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Of all the times to be irrational…
Ed is aware on some level that the idea is stupid and childish and he should just let go, but he is more acutely aware that his ex is sitting on a bench, a bench he is going to have to walk by so he can get to his final destination.
Which means he has to walk in front of his ex looking like rubbish, with his comforting oversized maroon sweater that makes him look like a sack of potatoes, hair in a knot on top of his head and circles around his eyes as blue as the pristine shirt the asshole is wearing.
Ed refuses to look like shit in front of the guy who was so presumptuous as to cheat on him thinking he, Edward Elric, wouldn’t find out. He is not heartbroken as much as he is pissed, as the asshole basically insulted his brain and observational skills.
Hello? Scientist here!
So yeah, Ed has a small grudge and he doesn’t want the idiot to think his currently unkempt appearance has anything to do with their recent breakup.
It’s a quick decision really, more instinct than reasoning, to accost the first man walking by.
He is relatively tall, with dark hair and pale complexion and, as he turns around with a slightly arched brow, Ed almost faints under the scrutinizing black eyes.
Just his luck to cross his ex and make a fool of himself in front of an attractive stranger, all in the span of two minutes. It’s too late to turn back though.
“Uhm, hi! I…I’m sorry…this is going to sound creepy and lame at the same time, but…could you just…I dunno, circle my shoulders? Walk arm in arm with me to the exit gate? My ex is sitting over there and I’d like to have a somewhat petty revenge, kinda…”
Ed is not sure if the man has understood a single word at the speed he spoke to push everything out, but he is not screaming nor running for the hills, which is good in his book.
The stranger blinks twice, as if to dispel his stupor, before letting his gaze travel down Ed’s figure and then back up. It doesn’t take that much, but Ed has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from squirming. The slight pain can’t help him with the blushing, though.
He is opening his mouth to apologize, all too ready to bolt, when the man smirks, stepping closer and actually doing as requested.
“Ok, i’ll help you.”
The weight of the arm around his shoulders, even if unfamiliar, is pleasant and Ed finds himself wrapped in the scent of jasmine and tobacco, reeling from the sudden closeness and the smoothness of the stranger’s voice.
“Th-thank you…you’re a lifesaver…”
He murmurs, more than a bit embarrassed.
The man squeezes his shoulder reassuringly.
“That’s no problem at all.”
Damn. This was such a bad idea.
Ed is still a bit stunned that he actually, honest to God, approached the most attractive men this side of town for something so ridiculous. And that said main accepted without battling an eye and is currently cradling him against his side.
The warmth he can feel even through their respective clothes distracts him for a moment too long, which he realizes only when his impromptu companion squeezes his shoulder once more.
“So…where is this ex of yours?”
“Oh! Over there, on the second bench…the guy with the blue shirt.”
The man turns to take a peek discreetly, producing a noncommittal hum upon spotting the bench and its occupant.
“You can hold my waist if you wish.” He says, turning back to Ed with a winning smile. “Shall we?”
And that’s how Ed ends up walking down the trail with his arm around a stranger’s waist, hand gingerly resting on his hip, almost forgetting the whole point of it as he keeps sneaking glances at the man’s profile.
He must admit to himself that, even if his plan sucks, he did pick the right accomplice. With looks like that, there’s no way they’re going to go unnoticed.
“He is staring.”
The man confirms, in fact, as they approach their target.
Ed clumps down on the instinct to check and instead turns to his escort, face upward to compensate for the (minimum) height difference.
“Is he?”
He asks, almost distractedly, his attention derailed by the way the stranger cards his free hand through the short black locks.
“Of course he is.”
The man confirms, the hand that was on Ed’s shoulder sliding to the nape of his neck, as he leans down. Ed feels his heart do something funny (and probably lethal) in his chest when the stranger’s lips hover in front of his nose.
It’s just a moment, but he knows what it must have looked like from the bench that’s behind him by this point.
“That was very smart…”
He croaks out, a bit breathless and taken aback by the intensity of his body’s response. He can feel his cheeks warming up as he stays unmoving in the other’s hold.
At least until the stranger straightens, his face going blank for a moment, before a small frown mars his forehead.
“Not really…i don’t think so.”
He protests, sending a scathing look at something over Ed’s head (probably his staring ex) and moving forward, pulling Ed with him.
“Why not? Didn’t it work?”
Ed asks, feeling a pang of disappointment at the sudden change of demeanor, that lasts all of one second, quickly swept away by the man snorting.
“It did work, yes. But I didn't take something into consideration before acting.”
The man explains, lips quirked in the smallest of smirks, eyes glinting with mischief.
Ed arches a brow.
“What?”
The dark gaze pierces him.
“My…curiosity.”
The word rolls off the man’s tongue in such a way that’s impossible to feign ignorance.
They are just passing the gate, out of the park and out of sight of his ex, so it’s safe to disentangle himself from the man, before he can combust in a mix of embarrassment and intrigue.
Ed is happy to note the other doesn’t try to stop him, simply pushing his hands in the pockets of his coat, all the while never taking his eyes away.
“I don’t kiss strangers, not even the ones who help me. My mom taught me better than that.”
Even if I would like to, Ed adds mentally, crossing his arms on his chest and cocking an hip, putting up his stubborn front and ignoring the blush he can still feel on his face.
The man just chuckles.
“Isn't it a bit late to worry about stranger danger?”
Well, he does have a point.
Feeling his lips twitch up in a smile, Ed shrugs.
“I might have missed a lesson or two, but i’m not stupid.”
The man takes a cautious step forward, unknowingly making Ed’s guts dance the Macarena.
“I don’t think you’re stupid. I think you are unfairly handsome. And that I really would like to offer you a coffee, or a dinner. Or a coffee and a dinner.”
Said like a smooth bastard.
Ed fixes him with narrowed eyes.
“I don’t even know your name.” He protests.
“That’s easily fixed. Roy Mustang.” Is the immediate answer.
“Sounds like a fake name.”
The man shakes his head, clearly amused.
Ed can see in his eyes that same sparkle he caught before, the one that says I throughly enjoy misbehaving.
“You seem incredibly distrusting for someone who approached a stranger asking him to basically hug you.”
Oh, how Ed wishes he could cancel that satisfied smirk from the other’s face together with his own blush.
“You seem incredibly irritating for someone so ready to help people who have terrible ideas.”
He grumbles, looking away, only to snap his eyes back to him when Roy laughs, his head tilted back and his eyes squeezed against the pale November sun.
“I’ll show you my ID if you let me buy you a coffee in a very public place where I can't do anything unsavory to you.”
He offers, laugh petering out to leave behind a small smile that is no less enticing.
“You couldn’t do anything unsavory to me either way. I know three different martial arts.”
Ed challenges, refusing to be seen like a pretty little thing.
Mister Roy Mustang has no idea what he is getting himself into, with his flirting and his perfectly symmetrical features.
“Something we have in common, then. I am only getting more curious.”
And that’s it.
Ed falls for it hook, line and sinker.
“Ok. One coffee.” He concedes, quickly adding “And don’t let it go to your head.”
Roy doesn’t.
It’s the kiss they share after the second dinner date that has him smirking like the cat who got the milk.
“Not a word, Mustang.”
Ed grumbles, hands still fisted around the lapels of his coat.