Work Text:
The first time Grian returned to the room he'd carved out for Xavier, he worried that the voidwalker had not returned since they'd last spoken. It had only been a couple of weeks, but it was still enough to make him briefly anxious. He hesitated to Look. He still wasn't at ease about Watching his friends. But there was something different about Watching over Xisuma, wasn't there? Xavier had prayed to Xelqua, so shouldn't that include him as well?
Knowing there was no other way to ease his concerns, Grian sent out a few of his Eyes in search of the banned Player. (He wondered then if that was why he'd been so hesitant; it was much harder to find a Player the way he was supposed to instead of the way he usually did it with coordinate tracking.) His Eyes traveled far and wide before finding the voidwalker. Xavier was walking carefully through a crimson forest, wearing gold armbands while still equipped with the diamond armor Grian had given him. Grian breathed a sigh of relief as he saw Xavier warding off hoglins with warped fungi, fairly safe from any of the Nether's typical dangers.
His worries eased, Grian stopped Watching and returned his focus to the room around him. Now that he was paying closer attention, he could see the small signs of Xavier's presence. The ender chest clicked when Grian leaned on it, evidently not fully closed, which meant Xavier must've used it. Peeking in the shulker box next to it also showed that Xavier had at least taken some of the first aid supplies with him, even if he'd left the shulker box behind.
Content that Xavier had been checking in as he'd asked, Grian left a chest in the corner of the room beside the shulker box and ender chest. He filled it with a variety of stones and colors of wool — something for function and something for comfort. He forced down the pity trying to grow in his gut. Xavier was doing better.
The second time Grian traveled to Xavier's room, he was delighted to find that the voidwalker had started to make the space his own. The right wall had been replaced with quartz and was decorated with a few small crafted paintings. The ender chest had been moved to the center of that wall, and it had a large chest to its right and a furnace and crafting table to its left. The back left corner where the chests had previously been now contained what Grian could only describe as a nest of wool, carpets, and blankets. The best one could do when beds weren't an option. How had he been sleeping before?
With the thought that his contributions had actually been helpful, Grian found himself smiling as he added what he'd brought to the last untouched corner of the room. He replaced a couple blocks of the floor with grass and planted sweet berries on them. Livestock was noisy, and thus a safety hazard, and every other crop Grian thought of that could be made into food required water, but he could at least give Xavier this.
Scanning the room again with a look of content, Grian noticed something he hadn't seen before. Sitting on top of the ender chest were a few netherite ingots, despite there being no smithing table to put them to use. Of course, Grian realized a moment later, iron was a key ingredient in making a smithing table. He could handle that.
Grian moved the netherite aside to access the ender chest and retrieved some of his iron. He used two ingots to make the smithing table and left the excess on top of the furnace. He then put the new workbench on top of the crafting table to make sure Xavier saw it. They were small things to give, but it was progress.
Grian hadn't come prepared with gifts the next time he went to visit. Still, he found himself needing to check in. He couldn't speak for Xavier, but he knew he didn't do well with solitude, and he couldn't imagine the kind of loneliness that Xavier had to bear. Even if they never met face to face, Grian wanted Xav to know that he was there if he needed him.
To his surprise, a chest was waiting for him when he entered the room. It was sitting near the wall he always entered through and had a sign on top that read, "A gift for everything you've given me - Xav." This was left for him? He curiously peeked in the chest, and his jaw dropped. Sitting in the middle of the chest was a book enchanted with Soul Speed, and surrounding it were eight netherite ingots. Grian couldn't imagine how much time it must've taken to gather, especially without explosives. But it wasn't like Xavier had much better things to do, he supposed.
Grian happily collected the goodies from the chest before picking up the sign. It was the ultimate snail mail, but he supposed it could work in lieu of any other options. He erased what Xavier had written to ask instead, "What do you need?"
For a while after he'd left the message, Grian kept an Eye on Xavier instead of visiting in person. Despite having told no one about Xavier's presence, he couldn't help but be cautious. The Nether (at least when not tamed into protected hallways of portals) was dangerous to even the most skilled of Players, and Grian wanted to keep Xavier safe.
Besides, the voidwalker had started praying to Xelqua more often. It was nothing formal like what Xisuma routinely did, just small praises and words of thanks when things went particularly well or quick requests for luck and safety when things went south. He couldn't safely build any altars without increasing his risk of being found, but it was still more... worship? reverence? than Grian expected given what he knew of Xavier's prior conception of Xelqua.
Then, of course, it came as no surprise for Grian that his Eyes were eager to look around when he finally went to check Xavier's room in person. He was, however, going to ignore the whisper in the back of his mind that yearned to Look. Or, rather, that was what he had planned on doing until he heard noises coming from where he knew the room to be.
Had someone found the room? Had someone found Xavier? A flurry of Eyes shot open and scanned ahead. A hole was dug in the wall across from where Grian planned on entering. The Eyes looked past the partially filled gap to view the other side, and Grian breathed a sigh of relief. There was neither an intruding Hermit nor a mob. Grian had just managed to arrive at the same time as Xavier.
"Xav?" he prompted gently as he slowly entered the room, hoping to alleviate the fear radiating off the other.
"Grian?" the voidwalker questioned cautiously.
"Yeah," Grian reassured. "Just me. Sorry if I scared you."
"It's fine," Xavier murmured as he entered the room. "What brings you around?"
"I was going to see if you'd answered my message." He'd noticed that the sign had been taken down, but Xavier had yet to leave him a response.
"Ah." Xavier glanced over at his chests and shrugged. "When I can't really do anything with most of the resources... I guess some more obsidian to make a couple extra ender chests would be nice. Or some XP bottles? Trying to mend tools is a pain."
Grian nodded easily. "I can do that." With the thought of mending in mind, he looked over Xavier's armor. It was all still in decent condition, but he couldn't help asking, "How've you been doing?"
Xavier locked up slightly, as though the question had been a physical attack. Then, after a longer than normal gap (or normal with anyone else — social cues seemed generally beyond Xavier), he spoke up, "Fine. I'm fine. You've been a great help. Now shoo."
Not wanting to strain the voidwalker's almost nonexistent social battery any more than he had, Grian took the blatant cue and left.
Once he actually had a request to fulfill, Grian was quick to return to Xavier. He, like Xavier himself, had been struggling to think of things he could give and ways he could help, but now that he'd been given ideas, he felt a little silly. The whole point of an ender chest was to have multiple of them! As an apology of sorts for what he considered an oversight on his part, he also brought some sweets: a batch of cookies and a stack of golden carrots.
To both his surprise and delight, Xavier was in the room when he arrived. The voidwalker was startled just like the last time, but he remained sitting in his nest of wool instead of bolting out of the room. Grian raised his hands in a surrendering motion as he blocked the entrance behind himself, and Xavier's posture slowly relaxed.
"I really need to come up with a knock or something so you don't have to worry every time," Grian said half-jokingly.
"Something to consider," Xavier said as he leaned back against the wall. He sounded tired. (No, more than that. Even "exhausted" felt like an understatement.) Grian couldn't help but frown.
"I didn't interrupt your nap, did I?" he asked. He hoped all of his worry could be conveyed in the one question since Xavier didn't seem to like too much concern.
Xavier responded with a dry huff of a laugh. “No. Interrupting my sleep would require me to be able to fall asleep in the first place."
"Would you rather I leave you to your rest, or do you want me to stay for a bit?" Grian asked as he put the things he'd brought into a chest. "I can try to help, but I can't promise it'll be effective."
"You might as well stay. I'm clearly not having any luck on my own." Xavier laid back down in his makeshift bed, and Grian moved to sit beside him. "It doesn't make sense," Xav continued, grumbling. "It's got pillows and blankets; it's made of wool; it should be as comfortable as a bed. Or at least comfortable enough."
He sighed, pulling the blanket up over his shoulders. Grian just sat in silence, trying to think of how he could help. What did he do when he had insomnia? He cycled through options that wouldn't work — making a cup of tea, getting some fresh air, doodling build ideas — and got so lost in his thoughts that he almost missed when Xavier spoke again in a whisper.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you the other day."
Grian, off the top of his head, couldn't think of whatever Xavier was talking about. Sure, he was generally standoffish, but Grian figured that was just how he was. He'd be distant and impersonal, too, if everyone always called him evil. But whatever it was, Xavier clearly felt bad, and Grian didn't want to dismiss the apology.
"It's alright," he reassured softly. "No harm done."
Xavier gave him a brief hum in response then asked quietly, "Tell me about what's been going on in the Overworld?"
Oh, where to start? "Well, I may have accidentally started a war," he laughed. Doing his best to keep his tone relatively gentle and level, Grian laid out the background of the shopping district and the mayoral race. He talked about how Scar had been making changes, some good and some bad, with his new power. He talked about how much better the grass looked than the mycelium (something he couldn't admit to anyone else out of principle), but that he placed back some mycelium anyway as a joke, and that the joke was now spiraling. He retold the tale of how he'd gathered the Mycelium Resistance and how they had to flee their base out of fear of being discovered. He was partway through describing his design ideas for the new headquarters when he'd glanced over and realized Xavier had fallen asleep. Deciding that the aforementioned Resistance could wait a little longer, Grian grabbed one of his notebooks from the room's ender chest and continued working on his sketches of the HQ at Xavier's side.
Neither of them mentioned how he had stayed once Xavier woke. They only shared a few moments of quiet that straddled the line between awkward and companionable before they both gave their farewells.
After having found a way he could help beyond material needs, Grian intentionally planned his visits around when he Saw that Xavier was also there. (And he was glad he had an excuse to keep this to himself, for there was a high likelihood he'd be scolded for letting Xelqua's actions and Grian's actions overlap so much.) Oftentimes he and Xav were just two ships passing in the night, sharing a smile and a greeting before parting ways, but sometimes Grian would loiter and take the rest of his day to make sure Xavier got some sleep. There was, however, one standout event that Grian would later consider the beginning of him and Xavier truly being friends.
He found Xavier curled up in his not-quite bed and quietly went to sit beside him. "Hey," the voidwalker murmured. "Not quite trying to fall asleep I don't think. Just a little worn out and wanted to be comfortable."
"Makes sense," Grian said absently, resting his head back against the wall. "The Nether can be a lot."
"Better than the End."
Grian looked down at Xavier, a wave of confusion flowing through him. Weren't voidwalkers native to the End? Or, at the very least, it was the most habitable dimension for them? Xavier sat up and leaned against the other wall so he was sitting perpendicular to Grian, and he wrapped his arms around his still blanket-covered legs.
"It's just... The Nether is new. Or new to me, at least. I'd only been here once before joining the Hermits, and I didn't have my helmet then, so I could hardly look around before I had to leave. But the End? I remember back in season four when elytra were new and everyone ran to get them. The floating cities were like a punch in the face. Something that had once been real and full of history now just another Server-generated structure infested with mobs. I've generally avoided it since."
"Bittersweet nostalgia," Grian sympathized. Caution weighed him down and choked his words. He tread carefully with his next sentence, "So you were already familiar with what we thought was new..?"
"Mm. 'Suma and I used to race up the chorus plants when we were kids." Xavier laughed wistfully. "They definitely weren't meant for climbing. It's a miracle we never hurt ourselves too badly." He leaned his head back, then tilted it slightly in Grian's direction. "I'm just not ready to let it go, you know? Even if I know I don't have a chance at being a part of the new family Xisuma's built."
"I don't think he's replacing you," Grian said, startling them both with the sudden input. "I mean," he began again, now thinking through his words, "people can have multiple groups of people they call family. New friends don't necessarily replace old ones."
"Did you have lots of friends before becoming a Hermit?" Xavier asked.
Grian thought back to Evo. For as hesitant as he was to talk about it, he didn't mind praising some of his friends. "Not lots, but a few," he answered. "And I miss them a lot, even surrounded by the Hermits. Sure, they might have their similarities — I'd drag Pearl into prank wars against Jimmy just as I do now with Scar and Mumbo — but they're still different people that hold unique places in my life. And, someday, when they're gone, it'll leave a hole; a hole that will scar no matter how well it heals."
Grian let Xavier consider what he'd said while he thought back to his time between Evo and Hermitcraft. The Watchers had held him in near isolation for a long time. It wasn't cruel, merely a stark preparation for what being a Watcher would be like. It would be a solitary existence. (And Grian was hesitant to admit, even to himself, that he dreaded the day he would outlive all his friends or spend decades in a time before they even existed.) It wasn't the greatest, but he... He managed.
"It's okay to admit you're lonely."
Grian hadn't realized he'd spoken until he saw Xavier turn his head away. He wished for a moment that he could take the words back until he got a muttered response of, "Yeah... Yeah." Xavier was quiet for a moment, but then he abruptly turned back toward Grian and extended one of his legs to nudge him, albeit slightly hindered by his blanket. "But hey, at least I have you, right?" There was a sort of pained hope in his voice that hurt Grian's heart, like Xavier expected to be rejected.
"Yeah," he said with a light laugh, nudging Xavier back. "You've got me. Whenever you need me as long as you want me, Xav. Promise."