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The house is dark and silent when Henry steps inside.
At first, it doesn’t strike him as odd. It’s the end of exam season, and Alex has spent almost every waking hour the last couple of weeks at the university library or in his office upstairs. It’s not unusual that Henry is met with the house dark during these times. Alex gets so caught up in his studies that he often forgets the time and lets the entire day slip away, and then, he stumbles through the bedroom door in the early hours of the morning, body slack and tired, crawls into Henry’s open arms and buries his face against his neck.
Henry knows that Alex handed in his last assignment the day before, and at first, he thinks he might be out celebrating with people from the university. For a second, he’s hit with a hurtful sting over the fact that Alex didn’t invite Henry out with him, didn’t even tell him he would be away. But then he notices Alex’s shoes on the shoe rack, and his coat thrown over the small hallway bench, exactly where he left it the night before, and understands that he is home.
”Alex?” he calls out while he shrugs off his coat and continues into the kitchen to put his keys in the little bowl on the bench. Three empty coffee cups stand on the counter, right next to a neglected plate with a half-eaten pizza slice.
Henry quickly takes a glance around the empty living room before taking two steps at a time up the stairs. He calls for Alex again, louder this time, but the silence of the house only starts ringing in his ears instead.
Henry feels a pang in his chest. He remembers Alex’s tired eyes that morning, the faint smile that did not quite feel genuine and the shake of his head when Henry asked if he’d rather wanted him to stay home instead of going to the shelter. His gentle efforts to get Alex to take a well-deserved break today, even suggesting they could stay on the sofa all day and order take-out, were only met by more weary smiles. Eventually, Alex gave Henry a quick kiss before practically shoving him out the door with a promise that he would be fine and Henry would be late if he didn’t leave right at that moment.
At this point in their relationship, Henry knows what signs to look for. He knows that these periods, and the aftermath of them, are tough for Alex, and he knows that they can make him spiral. Alex's deep-rooted need to be good at everything he does sometimes gets to his head and settles in his bones. It sometimes makes him forget to eat food, or drink water, or sleep. It sometimes makes him irritated, or sneery. And sometimes it makes him hollow and empty.
As much as Henry fears these signs, he is also painfully aware of them. Exactly in the same way as he knows Alex is aware of his. And the worst part is that Henry, if he’s being honest with himself, saw it coming this time. Still, he left Alex alone for the day.
He walks into their bedroom and is met by David lifting his head to gaze at him where he lies at the foot of the bed. Alex lies curled up on his side, with a blanket wrapped around him and his back turned to the door, and Henry gives David a pat on the head when he passes him and kneels next to Alex’s side of the bed.
”Alex?” he whispers.
Alex slowly blinks his eyes open and they are red-rimmed, revealing the fact that he has been crying, and he pulls the blanket tighter around his body at the sight of Henry’s worried face hovering over him. It instantly makes Henry’s ribcage threaten to crack open.
”Love,” he soothes, reaching out his hand to gently place it on Alex’s cheek and shuffles closer to the bed. ”Are you okay?”
Alex doesn’t answer his question and the silence tells Henry everything he needs to know. ”You’re home,” he says instead after a while, his voice rough and barely above a whisper.
Henry turns to look around their bedroom. There are books and papers thrown haphazardly over the carpet next to the armchair, a lamp stolen from one of their bedside tables providing the only shining light in the darkness. Two more coffee cups and David’s favorite ball lie next to Alex’s open binder filled with notes and copies of law cases.
He turns back to Alex. ”Were you in here all day? I thought you were finished,” he says, keeping his voice gentle and without judgment.
Alex sighs and quickly closes his eyes again, a painful expression blooming over his face.
”Okay,” Henry nods, understanding. ”Did you eat anything today?”
A weak smile appears on Alex's face, and he shrugs while he meets Henry's eyes which tells him that he, indeed, probably did not eat more than the few bites of the pizza slice Henry found in the kitchen.
”Want me to make you something? I already ate at the shelter but I could-” he says as he slowly gets up from the floor.
”Henry,” Alex interrupts and reaches his hand out from under the blanket to grab Henry’s wrist. Henry sees that he is still dressed in the gray sweatpants and blue hoodie he saw him in this morning. ”It’s fine, I’m not hungry.”
Another pang hits Henry in his chest. ”I know, love. But I still really think you should eat something. I assume all you had today was coffee?”
Before Alex can stop him again, he grabs one of the neglected coffee cups on the floor, hurries into the bathroom to rinse it out and fills it almost to the brim. He brings it back to Alex, gets him to sit up on the bed and places the cup in his hands. ”Drink,” he says and doesn’t leave the bedroom until Alex slowly brings it to his lips.
David follows Henry back down the stairs, and he lets him out in the backyard for him to do his business before he returns to the kitchen, flicks the lights on and starts rummaging through the fridge. A few minutes later he walks back into the bedroom, David in tow, and finds Alex still sitting up on the bed. He winces slightly but quickly tries to hide it when he sees the tray with toast and a cup of tea in Henry’s hands.
Henry sets the tray down on the bed next to Alex, then walks over to the window to crack it open, allowing some fresh air into the bedroom. He walks back across the room towards the bathroom to change into sweats and wash his face. Alex’s eyes follow his every step, and Henry lets it happen, knowing that Alex’s brain is probably going haywire and that the distraction might be welcomed.
Once he’s finished, the window closed again and the curtains drawn, he crawls onto the bed, careful not to spill any of the tea that Alex still hasn’t touched. Henry looks at him. Alex’s entire body looks exhausted, his shoulders slumped and his heavy-lidded eyes closely examining the palms of his own hands in his lap. A sudden wave of sadness wells up in Henry. He is also familiar with the feeling of exhaustion and anxiety that’s written all over Alex’s features right now, and it always pains him when he knows Alex is going through it.
Henry reaches out to take one of Alex's hands in his in an effort to once again create a distraction from whatever is rushing through his head. He gives him a small smile when Alex meets his eyes.
”I’m sorry you feel bad,” Henry says quietly and squeezes Alex’s hand a little tighter. ”Tell me what I can do for you.”
Alex shakes his head, returns his gaze to their now joined hands, and huffs. ”I-” he starts and runs his free hand over his face. ”I’m just- I’m very exhausted.”
Henry places the cup of tea on his nightstand, sets the plate of toast in Alex’s lap, gives him a pointed look that means please, eat and shuffles closer. Alex eyes the toast for a few seconds before finally, to Henry’s relief, taking a bite. ”Want to talk about it?”
Alex shrugs. ”I don’t want to bother you with my stupid exams.”
”You know it doesn’t bother me.”
In these moments, all Henry wants to do is to help in any way he can. All his focus shifts and is suddenly dedicated only to caring for Alex, to bring him food and make sure he sleeps. He wants to drag him into the shower to watch all the rotten feelings get washed away and go down the drain. He wants to listen, to let Alex voice his worries and fears, and then help him carry them.
But Alex doesn’t delve deeper into the topic, and Henry decides that is also fine. Alex will talk about it if he wants to. He watches him finish the toast and replaces the plate with the tea for him to sip on instead.
Alex gives him another tired smile. ”Thank you,” he says and gently puts his head on Henry’s shoulder. ”I hate that you have to take care of me.”
”Hey, no, none of that.” Henry answers although he’s pretty sure he’s uttered the exact same words when he has been on the other end and Alex has been the one to care for him. ”It’s what we do.”
Alex hums and continues to sip his tea while silence settles around them.
* * *
Alex sleeps for most of the next day.
When the tea was finished the night before, Henry steered Alex to the bathroom and convinced him to take a quick shower, and then they stood in front of the mirror and watched each other’s reflections as they brushed their teeth. With the lights off, they crawled back into bed, Alex burrowing himself against Henry’s chest, and eventually he fell asleep to Henry’s quiet voice as he told him about his day at the shelter.
Henry woke up early, still with Alex in his arms and their legs tangled under the covers. He stayed there for a while, allowing the morning to settle around them while focusing on Alex’s steady breaths, tightening his arms around him whenever the image of Alex’s broken expression from the night before flooded his brain. Eventually, he untangled himself from Alex without waking him, wrapped the covers back around him, and quietly started tidying up the scattered mess that was on their floor.
In the evening, he stands in the kitchen and prepares their dinner, low music playing from the living room and David sleeping in his bed on the floor at his feet, when he hears Alex coming down the stairs. He stops in the doorway and Henry turns around and walks slowly up to meet him.
”Hi,” he says, meets Alex’s tired eyes and reaches out to take one of his hands.
Alex gives him a weak smile, and it still doesn’t really reach his eyes, but at least he's up and standing, and that’s all Henry can ask for right now.
”Are you cooking?” Alex’s voice is croaky and rough from sleep, and Henry nods.
He’s not very experienced in the kitchen - years and years of constantly having other people in charge of what he’s eating, luxurious lunches and dinners made by someone else that never seem to end. Alex is much better and more confident when it comes to cooking, but Henry has gotten better, even learning to steer away from recipes and experimenting on his own now and then. Tonight, he’s making a roasted tomato soup which he has managed to perfect over the last couple of months. It quickly became one of Alex’s favorites.
Earlier in the day, Henry brought a small lunch up to the bedroom. Alex was hesitant at first, once again mumbling something about not being hungry, but Henry was insistent and didn’t give up until he had at least swallowed down half the meal and drank an entire glass of water. Afterwards, he gave him a gentle kiss and asked him to lay back down, reassuring him that he could sleep while Henry got some work done. Alex gave him a thankful look and pulled the covers up around him, already back asleep before Henry was out the door.
Now, he wraps Alex up in his arms, lets him sag against his chest and combs his fingers through his curls.
Henry can tell Alex is still tired and overwhelmed, his usually outgoing and happy personality now buried somewhere deep under unpleasant and dark feelings that cloud his brain.
It will pass, they both know this. It always does. What Alex needs is rest, to not do any work for a couple of days. Henry will be there, helping in any way he can, trying his best to steer the nasty thoughts away, and it will be better.
”Want to watch something? Dinner is not done until another hour or so,” Henry says gently.
They end up on the couch, a reality show playing on the TV and Henry apologetically going back and forth into the kitchen to keep an eye on the dinner in the meantime. Alex sits snuggled up in a blanket and cuddles close whenever Henry sits down beside him. It’s quiet and slow, and they don’t talk much, but it’s comfortable. When the soup is ready, Alex asks if they can eat on the couch and Henry decides that it’s okay.
”I’m tired,” Alex says a while later, their bowls empty and another episode finishing up of the show they’ve been watching.
”Let’s go upstairs,” Henry says, leaning forward to plant a small kiss on Alex’s cheek, thankful and proud that Alex voices his needs. ”I’ll be right behind you, just need to clean up in the kitchen first. Take a shower if you want to.”
Henry doesn’t want to baby him, he knows that that’s the last thing that will work on Alex, but they’re both also aware of the fact that Alex will ignore to do mundane things right now if Henry doesn’t remind him. Still, he feels himself wince a little at his own words.
But all Alex does is offer him a smile, and it’s the first genuine one of the day. ”I’ll do that. Thank you for dinner.”
Henry cleans up, loads the dishwasher and fills David’s food and water bowls. He tidies up in the living room and turns all the lights off before walking up the stairs. Alex is still in the shower when he comes into the bedroom, and when Henry turns the corner to the bathroom, he sees the silhouette of Alex through the dimmed glass doors.
Alex seems to hear him arrive, and he opens one door to peek outside.
”Henry,” he says in a small voice, and a pang goes through Henry’s chest when he sees that Alex is crying.
”Oh, love,” Henry says, already stepping out of his pants, stumbling towards Alex while he pulls his shirt over his head.
Once inside the shower, Henry takes Alex into his embrace, and Alex cries against his chest, his quiet sobs not completely swallowed by the stream from the shower.
It hurts, but it’s what Alex needs. Sometimes the best cure is to just let it out.
They stay like that, Henry clutching Alex close and swaying slightly back and forth in an effort to soothe him.
”I’m sorry,” Alex sniffs after a while, and Henry wipes a tear from his cheek. ”It’s not only sad tears. I’m just- I’m a bit overwhelmed.”
”Alex,” Henry answers, ”I know, and it’s alright.”
Alex circles his arms around Henry’s neck, ”I’m very lucky to have you.”
”And I you,” Henry says, his eyes never leaving Alex’s.
* * *
The next day follows similarly.
Alex sleeps. Henry takes the day off from any work related to the shelter and spends it cleaning, cooking, and reading - constantly keeping a careful eye on Alex and his every move. He takes David on a short walk after lunch, and when they return, Alex has moved downstairs and meets them in the living room, at last looking a bit more well-rested.
They watch more TV, and when Henry offers ice cream and a coffee, Alex gratefully accepts. His mood is a bit lighter today, Henry notices, and they let the day go by with cuddles on the sofa and small, gentle conversations about nothing specific at all.
Over dinner, however, Henry sees the small crease between Alex’s eyebrows, a tell-tale sign that usually signifies another storm rummaging through Alex’s exhausted brain. Trying to reach the end of these periods is always very reminiscent of a rollercoaster.
”What are you thinking about?” Henry offers.
Alex pokes his fork around the salad in front of him and shrugs, ”School stuff.”
Henry nods, knowing it’s useless to forbid Alex to go there. As much as Henry loves and supports Alex’s choice in education, he also loathes the way it is the root of the problem, the reason behind it all.
”Is it anything important?” He asks.
Alex huffs and his eyes roam around the kitchen, not wanting to settle on Henry’s face. ”Everything school-related is important.”
Henry hums and puts his fork down. He takes a deep breath, wonders how they will approach the topic this time.
”I know what you’re gonna say,” Alex says before Henry has the chance to even open his mouth, annoyance in his voice. ”You’re gonna tell me I work too hard and that it’s not good for me.”
Henry tries to not escalate the situation, but he can’t lie to Alex. ”Yes. That is what I believe.”
Alex lets out a humorless laugh, shrugs again and drags one hand over his face. ”But the thing is, Henry, that you just don’t get it.”
It’s a stab. They’ve been through this before, too. In Alex’s opinion, Henry doesn’t understand any of this – doesn’t get the pressure and stress that generates from studying. Of course, Henry has his own experiences when it comes to being pressed almost to his limit, sometimes even past it, and Alex knows this. They’ve just realized that it’s not comparable.
Still, Henry can’t avoid the bitter way it makes him feel when Alex points it out.
”That’s not fair,” he says quietly, still trying to keep the conversation civil. ”You know I go through similar things as you do right now. I’m just worried about you, Alex. It’s not good to continue to feel this way, not in the long run.”
Alex closes his eyes, and Henry can tell his leg bounces under the table, his anxiety making itself more and more visible. Minutes pass in silence.
”I know you do. Which is why I don’t get how you cannot understand this,” Alex says, finally.
It frustrates Henry even more. ”I- I didn’t choose to be in the situation I’m in. I can’t get away from it-”
”Oh!” Alex suddenly exclaims, ”So just because I chose to do this, it’s all of a sudden-”
”No,” Henry cuts him off, and his voice is louder than he intends it to be. ”That’s not what I mean. Don’t put words in my mouth.”
Alex lets out a frustrated sound, and his eyes fill up with tears as he gets up from the table to stand in front of the kitchen window, his back against Henry.
The truth is that Henry will never be able to accept the way Alex sometimes lets the stress completely consume him, especially in moments like this, when exam season is over and everything is already done. It doesn’t make any sense to him, no matter how unfair it is of him to think so. It’s been the core reason for their fights about this – Henry, rather gracelessly, time and time again trying to get answers from Alex on why this happens, and Alex shouting back that he just doesn’t understand.
Henry gets up, walks over to Alex and turns him around so that they’re face to face. ”My love,” he says, gentler now, ”I know we won’t agree on this. But it’s breaking me into pieces whenever it gets like this.”
Alex sniffs, his cheeks wet from crying.
”All I want to know right now is”, Henry continues, ”is whatever you’re thinking about so important that it’s worth paying attention to now? Even when it makes you feel like this?”
They let the question hang between them. In the end, it’s a painful reminder for Alex, and Henry is aware that it’s a constant battle for him as well, to push through or to let go of the need to constantly deliver. To constantly be on top of everything.
Henry wraps his arms around him, and Alex lets out a shaky breath against his shoulder.
”I just want to be good,” he whispers.
”You are good,” Henry answers, trying to keep his voice steady.
”Not always.”
”No one is.”
It’s so simple and so difficult at the same time.
Henry feels Alex give a small nod against him. ”It’s very hard to accept.”
It’s heartbreaking to Henry. He wouldn’t be able to express what it does to him to see Alex like this. There are no words to explain how it makes him feel, knowing that no matter how hard he tries, no matter how many times he reassures Alex that every exam and assignment is good and that he exceeds every limit of what is excellent, it won’t change the way Alex functions. It’s too deeply wired within him, and it’s something only Alex himself has to work on.
”It is,” Henry answers, ”and I know you’re trying your very best. You’ve done your best. There is nothing else anyone can ask of you.”
After a bit of coaxing, Alex follows Henry back to the table to finish their dinner. They eat in silence for a while, but Henry has the nagging feeling of not letting Alex get lost in his thoughts again.
”I love you,” he says and reaches forward to grab Alex’s hand. ”I care so much about you. And you will get through this. For now, will you do me a favor and let that beautiful brain of yours rest?”
Alex tries to hide it, but Henry can see a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. After a few beats, he nods and squeezes Henry’s hand back, ”I’ll try.”
* * *
They both sleep in the next morning. Alex still needs all the sleep his riled-up brain will give him, and Henry finds comfort in knowing he can keep him under the safety of the covers as long as they both stay in bed.
When the sun seeks its way through the curtains and paints the bedroom in a golden light around 10 am, Henry slowly opens his eyes and lets out a small yawn. Alex is turned with his back to Henry’s front, his body warm and solid, pressed so close they possibly couldn’t get any closer. Henry puts his face in the dark curls and breathes in, and can’t help but send a silent prayer to the universe that today is a better day for Alex.
More time passes. Henry falls back asleep for a while, lulled by Alex’s steady breathing and the warmth of the bed.
He is once again awoken when Alex turns in his arms.
”Hi,” Alex mumbles.
”Hi, love,” Henry answers, eyes still closed but with a smile playing on his lips because Alex’s voice sounds light.
”We slept away the morning,” Alex says.
Henry finally meets his eyes. ”That’s okay,” he whispers. ”There’s nothing else I would rather be doing right now anyway.”
Alex hums as he shuffles even closer and presses his face against Henry’s neck. He kisses the skin there and it sends a shiver down Henry’s entire body.
”How are you feeling?” Henry asks and tries his best to ignore the fact that Alex’s thigh has found its way between Henry’s legs.
”Better,” Alex murmurs against Henry’s neck and drags his hands over his back.
”Alex,” Henry says and leans slightly away from him so he can look him in the eyes. ”How are you feeling, really?”
Alex meets his gaze and smiles, expression open and happy, and a warm feeling spreads through Henry’s chest. ”I’m alright, Henry. Tired but I- I’m feeling a lot better.”
The warmness in Henry’s body suddenly threatens to take over and he has to briefly close his eyes again purely because of the sheer relief of Alex feeling better. Alex notices, as he always does, and gently places his hand against Henry’s cheek.
”I’m-” Henry swallows around the sudden lump in his throat. ”That’s good.”
”Are you getting sappy because I said I’m alright?” Alex lets out a small chuckle.
Henry sniffs but smiles back. ”I guess I am,” he says, and then quieter: ”It’s hard seeing you struggle.”
Alex nods. ”I know, I’m sorry-”
”No,” Henry interrupts, shaking his head and tightening his arms around Alex’s body. ”No apologizing. It’s not your fault.”
Instead of answering, Alex lurches forward and finally brings their lips together.
Henry quickly gets lost in it all - the feeling of Alex’s lips on his, their bodies pressed tight, Alex’s thigh between his legs, the way they start to rock against each other slowly. It doesn’t take long before they’re both hard and their breaths are stuttering. Alex lets out a low moan and breaks away from their kiss to hide his face against Henry’s throat again.
”Alex, are you-” Henry whispers. ”We don’t have to if you don’t feel like it.”
”I want to-” Alex murmurs, ”I need-”
Henry understands. He leans forward and lets Alex fall back against the bed, positions himself almost on top of him and starts kissing the warm, soft skin under Alex’s ear. His hand travels over Alex’s opposite shoulder, down his side and finally reaches his thigh, where he sneaks one finger under the fabric of Alex’s briefs.
”Baby,” Alex whispers, his eyes closed and a blissful expression blooming on his face, so different to the anxiety-ridden features that have been present during the last couple of days.
”What do you need, love?” Henry asks, his lips ghosting over Alex’s jaw.
Alex grabs Henry’s face to bring their lips back together, his tongue licking its way into Henry’s mouth. Henry moans, his hand gripping Alex’s hip, his own hips stuttering forward.
”Alex,” Henry tries again.
”Touch me,” Alex breathes against his lips, their eyes locking briefly before he closes them again.
And who is Henry to deny him? His entire being exists to let Alex have whatever he wants, his body aches to touch and taste and give him everything. It’s always been that way, ever since the first time their lips met - Hell, even ever since Henry first laid his eyes on him when they were young.
Emotions swivel around in Henry’s chest once again, now when Alex is easy and beautiful and happy in his arms, asking him to touch him, to give him what he needs.
Alex opens his eyes again and looks at Henry, his brows furrowing in a questioning look.
”What?” He asks, a smile playing on his lips.
Henry swallows. ”I love you.”
Alex brings his arms around Henry’s neck, pulling him forward to meet him in another kiss. It’s gentler now, the moment caught up in a swirl of love and feelings and warmth.
”I love you, too,” he whispers. ”So much I feel like I might combust.”
Henry lets out a small laugh, blinking away tears. He feels Alex card his fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck while he moves forward and drags his lips over Alex’s naked chest, traveling from collarbone to collarbone. Henry moves his hand between them, doesn’t stop until he’s right where Alex wants him most, and he smiles when Alex lets out another low moan.
There’s no rush. They help each other out of their underwear until they’re both naked and once again flushed against each other, pressed so close they are sharing each other’s breaths. Henry isn’t sure who’s moaning - him, Alex, or both of them - when he wraps his hand around both of their cocks, but he doesn’t care. He starts pumping slowly, dragging quiet whimpers from Alex’s lips. He wants to be closer still, crawl under Alex’s skin and stay there forever. He never tires of the way Alex feels against him, how his back arches and his eyes close, pleasure written over his face, skin breaking out in goosebumps all over.
”Baby,” Alex gets out, his hands clawing over Henry’s back. ”Please -”
Henry hums, his hand speeding up, now only gripping Alex, and leans forward to latch his lips against Alex’s pulse point. He feels the blood beneath the skin rushing under his mouth, revealing how close Alex is already, his brain thankfully giving him access to pleasure despite the dark cloud occupying it.
”You are so good,” Henry bites against Alex’s neck, ”so good.”
Alex whimpers, louder moans filling the bedroom now, and they are both suddenly getting too warm so Henry flings the cover off them, welcoming the chilly air.
He gets up on his elbow, one hand still working over Alex’s cock, the other pressed gently against his cheek, his thumb tracing the bottom lip of Alex’s open mouth.
”You’re so beautiful, Alex,” he says, unable to keep his voice steady, ”I can’t believe I’m the only one who gets to see you like this.”
Alex squeezes his eyes shut, his lip now caught between his teeth.
”I’m so lucky,” Henry continues and kisses Alex’s closed eyelids, moves his hand faster and flicks his wrist just the way he knows will drive Alex mad.
It doesn’t take long after that - Alex lets out a warning that he’s going to come, and Henry encourages him to let go, whispering once again how good he is. Alex arches his back and comes between them in long ropes, almost hitting himself on the chin when he pushes his head up and back against the pillow, and if Henry had the words to describe the vision, he doesn’t think he would ever be able to stop reciting it.
He works Alex through his orgasm, kisses his slack mouth and doesn’t take his hand off Alex’s cock until Alex himself puts his hand over Henry’s when he shudders with oversensitivity. They look at each other, Alex’s eyes tear-filled again, but his face is relaxed and open, no trace of anxiety visible. Henry feels himself still hard, unable to stop himself from moving against Alex’s hip. He kisses his shoulder as Alex presses a hand against his lower back, encouraging him to speed up his movements.
”Henry, baby,” he says. ”There you go, I want you to come. Come on me.”
Henry hisses, his teeth grazing over Alex’s skin, and he barely manages to get a hand around himself before his orgasm hits him, making him paint Alex’s hip and thigh and stomach. He lets out a small chuckle as it happens, then falls down, his muscles suddenly too tired to keep himself up any longer.
Silence settles around them as their breathing evens out. Henry almost gets lost in the way Alex’s fingers draw comforting circles over his spine, but he quickly remembers the mess they’ve made all over themselves. Despite Alex’s complaining noises, Henry gets up to quickly run into the bathroom and grab a towel. He crawls up the bed and sits on his knees next to Alex and cleans them both off before he throws the towel somewhere on the floor and lays back down on his stomach, his face turned towards Alex’s and his hand gently placed over his sternum. He feels Alex's heart beating underneath.
”Can we stay here all day?” Alex asks after a while.
Henry hums, closes his eyes. ”Sounds like a plan,” he says as Alex pulls the cover back over them.
* * *
Henry wakes for the third time that morning by Alex’s kisses against his shoulder and his hand roaming over his naked ass. He’s still on his stomach, his face turned to the other side now, and he hums appreciatively and feels himself press closer to Alex’s touch.
He turns his head and locks eyes with Alex, meets his hungry gaze and a grin plastered on his face.
”You know all that talk about me being good,” Alex says in a teasing tone, rolls his eyes and waves his hand nonchalantly, ”know what else I’m good at?”
Henry lets out a laugh, ”Whatever could that be?”
Alex gets close, licks Henry’s lips once and whispers: ”Fucking you into the mattress until all you can think of is my name.”
Henry’s breath hitches and arousal floods his entire body, mixed with gratefulness for this Alex being present for him once again - the Alex he fell in love with, with his smart remarks and quick mouth. He is very aware of the other sides of Alex as well, and he loves them all of course, but can’t help to think this one is his absolute favorite.
”Hm,” he says, ”you are pretty good at that.”
”Want me to show you?”
Henry knows they might not be completely on the other side yet, knows Alex might have another breakdown later or spend the next day unable to get out of bed again. He knows they might need to have more conversations on how to deal with the stress and the pressure. But for now, this is enough. For now, he lets himself get immersed in the knowledge that no matter how hard it might become and how many times they will find themselves in similar periods, there’s not a single thing any of them would ever want to be different. For now, he will let himself and Alex just be.
He leans forward and whispers a simple yes against Alex's lips.