Work Text:
“Do ya want a cort a panda?” Will asked Jenson, car keys in his hand.
“Do I want to what?” Jenson asked, looking scandalized.
“Cort a panda…” Will repeated.
“No, I most certainly do not,” Jenson answered, never having been more insulted in his life.
“... innit your cheat day?” Will asked.
“And you want me to court a panda on it?” Jenson asked.
“Yeah? Maybe one with bacon? I’ll even drive to that fanzy place you like,” Will answered.
“I thought pandas didn’t eat meat?” Jenson looked puzzled.
“What do pandas have to do with this? Do you want to go to the zoo?” Will asked, mirroring Jenson’s confusion.
“Think of the headlines!” Jenson interjected.
“Two Formula 1 drivers enjoying a day at the zoo?” Will answered, clearly not seeing any issues with it.
“No, of me courting a panda…” Jenson clarified.
“Formula 1 drivers gotta eat too, Hülkenberg does it all the time,” Will answered.
“... he does WHAT?” Jenson answered.
“Yeah usually with pízza, but sometimes he goes to McDonald's for a cort a panda,” Will answered.
“He fucks pizza?” Jenson just knew that this realization would keep him up for days.
“No! He eats pizza, why would he fuck a pizza?” Will asked.
“... You are the one who is talking about fucking pandas and pizzas, not me…” Jenson answered.
“I am asking you if you want me to buy you a big hamburger when I go out as it is your cheat day today you wanker,” Will yelled.
“... why didn’t you just say so?” Jenson asked.
“I did, several times,” Will answered, looking slightly hurt. “Don’t you pay attention when I talk?”
“I pay attention,” Jenson answered, deciding to not say it’s not my fault you only make sense about half the time…
“Sure you do, text me with your burger order, I’m running late for an appointment,” Will answered, bending down so he could kiss Jenson who was sitting on the sofa.