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Mo Ran didn’t technically need to work.
He’d lived with his uncle’s family since he’d started high school and he’d never wanted for anything since, and even though he’d had a slow start due to his earlier years going from foster home to foster home, he’d caught up enough that he’d secured a scholarship for his undergraduate degree.
Still, he was technically an adult and he wanted to make sure no one thought he got preferential treatment at university just because his uncle was the director – unlike Xue Meng, he didn’t have brilliant grades to back him up –, and so during the second semester of his first year he decided to get a part time job.
He was fortunate enough to find a job so close to campus, but unfortunate enough that it meant he needed to work from 6 to 10am 4 days a week. (Still, when he found out the owner and main baker of the shop was there much, much earlier, he suddenly realized he wasn’t all that unfortunate.)
And so, every Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday, Mo Ran was up at 5am to get ready for work, and was nursing a thermos full of homemade coffee on his way to the bakery.
His shift started at 6, where he made sure to get every machine started up and set up the display with the bread and pastries the owner had prepared, and as an added bonus he was able to help out in the back and make pastries of his own before the shop opened at 7.
He’d thought no one would actually be there that early but, to his surprise, he found the bakery was actually quite active in the early hours of the morning.
People of all kinds came and went for a quick breakfast – executives, students coming from an all nighter (or a party), professors, construction workers –, and Mo Ran was there to serve them. They were all usually so tired, either ending or starting their day, that none of them were usually very chatty.
The biggest surprise, however, was when Chu Wanning walked through the door and halted as he came face to face with one of his students.
“Chu laoshi!” Mo Ran greeted, forcing a polite smile on his face. “I didn’t know you came to this bakery.”
“A salted caramel latte and a slice of strawberry shortcake, please,” Chu Wanning ordered, ignoring his greeting.
Chu Wanning looked even more closed off than he usually did, and it took everything in Mo Ran to keep him from trying to antagonize his professor in return.
What was his problem? Mo Ran knew Chu Wanning held no amount of any kind of pleasant feeling for him, but he didn’t need to act as though he was personally slighting him for being his server – he was just trying to make a living!
Mo Ran busied himself with fulfilling his order, never letting the polite smile falter from his face even though the way Chu Wanning avoided his eyes only served to anger him, and when Chu Wanning finally paid for his order and left he finally allowed himself to scowl.
Much like every other student in the Engineering department, Mo Ran had been charmed by Chu Wanning at first.
How could he not, really? The man was nothing short of beautiful, despite the near perpetual look of annoyance he wore, and on top of that he was absolutely brilliant in his field.
Being taught by Chu Wanning was a privilege, and Mo Ran lucked out when he took to visiting his office hours only to find they were usually empty, meaning he was able to get nearly 1:1 tutoring sessions with him.
Very soon, however, he found out why he seemed to be so unpopular despite his brilliance and his good looks.
Chu Wanning was merciless.
He was known for being like that, known for always keeping a sturdy barrier between himself and everyone else, be them students or professors (with the notable exception of Xue Zhengyong), but for some reason Mo Ran had still expected something different.
Surely Chu Wanning would be nicer to him since he actually bothered to go to his office hours and wanted to learn and become better? He definitely seemed to treat Xue Meng and Shi Mei a little better, since they were the only two people who went to his office hours as well…
And yet, Chu Wanning just seemed to be worse with him. He seemed to hold even higher standards for Mo Ran, often refused to look him in the eyes, and scolded him constantly during their sessions.
So Mo Ran started attending office hours less and less, preferring to ask Shi Mei – who was infinitely nicer and softer than Chu Wanning – for help instead.
Chu Wanning didn’t even notice, he bet. Mo Ran was less than the dirt on the sole of his shoe, clearly.
Except, Chu Wanning definitely noticed when he overheard Mo Ran talking about how much of a dick he was with some of the other students in his class.
He felt bad at first – Chu Wanning was probably feeling awful from having to hear that –, but when he’d gone to apologize after class, Chu Wanning had merely ignored him, looking as unbothered as he did every other day.
Cold. Heartless. Those were all very good adjectives for Chu Wanning.
Still, Mo Ran had much better things to think about.
Like how red Xue Meng had gotten when he’d teased him earlier that morning when he’d caught him sneaking in after spending much, much longer than he’d anticipated at the Mei Hanxues’ house. Or the small box of pastries he was going to fill and take to Shi Mei and how soft he would look as he thanked him.
Still, it was hard to keep from thinking about Chu Wanning when he saw him in class later that day, or even 2 days later when he once again walked into the bakery at 7 something in the morning.
He ordered a sugar monstrosity in a cup – something with extra caramel – and a slice of lemon cake along with a box of miniature pastries.
Was he going to eat all of those?… Surely not?
The image of cold, heartless Chu Wanning was somehow incompatible with this version of him who seemed to love sweets, and Mo Ran couldn’t understand how on earth someone so bitter could like something so disturbingly sweet.
Maybe he was planning on offering the food to someone else, but Mo Ran couldn’t really imagine that either – he’d have to actually get along with someone for that.
Still, this pattern repeated for several weeks – with Chu Wanning studiously pretending he didn’t know who Mo Ran was, only to either scold him or ignore him in class – until one day Chu Wanning arrived later than usual at the bakery.
This in itself wouldn’t be much of anything, if only it didn’t mean he’d arrived at a time when Mo Ran was taking his break in the back, helping himself to a snack and scrolling on his phone.
He’d noticed Chu Wanning hadn’t been in yet that morning – not because he looked forward to it, but rather because he was used to seeing him at a certain time, on certain days – and he’d allowed himself to wonder if something had happened.
Was he sick? Was something wrong? Was he delayed by something? Was he– delayed by someone…?
No, surely not. Someone as frigid as Chu Wanning wouldn’t ever let anyone into his bed, nor would he ever be able to attract anyone either.
He didn’t really care, and yet he couldn’t help but open the backdoor just a little bit so he could look at Chu Wanning and see if anything was out of place, namely, if he had any marks visible anywhere on his body.
Chu Wanning seemed as normal as ever, which settled him somewhat, but he found he couldn’t not overhear his exchange with Cai Fang, the owner’s wife who helped out during servers’ breaks.
“Good morning,” she greeted cheerily, “I haven’t seen you in a while! How have you been?”
“Good,” Chu Wanning said, to Mo Ran’s great shock. They knew each other? “I’ve been coming in a little earlier lately so I must have missed you.”
“Ah, so you’ve been served by our new employee,” she said. “What can I get for you today?”
Chu Wanning ordered a gingerbread latte, a slice of yogurt cake – by far the least sugary purchase he’d made since Mo Ran had started working there – and a box of miniature pastries. He didn’t always order the box, Mo Ran had noticed, seeming to do it only about once a week.
“This is different from your usual,” Cai Fang noted, unafraid to pry into Chu Wanning’s business. “Any special events today?”
“It’s one of my students,” Chu Wanning admitted, clearly struggling with how personal the conversation was. “He brings me pastries every now and then so whenever he comes by for office hours I return the favor.”
“Oh, that’s very nice,” Cai Feng said, piling the box with far more pastries than he anticipated. “I bet ours are better, hm?”
“Actually, his pastries are from here as well,” he said.
Huh?? Which student was cheeky enough to be offering pastries to Chu Wanning and why did it seem to be working to the point that Chu Wanning was buying pastries once a week to split with them?? Who dared?!
Mo Ran shouldn’t – didn’t – care, but he couldn’t stop himself from mulling it over for the rest of his shift.
Why was it that he’d tried so hard to win over Chu Wanning back in his first semester, only to be painfully turned down and be treated worse than any of the other students in class, but this guy – whoever he was – had it easy? What did he have that he didn’t? And who exactly had started attending Chu Wanning’s office hours between then and now?
Xue Meng didn’t need the pastries to endear himself to Chu Wanning, and Shi Mei wasn’t that type of guy, so Mo Ran was drawing a blank.
Hours later, as he hovered in the hallway near Chu Wanning’s office in an attempt to take a look at the culprit, he told himself he was being perfectly normal, thank you very much. He just wanted to know.
And yet, the only student to attend office hours that day was Shi Mei.
Ha. Had Chu Wanning been stood up?
“Thank you, Chu laoshi,” Shi Mei – perfect, soft Shi Mei – said as he walked out of Chu Wanning’s office at the end of their session. “And thank you again for the pastries, they were delicious.”
????????
“No need to thank me, you always share yours with me as well, after all,” Chu Wanning said, “and I always eat far too many.”
“I’m happy to share, laoshi,” Shi Mei said, and Mo Ran couldn’t see his face but he could imagine how sweet his smile must look, “I’m not big into sweets, but I’m happy to get them for you.”
They parted ways then, with Chu Wanning returning to his office and Shi Mei heading in Mo Ran’s direction, and he found himself waiting for Shi Mei to run into him.
“Shi Mei,” he greeted, feeling much less accommodating towards him than usual.
“Mo Ran,” Shi Mei greeted, clearly surprised. “What are you doing here?”
“I was just passing by,” he said, shrugging. “Did I hear you say you get pastries for Chu laoshi? Are they the ones I usually give you?”
Shi Mei remained silent, which was enough of an answer for Mo Ran.
“You could’ve told me you didn’t like sweets,” he said. Instead of using them to hit on Chu laoshi , he mentally added.
“I didn’t want to make you feel bad,” Shi Mei said, “or to hurt our friendship. You know I don’t have many friends.”
It was true. Shi Mei, despite his sweet disposition, didn’t seem to be very good at making friends, only really getting along with Mo Ran and his cousin… and Chu Wanning, apparently. Mo Ran didn’t understand it very well, but.
So, “It’s okay,” he said, smiling at Shi Mei as he usually did. “I really don’t mind.”
☾
He didn’t give Shi Mei any pastries anymore. He took them home to Xue Meng and his parents instead, and he watched Chu Wanning like a hawk to see whether he kept buying boxes of pastries to share with Shi Mei. To his great displeasure, he did.
It shouldn’t drive him so crazy and he shouldn’t care so much, but he couldn’t help it. He just wanted an in with Chu Wanning, he wanted to know what was so unlikeable about him that made Chu Wanning reject him so harshly.
Naturally, he decided to return to his office hours.
“Mo Ran,” Chu Wanning greeted, surprised, when he saw him walk into his office early on in his second year of university.
“Chu laoshi,” he greeted, sending him one of his usual disarming smiles. Just as he’d predicted, Chu Wanning was quick to avert his gaze.
“How can I help you today?” Chu Wanning asked, busying himself with shuffling random stacks of documents he had strewn around his desk so as to avoid looking at him.
“I wanted to discuss something from your last lesson…”
Soon, Mo Ran became a frequent presence in Chu Wanning’s office hours again. While his grades were certainly becoming impressive and he found himself learning far more than he had the previous semester, back when he was constantly irritated with Chu Wanning, he had still not made much progress with Chu Wanning himself.
His professor had started to relax around him and no longer averted his gaze as much, seemingly having gotten used to Mo Ran’s presence, but for some reason that didn’t make him happier at all. He yearned for something different, for Chu Wanning to treat him not like he would any other student, but not like he did before either.
He knew he was attracted to Chu Wanning in a way that nearly made him feel sick given how much Chu Wanning had made it clear during the past two years how little he wanted to have to do with Mo Ran, but it wasn’t until he stayed late on campus one night that he realized how much more he wanted from him.
Mo Ran knew Chu Wanning started his days early, but he had no idea he finished them so late.
He’d seen him twice already that day – once in the early morning at the bakery and then later during class, having stayed a few minutes after class to get his opinion on something – and had expected that to be that, but instead as he walked towards the building entrance to start making his way back home, he saw Chu Wanning chatting with two students and handing them his umbrella.
“Are you sure?” one of them asked, looking doubtfully at the pouring rain outside. “How will you get home?”
“My car is right there, so it’s fine,” he said, still holding out his umbrella. “Just take it,” and he shoved it into the hands of one of them.
“We could walk you with the umbrella to your car,” the student suggested, but Chu Wanning only stiffened.
“I still need to go back to my office. Please, just go.”
The students finally left, thanking him profusely, but Chu Wanning stayed right where he was, not going back to his office at all. In fact, once the students were out of sight, Mo Ran watched as Chu Wanning also made his way out of the building, but he didn’t turn to run to the parking lot; instead, he walked right out the normal campus entrance, unbothered by the rain mercilessly pouring down on him.
Mo Ran was too surprised by his behavior to react at first, but when he did, running out of the building in an attempt to get to Chu Wanning and share his umbrella with him, he was already out of sight, mingling with the dozens of people out in the street.
The next day, Mo Ran found out Chu Wanning had gotten sick and his classes had been canceled for the rest of the week.
☾
Mo Ran wasn’t sure he could explain whatever it was that was going through his head, though an idea was starting to form, but during the week Chu Wanning was sick he tried several times to get his address out of his uncle.
Xue Zhengyong had been surprised, but had told him that unfortunately he couldn’t exactly give away a professor’s personal information to anyone who asked – even if it was to such a well-meaning student like Mo Ran – and Mo Ran had briefly pondered whether he could try to hack into his uncle’s laptop and attempt to find the information himself.
In the end, he was acting so strangely that week that Xue Meng ended up cornering him.
“What are you thinking?” he’d asked him, in the straightforward manner that was so very Xue Meng. “You’ve been hanging around Chu laoshi a lot more this year but you went around badmouthing him all of last year, so – what are you planning?”
“I didn’t badmouth him all of last year,” he deflected, choosing to ignore the rest of his questions.
“Seriously, stop whatever it is you’re planning!” Xue Meng said, crossing his arms and looking a lot like a very spoiled child. “Chu laoshi is far too good and deserves more than you making fun of him just because you feel like it.”
Mo Ran frowned at that. He knew he wasn’t making fun of Chu Wanning, but it was true that, given how he’d acted in the past, his actions could be perceived as such. “I’m not making fun of him,” he ended up saying, even if he knew Xue Meng didn’t quite believe him.
The following week, when Chu Wanning walked into the bakery as usual and ordered a vanilla latte with extra sugar, Mo Ran added even more for good measure and made sure to give him the largest slice of chocolate cake they had.
“I’m glad you’re feeling better, laoshi,” he said, grinning at him sincerely while Chu Wanning tapped his card on the terminal. “I was really worried there for a few days.”
Chu Wanning coughed, taking the warm drink that Mo Ran was holding out to him, and mustered out only a “thank you”. When he turned to leave, however, Mo Ran could clearly see – the tips of his ears were red.
☾
After that, Mo Ran redoubled his efforts.
Having realized he had what was a very fat crush on his gorgeous and definitely not heartless professor, and knowing said professor would not trust him easily but seemed to be at least somewhat affected by him, he knew he needed to put in the work.
Even though he was worried for his overall health, he started bringing his own boxes of pastries for Chu Wanning when he went to his office hours and, sometimes, even when Chu Wanning wasn’t holding office hours that day.
“I’ve never seen these on display before,” Chu Wanning had commented the first time, looking intently at the pastries laid out in front of him.
“These aren’t for sale,” he said, grinning as Chu Wanning looked up at him in confusion. “I made them myself this morning before my shift started.”
Chu Wanning’s eyes had widened and he’d quickly stuffed his mouth with a pastry and looked away, but Mo Ran had clearly seen the way his cheeks had started to redden.
Eventually, he took it one step further.
“Chu laoshi,” he greeted, stepping into his office on an inconspicuous Wednesday morning.
“Mo Ran,” Chu Wanning greeted, surprised. “What are you doing here?”
It was near lunchtime, and Mo Ran had noticed – as he couldn’t help but notice everything about Chu Wanning – that the professor rarely spent his lunch break outside of his own office. It wasn’t until Xue Zhengyong commented once that, actually, he always made sure to drag Chu Wanning out for lunch every few days because the man tended to forget his own mealtimes, that Mo Ran realized he probably spent the whole day without eating anything other than breakfast.
“I accidentally made too much food last night,” he lied, taking out two boxes of food and handing one to Chu Wanning. “Xue Meng already has his own, so I figured… you might like it?”
Chu Wanning looked at the box contemplatively. “What about Shi Mei?”
“I haven’t seen him yet today,” he lied.
Chu Wanning ended up taking the box with him, quietly thanking Mo Ran.
Eventually, Mo Ran offered him lunch enough times that Chu Wanning started inviting him to eat with him. Mo Ran was far too pleased at this development, though he wasn’t as pleased when he realized how red Chu Wanning got every time he ate his food.
“You– you don’t like spicy food?” he asked, horrified, remembering how many times he’d brought him extra spicy food, erroneously assuming he liked it.
“It’s fine,” Chu Wanning rasped out, drinking copious amounts of iced tea. “I like the food you make.”
Mo Ran was still horrified, but was far too flustered at Chu Wanning admitting he liked his cooking to do anything but stare in wonder at his professor as he proceeded to eat the rest of his food box, not leaving even a single crumb behind.
After that, naturally, he never cooked spicy food again, and he made sure to bring him extra pastries the next day.
By the end of the school year their relationship had visibly progressed – Xue Meng had certainly noticed and had very pointed opinions on it, and even Shi Mei had only politely smiled as he commented on it too –, but Mo Ran didn’t know what to do.
He didn’t know whether Chu Wanning would keep going to the bakery in the mornings when he no longer had any teaching to do, and the idea of spending 2-3 months without seeing him and possibly losing all progress they’d made was far too daunting.
The idea of coming clean with his feelings, however, was also a little scary.
Chu Wanning treated him infinitely better than he had before, and he clearly became flustered around him, but was it really realistic to think there might be more to it? Should Mo Ran really risk ruining the tentative friendship between them or should he wait until he graduated? He could wait two more years… right?
Wrong.
Mo Ran had never been one for beating around the bush, and this time he wouldn’t be either. That was, at least, what he told himself as he knocked on Chu Wanning’s door for the last time that semester.
Chu Wanning had gone out for lunch with Xue Zhengyong that day and he hadn’t held office hours, but it was the last day of the semester and Mo Ran couldn’t miss his chance, so at the end of the day, when he knew Chu Wanning was undoubtedly in his office working on his personal projects, he decided to make his move.
He was, unfortunately, not alone.
“Shi Mei,” he greeted, watching as Shi Mei plastered on the same polite smile he always wore whenever Mo Ran said anything about Chu Wanning. “I didn’t realize you would be here.”
“I was just leaving,” Shi Mei said. “I came to say goodbye to Chu laoshi.” He turned towards Chu Wanning again and said, in a far sweeter voice, “Thank you again for everything, laoshi. I look forward to seeing you again next year.”
Chu Wanning nodded at him, face softer than Mo Ran would have liked. “Enjoy your break, Shi Mei.”
Shi Mei brushed past him as he left, offering him yet another polite smile, and then Mo Ran was left alone with Chu Wanning and his hands were suddenly clammy with sweat.
“Laoshi,” he said, taking a step closer to Chu Wanning.
Chu Wanning was standing in front of his desk, watching as Mo Ran gradually inched closer, but not saying anything. When he saw Mo Ran wasn’t going to say anything else, however, “Did you also come to say goodbye?”
“No,” he said, suddenly feeling more confident than before. “I don’t want to say goodbye to you.”
“I don’t understand,” Chu Wanning said, frowning in confusion.
“I want to keep seeing you,” he clarified, full of conviction.
“But you will keep seeing me,” Chu Wanning said, still frowning. “You’ll be back in just 3 months.”
“Laoshi,” he said, inching closer, close enough that he could reach out and take Chu Wanning’s hand if he wanted to, “Wanning,” and he delighted in the way Chu Wanning gasped in surprise at such a familiar address, “I want to keep seeing you during the break.”
“What for?” Chu Wanning asked, clearly lost in the conversation. “To study?”
“No,” he said, shaking his head, that time actually reaching out for Chu Wanning’s hand. Chu Wanning was trembling, he noticed, and he was so surprised at whatever it was that was going on in his office that he didn’t even think to pull away. “I want to keep talking with you and having lunch with you – or dinner, even – and maybe go on walks with you or have coffee with you and make more pastries for you–”
“I don’t understand,” Chu Wanning said, though he still didn’t pull away. “Mo Ran, I’m your teacher–”
“I like you as far more than a teacher,” he blurted out, and he watched as Chu Wanning’s beautiful phoenix eyes widened comically, “and if you don’t feel the same way that’s fine, I can handle it, but if you do– if you do, won’t you give me a chance?”
“I-I- you’re my student–”
“I can enroll in different classes if that’s the problem–”
“I’m old–”
“What are you talking about? You almost look younger than me–”
“I’m ugly–”
“I’ve never seen anyone more beautiful,” he said, hoping he could convey his full sincerity. “Wanning…”
“There is nothing likable about me,” Chu Wanning said, averting his gaze.
In response, Mo Ran squeezed his hand and pulled on his hand to bring him closer to him. “You’re brilliant and you’re so kind,” he said, watching as Chu Wanning’s frown deepened. “I saw you that day when it was raining hard and you lent your umbrella to your students and then walked home in the rain and got sick. Not many people would do that.”
“That was one time,” Chu Wanning protested.
“What about the time Hou Ping got a low grade on one of his tests and you offered him private tutoring sessions to help him?”
“That’s my job.”
“Not really,” he countered. “And the time some of the other students were teasing Xue Meng and you stepped in to defend him? And don’t say it’s your job,” he hurriedly added, before Chu Wanning could open his mouth.
“Even still,” Chu Wanning said, looking down at where their hands were joined together, “none of those things are enough to justify you l-liking me.”
“Wanning,” he said, feeling impossibly soft as he looked at the ridiculous man in front of him, “of course they’re enough. I like you just as you are.”
“Oh.” Oh , he said, as if the thought of anyone possibly liking him was so incredibly foreign to him.
Chu Wanning’s hands were still trembling, but the tremors seemed to lessen as Mo Ran slowly used his thumb to stroke the back of his hand.
“Wanning,” he said, after a beat had passed, “do you like me too?”
Chu Wanning didn’t answer. Instead, he slowly turned his head upwards again, so he could look at Mo Ran, and he turned his hand in his so he could squeeze it back.
And for Mo Ran, that was enough.