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Perfectly Broken
Fall into me
Everyone's broken and I got this missing piece
Honestly
You fit me like no-one
You're perfectly broken for me
Jesper didn’t believe in soulmates. Technically, he knew that there was supposed to be one person out there for him, but he wasn’t so sure whether he’d ever meet that person or hear their laughter like everyone else did. It wasn’t the same for everyone. Some people heard their soulmate’s laughter in their early teens, some in their late twenties. He’d also heard of people who’d never heard that, who’d never met their soulmate - or had lost it way too early. Jesper had never heard anyone’s laughter in his head so far, but lately, there had been some sort of humming. A tune that he didn’t know, and he had to admit that it distracted him, made him get lost a little in some sort of dream. In fact, it took him back to wonderful memories, let him follow them down the rabbit hole a little time and time again, because it made him happy, made him feel so much all at once, that it was almost overwhelming. But when the humming was gone, he was immediately pulled back to reality, where he was met with two curious eyes, boring almost into his soul.
“Again Jesper?” Inej raised a questioning eyebrow looking him over. He was lucky they were in the Crow Club enjoying a drink together, because otherwise, this could have been dangerous. Of course, he knew that, and he didn’t even want to zone out like that, but it just happened, and since the humming appeared more often, he knew that he had to do something about it.
“Maybe it is your soulmate, and you’re just communicating differently.”
“Yeah. Sure.” Jesper couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes. Maybe, Inej was projecting a little on him, hoping for him to find his soulmate like this, because she hadn’t heard any laughter yet as well. Jesper on the other hand knew for a fact who’d heard her laughter. He could see it in Kaz's eyes whenever Inej laughed, and he just wanted to lock them in a room until they figured this out. Until Inej realised that Kaz was really her soulmate and until Kaz allowed himself to show how he felt. He knew that it wasn’t that easy, in fact, it was rather complicated, but Inej was looking for something she already had right in front of her, and who knew when she’d realise it.
“Or you have some kind of disease. But I think I prefer my initial suspicion.” She turned her glass between her fingers and shrugged her shoulders. Oh, Inej was pretty sure that she was right, that Jesper and his soulmate were just communicating differently, but if he didn’t want to believe that or investigate it even, she’d try to leave him alone - as long as he didn’t zone out on a job and got them in danger like that.
“Thought about that as well.” It did scare him a little, that this might be the case, but he was good at pushing stuff like that away from himself, and so he did the same right now, threw back another shot before he got up. Inej’s questioning look made him speak up again: “I have to pick up something for Kaz. I’ll see you in a bit.”
The wind was cold, but Wylan was hungry, and so he wasn’t behind closed doors in an abandoned house where he’d made himself some sort of home, but instead outside on the streets, playing the flute to maybe get a bit of money together so he could afford a warm meal. He hadn’t had a proper meal in days, just bits and pieces to keep him going. Making music in the streets didn’t earn him much, but sometimes, there was at least something that came out of it. If only he had a piano or keyboard, then he could do something more, but that cost money as well, and he didn’t have that, so the flute would have to do. He stuffed his jacket beneath him so he didn’t have to sit on the cold floor. That also meant that his upper body was a bit cold, but he’d manage, he always did somehow. No matter how cold it was here, it was better than being home with his so-called family, who were happier with him gone.
There were a few people who threw some money into the little box he had in front of him, probably because they felt bad for him. Honestly, he didn’t care why they did it, as long as he got some food out of it in the end. He’d played songs people knew all the time, but when it was dying down, less people walking by, he chose to play some of his own music, even got a bit lost in it, until he heard someone’s footsteps coming closer rather quickly. His eyes opened again and he stopped playing, his heart beating rapidly in his chest, because he always had to be ready to run with people being after him. His father’s people specifically.
“Hey! You!”
That was it. Wylan grabbed the money and his jacket and ran, didn’t wait a moment longer, fear being his catalyst and making him run even faster.
“Please stop!”
He heard the voice not far behind him, but since he knew this part of town so well, he found the nearest nook to almost vanish from sight. The darkness helped conceal his figure, now he just had to control his breathing to now be detected. His eyes darted out into the dimly lit alley, and he could see the person who’d called and run after him, dressed in rather flashy clothes, a top hat on his head. His heart jumped in his chest, though he couldn’t really say why. Was it fear or something else?
Jesper turned and looked around, but there was nobody to be seen. People don’t just vanish into thin air, so he had to be here somewhere. His heart was beating rapidly against his ribs, because that melody had sounded so familiar. It didn’t have to mean anything, he just wanted to ask the person where he knew that melody from, so maybe he could finally figure out why he was hearing that melody hummed inside his head. He kept looking for another five minutes or so, but didn’t find anyone, and though he wasn’t prone to giving up, he realised that it didn’t make sense to keep walking around in the cold when he couldn’t find anyone. Especially when Kaz was waiting for his delivery.
“Wylan.”
The well-known voice made him jump, because it was so unexpected, especially here in the darkness. He’d slipped back into his… well, his home of choice, because he couldn’t afford anything, and this was giving him at least a little shelter, and hardly anyone knew that he was here. Kaz did, though, because he’d worked for him a couple of times, desperate to have something to eat, some money. He’d never thought he’d do something criminal, but hunger made you do things you never thought possible.
“Kaz. What are you doing here?” Wylan licked his lips, put down his backpack and let the flute vanish into his pocket, before he reached for the small lamp to turn it on. The electricity was working in here, but he couldn’t turn on all the lights, because that would make people out there suspicious and investigate why there were lights on in an abandoned building.
“I have a business proposal for you.”
“I told you, I’m not feeling good about that.” But desperation had driven him to work for Kaz Brekker, but after finding out that someone had been hurt with his product , his conscience had kicked his behind a little. Yes, it had been someone who’d deserved far more than to break his hand, but it had still not sat right with him.
“It’s not that. I need your musical expertise. You need to create a diversion for us.” Kaz leaned a bit forward onto his cane, letting his eyes wander over Wylan’s body until his eyes cae to rest on his face.
“I- I don’t think I’ll be a good distraction with my flute.”
“I’m not talking about the flute.”
“But-”
“Wylan, don’t forget that I know you.” Kaz knew pretty much everything, knew about his heritage, knew why he’d run from home, why he was staying here, and so he also knew about his skills. “I need you on the piano.”
“I don’t…” He shook his head slightly, not sure whether this was a good idea or not, whether he was doing the right thing with that.
“You’ll get a room at the Crow Club, a warm bed, food.” Kaz took a step towards him, giving him another once over. “Some more food, because you do need your strength. We’re just taking back what’s rightfully ours, nothing more.” This time at least, but since Pekka Rollins had stolen from them, they deserved all that back.
It sounded way too tempting, and with temperatures dropping, did Wylan really have a choice? Not if he wanted to survive. He’d been freezing the night before already, and he knew that it would get worse. And a warm bed and food sounded way too good to say no.
“I might be a bit rusty, though.” Wylan looked up at Kaz who was taking another measured step towards him. Kaz knew that Wylan wasn’t rusty at all, that he was just saying that because he wasn’t sure whether it was a good idea or not.
“You can practise at the club. The nights will get colder.”
“Alright.” It was all the convincing he needed apparently. “Just need to pack up my stuff.”
“Take whatever you need right now, and I’ll send someone to get everything else, especially the chemicals.” They might come in handy at one point, because as much as he needed Wylan on the piano for the next job, he might need his other talents in the future.
“Just tell them to be careful then.” Big eyes looked up at Kaz, because Wylan really didn’t want anything to happen to anyone while they handled these bottles and everything else.
Kaz nodded and waited for Wylan to pack whatever he needed, before he left the building with him, taking him to what was hopefully becoming his new home. But even if it was just temporary or for the winter, Wylan would be grateful, because it meant surviving, it meant some food and a safe spot to rest his head.
“You!” Jesper almost gasped when he opened the door to bring some food to the new guy. Kaz had brought him in through the back door and shuffled him upstairs so that nobody saw Wylan, and then he’d sent Jesper to take some stuff upstairs, some food, water, towels, whatever Wylan needed to settle in. Kaz may look and act like he had a heart of stone and only cared about money, but in fact, he took really good care of the people around him, though he might not always show it that openly. Jesper knew him long and well enough though, knew that the new guy wasn’t just someone they needed, but also someone Kaz wanted around, though he didn’t know what it was about him.
Wylan scooted back from the door, away from Jesper a little bit, startled by his tone of voice and his appearance - though Jesper had had the decency to knock before he’d entered the room. Wylan recognised him straight away, the guy from the alley that he’d run away from. Well, he couldn’t have known that he was with Kaz, but even if he had known that, he would have probably run for his life.
“Why did you run?” The question he was most curious about. Or the second most curious about, but he was so flustered, which wasn’t normal for Jesper, that he had to ask that first as he put down the plate and water, handed the towels to Wylan, waiting for him to take them.
“I…” He licked his dry lips as he took the towels, having that same feeling he’d had in the alley earlier when looking at the other one, his pulse quickening and his stomach doing this weird thing he rather didn’t want to think about. Big eyes looked back up at Jesper as he spoke. “I didn’t know who you were or what you wanted so it was safer to run and hide.”
Jesper’s brows rose on his forehead and he pressed his lips together. Fair enough , he thought. You could never be careful enough. And someone looking like Wylan was an easy target. Though, if he put his mind to it, he could probably learn to flirt his way out of every situation with those plush lips and big eyes surrounded by lashes that were so long that every woman would get jealous. Jesper could at least see himself falling under Wylan’s spell easily, and he didn’t even have to do anything for that to happen. Instead of following down that road, he straightened a little again and crossed his arms, completely forgetting what else he’d wanted to ask Wylan.
“Alright. Eat up and you can take a bath next door. Get some sleep as well and Kaz wants us all to talk tomorrow when we’ve all had some rest.” He’d put it that way, but Jesper knew that he had mainly been talking about Wylan, and he could see why. Some food, a bath and a good night’s sleep would probably work wonders for him.
“Thank you…?” Wylan looked up at him expectantly, since he hadn’t caught his name yet, and since they would be working together, it was probably good to find that out.
“Oh. Jesper.”
“I’m Wylan.”
“I know.” Jesper gave him a lopsided grin before he bowed a little, sent him a wink. “Get some rest, Wylan.”
Wylan caught himself staring at the closed door for a moment longer, trying to figure out what was going on inside him. Oh, deep down he knew what it was, thought that his voice sounded familiar in a way, but he didn’t allow himself to believe in this. So, instead he turned to his food and filled his stomach before he took a much needed bath.
The bathroom was small and dimly lit, and yet, Wylan relaxed for the first time since leaving his home when he settled in the hot water. Finally, he felt his bones warm up as well, the muffled sounds from outside showing him that he wasn’t alone, but that it wasn’t that kind of noise that made you stand on edge, because someone might come after him any moment now. Weirdly enough, he felt safe here, knowing instinctively that not only Kaz but the others as well would look out for him. His fingertips trailed over the surface of the steaming water, his wet hair pushed back from his face, as he began singing quietly. “When I look into your eyes, I free myself of all my lies. Bare to you my soul and bone, knowing I have found my-”
“Home.” Jesper mumbled this one word, staring straight ahead, everything else around him drowned out completely. All the noises from the club, the people around him. Slowly his eyes found Inej’s again, who looked at him a little lost.
“What are you on about?”
“Did someone just sing in here?”
“No? There isn’t anyone singing here, so what - oh my God, it’s not just humming anymore, is it?” The triumphant smile on her lips almost made Jesper roll his eyes and leave her sitting there all by herself. But by now, he realised or at least allowed himself to believe that she was onto something here. That he wasn’t sick, but that it really had something to do with this whole soulmate thing. And the voice sounded familiar, but still different in a way, and he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.
“Same melody, but with lyrics this time. It’s… I feel like I know that voice.” And he had no idea just where he’d heard that voice before. Maybe because he hadn’t heard that person sing yet.
“This is Wylan,” Kaz introduced him the following day to the rest of the group. “He’ll help us get what Pekka Rollins stole from us back.” Wylan still didn’t know what it was, nor did he really want to know, because when it came to Kaz Brekker, it could be pretty much anything.
“And how is that supposed to work? How do you know he’s not working for Pekka?” It was Jesper who spoke up, who crossed his arms over his chest and cast a quick glance at Wylan, who immediately avoided eye contact. Not because he didn’t want to look at Jesper or because he had a guilty conscience, but because of the things Jesper made him feel. He had his suspicions why it was like that, but he pushed it away. It was understandable that they were weary of him. Wylan had felt the same way when he’d encountered Jesper the day before.
“Because Wylan has helped us before.” Kaz leaned on his cane and fixed Jesper with his gaze. “He’s an expert with chemicals.”
Now, a lot of things were falling into place for Jesper. He trusted Kaz, more than anyone else except for Inej maybe, but there were certain things Kaz didn’t talk about. Wylan was certainly one of those things, so it was no wonder Jesper hadn’t heard of him before, but at least he’d been able to see his work - that had now and then really saved their asses.
“So, what’s the plan?” Inej looked up at Kaz, curious as well since he hadn’t told anyone what he had thought about, what he wanted them to do.
“Pekka Rollins is having a talent show, drawing in big names and all that, and that’s where Wylan comes in. I’ll register him and support him, be the face Pekka sees. Of course, he’ll get suspicious, but more of me than of what might be going on in the background. Wylan will certainly distract them with his playing and his singing.”
“Singing?” Wylan piqued up, eyes wide in surprise. They hadn’t talked about this, Kaz had only mentioned him playing piano, but of course he knew. How could Wylan have thought that he wouldn’t know that as well?
“Didn’t I mention that?” Of course he hadn’t, because he’d needed to lure Wylan in, and now that he was here, Kaz thought it easier to persuade him. “We need that kind of distraction and your voice on top of the piano will render them all speechless.” At least, Kaz was sure that it would work out this way. Wylan on the other hand wasn’t so sure. Yes, he’d played the flute and sung in the streets, and there had been the occasional appearances in the shopping mall where he’d used the piano that was standing there, and it had brought in some money for him. But he’d never actually played and sung in front of an audience that would pay that much attention and judge what he was doing on stage. Well, he’d never been on a proper stage as well, but Kaz believed that he could do that. Being here among the others, having a proper bed and some food to fill his stomach were things that he didn’t want to give up. At least not without trying.
“And you think Pekka will let you register?” Jesper raised a questioning eyebrow, trying to push his curiosity aside that Wylan was apparently able to play the piano and sing as well. I intrigued him to no ende, he had to admit, but right now, he had to focus on the plan.
“He already did. It’s already done, but of course he questioned me about it.” Kaz pulled up one of the chairs and sat down, leaning back a little. “I know he’ll be watching me, and I want Wylan to practise here, maybe even get word out to Pekka, so he’ll focus on that, on us, so that you-” He looked at the other four in the room, including Nina and Matthias that he needed for this little project or job whatever you wanted to call it “-can get back what is rightfully ours. Inej will fill you in on everything.” So that Kaz could retreat with Wylan and be seen with him as well, setting the perfect distraction for Rollins.
They went their separate ways, the other four to talk strategy, to be filled in by Inej, while Kaz took Wylan with him to sit him in front of a piano.
“Have you thought about what to play yet?”
“I’m not sure.” Wylan got comfortable on the piano bench, the room empty except for the two of them, making Wylan feel a little more at ease. There was so much happening all at once, and he was always doubting himself, now wasn’t an exception, but Kaz apparently believed in him, and that at least lifted his spirits a little.
“Look.” Kaz took a step towards him, lay his arm on the piano, his gloved fingers stroking slowly over the wooden surface. “I know that you can do it. Of course you could choose a cover song, but your own song would definitely work better.”
Wylan’s heart started beating against his ribs at that. Yes, he’d played a part of that before, had played and hummed the melody hundreds of times, had even sung it last night when he’d been alone, but he wasn’t sure whether he could sing that in front of other people who were properly listening to him.
“I don’t know if I’m ready for that, if I’m good enough.”
“You’re much better than you think you are, you just have to believe in yourself. I certainly do.”
Kaz didn’t wait for a reaction or some kind of answer, he simply turned around and left Wylan alone to practise and make up his mind. Kaz had high hopes that Wylan would decide to play his own music instead of something someone else had written. There was nothing wrong with that, and Wylan’s voice sounded beautiful, almost ethereal no matter what, but something that he’d come up with himself carried way more meaning and feeling, and that was what would wow the audiences. Maybe it was a bit about winning that contest for Kaz as well, to show Pekka Rollins that he could beat him there as well.
Wylan set to work and practised on the piano. He had to admit that it felt incredibly good to be sitting on a piano again, properly this time and not just for a few moments. It was warm here, he had everything he needed, and he didn’t need to worry about anyone shooing him away from the instrument because he didn’t deserve to play, no matter how good he was. And he was good, better than good actually, because he’d learned a lot from his mother. He wasn’t as rusty as he’d led Kaz to believe, it had just been a way to weave himself out of that situation, because he’d been unsure whether it was a good idea or not. In the end, having a place to stay and some food, people that he could feel safe around, was definitely worth making music. After all, he loved it, because it was a part of him that still connected him with his mother. Music conveyed so much, so many emotions, so many thoughts and feelings that you wanted to show others, wanted to make them feel.
This time, he didn’t hum along or sing, just concentrated on playing, but something distracted him, slowed down his playing. Laughter . Clear and bright in his head, and the most beautiful sound. He’d heard it before, a couple of times, for months now, but this time, it suddenly stopped in time with the door to the room opening. And Wylan knew why it had stopped: Because he could hear it in person now. His heart leapt in his chest when he saw just who was laughing while walking next to Inej into the room. Jesper Fahey. Deep down, Wylan had probably known it the moment he’d laid eyes on Jesper, at least deep down, as if he had been drawn to the other one. Yes, Jesper was an attractive man, there was no doubt about this, but it was so much more. It was about the way he carried himself, that lopsided smile, and the way he seemed to look right into Wylan’s soul when he looked at him, hsi eyes lingering longer than was probably appropriate.
He was catapulted back to reality when the laughter died down and he found himself faced with two pairs of curious eyes. Wylan’s cheeks turned a deep shade of pink, as if they both knew what he’d been thinking about, which was ridiculous, but he somehow felt like a deer caught in the headlights of a car, unable to move.
“Sorry, Wylan, we really didn’t want to stop you from playing.” Inej was the one to speak, while Jesper’s eyes seemed to be glued to Wylan, on his expressive face, the blushed cheeks that he wanted to touch so badly right now. Jesper had no idea where this was coming from, but he couldn’t deny that Wylan fascinated and captivated him in a way nobody else had done so far. Sure, he’d had his fun with quite a few people, beautiful people at that, but Wylan still had a different kind of effect on him.
“It’s okay. Really. I was done with the piece anyway.” A lie, and not a good one, but he was still trying to calm his racing heart, his fingers slightly shaky from the realisation that it was Jesper’s laughter he’d been hearing all this time.
“Oh,” Jesper managed to say, usually so talkative, but right now a bit lost for words, and it was all due to Wylan. “We were kind of hoping to hear you play.”
“Just a little bit?” Inej sent him a hopeful smile, tilting her head to the side, trying to persuade him. Wylan looked between the two, and since he was someone who always wanted to make others smile, give them what they wanted, he caved. Well, maybe playing would give him a bit of distraction. But he wouldn’t play just what he’d played before, instead he would opt for something his mother had taught him.
“Alright. Let’s see if I can still get that together. It’s a piece my mother taught me.” He pushed his locks back from his forehead and rubbed his hands together before he laid his fingers on the piano keys. After taking another deep breath, Wylan started to play. He easily got lost in the music, managed to play it from the get go. Not that anyone would probably notice straight away if he made a mistake, but he would know and it would bother him.
Mesmerised didn’t even begin to describe how Jesper felt. His eyes were drawn to Wylan, first to his hands and then to his concentrated face, that still looked completely at ease in this situation. His eyes closed every now and then, feeling the music, and Jesper… Jesper felt something slot into place inside him. He didn’t know what it was exactly - or rather didn’t want to think about what it was in the end. What he wasn’t prepared for was the impact Wylan had on him when their eyes met at the end of the song. The last notes were hanging in the air, their eyes locked on each other, and everything inside Jesper ached to get closer to Wylan, take his hands and pull him close. It was scary in a way, but wonderful at the same time to feel like this. It was unlike anything he’d ever felt before, and it had everything to do with the man playing piano right in front of them.
“That was-” Inej started, but Jesper interrupted.
“Beautiful.” His eyes were still lingering on Wylan until he shook his head just slightly, pulling himself back together. “You’re really gonna blow them away, especially if you do sing as well.” Not that Jesper had heard him sing yet, but if Kaz was as right about his singing as he was about his playing, Wylan would leave them all speechless. Maybe, Jesper would get the chance to hear him sing before that evening.
“Thank you.” Wylan blushed again at the praise, turning his head a little to the side to hide that and the smile appearing on his lips. He needed a moment before he got up from the bench. “I should probably… get something to eat.” Because it was necessary, because he was hungry, and because it was there right in front of him more or less. He wasn’t wolfing down food, he ate normally, just maybe a bit more often than usual, because his body was still craving the food. But he was always very considerate, getting a snack here and there, and right now, it was a good excuse to get out of this situation, give himself a moment to progress what he’d just realised, no matter that he’d kind of felt it before already.
“You should. And thank you for that little demonstration.” Inej smiled at him, still in awe of his talent, but also curious about something else, since she’d never seen Jesper like this.
“You’re welcome.” He bowed with a little, honest smile, before leaving the room, finally able to breathe properly again, but his heart was still beating rapidly in his chest.
When Jesper wanted to follow Wylan out of the room, Inej caught his wrist in her hand and stopped him.
“Oh you like him!” she whispered, not wanting anyone to overhear, but she couldn’t stop herself from saying this.
“Well…” Jesper stopped in his tracks, licked his suddenly dry lips, but didn’t look at his friend. “Let’s say, I’m intrigued by him.”
“Oh, so it’s deeper than just liking him.” She’d seen Jesper when he’d liked someone, when he’d wanted someone for himself, but this… this was different. The soft expression on his face when he’d watched Wylan hadn’t been lost on her. Still, she didn’t want him to feel pushed into a corner, because then his fight or flight mode might kick in, and she didn’t want that to happen. “But I have to admit, he is rather intriguing. Especially when you see him on the piano and know now what he can do with chemicals.”
“Oh yes.” And that was the most fascinating part, the duality of him, this soft, sweet person that played the piano and put people under his spell like this, and the other one that mixed chemicals and helped them steal and get away with it. Yes, Jesper was intrigued, fascinated even, and something else he didn’t want to say out loud.
Throughout the days, they met up, talked, shared food, and Wylan fit in better and better, felt more at home than he had done in his own home since losing his mother. It wasn’t about the place, but about the people he was with. Nina always made sure that he was eating enough, and since she’d snuck in to listen to him play the piano and Wylan had caught her, he kept asking her to join him. At one point. Matthias joined as well, and he was also the one going with him when he needed something. Nobody knew what Pekka would do to get Kaz and Wylan out of his contest, so it was better to be safe than sorry. Wylan had to admit that he really liked having Matthias around, and not just because he felt safe with him around, but also because they had some wonderful conversations. Even to the others, Matthias had said: “Don’t worry, I’ll protect this little lamb.” At first, Wylan hadn’t known what to think of that, but by now, he really liked being called that by Matthias, because it showed that he cared. Something that Wylan still had to get used to a little bit.
They were enjoying dinner, swapping stories, and there it was again, that heart-warming laughter that made his heart skip a beat or two. He’d heard it a couple of times in his head again, but hearing it in person was something else entirely, sent a shiver down his back and made him feel all warm and fuzzy. Jesper had a hold on him without even realising it, and it was probably better this way. Maybe it was just one-sided anyway? Who knew, because he’d heard about people thinking they had found their soulmate, but that person found someone else in the end, or never heard any laughter at all.
What eventually drove that feeling home was that there was no discernible reaction from Jesper when someone made Wylan laugh. Well, it was more of a giggle, but definitely loud enough for everyone to hear - and they hadn’t heard Wylan like that before. Yes, Jesper looked his way, but just like everyone else. Wylan’s giggle died down, and his eyes met Jesper’s, who was wearing a soft smile on his lips. He quickly cast his eyes down, taking a deep breath, before he excused himself to get some fresh air. The wine was getting a bit to his head - at least that was a good excuse for him to really head outside.
Wylan stepped to the side and leaned against the wall of the building taking a few deep breaths. His head was spinning a little due to the mix of alcohol in his system and the cool air hitting his skin and filling his lungs. Was he maybe getting a bit too comfortable here? Would all this be over once he’d done his part in Kaz’s plan?
“Everything alright?” Wylan’s eyes opened again when he heard the - by now - familiar voice, that smooth tone that made the hairs on his arms stand up and his heart give a hard pang against his ribs. Jesper put up the collar of his coat and stepped closer, rubbing his hands together against the cold. Seeing him like that, Wylan realised that he had forgotten to take his jacket with him. Maybe, because it was still up in his room, since he hadn’t needed it today so far.
“Yes, just needed some fresh air.” Wylan pushed himself off the wall again to stand a little taller, but he’d never be as tall as Jesper. Though, admittedly, he definitely liked looking up at him a little. He wouldn’t tell Jesper that he was part of the reason he had needed to get outside.
“But you’re not feeling dizzy or anything?” Jesper was a little worried about him, he had to admit. Wylan hadn’t had that much to drink, but he still wanted to make sure that he was alright. In addition, it gave them a moment alone, and Jesper the chance to study him without anyone watching them, since he couldn’t get enough of seeing that slight flush on Wylan’s cheeks. It was probably due to the alcohol and the cold air as well, but it looked way too good on him, made him want to deepen that colour, just like he’d done before when he’d heard him play the piano together with Inej.
“No need to worry about me, honestly.” He looked up at Jesper through thick, black lashes, before he had to chuckle a little. “Are you worried someone will snatch me away while I’m out here alone?”
“Maybe.” Jesper’s eyes drifted to Wylan’s lips, then back up to these intense eyes. “Would be a shame if I couldn’t look at that pretty face anymore.”
Wylan did this thing when he blushed, where he tilted his head, turned it to the side to try and hide his pretty face a little bit, and it was adorable. It also made Jesper want to grab his chin and turn his face back towards him so that he could kiss him senseless. And that was what he did - at least the first part. Gentle fingers reached for his chin to turn Wylan to face him, but he got distracted by the shiver that went through Wylan’s body, making him forget what he’d wanted to do because he started worrying about him again. Wylan’s eyes widened a little as Jesper’s hand fell away from him.
“Here, you must be freezing.” He shucked out of his coat to hand it to Wylan, who immediately shook his head, raised his hands to push the coat back at Jesper. “I insist.”
“But what about you?”
“Oh don’t worry about me, I’m naturally hot-blooded.” Jesper winked at him, followed it up with a little laugh. Carefully, he wrapped his coat around Wylan’s shoulders, putting up the collar and pulling him a bit closer like that.
“Thank you.” His voice was barely more than a whisper, his heart beating so fast in his chest, that he could hear the blood rushing in his head. Jesper’s scent was intoxicating, the way their breaths mingled in the cold air making him feel a little light-headed, and when he looked up, his eyes lingered on Jesper’s lips for a moment longer than was probably appropriate. But when he cast his eyes further upwards, he was rather sure that Jesper had looked at his lips as well.
“You’re welcome.” Jesper’s fingers lingered a moment longer on the collar of his coat, before he cleared his throat and took a step back from Wylan. It was safer that way, because as much as he wanted to kiss him stupid, feel those soft lips beneath his own, he knew that it probably wasn’t a wise choice to do that. He may be a gambler, but he knew that this job was important, and he didn’t want to risk anything. Not when he couldn’t be sure whether Wylan wanted this as well or not. Not when Jesper was usually a guy for just one night, but Wylan… well, he definitely deserved more than just that.
“Are you coming back inside or do you want to freeze your asses off?” Nina called over to them, stopping in her tracks when she saw how close they stood together. Oh, she’d interrupted something there, she was sure of it. Especially when she saw Wylan’s flushed cheeks and the way he quickly averted his gaze.
“Yes, on our way.” Wylan called back to her and straightened a little more, setting into motion towards the door, only to realise Jesper wasn’t following him. So, he turned back around to look at him. “Jesper?”
“Gimme another minute.” He pushed his hands into his jeans pockets and took a deep breath. When Wylan started to shrug out of his coat, he quickly stopped him. “Keep it. It looks way too good on you.” It may have been a bit too big on him, but he still liked seeing it on Wylan, and he’d realised that the jacket Wylan wore wouldn’t keep him warm when it got even colder. In addition, seeing Wylan wear something that belonged to him… it definitely had a certain effect on him, made the word mine appear in his head, even though he had no right to think or feel like this. Still, it was there.
“I can’t possibly accept that.” His eyes widened, his chest tightened while his heart beat rapidly against his ribs. Wylan wasn’t used to this, to people being nice to him, to being taken care of like this. Getting gifted something like this was in fact a little overwhelming for him.
“Yes you can. I have a few more like that, and you’ll need it when it gets even colder. And you can wear it on the big evening.” Not that Jesper had anything to say against Wylan’s clothes, he was especially a fan of those suspenders he sometimes wore, but he knew that Pekka Rollins would have an eye on Wylan, and that meant they had to plan the perfect outfit for the contest.
“That’s…” awfully sweet . Wylan shook his head just slightly, the smile returning to his lips as he looked up at Jesper again. “Thank you.”
Jesper watched him go back into the building, cuddling into the coat he was wearing. Where it had hit Jesper around the back of his knees, it hit Wylan around mid-calf. Wylan had him in a chokehold without even trying, he realised that, but honestly? He didn’t really mind, because Wylan was endlessly fascinating to him, and he couldn’t wait to peel away layer after layer and find out what else there was to know about him.
Jesper needed another fifteen minutes until he came back inside. For the rest of the evening, his eyes wandered to Wylan time and time again, watched and listened to him talk and laugh - and he felt something warm spread inside him. Wylan fit in so well with the rest of them, and Jesper found himself hoping that Wylan would stay once they were finished with the contest, with their job .
Meanwhile, Nina kept an eye on both of them, to make sure that her suspicions were correct, that she wasn’t just seeing things. And she wasn’t disappointed, could see each of them stealing glances at one another. She’d known Jesper for a while now, had seen him flirt a lot of people into a corner. People he’d had his fun with, but the way he looked at Wylan was completely different. So utterly soft, she’d never seen him like that. As for Wylan, he’d quickly occupied a place in her heart. So Nina took it upon her to take a tipsy Wylan up the stairs and to his room once they all decided to head to bed. She kissed Matthias and told him she’d join him in a moment, but that she wanted to make sure Wylan got up okay. He wasn’t drunk, just tipsy, and he would have been able to do that by himself, but she wanted to have a moment with him.
“You got your water right here, love, so I think you’ll be alright for the night.” She fluffed up the pillow for him and sat down on the chair opposite his bed. The room wasn’t big, but it was cosy, and tidy. Wylan was slowly shrugging out of the coat Jesper had given him, folding it neatly so that he could lay it down. He’d take extra care of this piece of clothing, because it was something special for him.
“Thanks, Nina.” He rubbed his palms over his eyes, before running his fingers through his hair, leaving it a bit dishevelled. Slowly, he settled down on his bed, towing off his boots, for once not caring where they ended up, because he was getting more and more tired, the wine doing its part as well.
“It was a great evening, wasn’t it?” She kept her eyes on him, a soft smile on her lips, when Wylan slowly stretched out on the bed.
“It was. Wonderful. But…”
“But what?” Nina leaned forward a little, an amused smile on her lips as she kept watching him. She was rather sure that she knew what was on his mind.
“Nothing…”
“It’s Jesper, isn’t it?”
Wylan sat up so fast his head started spinning, so he had to lay down again, closing his eyes against the slight dizziness.
“I’m sorry, I interrupted that moment between you two. I had no idea.” But she’d seen the way they’d looked at each other, had seen the longing in Wylan’s eyes.
“Nothing happened. And it probably won’t anyway. I mean…” A soft sigh escaped his lips as he turned onto the side so he could look at Nina. If he could talk to anyone about this, it was her. “I heard his laughter, and when I first saw him, there was this feeling, I can’t even describe.” Underneath the fear that Jesper had been looking for him to kill him, there had been this warm fuzzy feeling inside him, a feeling of utter happiness, just like he’d had as a child when he’d heard the most wonderful melodies from his mother. A feeling of home that had only intensified the more he’d talked to Jesper. “But he doesn’t hear mine.”
“How do you know?”
“There isn’t the slightest recognition in his eyes when he hears me laugh.”
“Maybe it takes a little more time for him?” It could be after all. “And even if it’s not the case, you’re not bound by this, you know?”
“How was it for you?” Wylan hadn’t asked her so far, but he was curious, and if he was being honest, he could use a bit of a distraction from his own thoughts and feelings.
“Oh, we hated each other’s guts.” Nina couldn’t hold back a laugh at the memory, considering how they were acting now, how much love she felt for Matthias. “Kaz brought us together for a job, and we really didn’t like each other at first, but had to pretend to do so. And it was a constant fight over who was right, what the other was doing wrong, I was too vulgar, he was too stuck up.” She shook her head, a fond smile on her lips. “Then we got kinda stranded in a motel, about a year ago, and it was fucking cold, let me tell you. The heater didn’t work and Matthias let me have the bed and the blankets and said he’d sleep on the couch. In the middle of the night, I kinda pulled him into bed with me, because I didn’t want to tell Kaz that he froze to death because we couldn’t share a bed.” She still remembered how much she’d needed to persuade him, and in the end, he reluctantly stripped off his clothes - since body heat was the best way to keep each other warm, skin on skin contact doing a lot for them. “When we woke up, we were toasty warm and had our arms wrapped around each other. I made a stupid joke and he laughed. I joined right in with him, and I guess we both realised that we didn’t only hear the other one’s laugh in that moment, but had heard it before, and could feel it in our bodies as well. It was… strange and wonderful at the same time.” It was hard to describe, really, but she had a feeling Wylan knew exactly what she was talking about, at least judging by the smile that greased his lips right now. “We spent the whole day talking, only got up to get some food into our room. Been inseparable since.”
“That sounds wonderful, Nina. And I can see how much you mean to each other.”
“But it also shows that it’s not always easy right from the start, so don’t give up hope, alright? Promise me that. Jesper might still hear it at one point and realise it then.”
“I’ll try my best.” Because what else was there to do than hope that it would turn out alright? Especially with the tension between them that he’d felt earlier that still had his whole body buzzing a little, and made it difficult for Wylan to fall asleep straight away. But when he did fall asleep, he had a happy smile on his lips.
The next time Jesper caught Wylan alone, was when he was working with his chemicals. While Kaz had gotten him on the team to make music and serve as distraction, Wylan still had his chemicals in a special spot, in the building next to the Crow Club, where he could work and had his peace and quiet. Because they might need his help in that regard as well, and because he knew that Wylan did this to take his mind off things as well.
“Anybody here?” Jesper called ahead, knowing full well that Wylan was here, but making himself known so he wouldn’t get scared. Because that was one thing he’d noticed, that Wylan got frightened easily, and he knew that it was partly due to living on the streets, but he had a feeling, there was a bit more to it.
“Jesper?” Wylan looked up from the bottle in front of him and stepped back from the table. He took off the gloves, before pushing his hair from his eyes. “What are you doing here?”
“Kaz sent me to check up on you, see if you needed anything.” A lie. Kaz hadn’t done anything of the like, but Jesper knew that Wylan was here, that he could finally have a moment alone with him again. He couldn’t say just what he thought might happen, what he was hoping for, he just wanted to spend time with him without having to watch what he said or did, because someone else was around.
“I’m alright, I think I have everything I need.” Slowly, he nodded his head, looking up at Jesper, who came to a stop on the other side of the table. He saw the curious eyes flitting over the bottles, and when Jesper reached out his hand, Wylan quickly captured it with his own. “Better not touch… anything. Just to be safe.” His eyes were glued to their joined hands, to the way Jesper turned his hand so that he could hold Wylan’s in his own. His first instinct was to pull his hand back, but he didn’t. Couldn’t do it. Not when it felt so right and he felt the tingles move from his fingertips up to his elbow and further up until they spread through his whole body. How could something feel so good, so right, when they were not meant for each other? Maybe, Nina was right, and it took a bit longer for Jesper to hear him. Maybe not. But right now, he couldn’t bring himself to pull away.
“Are you worried I might break something?”Jesper tilted his head a little, an amused little smile on his lips that hopefully didn’t give away how nervous he felt all of a sudden, how quick and hard his heart was beating inside his chest, because Wylan’s hand in his felt so incredibly right.
“I’m more worried that you might hurt yourself.”
“Oh, so you’re worried about me, hm?” Jesper pulled him a little closer by his hand, stroked his thumb over his wrist.
“Something like that.” Wylan carefully pulled his hand back and busied himself with arranging the bottles he’d just worked with, putting little stickers with pictures and musical notes on them to arrange them.
Jesper’s hand felt suddenly so cold when Wylan’s was gone, and he couldn’t hide the slight disappointment, though he had to say that it was probably for the best. After all, Wylan needed both hands to handle the bottles, right?
“You have a unique way of labelling your bottles. I kinda like that.”
“Easier for me, and it keeps people’s hands off them, since they don’t know what’s in them.”
“Fair enough.” Jesper smiled to himself, because that really came in handy. It was actually really clever of Wylan. He seemed to know an awful lot about a lot of things, and he was rather sure that he hadn’t learned to play the piano like that out on the streets. “Can I ask you… how did you end up on the streets?” His voice was soft, genuinely curious, not judging him at all, but he really wanted to know more about him.
Wylan stiffened slightly, his eyes glued to the bottles in front of him as he wet his lips with his tongue. He’d thought that the others might have known already, but apparently, Kaz had kept that to himself. Wylan knew, though, that if he wanted to stay here, he had to open up at one point, tell them his story.
“The short version is that I ran away from home.”
“And the long version? The details?” Because Wylan didn’t strike him as someone who just ran away from home because something wasn’t going the way he wanted it to.
“You mean the one where my father is embarrassed of me and doesn’t want me in the public eye, so he tried to get me killed?” Wylan only cast a quick glance at Jesper, before looking down again.
“What?” Disbelieving, Jesper looked him up and down, before he slowly started walking around the table. He wanted, needed to be closer to Wylan. “Why would he be embarrassed of you?” It didn’t make sense to him, not at all, because Wylan was so talented, so wonderful altogether that he couldn’t see why his father was thinking that way.
Wylan took a deep breath, grabbed the edge of the table to have something to hold onto. It wasn’t an easy topic for him, but he also knew that it didn’t make sense to keep it secret, especially because it would come out eventually.
“My father is Jan van Eck.” Slowly, he looked up, could see the recognition in Jesper’s eyes. It was a well-known name, a name associated with money, so that Wylan had run away from that was something nobody understood who didn’t know the whole story. “And he needs an heir to present to the public, someone who’s not dumb like me.”
“Wylan, you are anything but dumb.” Jesper couldn’t believe what he was hearing, stepped up to him and carefully put his hands on Wylan’s upper arms.
“Jesper, I can’t even read!” It came out louder than he’d wanted to, and it took everything in him to not turn around and bolt. It wouldn’t do any good, because he’d still have to face Jesper later on, so he could just stay here and face him, see the pity, the disgust in his eyes.
“Oh.” Nothing more came over his lips in the first moment, as Jesper tried to process what Wylan had just let him know. It didn’t really make sense at first, but then he realised the way Wylan had labelled his bottles, that he’d never written anything down except for musical notes. It didn’t change what kind of person he was, though, still endlessly fascinating for Jesper, with a warm and open heart. “That doesn’t make you dumb, Wylan.” He raised his right hand from Wylan’s upper arm, cupped his cheek to make him look up at him. “That doesn’t change who you are as a person and what you are capable of, alright. It doesn’t define you.” Just like his gambling addiction didn’t define him, didn’t make him a bad person.
“He thinks so, though.” For once, Wylan didn’t pull back and instead tilted his head a little into Jesper’s touch.
“Well, then he’s a goddamn idiot.” Jesper rolled his eyes, rubbed his thumb gently over Wylan’s cheek, enjoying the warmth that spread through his hand and along his arm. He grinned down at Wylan for a moment, before his expression softened again. “Is that… why he tried to get you killed?”
“Yeah.” Wylan bit his bottom lip, cast his eyes downward for a moment, before looking back up at Jesper, taken aback by the soft look, the slight worry in his eyes. “He tried to do that at home, and he sent people after me to get rid of me.”
“That explains even more why you were so scared and ran away when we met for the first time.” That time when Jesper had followed the melody Wylan had played, that had lured him in at that moment. Jesper only took his hand off Wylan’s cheek to pull him into his arms, wrapping them around his body to hold him close, even if just for a moment. “You’re safe with us, you know that, right? Crows watch out for each other.”
“Mhm,” Wylan mumbled against his chest, closing his eyes as his own arms wrapped loosely around Jesper. He knew that, felt it whenever he was around them, but Jesper elicited even more than that feeling of safety inside him. Right now, he gave in to the wish to be close to him, allowed himself to believe that he could have more of this, but he also knew that it was just a momentary state.That Jesper was comforting him, nothing more.
“Wylan.” Kaz’s voice rang through the room, making both of them almost jump apart. Their eyes locked for a moment and Jesper was surprised by the shy smile on his own lips, while Wylan looked once again like he’d been caught stealing. It was adorable really.
“Jesper, what are you doing here?” Kaz walked up to them, either ignoring what he’d just seen or he hadn’t seen it at all.
“I was just making sure Wylan had everything he needed. Checking if he needed some food or anything, boss.” Jesper took another step back to make room for Kaz.
“Inej is looking for you. Go through the plan with her once more, and then we’ll talk strategy tonight. It’s only two more days.”
“Right, boss.” He craned his neck to get another look at Wylan, smiling at him. “Tell me if you need anything.”
“Will do.” Though Wylan was rather sure that it was cleverer to stay away from Jesper or at least not be alone with him, because it was getting increasingly difficult to not just kiss him whenever he got close.
It was the evening before the contest, before they would set their plan into motion, and everyone was doing the last bits and pieces so that they were all set to get going. Jesper knew what his job was, knew what he had to do, but there was something or rather someone else on his mind that made him a little restless.
“He’s practising.” Inej shot him a look, before she returned her attention to her knives, putting them in order before she cleaned them once more.
“Hm?” Playing dumb, he looked at her, his heart skipping a beat at being caught like that.
“Oh you know who I’m talking about.” She rolled her eyes, took the first knife in hand. “Kaz will be gone a little longer. Take some water with you when you go to Wylan.”
While he wanted to protest, he knew that it didn’t make sense. Inej knew him better than anyone, had realised first that Wylan had caught Jesper’s interest, and she could completely understand why. So, instead of telling lies, he walked over to her to place a kiss on her head, before he grabbed some water and headed towards the room where Wylan was playing the piano. He’d caught glimpses of the music he made, had listened to the song his mother had taught him, and he’d felt like he’d been caught in some kind of spell. This time, though, it was a bit different.
When he neared the room, he could hear the music filtering into the hallway. At first, he thought it was just a pretty melody, but then he felt like he recognised it. His feet slowed when he got closer to the door, his heart already beating faster in his chest, as the realisation began to set in. He heard that angelic voice in his head, but also through the door. Maybe, Jesper had known it all along deep down, had been hoping for this, even though he didn’t believe in soulmates, but with Wylan, there was something between them, and that certainly explained why. Very carefully, because he didn’t want to startle Wylan, to make him stop playing, he opened the door. He needn’t have worried, because Wylan was so immersed in his music, in singing, that he would have probably not realised the whole crew stumbling into the room. Jesper felt his heart beat against his ribs, as if it wanted to break out of there and run right over to Wylan. His voice was so crisp and clear, soothing at the same time. It was the most beautiful sound Jesper had ever heard, a sound that filled him with joy, and a beat that made his heart follow it, only to end up right in Wylan’s hands. And Wylan didn’t even know about it, what kind of power his voice held over him.
“Knowing I have found… my home.” Wylan’s voice dropped at the end, while Jesper mouthed the line right along, knowing the lyrics, because he’d heard them before. In his head. But this, hearing it in person and with the melody that had been haunting him for weeks, months even, was something else. He’d never believed in soulmates, hadn’t wanted to believe in something like that, thinking that it made him vulnerable.
“Beautiful,” Jesper heard himself say out loud as he stepped up to the piano, not able to stay this far away from Wylan anymore right now. Wylan on the other hand, jumped a little, because he really hadn’t heard him come in. Eyes wide in mild shock, he looked at Jesper, turned a little on the piano bench. God, his hair always looked a little dishevelled, inviting Jesper to run his fingers through it, but right now, he knew that any sudden or unexpected movement would probably make Wylan scoot further away from him.
“I didn’t hear you come in. Need anything?” He felt vulnerable, not sure just how much Jesper had heard, because he might have inspired some of the lyrics in the song, and Wylan wasn’t ready to reveal that to him. But Jesper had a way of getting him to talk, like he’d proven in his little laboratory if he could call it that, and so Wylan knew that Jesper would probably get that out of him.
“No, just wanted to see if you were doing alright.” Placing the bottle of water next to the piano, Jesper gestured for Wylan to scoot over a little bit, and he followed. Slowly, he sat down on the bench next to Wylan, their thighs touching due to the limited room, and he felt Wylan’s warmth seep into his own skin, setting his heart aflutter. “You gonna play this song tomorrow?”
“That’s the plan.” Wylan kept his eyes on the piano keys, biting his bottom lip.
“I think it’s a wonderful choice.” Jesper raised his left hand, letting his ringed fingers slowly stroke over the white keys, pressing one down, then the next. He didn’t know how to play, but he would gladly watch Wylan do so, maybe even learn a bit from him so they could play together. “Kaz is right, your voice will blow them away.” Jesper cast a glance at Wylan, could see the corners of his mouth slowly turn up into a smile. “I’ve heard that melody before.”
“I played that on the flute when you saw me in that alley.”
“Yeah, it caught my attention, and I just had to follow that melody, see where it came from.” He pressed another piano key down, realised that Wylan’s hands joined his, and he started playing the melody quietly again. “But I heard it even before then. And then I heard it again and again.” he wanted Wylan to know, wanted to tell him, but it was difficult for him to say something like this out loud. In fact, telling him I think you’re my soulmate sounded really strange to him, and how could he be sure that it was the same for Wylan? Jesper had laughed often and loudly even with Wylan in the room, and there had never been any sort of recognition on his side as far as he could tell. Breaching the subject carefully, slowly, sounded better to him.
“What do you mean?” Wylan couldn’t really follow. Sure, Jesper might have heard the melody before that first kind of meeting, but afterwards… he’d played it a couple of times here, yes, but as far as he knew Jesper hadn’t listened to him play. Nina and Matthias, yes, but not Jesper. Except if he’d heard the piano in the hallway.
“I-”
“Jesper! I’m so sorry.” Inej burst into the room, knowing that she was maybe interrupting something here, that Jesper wanted to have this time with Wylan, but this couldn’t wait. “I would really like to give you some more time here, but there’s a change to our plan tomorrow, and we need to discuss that now. Kaz just got back.”
Perfect timing .
“Do you need me to come as well?” Wylan looked a little frazzled, but Inej’s smile soothed that a bit, made him settle back down.
“No, you can just keep playing. Nothing’s gonna change for you.”
“Alright.” Jesper heaved a sigh as he got up from the bench, giving Wylan’s hand a soft squeeze in parting, because he just couldn’t resist doing that. “Talk later?”
“Yes.” Wylan managed to smile up at him, his heart and his head still spinning a little bit, trying to make sense out of Jesper’s words, but not really successful at doing so.
But later never came. At least not like that. Of course, they all sat together, talked, enjoyed their food, and laughed together, but there was no chance for them to talk alone and pick up their conversation again. They exchanged glances, a lot of them, but when it got late, Kaz sent them all to bed, as if they were children that needed to be reminded when their bed-time was. As for Wylan, he really wanted him to get enough sleep and get ready for his performance the next day. He could have sworn that Kaz was standing guard in front of his door so that nobody disturbed his sleep. Still, even with nobody knocking on his door, Wylan needed some time to fall asleep, mulling the conversation he’d had with Jesper over and over in his head.
The day had finally come and everybody knew what their jobs were. They only managed to have a quick breakfast together before everybody had to go their way, which left Wylan with Kaz. They went over the plan once more, Kaz listened to him play and sing, and Wylan could have sworn that he saw something akin to a smile on his lips when he finished the song. It was probably because Kaz was so sure of his plan working out. Once this was done, he sent Wylan to get changed. It was a mix of his own clothes - the suspenders for example were Wylan’s, as was the white shirt that had gotten a good wash - and something Kaz had gotten for him, like the new shoes and the bowtie. Jesper’s coat that now belonged to Wylan completed the look when they left the building.
“You’re gonna do great, Wylan. You have to believe in yourself a little more.” Kaz didn’t look at him when they stepped up to Rollins’ club later on, but he knew that he meant what he was saying. And he was right, Wylan really needed to believe in himself when he wanted to make this work. He’d been working on that, but what had really helped build his confidence, had been the people around him. Matthias who watched out for him and made sure that nothing happened to him, Nina who always took care that he ate enough, who listened to him talk, and told him the most wonderful stories. Inej who had looked at him in awe the first time she’d heard him play. Kaz who’d taken him under his wing, and who’d put him in this contest confident enough that Wylan could win against anyone who was competing. And then Jesper. Jesper who made his heart beat faster, his stomach do one somersault after the other with merely existing. They all treated him like one of them, like he belonged into their little found family. He had to do this, had to win this for them.
“Brekker, you really think you have a chance?” Pekka Rollins sneered, looking from Kaz to Wylan and back. If it weren’t for Kaz, Wylan would feel intimidated, but Kaz stood like a shield between them.
“I wouldn’t be here if I weren’t sure of that, Rollins.” Kaz leaned forward onto his cane, getting into Rollins’ space for a moment, before he pulled back again.
“I know you’re onto something.”
“If you find out what that is, let me know. I’m just here to win your little contest and annoy the hell out of you with that.” It was definitely enough to rile Pekka Rollins up, he knew that, but he also knew that he would keep an eye out for everyone else on Kaz's team.
Wylan didn’t understand what Rollins was mumbling into his beard, and it was probably better this way. He needed to concentrate on the contest - and on not getting intimidated by the sheer size of the crowd.
“You’ll do fine, don’t worry.” Kaz seemed to sense what was going through Wylan’s mind, or maybe he picked up on his slightly fidgety hands. Whatever it was, it managed to soothe Wylan a little bit.
Kaz seemed to be completely at ease here, ignoring Pekka Rollins’ eyes that darted to him again and again. He only took a look at his watch every now and then, applauded the contestants, until it was time for them to head behind the stage to get Wylan ready. Kaz took the coat off him and looked him over once more.
“Show them what you’re made of.” Kaz nodded at him, before he sent him onto the stage.
Wylan’s heart was beating so fast, he thought everyone would hear it, that it might just hop out of his body and run away. But that was something he wouldn’t do in person. Not when everyone was counting on him to do his part. And so, he settled down on the piano, closed his eyes for a moment and thought of the people he was doing that for. Slowly, but surely, a smile appeared on his lips. A smile that widened when his thoughts stopped on Jesper. On the way he looked at him, the way his hands felt against his skin. And so, with that in mind, thinking of Jesper, he started playing.
He played his heart out, the lyrics all the more meaningful because he was thinking about the one person who made the place he was in now a home for him. Everyone had done their part in this, had made him feel welcome, but it was Jesper who had an effect on him that he couldn’t put into words. It felt like an eternity and a fraction of a second at the same time until he was finished. The last notes died down and Wylan opened his eyes to look at the crowd, and all of a sudden, he realised that they were clapping, getting up from their seats, yelling his praise. It was overwhelming, and yet, someone was missing to celebrate this. He knew that this was just their cover, but it still felt like a huge accomplishment for him, that he wanted to share with the others.
“How are you feeling?” Kaz asked him when he stepped down from the stage and they could go back to their table.
“I… feel like my whole body is buzzing.” Wylan couldn’t stop smiling as he sat down.
“I’m really proud of you.” And those were the last words Kaz said to him, making him beam. It filled his heart with joy that he felt that way, that he had played his part well. In the end, it didn’t matter whether Wylan would win or not, because the others were hopefully successful as well.
Still, Kaz and him had to stay until the end of the contest, until they called out the winner, and Wylan tried not to get antsy. He had only been the man in the background now and then, not part of the actual plan, so he had no idea whether they communicated in between or not. Kaz on the other hand seemed to be as cool as always, but that could just be facade. Wylan couldn’t know, and so they sat and waited - until Wylan was called up as the winner of the contest.
He needed a moment to realise that it was really his name being called, and Kaz had to nudge him with his cane to get him to stand up. A little shaky on his legs, he walked up to the stage to accept his prize, give a little thank you, because he wasn’t able to do or say more, and then the party was on. Just the right time for Kaz and him to get away, right? Wylan made his way down the stage and over to Kaz again, offering him the envelope with the money.
“This is yours, Wylan. Keep it.”
“But you-”
“No, it’s all yours. You did the work and won with your song.”
“Kaz.”
Both of them turned, a little surprised and at the same time alarmed when they saw Inej. The look on her face was rather telling.
“What’s going on?” Kaz looked her over, seeing no injuries on her, he allowed himself to breathe. Wylan on the other hand felt his stomach drop.
“We did it, don’t worry.” But deep down, she knew that it wasn’t the job he was worried about. It was what she wasn’t telling him straight away.
“Let’s get out.” Kaz lead the way, watching out the Pekka didn’t catch a glimpse of them, because he knew that he would let someone follow them, and Kaz really didn’t want or need that to happen.
“Speak,” Kaz said as soon as they were far away from the club, already on their way to the Crow Club, to their home.
“It’s Jesper. He fell and hit his head.” Inej cast a quick glance at Wylan before looking at Kaz again. Wylan’s heart sank, his throat felt like someone was squishing it together, making it hard for him to breath, but he had to keep up with them.
“How is he doing?”
“He’ll be fine, that’s what the doc said.” Before Kaz could reprimand her, she added: “No, we didn’t take him to the hospital. He’s got a bump on his head and needs some rest, and his wrist is hurt.”
“So, no major injuries. He’ll be fine.”
“Yes.” Inej looked at Wylan once more, hanging back behind Kaz so she could take Wylan’s hand, squeeze it in encouragement. “He really will be fine, okay? Some rest will do the trick, he just needs someone to watch over him, so that he doesn’t get up if there is no need.”
“Okay. I’ll do that.” Wylan didn’t even have to think about it. He wouldn’t be able to sit still or sleep at all anyway, so he’d much rather stay with Jesper, watching out for him.
When they got there, Wylan realised that he hadn’t been in Jesper’s room before. Jesper had been in his at the very beginning, but apart from that not at all. Wylan cast a look around, the bottle of water in his right hand. There were clothes strewn around, but it didn’t look messy like that, instead, that made the room all the more cosier. It showed that someone was living here who had a thing for nice clothes, who had maybe a bit too many clothes to fit into the closet. Wylan had to smile to himself as he approached the bed and pulled up a chair so he could sit down.
“Hey,” Jesper said as he opened his eyes, needing a moment to focus on Wylan, his voice a little gruff, because he’d just woken up.
“Hey… go back to sleep. You need it.” Wylan put the bottle down and scooted a bit closer to the bed. When Jesper reached for his hand, Wylan’s eyes widened a little, but he didn’t pull back. Apparently, he needed that kind of contact as well to be sure that Jesper was okay. That it was only a small injury that would heal in no time.
“Don’t wanna sleep. Not when I can talk to you instead.” There it was, that winning smile that Wylan loved to see on him, that always managed to elicit that fluttering feeling inside him.
“And here I was told that you need to rest.”
“I can rest later.” He pulled Wylan a bit closer by his hand, still smiling up at him as he placed Wylan’s hand on his chest, right above his heart, covering it with his own hand to keep it there.
“What happened?” Wylan asked quietly, feeling the warmth from Jesper’s chest seep into his hand, feeling his heart beat rapidly, just like his own. It felt like they were beating in sync.
“Well… I got a little distracted. Things like that happen.” Jesper squeezed his hand, not wanting to think about it, or tell him outright just why he got distracted, though he had a feeling that it would come out one way or another. “I heard you sing. You sounded even more beautiful than yesterday.”
“That’s… thank you.” Wylan cast his eyes down, trying to hide the blush on his cheeks, when something hit him and he looked back up at Jesper. “Wait, how could you hear me? You weren’t anywhere near.” It didn’t make sense, not at all.
“That’s what I was trying to tell you yesterday.” Jesper slowly tried to sit up, but Wylan was quick to push him back into the pillows. Jesper seized that moment to pull him into the bed, so that he could sit there. Normally, Wylan would protest, get up again, but with Jesper, he couldn’t, didn’t even want to, because being close to him like this soothed something deep inside him.
“What?” he asked quietly, his thumb beginning to stroke over his chest, the hand still caught against it by Jesper.
“I hear you sing even when you’re not in the same room. It started months ago, but it was only humming, that same melody over and over again. And then I heard your voice, but only those two lines.” Jesper pressed his lips together, looking down at their joined hands on his chest. Wylan had to feel how quick and hard his heart was beating for him, but he didn’t care. In fact, he wanted him to know. “Yesterday, it finally clicked and I realised that it was you all along. That I heard you. I didn’t hear your laughter, but something equally beautiful.” Slowly he raised Wylan’s hand to his lips to press a soft kiss to his palm.
Wylan’s heart skipped a few beats at the realisation. He’d been hoping for this, for Jesper being that person for him, that it wasn’t just one-sided. Now, it made sense that there hadn’t been any recognition on Jesper’s face when he’d heard Wylan laugh. It seemed to be different for him. While Wylan had heard his laughter, Jesper had heard his singing, something equally personal, especially with the lyrics being about him by now.
“Can you please… say something? I’m really not good with silences.”
“I heard you, too. Your laughter.” Wylan eventually looked up and into Jesper’s eyes. “I just didn’t think you’d heard me in any way, so… I was scared to say anything.” He shook his head a little, still a little dazed that this was really happening, that there was a reason why Jesper hadn’t reacted to his laughter. “But you… your laughter really got me through some terrible days and nights.” Not only because he’d heard it now and then, but more because he’d been able to remember it, think of it and realise that there was someone out there. Someone who would probably love him for who he was, not judge him for the things he couldn’t do. With Jesper, he already knew that he didn’t judge him, that he was looking past these imperfections.
“And I will make sure that you won’t have any of these horrible days and nights anymore or at least sit through them with you.” Because he knew that some nights could be terrible no matter where you were, so he would sit by Wylan’s side, hold him in his arms, and do whatever he needed. He wouldn’t let him go anymore, that was for sure.
“Will you just-” he started, but couldn’t finish the sentence because of the most wonderful of reasons: Wylan’s lips finally on his own. Jesper felt like his heart would explode, and it was the same for Wylan in that moment, whose gentle fingers stroked over Jesper’s cheek, while the other one was still on his chest. Meanwhile Jesper managed to pull him close and half on top of him, needing him as close as possible right now.
“You think that’s wise?” Wylan whispered against his lips, trying to push himself up a little bit so that his weight wasn’t completely on Jesper. He was still hurt after all.
“Mhm.. very wise.” Jesper kissed him again, held him close as he let go of the hand against his chest and pushed his fingers into the soft strands of Wylan’s hair - something he’d been dying to do ever since laying eyes on him. A soft moan landed in the kiss, opening up Wylan’s lips so Jesper could softly lick into his mouth, wrapping his arm around him a little tighter.
Wylan’s head was spinning, it was the most wonderful feeling, and he couldn’t keep his hands to himself, let his fingertips trail over Jesper’s cheek, his neck, down to his chest, the little patch of skin left bare where his shirt was unbuttoned. It still felt a bit surreal, but the way Jesper held onto him, held him tight against his own body, made it clear that this was really happening and not something he’d conjured up.
When their lips parted, neither of them could stop smiling. As much as they enjoyed this, they both knew that they needed some rest, Jesper even more so than Wylan, and since he was here to watch out for Jesper, make sure that he got said rest, he pulled back a bit more, earning him a grunt from Jesper, who immediately tried to pull him back.
“I’m not going anywhere, don’t worry. But you need some sleep.”
“Boring.” Jesper sank back into the pillows and gave a sigh.
“Tell you what, I’ll lie down with you and we can both get some sleep, okay?”
“That does sound rather tempting.” Now, Jesper really did pull him back, kept his arm wrapped around him as Wylan cuddled up to his side, placed his hand on Jesper’s sternum. “Maybe, you could sing something to me? Just for me this time?”
Wylan lifted his head to look at him, a fond smile on his lips, as his heart beat a little faster again. “Of course.”
Jesper turned his head to the side to kiss his forehead, realising how tired he really was, how much his head hurt, now that they were both getting comfortable like this. Now that he had the man who’d captured his heart by his side. And when Wylan began to sing quietly for him, he knew that he’d arrived. He hadn’t known that he’d still been on some kind of journey, but now, here in his room, with Wylan by his side, he was finally, finally home.
Jesper Fahey may not have believed in soulmates a couple of weeks ago, but Wylan had shown him just how wrong he’d been.