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When Sanji woke up, it was to the sensation of a splitting headache and a dry mouth.
He coughed, wincing as he felt his ribs protest in pain, and blearily opened his eyes to try and take in his surroundings.
He was laying on a hard wooden floor, and he could feel his shoulder blades digging into the floorboards rather painfully.
With an immense effort, he managed to sit up, reaching out blindly until he found a wall to lean back against.
Now, he could see that he was in a jail cell. There were thick bars on the windows, and the dank smell and spartan furniture looked like it hadn't been replaced for centuries.
Despite the pain in his back, Sanji was glad he didn't seem to have slept on the cot in the corner of the cell, because that thing looked like it was more bed bug than actual mattress.
He tried to remember what on Earth he was doing there, and slowly but surely, it started coming back to him.
"Those damned marines", he muttered to himself.
He'd been ambushed, that much he could remember. One second, he'd been going about his business, buying groceries for the crew, and the next, he found himself knocked to the ground by a bunch of burly marines.
"How could I let my guard down?", he thought to himself. "I know better!"
He shook himself slightly. It was no use crying over spilled milk.
Why the marines had targeted him in particular, he could only guess. Granted, he had quite a high bounty, but it certainly wasn't the highest on the crew.
The marines surely knew that someone would come to rescue him. Maybe that was the plan? To use him as bait?
With a heavy sigh, Sanji crawled over to the bars of the cell, trying to get a good look at the room outside it.
He didn't see any guards or a conveniently placed key ring, only an empty desk and a staircase, probably leading up to the surface. The rest of the cells were empty.
Suddenly, he heard a noise. Footsteps, coming down the stairs.
He hurried back from the bars, and once again leaned back against the cold, damp cell wall.
A man appeared on the other side of the bars.
He was gangly, with a long, thin face and a perfectly pressed marine uniform on. Sanji couldn't tell exactly what rank he was, but he guessed he had to be at least a commodore or captain.
"So, you've woken up", he said, in an unpleasantly nasally voice.
"So I have", Sanji replied. Despite his unimposing stature, he got a bad feeling about this guy, and he thought it would be best not to aggravate him too much before he knew more about the situation.
"Why am I here?", he asked, carefully watching the marine's face to see if it gave anything away.
"You're bait", he replied casually, an evil glint appearing in his eyes.
Sanji was surprised at how quickly he'd admitted it.
"You don't stand a chance against Luffy and the others", he warned. "They're morons, but they'll do anything to get me back."
The marine just scoffed at him.
"I'm not interested in the Straw Hats", he sneered. "I have bigger fish to fry."
Sanji racked his brain to try and work out what that could mean. He hadn't needed to bother, however, because the marine threw what looks like a rolled up newspaper in through the bars of the cell.
A feeling of dread slowly started growing in his stomach, along with the hope that the paper wasn't what he thought it was.
With slightly shaky hands, he unfolded the crumpled newspaper, and immediately felt that hopeless dread double in intensity.
Not this again.
—
A few weeks earlier, Sanji was on his way to deliver an afternoon snack to the crew. It was a lovely day, perfect for sailing, and Sanji was eagerly looking forward to putting as much distance between them and Wano as possible. It was a beautiful and interesting place, no doubt, but he'd had enough shitty experiences there to put him off for the next few years at least.
To his surprise, he didn't see anyone out on the deck. Half an hour ago, everyone had been sprawled out on lawn chairs or playing whatever new game Luffy had made up in his boredom.
Sanji was just about to call out to the crew when he heard a loud whisper coming from somewhere below.
"I can't believe this!"
It was Nami, and she sounded absolutely outraged.
"None of this is even true!", he hear Chopper's high voice exclaim.
A few other voices hummed and chattered in agreement.
"Shh, you guys, don't be so loud! You don't want Sanji to find out about this, do you?"
What on earth was going on?
"Find out about what?", he asked, after gracefully jumping down on deck.
Nami, Chopper, Usopp, Brook and Franky were all huddled underneath one of Nami's trees. They all looked startled, and Chopper quickly hid something behind his back.
"Nothing!", he squeaked, the fur on his neck rising up in a nervous sort of way.
Sanji narrowed his eyes.
"What are you hiding behind your back, Chopper?", he asked slowly, slowly inching closer to the little reindeer.
"It's nothing, Sanji, really! W-We were just… Playing a game!"
The others were quick to agree, all nodding and smiling in a truly unconvincing way.
"I see", Sanji said, feigning disinterest. Then, he quickly dashed forward, darted behind Chopper and snatched the something behind his back from his hooves.
It was a newspaper, a World Economy paper to be precise. He skimmed the page the others had evidently been reading, whilst keeping it out of reach of their grabbing hands and ignoring their protests.
"Germa invades Whole Cake Island! The lost prince returns!", he read out loud, and the grabbing hands abruptly stopped. He looked back at the crew, all looking vaguely pained.
"What is this?", he asked, trying to keep his voice steady.
"It's a newspaper", Usopp muttered, but quickly shut up when Sanji leveled him with a withering look.
"Don't get smart with me, long-nose", he said, and Usopp subtly shuffled behind Franky to use him as a shield.
"Don't be mad, Sanji!", Chopper cried. "They don't know what they're talking about!"
Nami released a long-suffering sigh, and put her hands on her hips.
"No use hiding it now. It's easiest if you just read it", she said, gesturing to the paper.
Sanji straightened out the pages again and began reading.
"The legendary Germa kingdom puts fear into the hearts of even the bravest man. With the Emperor Big Mom missing and presumed dead, there has been nothing stopping their invasion of Whole Cake Island."
Immediately, Sanji's thoughts went to Pudding. Was she alright?
He skimmed through the text, seeing if he could find any mention of her, but instead he found his own name printed on there.
"Now it seems the royal family Vinsmoke have even discovered how to bring people back from the dead. Vinsmoke Sanji, who was declared dead at nine years old, has now seemingly risen from the grave and is helping his father King Vinsmoke Judge to conquer Big Mom's territory."
Sanji felt his blood slowly starting to simmer the further he read. The paper was tearing where he was gripping it too tightly. His eyes were furiously skimming through the text, which got even more ridiculous.
"Vinsmoke Sanji, perhaps better known as Blackleg Sanji, is a part of the now notorious pirate crew the Straw Hat Pirates. One has to wonder if the rest of the Strawhat's are also working alongside Germa to take over Big Mom's territory."
He couldn't read anymore. The paper had begun smoking in his hands, and although he'd like nothing more than to burn it up, he knew Nami wouldn't be pleased if he destroyed her paper.
So, he gave it back to her without a word.
"I'm sorry, Sanji", Chopper said quietly. "We didn't want to make you sad."
Sanji forced himself to breathe deeply, to calm himself down, before smiling at Chopper.
"I know, Chopper. I'm not mad at you", he promised, ruffling the fur on the little reindeer's head.
"It's ridiculous, what they're saying", Nami huffed, giving the paper the evil eye. "Why would we be working with Germa? "
"It's just gossip, bro", Franky reassured. "They'll forget about it soon."
—
Evidently, they hadn't forgotten.
Sanji looked up at the marine, who gave him a nasty smile with far too many teeth in it.
"Vinsmoke Sanji", he said, mockingly bowing his head slightly. "Not often that I'm in the presence of royalty. I must say, I'm not very impressed."
"I'm not royalty", Sanji gritted out. "And if you think Judge cares if I live or die, you don't know anything about Germa."
The marine's grin faltered for a second, but then it was back in full force.
"Keep lying and see where it gets you", he said.
Before he could say more, however, there was a loud crash from above, and at least a dozen muffled voices all yelling.
"Better go check that out", Sanji said. The marine gave him a nasty look, before hurrying back up the stairs to the outside.
Sanji sighed in relief. He knew it had to be his crew coming to save him. Of course, he could've broken himself out eventually, but the sooner he was out of here, the better.
The sounds of battle came closer, and Sanji readied himself to be busted out of there any minute.
At last, there were again footsteps thundering down the stairs, and Sanji only had a second to rejoice before he spotted that familiar head of mossgreen hair, and all joy evaporated in an instant.
"Cook!"
Of course. Of course it had to be Zoro who came to rescue him.
Please, just let me sink through the floor , he thought.
With a few slices of his sword, Zoro had sliced open the steel bars of the cell to form a convenient opening for Sanji.
Grumbling and cursing all the Gods he could think of, Sanji quickly got to his feet and brushed off as much dust and dirt as he could from his formerly pristine suit.
He glared at Zoro, who stood there with two swords in either hand and blood smeared across his face.
Sanji could tell he'd been fighting his way through at least a dozen marines so far, but he didn't manage to feel particularly grateful.
"There you are", Zoro said, stomping into the cell. "This place is a damned maze."
"Just get me out of here!", Sanji hissed, rattling his chains to underline his words.
Despite quite a bit of muttering about ungrateful cooks, Zoro made quick work of Sanji's chains with the help of Wado.
"Thanks", Sanji muttered reluctantly. He wobbled a bit as he stepped forward, his legs having fallen asleep after so long on the ground.
"We'll get the shackles off later", Zoro said, motioning to the shackles still left on his hands and feet.
"It's fine", Sanji replied shortly, hating what the shackles reminded him of. "Let's just get out of here."
It didn't take long for Sanji to find the exit to the outside, although he was somewhat slowed down by Zoro, who kept insisting he knew the way only to lead them into various storage rooms and broom closets.
They'd ran past the guards Zoro had clearly incapacitated on the floor, but Sanji could hear an alarm bell coming from outside, and the voices of more marines approaching.
Steeling himself for a fight, Sanji stepped out over the threshold of the last staircase and into the daylight.
It turned out they were on a marine ship docked in one of the harbors. Sanji could tell the Sunny wasn't too far away, and not for the first time, he found himself grateful for the marine's typical ineptitude.
A few dozen marines were laying scattered about, some unmoving, some groaning and clutching various wounds.
He glanced at Zoro. He'd really gone all out, hadn't he?
There were more coming though, and there were quite a few meters to either side of the ship.
Of course, Sanji could've just skywalked out of there, but his conscience wouldn't quite let him leave Zoro behind, even if he'd probably relish in getting to fight so many people at once.
Back to back, the two of them made their way steadily through the continuous stream of marines. None of them were particularly strong, and Sanji would've almost enjoyed himself if he hadn't been so fed up with this stupid ship already.
They'd almost made it to the gangplank and off the ship when suddenly, Sanji felt himself being grabbed by the arm and yanked backward.
Not a second later, he felt something just graze his cheek, before continuing its trajectory past him.
A knife imbedded itself in the deck a few meters away, and Sanji quickly whirled around to see who had thrown it.
"Vinsmoke Sanji! I didn't think running away was Germa's style."
Damn it.
That damned marine was standing above them on the steering deck, a pair of throwing knives glinting in his hands.
"I'm not a Vinsmoke!", Sanji snapped.
"Yes, you are! And I'll die before I ever let you walk free!"
Another knife came whirling straight at Sanji's face, but this time he was ready for it.
As quick as lightning, he raised his left leg, effortlessly kicking the weapon out of the air.
"How were you planning to stop me?", he grinned.
"Germa scum!"
"He's not with Germa, you idiot."
Sanji turned in surprise to look at Zoro. He was glaring at the marine captain with a look that could probably kill, whilst still fending off the hoard of marines coming at him.
"Let's just get out of here", Sanji said, but Zoro clearly wasn't listening.
He looked disproportionately angry. It wasn't like Zoro usually liked marines, no pirate did, but this seemed almost personal.
"Do you know this guy or something?", Sanji asked, easily blocking an oncoming right hook with his leg.
Again, both Zoro and the commander ignored him.
"Of course he's with Germa!", he yelled. "He's a Vinsmoke. All the Vinsmokes are the same! Psychopathic killing machines, all of them! This one isn't any-"
"If you call him that again, I swear I'll skin you alive."
Sanji shuddered slightly at Zoro's tone. It was unlike anything he'd heard from him before; completely cold and full of venom.
Even at the distance they were standing, Sanji could see the marine open his mouth to speak.
As quick as a whip, Zoro was rushing in, ignoring Sanji's shouts of protests.
In two slashes of his swords, the marine fell, like a marionette whose strings had been cut, leaving him groaning on the floor.
Zoro looked down at him with blood smeared on his face and a wild look in his eye. He lifted the marine up by his collar, and Sanji was close enough to hear what he said.
"He's not a Vinsmoke, he's a Roronoa. And the Roronoas hate those wastes of human space just as much as you do, if not more."
The marine gurgled something in protest, but Zoro wasn't done.
"And remember who our captain is", he growled. "If I don't scare you, he should . Call off your persecution of Sanji or you won't live to see another day."
Then, he let the captain fall to the ground with a thud, before jumping down to rejoin Sanji.
After their commander had been defeated, the other marines didn't seem as eager to fight anymore. Sanji and Zoro managed to quickly reach the dock without any more trouble, and they set off running back to the Sunny.
In between watching where he was putting his feet, Sanji stole glances at Zoro.
He didn't quite know what to make of what had just happened.
After returning from Whole Cake Island and after leaving Wano, Sanji had expected Zoro to do something. When Usopp left the crew, Zoro hadn't forgiven very easily, and Sanji knew he'd done something much worse than Usopp had.
But nothing came. No demands that Sanji should leave the crew, no nasty comments, nothing .
And now… Defending him in front of the marines like that, giving him his last name.
Wait a minute…
"What the fuck did you just do?!", Sanji shrieked, stopping dead in his tracks. Zoro skidded to a stop too, and turned to Sanji with one of his usual bitchfaces.
"What? Saving your ass?", he drawled, and Sanji felt his temper explode in an instant. The shock of the moment had worn off, and he was now full of embarrassed anger.
Because-
"They're gonna think we're married now!"
Zoro stared blankly at him, and Sanji had to roll his eyes.
"You said I was a Roronoa!", he cried. "What the hell else are they gonna think?! It'll probably spread like wildfire!"
"Oh."
Zoro looked genuinely caught off guard, as if he hadn't even considered this possibility. Then, he had the audacity to shrug.
"So?", he asked. "I mean, we know the truth. If it gets the Marines off our back, I don't see the problem."
And with another shrug, he began walking back to the Sunny.
Sanji chased after him, feeling like steam was shooting out of his ears.
"The problem", he said, giving Zoro a venomous glare, " is that I don't want people thinking we're a couple, obviously! God, what if they change my wanted poster? I'll kill you if they do, Marimo, I swear I will!"
"Yeah, yeah", Zoro said flippantly. "They probably didn't even hear me."
—
Oh, they'd heard him alright.
Not even two days later, all Sanji's worst fears came true.
He was in the middle of preparing lunch when suddenly, there was a loud commotion outside.
When Sanji peered out, he saw almost the whole crew standing hunched over something on the main deck.
"This is the best thing that's ever happened!", Usopp was gleefully saying.
"Sanji is gonna flip out", Nami pointed out, nonetheless unable to keep a grin off her face. The rest of the crew seemed to be similarly amused, sans Zoro, who was nowhere to be seen.
Curious despite the bad feeling he was getting, Sanji descended the stairs to the main deck and approached the crew.
"What's so funny?", he asked, trying to get a glimpse of whatever they were looking at.
"Oh, Sanji!", Usopp exclaimed nervously. "Didn't see you there. Uh, it's nothing, really, just-"
But Sanji had already pushed past him to see what all the fuss was about.
A newspaper.
Instantly, Sanji felt his heart sink. These papers never came bearing good news.
"Uh, I don't know if you should read that, buddy. Might give you a heart attack", Usopp said, slowly backing away from Sanji as if he thought he'd spontaneously combust.
"What? Surely it can't be that…"
He'd grabbed the paper from Nami, who was fighting off giggles, and he immediately saw it.
It had made the front page, even.
"Is love in the air for the Straw Hat crew?! Vinsmoke Sanji and Roronoa Zoro's secret marriage exposed!"
There was a beat of silence. Then…
"ZORO!"
—
His life was a living nightmare, Sanji had decided.
At every new island they docked at, everyone had heard "the wonderful news". Fellow pirates congratulated them, and one or two even asked him for relationship advice, 'pirate to pirate'.
Sanji had practically kicked Zoro's skull in every opportunity he had, but Zoro still acted just as unbothered by the whole thing as ever.
"Calm the fuck down, cook. They'll forget about it soon enough", he'd say, before having the sheer gall to fall asleep.
"Soon enough" wasn't good enough for Sanji. But sadly, the results spoke for themselves.
Zoro's speech to that marine captain had apparently made an impact, because the marines had seemingly given up on pursuing Sanji. On top of that, normal people were less likely to try to jump him on the street. One or two merchants had even told Sanji how inspiring he was, being his "true self" and a bunch of other nonsense.
At first, Sanji had firmly shut down anyone who even so much as implied him and Zoro were anything more than crewmates. To the ladies, he'd politely inform them that he was still single and ready to mingle, thank you very much. To the fellas… Well, let's just say his legs had gotten quite the workout as of late.
But then, the gifts came.
Apparently, even pirates have a sense of decency, at least when it comes to certain things. And of course, because the world was out to get Sanji at every opportunity, they decided wedding gifts were such a thing.
It started when they got a package from Law , of all people. Sanji highly suspected Bepo had written the actual card and forced Law to sign it, but it still gave him a weird kind of shock. It was full of decently nice rum, and a small chest of berry to boot.
Then came all the gifts from the Straw Hat Grand fleet. After reading Bartolomeo's heartfelt and somewhat graphic letter, Sanji felt like throwing himself in the sea and letting the waves decide his fate.
Needless to say, the gifts didn't lighten his mood. Even less so because of course, Nami was over the moon about it.
"But Nami, my sweet! I can't let people keep thinking me and the mosshead are actually married! I'm a ladies man! My reputation would be shot!"
"Your reputation was never that great, Sanji", Nami replied, while nonchalantly going through the newest pile of berry and adding it to her stockpile. "And besides, the marines have calmed down because of it, haven't they? It's a win-win."
Sanji groaned.
"But Nami-", he began, but Nami interrupted.
"Come on, Sanji", she said, putting on her best pout. Even though he knew she was manipulating him, it still worked every time. "Please, just let people believe it for a little bit? They'll forget about it soon enough."
So, now Sanji couldn't even correct people on his and Zoro's marital status. He had to grit his teeth and put on a forced smile when overeager and nosy merchants and bartenders congratulated him or asked all kinds of uncomfortable questions.
Nami also didn't hesitate to use him and Zoro to get free stuff from regular people. Any time there was a couple's discount or an opportunity for a honeymoon celebration, she forced them next to each other, kicking them in the shins until she felt they looked appropriately in love.
Funnily enough, his and Zoro's relationship hadn't exactly improved as a result.
Well, Zoro didn't seem to really care about it that much. He grumbled and complained over Nami's demands, and loudly wondered why she was the one getting all the wedding gifts.
But other than that, he was the same as always. He picked fights with Sanji, slept and trained all day, and drank himself silly every opportunity he had.
And Sanji was pissed . Why was he the only one bothered about this? Zoro hated Sanji just as much as Sanji hated Zoro. So why didn't he care that people thought they were married?
"Why are you so unbothered by all this?", he finally asked one day, after a particularly harrowing supply trip where seemingly everyone they met had something to say about them.
"Why are you so bothered?", was Zoro's response. Then, he gave a huge yawn and scratched his head absentmindedly.
Sanji couldn't help kicking him in the shin for it.
"Because, you stupid piece of sentient algae, they think we're married!", he exclaimed. "Properly in love and everything!"
"So?", Zoro replied, grumpily rubbing his shin.
Sanji groaned and tore his hair. Why was he the only romantic person on this entire ship?
"Marriage is supposed to be about showing your love and commitment for someone", he said matter-of-factly. "I was supposed to marry the love of my life, not you !"
"Right."
Zoro finally seemed to be getting grumpy, probably because Sanji was keeping him from his afternoon nap.
"I can't believe you", Sanji muttered, leaning his back against the railing next to the bench Zoro had been trying to snooze on.
"It's just a name, cook."
They remained there in a semi-companionable silence for a while. Sanji didn't quite know why Zoro's nonchalant behavior bothered him so much. Really, he ought to have been relieved that Zoro didn't make an even bigger deal out of it
It just… Rubbed him the wrong way.
"Have you really never wanted to marry someone you love?", he finally asked.
Zoro was silent for a bit, and Sanji almost thought he hadn't heard the question.
"...No", he finally said. Something in his voice made Sanji doubt he was telling the truth, and he felt an irrational flash of hurt. The thought that Zoro didn't trust him with something personal like that was… annoying.
"Of course not", he sighed. "Why did I even ask? You're as unromantic as a damn rock."
Zoro said nothing, and Sanji left him laying there, feeling strangely out of sorts.
—
Over the next week, Sanji tried to avoid Zoro as much as possible. All he could think about when he saw him was the stupid fake marriage thing, and that wasn't good for his blood pressure.
But when you spend every day with the same people on a relatively small ship, it's hard to properly avoid someone.
Every meal, Zoro was there , looking smug and probably loving how he'd managed to humiliate Sanji, even if he acted like he didn't care. When Sanji was doing laundry, same thing. They even slept in the same room!
So, Sanji had been looking forward to reaching land and getting off the ship. He could finally take a damn break from Zoro and his stupid face and stupid last name.
In the quiet of the night, when everyone else was asleep, and Sanji was laying stark awake in his bunk, he could admit to himself that maybe, his feelings about sharing Zoro's last name weren't quite so clear cut.
He hated when people assumed things. Taking one look at him and thinking they knew everything about him, everything about who he was . As if the clothes he wore and how he acted had to mean he was queer in some way.
But that wasn't even the worst part.
He felt something when he read Roronoa Sanji in the papers. Something that wasn't anger or disgust. And when people on the street congratulated him on his marriage, there was a part of him that felt something then, too.
Sanji tried to bury that part of himself as deep down as possible, refusing to examine it too closely for fear of what he might find.
Even worse than all of that was that Zoro clearly didn't care at all. He'd been as nonchalant as ever, seeming not to understand how big of a deal this was to Sanji.
So yeah, Sanji couldn't wait to be off the ship and away from Zoro.
—
Of course, it didn't quite work out that way.
—
In the morning one day, Usopp alerted everyone that they were approaching land.
It was a small summer island, and Sanji was happily looking forward to basking in the sun, without Zoro anywhere near him.
Of course, he should've known he wouldn't be that lucky.
Luffy just couldn't stay out of trouble. Ever. Sanji was sure he sought it out, and he was torn between loving and hating that quality in his captain.
So, the very hour they arrived, they had somehow landed themselves in an all out street brawl with what appeared to be a whole pirate ship. Honestly, Sanji wasn't even sure how it had happened, but if his captain needed him to fight, that's what he'd do.
By the time they were finished, the street was littered with bodies, and Luffy was bouncing on Sanji's shoulders, demanding a post-battle feast.
Then, all over sudden, someone began cheering. After a few seconds, the townsfolk who had fled and hid during the fight came out from their hiding spots, all cheering and raising their fists triumphantly in the air.
Apparently, as the major of the town later informed them, the very pirates they'd beaten up had been terrorizing the island for months, stealing their money and food and generally causing all manner of mayhem.
Despite telling him they hadn't really intended to rid the town of their pirate problem, not to mention that they themselves were also pirates, the major has insisted on throwing them a big banquet and putting them up in his castle for the remainder of their stay.
Luffy never said no to free food, and Nami cooed about being able to sleep on dry land in a comfortable bed for once, so they happily accepted the offer.
Really, Sanji should've know that things were going too well. The evening had been full of laughter and good food, and Sanji had of course ended up interrogating the head chef about what spices he used and if he had any recipes he'd be willing to give Sanji.
As the night wound down, the crew were escorted to the rooms they'd be staying in. Sanji was excited at the prospect of sleeping in a real bed for the first time in a while, and being able to sleep in a room by himself without the other guys to bother him.
Slowly, he said good night to all the crew, until it was just him and Zoro left. One of the servants led them through a large and ornately decorated corridor, until she finally came to a stop outside a particularly grand-looking door.
"Here we are!", she said, gesturing to it. "I hope everything is to your satisfaction."
Sanji stared blankly at her for a moment. A horrible thought slowly occurred to him.
"Excuse me, miss, but why are we in the same room?", he tentatively asked. She chuckled and waved her hand at him.
"Don't worry! We know it's your honeymoon, no need to act coy."
Sanji opened his mouth to correct her, but then instantly thought better of it. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't tell her the truth. Nami would probably kill him if it got out that the whole marriage thing was a lie, and then the marines might start up their chase again.
"Oh, uh, right. Thank you", he managed to mumble instead.
"No problem, sir. Like I said, I hope you find it to your liking, and don't hesitate to call if you need anything."
The servant then politely wished them a good night and walked off, leaving Sanji and Zoro standing outside the big ostentatious door to their supposed honeymoon suite.
Without a word, Zoro reached for the door handle and let himself in, leaving Sanji standing there gaping in the corridor.
With a huff, he followed Zoro, ready to give him a piece of his mind, but was momentarily distracted by the room inside.
The walls were covered with intricate wallpaper, with golden swirls that almost looked like they were moving. The furniture was similary decked out, with gilded feet and beautifully carved decorations in the shining wood.
It was a sizable suite, and Sanji could see another door leading to what he presumed was the bathroom. Across from the entrance, there were multiple large windows, looking out over the castle courtyard and the sea at the horizon.
In any other situation, Sanji would relish in the luxury he'd been afforded, but right then he only felt dread. Because in the middle of the room, there was a huge bed, with four wooden bedposts and more pillows than Sanji would know what to do with.
One bed. Singular.
Zoro had made an instant beeline for it and was already crawling in under the covers.
"What the hell are you doing?!", Sanji shrieked, tearing the covers off Zoro and shooing at him. Zoro gave Sanji his best bitch face and sat up.
"I'm going to sleep", he deadpanned, and Sanji felt his blood start to boil.
"Who said you get to have the bed?", he asked, folding his arms defiantly.
"I think you need your damned eyes checked, cook. It's a double bed."
Sanji squaked in outrage.
"I am not sleeping in the same bed as you!", he yelled. Zoro just shrugged and yanked the covers back over himself.
"Suit yourself", he said. "But I'm not sleeping on the floor."
"Zoro!"
"I'm trying to go to sleep, cook."
Sanji threw up his hands in defeat. God only knew how he would survive this night.
Of course, he could've slept on the floor himself, but he couldn't let Zoro win like that! Besides, he was tired and aching all over from the fighting earlier in the day, and the bed really looked very inviting.
Because he wasn't a caveman , Sanji decided to wash off all the grime and sweat before bed, even though he was fighting to keep his eyes open.
The bathroom was just as luxurious as the bedroom, and Sanji took advantage of all the fragrant soaps and oils until his skin was as soft and clean as it had ever been.
While under the shower spray, he unfortunately had some time to think.
The whole situation with Zoro was spiralling out of control. It was like the more Sanji tried to avoid him, the closer he was. He'd thought he'd finally have some space to work out his feelings when they got off the ship, but now they were sharing a bed . One didn't get closer than that.
It didn't get better when he finally got out of the shower and went back into the bedroom.
Zoro was already asleep. His stupid green hair had grown slightly since leaving Wano, and it fanned out slightly across the pillow. His breath was slow and steady, and Sanji almost had to stop and stare at his face.
He looked relaxed, in a way he only really did when he was asleep. Sanji would never admit it, but it was his favourite version of Zoro. The version who didn't have the weight of the world on his shoulders, who looked so young and peaceful in his sleep.
Sanji tried to ignore the way his heart traitorously started beating faster. He quickly looked away, busying himself with crawling under the covers himself.
But even with his back turned, he could sense Zoro next to him. He radiated warmth, and Sanji found himself wanting to inch closer.
I'm just cold , he told himself. I'm just a bit cold, and this whole fake marriage thing is messing with my head.
He caved and turned to lay on his side, facing Zoro's back. Seeing his shoulders rise and fall so gently made Sanji simultaneously calm and angry.
Zoro didn't seem bothered by any of this. Flippantly giving away his name to Sanji, like it didn't matter at all. Saving him from marines, always having his back, letting him sleep in the same bed.
Sanji sighed heavily. He knew he should be grateful for what Zoro did, but all he really felt was pissed off. It felt like Zoro knowingly put him in this position to embarrass him, even thought he knew that wasn't true.
With a final glare at Zoro's back, Sanji shut his eyes tight and tried to force himself to sleep. Thinking more about the whole situation would just give him a headache.
—
When Sanji woke up the next morning, he felt strangely well rested. He always ran a bit cold, and while he had a decent duvet back on the ship, it was always a gamble if it would be enough to keep out the cold when travelling through chilly nights at sea.
But now, he felt pleasantly warm and toasty. After a few minutes of groggily basking in it, he became aware of a weight pressing against his back.
And just like that, the pleasant feeling evaporated, and Sanji tried desperately to scramble away.
Which is when he found an arm slung around his waist, effectively trapping him to the bed.
"Zoro!", Sanji hissed, struggling to heave Zoro's heavy frame off of himself. "Wake up, you moron, and get off me!"
Zoro mumbled something incoherent, and, to Sanji's chagrin, pulled him in tighter.
"Zoro! Wake up!"
He elbowed Zoro hard in the stomach, and with a disgruntled 'oof', Zoro finally started showing signs of consciousness.
Sanji took the opportunity to escape from his grasp, getting out of bed as quickly as he could.
A part of him wanted nothing more than to yell at Zoro, but a bigger part wanted to flee the room in embarrassment.
So, he just said: "Keep your grubby hands to yourself next time!", and rushed to the bathroom, slamming the door behind himself.
—
The next blow came at the breakfast table.
"So, you're all free to do whatever you want today", Nami was saying.
"Except you and Zoro, of course."
Sanji nearly spat out his coffee.
"What?", he squeaked. Nami shrugged, but Sanji was sure he could see an evil look in her eyes.
"Well, you're supposed to be on your honeymoon, right? It'd be weird if you didn't spend any time together."
Sanji was torn between being outraged and not wanting to say no to Nami, which just resulted in a lot of sputtering and wild gesturing.
"You're going too far, witch."
Zoro finally piped up. Even though he didn't approve of his language, Sanji was honestly relieved. He didn't know if he'd survive a whole day stuck with Zoro.
But Nami didn't seem discouraged at all.
"Surely, you two can find it in yourselves to get along for one day?", she said, nonchalantly inspecting her nailbeds as she spoke.
Zoro growled at her, and Nami glared back. They seemed to be in an argument entirely with their eyes.
After about ten seconds, Zoro groaned in frustration and finally looked away. Evidently, he'd lost the battle.
"Fine", he muttered.
Without another word, he got up and left, a clear hunch to his shoulders that radiated tension.
"What was that all about?", Usopp asked, but after one icy look from Nami, he quickly went back to his eggs, clearly deciding it was better not to know.
"Well… I guess I'll be off too, then", Sanji said, not even trying to hide how unenthusiastic he felt.
So, he too left the breakfast table, cursing Zoro's name all the way back to their room.
—
It was a lovely day outside, at least.
Zoro had seemed content to just mope around in their room all day, but after about twenty minutes, Sanji couldn't stand it anymore. He needed something to do to distract himself from his own thoughts.
So, he managed to drag Zoro outside.
They ended up at the town square, which had a big fountain in the middle of it, and countless stalls selling various goods scattered all about.
At first, Sanji decided to try and ignore Zoro as much as possible. His plan failed about ten minutes in, after Zoro had managed to wander off almost five times.
The fifth time, Sanji decided he needed to keep Zoro on a leash.
"Here", he snapped, removing his tie and giving one end to Zoro. "Hold on to the end so you don't get lost."
"I don't get lost!"
"Just take it!"
So, Sanji ends up leading Zoro along like that. Too late, he realizes it would probably have drawn way less attention if he'd just grabbed Zoro's hand, but he wasn't about to backtrack now.
Sanji had been excited at the prospect of exploring the town, and he found his spirits lifting as the day went on. Sure, a few people stopped and stared at them, and Sanji heard their names mentioned a few times, but it wasn't enough to bring down his mood.
Zoro was largely being agreeable, only muttering slightly as he was tugged in various directions.
Apparently, the island was known for its spice trade, and Sanji had already racked up a fair amount of spices after a couple of hours.
"Why do I have to carry all your shit?", Zoro asked, after yet another purchase. Sanji scoffed and waved his hand.
"Because it's your fault I have to be around you all day", he replied, before dragging Zoro along to the next stand.
But after about another hour, Sanji did start to feel a little bad. It might be Zoro's fault they were in this mess, but for once, he hadn't deliberately meant to cause problems for Sanji. And he really did look quite miserable, sweat rolling down his forehead and arms full of shopping bags.
"Let's find someplace to rest", Sanji said, scanning the streets for a restaurant or bar that didn't look to out of their price range.
"I don't need to rest", Zoro insisted, but he still eagerly followed as Sanji led them away from the busier areas, into the shade of a narrower side street.
It didn't take long before Sanji spotted a suitably rustic-looking place tucked between a pawn shop and a watch shop.
The inside of the bar was surprisingly nice and cool, and Sanji gladly made himself comfortable by the counter, already scanning their drinks menu for anything good.
Zoro flopped down next to him with a heavy thud and immediately signaled the bartender.
"Sake, please", he grunted, slamming down a few berries on the counter.
"Coming right up!"
The place was pretty deserted, since it was still daytime, and only a few other customers were scattered around, probably also trying to escape the heat.
"One sake", the bartender said a few minutes later, placing a plate of the drink in front of Zoro, who wasted no time downing it in one gulp.
"You don't ever savor anything, do you?", Sanji griped, but he couldn't help smiling slightly at the content expression on Zoro's face. It really didn't take much for him to be happy.
"So", he said, after they'd both caught their breaths a bit. "Since you've been surprisingly good about my spice shopping… Is there anywhere you'd like to go later?"
It came out a bit more awkward than he intended, and Zoro sniggered at him.
"Does it pain you that much to be nice to me?", he teased, poking Sanji in the side.
"Don't test me, mosshead."
Zoro grinned, looking far too pleased with himself.
"To answer your question, I'm good. I got booze."
Sanji snorted.
"That's all it takes, huh?"
"Pretty much."
They stayed at the bar for quite a while. Usually, Sanji would have gotten fed up, sitting in a dingy bar with only Zoro for company, but he found he was actually enjoying himself.
He tended to forget it easily, but Zoro was actually pretty good company when they weren't going at each other's throats.
The bartender had been back a few times, bringing Zoro a steady supply of drinks that seemed to not even make him tipsy, along with one or two ciders for Sanji, who was working up just a slight buzz.
All in all, it had been a surprisingly nice day so far.
Which, of course, meant it was all about to take a turn for the worse.
When the bartender brought Sanji his third drink, they made eye contact. He saw how her eyes widened in recognition, and immediately felt his heart sink.
"Hey! Aren't you two from the Straw Hat crew?"
Shit.
Sanji didn't even have time to lie. The woman had reached underneath the bar to whip out a newspaper. Even from a distance, Sanji recognised the article about his and Zoro's supposed marriage.
"Oh my god, it is you!", she exclaimed excitedly.
"Yeah, that's us", Zoro said, his tone far from friendly. Sanji kicked him in the shin.
"Behave", he hissed.
The bartender laughed.
"I'd heard you two bicker a lot", she chuckled, eyes moving to and fro between them. "Must be a consequence of the marriage, eh?"
"Uh, right", Sanji said. His good mood was quickly souring, but he couldn't be rude to a woman, especially one who was clearly just trying to be nice.
"I heard what you did for the town, too", she went on, oblivious to Sanji's discomfort. "And I've read all about you in the news, of course! Such a sweet love story!"
Sanji couldn't help choking slightly.
"That's us", he managed to croak weakly. He looked to Zoro for support, but Zoro was too busy glaring at the poor bartender to notice.
"Please, you gotta tell me what it's like, being a pirate and everything! I always wanted to set out to sea, but then my dad left me the bar, and it just never happened."
In her eagerness, she took Sanji by the shoulders, leaning in quite close.
Despite himself, Sanji felt his face start to heat up. This close, he could smell her perfume, and her eyes were quite a lovely shade of deep brown.
Before Sanji could even begin to formulate a reply, Zoro slammed his hand down on the counter with far more force than necessary.
"We should get going", he said, still glaring at the bartender. "Cook."
Then, after throwing down a few more coins for the drinks, he picked up their bags and stalked out the door.
"Wha- Zoro!", Sanji called. He turned to the poor bartender, who looked quite confused, and gave her hid best apologetic smile.
"Sorry about him", he said, while fumbling out of his seat. "Never quite managed to teach him manners. I should probably go after him."
He raised his hand in a sort of awkward wave, hastily said goodbye, and hurried after Zoro out the door.
For once, Zoro hadn't managed to run off, and he was standing leaning against a house on the other side of the street.
Sanji wasn't in the mood for shopping anymore.
They walked back to the castle in a tense silence. Sanji had lots to say, but he had brains enough to know it wouldn't be a good idea to start a fight outside, where anyone could hear them.
It seemed like an age before they reached the castle gates, and the sun was setting in a pretty display of pinks and oranges.
Zoro tried to slip away down an empty corridor once they were inside, but Sanji wasn't having it. He took a firm hold of Zoro's arm and marched them to their room.
As soon as he'd closed their bedroom door behind them, he rounded on Zoro.
"What the hell was that?", he exclaimed. "Why did you bite that poor girl's head off back there? She was just making conversation!"
Zoro scoffed, folding his arms and staring Sanji down.
"Right", he said. "And that's all you were interested in too, huh? Conversation?"
Something in Zoro's voice made Sanji feel defensive, although he didn't exactly know why.
"She was just excited!", he said, and then shook himself. He didn't have to explain anything to Zoro of all people.
"And besides, what is it to you?", he sneered. "Or have you forgotten that we're not actually married?"
Zoro looked at him strangely.
"Fine. Do whatever you want, then", he said. "Not my fault when the papers say you're cheating on me."
Sanji couldn't suppress a gasp in outrage.
"I didn't even touch her!", he yelled. The scraps of composure he'd been trying to hold onto finally slipped out of his grasp.
"And even if I did, why the hell would you care? You don't give a shit if the marines come after me or not!"
Now, it was Zoro's turn to look outraged.
"Why the hell would I be going along with all of this if I didn't give a shit?", he asked. Sanji threw up his hands in defeat.
"I don't know! To torture me?", he sneered, feeling all the frustration and anger from the last month come rushing to the surface all at once. A part of him knew he was being unfair, that he shouldn't take out his anger on Zoro, lest he say something he'd regret. But Zoro has always had a way of getting under his skin like no one else.
"All you have to do is to not flirt with anything that moves for a few months! That's torture to you?"
That was the last drop.
"No! Everyone thinking I'd ever marry someone like you , that's the fucking torture!"
The words are out before he could even think about stopping them. They rang out in the room, leaving behind a thick, horrible silence.
In the wake of it, Zoro looked at him in a way never really had before.
"I get it", he said, and his voice sounded hollow. "You think I'm fucking unlovable. That's fine. I already know that, you don't have to rub it in."
Even while bleeding out, even when the crew was in danger or he was pushing himself way past his own limits, Zoro had never sounded like this.
"I didn't mean-", Sanji began, but Zoro wasn't done.
"'Who would ever want Zoro ' and 'I'd rather die'? What else is that supposed to mean, Sanji?", he asked, arms splayed wide.
Sanji swallowed.
"Well, it's not like you'd wanna marry me, either!", he replied, desperate to shift the focus somewhere else.
He expected Zoro to agree, to say that he found Sanji just as repulsive as Sanji found him, but that wasn't what happened.
Instead, Zoro's face contorted, turning an almost comical shade of red. He was silent, just staring at Sanji like a deer in the headlights.
They both stared at each other for a few seconds.
"Zoro?"
And without another word, Zoro was gone.
He was out the door before Sanji could even comprehend what was happening, and by the time he tried to shout after him, Zoro was too far away to hear.
Sanji stood there, feeling like his whole world just tilted on its axis.
What the hell just happened?
—
Zoro didn't show up for dinner that night. The rest of the crew seemed to sense that something had happened between him and Zoro, because they didn't question him too much about Zoro's abscense.
Sanji was really trying to convince himself he'd done nothing wrong here, tried telling himself that Zoro was probably out on the town, drinking and getting into fights as usual.
Deep down, he knew he messed up.
It had never been easy to tell how far is too far with Zoro. Sometimes, Sanji could tell him he wished he'd never been born, and Zoro would take it with a grin and a well-aimed swipe of his swords.
Other times, something Sanji said would cause him to grow quiet, grumbling something incoherent and quickly escaping to the crow's nest. Those times were few and far between, but they did happen.
But it had never been quite like this .
Sanji knew he had gone too far. This whole fake marriage thing might have been Zoro's fault, but he had done it to help Sanji. He hadn't meant to upset him.
But the situation was hitting a little too close to home for Sanji. Being close to Zoro, having all these assumptions made about them, and being referred to by Zoro's last name… It stirred something strange in Sanji, something he'd been desperately trying to ignore for a long time.
Because yes, he hated when people assumed things about him. He hated when people thought they knew him by just looking at him.
If he was being honest, though, what he'd really been afraid of was that maybe, people's assumptions weren't wrong. That he would find himself looking at Zoro when no one was paying attention, that his heart would beat faster when he was close, not out of anger, but something else entirely. That he would find himself longing to reach out and touch him, not out of lust or curiousity, just out of affection.
Sanji had been pushing down all of it for so long that he'd never stopped to consider if Zoro might feel the same. Zoro had never seemed to have any interest in anyone , regardless of gender, and Sanji had sort of assumed that Zoro was like Luffy; completely devoid of feelings of romantic or sexual attraction.
But now… When he thought about it, it was like there had been these signs all along, and he'd just been too blind to see them.
The way Zoro always helped him with the dishes and groceries, even though he got nothing out of it except Sanji yelling at him. The way he always had Sanji's back, ready to give his life for him at any moment.
And the way he'd been acting lately, with everyone thinking they're a couple. The way he had so clearly been jealous of that random bartender.
Sanji had been so focused on his own anger and embarrassment, he hadn't really stopped to analyze Zoro's behavior, other than finding it odd.
Because Sanji knew that Zoro cared about his name, even though he'd never said it. Zoro didn't speak about his family, but it was something about the way he talked about himself, how he related his name to his dreams and achievements.
So, the fact that he had called Sanji a Roronoa, seemingly without a second thought… It was almost like he actually thought of Sanji as a part of his family. Like it had been a natural thing to say.
And the way Zoro had acted when they got the updated bounty posters…
He had barely reacted at all. At the time, Sanji had assumed he just didn't care, but maybe, Zoro had just been trying to act unbothered. He hated anything that was inconvenient, so shouldn't he have been annoyed with the whole thing?
And then, just now, when Sanji had said all those things… Sanji had seen Zoro go through so much, and he'd never seen him like that.
Sanji tried to put it out of his mind and go to sleep that night, but it turned out to be impossible. All these questions and foreign emotions raced through his mind, and it was impossible for him to even get a wink of sleep.
In the earliest hours of the morning, Sanji finally gave up. He needed answers.
After quickly getting dressed, he quietly slipped out of his room and made his way out of the castle.
He had no idea where Zoro would be by now, especially considering his horrible sense of direction.
Somehow, his feet led him back to the Sunny, hoping that's where Zoro had ended up.
—
To his relief, Sanji found Zoro in the crow's nest. He could feel Zoro's presence in there as surely as he knew himself. The usual sounds of grunting and weights clanging were absent, and that was as good an indicator as any that something wasn't right.
He had to take multiple steadying breaths before he mustered up the will to knock on the door.
There was a beat of silence, and then he heard a grunt from inside that sounded a bit like "come in".
Zoro was sitting on the window seat opposite the door when Sanji came in. He had his eyes closed, and he didn't acknowledge Sanji's presence in the least, apart from a slight stiffening in his posture.
"Hey", was the only thing Sanji could think to say.
Predictably, Zoro didn't answer. Sanji sighed. He sat down tentatively next to Zoro.
The silence was beyond awkward.
"So…", Sanji finally said. "Are we going to talk about it?"
At last, Zoro opened his eyes, if only to glare at him.
"No", he said firmly, and Sanji couldn't help but sigh again.
"Zoro… Why did you run off?"
Zoro was quiet for long enough that Sanji almost thought he hadn't heard the question.
"You know why", he finally said.
"I can guess", Sanji replied. "But I think there's been enough assumptions made recently, don't you?"
He tried to sound as open and calm as possible, but he wasn't sure if he was successful. Zoro still looked like he would rather be anywhere else, and he was refusing to meet Sanji's eyes.
"I didn't mean for this to happen", he muttered. "Regardless of how I feel about you."
"And that is?"
"Dammit, Sanji, are you gonna make me say it?"
"Please", Sanji said quietly, and Zoro finally looked over at him.
"I gave you my name, right?", he mumbled. "You gotta know what that means."
Even though he expected the answer, Sanji still felt his face grow hot. He cleared his throat, trying to regain some composure.
Zoro flinched slightly at the sound. Sanji took a second to really take in the sight of him, and what he saw made him almost ache.
Zoro looked so unlike himself. His eyes were trained on the floor, and there was an angry flush spreading over his cheeks and to the tips of his ears.
Sanji knew that look, because he'd seen it in the mirror a thousand times.
"Oh", he said, because he really had been an idiot. The biggest, dumbest idiot on the whole planet.
Zoro huffed.
"Yeah. Oh."
Sanji cleared his throat again, and felt his face go from hot to flaming.
He took a second to collect himself, to gather his racing thoughts and come up with something to say that didn't totally expose himself.
After about thirty seconds of nothing, he gave up on his dignity, throwing his pride to the wind.
"I… I never said I didn't want your name", he mumbled, resolutely not looking at Zoro.
"Yes, you did. Multiple times, actually. You said-"
"I didn't mean it, obviously!", Sanji interrupted hotly. He risked a glance at Zoro and found him staring back.
He quickly looked away again.
"I never really mean what I say. You know that", he said, really hoping that was actually true. "I just didn't want people getting the wrong idea, thinking we were together."
He steeled himself.
"But, uh… If we really were together, then… I wouldn't mind."
Sanji cringed at his own awkward words. Why did he always lose all ability to be romantic or even coherent when it actually mattered?
"What do you mean?", Zoro asked, his eyes flicking over Sanji cautiously.
Sanji gave a crooked smile.
"You're really gonna make me say it?", he asked, imitating Zoro's words from just a few minutes ago.
Tentatively, he reached out for Zoro's hand, mostly to ground himself.
"I don't mind having your name", he said, keeping his eyes firmly fixed on their hands. "I was just… I don't like it when people assume things about me."
He took a deep breath.
"People see the way I dress and act and think they know everything about me. And even though I'm fine with who I am now, I… It just brings back bad memories."
Swallowing hard, he gripped Zoro's hand firmly. He'd never told anyone any of this before, and his nerves were absolutely frayed.
"Especially when what people assume about me is true", he breathed. "Secretly, I liked the idea of us together. And then, you didn't seem to care at all, so I just assumed…"
He trailed off, unsure how to put into words everything he'd been feeling.
"You assumed I wasn't interested?", Zoro finally said. His voice was gravelly, like he was forcing his words.
"Yeah."
They were quiet for a moment.
"You're an idiot."
Sanji's head shot up. He finally made eye contact with Zoro, who, Sanji was surprised to see, was smiling.
"Excuse me?", Sanji squaked, but Zoro just grinned even wider.
"I've been crazy about you since the moment we met, Sanji", he said simply, like he was just stating an irrefutable fact. "It's been obvious to everyone but you. There's no one else I'd rather share my name with, and no one else I'd trust to have my back like you do."
Sanji felt dumbfounded. He almost forgot how to breathe, hearing Zoro tell him everything he'd ever wanted to hear.
With a strangled noise of distress, he found himself covering his face. Why hadn't anyone ever told him just how embarrassing being in love would be?
"Shut up", he whined. "I love you, too", he then added under his breath, hoping Zoro wouldn't hear.
But Zoro laughed, clear and true, and Sanji couldn't help smiling behind his hands, too.
Gently, he felt Zoro's hands cover his own, gingerly pulling them away from his face and interlocking their fingers.
"So, you'll keep being Roronoa Sanji?", Zoro asked, a familiar glint in his eyes. Sanji knew he should be annoyed, but all he felt was a giddy sort of happiness bubble up inside.
"Yeah", he said. "For as long as you'll have me."
—
A few days later, Sanji came down to breakfast late, having slept in for a change. Everyone was already sat around the breakfast table, hunched over something.
"It really does look like they're sneaking off, huh?", he heard Nami say thoughtfully.
"Shh! Guys, please, Sanji will be here any second, and he won't like this!"
"Won't like what?", Sanji asked, gracefully sitting down in the empty seat next to Usopp, who looked ready to run away screaming, and Zoro, who was passed out cold on the table, snoring loudly.
"Nothing!", Usopp squeaked, trying to hide something behind his back. In a flash, Sanji had snatched it from his hands and held it up in front of him.
It was another newspaper.
"Sanji, please, you won't like it!"
Ignoring Usopp's protests and Nami and Robin's gleeful snickering, Sanji smoothed out the paper to read what it said.
"Pirate honeymoon! Roronoa Zoro and Sanji seen sneaking off into the night!"
There was a blurry picture underneath the headline, and Sanji could indeed make out himself and Zoro walking away from a party together, seemingly immersed in conversation.
Sanji eyed his crewmates, who were looking at him expectantly. Usopp and Franky both looked worried, although probably for different reasons.
He couldn't help himself.
"Zoro!", he yelled, injecting as much anger as he could into it.
In the seat next to him, Zoro startled awake, managing to bang his head against the high back of his chair.
"What?", he barked grumpily, rubbing the back of his head, and Sanji had to physically suppress a smile.
"You've landed us in the paper again!", he said, despite knowing that it was him who'd convinced Zoro to end the night early and follow him back to their room.
Not that it'd taken much convincing.
"Huh?", came Zoro's intelligent reply.
"Guys, come on! It's nothing to fight about!", said Usopp, nervously looking between the two of them.
"I disagree!", Sanji exclaimed, leaning over Zoro and gripping his tunic collar tightly.
"You wanna go, cook?", Zoro asked, clearly not knowing what the whole thing was about but always ready for a fight.
"You bet your ass", Sanji grinned, before tugging Zoro forward and connecting their lips together.
He heard Zoro let out a noise of confusion, but he quickly seemed to get with the program, eagerly kissing Sanji back and burying his hands in Sanji's hair.
Finally, Sanji broke away, with Zoro chasing his mouth.
"That's for starting this whole mess", he grinned, and Zoro stupidly grinned back, hair mussed and standing on end.
The crew was yelling, everyone either congratulating them or whining about some kind of bet being lost.
"I thought it would take at least another year!", Usopp said, while Nami and Robin laugh at him.
"Pay up, Mr. Sniper", Robin cooed.
But all that was background noise to Sanji.
He looked at Zoro, newly awoken and unkempt, and felt his heart swell with more affection than he knew what to do with.
And from the way he looked back at him, Sanji was pretty sure Zoro felt just about the same.
"If that was supposed to be a punishment", he said, "you gotta work on your tactics."
Sanji laughed, and his final thought before Zoro leaned back in for another kiss was that this might be the happiest he'd ever been. Surrounded by his real family, with everyone well-fed and squabbling merrily. And with Zoro, this stupid and impossible man he's come to love.