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“Hyung, you were so cute when you were younger!” Kai whined, accusingly holding up the Choi childhood photo book that the couple were flipping through. A pout evident, the younger boy pointed to a picture at the centre of the page.
“Look at yourself! Are you sure nobody had a crush on you during this time?” Soobin smiled sheepishly, ruffling his boyfriend's hair affectionately as he listened to him ramble his thoughts about his past. Frankly, he was quite embarrassed when they were given the photo book by Soobin’s mother, but seeing Kai so enthusiastic about something for the first time in a while made him temporarily push aside that feeling of unease.
“What year was this, hyung?”
A soft smile still gracing his lips, the elder boy leaned forward to quickly inspect the photo being presented to him. He vaguely remembered the setting: it was his first day in his new school after transferring, and his mother ‘conveniently’ held her camera that morning to snap a few photos of him that morning. This picture in particular showcased him hurriedly trying to slip his shoes on, hair a mess and backpack strap sliding down his arm.
“Twenty-sixteen. I remember it was my first day in my new school,” Soobin replied, then going to place a delicate kiss on his partner's cheek. Kai's pout appeared to deepen at the news. “Why?”
Shaking his head dismissively, Kai continued to flip through the book with a gleam of curiosity still in his eyes.
“I'm so glad I met you in Uni, then, because twenty-sixteen me would have definitely not bagged you the way twenty-twenty-one me did.”
Soobin's hand slithered to catch one of Kai’s, grasping it firmly with disappointment etched into his expression. The younger boy glanced up at his boyfriend's face at the contact, lips parting as he was startled by the sudden change in mood between them.
Instinctively, Soobin was going to tell him along the lines of, ‘That’s not true’ or ‘Why do you think that?’, but was unsure about the reaction he would get out of them. Rather, he kindly settled on saying,
“Don't be so harsh to your younger self. We've both changed a lot, plus, we were just kids back then.”
The defeated, melancholic grin that appeared on his younger boyfriend's face had his cheeks flaring up.
“You're right, hyung,” Kai whispered, placing his free hand on top of the hand pile. “Younger me wouldn't want to hear that.”
Silence enveloped them for a few seconds as the couple exchanged loving gazes until Kai suddenly spoke again.
“Younger me didn't even think I would make it to this age, actually,” he joked bitterly and laughed to himself.
Soobin grimaced at the thought of a life without Kai but didn't make a further comment on the subject.
“What about you, Hyuka? I wanna see a picture of baby you!”
The younger boy blinked for a moment, seemingly in thought, before he wriggled his hands away and reached for his phone on the other side of the bed.
“I don't really keep pictures of my younger self on me…” he began as he unlocked his phone, tapping in the passcode both he and his boyfriend knew, “But I do think I actually have a picture of me from the same year. My older sister sent it to me a few months ago.”
The elder of the two waited patiently as he watched his partner open his gallery and start scrolling down, beady eyes transfixed on the way his thumbs moved and the corner of his lip twitched upwards when he caught a glance at one of the many, many pictures he had of Soobin. If Kai hadn't been so engrossed in finding the picture, Soobin would've honestly kissed him right then and there.
A couple of seconds passed until Kai's expression morphed again into a displeased one—despite the disapproval and blush of embarrassment, he shoved the phone in his boyfriend's direction, in which Soobin gladly held onto it to look at the photograph.
Soobin couldn't help but beam at the sight of a younger Kai.
“You were so cute! Gosh, Ningning, I think twenty-sixteen me would've been too much of a gay mess to even speak to you,” he chirped, smile only growing the longer he looked. Distantly, he heard the other boy groan, likely flustered.
The picture showed one of Kai in his early teens with his hair slightly outgrown and softer features, grinning up at the camera as he clutched onto a guitar, fingers placed precisely on some frets on the neck. Sunlight was shining through the window, illuminating the better half of his face, and if it wasn't for the poor picture quality, Soobin was sure that Kai's moles would’ve been very prominent. In the background, he caught a glance of more musical instruments leaning against the wall and shelves displaying a few manga collections. The photo emitted joy, truly, and Soobin squealed.
“You were such a baby~ Ah, I can't believe I didn't see this sooner!”
The younger boy chuckled at his boyfriend's antics, admiration coating his view of Soobin.
“Glad one of us likes it, then.”
Soobin turned his phone to Kai so that he could look at it again, and similar to how he had done, the elder boy pointed to the background.
“Is that your room?”
Kai sighed with a dull nod, and Soobin turned the device back to himself, looking over the picture once more.
“Do you miss it? Playing guitar, I mean. And everything else you used to play, apparently.”
Pondering for a moment, the younger boy craned his neck to stare at the ceiling, then just raised his shoulders in a shrug. Soobin had known only a little about his interest in music, but as Kai ended up studying Early Years and Childhood Studies in university, the topic didn't come up past that one time.
“I… I guess I do. I wanted to do music in Uni, actually, but stuff happened and, y’know… I'm here now. But I got to meet you, so everything's fine!”
Cautiously, carefully, calmly, Soobin's large hand landed on his partner's side in consolation before he grasped his waist with both hands and lifted the boy, plopping him between his legs and hugging him from behind. The elder boy rest his chin on Kai's shoulder, allowing himself to gently kiss his jaw and hold both of his hands in his own, the phone now long forgotten.
“Do you think you would be happier doing music?” Soobin murmured into his boyfriend's ear, feeling his frame shiver after the air hit his neck. Kai muttered something under his breath and intertwined their fingers.
“What are you trying to say, hyung?” the younger boy rebutted weakly.
“We can get you a guitar, or piano, or whatever you want to play. You can go back to school and do what you like. I've graduated, I've got a job, I can support us both. I'm completely okay with it, as long as you're happy.”
Soobin didn't mention the way Kai's hands tightened around his own, or the way his posture stiffened, or the way he gulped loudly; he simply waited.
“Hyung…”
The elder of the pair tightened his hold around the younger boy and nuzzled his face into the crook of his neck, caressing circles with his thumbs on the backs of Kai’s hands cathartically.
“You don't have to say anything, my love. It's just a suggestion and we can talk about it later,” Soobin assured, deciding to ignore the sudden wetness that had travelled down Kai's cheek and landed on his forehead.
“Thank you. I love you,” Kai croaked out as he let his body slump in the possession of his lover.
“I love you too, no matter what you decide to do.”