break up to make up

by ardoramor

Summary:

Nikolai and Brandon patch things up.

Or, Nikolai reminds Brandon who he belongs to.

Notes:

Hi! Another supposed to be short fic turned long 😭 Did A LOT of research for this one.. I really have a thing for mean Niko omg 👀

This is inspired by chapter 33 of gof! We get to see into Bran’s head and how he imagines gravitating towards Niko if Niko hadn’t shown up at his parents’ house. (“I would’ve pretended to have pride, then crushed it to pieces and sprinted toward him.”) So I thought what if… lol.

This is canon divergence but I hope you guys enjoy it! Happy holidays 💓

BRANDON

 

I shouldn’t be here, I think for the hundredth time.

I watch as the bodies of people sway and dance across the room. The music is loud and dirty. There are people dancing and grinding everywhere. Mostly in large groups, but some are in pairs and they’re grinding like they’re having sex with clothes on. They’re against the walls. On top of tables. Even on the floor. I can see a girl straddling a guy and I’m not sure if they’re actually not having sex from the way her skirt keeps rising.

The different strobe lights give me a headache until I have no choice but to get accustomed to them. As I look around, I realize just how crazy everything is. The Heathens really go all out for parties.

I blink when a girl high as a kite gets on a table and screams to the music as she takes her top off, swirling it around in a circle over her head. The crowd around her goes crazy as they watch her breasts jiggle at her movements.

“So this is your scene, huh?” Someone yells besides me.

I turn towards Noah with a sheepish look. “It’s really not,” I say honestly.

“Huh?” He asks as he leans in, the music too loud for him to hear me.

I lean in closer. “It’s not!” I yell.

He laughs, throwing his head back. “There’s no shame in it,” he yells back with a teasing grin.

I can’t help but smile at his easy-going nature.

Noah is known for being a very chill and outgoing person. He likes to go with the flow more times than not. He’s friendly and is invited to every party. Or as he likes to claim— he is the party. But most importantly, he’s a great teammate. We’re in the lacrosse team together and he’s one of the few players that really gives it their all at each game.

I was with Cecily at a gift shop when we crossed paths. Turns out he was coming to this party too and he was kind enough to give us a ride. I didn’t miss the loaded looks that Cecily gave us from the backseat as I laughed at his jokes.

Ever since I came out to my friends, they’ve been worried. They know about Niko and how things officially ended between us after he kidnapped Lan. They’ve been making it their goal to take me out and not leave me alone for long. Sometimes they try to set me up with different guys at the bar we go to, but I catch on too quickly and stop their plans on their tracks.

They’re trying to help me move on. I really wish it was that easy.

But it’s not.

I ran away. I left school for two weeks. Staying here was hard when all I wanted to do was run to Niko. I wanted to go to his penthouse and forget my morals and pride for him. It was getting harder to stop myself from doing that. So I thought I needed distance to get him out of my head, but it only made things worse. The second I got to my parent’s house, it felt like I left a piece of myself behind. I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

And then he started calling.

More than 20 times each day. And the messages he would send after each missed call weren’t any better. He pleaded with me to tell him where I was, to pick up his calls, to respond to his messages. He went from pleading messages to angry messages, reminding me that I belong to him, that he’ll find me, and all the crazy antics he’ll do if I let someone else touch me.

I know I should’ve blocked him, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I would hover my finger over the green button each time he called, but not answer. I would read his messages every day like a junkie, but not reply.

It was a mess.

Leaving didn’t help, so I came back.

And of course, I somehow end up here again. In his mansion. But how was I supposed to say no to Mia when she invited me?

“Everyone’s going Bran, please!” She pleads again. She’s still using her hands to sign her words. “Things are better with Niko and Lan.”

I give her a look.

“I’m serious!” she exclaims, nodding her head enthusiastically. “And the only way to force them to keep that up is to make them get used to each other's presence.” It’s not a horrible idea. “I invited everyone Lan’s close to and they said yes. How come you won’t come?” She asks with big eyes.

I sigh. If Lan and Niko are starting to get along, probably for Mia’s sake, I don’t think my presence will help.

“Please!” Mia pleads again.

I battle with myself for a few seconds before I sigh reluctantly. “Okay, if you feel like that’ll help,” I say slowly with a forced smile. “I’ll be there.”

“Yes!” She cheers happily, giving me a hug that I quickly return.

How was I supposed to say no to her without exposing the truth? She doesn’t know about me and her brother. And if she knew, I’m sure Lan would know. Those two share everything with each other now. I never thought I would see my brother be that way with anyone, but I’m happy for him. Still, it’s better to not tell Mia. Everyone’s been very secretive and quiet about me and Niko. My friends wouldn’t tell my brother about it or he would go crazy. Lan’s been busy with Mia, but he always checks up on me. Recently, each time I see him, he makes sure to check my surroundings as if expecting someone to be hiding somewhere from him. He can be so weird sometimes.

“Where’d you go?” Noah screams at me over the music, a grin on his face. “I lost you there for a second.”

His grin is contagious and I return a small one of my own. “Sorry,” I yell back.

“You need to get out of your head,” he responds loudly. “I’m getting you a drink.”

I’m about to tell him that he doesn’t have to, that it’s okay, but he’s already leaving and making his way to the kitchen. I watch him go and I can’t help but throw a curious look at his back. Maybe Cecily was right? Maybe Noah is flirting with me? I don’t know for sure. I don’t really participate in any of that. But she warned me as soon as we stepped into the mansion.

She pulled me aside when people started flocking towards Noah, telling him hi and giving him hugs. He’s flirting with you. Have fun. Even if it leads nowhere, enjoy yourself and live in the moment. It’s okay to let go once in a while!

I repeat her words in my head. I hate letting go. Keeping my control is what I need more than anything. But maybe she’s right…

A drink appears in front of my face. “Here you go,” Noah yells. “Good shit!”

I grab the drink and nod my thanks to him. I watch the way he pushes his short, blonde hair back and I wish it was dark and long instead. I blink at the thought and shake my head. That’s so rude.

“Thank you,” I say loudly before I take a sip of the drink. I cough instantly from how strong it is. Noah chuckles beside me and pats my back softly, his touch lingering there. I blink and take another sip. I gulp at the way he circles his hand on the top of my back before he puts his arm over my shoulders. He’s standing incredibly close and I can smell him. He smells… wrong. The arm he has around me feels wrong.

I’m trying to make sense of how everything feels wrong when I see him.

I didn’t notice I was looking around the room in the first place. I wasn’t actively seeking him out or anything. I was just checking every area that my eyes could land on, scanning through all the people in the party. I was trying to take everything in, that’s all. It wasn’t because I was looking for him.

I was not looking for him.

But right now, I really wish that I hadn’t seen him at all.

I watch with a blank expression as he sits on a small couch with his legs spread out. There are a lot of people surrounding him, wanting every bit of his attention. But there’s one person that wants it more. Simon.

He’s on Niko’s lap, gyrating his hips to the music. I grit my teeth at the sight. I can just imagine him calling Niko “Daddy” and it has me seeing red. I breathe in deeply before taking another sip of my drink. The burn down my throat does nothing to quell my rolling stomach.

Don’t do anything stupid, I repeat to myself. You’re not together.

When I finally drag my eyes away from Simon to look at Niko, he’s already looking at me. Maybe he’s been watching me this entire time. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part.

He’s glaring at me and I swear I can feel the heat of his gaze against my skin. He has a drink in his hand and he throws it back. I can’t look away from his throat and the way his Adam’s apple bobs as he drinks.

Simon licks up the liquid that slides down from the corner of his mouth to his neck. I want to fucking choke him. I want to drag him off Niko’s lap and put myself there instead. I want to shout that Niko is taken, that he’s mine.

I’m fucking losing control of myself.

I throw the rest of my drink back to stop myself from doing something stupid. Everything is red. I fucking hate myself for wanting him, even though he’s with Simon now. Or messing around with him. I don't know what they are and I don’t want to find out.

I push myself further into Noah’s body, to stop myself from walking over to the pair and making a fool of myself. Our eyes lock as Simon makes his way down and kneels on the floor, in between his spread legs. Niko raises an eyebrow at me. And I do what I do best— I run.

Figuratively, at least. There’s no way in hell I would actually run out of here and give him something else to laugh about.

He’s obviously been playing with me. All those calls and messages meant nothing. He had his fun with me and now he’s done. He’s back to messing around with Simon.

Why did he send all those messages then? Why call me all those times? Why did he bother coming into my life in the first place?! I look away from him in distraught, trying to breathe through the hurt. I can’t look at fucking Simon giving him a blowjob in the middle of a party. I don’t care that I’m the one who ended things this time. I can’t watch him with someone else. I can’t.

I snatch Noah’s drink from his hand and throw it back as well. “Woah, easy there,” I hear him yell over the music. But I don’t want to take it easy. I want to bleach my eyes and brain and forget about everything I just witnessed.

Noah has a pensive look on his face as he turns my body towards him completely, dragging his arm from my shoulders to my waist.

I don’t feel anything. I wish I could feel something.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

I don’t know how to answer that without wanting to scream.

He leans closer at whatever expression he sees on my face. “Let’s get out of here,” he whispers into my ear.

I nod my head and he places his hand on the small of my back as he guides me away. I don’t know where we’re going but I don’t care. I feel sick to my stomach after watching Simon all over Niko. And Niko didn’t push him away. That must mean they’re together now.

Niko wants him. Not me.

The noise of the party is muffled slightly as Noah takes me into a bathroom, locking the door behind us. The bathroom is huge like the rest of the mansion and I avoid looking at the mirror as I immediately grab onto the sink with both hands, closing my eyes and hanging my head. Fuck, I knew I shouldn’t have come.

“You two… are things done between you?”

I look up at the question in shock, watching Noah’s reflection in the mirror. “What?” I whisper.

Noah is standing behind me now. “You and the birthday boy.”

The birthday boy, he said. Niko. The reason behind the party that’s going on out there.

It’s Niko’s 20th birthday.

My mouth is still open, words failing me. “You— How— What— When—”

“Since that one game he went to,” Noah admits. “I saw the way he cornered you outside. I saw how he, uh, played with you.”

I blush as his eyes trail down my body. But it’s not his stare that caused that reaction. It’s the reminder of what Niko did to me. The way he played with my nipples until they were so sensitive that I almost came. The fact that someone saw that makes me blush even harder. I’m so mortified that I want the ground to open underneath my feet and swallow me up.

“You knew this whole time?” I ask quietly, pushing myself up and turning around to face him. It feels wrong giving him my back side now that I know he’s definitely interested. That gaze he just gave me was more than enough confirmation.

He nods. “Didn’t know if it was serious or not. Since you had a girlfriend at the time.” Clara. “Everyone could tell she was using you though, so things started to make sense after I saw you and him together. She was your beard. I realize she was helping cover up for you.”

I don’t bother to correct his assumptions. “Why didn’t you say anything?” I ask instead.

“And force you to come out when you weren’t ready?” He asks, scowling at the thought. “Hell no. I’m bi so I know the struggle and how important it is to come out when you’re ready, when you feel safe. Plus, it wasn’t any of my business. But I noticed when she stopped coming and I saw you around with Nikolai sometimes. I realized you were slowly coming out. Thought it was pretty serious from the way you two looked at each other.” I want to cry in the middle of the fucking bathroom. “Guess not from what I just saw,” he says in a thoughtful voice.

I shake my head. Thinking about Simon and Niko has my insides twisting so painfully that I’m finding it hard to breathe again. My hand is pulling the back of my hair harshly. A habit that I was slowly letting go off and now I’ve been picking up again. “I just want to forget,” I say quietly.

“I can help with that,” Noah says as he steps forward, standing so close to me.

“Why would you?” I ask in confusion, letting my hair go.

“Why wouldn’t I?” He retorts. He puts his hands on my waist. It doesn’t feel right. “You’re gorgeous. I like sex. And I don’t mind being a rebound. Nothing will come out of this. We both obviously don’t want a relationship. Just a little fun. For the moment.”

My heart is racing as his words sink in. I know I can’t bring myself to feel anything for someone other than Niko. I’ve tried and failed spectacularly. And the small amount of alcohol I consumed hasn’t made me drunk to the point that I can pretend that Noah is Niko. I don’t even know if pretending he’s Niko will get me going. I want to forget, but I don’t think I can do it sexually.

The conflict must be showing on my face because he backs off slightly. “Hey, no pressure,” he says gently, rubbing my waist slowly. He’s giving me space and he’s not forcing anything. I take a deep breath and I don’t feel like crawling out of my skin. “We don’t even need to have sex,” he says with a shrug. “We can start slow and see where it takes us. We can kiss only. Or we can simply talk.” He’s grinning again.

I smile back at him slightly. I’m breathing more easily now. I grasp his shoulders as I think about his proposition. I’ve always loved kissing Niko. I didn’t exactly enjoy it with Clara. I didn’t enjoy it with any of the other guys I experimented with in high school. But Niko opened this whole other world to me. A world of pleasure that I didn’t think I would ever get a taste of. Maybe it’ll be different now? I look at Noah closely before staring at his lips.

He smiles. “Want to kiss?” He asks softly.

I’m nervous for some reason. What if I’m still broken? What if I don’t feel anything when he kisses me? What if this proves Niko is the only one that makes me feel alive? What will I do then?

There’s only one way to find out.

I tighten my fingers on his shoulders as I nod.

“Okay,” he says easily. “You seem nervous. We’ll take it slow, okay?”

His voice is reassuring and calming. My heart’s beating like a jackhammer against my chest as he gets closer, tilting his head. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I close my eyes tightly as I feel his breath against my face. I don’t want to do this. I’m about to tell him that we should stop when a harsh banging against the door starts. I flinch and stare at it in shock, relief flooding me at the interruption.

“Open this fucking door!” I hear over the ruckus.

What. The. Fuck.

What the hell is Niko doing here?!

Noah and I don’t have much time to do anything as we watch the door shake on its hinges before it’s kicked open. Literally.

The sounds from the party come in at full force as the door slams against the wall. But that’s not the only thing that comes in at full force— Niko is entering the bathroom like he’s planning to demolish everything in sight. He narrows his eyes on Noah’s hands, on my hands, on how close we’re standing.

I snarl at him as I move to stand in front of Noah, cutting off all physical contact. “What the hell are you doing here?”

I get a weird sense of deja vu. He said similar words to me when I showed up at Mia and Maya’s birthday party.

He’s probably thinking about that too as he glares at me coldly. “Move,” he breathes out harshly, eyes darkening the longer I defy him. I don’t move an inch. “You’re protecting him?” He asks with an expression I’ve never seen.

I scowl. “Leave us alone, Nikolai.” He fists his hands at the sound of his name. “Shouldn’t you be with Simon right now?” I ask angrily, crossing my arms in front of me.

“So you could be with him?” He asks with clear distaste.

“What we do is none of your business!”

His jaw tightens. “It is when it’s being done under my roof.”

“Then we’ll go elsewhere,” Noah says from behind me.

“Like fuck you will.” Niko is stepping closer and the smell of cigarettes is emanating from him.

Niko smoking was never a good sign. I push my worry for him aside and put a hand on his chest to stop him from getting closer. “Enough!” I say, holding on to my anger. “Stop bothering us. We’re going to leave.”

Niko gives me a glare, his eyes cold and dead. I don’t remember seeing him like this before, except that time during the fight or Mia and Maya’s birthday party. Is he on another high? It seems much worse.

“Come on,” Noah says from behind me, grabbing my waist lightly and trying to make his way around Niko.

There’s no warning for the mess that’s about to happen except Niko growling an I’ll fucking kill you before slamming his fist into Noah’s face. I can only watch in shock as Noah falls to the ground, his hand falling from my waist at the impact. It’s only when Niko bends down to keep going that I find my voice. “Stop it, Nikolai!” I yell over the music, trying to pull him back from Noah but he’s already straddling him. He’s like a bull and I’m struggling to hold him back as he raises his fist again.

“Stop!” I jump in front of Niko, covering Noah’s body with mine as I face him.

He looks like he wants to strangle me but at least he stops. My relief is short-lived as he stares me down and starts speaking louder than the music around us. In Russian.

I stare at him curiously. I don’t understand a word he’s saying, but suddenly there are people walking inside. Big, bulky men dressed in black. His bodyguards. They must have been standing outside the entire time. What the fuck.

They’re approaching us and I think they’re going to pull Niko back, but instead one of them grabs me. The other two stand behind Niko, but they’re not trying to stop him. They’re keeping watch.

“Nikolai!” I can’t believe he’s doing this. I’m fighting the entire time as his bodyguard drags me off of Noah and pulls me to the side, making sure that I’m close enough to get a proper view of what’s going to happen but not close enough to stop it.

I’m still yelling. I’ve been yelling from the second that the bodyguard grabbed me. Yelling for him to stop, that I won’t forgive him if he does this, that I will never speak to him again. But it’s like he can’t hear anything as he starts pummeling Noah.

“Stop it! Stop!” There’s terror sinking into my bones as I fight against his bodyguard’s hold. I punch him in the face as a last resort and he lets me go in surprise. I panic and the bodyguard traps my torso with both arms, keeping me hostage again.

“Nikolai, stop this! Stop!” I scream as I watch Noah try to block some punches with his arms but Niko isn’t deterred, punching him from all sides.

What’s crazy is that Noah is grinning through it all. He’s edging him on, escalating the situation. I can hear some of the things he’s saying as I yell for Niko to stop.

He tastes good.

He had to be under me to get over you.

His moans are hot.

He’s not yours.

Jealous prick.

I don’t know why he’s saying things like that but he’s not scared of the beating he’s getting. And now he’s bleeding. I watch with a queasy stomach as blood spills on the white floor. “Stop it already, he’s bleeding!”

That only seems to make Niko punch him harder.

“What the hell?!” A feminine voice interrupts the madness.

I look up and practically fall to my knees in gratitude. “Cecily, get help!” I yell before the bodyguard covers my mouth, muffling anything else I have to say as if that will stop her somehow.

Tough luck, you bastard, I think as I watch her immediately turn around, running faster than I’ve ever seen her run before.

Everyone’s talking in Russian now and Niko stops punching Noah, who’s already sporting a black eye and a swollen face. He’s barely moving and I have tears in my eyes, fearing the worst, until his fingers twitch. Okay, he’s alive. I breathe out in relief, the hand covering my mouth hiding my sounds.

Niko stares at me and I give him wide eyes and shake my head. Everything I want to say is muffled by the hand covering me and he looks pissed off. His veins are throbbing as he says something in Russian, loud and angry.

The hand over my mouth is gone fast.

“Nikolai, please stop!” I yell immediately.

“Do you remember what I told you?” He asks viciously, voice deep and furious.

I give him a confused look.

“The last time I took you,” he growls.

I can’t even be embarrassed that he’s speaking about this in front of other people. I’m too worried about Noah. About him. I’ve never seen him this way.

“I told you not to let anybody touch you,” he snarls, his muscles bulging in anger.

You better not let anyone else touch you or I swear to fuck my murder threats will become reality. Those were his exact words.

My heart stops and I shake in his bodyguard’s arms. “Niko, don’t,” I whisper with wide eyes.

“Now it’s Niko, huh?” He asks bitterly. He glares at me as he stands up, grabbing Noah by the front of his shirt and dragging him out of the bathroom just like that.

“Niko!” I yell as he drags Noah’s body out of the bathroom. “Please don’t hurt him!”

His bodyguards are following him and I don’t fight against the one that’s restraining me, too worried about what Niko was planning to do.

I keep yelling for him to stop as he drags Noah right out the back doors, people in the party separating for him as he walks by like this is normal or something they see every day. I stop pleading with him the second I see where he’s dragging Noah’s body to.

The woods.

I’m imagining the worst, remembering the initiation and the brutality I witnessed. Is he going there to… finish the job? To dispose of Noah’s body? I’m shaking at the thought. Will he actually murder Noah? My stomach is turning and twisting. I don’t know what he’s planning to do and he refuses to listen to me.

I breathe in deeply to calm down the incoming panic. I need to do something. Anything. I make a quick decision as I stomp on the bodyguard’s foot while smacking my head back. His bodyguard cries out at the sudden attack and lets me go. This time, I don’t panic and I run fast.

I run in front of Niko, pushing his chest back with my hands and trying to stop him from moving. But he’s like a bulldozer. He’s so strong that it’s like I’m nothing but air to him.

He’s still pushing forward as I beg him to stop. He gives me a murderous look and grabs my arm harshly, pulling me along with him.

“Niko, please stop this!” I yell at him as he keeps manhandling me with one hand and dragging Noah with the other.

“I warned you what would happen,” he shouts angrily.

“You made your point!” I scream as he almost makes it to the edge of the forest. “Please stop, please!”

“My point will be made when I cover the ground in his blood and fuck you in it,” he says savagely.

My heart drops to my feet. I shake my head in fear. “Don’t!” I yell, my voice trembling. “Please, Niko, don’t do that!”

He’s not listening to me as he drags us along.

“Nikolai, what the hell are you doing?!” Jeremy’s voice booms as he stops in front of us, blocking Niko’s path. I can tell he ran over here and I can’t help but thank every deity in this universe for Jeremy’s appearance.

Tears of relief fill my eyes as Niko finally stops. I peek around him to look at Noah but he seems to be unconscious. His face is marred with bruises. He has a nasty dark eye, his eyelid swollen and forcing it to stay shut. There’s blood coating his face and along his arms, where bruises are forming.

Oh my god.

I tend to forget about Niko’s violent streak when I don’t see it for a long time, but I can see it clearly right now and he’s completely unhinged. It’s like I can’t recognize him.

“Get out of my way, Jer,” he says and I’ve never heard him speak to him that way.

Jeremy seems taken aback too before he clenches his jaw. “I’m not moving. Let them go,” Jeremy orders.

“I said to get out of my way!” Niko roars.

“And I said I’m not fucking moving!” Jeremy yells back, his voice echoing.

I can only stare at them with wide eyes, my eyes ping-ponging from one to the other. I’ve never seen them fighting, much less arguing. Not once, in any of the stories that Niko loved to tell me about, did they ever argue. It was all about Niko pestering Jeremy until they became best friends.

Even the bodyguards surrounding us are fidgeting now.

“Niko, please stop this,” I whisper as he and Jeremy stare each other down.

His hold on me tightens, but he’s not backing down.

“I’ll do whatever you want, just please stop,” I implore quietly.

That makes him look at me.

I don’t know what he sees in my expression but he snarls as he says something in Russian before letting Noah go. I watch as Jeremy’s expression darkens before Niko turns around and practically drags me along with him. I don’t fight his hold. I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but he’s obviously not okay. He’s definitely doing worse than the night he punched me.

We enter the mansion and Cecily is right by the doors, being held back by the same blond man that stopped me when I went to search for Lan the day Niko kidnapped him.

“Bran!” She exclaims in worry, her eyebrows hunched together at the sight of Nikolai dragging me with a tight hold on my arm. She glares at Niko. “Let him go!” She yells over the blond man’s shoulder.

“It’s okay,” I say as Niko ignores her and keeps moving, making his way towards the stairs. “I’m going with him,” I say slightly louder so she can hear me over the music.

I give her a slight smile to calm her nerves. I’m sure I’m not successful from the look she gives me before Niko and I turn the corner. The last thing I see is her arguing with the blond man as he holds her back from following us.

“Where are we going?” I ask as we approach the stairs.

He ignores me and drags me up the steps. I’m barely able to keep up with his pace, almost tripping a few times. I only hope Lan is busy with Mia to see any of this or there will be hell to pay. I don’t even want to think of what he would do.

“Nikolai!” I yell at him once we reach the second floor. He’s like an unstoppable force. Nothing I say or do is stopping him. “I already told you I would do what you want. Stop manhandling me,” I say in annoyance, trying to pry his hand off my arm.

“Fucking stop fighting me!” He yells at me ferociously, tightening his hold and shaking me roughly.

I’m so shocked that I actually do stop and let him keep dragging me around. The way he spoke to me just now… It reminds me of that horrible night. The night that I had my breakdown. The night he found out the truth about how truly fucked up I am. The night that changed everything.

He practically shoves me into a room, finally letting me go, before he slams the door shut. The music downstairs is muffled, but the sound of the lock turning is loud. I don’t have time to look around before I turn to face him, feeling his hurtful tone spread through my veins like poison. “You don’t get to speak to me that way,” I say as I rub the spot where he held me. It hurts.

“How else should I speak to you?” Niko prowls with vengeance. He’s up against me and his nostrils flare. “When you’ve been whoring yourself around to other people.”

His words cut deep. I stop my lips from trembling and let the anger take over. “You don’t get to talk to me like that, Nikolai! We’re not together anymore. I’ll sleep with whoever I fucking want,” I yell at his face.

His face turns red. “I’ll fucking kill them. I’ll kill every single person that touched you, that was able to feel your skin, that sank into your body. I’ll murder all of them.”

It scares me that he means every word. I was almost a witness to it.

“You’ll let him go, right?” I whisper in worry. I didn’t sleep with Noah but he sure as hell implied that we did. “I came up here with you. Don’t hurt him anymore. Don’t… kill him,” I force the words out.

Niko grunts fiercely. “Don’t mention him again or I will fucking kill him. I’m barely holding myself back as it is.”

I nod immediately. “Okay.”

“Who else touched you?” The words are strangled as they come out of his mouth.

“Niko…” I don’t know how to explain that the idea of somebody else touching me is revolting without giving up my pride.

“How many people fucked you?” He asks angrily.

I look away, refusing to answer.

Niko makes a sound of disgust that vibrates against my skin. “So much for not liking sex,” he says indignantly. “You seem to like it a lot now, huh?”

My stomach twists. I know I should clear up this misunderstanding. But if I do, then what? We can’t get back together anyways. He chose to hurt my brother. He chose to hurt me by doing that. He knew that and he didn’t care. It’s better if I let him think that I slept around. Like that he’ll start hating me. He’ll let me go completely. My heart wrenches at the thought, but he made his choice and I made mine.

I have to move on.

“You taught me to,” I say after a few seconds of silence.

I look at him and he’s furious.

He grabs my neck with a shaking hand. It’s like he’s trying to hold himself back but he can’t. “I’ll fucking kill all of them,” he snarls.

“Stop speaking like that,” I say slowly through his grip. He’s grabbing my neck, but it’s just… there. He’s not squeezing or trying to kill me. He’s just holding me.

“Why should I?” He asks angrily. “I’m going to—”

“Stop it!” I don’t want to hear what else he’ll do. “You don’t own me. Let me go,” I say as I grab his hand and push it away from me. He has another thing coming if he thinks I’ll take everything he does and not fight back.

Fuck the agreement, I think as I move around him quickly. I’m almost at the door before he turns me around roughly, shoving me up against it. I wince at his brute force, but I can tell from his eyes that he’s becoming more unhinged by the second.

“Let’s get one thing clear, Brandon,” he says through gritted teeth, anger pulsing from every cell in his body. My eyebrows twitch at the sound of my name from his mouth. I hate it. “You’re fucking mine!” His hand slams against the door, right beside my head. I can feel the door vibrating against my back from the force. “That means that I do fucking own you.”

“You don’t—”

“I own every inch of your body,” he interrupts me ruthlessly. “Those blue eyes belong to me. This mouth,” he says as he touches my lips with his other hand. “That cries out in pleasure when I touch you belongs to me.” He moves his hand down slowly, trailing it from my mouth, down my neck and to my stomach. “This body that shivers every time I touch it belongs to me.” He grabs me through my pants and I gasp. “This hard cock belongs to me.” He squeezes me and I can’t help the low moan that comes out of my mouth. “You belong to me.”

I don’t even know why I’m hard. Nothing that he did was sexual. I watched him pummel Noah into the ground, threaten to kill someone, and let him drag me around, pulling me this way and that way. There’s no reason I should be hard right now, but being able to smell him and feel him again is enough. I must be a masochist or something.

“That means nothing. It’s… physical.” I force the words out of my mouth as I look away.

Niko makes a harsh sound, letting me go. He’s pulling my face towards him again, making sure that I look at him. “It’s not just physical. You want me.”

“It is for me.” I’m lying. I’m a fucking liar. “I just have to get you out of my system, that’s all.”

This is what I need to do, I remind myself. It’s the only way to move on. The only way to end things between us, once and for all.

Niko stares at me intensely, some of his recklessness easing as he lets the muffled sound from the party take over the room for a few seconds. His fingertips are skimming along my neck and I’m so sensitive that I shiver in his hold.

He smiles cordially and nods. “Okay.”

I narrow my eyes slightly. “Okay?”

He nods again and lets me go, stepping back to give me space. “Okay.”

I watch his movements carefully, scared this is a trick somehow. But he’s not moving, just watching me. Okay.

“Okay,” I repeat slowly. I’m confused but I’m not going to question it. “I’m leaving. Uh, happy birthday,” I say awkwardly and I can see the way his eyes gleam at my words. “Um… bye,” I mutter before turning around, ready to run out of the room if I have to.

My hand is reaching for the doorknob when Niko pushes me against the door with his body. I breathe in sharply as I feel his body pressed against mine.

“Not so fast,” he whispers into my ear and I shiver. I’m a lost cause. “You said you needed to get me out of your system. You know what you need to do for that to happen.” He circles his hips and grinds against my ass. He’s hard.

I shake my head. “No,” I rasp, breathing out harshly. “That’s not a good idea.”

Niko hums like he expected that. “I thought it was just physical, no?”

His voice… he’s taunting me. I grit my teeth. “It is.”

“Prove it then. Suck me off,” he says easily.

My face heats up. “I will do no such thing!”

He turns me around until I’m facing him again. “I thought it was only physical,” he retorts, raising an eyebrow.

He’s going to keep using my words against me all night if he has to. I can tell.

“Unless you want to run,” he speaks in a low voice. “That’s what you do best.” The anger in his voice is obvious and I try not to let his words hurt me as much as they do. “What’s it going to be?” He asks, staring me down.

I gulp. The idea of having him in my mouth again has me trembling. I want it. It scares me how bad I want to feel him again— to be with him again. Maybe he’s right and that’s what I need. One last time with him to actually get him out of my system. One last time before we part ways. Just one last time.

“Unless it’s not just physical?” He taunts.

I glare at him. I hate being mocked. “I’ll do it,” I say as I come to a decision. I thought that I would be filled with a sense of regret after I said those words but there’s only anticipation pulsing through my veins.

Niko hums and takes two steps back. “Get on your knees,” he orders immediately.

“I don’t get on my knees,” I grit out. We both know it’s a lie, but I don’t care.

“You do for me,” he states plainly.

I look away at his words. I did get on my knees for him before. Many times.

He leans forward and sucks my neck before kissing his way up to my ear. “Get on your knees, baby,” he whispers.

I moan and shiver. I’m fucking weak.

I get down on my knees. But of course Niko can’t let me do it silently. He makes a pleased sound and grabs my chin to tilt my head up as I start kneeling. He makes sure we keep eye contact as my knees finally hit the ground and I watch him loom over me like a god. I’m trapped against his body and the door.

I’m trembling as he lets my chin go and I look at the bulge in front of me. He’s so big that he’s tenting very obviously in his jeans. I can’t stop myself from leaning forward and pressing small kisses over the tent.

He grunts above me before he places his hand in my hair to pull me back. We lock eyes. “Take me out,” he orders, his chest going up and down like he can’t wait to be in my mouth. And maybe he can’t.

I release a shaky breath as I work hastily to take his jeans off. There’s no decorum as I pull his pants down. He’s kicking them off to the side as I watch him twitch in his boxers. I bring my hands to his hips, circling my thumbs on his skin for a second before pulling his boxers down too.

I bite my lip as his cock springs out, it’s so hard and the veins are throbbing with every second I watch. His piercings are wet from the precum spilling from his tip. He’s getting impatient above me but I need a second. I haven’t seen him in so long, I’ve been deprived of Kolya. He can wait.

“Put your mouth on me,” he growls impatiently.

Or not.

I’m about to jerk him off but he pulls my hair again. “No hands,” he orders.

I gulp at the look in his eyes and nod my head in his hold. I place my hands on my thighs and stay rooted in place.

“Good boy,” he says as he grabs himself with his other hand and taps his tip on my lips, leaving a wet trail of his precum on my bottom lip. I feel his piercings and I flick them with my tongue. His taste has me moaning and he makes a sound of pure pleasure before he pulls my hair. “Open your mouth,” he heaves, his chest rising and falling.

I don’t resist as he keeps tapping my lips with his pierced tip. I open my mouth and he immediately starts sinking in, cursing the entire time. He has both hands in my hair now and I don’t stand a chance as my eyes roll back from his taste. He’s heavy on my tongue and I can feel the throbbing vein on his underside. I push my tongue up against it.

“Fuck,” he curses loudly, his voice strained.

I understand the sentiment. I think I’m going into a haze as I get to feel and taste him again. He’s so big and my mouth opens wider to accommodate him.

I can’t take it anymore and start moving. He lets my hair go and lets me set the pace as I start slow, flicking my tongue and dragging it against him as I move back. I keep my eyes on his cock as I pull back, it’s thick, hard and wet from my saliva before I push forward again until the tip of my nose touches his groin.

“Fucking fuck! You were made to suck cock,” he grits out. “My cock,” he adds on angrily.

I let his words bounce off me as I bob my head up and down. He’s moaning loudly above me as I take him deep, moving my tongue against him, speeding up and slowing down.

“Fuck, just like that, baby,” he moans out languidly, grunting with every stroke of my tongue. “Keep going.”

Hearing him call me baby always does something to me. My cheeks hollow as I suck him faster. His sounds are like a shot of heat that spreads through my body. It makes me want more. I want to give him more pleasure. I love knowing that I can turn him this way. I love knowing that my mouth did that.

I pull back with a pop sound and lick my way to the base. I look at him as I lick my way back up to the tip, flicking his piercings.

“Fuck,” he curses loudly, his abs tightening through his shirt. His eyes darken as he looks down at me. “You love going down on me, baby?”

I’m pulsing in my jeans at the nickname. “Yes,” I rasp out, my thighs clenching. I wish I could feel him inside too.

Niko growls at the sound of my voice. “Take me back in, baby,” he orders. “Need you to choke on my cock.”

I flick my tongue on the tip one last time, making sure to circle around his piercings, and he’s barely able to stop himself from thrusting his hips forward in pleasure. I open my mouth and take him back inside. I make sure to flatten my tongue as I take him deep into my mouth.

He’s moaning so loudly that I can’t stop myself from salivating. I start slurping messily as I tighten my lips around him while bobbing my head. There’s fire in my veins and I can’t stop myself from going faster. The room is burning up and I need more of him. My body is ignited and I can’t see anything but him, can’t feel anything but him. I need to taste more of his precum as it spills on my tongue. I need him to come in my mouth and douse this fire that’s blazing inside me.

“You love this,” he growls above me, panting in pleasure. “You love sucking me off. I bet you can come just like this.”

I really can come like this. Oh God.

I moan around him and he jerks his hips at the vibration. I make sure to tighten my throat when the tip of his cock hits the back of my throat.

“Don’t stop, baby,” he moans without restraint, his hands slamming against the door. “Take me deeper.”

I keep tightening around his tip when I take him all the way and he won’t stop cursing. He really fucking likes that.

My jaw hurts but I can’t stop even if I wanted to. I need to feel his piercings as it hits the back of my throat. I need to feel him getting bigger in my mouth, throbbing with need. For me.

“Need to fuck your mouth, baby. Fuck, fuck!” Niko says desperately and I moan against his cock, the vibrations making him moan along too. He grabs my hair and I can tell he wants to go slow before going hard, but he’s too impatient and he’s pulling his hips back too fast before thrusting back in immediately.

I suck him hard whenever he pulls his hips back, the tip of my tongue flicking the throbbing vein on his cock. He’s grunting before he thrusts forward again. I flatten my tongue and make sure to move it from side to side under his cock, keeping my jaw relaxed as he pushes himself completely inside.

He’s speeding up with every thrust, fucking my mouth so hard that the back of my head is hitting the door behind me. I place my hand on his hips to slow him down, but he only goes at it rougher.

“Look at me, need to see you as I fuck your mouth,” he growls as he puts his other hand behind my head to stop it from hitting the door.

I look up at him and tears spill down my cheeks from his brutal pace.

He thrusts harder, his balls smacking against my chin. “Watching you take my cock is so fucking hot. I love watching you choke on it,” he moans out. “I love when you get fucking desperate for it.”

I moan around him at his words. I feel desperate.

“Fuck, keep doing that, baby. Gonna come,” he grunts.

I push my head forward, ignoring the tug of his hand in my hair, as I make sure to take him deeper. I need him to come in my mouth. I want to feel him come down my throat. I need to taste his release.

“You want that?” He asks breathlessly, thrusting harshly. “Want me to come in your mouth?”

I moan louder, my mouth getting wetter at the thought. Everything is sloppy and wet.

“Fuck!” Niko practically screams, and he’s pulling my head back to make sure I can see him. “Gonna give it to you, baby. Don’t take your eyes off of me.”

He’s so fucking intense. I feel like I’m going to burn at his stare. He won’t stop looking at me as he keeps fucking my mouth brutally. And I can’t stop imagining what it would be like if he fucked me again. My thighs are clenching at the thought. What if he fucked me the way he’s fucking my mouth? I can’t stop moaning now and he’s fucking my mouth so hard I can barely breathe, but I feel him thickening in my mouth even more.

He’s cursing a storm above me as he moans a mix of my nicknames. I drag my fingers under his shirt and up his abs, needing to feel him somehow and he comes undone. I feel him twitching as he pushes back in and explodes in my mouth. I swallow as much as I can, rolling my eyes at the taste. He keeps thrusting against my mouth as he curses, barely pulling out as his groin slaps steadily against my lips, his balls smacking my chin without pause, as he keeps coming down my throat.

He yanks my hair and I forgot he told me to keep my eyes on him. We lock eyes as he pulls his cock out until the tip is inside, jerking off the rest of his release in my mouth like that. I shudder at the way he stares at me as I swallow his come.

I’m so fucking hard.

“Fucking perfect and all mine,” he groans in a deep voice. He pushes his softening cock back in and I lick it completely before he finally pulls himself out of my mouth. Very slowly. There’s a trail of my saliva and his release still attached from my tongue to his tip. He licks his lips at the sight. “So fucking hot,” he growls. The thread breaks as he uses his tip to pull my bottom lip down slightly. “Mmmm,” he says before letting his dick go.

He gets on his knees in front of me, immediately grabbing me through my jeans. I moan loudly, watching as he takes my cock out of my pants. He pulls my hair back with his other hand, forcing me to watch him. “Knew you loved sucking me off,” he says as jerks me off with a tight fist.

He’s right. I almost came from having him in my mouth. There’s no point in denying it when I’m throbbing in his hand, wetting it with my precum with every stroke.

He leans forward and sucks my nipples over my shirt. I moan keenly, my back arching as goosebumps erupt on my skin. My hands are on his shoulders, needing to hold onto something.

I’m so close.

Niko can tell too because he stops.

I grunt, watching dejectedly as Niko pulls his mouth and hand away from me. “No… why…?”

“You’ll come on my cock,” he says as he licks his lips.

I’m pulsing with need and I ignore every blaring signal that says I shouldn’t do this. I want him to fuck me. Thought about it the whole time he fucked my mouth. I will do this, but it’ll be done my way.

“If we fuck, there needs to be some rules,” I say decisively.

He stares incredulously. “What rules?”

“You and I won’t cross paths again after this. We do this and that’s it,” I say in my no nonsense voice. “That’s all there will be to it. We fuck and we’re out of each other’s lives.”

Niko tightens his jaw and it takes him a few seconds to respond but he nods.

My heart is pulsing quickly at how easily he gave in, but I keep pushing forward. “We fuck one last time and we get each other out of our systems. We make it quick and get it over and done with.”

He looks furious at every word that comes out of my mouth. I don’t care though. This is what I have to do to protect my heart. I refuse to let myself get hurt by him again.

He lets out a harsh breath and I can feel his rage against my face. “Fine.”

He’s moving forward to kiss me but I turn my face at the last second and he stops. “No kissing,” I say as I watch his arm bulging in front of me. The second he kisses me, I lose myself. I need to avoid that. I need this to be as detached as possible or else I won’t be able to let him go.

“You’re taking your mouth from me?” He asks angrily.

“I gave it to you in other ways,” I remind him as I give a pointed look to his cock. He growls in annoyance. “Those are my terms.”

He’s struggling to keep his anger at bay as he curses. “Fuck,” he seethes heatedly. “Fine. Here are my terms. Or my term since I only have one. We both get to come.”

I raise an eyebrow, feeling mildly offended. “You think I wouldn’t let you come?” I ask incredulously.

He gives me a look. “That’s my only rule. We both get to come and that’s considered as us fucking once like you mentioned in your terms. Mutual interest to make sure we both get our pleasure in the end.”

That makes sense. “Okay,” I agree with a nod.

“Good,” he says, though he doesn’t sound happy at all. “Strip and get on the bed.”

“You too,” I say, not letting him be the only one to order me around.

He gives me another look before standing up and facing away from me, taking his shirt off and throwing it somewhere to the side. He’s so messy. I bite my tongue to stop myself from telling him to pick up after himself. I’m not here to nag him, I’m here to get fucked and leave.

I follow suit as I stand up and take my clothes off in a more orderly fashion, making sure to fold them properly before placing them on top of a tall wardrobe against the wall.

Niko is already by the bedside drawer, his back to me. He looks at me over his shoulder and tilts his head to the bed. “Get on the bed,” he says before he starts to rummage through his stuff. “Hands and knees. Face the headboard. Gonna open you up.” He sounds pissed off.

I hold myself back from speaking as I do what he says, moving slowly as I adjust myself the way he wanted. I try not to let the position get to me. I’m not used to him fingering me like this. He likes to finger me in a position where he could always see me and I could see him. Is he going to fuck me like this too? No… he’s only angry that I took kissing out of the equation. He’s retaliating in his own way. That’s all.

Niko climbs the bed behind me. He taps my legs and I spread them for him. He’s not speaking and it’s throwing me out of my element. He usually likes to speak the whole time. He loves to rile me up with his words. But now, there’s nothing… only silence. Just another thing he’s taking from me.

This is good, I keep repeating. This is how it should be.

Niko is pressing a wet finger inside me. I bite my bottom lip harshly. I won’t make any sounds for him, I think sharply.

This is a horrible game that we’re playing with one another. He’s taking something from me and I’m already retaliating. Though it doesn’t matter because as he keeps fingering me, adding finger after finger, he’s completely detached. In a way that I wish I could be.

I grip the sheets tightly as he spreads the three fingers he has inside me. I didn't make a sound as the minutes passed by and he kept stretching me. The only sound in the room is the muffled music coming from the ongoing birthday party downstairs and our breathing.

Niko keeps stretching me and, for the first time tonight, I wonder if I did the right thing by agreeing to do this. Everything is so mechanical… so clinical. He hasn’t even touched my prostate. And at this point, I think he’s avoiding it on purpose.

He finally pulls his fingers out. He’s rummaging behind me and I hear something tearing.

“What’s that?” I ask, breaking the silence.

“Condom,” he answers harshly.

I startle at his response. We’ve never used a condom before. “We don’t—” but I stop speaking.

“We don’t what?” Niko asks. I’ve never heard him so mad before.

“We’ve never used one,” I say quietly as I fist the sheets in front of me.

“Yes, well that’s what happens when you sleep around. Wouldn’t want to catch anything from your fucks,” he says resentfully, somehow sounding even more angry than before.

He can be such a dick.

I stop my bottom lip from shaking. This is fine, I remind myself forcefully. Let him think that.

But I’m still annoyed at his hypocrisy. “You slept with Simon,” I accuse.

He grunts.

My heart falls to the floor. And I can feel the tears stinging my eyes as I hear him putting the condom on. I want to scream at him. I want to yell. I want to fight. I want to cry.

What does it say about me that I still want him after this? I want to make sure he doesn’t forget me. I want him to compare every other person he’s with to me. I want to be engraved in his memory and never be erased or replaced.

Niko presses his tip against me and I’m shaking as I feel the condom covering him, covering his piercings. I don’t know how to feel as he starts pushing inside, not too slow but not too fast. I hate the condom. I hate that I can’t feel him like I did before. I hate that it feels like we’re not close. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

I know that I should be glad it feels this way. I should be glad that things are detached. It’s the way that I wanted things to be. But I can’t stop the tears from spilling down my cheeks as he pulls out and thrusts into me hard, my ass slapping against his groin.

He’s really taking me from the back. He only likes doing it in this position so long as I get to watch him over my shoulder or if he kisses me, but we’re not kissing. We’re not fucking kissing.

He’s really doing this.

I can’t stop crying as he fucks me hard, holding my hips tightly. He’s making some angry sounds behind me like he’s not pleased at all.

Welcome to my hell, I think, because I’m not pleased either.

I hide my face in the sheets to avoid him seeing or hearing my crying. He doesn’t even try to pull my face off the pillow. He hates it when I hide my sounds from him. He always said that I’m loud and that he loves hearing me.

Not now.

Now, he lets me smother my sounds as he fucks me in a punishing way. I cry into the sheets and he hits my prostate finally. My mind is hurt but my body is not. I’m so hard and he’s finally hitting my spot, I push back against him without restraint.

I want him to fuck me properly. I want him to fuck me the way he always fucks me.

He holds me in place. “You’ll take what I fucking give you,” he says angrily. And I cry out as he slaps my ass harshly.

That felt good, I think in a daze. I don’t realize that I’m wiggling my ass back for more until he stops me with a tight hold, not letting me move at all.

He’s fucking me ruthlessly, but he stops hitting my prostate. The tingling sensation of pleasure evaporates as I realize he’s just using me to get off. It’s like I’m just another hole to fuck. I grit my teeth at the thought even as more tears fall.

This is what I wanted. It’s okay, I remind myself. It’ll make it easier to let go.

He’s fucking me hard, the sounds of my ass slapping against him loud in the room. “This is what you wanted? To be treated like a whore? Is this how you let the others fuck you?”

I cry at his cruel words. I thought I could take his cruelty, but I can’t.

“I’ll make you come just like this,” he says angrily.

No. I don’t want that. I hate this. I hate it.

This isn’t the last memory of him I want. My pride is in shambles as I sob into the sheets, shaking my head.

“What is it?” He asks coldly.

“No,” I sob out, twisting away from him but his hold is tight. “I don’t want this anymore. Stop.”

Niko stops immediately, dragging himself out of my body and letting me go. He turns me around and I refuse to look at him as I cry without being able to stop. My hands are wiping away my tears but new ones replace them immediately.

“Didn’t you want this to be quick?” Niko asks as he lays down beside me, completely collected.

“You’re an asshole,” I say through my tears.

He doesn’t deny it.

I sniff before forcing myself to sit up. I’m fucking leaving. This was a disaster. I shouldn’t have given in. Now I’m actually simmering in regret.

Niko grabs my arm and pulls me back down to the bed. “You’re not fucking going anywhere,” he growls in a deep voice. He immediately gets on top of me, trapping me on the bed.

“Leave me alone,” I say angrily, glaring at him through my stupid tears. “I’m done with you and your games.”

“What games?” He asks just as angrily. “I followed your rules. You wanted to get fucked like one of my old side pieces, right?”

“Shut up—”

“You wanted me to act like you were Simon, didn’t you?” That name makes me see red. “You wanted me to fuck you as if you were him, is that it? You should have called me Daddy, maybe then—”

I slap him hard across the face and it reminds me of the day I punched him after he kidnapped Lan. I hate how every shred of my control evaporates when he’s involved. He looks at me with dark eyes as I yell at his face, “I hate you!”

I’m fighting under him to leave, to get out of his bed, to forget him, to forget my own fucking existence. I can feel the darkness trying to swallow me. He’s telling me to stop but I don’t care. I keep fighting. I want out. I don’t want to be here. This was a fucking mistake.

He grabs my hands and slams them above my head with one hand. He grabs my jaw with the other, forcing me to look at him. “Stop it!” he orders angrily. He pushes his face closer. “You really wish you could fucking hate me, but you don’t. You can’t stay away from me. You fucking want me. This was never fucking physical for you.”

“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you,” I keep repeating, my voice getting louder as I stuggle against him.

“Stop fucking saying that,” he warns me in a calm voice. But it’s all a facade. I can see his expression and he looks like he wants to choke me. “You know what I fucking hate?” My heart drops at the thought of him saying he hates me. “The fact that you let somebody else fuck you. How many people did you sleep with to try to forget me? Did you pretend they were me? Did they fuck you as well as I did?”

“Fuck you! I didn’t sleep with anyone, you twat!” I admit angrily. Niko looks at me in disbelief. “But you slept with Simon. Was it right after I ended things? You just couldn’t wait, could you? Pathetic.”

Pathetic. That’s how I feel right now. Unable to forget about him, even when I left and went back to my parents’ house. He haunts my every thought, but he doesn’t give a damn about me. The need to get even is pulsing through my veins. I want to hurt him as much as he hurt me.

“You didn’t sleep with anyone?” He asks, making sure he heard right.

I scowl. “Fuck you! I should let someone fuck me right in front of you. Let’s see how you would like that—”

His body is taut. “I’ll kill them,” he says through clenched teeth, a nasty expression taking over his face.

“You’re a fucking hypocrite. You slept with Simon,” I say and angry tears escape me.

I fucking hate that he makes a mess out of me like this. He and I only crossed paths because of his obsession, but in the end I’m the one that became completely obsessed with him. Even more than he was with me.

“I didn’t sleep with him,” he admits in a low voice.

“Yeah,” I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes at his blatant lie. “That's why he was giving you a lap dance in the middle of the room. You enjoyed that, didn’t you?” I ask viciously.

He raises a brow. “You ended things with me. What right do you have to claim anything?”

My heart shrivels up. “Exactly what I should be asking you. We have zero rights to each other. Yet you couldn’t leave me and Noah alone.”

“Don’t fucking test me,” he bristles. “My patience is running thin. No one gets to fucking touch you.”

“But I’m supposed to be okay with Simon touching you? You have no right to get mad if I sleep with someone else then,” I argue.

Niko’s vein is bulging on his neck. “Like hell you will.”

We glare at each other.

This is leading nowhere and I’m done. I should have never given in. I attempt to leave again but he refuses to release me.

“No. You and I are going to fucking communicate,” he says angrily. “You told me you would do anything I want. This is what I want. We’re going to fucking talk this shit out and we’re going to be honest. Don’t fucking lie, Brandon, do you hear me?” My eyes narrow at the sound of my name coming from his mouth. “Do you understand?” He repeats, his hand tightening on my jaw.

“Okay,” I whisper, the anger slowly leaving my body. I hate having to make choices and he just made this one for me. I breathe a little easier for some reason. I don’t mind when Niko takes control like this. I find myself following his orders without wanting to fight.

Niko takes a deep breath, letting my jaw go to trail his hand down my neck and shoulder slowly. “You didn’t sleep with anyone?”

His touch is a bit distracting and it takes me a few seconds before I remember that I’m supposed to answer him. I shake my head.

“Words,” he reminds me.

“No, I didn’t sleep with anyone,” I say as his hands trail over a nipple. My body jerks upward in reaction before I can control it. “Did you—”

He gives me a look when I stop speaking, his hands frozen on my nipple. “Did I what? Ask me or I won’t know.”

“Did you… sleep with… anyone?” I struggle to ask, not wanting to hear the answer but needing to know.

“No,” he says as he starts moving his hand again. He’s making circles around my nipple, teasing me with a finger. “You didn’t like it?”

I’m really trying to stop myself from pushing my chest higher. My nipples are so sensitive. There’s a burning desire growing as he leaves goosebumps with every touch. “Didn’t like what?” I ask breathily.

“Simon giving me a lap dance?”

I scowl before I can stop myself. Even the fire that was starting to spark inside me vanishes. I hate the reminder of seeing him on Niko’s lap. It’s like he was publicly claiming Niko for all to see and Niko didn’t mind it.

“You want him?” I ask instead, biting my lower lip to stop it from trembling.

“Answer my question and I answer yours.”

I look away, gritting my teeth. Isn’t it obvious? Why do I have to say it out loud? Just speaking about it makes me want to choke someone.

Niko flicks my nipple and my back archs, a strangled moan escapes me. “Answer the question.”

“No,” I say without resistance, my body trembling from his touch as it comes back down. “I didn’t like it.”

Niko hums. “I don’t want him,” he says after a few seconds. “You can blame Killian for what you saw. That was my birthday present from him. He still thinks I’m exclusive with Simon, even if he dislikes the idea.”

I scowl, reigning in my anger. “But you’re not,” I say more than I ask.

“I’m not,” he confirms, watching me with a dark expression. His hand leaves my nipple and he trails a finger over my lower lip. “No one has gotten a taste of you?”

I gulp. My lips tingle with want. “No.”

He relaxes slightly. His fingers are on my neck now, tracing my vein with the tip of his finger. I’m so sensitive and I can’t help myself from moving slightly. My cock is hard and against his hip. He’s not doing any better.

“Why won’t you let me kiss you?”

“No,” I say immediately. If he does, it’s game over for me.

“Why not?”

“No,” I repeat again, trying to move away.

“Calm down. I won’t fucking kiss you.”

I stop moving as his angry expression comes back to focus. He makes a sound before a pensive look takes over his face. “You didn’t like how I fucked you?”

I grit my teeth as I remember the way he took me. “Don’t do that again,” I speak without thinking.

He raises an eyebrow. “Why?”

“That’s not the way I want to remember you,” I tell him honestly.

He looks confused. “The way you want to remember me?”

I avoid his eyes. “It’s our last time together… I don’t want it to be like that.”

“It’s not our last time together,” he growls.

“Yes it is, Niko,” I say impatiently. “You agreed to my terms. If you don’t like it, then let me go. We’re done here.”

“Your terms are shit. I agreed because you said it was just physical and I wanted to prove you wrong. You won’t kiss me and when I fucked you from behind, you got upset. So how is it still physical to you?” He asks angrily.

My heart is beating rapidly. “Shut up.”

“No,” he says stubbornly. “Admit the truth. You fucking want me. This was never physical to you.”

“Shut up!”

He turns me around roughly, restraining my hands in his hold again. My shout is muffled into the sheets at the sudden movement.

“So if I fuck you like this again,” he says from behind, placing his cock in between my cheeks. He’s still hard and throbbing against me. “You’ll be fine with it?”

I grit my teeth and nod.

“Words,” he says.

“Yes,” I say with as much dignity as possible.

Niko hums as he grinds against my ass. “So you won’t freak out like last time?”

I feel my hackles rising. “I did not freak—”

“Yes or no?” Niko interrupts without a care.

“I will be completely fine,” I say angrily.

“Okay,” Niko says before he backs away and thrusts inside me.

I shout into the sheets. He’s so big and I feel every inch of him sinking inside me slowly. He’s not letting my hands go and I’m trapped between him and the bed.

He breathes heavily against my ear once his groin touches my ass. “So you don’t need me to whisper things in your ear? You don’t want me to call you baby as I fuck you?” He asks as he circles his hips.

I tighten around him at the nickname and moan wantonly. I can feel his piercings hitting every spot inside me, even with the condom on.

“Mm, you love that,” he says gloatingly, still whispering in my ear. “You love it when I call you baby.”

I tighten around him again, shivering against the bed as I moan. “Niko.” My voice is strangled.

He hums again before pulling back and thrusting forward, setting a slow pace as he fucks me. He’s hitting my prostate perfectly with his piercings and I’m getting close, tightening around him as I moan. I need him to go faster. I wiggle my hips back and he stops moving. I cry out at the loss, shaking my head as I turn to look at him over my shoulder.

He doesn’t seem phased as he stays still inside me. “So you don’t need me to suck your neck?” he asks as he puts my face against the sheets and sucks harshly on the side of my neck. I arch my back as I moan, tilting my head to the side so he could keep sucking but he moves away. “You don’t need me to touch you?” He lets my hands go, but I leave them above my head and he makes a noise of approval. He trails his hands along my body and I move my hips back desperately. I need him to move. “You weren’t fucking yourself like this before,” he says slowly, teasingly.

“Fuck me already,” I say in annoyance. I’m so close just from that. My cock is throbbing and I try to drag it against the sheets but Niko stops me.

“No,” Niko says and I release a growl of frustration. “You know what I want,” he says unyieldingly. “Tell me the truth.”

“It’s fucking physical!” I practically yell at him.

He hums pleasantly like I said exactly what he wanted. “Then you won’t need any of those things,” he says fiercely. “Or anything else.”

I make a noise of confusion but he starts thrusting into me hard again and I moan into the sheets.

“I won’t call you baby. I won’t suck on your neck. I won’t say dirty things to you. I won’t fucking touch you. I won’t fuck you without a condom. I won’t come inside you. I won’t let you feel the pleasure you want,” he says angrily, thrusting harshly with every other word that comes out of his mouth.

He stays true to his words as he avoids my prostate. “Niko,” I moan out in despair. He can’t do this to me. He had me hard under him in seconds just from touching me. I was so close to coming, all I needed was a few more thrusts against my spot to come undone. “Let me come.”

“No,” he says, fucking me harder. And every time he pushes in, my cock drags against the sheets harshly. I’m tightening around him. Maybe I’ll be able to come like this. I’m imagining him touching me like before to see if that’ll push me over the edge when he suddenly drags my hips up from the bed. I cry at the loss of stimulation. “Don’t even think you’ll come like that,” he growls.

He takes one hand and flicks my nipples and I moan so loudly, muffling my sound in the sheets. “I won’t touch your nipples again,” he says like an asshole. “Won’t kiss you again. I’ll use your body to come and leave you hard.”

I’m crying as I shake against the sheets when he stops moving. “No, please,” I cry out. He strung me this high, he can’t leave me like this.

“No what?” He asks, suddenly hitting my prostate.

I scream as I shake in his hold. I’m clenching around him tightly and I need him to fuck me like that. I need him to do all those things. I need him. “Don’t do that, please. I need— I want— Don’t,” I blabber senselessly.

“What do you want?” He asks.

“Don’t, don’t, don’t,” I keep repeating like a broken record.

“You’re not giving me what I want,” he says calmly, still thrusting hard. “So you don’t get what you want.”

“What do you want?” I practically shout, shaking as the fire in the pit of my stomach burns me from the inside. “Fuck me, please just fuck me,” I say deliriously.

“I am fucking you,” he says in a deep voice and it does something to me because I start clenching around him. I’m completely desperate that even his voice is ready to set me off.

“Nikolai!” I growl as I fist the sheets. “Let me come!”

I gasp as Niko stops thrusting and grabs my hair, pulling my head back carelessly.

“You took your mouth from me,” he whispers against my ear angrily. “You called this physical. You let me believe you were sleeping around. You keep fucking lying. And you ran from me.” His voice is murderous. “You won’t get anything that you want.”

He releases my hair and my head falls back numbly into the bed. The finality in his voice is still echoing in my ears as he starts moving again.

He will let me come, I think over and over again. He’s just mad right now.

But I’m absolutely wrong. He’s hitting my prostate randomly just to keep me hard and at the edge, but never enough to push me over. The second he feels me tightening around him, he stops and stays still. He even pulls out completely sometimes. The push and pull has me crying into the sheets within five minutes.

“Niko, please,” I beg for the hundredth time when he pushes back inside. My nipples are dragging across the sheets with every harsh thrust and I’m cursing because it’s not enough to push me over.

Niko doesn’t reply. The headboard slamming against the wall and the slaps of my ass hitting his groin are the only sounds in the room.

I muffle my cries again. I bite into the sheets and try to think of the way he would call me baby, the way he would touch me, the way he would kiss me, the way he would speak to me. I’m moaning as I imagine that and I’m tightening around him so harshly that he struggles to pull out of me.

But he does.

“No, no,” I cry out. My imagination of him ceased the second he pulled out and I’m left at the edge again. I’m shaking. I can’t do this. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I repeat over and over.

“Sorry for what?” He asks, turning me around softly so I’m on my back. He’s careful to not touch my cock.

“I won’t— I won’t lie again,” I say through my tears. “Please just let me—”

“So you’ll tell me the truth?” He asks, caging me in with his body.

I nod desperately, barely comprehending his words from my desperation. “Yes, I ran. Okay? I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m—”

“Stop saying sorry. That shit pisses me the fuck off,” he mutters before biting my neck. “You get rewarded with each truth that comes out of your mouth.” He flicks one of my nipples and I try to hold back my moan as my back arches. “I might even let you come,” he whispers in my ear.

My cock is pulsing with need. “Please,” I say needily as goosebumps spread across my arms.

“Love when you beg,” he says darkly. He sucks on my neck lightly before backing away, but it’s enough to have me rubbing my cock up against his body. He pushes my hips down and tsks. “What did I say?”

“Okay. Anything,” I say as I try to grind up against him again, but Niko is not letting me. “Ask anything.”

“Why did you run?” He asks immediately.

“I had to. You kidnapped Lan and chose to hurt me,” I say in a painful voice, the anger and heartbreak I felt when everything happened still feels fresh to me.

“I didn’t choose to hurt you,” he says indignantly, as if my words offended him when all I said was the truth.

“You did,” I say angrily, letting the anger push the desperation I feel away bit by bit.

“I chose to hurt him.”

“And you knew that would hurt me. You chose to hurt me as a result.”

“I let that fucker go for you,” he practically growls. I stare at him bemused. Niko looks like he wants to shake me. “I never got payback. Even though he drugged me and kidnapped me. Even though I almost fucking died. I didn’t fucking retaliate the way I wanted to. Do you even understand what that means?” He asks ruthlessly.

I shake at his words. I remember the fear that consumed me when I found out he was being held hostage in the basement. And the never ending pain when I woke up and found out he slit his throat open. It hurts me to know I couldn’t do more to protect him from my family. It hurts knowing that I almost lost him in an irreversible way.

“I don’t think you do,” Niko keeps speaking with a dark edge, never breaking eye contact with me. “I don’t stay put when someone comes for me. I get fucking even. And fast. I react first, think later… or maybe never. I let that fucker brother of yours go because of you. Sure, we fought in the ring. It took some of the edge off. But that’s nothing compared to what I should have done to him,” he says in a low voice. He makes sure that I hear his next words clearly. “I should have fucking killed him.” I shudder in fear when he says those words. “I should have ended his life the second that I recovered. I would have loved to strangle him to death, to feel as he took his last breaths and felt the last beats of his heart against my fingers. I fantasized about it.”

I’m staring at him openly in shock. He has a detached look on his face that seems manic and unhinged, needing blood to quench his thirst, as if he was getting high just from the thought of unleashing himself completely and doing what he wanted to do from the beginning.

He keeps speaking and he won’t stop. “I wanted to kill him without remorse right in front of you.” I’m shaking my head in denial, fear choking me at the thought. “I wanted to snap his neck and separate his head from his body. I wanted to bathe in his blood—”

“Stop!” I yell at him, horrified with every word that came out of his mouth. “Stop, stop, stop!” My hands are pressed against my ears, trying to block the words from taking image in my head but it’s impossible. I can see it clearly in my mind. Niko killing Lan. Tears are stinging my eyes but I hold them back.

I look at him warily. Tonight was a reminder for me. Of who Niko truly is. A mafia prince. I think of the way he ordered his bodyguards around, the way he fought Noah, the way he dragged Noah’s body to the forest. I’m shaking as my anxiety takes over. What would he do to Lan next? Is he still considering doing something like that? Especially now that we’re not together? That thought scares me more than anything else. A life without Lan… I can’t hold back my tears after that. I don’t even want to imagine it. But there’s a pain so deep that I’m finding it hard to breathe. I’m gasping in between my tears, my chest constricting and it’s getting hard to breathe.

“Stop crying,” Niko says, seeming to come out of the dark fantasy that he sank into. He wipes my tears but new ones replace them. “Fucking stop,” he says aggravatingly as I start wheezing. “I’m not going to touch him, you hear me?” He practically yells over my panic. “Stop freaking out.”

I try to speak but I can’t. Something choked out comes out of my mouth instead.

He gives me a worried look and brings my hand to his chest. “Breathe with me,” he orders. I try to take deep breaths and follow the rise and fall of his chest. “Come on, baby,” he says soothingly, pressing kisses along my face.

Baby. I focus on his words, on the feel of his lips against my face, on the fast heartbeat underneath my touch, the deep breaths he’s taking. I follow along with him. I breathe in deeply as the panic that was invading me starts to recede slowly.

I’m drained when I come back from… whatever that was. Niko is humming lightly, patting my hair and kissing my forehead. He’s calling me baby and lotus flower. I thought he wouldn’t call me that again.

“That— What was— That?” I ask in between breaths.

“Panic attack,” Niko says as he moves back. “Or at least the start of one.” He’s checking me over as he speaks.

A panic attack. My mind is still muddled as I try to come to terms with what he said. I haven’t experienced that before. The thought of Niko killing Lan did that? My heart sinks at the realization. I literally can’t live without Lan. He may be whatever he may be, but he’s my brother. My other half. I would follow right after him if he’s gone from this world.

“Lan— Don’t hurt him like that,” I say breathlessly, desperation crawling in my veins. We’re so close that I feel the whoosh of air he lets out in anger.

“He’s all you fucking care about.” His grip tightens on my waist.

“He’s not all I care about,” I whisper as I stare at him. I care about him, even when I tell myself that I shouldn’t. “But he’s my brother,” I state obviously, tears refusing to stop again. “My twin brother.”

He glares at me in annoyance, as if the reminder left a rotten taste in his mouth.

“Don’t do anything to him. Please.” I’m not above begging right now.

“Stop crying,” he repeats instead.

“You won’t hurt him like that, right?” I choke out through my tears.

Niko grunts, wiping my tears softly. “Stop crying. I told you I didn’t touch him because of you. It was going to stay that way, but then that shitshow happened at the party. I only came after him because he touched my sister,” he speaks in the space between us.

“They love each other,” I tell him softly as he wipes my tears again.

“Yeah,” he grits out in annoyance through his teeth like the mere idea of admitting that causes him pain. “I realize that now. But back then, I didn’t know that. I thought he was trying to get at me.” I look at him as I take his words in. “Point is… that I didn’t even think about getting even because it would hurt you. I chose you in every way. Until my sister got involved.”

I tell myself to calm down, to not soften at his words but my heart is fighting a losing battle. I stare at him as he touches my face softly and I want to cry. I didn’t realize he chose me in his own.. messed up way, I guess. He put his family first just like I did. I can’t fault him for that. It just sucks that Lan had to be hurt in the process, but I know he’s not a saint. Niko got hurt because of what Lan instigated. Lan got hurt as retaliation.

“What I really wanted to do was walk into your mansion, kill Landon and kidnap you,” Niko admits quietly.

I stare at him with wide eyes. Every route he could have taken seems worse than the last. I don’t know why I feel a tinge of relief at the fact that he chose the one that was less hurtful.

“Please… no more talking about killing Lan,” I say just as quietly. I touch his face the same way he’s touching mine. I really missed him. I run my fingers through his hair, releasing it from the band that’s holding it together.

“You were honest for once,” he hums pleasantly. “You get a reward for that.” He gives me a devilish grin before he starts moving down my body.

Honestly, talking about Lan and Niko’s revenge made me forget about everything else. I’m only half hard now from that horrible conversation, but it doesn’t take more than Niko putting his mouth on me to get me going again. I watch as he takes me in his mouth and my eyes roll back. “Niko,” I moan out loud before biting my tongue to stop myself from being loud.

Niko’s spreading my legs as he makes space for himself properly. He takes me deep and starts bobbing his head, sucking me tightly. His tongue is swirling around and his mouth is so wet. I feel like I’m in paradise. I’m muffling my sounds and he suddenly enters two fingers inside, thrusting them and hitting my prostate. I melt into the bed as my back arches, grabbing his hair with a hand. “Niko, Niko, Niko,” I moan.

He moans around me and I swear I can feel the vibration go from my cock to the rest of my body. I’m spilling precum into his mouth at the sensation. I can’t look away from him as he takes me deep again. He looks so good between my legs. That’s where he should be every second of every day.

My breathing is chopped as I pull his hair and tighten around his fingers from the dual stimulation. “Oh God,” I practically scream as I approach my climax, pulling his hair harder. “Right there, don’t stop, I’m so close,” I babble in pleasure.

And he stops.

He fucking stops.

“Don’t!” I say as I thrust my hips upwards but he’s pulling his fingers out, holding my hips down as he takes his mouth away from me. “I was so close, Niko, fuck!” I curse at him, twisting in his hold.

He holds me tighter until I settle down. “I know.” Asshole.

“Why stop then?!” I obviously have no control of my mouth anymore. The desperation that was pushed down before is back with vengeance.

“Should I continue?” He asks thoughtfully.

“Yes!” My reply ends with a squeak as he flicks my nipples. My chest pushes upward and I stare at him deliriously as he mumbles something before he licks them. I moan shamelessly and place a hand in his hair again.

I would think my nipples would be too sensitive from the way they dragged across the sheets for so long, but they’re not. The more Niko sucks on them, the more I lose my mind. My cock throbs harshly as he nibbles on them. My hole is tightening around nothing and I feel completely empty inside. I need more.

“It’s not enough,” I moan desperately, pulling Niko’s hair. I don’t know if I want to push him away so I can shout at him to fuck me or if I want to pull him closer until my nipples are so sensitive that I’ll feel his lips for days.

Niko pulls away, flicking my nipples with his tongue. “I know.”

I growl. Him and his I know, but he won’t do anything.

“Fuck me,” I demand as I wrap my legs around his waist. I grind myself against his abs and moan in relief as my cock gets some respite.

Niko pulls up on his knees, taking away the physical contact I needed. I groan in annoyance but he gives me a sweet smile. Warning bells start blaring in my head. I watch shakily as he slowly holds my cock in his hand.

“Not yet,” he says as he starts jerking me off.

I’m turning my face to the side to muffle my moans and my legs are tightening around him like a vice. He’s going faster and at this point I don’t care if he fucks me or not as long as he makes me come. My back arches as I get closer and I’m wetting Niko’s hands as he pumps faster, twisting his hand around me as he drags it up and down. I’m throbbing in his hands and I’m meeting his tugs with a jerk of my hips.

Right there! I want to scream but I can’t make any sounds as my jaw drops and I’m pulsing in his hold, my cock twitching viciously. I’m going to come.

Fuck fuck fuck—

“No!” I yell at him when he holds me tightly by the base, stopping everything. “Niko, keep going!” I’m thrusting my hips up to push him into action but he ignores me, tightening his hold around my base as I cry in despair.

“Shh, shh,” Niko says smoothly. “Can’t let you come yet.”

“Why?” I ask, unable to hold back my tears.

“I have to remind you of a few things.”

I’m twisting in his hold angrily, but he holds me down. “What?” I growl.

“That you’re mine.” He sounds so angry. And it’s all very sudden. “You can fight against it all you want. You can run and hide. But it’ll be futile. You will always end up like this. Under me. Begging for me. At my mercy.”

He doesn’t have to tell me that when I already know. It’s the reason I left in the first place. I knew I would end up in his space somehow if I stayed. I’ve been back for less than a week and these are the results.

He releases me and I’m fucking embarrassed at how pathetic I feel. I’m humping the air, imagining the ghost of his hand there. He stops me.

“Let’s try something out,” he says as I debate the idea of pushing him down and riding him until I come. He lets me go and pushes my hands up, my palms flat against the headboard. “Don’t move them from there or I won’t let you come.”

I gulp and leave my hands exactly how he places them, not daring to move an inch. I watch as he rummages through his bedside drawer, searching for something.

“You know what this is, baby?” He asks, holding something in between his fingers as he gets between my legs again.

I look at the thing in his hand, but I’m not really paying attention. All I can see is that it’s black. I hate to admit it but I’m more rattled by him calling me baby. My mind is completely focused on that nickname. I bite my lower lip as my cock throbs, my arms shaking. It should be insane that the mere mention of that word coming from his lips has me on the verge of coming so easily. But I’m so wounded up that I think a blow of air might just push me over the edge at this point.

“Focus,” he says as he wraps my legs around his hips.

I blink hazily and focus on the black thing in his hand. It seems to be made out of rubber and it’s circular. I shake my head. I have no clue what that is.

“It’s your road to coming,” he says with a smirk. I give him a confused look. “It’s a cock ring. I want you to wear it and I’ll make you come so hard that you’ll be begging to use it the next time I fuck you.” His voice is dropping low and my legs are tightening around him as my hole clenches around nothing. I’m on fire from the way he’s looking at me and I’m willing to do anything he wants.

He’s touching my nipples and I’m gasping in need as I push my chest out for more. “Okay,” I say shakily. “Okay. Just… Now. Please. I want to come.”

He tilts his head. “Are you sure? You don’t want to know how it works?”

I’m nodding aggressively. “Yes, hurry! I trust you. Please… just make me come already,” I say desperately.

His eyes darken at my words. “You’ll love it, baby,” he says before he holds my cock in his hand and starts putting the cock ring on it, pushing it down until it’s snug against the base. I’m shivering and moaning the entire time and Niko has a possessive look on his face as he forces me to look at him. I don’t know what expression I have on my face but I’m sure I must look as desperate as I feel.

“Please,” I whisper in need.

He makes sure that we keep eye contact as he gets on his knees and takes off the condom. I’m watching him with wide eyes before my eyes drop down and I watch as his cock is freed of the condom, wet and glossy from it. His piercings look so fucking good. I don’t notice my hips are moving involuntarily until he’s holding them tight. I whine.

“Shh, gonna give you what you need,” he says in a low voice that has me throbbing madly. He’s slightly lifting my hips until his tip presses against me and he’s pushing inside slowly.

I moan loudly. My eyes roll to the back of my head as I feel his bare cock pushing inside me, opening me up for him. It’s so different from when he used the condom. Everything feels so intense and I'm hypersensitive. My nipples harden further as I feel his piercings nudge against my walls and my back arches wantonly as my thighs tremble around his hips. I’m scared I’ll come just from this. “Oh God!” I’m yelling without restraint, my hands pushing against the headboard, needing to feel him inside me completely.

Niko is groaning above me as he pushes the last inches inside. He’s throbbing inside me and I can feel every twitch. I’m salivating as I moan deliriously, tightening harshly around him. My cock is throbbing and spewing more precum.

This is the only way he should fuck me, I think as I watch him above me dazedly.

Niko is holding me tightly as he circles his hips. His hair is loose and I want to drag my fingers through them. His abs are clenching and his muscles are bulging. He looks so good and I can’t stop clenching around him. Just the sight of him like this has me going crazy.

“You’re so fucking tight,” he says in a rough voice, his grip tightening. “Gonna fuck you, baby.”

I moan and try to muffle my sounds against my shoulder as he pulls back and pushes back in immediately. He doesn’t take it slow and starts fucking me hard and fast. My hands are shaking with every hard slam of the headboard against the wall. It’s so fucking good and I can’t stop moaning his name each time he slams his hips against my ass.

He hits my prostate on the way in and I moan loudly as I feel his piercings hit them again and again with each thrust. My cock is releasing more precum as I push down against Niko’s thrusts, needing to feel him inside deeper.

I’m surprised I haven’t come from the way he’s fucking me. My cock keeps throbbing and more wetness is released but I don’t come. I can’t come. “Niko!” I moan wantonly as I spread my legs wider for him. Tears are slipping out of my eyes as he keeps fucking me and I can’t come. I can’t fucking come. “Please, please!” I beg shamelessly as I move my body around in need.

“Fuck,” Niko growls before he leans over me and sucks on my nipples.

I scream and arch my back. I’m tightening hard around him. “Niko,” I cry out as he keeps fucking me.

“You’re so fucking good for me,” he says as he kisses his way up to my neck, sucking harshly and leaving his marks on my skin.

I’m trembling in his hold as heat consumes me. I can’t stop tightening around him and he’s turning me into a mess with every touch, every snap of his hips, every kiss along my body. “Niko, you said— I need— Let me,” I say incoherently, trying to speak properly through every thrust. But he feels too good.

“I’ll let you, baby. You’ll come,” he says against my ear and his hair cascades around him as he pulls back and looks at me. He stops moving and I wrap my legs around him tightly, refusing to let him pull out this time.

“Don’t you dare!” I cry out desperately as more tears slip out unbiddenly. But he looks content with staying inside me like that.

“Just one last thing to resolve,” he says in an aggressive voice.

“Everything’s resolved,” I say through heavy breaths, moving my hips in circles and he’s throbbing inside me but he doesn’t stop me. I don’t know why he’s stopping when he’s so close too. What else is there to talk about really?

“No.” He keeps staring at me before his eyes drop down. He’s looking at my lips and he looks furious.

I give him a cautious look. I don’t think I can handle more of Angry Niko tonight. Will he let me come at all? More tears spill at the thought of not coming. My body is shaking from the constant way he’s been playing with me. He said he would let me come and now I’m starting to doubt it.

He makes a noise at the back of his throat. “Why don’t you want me to kiss you?” He asks angrily.

I blink at him through my tears. “I do,” I whisper hoarsely.

He gives me an annoyed look. “You said no kissing.”

“I couldn’t let you. I shouldn’t,” I try to explain.

“Why?” He asks bitterly.

“Because…” I trail off as I bite my bottom lip to stop it from wobbling.

He tilts his head. “Because?” He asks more softly.

“Because it would make things harder. Because if I taste you again, I won’t want to let you go,” I whisper, looking away.

He grabs my throat, rubbing his thumb along my jaw. I stare at him in longing. “Who says you have to?” He asks as he leans in.

I turn my face to the side.

Niko growls above me and turns my face, leaning in again.

“Don’t…” I whisper before he can press his lips to mine.

“Why?” He asks, pulling back slightly.

I can tell it’s taking him a lot of effort to not take what he wants. I choose to be honest with him. “We’re not together, Niko. Don’t make this harder on me when the night ends,” I say quietly.

“We are fucking together,” he says angrily before he pulls out of my body. I whimper at the feeling as tears fall from the sensitivity that spreads across my body and I’m wondering if I upset him so much that he won’t let me come now. “You said it yourself. We resolved everything.”

I shake my head. “But what about Lan?”

“What about him?”

“You can’t stand him,” I state obviously.

He shrugs. “What does that have to do with us?”

“Everything!” I cry out. “He’s my brother, Niko. You tried to make me choose last time. I refuse to do that.” Niko glares but listens as I speak. “You can’t do that to me. You can’t make me choose. You two are never going to get along and I don’t want to think about you hurting him again in the future for whatever reason… I can’t.”

Niko looks at me and tries to digest my words properly. “I won’t touch him,” he says after a few seconds of silence. “He… saved my sister. I get that they love each other, okay? And I lost you for weeks because of him. I’m not going to fucking lose you again because of that asshole.”

His words hit me deep. Would he really let everything go? “Niko…”

“What?” He asks begrudgingly.

“Will you really let him be? You’ll be fine with him?”

“I won’t be fine with him. I’m not sure we’ll ever get along, but I can be cordial. For you. For Mia. He and I can learn how to stand one another.”

I let my hands down and grasp his shoulders tightly, watching him with wide, hopeful eyes. “Do you really mean that?” I whisper.

“Yes,” he says as he kisses my forehead softly. “I’m not going to fucking lose you. I promise to be on my best behavior around him. I’ll ignore him. I’ll… forget what he did.”

I can see the struggle of him saying those last few words, but he means it. I can tell from his expression and the look in his eyes. My heart is beating like a hummingbird in my chest as hope blooms inside of me dangerously.

“And you’ll never make me choose again?” I ask to make sure.

“Never again,” he confirms. “I’m sorry I did that. I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have done a lot of things that day. I was on my high and I was supposed to stay away from you. I wasn’t supposed to fuck you against a tree outside of the mansion and leave.”

My hands tighten on him. I knew something was wrong, but not to what extent. He was struggling and I wasn’t able to help him. My heart clenches at the thought. That can’t happen again.

“It’s okay, I forgive you,” I say softly, taking in his sincere apology. “Next time, don’t leave or try to stay away from me. I want to help you.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he says reluctantly.

“Why not?”

“I punched you,” he says with a sudden anger that takes me by surprise.

I wrap my arms around him to give him a hug. Our cocks rub against each other and I moan at the sensation, my body shaking against his, but I pull away to stay focused. “It wasn’t on purpose,” I say a little breathlessly.

“Even so,” he says as he looks at me with dark eyes. “That won’t be happening again. Ever.”

I believe him, without a doubt. He won’t hurt me again. I nod. “I trust you.”

He groans at my words. “Fuck, I love that,” he growls as he grinds against me, almost like he can’t stop himself. He’s leaning in closer as I moan in the space between us. He stops a breath away from my lips. “We’re okay?” He whispers.

I don’t answer with words. I close the distance between us and I shudder in his hold as I get to feel his lips against mine again. He moans and traces my lower lip with his tongue, but I pull back before we can go further.

Niko groans dejectedly, holding my hips tightly as he keeps grinding against me. I moan keenly at every drag off his cock against mine. “What is it?” He asks, looking at my lips. He doesn’t stop moving his hips.

I just need to hear him say it. I need to make sure. I can barely speak properly from his movements, moaning keenly as I ask, “We’re together?”

“We never stopped being together, baby,” he says fiercely. “It’s you and I. We’ll be together until the day we stop breathing. And even then, we’ll be together after death. No one’s taking you away from me. You’re mine,” he says possessively, grabbing me tighter.

“You’re mine too,” I say as I drag my hand through his hair and pull.

He groans and kisses me hard, our lips colliding harshly. He slips his tongue inside and I shudder as I moan. He’s still grinding our cocks together. And my nipples are sensitive as they press against his chest. I suck his tongue and he tastes so good. I haven’t tasted him in weeks and it's like I just got a hit of my ultimate drug. He’s addictive. I can’t get enough of him. And as he pulls away, I chase his lips. Wanting more, needing more.

I can’t believe I debated if I could feel this with anyone else. I can’t believe I almost let someone else kiss me to see if I could feel the same way I do when Niko kisses me. I already know I never will. Only he can make me feel this way.

“What?” Niko asks, voice tight.

I make a noise of confusion as I lean forward for more but he keeps his mouth away from me.

He speaks in a deep voice. “What did you say?”

“What?” I blink dazedly.

“Who did you kiss?” Anger simmers in his voice.

I blink multiple times. “Who did I— What?”

“You kissed someone?” He asks.

“What?”

“Don’t make me repeat myself,” he says frigidly.

“I didn’t,” I respond hastily, shaking my head in denial. “No.”

He still looks angry.

“You tried to kiss someone?” He asks, keeping his distance.

My throat goes dry. Did I speak my thoughts out loud before?

“Yes, you did,” Niko practically growls, body getting tighter. “You always speak with a loose tongue whenever you feel good.” I do? I didn’t know that. “Who did you try to kiss?”

“Niko,” I say warily, looking around uselessly for a way out of this mess.

“Who?” He seethes.

I sigh. I already know that he won’t let it go. “Noah,” I admit quietly.

Niko’s jaw is tense and he releases a sound deep from his chest.

“But I didn’t,” I say quickly, using my hands to calm him down. I’m rubbing his arms, his chest, his neck, his face. Everywhere.

Niko doesn’t say a word as his nostrils flare.

“I didn’t kiss him, Niko. I swear,” I repeat softly, forcing him to look at me.

“But you wanted to?” He asks aggressively.

“No! It’s not that,” I say cautiously, trying to find the right words to say. “I just wanted to see if I could forget you by kissing someone else.”

“You wanted to forget me,” he repeats with a blank stare.

I don’t have time to respond when he suddenly wraps a hand around my cock and I jerk in his hold from the sudden movement. I moan at his rough touch.

He’s palming me before he starts jerking me off, his hands going up and down steadily. “You thought you could forget me?” He asks fiercely.

I grasp his shoulders tightly as I arch my back. “Niko,” I moan.

He moves his hand faster. “You thought you could forget the way I touched you?”

I want to shake my head but I’m completely lost in pleasure. I’ve been hard for so long that anything sets me off immediately. I’m already throbbing in his hold, my cock weeping as it wets Niko’s hand.

Niko’s voice penetrates the haze. “You thought you could forget the way I kissed you?”

My moans are muffled as he kisses me angrily. His tongue is in my mouth and I moan against him at the feeling, savoring his taste. He’s rubbing his tongue against mine aggressively, biting my lower lip hard afterwards. I feel my arousal spike at everything he does. The sparks in my head refuse to fizzle out as he takes and takes and takes.

I open my eyes dazedly when he slides his tongue out of my mouth. My lips are swollen and bruised from how hard he kissed me. The kiss was so wet that when he pulled away there was a string of saliva attached between us. He breaks it when he licks his lips. He can’t get enough of me either.

I hold onto the back of his neck as his hand speeds up. I’m gasping as I look at him. He looks so good in between my legs, his hair loose and that savage look on his face.

He’s so fucking hot.

“You can only stare at me like that,” he says ruthlessly, possessively. “No one else. You will never be able to forget me.”

I want to scream that I know that already, that I had to learn that the hard way. He’s not someone I could forget even if I died and was reborn again. He twists his hands around me and my eyes roll back. “Niko,” I moan as I buck up against his hand. It doesn’t matter how close I get, I can’t seem to go over the edge. I stare at the cock ring on the base of my cock and now I know why Niko wanted to use it. I’m crying as Niko continues to stroke me, not acknowledging my inner turmoil as he keeps pushing me higher and higher without a way down.

“Niko, please,” I moan desperately, tears escaping me the longer he denies my release. He doesn’t say a word, only speeds up even more and the wet sounds of him jerking me off are loud in the room. “It’s only you. I know it,” I moan and he’s watching me intensely. “I couldn’t do it because it’s only you. You’re the only one. Please, please, please!”

He releases me and I cry out as I shake my head, my cock twitching pathetically. Does he not believe me? I need him to believe me.

I try to grab him but he holds my hands down beside my head. He still looks angry but he also seems appeased. “You’ll never kiss another person but me.”

I cry as I nod. “Only you. I swear it.”

He tightens his grip on my hands before he releases me. I immediately latch on to him, needing the physical touch. “Don’t ever deny me your mouth again,” he says almost violently.

I nod as he wipes my tears.

“Say I can kiss you,” he mutters, the anger still prominent in his voice.

That’s all he’s been the entire night. Angry.

“You can kiss me,” I whisper hoarsely, my face heating up. For some reason, saying that feels more intimate than telling him to fuck me.

He makes a noise at the back of his throat. “Fuck,” he grumbles, pulling my legs around his hips. “Stay just like that,” he says as he stares at my swollen lips.

“Kiss me, Niko.” I’m practically begging at this point. I need to taste him again.

He grinds his hips against me and groans in desire.

“Please,” I whisper in the space between us.

“You’ll be the fucking death of me,” he growls before he smashes his lips on mine. It hurts, but it hurts too good for me to care. I don’t even think about resisting him as I open my mouth immediately. His tongue invades me and I’m shivering as I brush my tongue against his. Electricity runs through me and I can’t stop moaning as he kisses me harshly. He’s going hard. He’s alternating between fighting my tongue, sucking my tongue, biting my lip, licking my lip. It feels punishing. And I’m lost in it all.

I scream into his mouth when he suddenly pushes into me again, my back arching at the harsh thrust. “Niko,” I moan loudly as I pull my mouth away.

But he’s right back, pressing his mouth against mine. Not letting it go for a second. I’m breathing harshly through my nose as he devours me. I grab onto his shoulders tightly as he keeps fucking me. His thrusts are harsh and he grabs my hips to make sure I take every hit. I can’t stop moaning against his lips as he hits my prostate, the headboard smacking against the wall with every thrust. Fuck, fuck, fuck, I want to say but Niko is still kissing me.

He can’t stop kissing me. He won’t stop kissing me.

My heart is beating harshly against my chest and I can’t breathe. I need air. I force my face to the side with difficulty and Niko’s mouth leaves mine with a loud, wet sound. He’s thrusting harder as he forces me down to meet each thrust. I'm breathing in as much air as possible as he sucks harshly on my neck, trailing his tongue against my neck occasionally and making me shiver with every stroke. I arch my back and moan loudly but try to muffle my sounds, pushing my face harder to the side and smothering it with the pillow.

Niko makes a sound of anger before he stops fucking me, staying inside me completely. “Stop that. You’ve been doing that all fucking night. Don’t hide your sounds from me,” he growls impatiently.

I look at him, blinking through my haze. “Someone… might hear,” I say in between shallow breaths.

“I don’t give a fuck,” he says angrily. “You’re not taking anything else from me.”

I flinch at his words. Not kissing him really made him angrier than I thought. I grunt when he pulls out of me harshly. “Niko,” I say in confusion before he turns me on my stomach and drags me to my hands and knees.

“Gonna fuck you the way you wanted me to,” he says as an explanation before he thrusts into me in one go, grabbing my hips tightly.

My jaw drops and I let out a loud moan. His piercings are too fucking good. I feel them even more in this position. They nudge against my prostate twice before it’s too much for me and my upper body falls on the bed. Niko grabs my hair and pulls my head back, making sure every sound I release is loud in the room.

“Just like that,” he says, fucking me hard. “Love when you get so fucking loud.”

I tighten around him as he turns my head to the side and kisses me wetly, sliding his tongue into my mouth until I’m losing my mind at his taste. I press the palms of my hands against the headboard and fuck back against him hard, meeting every thrust. “Niko,” I moan loudly against his mouth as my ass recoils against his groin.

“Fuck, baby, you feel so good,” he says as he sucks my neck harshly.

I clench around him at the nickname. “Niko… Fuck… Please… Mmm,” I moan with every thrust.

His piercings keep hitting my prostate and I arch my back with a scream. My nipples are dragging harshly against the sheets, they’re so sensitive that I’m crying out and my ass is gripping Niko harshly.

“You’re so fucking tight,” he says behind me, gripping my hips tightly. I don’t doubt I’ll have marks from his hands all over my body. “You drive me crazy, baby. Only you can bring out this side of me. Keep fucking yourself back on me. Fuck! Yeah… just like that,” he moans as I do what he says.

The sounds of our bodies slapping together intensifies.

“I thought I wouldn’t have you like this again after you cut me off,” he says through a mix of harsh breaths and moans. I cry out as he gets rougher. “I wanted to chase you down and fuck you the second I returned. But you ran. I’m not letting you run from me again. Remember that,” he warns me as he aims his thrusts to my prostate.

I’m delirious with the need to come as I cry. “Niko, please!” I beg as I tighten around him.

He pulls my head back again. “You’re mine, baby,” he whispers low in my ear.

And his voice is so deep that I feel it vibrating against my skin. It heats me up in a way that I would be embarrassed about if I was in the right state of mind. Instead, I cry out and fuck myself back against him desperately. My hands are shaking with every slam of the headboard against the wall. He’s fucking me hard.

“Niko!” I yell as he hits my prostate with every thrust. “Please, please, ple— oh my God! Niko, I’m going to—” I don’t finish speaking before I tighten impossibly hard around him that he’s forced to stop thrusting. He stays deep inside me as I let out a loud scream. My orgasm is rolling through me hard as I shiver in his hold and he’s moaning at the way my ass refuses to release him.

“Fuck,” he growls behind me.

I’m pulsing around him tightly as I come down from my high, my screams turning into moans and then whimpers. Niko finally lets my hair go when I’m done. I’m shaking and I realize I didn’t actually come. My cock is still hard and throbbing. What the fuck was that? I’m practically mindless as I let my body flop completely against the bed. That was fucking intense. My body is thrumming from pleasure and still feeling the need to get my actual release.

Niko pulls out and I grunt at the sensation. Everything feels hazy in my head. My body is still twitching as he turns me around and I watch him through my tears. He’s still hard. I try to grab him so I can jerk him off, but he slaps my hand away, opens my legs and thrusts into me slowly. I whimper as my body arches.

“You just had a dry orgasm, baby,” he says with a smirk. “Ever had one before?”

Words are failing to form in my mouth. I shake my head dazedly.

“Mm,” he notes with a smile. I stare at his lips and he leans down to kiss me. I can feel his tongue in my mouth, circling and teasing mine and I take a deep breath as I respond slowly. My haze is slowly dissipating as he kisses me. I feel like I’m back in my own skin by the time he pulls away from my lips. I moan lightly and he’s fucking me slowly.

“Niko,” I moan quietly. He hits my prostate suddenly and I moan louder as I arch my back, crying as he picks up the pace.

“There’s nothing better than watching you fall apart on my cock,” Niko says with a pleased sound, fucking me harder now and I tighten my thighs around his hips.

I blush at his words. I can feel every inch sinking into me and I can’t stop my moans even if I wanted to. He feels too good. I grab his bulging arms as he lays them by my waist, trapping me in. My eyes are rolling back as he keeps saying dirty words into my ears and I arch my back, pushing my chest against his. He makes me so fucking crazy. I can’t recognize myself sometimes.

His lips are on mine again and I meet his tongue with every stroke as he thrusts hard into me. I’m floating in a cloud of pleasure as the sound of his body meets mine and echoes in the room. My cock is throbbing and it’s so wet that there’s a small pool of my precum against my base and the cock ring.

Niko licks my nipples and a loud scream leaves my lips. They’re too sensitive now and I tremble immediately. He pulls away and curses above me loudly, not caring who hears him. I feel him getting thicker and twitching inside me. That feels so good and my eyes are rolling to the back of my head as I moan higher and louder.

“Fuck, baby!” He says as he grips my thighs, spreading me wider and fucking me harder, going deeper. “I’m going to fucking come, fuck!”

I don’t know what sounds are escaping my mouth but I want him to come. And I want to come too. I cry as I tug his hair with one hand. “I want to—”

“Go ahead and take it off, baby. You did so fucking good for me,” he says hotly before kissing me wetly. I moan at the praise and cry against him. He’s pulling back, shushing me even as he fucks me harder. “You’re my good boy. Take it off, baby. Need to feel you coming around me again.”

Every word out of his mouth ignites me. The nicknames and praise feed a part of me deep down that I didn’t know existed. His hips are slapping against my ass so hard and it hurts, but I keep meeting every thrust needily.

He’s watching me intensely as I let my hand wander down and take the cock ring off slowly, moaning the entire time. He seems to go crazy at the sight as he fucks me hard. I tighten around him as I let the cock ring fall to the side and place my hands against the headboard again, pushing down to meet his thrusts. I need to come.

“Niko,” I moan out desperately, feeling every throb of my cock and I’m ready to burst. My body is playing a push and pull game with me. I feel like he’s not thrusting fast enough one second and the next I need him to slow down.

He keeps cursing as he fucks me faster, moaning louder than the sounds of the headboard, and I move around trying to get him to slow down but I can’t speak as he speeds up uncontrollably. My jaw drops as I tighten around him. I moan his name and I’m going to come. I can feel it right there, I just need a push.

Niko thrusts against my prostate and I get closer as my thighs tremble in his hold and my back arches slightly. “Niko, Niko!” I’m yelling.

“Fuck!” He groans out, thrusting harshly. He’s gripping me open for him and the sight makes me harder, twitching wildly. He looks unhinged and possessive as he fucks me. His piercings keep nudging my prostate and I’m moaning loudly. “You’re so fucking good, baby. Fucking ruined me for anyone else. Oh fuuuuck,” he moans out recklessly as he suddenly pushes deep and settles inside, his nails digging into my thighs. He’s cursing and moaning frantically as he finally comes inside me, his hips unable to stop jerking as he comes.

I’m screaming as he comes inside of me. My back is arching harshly now and I can’t even look at Niko above me as my eyes roll to the back of my head at the sensation. My body is vibrating as he growls and pumps his hips forward wanting to get deeper but unable to. I’m crying out at his thrusts and it feels so hot. I can feel every twitch and his piercing deep inside me.

Feeling him come undone inside me is all I need to push me over the edge. I scream his name the loudest I have all night, practically yelling the house down as I come. It’s too intense and I can’t stop crying even as I get my release. Niko’s noises are muted in my ears as I clench tighter around him, milking him for every drop. My body doesn’t feel like my own as I move around, twitching and trembling, feeling overwhelmed by pleasure. Everything feels like too much and not enough at the same time. There’s a bite against my neck and I’m forced to stay still so I can take the animalistic thrusts inside me as more come gushes inside. I shiver as I keep screaming Niko’s name until I can’t scream anymore.

I feel the wetness against my stomach and chest from my release. I’m trembling and I’m hyperaware of my skin as I keep spurting across my body. I can feel the sweat beads rolling down the side of my face as the rest cools down against my skin. My nipples are aching and swollen. My thighs are shaking in Niko’s hold. I feel hot and cold as I come down from my second orgasm, my body limp against the bed and in his hold. My tears haven’t stopped and my heart feels like it’s about to burst out of my chest. At least my ears don’t feel like they’re underwater anymore. I can hear his praise as I come back to my senses.

“God, baby, fuck,” he’s murmuring before leaning forward and kissing me roughly, taking advantage of my open mouth to slide his tongue inside. I’m shivering against him as he takes my tongue prisoner and kisses me wetly.

“Wish I could fuck you again,” he says against my lips, completely insatiable. Everything gets him up and going in seconds. “You won’t be able to take it though. I would actually break your ass.” He sounds disappointed and I don’t know if I would mind another round just so that he doesn’t sound like that. But I just want to curl in his arms and lay there. “Okay, baby,” he says softly as he wipes my tears away and kisses me again.

My legs are being pulled down to the sheets and I groan against his mouth. He distracts me with his tongue and I can barely feel it when he pulls his cock out. I moan as his come slides out of me and he pulls away from me to look at the view.

“So fucking perfect,” he says, completely entranced. I would usually be embarrassed at him looking so openly down there, but I’m completely spent. “Don’t move, baby,” he says as he leaves the bed.

I don’t think much time passes but my eyes closed without me noticing. I feel a wet towel against my skin, cleaning me up and I groan as my legs are forced open. Niko shushes me gently as he presses the towel softly against me and cleans me up.

It’s over a few seconds later and he’s pulling me into his arms and maneuvering us to the other side of the bed. He lays my head against his chest as he wraps an arm around my waist, holding me tight to his body. I sigh in content as he wraps a thin blanket around us. Being in his arms feels like home. I missed him so much.

“Me too, lotus flower,” he says as he presses a kiss against my forehead. I missed that nickname. “I missed you too.”

My eyes open slightly, trying to stay awake now that I’m back here with him. I wrap my arm around him tight and breathe him in. My desire to sleep completely disappears as I watch with wide eyes as Nikolai takes my wrist in his hold. My body tightens and my breath ceases as he removes my watch with one hand. He rubs his thumb over the bandage quietly before slowly peeling the bandage off halfway. He makes a pleased sound and I can feel how it vibrates in his chest. My eyes water and a strangled sound escapes me as he kisses my wrist softly. I watch through my tears as he puts the bandage on correctly and places my watch back on my wrist.

“I haven’t…” I can’t speak properly.

Niko tilts my face up and kisses me. It’s the most softest and sweetest kiss he’s ever given me. I feel like putty in his hands as my heart beats wildly. He pulls away slowly from my lips. “I’m proud of you, baby,” he whispers.

My heart is glowing at his words and I can’t bear to look into his eyes anymore. I duck my head and hug him tightly as I nod into his chest.

Niko doesn’t push me or force me to talk as he kisses the top of my head, playing with my hair softly before settling his hand on his chest, right on top of mine. I stare at our hands for a long time. The knot in my stomach eases as he intertwines our fingers together.

But that only last a few seconds as my eyes roam his chest and I inhale sharply as I take in the new tattoo on him. On the spot that used to be empty. There’s a lotus flower and beneath it reads Property of B. King. I let his hand go and trace the tattoo with my fingers, feeling many different emotions at the same time.

“Niko,” I stare up at him in shock.

He gives me another wet kiss and I kiss him possessively. My heart wants to beat out of my chest. I don’t want to stop licking into his mouth, but I force myself to pull back. “When?” I ask raggedly.

“The day I went to the mansion.”

“Why?” I ask quietly.

He gives me a look. “You know why.”

My throat goes dry at the unsaid words and I look back at his tattoo. I lean my head on his chest as I trace it again, wanting to take the moment in, needing the significance of this to sink deep into my bones.

I do too, I want to say but I’m scared.

“I wasn’t kidding before,” Niko breaks the serene silence that encompasses us, caressing my back with a hand. “I’m not letting you run from us again.”

I nod. I’m not planning to run from us or him. After that talk I had with my parents, I feel more at peace than before. My demons are not gone yet but they’re more bearable than they were before. They can try to sink me under but I will fight back. I deserve to be happy. I deserve Niko.

“I won’t,” I tell him softly, hugging him tight as I wrap my leg around him. “I’ll tell Lan.”

“You… will?” He asks in surprise.

I hate the surprise in his voice. I hate that he thinks he’s not good enough for me to tell people about. I hate that I’ve made him feel like he wasn’t good enough in any way when the real issue lies within me. “Yes. Niko,” I say as I push myself up on my forearms, making sure to look into his eyes as I say my next words. “I’ve never been embarrassed about you. I’m the problem and I’ve come to terms with it. I’m taking the necessary steps to feel better about being different, I guess. I already told my friends about you.”

He inhales sharply. “You did what?” He asks, his eyes wide.

“I told them weeks ago,” I say quietly. “It was the day you… it was the day of Mia and Maya’s birthday party.” Niko’s body is taut as he realizes what I was about to say before I backtracked. I stroke his chest to distract him. “But we stopped speaking by then. And I tried to tell you when you came over to the mansion but you…”

“Fucked you against the tree and left you like an asshole?” He finishes.

I shrug as I lay back on his chest.

He kisses the top of my head in apology. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Just don’t leave me in the dark again,” I order. He chuckles but he practically chokes at my next words. “We have to be open with one another. I’m not hiding you anymore either. I’ll speak to Lan soon. Also, I told my parents about you.”

Niko shoots out of the bed, pushing me up with him and I groan at the sting in my ass from his sudden movements. “Nikolai!” I exclaim in pain.

“Sorry, baby, fuck!” He says as he turns towards me and looks at me with wide eyes. He’s holding my face in his hands now. “Did you just say that you told your parents?”

I nod.

“You told your parents about me?” He asks again.

I sigh. “Yes, Niko. Please let’s lay down, my body is sore,” I say grumpily.

I don’t think he heard anything I said except the first word. “You told your parents about me? About us?” He’s like a broken record. Maybe I broke him somehow by saying that.

I grab his face and he drops his hands, completely focused on me. “Niko, you were never the problem. I was never ashamed of you,” I reiterate slowly. “Of course I told my parents about you. And we weren’t even together at that point.” I take a big breath, looking at my watch and I can feel my scars burn. “I know you want to understand why I… do what I do. I’m working on things within myself and I want to be open with you, but it’s hard. Can you give me some time? I just need a few weeks. I want to tell you everything.”

He has a dreamy expression on his face and I watch the biggest smile break out on his face. My breath hitches at the sight. I want to make him this happy for as long as I can, for as long as he’ll have me. “Yes,” he says so gleefully that I can’t do anything but stare like an idiot. “I’ll always wait for you.”

I practically jump him as I kiss him hard, groaning into the kiss from the soreness in my body but also from the taste of him on my tongue. He’s surprised but he takes the lead within seconds, pushing my body down as he gets on top of me. I moan as he licks inside my mouth and tremble with every stroke of his tongue against mine. I’m completely weak for him.

“Baby,” he says, grinding down on me and he’s hard again. He really is insatiable.

“Niko,” I say in shock as I look down at his cock standing upright, his piercings looking gorgeous at his tip.

“What can I say? All it takes is one look from you and I get hard immediately,” he says like it’s common sense.

“I don’t think I can take you again,” I say honestly.

“I know, you’re sore,” he says with a cocky tone that makes me pinch him on the arm. “Ow, I’m just saying.” He has a silly grin on his face and I can’t help but smile at him.

His mouth parts and he grinds down against me. “That smile does things to me,” he says in a low voice before he kisses me.

My cock is twitching like a traitor, starting to show interest. Settle down, I think to myself.

“I gotta have you again, baby. After everything you said, I can’t hold back,” he moans against my lips, kissing me in between every other word like he can’t get enough. Neither can I. “Think of it as my birthday gift.”

I groan against him. “Yeah…” I give in immediately like a sucker. “Happy birthday, Niko,” I whisper against his lips and there’s a dark, possessive look that crosses his face before he breathes in deeply and it’s gone.

He groans and kisses me again, hard and wet. He sucks my tongue and I grab his hair, pulling and tugging it as we fight for dominance. He bites my lower lip suddenly and I moan heavily.

“We’re going to go all night long, baby,” he says as he breaks away. He thumbs the side of my lip. “My birthday fuck fest,” he says in excitement. I’m worried about how much I can handle before he keeps speaking. He’s dragging his hands up from my hips to my waist and back down slowly. “But I know you’re sore. There are a lot of ways to come without having penetrative sex. We’re going to try out a lot of things, if you’re down for it.”

“Okay,” I say with a nod, excitement flooding my veins even though I was tired just minutes ago. That’s what Niko does to me.

“I’ll fuck you when you feel less sore,” he says before biting my bottom lip.

“I want to ride you next time,” I say as soon as he releases my lip.

He groans in agony. “Baby, how can you just—” He groans again and kisses me hard. I have no idea what he was about to say, but I can’t bother asking him to finish his thought when he’s kissing me so thoroughly. He’s tonguing me down ruthlessly and I get harder against his hips, moaning wantonly when he flicks my sensitive nipples with his fingers.

“Niko,” I gasp shakily, breaking away from him. My chest is up against him but he holds me down and pulls away.

“Have you ever heard of intergluteal sex?” He asks as he gets on his knees, fisting his cock in a tight fist. “AKA hotdogging?”

I watch as he strokes his hand up and down harshly. I forgot that he asked me a question until he repeats it. I lick my lips and I don’t look away from him as I shake my head.

He makes a sound. “Get on your hands and knees, baby,” he says as he lets himself go. His cock is huge and it’s completely erect, his piercings glinting with his precum.

I pout unconsciously at the show ending and he kisses my lips with a chuckle. I’m licking into his mouth as I wrap my hand around his cock, feeling it throb in my hold. He moans loudly against me and I stroke him up and down a few times, flicking my thumb over his pierced tip. He wrenches his mouth away from the wet kiss, looking desperate and like he can barely hold himself back. “Hands and knees, baby,” he repeats roughly. “Need to feel you around me again.”

He turns me around and gets me into position with quick and steady hands, completely different from me who’s shaking in anticipation. “You’ll be begging to get fucked soon enough,” he whispers in my ear and I moan as he places himself in between my cheeks. “Ready?”

I nod. “Yeah, Niko… Please.”

“Already begging,” he says with a chuckle, before he holds me tightly by my hips and starts moving his cock along my sensitive rim. I moan at the sensation as he starts slow and then speeds up.

Niko was right though. I don’t last long before begging him to fuck me. He practically doesn’t let me sleep from the way he puts me in different positions after each round, ready to go again and again and again.

At the end of it, his bed is wet from our release and his come leaking out of me. He’s too tired to get up and I can barely move as it is. He has me in a position that has me blushing to the roots of my hair. I have one leg over his hip, my face in his neck and I can feel his come leaking out of me and landing on his groin.

“Want to feel that and wake up sticky from it,” he whispered as he moved me into position and I simply let him do as he pleased while my face turned bright red.

When the sun rises, I’m finally falling asleep against him. More than exhaustion, I’m hopeful for what’s to come. Niko and I will finally be happy together, out in the open and without a care of what others will say. I smile at the thought and cuddle closer to him. We have a long way to go, there are things I still have to confront and tell him about. But for right now… I don’t mind spending the rest of my life with him, just like this.

Notes:

You made it down here??? YOU'RE AMAZING!! Thank you for reading 💖

This is my second time writing smut and it's very hard for me you guys lol so it might be a while before I write another one, sorry! 😩

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