Chapter Text
Nicole stared at herself in her mirror. The image she saw reflected at herself was one she hadn’t really seen in a while. For starters, she looked… less ghastly than usual? Not to say she wasn’t still pale as shit, because she was, but there was a little life in her that was lacking these past few weeks.
…Probably because she took a shower.
But anyway, her hair was also freshly washed, dried, and styled, let down to loosely cascade over her shoulders. She had put a bit of makeup on; some concealer to hide her dark circles, mascara, and just some lipgloss because she wasn’t trying
that
hard. Nicole also dug out the expensive black dress shirt Ari had gotten her for her 20th birthday that was previously rotting away in her closet and put it on. Then she had attempted to tie a tie around her neck before giving up and putting on a 10-minute-long YouTube tutorial, completing the look with some slacks and heeled loafers.
She looked nice, she supposed. Not much like the anemic-looking bitch that didn’t bathe and ate soda crackers and instant noodles to keep herself alive, though she still felt like her.
Typically Nicole wouldn’t get so dressed up for shit like this. She usually didn’t dress up for interviews unless they were important, or to go out, or for anything; that’s why the nice shirt had been in her closet for so long without her trying it on once. And really, she wasn’t trying to impress anyone. It’s just that this was her first day of “work” and she wasn’t trying to
look
like a crusty bitch that had beer bottles scattered around her apartment. She actually
wanted
the job, sue her.
Nicole tore her eyes away from the mirror and grabbed her jacket, shrugging it on. If she stared at herself any longer she’d start spiraling into some self-deprecating episode and would force herself to change into something else or just bail on the job entirely. She didn’t have time for that today. It was almost 9pm, the time the pub owner had told her to show up. If she wanted to make a good impression she’d have to get there a little early.
–
Nicole walked into the pub, hands shoved into the pockets of her jacket. Her eyes darted around, waiting for someone to jump at her, begging for an autograph or a picture. But when she made it to the counter and nobody did so much as even look at her, her tense shoulders relaxed slightly.
“Nicole! Great to see you came back!” The cheery voice of the owner boomed throughout the pub, making Nicole tense up again as she sat down on the stool in front of him. She took another glance throughout the place, looking at the handful of patrons who were too absorbed in their drunken conversations to spare her a glance.
“Yeah,” She huffed, staring at the bespectacled man. He sported a large grin, one that didn’t
feel
predatory but could have the chance of being. You never knew with men.
“So like I told you yesterday, we’re in need of a bartender. I suppose you haven’t worked in customer service before?” He asked, tilting his head down and sending her a knowing glance. He looked like a fucking teacher.
And ignoring the uncanny resemblance to that bird brain Mr. Burleday, Nicole was offended at the assumption. Did she look like a bitch who was jobless? Well, she was, but did she
look
like one??
“What makes you think that?” She sarcastically drawled, crossing her arms.
“Hm... well…” As Nicole stared at him and he scratched his stubbly cheek trying to come up with a response, she looked down at his ugly plaid polo shirt. There was a name tag pinned to his shirt which read
David
that she hadn’t noticed yesterday. Fucking fitting.
After a couple seconds of silence, Nicole waved him off. “Save it, I don’t really care. You’re right, I’ve never worked in customer service before.” She grit her teeth trying to force the last sentence out. Saying she’d never worked in something as common as customer service at 25 years of age was pretty fucking humiliating.
“I thought so,” David nodded, humming in consideration. “I do want you to do bartending today but throwing you straight into it is a horrible idea so I think I’ll just have you do waitressing. All you have to do is take the patron’s orders, bring them back to me and I’ll give you the drinks for you to give them. Simple, right?”
He reached over the counter to pat her shoulder in some weird gesture that was attempting to be comforting but was the fucking opposite. Nicole stiffened, flinching away from the grizzly bear of a human. She glared at him, and if looks could kill he’d probably be standing there with his head blown off his body. Who the
fuck
does this guy think he is to touch her?
David pulled back immediately, at least he had the decency to look guilty. “Sorry, sorry. Uhm, yeah. Waitressing it is for you.”
David led Nicole to the back where she put her stuff down and he let her chill for a bit before she actually needed to start working. She had popped a xan while he wasn’t looking because there was absolutely no shot she was working with people and getting through her shift sober.
It was 9:30 P.M. when Nicole walked out of the staff room. She wasn’t really sure what to do, she’d never done this before. Fuck.
Yeah, she was one of those bitches that needed a detailed run-down of everything she had to do for her to do it properly.
Fuck you.
When her hands shook slightly with the urge to light a cigarette, she shoved them into her pockets.
Eventually, after what was probably minutes of rocking slightly on her heels in awkwardness, the thing that actually got her to move her ass was the realization she most likely looked stupid as fuck standing there. She walked up to some random table, flashing the patrons sitting there an attempt at a smile and asking them if they’d ordered yet. They were drunk as fuck so her shitty, fake-ass smile didn’t garner any comments and they simply ordered another round of beer.
Okay. This wasn’t that bad.
About an hour later, Nicole had loosened up considerably. She hadn’t fucked anything up yet (surprisingly) which boosted her confidence, and the xanax made the occasional annoying patron bearable to deal with. She was doing fine. Just two and a half hours left and she can go home.
Nicole was setting some drinks down on a table and vaguely registered the sound of the front door’s bells chiming. There hadn’t been any new customers in a hot minute, she was just serving everyone new rounds for the past hour.
She turned around, approaching the new customer who had sat down in a small booth with the same smile as earlier, though it was a little less stiff and awkward. The bored lilt in her voice never quite disappeared though.
“Hi, I’m Nicole. What would you like?” The one thing she really hated about this job was saying this shit over and over.
Hi, I’m Nicole!
Like she was some fucking robot or something.
The customer, who she just now realized was a tanned woman with long, wavy blonde hair seemed to freeze upon hearing her speak.
…Tanned with blonde hair? Wait a minute–
“Nicole?”
Jecka
looked up at her.
Those
brown eyes widened as they made eye contact, and Nicole, who had literally dreamed of this moment every night before she went to sleep for the last seven years, had
no fucking idea
what to say.
What
do
you say to the girl you haven’t seen or spoken to for seven fucking years, who you also happen to have a devastating crush on?
Nicole just kind of stood there and Jecka just kind of sat there. They both stared at each other, and Nicole could see the conflict storming in Jecka’s honey-brown eyes.
Fuck, those eyes… She had missed them.
“Yeah, that’s me.” Nicole said after a few moments of silence, and immediately wanted to jump out of the nearest window. What a fucking
nerdy
ass thing to say, she sounded like she was in a cartoon.
“I didn’t– I didn’t know you still lived in Seattle,” Jecka tore her eyes away, tucking a stray lock of blonde hair behind her ear. Nicole was mesmerized, eyes following the motion. “You work here?”
“No, Jecka, I’m cosplaying as a pub employee.” Nicole deadpanned. Jecka’s name rolled surprisingly smoothly off her tongue after not even uttering it for seven years.
Jecka let out a huff of a laugh, eyes glancing back up at Nicole. Nicole’s breath hitched at the way her eyelashes fluttered. She began to speak and while Nicole would have clung to her every word, she could only watch the way her glossy pink lips moved.
Nicole’s eyes took their time drinking Jecka in. She hadn’t seen her in so long after all, only watching a fabricated version of her through the media. Now that the real, true
,
and
genuine
Jecka was sitting right in front of her she didn’t want to look away.
Or, more like she
couldn’t
look away.
The girl she hadn’t seen since graduation. The girl she had written so many songs about, thought about when she was drunk and alone and sad was sitting right in front of her and she
wasn’t
hallucinating. Why the fuck would she dare to look away, even just for a second, knowing she could slip away from her again?
“...so, anyways– Nicole?” Jecka had a little frown on her face as Nicole snapped out of her thoughts. “Did you even hear anything I said?”
Nicole could hear the ‘bitch?’ at the end of that sentence, even if Jecka didn’t say it. It made her smile a bit. She just shrugged, a little bit at a loss for words at the moment. That’s gay as fuck, a girl making her literally speechless...
Jecka rolled her eyes. “I said I’m a regular here. It’s a really funny coincidence you work here too, though I don’t remember seeing you last week?” She rested her chin on her palm, staring up at Nicole.
“I just started working here today,” Nicole said, leaning against the booth’s seat Jecka was sitting on. She pretended not to notice the light flush that colored Jecka’s cheeks at the action.
“Makes sense, I remember David telling me the last bartender moved to LA for model opportunities or something and that he needed more staff. Good for that guy, he was cool.”
“You go here so often you know the owner
and
the employees?”
“I literally just said I’m a regular here???”
Nicole stifled a laugh, and Jecka’s eyes lit up. “The press don’t know?” Nicole then quips, watching Jecka’s pleased expression sour.
“No, they don’t. And I’d rather not talk about those assholes, I’m here to get fucked up.” Jecka huffed, crossing her arms.
“After the whole shitshow with that college guy, I get why.” Nicole’s mood suddenly deteriorated at rapid speeds thinking about that baseball dickhead, so she quickly moved on. “What do you want? Since you’re so buddy-buddy with David I’m sure he’d make anything for you.”
“Just tell him my usual, he’ll understand.” Jecka looks at her bright pink nails with nonchalance.
“Why the fuck do you have a usual?”
“Cause I’m a
regular
? Just get my drink, bitch.”
There it was. The amount of dopamine that flooded her system just by hearing Jecka call her a bitch again was enough to have her high on it for the rest of the night.
After a few more seconds of meaningless banter, Nicole walked over to the counter with a foreign sort of giddiness to her. It was honestly disgusting but she didn’t really care.
“What’s got you so cheery?” David asked with that teacher look of his as he mixed some drink; it quickly wiped the smile off her face.
“Nothing.” She drawled. “Hey, Jecka’s here. You know her, right? Says she’s a regular or something. She wants her usual.”
David’s eyes lit up at the mention of Jecka. Nicole felt something like jealousy creep up her throat.
“Of course! Let her know I’ll have it ready in a moment!” He said, quickly mixing the drink and pouring it into an iced glass. Pushing up his glasses, he began to make Jecka’s drink, whatever the fuck it was.
As Nicole leaned on the counter watching him work with a bored expression, he unfortunately decided to start a conversation.
“You seem like you know Jecka,” David idly comments, eyes glancing at her ever so often.
“I do.”
“Hmm, lemme guess… High-school friends?”
Nicole blinked, fixing her posture a little in shock at how accurately he guessed that. “Huh? How the fuck do you know that?”
“Jecka talks about you a lot. When you told me your name was Nicole, I just had to take one good look at you and I knew you were
her
Nicole.” David said with a smile. “This isn’t to say I hired you because of her by the way,” he quickly added.
Nicole’s heart fucking stuttered at the phrasing.
‘Her Nicole’
. And Jecka..
talked
about her? To this guy of all people?
“Right.” She awkwardly said, turning her head so he wouldn’t be able to see the blush on her cheeks or the smile on her lips.
“Alright, here’s her drink!” David poured the drink into the glass, setting it on the counter. “I won’t charge her for this first one, but knowing her she’ll get a couple more.”
Nicole ignored whatever he was talking about and grabbed the glass from the counter, quickly weaving around patrons and tables until she reached Jecka’s booth.
“Your usual,” she said, moving to set the drink down but not before examining it. “The fuck even is this?”
Jecka gasped in delight, immediately snatching the glass and taking a large sip. She shivered slightly as their fingers brushed.
“My champagne cocktail! David always does them right!” Jecka said cheerily, a content smile splitting her lips. Nicole wanted to burn the image into her eyelids.
She then watched for the next half hour as Jecka drank her cocktail, finished it, promptly ordered two more, and finished those too. She was
not
lying when she said she wanted to get fucked up.
(David had watched her from across the pub, and, noticing how Nicole had already sat down at Jecka’s booth, just fondly sighed and called another employee over to cover for her.)
Conversation with Jecka was so
easy
. She should have expected it honestly, they were best friends and clicked on day one. And once Jecka had finished her other two cocktails, she was loose. She talked her ass off about anything and anyone; Jecka even mentioned Megan once, but Nicole quickly shut that down because
fuck
that bitch Megan.
But, as Nicole eventually realized, she was also a really touchy fucking drunk.
Well, she didn’t
realize
it. More like remembered the fact. She had been to parties with Jecka in high-school, she knew how the bitch got on alcohol. It wasn’t much different back then than now.
Just that they were at Nicole’s literal place of work and not Kelly’s trashed-up house.
“You need to sober up,” Nicole huffed as Jecka played with her fingers. At some point Jecka had urged Nicole to sit next to her or she was ‘about to literally fucking die because it’s so cold in here Nicole’. Nicole being the weak bitch that she was decided to humor her.
Worst
fucking decision ever.
“But the whole–
hic
– point of me coming here was to get fucked up. I wanna
stay
fucked up.” Jecka whined.
“Just pop pills like the rest of us then, bitch. Getting drunk is trashy as fuck.”
“Your emo ass should
not
be talking about trashy right now.” Jecka pulled back, looking Nicole up and down with a scowl. It was less like a scowl and more like a pout.
“How the fuck am I emo– ugh, whatever. Fuck you.” Nicole stood up, grabbing Jecka’s arm.
“Where are we going?” Jecka frowned but let Nicole lead her wherever.
“Bathroom.”
They walked into the women’s restroom, Nicole quickly locking the door behind her. “Splash some cold water onto your face.”
“How do you know I don’t have makeup on? I could be wearing a full face for all you know.” Jecka huffed, walking over to the sink anyways.
“I know what you look like when you have makeup on, Jecka.” Nicole said like it was an obvious statement.
Jecka just rolled her eyes and began to splash her face with cold water. “If you wanted me alone in the bathroom, you could’ve just asked.”
Nicole flushed at the random statement. “W-What?” Why the fuck was she stuttering???
Jecka dried her face with paper towels before grinning at her. She was really close all of a sudden, Nicole noticed. She could smell her alcohol breath.
“You could’ve, I don’t know, gotten me a glass of water or something? Why'd you want me here alone?” Jecka’s voice got low and her eyelashes fluttered in that way they did when she was trying to flirt with those frat boys at parties.
Nicole was not a frat boy at a party but it still had the same effect on her it did on them. As in, it made Nicole want to pin Jecka to a wall and kiss her senseless.
What the fuck was she talking about.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Nicole barked, gritting her teeth. “I don’t want you, whore.” Her voice cracked a little at the end, giving away her unconvincing ass lie. Where were her gaslighting skills now??
Jecka just giggled; that was when Nicole realized Jecka had backed her up to the wall, leaving her effectively trapped. “So if I kissed you right now, you’re telling me you wouldn’t kiss me back?” Jecka murmured. Her fingers wrapped around Nicole’s tie, gently tugging her closer.
“Well– I, uhm…” Nicole struggled to find a response; not that Jecka seemed to care about one anyway. Jecka tugged on the tie again, forcing Nicole to crane her neck downwards.
Fuck
.
Jecka pulled her forwards but Nicole pushed their lips together. And it was
everything
Nicole had ever wanted since graduation, and more. So much more.
At some point, Jecka had wrapped her arms around Nicole’s neck, and Nicole’s hands had found their way to Jecka’s waist. She could feel Jecka shiver as they kissed; she knew it wasn’t from the cold because even the bathrooms in this place were heated. It made her feel woozy.
How Nicole ended up on the toilet seat with Jecka on her lap, don’t ask her.
They pulled apart only for the sake of catching their breath before diving in again. Kissing Jecka was addicting– she could taste her smooth berry-flavored lipgloss and the cocktails she had downed earlier.
But… as they kissed, Nicole’s mind wandered. Not to anything dirty, fuck you.
“Jecka–” Nicole pulled away, gasping lightly. Jecka begrudgingly opened her eyes, an impatient look on her face. Nicole fought the urge to just shut up and kiss her again. But now that the thought had crossed her mind, she really needed to ask.
“Why didn’t you talk to me after graduation?”
Jecka stiffened slightly. “What? What are you talking about?”
Nicole frowned at her defensive tone.
“After college, remember? I know you do, don’t try that shit with me. You ghosted me.”
Jecka’s arms removed themselves from her shoulders so quickly you’d think she was burned. Nicole had never felt so cold.
Jecka crossed them instead, eyes staring down at the ground. “Are we seriously doing this right now, Nicole?”
“Yeah. Yeah, we are, actually. Since you’re so fucking defensive about it.” Nicole said, her hands starting to shake with the urge to light a cigarette. Instead, they began to run through her messy hair.
“We were making out, Nicole! Why the fuck are you asking about that??” Jecka scowled. She seemed to have sobered up at least.
“Do I not deserve the right to know why my best friend suddenly ghosted me when she went to college? Or are you gonna ignore that like how you ignored me for seven fucking years?”
Jecka stared at her for a moment before her scowl deepened. Nicole’s heart sank.
“You know what? Fuck you, actually.” She stood up, pulling her dress down from where it rode up. Jecka walked over to the bathroom mirror, beginning to fix her hair, then frowned at the blossoming marks that covered her neck. Nicole at least let out a sour laugh at that.
“Yeah, go ahead and fix yourself up, Jecka, I’m sure whatever guy you plan to go fuck next will appreciate it. Show him the hickeys while you’re at it, it’ll turn him on.” Nicole sneered, wiping the gloss off of her lips with her sleeve.
Jecka pointedly ignored Nicole, heels clacking towards the door. Before she left, she gave her a look and said: “Tell David I’ll pay him some other day. When you’re not on shift.”
And then she was gone.
…What the actual fuck just happened?
Nicole's heart beat rapidly in her chest. Her hands shook. She wanted to puke, so she did. Nicole threw up the meal she had this morning, if you could even call soda crackers and the week-old expired Vienna sausages she found in her fridge a meal.
But she did not cry.
She did not.
–
Jecka stumbled out of the pub, heels clacking on the pavement as she shivered from the cold in her short dress and cropped jacket. Fuck, she should have called a cab earlier.
She would have if she knew what a fucking disaster tonight turned out to be. It was like some fucking switch flipped in Nicole and she just got pissed over nothing.
…No, stop. It wasn’t nothing. She did ghost Nicole.
But– Ugh, fuck. She didn’t want to think about this right now. She could just complain about it on Tuesday when she went over to Karen’s, and it would just be another moment in her life she’d look back on and laugh at or something. It wasn’t that serious.
Flash. Click.
Jecka’s head whipped in the direction of the flash and she stopped walking. She stared like a deer in headlights as some weird paparazzi creep who had been standing near the pub snapped pictures of her.
Keep walking don’t say anything keep walking don’t say anything she repeated in her head as she walked as fast as she could in these fuckass heels. The guy kept following her.
Jecka fought the urge to pull her hair out as she quickly ordered an Uber on her phone.
She was so fucking done.