Work Text:
The sound of voices traveled up the stone of the chimney, a low murmur, more subdued than usual, riding the gentle waves of heat pulsing out into the attic. The cold of the winter winds seeped as it could through the walls, but could never quite conquer the warmth coming off the chimney stones. Outside, the moon shone bright and blind, silver reflecting off the layers of snow on the roof, only adding to the golden glow of the oil lamp in the corner, fire light flickering over wood.
Jensen sat with his legs folded under himself, his saber's head resting on his lap and worry eating away at his heart. Jared was naked but covered by a blanket draped up over his waist, his necklace gripped in one hand, and Jensen's palm traveled repeatedly over the fertile's hair, smoothing it as he spoke.
"Please, lovely, you must shift," Jensen murmured.
Jared shook his head stubbornly though, quick and determined, like a willful child. He burrowed down a little further, his other hand tightening and clinging to Jensen's pants. His brow shone in the light, covered in a thin sheen of sweat, and the glow traveled over his skin, glancing off of his cheekbones. His eyelids were lowered, lashes fluttering against the paled flesh, his breath coming quicker than it had before.
It did nothing to settle the anxiety in Jensen's belly.
"Sweet one, please. It's time. You need to shift. It's been two hours..." Jensen glanced down his fertile's long body, and moved one hand to rest on the low swell of his belly. The kittens had dropped down only a few days earlier -- a whole week after their expected date of arrival, and four days after Helena had given birth to her litter. That week had done Jared no favors. As concerned as he'd been before, when the labor's date came and went, he'd been beside himself, certain that something was wrong. Jensen had done what he could to comfort, but even he had been debating the merits of visiting a doctor, perhaps under the purview of the mayor and the silence of his sheriffs.
As much as Jensen loved his unborn kittens, he wouldn't risk Jared's health for anything.
But the worry turned out to be for naught -- a few hours earlier, while the two of them were down with the rest of the pride by the fire, Jared had finally gone into labor, giving a jerky cry of pain that had set Jensen's heart thumping. It had taken some effort to get Jared up the stairs and into the attic, but the saber was adamant on his privacy on the best of days, and Jensen couldn't imagine that the human-raised fertile would be comfortable giving birth in public, given how squeamish he was about even going naked on pride ground.
Of course, that didn't stop the pride from staying up in anticipation, talking amongst themselves as they waited for word of their regna's birthing.
Not that Jensen would be able to tell them much, if Jared didn't shift soon. The labor should have been almost over by now, but the fertile was stubbornly clinging to his human form, and Jensen's gentle urgings were soon going to turn to desperate pleading and possibly some panicked shaking in a moment.
The blankets under them were wet with birth fluid and pinkish blood, and Jensen had never thought it was impossible for a fertile to give birth in their shifted form, but more because he'd never stopped to consider it. Just as heat forced a fertile into their true form, so did labor. That was simply how it was, and Jensen had never though on the particulars of it until now. Jared's body may have had all the facilities it needed to deliver like this, but he was spending all his energy fighting his instincts, instead of pushing.
"Jared... Love--"
"Jensen, so help me god, do not call me another pet name. Just get the goddamned kittens out of me."
"Jared," Jensen huffed, frustrated. "I cannot. You need to shift. You have to shift. The kittens are ready, lov--...They're ready. You need to shift for them, please."
Jared shook his head again, insistent.
"No."
"Why?"
"I want to--... I want to hold them. I have to hold them when they're born. That's what you do."
"That's what they do," Jensen retorted, and there was no doubt as to who 'they' were. He failed to keep his aggravation out of his voice this time, but he was too worried now to handle the situation with delicacy. "We give birth to our kittens and set them up to nurse. You can't properly nurse like this, Jared. You can't nurse, and you can't deliver, and you're hurting yourself and the kittens by doing this!"
It was a bit of a low blow. Jensen recognized that. But he was scared damnit, and Jared clearly wasn't in his right mind. The fear and panic surrounding labor, amplified by the pain, was making him cling to the familiar, to comfort, even when that comfort could well be killing his kittens and hurting himself more. And Jensen was running out of ideas of what to do.
Jared just lay there, eyes open and ahead, breathing hard. He took in a few quick little pants and whined, shifting his legs in pain, his cubs ready to come out but trapped by Jared's body. Jensen winced.
"Jared..." He reached down, as tenderly as he could, taking his fertile's chin and turning his face to look up at him. He'd been trying for two hours now. He didn't know what else to offer, so instead, he asked. "...what can I do?"
Jared stared up at him, biting his lips. His hazel eyes darted away, seeming to think, and he swallowed.
"I..."
Jensen stayed quiet, hopeful and resting on his mate's words.
"Can I--"
"Anything," he supplied.
"I think... I want--..." Jared rolled onto his side, curling up. "You'll be mad."
Jensen let out a heavy breath and restrained the urge to yell. He set his hand on Jared's shoulder, squeezing it firmly. He felt a vague apprehension now, like Jared was going to ask him to drive him down to the hospital, which was impossible for a number of reasons, not the least being that the two hour drive would be too long now, and too likely to make the whole situation worse.
Or like Jared was going to ask something even more extreme -- like that maybe he wanted to go home to his family and take the cubs with him.
Jensen swallowed.
"Let me know, my saber. Let me know, and I'll do it. I promise. Please... Just--... I need you to be okay." And that was the plain truth. Even if Jared asked Jensen to let him go, to take their children, Jensen would give it to him. So long as his Dawnbringer was safe. So long as he could know that Jared was out there somewhere, whole and happy.
Jared swallowed, glanced up at Jensen, then away.
"I... Can... Can Jeff come up here?"
And Jensen totally didn't mean to, but he barked out a short huff of fresh laughter, unable not to with the ridiculous relief washing through his system like a shock. Because Jared had him expecting something awful.
The fertile was looking at him like he'd gone mad.
"Of course, of course he can." Jensen glanced up, over at the hatch that was cracked open, Brutus on the landing and waiting. "Brutus!" he called to his cousin.
A second later, the beta's head appeared, pushing the hatch up as he glanced in curiously, eyes doing a quick sweep of the room, obviously looking for the kittens that weren't there.
"Go and get Jeffrey," Jensen ordered, and smiled a little to himself when he saw his cousin glance to Jared for confirmation, waiting for the regna to nod before the beta vanished again. In the meantime, Jensen looked back down at his mate, sweeping sweaty bangs aside gently.
"Why would you think that wanting Jeffrey here would make me mad?" he couldn't help but ask.
"I dunno..." Jared shrugged, but it was clear he did know, because he continued. "It's just... You know, me asking for some other guy to be in here with me... I thought you'd be mad or upset or something."
"Jared, we are pride. Family. It is perfectly normal for you to want others here when you birth. As alpha, I have been present for more than half the birthings during my reign, even when I'm not related. I have delivered many litters. Our people enjoy the company of one another. The company of family. Of course you'd want more comfort here, and Jeff is close with all the fertile. Many ask for him to be present." There was nothing about the request that struck Jensen as strange, except that Jared would think it would upset him.
The saber seemed to relax a little at that, as if he honestly thought that Jensen would be jealous or some such.
Even with all his reading and his scholarship, Jensen still found himself confused by what humans seemed to consider normal.
"Everything alright up here?" Jeff's voice interrupted, his head poking up through the hatch, standing on the ladder from the landing. He was looking over at Jared with his usual aloof expression, but Jensen could see the concern there.
"He won't shift," Jensen replied before Jared could, and Saul'hrao would forgive him for the slight exasperation that he couldn't quite keep out of his voice.
"Ah." Jeff's voice was gruff and settled, and he smirked as if it were a trivial problem. He crawled up through the hatch, lowering it to sit barely open, as it had before. The older ailure began to strip off his shirts, laying them over in a corner of the room. "Well, let's see if we can fix that, hmm? How you doing, kiddo?"
"Hurts," Jared replied, his tone and demeanor changing, somehow younger and almost petulant -- like a child with a parent finally here to hear him complain, and it was clear that Jeffrey was exactly what was needed in this situation.
"Yeah?" Jeff responded conversationally, undoing the fastener on his pants but leaving them on, leaning over to remove the thick wool socks he was wearing. He made his way over then, crouching down, elbows resting on his thighs. He reached down, running rough fingers through Jared's hair. "That's to be expected. You're not making it better though, holding out like this."
Jared didn't say anything, just frowned, like he could somehow change reality if he was stubborn enough.
"How 'bout we shift together, then?" Jeff continued, pulling his hand back. "That sound fair?"
Jared paused, and Jensen just about held his breath, only letting it out when his mate nodded, apparently amenable to that. The beta turned his head up to look at Jensen.
"You got the rest?" he asked, checking.
"Of course," Jensen replied, very gently setting Jared's head down on the blankets. He backed off as Jeff moved in, the alpha making his way around to Jared's feet -- to ready himself to handle the birth, when Jared (hopefully) shifted.
"C'mon now," Jeff murmured encouragingly. "You're giving our alpha fits."
"I know, it's just--"
"Enough," Jeff said, but his voice was too soothing to be harsh, and his hand cupped the back of Jared's head. "It's long past time we got those cubs out of you, don't you think?"
"...yeah," Jared replied, with a nervous nod. "It's just--...God, I'm so scared, Jeff. I'm so--" His body was racked with another contraction, and he curled in a little tighter.
"You got a lot to figure out," the beta replied, so calm, and Jensen didn't know how he could be so calm. Jensen was used to being in charge, used to handling things, but this was different. This was his mate and his children, his family. He couldn't be objective here.
And he had to admit that his half panicked pleadings hadn't really been helping the situation.
"It's just like what we talked about before, remember?" Jeff asked, his hand still smoothing over Jared's hair. "There's a lot of stuff you gotta figure out, and I know. I know you're scared. But we're here. Everyone downstairs? They're waiting for news. Waiting to hear about these kittens of yours."
"What if everything goes wrong...?"
"What if everything goes right?"
Jared laughed, shaking his head.
"What if I'm just as scared of that?" the fertile got out on a breath, looking up and Jensen felt a thick guilt in his gut, sinking low, because he knew, he knew Jared was still so young. Still just figuring things out, and the gods above knew he had a lot to figure out, and Jensen so easily forgot that. That Jensen was here and ready to have a family, to be a father, while Jared was still just becoming an adult himself.
He wanted to speak up then, to say something, but there was a reason that Jared had asked for Jeff, and Jensen was aware enough to know that he and Jared's issues came packaged, these days. They were mates -- part of each other, and their joys as well as their problems were too intertwined to ever look at objectively.
But Jeff could.
"Well, that's something you're just gonna have to deal with, kiddo," the beta responded, simple as that. "I know you're scared, but right now you're already halfway down the river and at the edge of the falls. There's no backing out now. You just gotta go over and see how it all lands."
Jared swallowed, eyes darting back and forth, uncertain, his brow furrowed, but after a heartbeat, he nodded, a fearful acquiescence.
Jeff smiled then, and moved back, standing up to remove his pants and shifting into his true form, massive and dark, padding back over to Jared. He butted their heads together, and Jared let out a breath, letting the shift take him, shivery and quick, and Jensen almost cried when he finally saw the silver and gold fur, after pleading with Jared for so long.
It didn't take long after that at all.
Jared had been well into labor, ready to give birth and holding back for the last two hours. Almost immediately after the shift, Jared let out a yowl, his body convulsing as all his muscles tensed and he started to push. Jensen pulled the blanket off while Jeff lay down against Jared's back, lazily licking the side of the fertile's neck to calm him. Jensen made hushing noises as he stroked Jared's flank, glancing down to watch his mate's body work, heavy stomach tense with effort.
Jensen had delivered plenty of litters before, as he'd claimed. He knew perfectly well what he was doing.
But this was Jared, and the memories of Tristan and his siblings didn't die easily, not until the first kitten was pushed from Jared's body and into Jensen's waiting hands, plump and healthy, wriggling in the birth sac. It wasn't breathing yet, but that was normal, and Jensen was laughing with joy as he gently pulled the sac away, lifting a thin cloth to gently clear his child's airways, watching it take its first hiccuping breath. As soon as it had air in its lungs, it began to call -- tiny, sharp mewls of distress, perfect and whole.
Jensen held it in his bloody hands and smiled, rubbing it tenderly to get the blood flowing as it cried, disoriented and blind but unharmed.
'What is it?' Jared asked desperately, raising his head. 'Is it okay? Is it hurt?'
"It's perfect, Jared," Jensen reassured, rubbing the worst of the blood and fluid from the cub's wet coat -- still too damp to tell the color, but it seemed more towards the warm tones of a cougar, though with the darker markings of a saber. "Healthy and perfect. You did amazing, lovely."
Jared let out a breath, but continued to strain to see his kitten, and Jensen knew it was normal, especially for a first time mother. He lowered the kitten to the blankets, depositing it in the lee of Jared's body, watching lovingly as his child twisted and squirmed, confused and out in the world for the first time. Jared leaned in to bath it, instinct overcoming whatever human distain he might have, and the kitten mewled loudly at the strange sensation that would soon become as familiar as the air to it.
Its cries ceased when it finally found a teat, suckling inexpertly as Jared lay flat again, breathing hard as he started to push once more.
Barely forty minutes later, three kittens were wriggling around against Jared's stomach, and Jensen's mate was still, breathing slowing as his body seemed to relax. He was too tired to inspect further, and after having glanced down to make sure everything was alright, he'd gone boneless against the blankets, his body finally giving him a respite.
Jensen had been through enough labors to know it was over, but he stayed for fifteen more minutes anyways, gently petting his mate's coat and waiting just in case, watching for any other signs of pain or trouble. While he sat there, he couldn't look anywhere but at the three kittens, all of them big for newborns, having stayed in their mother a week longer than expected. There wasn't a thing wrong with them that Jensen could see, and the final, prayed for dissolution of that on-going fear made him feel heady, like he might just pass out from the bliss of relief.
The knowledge that his family was safe and whole.
That nothing was wrong, and never had been.
"You did so good," he murmured, when he'd cleaned his hands and come to settle by his mate's head. Jared was awake, but barely, his eyes open and unfocused. To Jensen's side there was the sound of soft mewls and fervent suckling, and it eased his heart. He reached out, brushing his knuckles over the soft fur of Jared's cheek. "You amaze me..."
Jared blinked blearily, eyes sliding to Jensen, and the alpha shushed him softly.
"It's okay... Rest now. Everything is fine." From here, Jensen could take it. From here, he could take the load, and give his mate some respite. Jared had delivered the kittens into Jensen's waiting hands, had carried them and borne them and done everything that Jensen could not, and all Jensen could do was wait and support. But now they were here, out in the world, and Jensen would devote his life to protecting and caring for this fertile, and this fertile's children, and he would do so without complaint.
He would make it a world that Jared could finally be happy in.
His fingers curled gently under the saber's chin, scratching softly through the fur, and Jared's eyes pressed shut, laying back against the blankets. Jeff placed his huge head protectively over the fertile's neck.
"You got him?" Jensen asked, looking at the beta.
'Of course,' Jeff replied easily, dark brown eyes looking up. 'Where are you going?'
"Everyone will be waiting to hear the news," Jensen replied, pushing himself to his feet. "To know that Jared is alright. And the cubs..."
The alpha turned his head, looking down at the kittens, so amazingly small in the scheme of things, and too young to tell the gender yet, but Jensen had made out the slightly stiff line of fur of the backs of their necks when he'd held them: three gorgeous little dominants, and perhaps they would grow saber fangs, proud and rare, like the ancestors of their mother. From the Skybreaker blood that ran in their veins.
Jensen smiled, and couldn't have contained the expression if he'd tried.
"I'll be back," he said simply as he hurried over to the hatch, lifting it up, and he didn't want to be parted from his family for very long at all. He descended the first few steps of the ladder and paused, looking back over the floor.
Jared was already asleep, chest rising and falling steadily, Jeff's body protectively around him. The room was warm and quiet, suffused with the glow of the oil lamp and the light of life, newly born and safely delivered, and Jensen drank it in, let it ease those last few dark places inside of him, heal over wounds that would scar but be little else than that: reminders of something precious lost and never forgotten, but, perhaps, let go.
Reminders that firmed a promise in him, that made certain he would never forget just how sacred a gift the gods had given him.
A saber fertile, the last in all the world, and his litter.
Jensen's chest felt so full he scarcely thought he could breath, and it was an effort to fill his lungs, and it was perhaps a good thing that he was stepping back and taking a moment with the pride, else he'd be across the room and waking his mate up just to tell him what this meant to him. How deeply it marked him.
Jensen suspected that Jared would be less than touched to be roused now, no matter how poetic Jensen's declarations would be, and the alpha smiled to himself, descending the steps of the ladder and shutting the hatch behind him.
Even so, he couldn't wait to return and look over his mate and children, take in their newly born scents until each one was indelibly imprinted in his mind.
Until he knew them by scent and love alone.