Chapter Text
Epiphany.
Chapter 1
Hia.
It is a normal day on the Theerapanyakul family compound or at least as normal as it can be with the whole tsunami of changes it had endure for the last year or so, the bodyguards doing their shifts, the family members doing their own schedule expect for a single one who can’t do as he wants.
"Can I have a kiss now?". He asks San for the million time; he sees the way his eyes get smaller with unrestricted laughter.
"Just a couple of days, Kim". San says as he takes more blood for even more tests, Kim is so fucking done.
"I really want to kiss Chay, and hug hia and Phi, I want to go out with pretty smile, Ve-Ve said he could teach me to ride a bike again".
"You will be able to go out soon, with masks and some restrictions but soon, I promise". San says as he makes him put pressure on the spot where he took the samples so it doesn’t start bleeding, he had a minor bleed just a that same week when he didn’t press enough time, his erythrocytes and plaquettes were getting up slowly but he was under the right amount and he will be for some time.
Kim pouts but he knows he needs to follow the rules, the transplant worked as much as all they pray for, he is cancer free but he still needs some medicines and time, over everything, he needs time and be patient.
"Can Ve-ve bring me some food? He said he cooked something for Macau". San finally breaks from his quiet self, starting to laugh, it is a high, deep and rich laugh that brings a smile on Kim's face.
"Sure, he can but..." Getting closer, San whispers. "Tell him you want a double plate".
"But I don't eat that much ". Kim answers completely confused.
"No, but I really want to taste the dishes of your other brother, if it tastes as good as it smells then...". San makes a face that makes it impossible for Kim to not burst out laughing, he knew it! San wanted to eat Vegas delicious food!
“I will tell him that, I promise!” Kim says as the laughter quiets down, San is still smiling when the check up ends.
“Thank you, your lungs are just fine, there are no problems in there, also your heart is getting stronger day by day, there are no traces of the chemo issues”. Kim nods taking his notepad to write just that, he is getting better on his mind but he sometimes tends to forget or get confused with the whole issue or hard words.
“Can Chay get in?”. Kim asks with his best puppy eyes.
“Sure, just remember Kim”. San starts and Kim mocks him. “No kisses, not taking off his face mask, no more than an hour”.
With a pout he nods, it had been a torture to wait for a kiss, to not grab his angel by the neck and get those red, pretty lips on his own, he had to be strong and wait, San goes to the door laughing at his face but Kim ignores him, he takes the notebook, the one with his old songs reading, he had the notebook after the second visit of Kinn, he was surprised when his brother said he might need to wait before reading it but he passed the opinion, it was his own writing and soul so… why would he had to wait for reading his own notebook?
He discovered it some days later, passing the pages absently he got to a place where the page was full of lyrics crossed out with so much force that he could feel how the paper was about to be torn, he didn’t read what was in there at the moment but now, he was way calmer now and he could ask Chay once he get in here, finding the right page, he stares at it, trying to discern what is written under the stripes.
why? is one of the words written all over, frowning he keeps trying, brother, betrayed, love hmm, maybe that was meant as he loves his brother and hates that someone betrayed him? He kind of remembers some troubles with his brother and a guy, he can’t recall his face or name but Kim knows he was a bad person.
“If you keep frowning that much, it would make you get older soon”. Hearing that makes him forget the damn book to look up and see Porsche in there, he has a big bucket of roses that make him happier.
“Pretty smile!” Kim screams trying to climb out the bed, Porsche if fast to drop the flowers on the table so he can carry him, his freaking legs are still cramping, such a horrible sequel. “You came! I missed you! Are those for me? Is Chay coming? Is Kinn coming? Ve-Ve said he cooked, is he coming too!?”
“Woah, slow down little man, too many questions”. Porsche laughs putting him on the bed fixing his face mask, his eyes sparkle with amusement and, making Kim worry, tiredness. “Yes, the flowers are for you, a friend of yours brought them, I missed you too that’s why I came first, Chay is outside waiting for me the doctor to give him green light, he has a small allergy to bougainvillea and we cross a couple on our way here, San is checking if he is not sick, which he isn’t but still”.
“Are those the red and pink flowers? I don’t remember how those looks, Mama was the one who adored flowers and art, can we go to a place with a lot of flowers when I can go out?”. Kim keeps pressing too excited to wait, Porsche laughs again.
“Okay, Kinn is coming later, maybe at night he had some meetings but he wanted me to tell you that he loves you and that you need to eat all the food and be good, Vegas is letting Chay bring the food for you”. Pretty smile answers the former questions and Kim giggles, they’re best friends now, he loves his friend. “Yeah, the bougainvillea tend to be red or pink and yeah, when you are cleared to go we will go around the city and even to the beach and more, I can show you were I used to work”.
Porsche sits on the bed making him lay down before taking his leg to stars his stretching and movement to it, San had explained how to do his therapy to all of them, he needed to bring his mobility once again to his limbs the seizures were becoming more and more absent which was a perfect thing but he had troubles walking, the last day before he woke in this room isolated still made him shake out of fear.
“Porsche?”. He whispers as the small massage on his muscles keep going before he is made bend his leg, then put as much force as he could on it.
“Yeah? What is it kiddo? Am I hurting you?”. He denies shaking his head, Porsche stops to look at him.
“Is… Papa is alive?” He whispers biting his lip, is he allowed to ask? Maybe not but Pretty smile never got mad or not at him, just Kinn and Korn.
“Why are you asking, little man?”. Porsche continues with his massage but Kim can see how tense he is, how he is trying to hide his anger.
“I… I don’t want him to hurt me”. He whispers, the way he is right now, his legs, his fear… it was because of Korn and Kim didn’t want to keep fighting, he wanted to be free, to be safe.
“We won’t let that happen, kiddo, I am so sorry to had come so late last time but that won’t happen again, no one will hurt you again”. Porsche promises now changing his leg, doing the same to the left one, it hurt to move that one even more.
“But… Then, he IS alive?”. He asks again putting both hand on his thigh, he whimpers when a small spark of pain goes up from his ankle to his waist.
“Sorry, I need to stretch it good and long.” Porsche apologizes, Kim nods, he knows it is mean to help even when his leg cramps now and then. “Yeah… He… Kinn and Vegas are taking care of it”. Pretty smile finally answers, if he notices the chill that goes down his body, he doesn’t mention it.
“Is the evil man alive too?”. Kim whispers after a long silence between them, Porsche keep moving with the massage now getting up to his waist and down all over again.
“The evil man?”. Porsche looks at him confused.
“S-Seth”. Kim mumbles looking at the ceiling, there is a deep terror inside his head with the merely thought of that man, he is an evil one, he hates Kim.
“Yeah, he is too but… not for long”. The way Pretty Smile talks makes him look, Porsche has a fierce look on his face, he looks more than angry but even like that, Kim is not afraid, he could never be afraid of his family.
“Is… Cau said Ve-Ve had a dungeon where he handled the family matters, is he there?”.
“What have you been talking with Macau, kiddo? You are supposed to be getting better and focus on that”. Porsche says with his brother face on, Kim pouts.
“They are making me remember”.
“And is it working?”.
“I know they are evil!”. He almost screams making Porsche chuckle. “And… I don’t know, maybe that will help”.
“I’m sure you’ll get all your memories back, kiddo”.
Porsche barely ends his sentence when a excited Porchay gets inside, Kim squeals like the kid he is not but he missed his boyfriend so, so much! Said boyfriend climbs on the bed hugging him so tight that Porsche has to let him go so they both can cuddle, Kim is under the other enjoying the crushing with a laugh.
“P’Kim! San almost didn’t let me in! I said it was allergy but he insisted! I missed you so much!”
“Chay… You both saw each other two days ago”. Porsche reminds them with a pleased smile now sitting on the sofa a little far from the bed.
“Is too long!”. Both males on the bed scream laughing when the realize, Kim moves till he is laying on Porchay chest, the teenager seem to had another grow spurt, in Kim makes the math, he might be half a head taller than him already, it makes something inside his chest move, it makes a funny tingly feeling start on his belly.
“You two are so sweet it hurts; I might get jealous and ask Kinn for that kind of scenes”. Porsche continues while they smile, well, at least Kim knows Chay is doing it by the way his eyes get smaller.
“I left the food on the table before coming in, hia”. Chay tells his brother nuzzling his covered face on Kim’s neck, it makes him giggle, just one week, one more week and he can have that kiss.
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“Is that all you got? What a pussy”. Is what Kinn hears once he enters the cell, Big on his back has a complicated face, he is not sure if it is angriness or pity.
“You have balls for someone tied up and missing some fingers.” His cousin voice answers, Kinn feels a chill go down his back, he has no remorse from what Vegas is doing to the man but still it reminds him why his cousin was the one who handled that.
“Vegas?”. He asks now standing right in front of the cell, from that point he sees the blood covered body of Seth who, at hearing his voice, straightness on the table where he is tied up.
“Look who is here! The one and only! The one that pushed that kid into my willing arms!” The man cannot say more when Vegas is piercing his leg with a needle full of a weird substance.
“Kinn, what is it?” They hear and see as Seth starts to lose consciousness, some males dress up with a similar attire as him come to retrieve him, it is going to take more time for Vegas to let him die, too damn long.
“Porsche says my brother asked for you, I was hoping you can come”. Big and him take a step back when the other comes out, the bloody attire is dripping, they follow the other on their way up to the main area of the second family house.
“Yeah, let me take a bath, I made tiramisu yesterday, he might want it”.
It used to shock him how… different Vegas could be, torture someone on the morning and making pastries at night, taking the tooth of a poor soul before going and cuddle Kim to sleep, the two versions where completely opposite but it was how his cousin was, Kinn had understood a lot in the last six months, more since Kimm got on the ICU, now he can see that his little brother was similar to Vegas, a successful singer while being his father soldier and hostage, he sometimes has nightmares from the fights and bad things he said to Kim.
“Are you okay, Khun Kinn?”. Big asks sensing his distress, Mek asked for a day to get his health checkup, Kinn made sure all the family and close ones were evaluated now.
“Just… having some second thoughts, Big”. The both of them got closer too, his guard having a boyfriend now makes their relation even smoother, Minho was good for Big. “You were there on that day”. He says looking at the garden on the middle of the mansion, their own garden on the compound was different and so similar at the same time, like the cousins.
“That day… You mean, when Kimmy left the compound?” Big asks still looking at him.
“When he ran away, you heard it”. Kinn keeps pressing, now looking at his guard, the man doesn’t move an inch. “You never told me a thing about it or where he was”.
“It was not my place, sir, it is still not my place”.
“Still, now that you are closer to Kim it might be hard for you not to say some things to my face, I know I’m not the best brother but…”
“Khun Kim always loved you, Khun, not even a single day he stopped”. Big interrupts him. “Even on his worst days with the leukemia he called for you, I think you need to talk to him, to apologize before he remembers”.
“I’m planning to do it; my words just get… I don’t know, every time I try, I feel like I’m going to lose him all over again, like I will mess it all up”. He knows, Kim might hate him all over again once he remembers that day, the moment he fucked up so bad that his brotherhood was never the same.
“Better to do it yourself and not let him get the wrong idea, Khun, like you said I became closer to Kim with time and I know that he might understand better if you tell him before he gets those memories back”.
“It has been more that five years since that day and I still don’t know where he went or how he made Papa had his back”.
“He started to play the same games as Korn, he was smarter”. Vegas’ voice makes him look at him, he has a sweater on as well as a bowl on his hands.
“What?”.
“Kim got the upper hand, that’s why he was outside the compound but never totally out of the game, like he said, it was better to still have one hand on the steering wheel”. Kinn follows Vegas with confusion on his soul.
“You knew where he went all this time?”.
“I know more of those times than you, Kinn and let me tell you, it wasn’t a pretty memory or time for your brother, what Big says is true, you might want to apologize for whatever shit you made him pass before he remembers, it might be better for your brother ship”.
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“Kinn!”. The happy scream of his brother takes the weight off his shoulders, it is such a pleasure to have him like this.
“Hey there, kitten, where you good with Porsche and Chay?”. He gets closer to Kim who is sitting on the bed, how he wants to kiss his forehead.
“Yeah, I’m always good”. Sitting next to him he sees what Kim is doing, he is looking at the notebook he had on his house, the one where he codded some ideas and got them all to understand how much of a monster Korn could be.
“Did you find something good in there?”. He asks putting his hand around his thin shoulder, he is gaining weight, Kinn has to repeat on his mind, it still fills his chest with uncertainty and worry to feel the bones and who slim Kim got.
“Someone betrayed you?”. Kim asks him looking at his face with open curiosity, Kinn’s heart stops it is now or never.
“Kimmy, we need to talk, I need to tell you some things and apologize, I wasn’t the best brother and I want to be good this time”. He sees looking at his brother eyes, Kim denies as he talks.
“Hia is the best!”
“I wasn’t but I promise, I will try everyday of my life to make it up for you, if I need to beg for forgiveness from your side, I will”. Kim keeps moving his head, denying, there are tears on his eyes.
“You don’t have to! You are here with me! You have protected me all the time!”
“Forgive me, my little kitten, because I was supposed to protect you and I did the opposite, forgive me for leaving you alone when you hated it, forgive me, for being such a horrible brother”. Kinn mumbles with tears falling down his cheeks, Kim is trying to clean his face hugging him. “I know I don’t deserve your love or comprehension Kim but you were so much better than me, you are the best of the family and I was jealous”.
“S-stop, please, hia”. Kim hiccups, just now Kinn realizes his brother is crying too, there is a light shake of his leg. “Y-you are good, y-you are hia, my hia!” Kim cries clinging to him.
“I love you, Kimmy, I will always be your hia and I will spend the rest of my existence with you, loving you like you deserve it”.