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Year 1 🎄
On the first year of their partnership, Elliot writes the names of every squad member and throws them in a bowl. Olivia’s paper has a little dent. He sees it and picks it unapologetically. He nods his head when he reads her name. Like he didn’t just pick hers on purpose. Then he looks at Munch and Jeffries and smiles to throw them off his scent. This secret santa is supposed to bring some cheer in between chasing perps and long nights at the precinct.
For days, he investigates her and what her christmases were like when she was a kid. She doesn’t give him much. He knows her story now, she told him about her mother and her conception so he doesn’t push too much. The scraps of stories he has do not make for a nice childhood. It sounds like she didn’t alway have a tree to put presents under, that most years she would have a quiet and lonely day.
On the 23rd, he drops his supplies in his locker.
On the 24th, Elliot installs a small tree and decorations on her desk. She is working the night shift while he gets to be home with his wife and kids. Munch watches him from his desk with a smile. He adds a stocking on the side of her desk and a small box under the small tree. Then, when the clock strikes 5, he leaves for Queens and makes sure to take the stairs so they don’t cross paths. “What the-” he hears her as he reaches the door of the stairwell. He turns and watches from afar the smile on her lips. Elliot nods and leaves.
Olivia doesn’t dare to touch anything on her desk. Too stunned to speak, she turns to Munch who only shrugs. She gets the gift she got for him out of her bag, a book about the biggest conspiracies of the US government, enough to feed him new stories and news theories for a decade, and gives it to the senior detective. “Happy Hanukkah, John.” She adds as she ventures to her desk and runs a hand on the stocking with her name hand stitched.
Munch leaves, Jeffries comes in, unis come and go as the night sets in. The phone doesn’t ring, so Olivia focuses on the DD5s she has to check and the report from the day before. Every few minutes, she glances at the box under the small tree sitting next to her mother’s picture.
The phone rings and they have to meet a vic at the hospital. A wife beaten by her husband over undercooked chicken and a burned pie. It takes them two hours to get a statement. She doesn’t want to press charges, so they don’t arrest him and they leave the hospital together.
The two detectives get back to the station just after midnight, frustrated and defeated. Jeffries calls for pizzas while Olivia stares at the box on her desk. She finally grabs it and takes five minutes for herself and the box in the cribs. She unwraps it carefully, untying the small bow, ripping the paper slowly. She opens the box to reveal a keychain with little trinkets: a star, a small NYPD shield, her badge number, a little christmas tree and stocking. Olivia smiles as her thumb traces the tiny ornaments. She goes back to her desk, gets her house keys and secures the keychain on them.
***
Year 4 🎁
On the fourth year of their partnership, a baby dies, he kills a man and they play husband and wife. Olivia wears a dress in a bar and for a second he forgets he is undercover and he wishes he could get her a drink and offer her a dance. Once IAB is done with their investigation, he is so exhausted he almost forgets about the squad’s secret santa. He just got his badge and gun back and they want him to see the shrink. He is definitely not in the mood for christmas.
Once again, he picked Olivia’s name in the bowl on the 1st of December. He doesn’t rig the game per say, he only makes sure that he’s the one writing the names and folding the papers and that he is the first one to pick.
He has all but forgotten about shopping for the holidays but he manages to run to the jewelry store for Kathy’s gift. He finds her a new necklace with a pretty white diamond, but then, he sees the earrings. A beautiful golden set with dangling pearls. He thinks of Olivia’s neckline in the dress she wore in the bar and how they’d be perfect with her short hair. He shakes the thought out of his head. He gets the gifts wrapped and packed in his coat before his lunch break is over.
Elliot drops the earrings in the stocking he gifted her that first year, the one she hangs on her desk every year now. He doesn’t say a word when she checks it before leaving for the night on the 24th. Olivia reaches inside and finds the small box, her head shoots up and she questions him with an arched brow. He only smiles. She opens the box, her breath catching in her throat. “They’re beautiful, Elliot.” He stands and grabs his coat. He shoots her a smile. “Merry Christmas, Liv.” She wants to reach for him, give him a gift too, do something to thank him, but she drew Cragen’s name this year. She never seems to be the one getting him gifts.
Elliot drives her back to her place and she squeezes his hand when she exits the car. She has an early start tomorrow, she took the 25th’s shift so he could spend the day with Kathy and the kids.
***
Year 7 💎
On the seventh year of their partnership, her heart is shattered by a kid’s loss, so he brings the twins to the squad room to decorate her desk on the 22nd. Olivia finds the little trio setting up the tiny tree, ornaments and her stocking. She leaves them be and only comes back to her desk when Lizzie is throwing tinsels on her chair. Elliot cringes at the mess but Olivia smiles at the girl’s passion.
They both work over the weekend. Elliot’s kids are with Kathy at her sister’s for a whole week. It’s a nice change to have her partner with her for Christmas.
She goes to the bathroom to wash her hands after they share a greasy pizza over DD5s. When she comes back, she finds a present on the file she was reading. She looks at Elliot, he is already looking at her with a grin on his face.
“I didn’t get your name for the Secret Santa.” She states. He shrugs. “How have you drawn my name for seven years straight?”
Elliot smiles proudly. “Guess, I’m just lucky.”
Olivia sighs and rolls her eyes. She picks the present up from her desk and unties the bow. The paper unfolds itself to reveal a jewelry box. She tilts her head as she opens it. Inside, a simple pendant on a chain rests. Her initial engraved in the center. She takes the necklace out, Elliot stands and offers his help to put it on. She nods and gives him the chain, she pushes her hair out of the way while he closes the clasp. His fingers brush her neck, sending a thrill down her spine. Her breath catches in her throat, she bites her lips and closes her eyes. She can feel his breath on her neck. He stands there for a moment, his hands slightly brushing her back as he steps away. She spends the rest of the night toying with the pendant around her neck.
***
Year 10 🖼️
On the tenth year of their partnership, Elliot brings Eli into the squad room to spark some holiday cheer. It has been a rough year for both of them. Olivia is still struggling from her undercover op, but she won’t talk to him about it. Elliot is crawling through his guilt over Kathleen's diagnosis, his hero’s betrayal and the bullet he took to the chest, but he will definitely not say a word about either of those.
They don’t talk about what bothers them. So Elliot brings Eli to cheer Olivia and her smile is the best reward. Her desk is decorated, the stocking is hung, her tiny tree proudly set in between the two desks.
She’s too busy entertaining the chubby kid with funny faces and Christmas carols to see his father drop this year’s gift under the tiny tree. Elliot watches them from his desk, a smile on his lips, a pang of pain in his chest. She’d be a great mother. She will be a great mother. He cannot wait to watch her become one.
Eli starts being fussy and being on Olivia’s lap as she reads a file doesn’t cut it anymore. She gives him back to his father. He snuggles into his arms and rubs his tired eyes. “I’m going to get him home. See you tomorrow, Liv.” He says as Eli waves goodbye with his little hand. Olivia waves back. “G’night, El. Bye-bye Eli.”
She sees the present hidden under the files scattered on her desk. She pushes the files, stacks them neatly on the side, takes the present and opens it. It’s a framed photo of Eli and her, on his baptism. She traces the baby’s face with her finger, tears pool in her eyes. Olivia clenches her teeth and exhales slowly. She wipes the lone tear that escapes on her cheek. She opens the frame’s leg and places it next to her mother’s picture. She smiles, her hand on her heart, then packs up for the night.
***
Year 12 ⭐
On the twelfth year of their partnership, Elliot picks her name from the bowl and smiles. No-one ever mentions the elephant in the room, no-one mentions that he has been Olivia’s not so secret santa for over a decade, and no-one mentions the way he looks at her as she picks Warner’s name from the bowl.
He is chipper as Christmas approaches, his gift wrapped and secured in his bottom desk drawer.
Olivia is stuck in court for days while he investigates with Fin as Christmas approaches. He barely sees her all week until she finally comes back with a smile and a case won.
He has Christmas day off, she has Christmas eve off. So he plays Santa and leaves her present under her tiny tree on her desk before he clocks out.
The squad room is quiet on Christmas morning when she arrives. She drops her bag in her bottom drawer, grabs her mug and goes to the coffee maker to start a fresh pot. She’s whistling Christmas carols when Fin gets in. They get their coffee and sit at their respective desks.
The box under the tree catches her eyes, but she doesn’t reach for it, Fin is talking about the DNA results they have and the witness’ testimony and she doesn’t want him to comment on her Secret Santa gift. So she leaves it under the tree until lunch, until Fin leaves to get them both sandwiches at the bodega around the corner. She peels the wrapping paper quickly. It’s a box, a jewelry box.
Elliot hasn’t gifted her jewelry since that necklace a few years back. Not since he went back to Kathy and his family.
She opens the box slowly, her heart beating loudly against her chest. Her hands are clammy as she traces the length of the bracelet. The chain is made of letters intertwined, reading “partners” in gold. She puts it on her wrist, traces the words against her skin slowly.
When Fin comes back, her sleeves are covering the wrists again but her smile doesn’t leave her face.
***
Years missed ❄️
Olivia takes over Secret Santa the year he leaves when Amanda and Nick ask if anything ever happens in the squad during the holidays. She sees Fin and Munch watching her as she writes everybody’s name and places the folded papers in the bowl. She has to stop herself from adding Elliot’s. She doesn’t put the tiny tree next to her phone, but she hangs her stocking on the side of her desk and traces the letters of her hand stitched name.
On the 24th, her stocking is filled with gifts. She looks around the squad room but no one says a word. She knows Amanda picked her name. And she knows she picked Fin’s. It doesn’t make sense that she got more than one gift. The rule is simple: pick one name, give one gift, get one gift.
She waits for everyone to leave before she unwraps them one by one. First, a new mug, “Detective Badass” written on it. She has been using the squad’s blend mugs, unable to bring herself to pour her coffee in Elliot’s chipped cup she has been using for a decade. Then, a new scarf. She lost her favorite one on the bloodied floor next to Sister Peg’s body in the spring. The third gift is a full pack of new pens. Unchewed caps and brand new ink. Amanda’s gift is last, a romance novel Olivia mentioned over fried chicken late one night. She puts it away in her first drawer, then draws her attention back to the pens, the scarf and the mug. She opens the pack, sets a couple in her pen holder then stores the rest in her drawer. She places the mug next to her phone and takes the one she used today to the break room, washes it, places it back with the others in the cupboard. She gets her bag, pulls her coat on, wraps the new scarf around her neck and goes home. She has cheesy movies to watch and leftover chinese waiting for her.
***
Year 25 ❤️
He is late. He was supposed to be back for Christmas but then a blizzard, two delayed flights and a missed correspondence bring him home on the 31st instead of the 24th. It’s a good thing the only person who knows he was supposed to be home is his Sergeant and he is damn grateful he didn’t tell anyone else. It has been months since he has seen his family, his squad or Olivia and the few phone calls do not make up for the time spent away. He could not bear the thought of disappointing them any more than he already had when he left. Again.
Elliot jumps in a cab, his suitcase is thrown in the back as he gives the route to the driver.
He calls Ayanna on the way, tells her whatever debriefing she needs can wait a few days. He needs to make the rounds first. He needs to see a few people now that he is back in New York. She agrees, wishes him a good night and hangs up before he can answer that it’s only noon.
When he opens the door to his place, he is happily surprised to discover that the apartment was decorated for Christmas. He knows Eli has been staying at his sisters for the holidays, and his mother is at her assisted living facility. Maybe the kids decided to celebrate here instead of one of their small apartments. He shrugs the thought, throws his suitcase in his room, grabs his truck’s keys and he is back on the road in less than five minutes.
Traffic is slow and he has to make a hundred turns with all the New Year’s celebrations and Time Square’s annual ball drop, but he finally arrives at the 16th precinct. A few officers size him up as he walks in. Half surprised to see him, half shocked that he dares step here after so many months away.
The elevator ride is slow but the bustling sound of the squad room is loud when the doors open. Orders are shouted about BOLOs and teams being divided to search Chelsea. In a few strides, he is at the door of the open space and the room falls silent. He raises a bushy brow as he sees Jet behind her laptop at one of the desks, Fin is standing next to her his own head turned to his left. He follows his eyes and lands on Olivia.
She stands tall in her booted heels. Her leather blazer hugs her figure perfectly. The golden compass is resting against her chest.
Their eyes lock, he smiles, she gasps.
“You’re back.” Olivia whispers.
Elliot walks up to her and she takes a step back as she shakes her head.
“What are you doing here? Your mom… your kids… Your… What are you doing here, Elliot?” She asks baffled.
“Merry Christmas, Liv.” He grins.
“It’s New Year’s eve.” She replies.
“Your Secret Santa is a little late, but… here.” He smiles back as he hands her a box that looks uncannily like the one he opened in may. “You should open it before spring.” He chuckles. She wants to wipe his smirk off his face but she doesn’t say anything as she opens the present.
It’s an ornament. The “Liv, Love, Laugh” ornament the McCanns gifted her the year before. The one he broke to spell her name. The one he left with while she was left standing in her office with a necklace and a promise.
“How did you pick my name again? How have you been picking my name every time?” She looks at him confused. “You weren’t in this year’s- Did you ask Ayanna to join our Secret Santa?”
“I may have asked that OC’s and SVU’s Secret Santas merge, just for this year. Jet took care of the rest.”
“Yeah, I know. I was there. I got an email with a name. I gave Reyes a really great set of Mezcal samples and-”
“And you didn’t get a gift. Until now.”
She hadn’t, she realizes now.
She had dropped Reyes’ gift the week before Christmas and she had seen the Organized Crime Unit drop by to deposit their gifts to her squad over the week, but no one had given her anything and she had not realized it until now. The week between Christmas and New Year’s was notoriously weird and she had been swamped with cases and a sick detective so she hadn’t given a second thought to the Secret Santa gift exchange once Christmas had come and gone.
But now, Elliot was there, in front of her, with the ornament he had left with seven months ago.
“How did you… Why would you participate if- I don’t… I don’t understand.” She finally admits.
“I was supposed to come home on the 24th.” He says sheepishly.
“Oh.” Tears start to pool in her eyes as she realizes that his plan had been to hang the ornament in his tree. Or maybe hers. But still, he had planned on being home to spend Christmas with her. She rests her hand on his chest.
“I said I’d treasure it. I have. Now I’m home.” Elliot inhales and his broad chest becomes a wall against her hand. He raises his hand to touch the compass hanging on her neck. “Did it lead you to happiness?” He asks so quietly she could have missed it with her heart beating so loudly in her ears.
“I think it brought you home …” She whispers back. She raises her eyes from his lips and looks at him through her lashes.
Elliot’s thumb brushes her cheek and she closes her eyes as her whole body relaxes at the touch.
“We’re in my squad room, Elliot.” She whispers, her eyes still closed.
He laughs but doesn’t move his hand. “Let’s take this to your office then, Captain.”
She takes his hand and pulls him into her office, she shuts the door behind them and throws her arms around his neck. He stumbles back at the impact but he grounds himself and encircles her body, clutching her against him.
“I missed you.” Olivia admits nuzzled in his neck. “Don’t ever leave again.” She pleads.
He breathes her hair and shakes his head. “Never leaving again. I promise, Liv.”
She lets go of him and takes a step back, his hands rest on her hips, her hands rest on his chest. Neither breaks away.
“I rigged the draw.” He declares.
“What draw?”
“The Secret Santa draw. I rigged it. Ever since our first year as partners. I wrote the names, threw them in the bowl, marked yours. I’d always pick first, I’d always pick you.” He confesses not an ounce of regret in his voice.
“Why?”
“‘Cause you’re my partner.” He grins and squeezes her hips, bringing her closer to him.
“You’re a possessive son-of-a-bitch.” She says, fighting the smile on her face as he shrugs.
“I love you.” He answers, like it is the only reason he ever needed to justify himself.
Olivia doesn’t look down, she holds his gaze, pushes on her toes and reaches his lips with hers. She kisses him quietly. She kisses him like they have done it a million times before. She kisses him and as his lips part slightly and she invades his mouth, she falls back on her heels but he follows her and doesn’t break the kiss.
When they break for air, they are both out of breath. He smiles and she laughs nervously, her hands still gripping the collar of his jacket.
“I really need to find that perp, El… I need to get back to work.” She apologizes.
“I know.” He says as he brushes her hair out of her eyes. “Keep your new year’s kiss for me, would you?”
She snorts. “I’m definitely not kissing anybody else after that kiss .”
“Good to know.” He smiles proudly.
“Oh shut up!” She says as she pushes him away playfully.
“Go be the boss, Benson. I’m not going anywhere.”
She reaches for him and kisses him again, lingering a little before she puts her Captain face back on and struts back to her squad room to oversee the search party.
Elliot doesn’t follow her, but he does greet Jet and Fin who are still looking at her screen.
“Still messing with Secret Santa, Stabler?” The Sergeant inquires.
“Don’t know what you’re talking about, Sarge.” He answers with a grin on his face.
Fin puffs and laughs. “Yeah, whatever. It’s good to have you back, man.”
“It’s good to be home.” He says as he watches Olivia commanding the unis and her detectives through the search.
Hours later, when the perp is in holding, and he is finally home with her and Noah, and the ball is about to drop on the other side of town, he reaches for her hand across her couch and entangles their fingers. She pulls him to her and bites her bottom lip. She hasn’t stopped smiling since he appeared in her squad room. It would be embarrassing if she hadn’t been waiting twenty five years to love this man openly.
Noah looks at them from his chair and frowns before the countdown starts. “Oh no. Please don’t kiss. It’s gross, mom!”
Ryan Seacrest is counting down and they both laugh at her son’s dramatic pleas.
They kiss as New York enters the new year, then she stands and kisses her son’s curls while his face is still smushed into a pillow to shield his eyes. He raises his head, stands up and hugs his mom. “Happy New Year, mom!” He turns to Elliot, “and Happy New Year, El! Just, never kiss in front of me. Ever. Please. Gross. Ew.” He adds cringing at every word.
Olivia chuckles as she drops back into the couch, in Elliot’s arms. She tucks herself into his body and closes her eyes as Noah’s yawns get closer until he falls asleep. She follows him closely, Elliot’s hand drawing soothing circles on her arm.
“Happy New Year, Olivia…” He whispers as they fall asleep on the first night of the rest of their lives.