Chapter Text
Of course, he was still working. Levi sighed as he looked at the light that was spilling out from beneath Erwin’s door. It was 1:30 in the morning, but of course, Erwin could never seem to stop working. For a few moments, Levi considered perhaps just letting things be, letting Erwin continue, but he knew that he had probably fallen asleep at his desk by this point. If Levi didn’t wake him up, Erwin would hurt his neck and Levi was sure to hear about that tomorrow.
Levi raised his fist and knocked softly on the door. “Erwin?”
He paused, waiting for any sound from behind the closed door. And he heard nothing, not even Erwin shifting. Levi sighed again as he knocked once more.
“Erwin, I know you’re in there.” Levi said, letting some of his exasperation show in his voice. But there was still no acknowledgement from the man inside. Yup, he was definitely asleep at his desk. Usually, Levi knocking woke him but he must have been exhausted to sleep through both the knocking and Levi calling out.
Fuck it, Levi thought as he grabbed the door handle and slowly pushed the door open. Levi peered through the open door and, sure enough, there was Erwin sleeping at his desk again. As Levi looked him over, he noticed that his neck was actually not that badly positioned but he still needed to sleep in a proper bed sometimes.
Levi fully entered the room and closed the door behind him. As he moved toward Erwin, he noticed that the room was a bit of a mess. Well, he supposed it was a bit of a mess to anyone else but to Levi, it looked like a trainwreck. It was clear that Erwin had been moving back and forth between the coffee table in front of the couch and the desk at which he was currently sleeping. There were papers scattered all over the coffee table as well as some quills and inkwells for making notes. He also noticed that a few books had been removed from the bookshelf and were placed haphazardly on the floor near the couch.
When he reached the desk he noticed that there were maps with formation markings on them, but that’s not what truly caught his eye. Right by Erwin’s left hand, which was resting on the top of the desk, was a letter. Levi’s curiosity got the better of him as he leaned down a bit closer to read the name.
Your dearest sister,
Ilana
Levi’s eyebrows raised involuntarily at seeing that. He hadn’t even known that Erwin had any family left alive. Erwin had never mentioned anyone and Levi had never really thought to ask. He wondered what Erwin’s family, or at least his sister, were like. Clearly they were close enough to write to each other since there was a letter, sitting right on the desk. Levi’s eyebrows furrowed as he wondered, once again, why Erwin had never mentioned any family at all.
Levi was pulled out of his musings about Erwin’s mysterious family as the man himself began to make noise. Levi looked over and was startled to see that Erwin looked like… well, he looked like he was in pain almost. His eyebrows were pinched together and he moaned just a bit. As Levi watched, Erwin’s breathing got heavier and he seemed to become more and more upset.
“Dad, no please…” Levi was just able to make out as Erwin mumbled in his sleep. “No, don’t!” He continued, clearly becoming more agitated.
Levi had seen soldiers have nightmares before; hell, he had them himself, so he knew that it was best to wake Erwin up before it got any worse. Levi reached out his hand and placed it on Erwin’s shoulder to shake him a bit.
“Erwin, you need to wake up,” Levi said softly, not wanting to jolt him awake suddenly. But it didn’t seem to matter how softly Levi spoke. Just a moment after Levi shook Erwin and spoke to him, Erwin’s eyes shot open and he was suddenly sitting up straight. Erwin’s hand shot out and tightly gripped Levi’s wrist which was still sitting near Erwin’s shoulder from just having shaken him.
Erwin’s eyes looked around wildly until he finally locked eyes with Levi. Then, Levi really started to become concerned as he saw the emotion behind Erwin’s eyes. This was an emotion he had never seen Erwin express, not even in their most harrowing mission beyond the walls. The expression was pure terror. Erwin was still breathing heavily and looked absolutely terrified.
Levi, with his wrist still trapped in Erwin’s death grip and with his eyes still locked on Erwin’s, calmly said “Erwin, it’s alright. It’s me, it’s Levi.”
Levi watched as Erwin blinked a few times and his breathing began to even out. Erwin locked eyes with him again and asked, “Levi?”
Levi nodded quietly as he waited for Erwin to fully regain his grasp on reality and what was going on. Erwin broke eye contact and looked at where he was gripping Levi’s wrist and Levi watched as his eyes widened in recognition. Erwin quickly withdrew his hand and used it to wipe some of his hair out of his face.
“Levi, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” Erwin quickly said, looking up at Levi once more.
Levi just shrugged and said, “It’s fine, you were having a nightmare, you couldn’t control it. I guess I should have been more gentle waking you up.”
“A nightmare, yes,” Erwin said slowly. “Well, what can I do for you Levi?”
Levi raised an eyebrow. “What can you do for me? You can get some rest in a bed rather than at your desk for once,” Levi said rolling his eyes.
“Pardon?” Erwin asked, his eyebrows pulling together a bit in confusion.
“Erwin, it’s 1:30 in the morning, you need to get some sleep. You’ve clearly been running yourself ragged if you’re falling asleep at your desk again.” Levi explained.
Erwin’s eyebrows raised a bit when he heard the time. “Ah, yes, I guess I lost track of time a bit.”
“A bit?” Levi asked as he huffed out a dry laugh.
Erwin smiled a bit at that and gave a small chuckle of his own. “Alright, I suppose I can clean up a bit and then I’ll go to bed.”
“I’ll help.”
“Levi, you don’t need to do that. I’m perfectly capable of cleaning up after myself.”
“Really? Because years of having to witness your messes have said otherwise.”
Erwin gave another small chuckle at that, and then sighed. “Well, if you’re offering, I would appreciate some help.”
Levi nodded again, “I couldn’t sleep anyway.”
And with that, Levi turned from Erwin and began stacking up the papers strewn about the room, trying to put them in some semblance of an order. He placed the stacked papers on Erwin’s desk for him to deal with, he didn’t know where he really wanted to put them after all, and turned back to the couch to begin gathering the books scattered around while Erwin organized his desk.
As he turned, however, something caught his eye near the bookshelf by Erwin’s desk. Looking a bit closer, he realized that it was a small portrait that he had never seen in the office before. There were 4 people in it, a man and a woman, both blonde, with small grins on their faces. In front of the man and woman were 2 children, a boy and a girl, the boy being a bit taller than the girl. Both were just as blonde as what he assumed were the parents. The boy had the same smile as the parents on his face, but the girl had an enormous grin on hers. As he looked a bit closer at the boy, he suddenly knew what he was looking at.
“That’s an old portrait of my family,” Levi heard right behind him. The sudden voice caused him to startle a bit as he turned to look at Erwin. Erwin looked at the picture with what seemed to Levi, to be a sad smile on his face. “I haven’t seen them in quite a long time. My sister just wrote to tell me she gave birth to her 3rd child earlier this year in fact.”
“Why haven’t you visited them?”
Erwin looked away from the portrait but kept the sad smile on his face. “Oh, many reasons I suppose. We’ve been quite busy recently as you know.”
Levi nodded and looked back at the picture, back to the smiling family in it.
“Levi?” Erwin asked as Levi turned from the portrait to look at him. “Would you like to—” Erwin paused, seeming to lose his words for a moment. He closed his mouth and smiled a small smile. “Ah, never mind.” He finished.
“What?”
Erwin paused, seeming suddenly embarrassed about what he was about to ask. “Well, I was going to ask if you would like to visit my family with me. But I’m sure you have much better things to do than follow an old man home to reminisce.” Erwin chuckled lightly.
Levi shifted, feeling a bit uneasy, though he didn’t quite know why. “Yeah, I have to train the brats. We have to make sure we keep at least some of them past their first mission.”
“Of course,” Erwin agreed, “please, forget I even said anything.” Levi watched as the sad smile returned to Erwin’s face as he turned back toward the desk to continue straightening up.
Levi just stood where he was, feeling… something. He hated seeing that sad expression on Erwin’s face and to know that he might have been the cause of it? Well, he hated that even more.
“I’ll go,” Levi said as Erwin turned to look at him. “I’ll visit your family with you. If you want.” Levi finished a bit awkwardly.
Levi watched as the sad smile turned into a truly happy one as Erwin asked, “Are you sure? I’m sure it won’t be terribly exciting.”
“It’s fine, you want me to go, so I’ll go.”
Erwin smiled again. “Alright, I’ll have to write my sister to let her know about the visit. How does a week from now sound?”
“Sure, that’s fine.” Levi agreed, just glad to see Erwin without that terrible expression on his face anymore.
“Wonderful, I’ll write her first thing tomorrow morning. I’ll make sure to arrange the transportation, just make sure you find someone who is able to cover your duties while we’re away. We shouldn’t be gone more than a week.”
Levi nodded once, watching as Erwin quickly stored the rest of the papers in his desk.
“I’ll be sure to let you know when we’re leaving, thank you Levi,” Erwin said, meeting his eyes once more.
“Sure,” Levi replied, keeping the eye contact.
As Erwin grinned, Levi felt something warm settle in his chest. He nodded once more and broke the eye contact as he moved to the closed door.
“’Night,” Levi said quickly, already about halfway across the room by the time the words left his mouth.
“Goodnight Levi, sleep well.”