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College break can be a peaceful time–an opportunity to let minds relax and rest from the constant strain of exams, papers, and presentations. It also is a nice time to no longer feel homesick. This was a common issue for Heather, but she expected as much. After all, she had been with her parents ever since they adopted her when she was three. For sixteen years, she was their baby girl–their shadow really. For her to apply to a university so far from home was stressful for them and her. The first year, they handled it well…or maybe they just hid their anxiety well. Either way, Heather came home and fell back into the normal routine of life with them like it was simpler than taking another breath. Winter break for her sophomore year should have been the same.
Heather did not have to wait at the airport. As soon as the plane landed and she went down the ramp, she saw red hair and a big grin coming her way. Dagur excitedly waved to her and trapped her in a bear hug. The brunette laughed and hugged him back.
“You’re not supposed to be up here,” she reminded him.
Dagur put a finger to his lips. “You really think that I’m not stealthy enough to sneak by TSA if I want to see my little sis?”
“You could’ve just waited at the baggage claim.”
The young man lifted up a suitcase Heather recognized as her own. “I could have, but then I wouldn’t have gotten to play the guessing game ‘which bag’s Heather's?’” Dagur started to cackle. “I almost stole this one lady’s luggage by accident. Good thing I spotted your silver dragon sticker in time. That really would’ve made going unnoticed trickier for sure.”
Heather chuckled at him and started walking out of the airport.
“So,” he sang, “how was the trip?”
“It was nice. Long, but nice.”
Heather looked for a car and saw nothing. She lifted an eyebrow at her brother.
“Um, where did you park?”
“The fuzz kept giving me weird looks when I tried to park up by the entrance, so I figured that I’d just hide it back where I saw some of the flight attendants parking.”
“That might have added to their suspicion a little.”
“Maybe, but they didn’t stop me,” the young man said proudly.
They found the vehicle and he loaded it up with Heather’s luggage. She got in the front seat and was greeted by a gray Saluki who licked her cheek. The girl smiled brightly and patted the dog.
“Aw, you brought Windshear!”
“Of course. She really has been looking forward to you getting back here, so I figured why not just bring her. Strykie’s been keeping her company, but it’s not the same as you being back.”
The dog sat with her head between the seats so that Heather could have easy access to pet her. Dagur grinned at the two of them as he drove.
“Did finals go well?” he asked. “I didn’t want to blow up your phone with a bunch of texts if you were in the middle of one. You also weren’t really texting back a lot the week before.”
“I know. Sorry. Mom and Dad have just been calling me a lot these past few months.”
Dagur side-eyed her. “They miss you. I do too.”
“I know and I miss you guys, but it’s a bit much from them sometimes. They kept trying to see if I could come back for spring break.”
“You totally should!”
“No, I’m hanging out with the rest of the gang. We’re going to the St. Lucia for a few days.”
The redhead nodded. “And after those few days, you can come visit.”
“Dagur,” Heather said, sighing.
“What? Don’t you like that they want to hang out with you?”
“Of course, I do, but they sheltered me from so much for so long. I want to just get out and see what the rest of the world’s like now.”
Dagur got quiet and his sister turned to him. She stopped petting Windshear to cross her arms.
“Okay, you clearly disagree with me. I can see it in your frown. What’s the matter with what I said?”
“Nothing,” Dagur assured her. “I want you to get out and see the world too. It’s just…” The driver paused, frowning a bit. “What you three have is nice. Not everyone gets that.”
Heather felt sheepish as she considered this. She had a lot to be grateful for in her life. After being put in an orphanage, she had nearly immediately found a loving family. It all happened so quickly that the college student did not even remember the time in between. Heather knew that not everyone was so fortunate. Dagur was one of them. He had aged out of the orphanage and tried to make a life for himself. Sometimes, Heather felt weird talking to him about college since her parents were able to afford sending her to a respectable institution and she was sure he would have done well had he been given the opportunity. Regardless, he let her know that it was his decision to choose work instead and she had to admit that he seemed to enjoy his racecar driver life. Despite all of this, Heather still was not looking forward to seeing her parents as much as she did the previous year.
When they reached the home, Dagur stopped the car on a dime and went to get Heather’s bag while she walked up to the door. She did not even need to ring the doorbell. Her parents had been watching from the window and excitedly ran out of the house to hug her. Windshear joined in, jumping up so that it was a group hug.
“We were so worried about you!” her mother exclaimed.
“You promised you’d call to let us know you landed safely!”
“Good thing your brother knew you wouldn’t and sent us a message.”
Heather looked at Dagur who shrugged.
“Told ya, you weren’t on your phone a lot. It was either that or have them call the state police to find you.”
The redhead started to get back in his car.
“You’re leaving already?” Heather asked.
“We asked if he wouldn’t mind us just having you for the first couple days,” the mother said.
Dagur gave them a thumbs up, then winked. “Works out because Mala finally won't be working the night shift tomorrow, so it’s probably better if you’re not there.”
He wiggled his eyebrows and Heather put a hand over her face in embarrassment.
“Tell her hi for me, please.”
“Can do! Love you!”
Heather waved as the young man sped out of the driveway, blatantly ignoring the residential speed limit. Heather’s father got her bag and eagerly took it to her room.
“Ebba made your favorite snickerdoodles.”
“Yes! And Bo already set a reservation for that new Italian restaurant you said you wanted to try.”
“Thanks, but you didn’t have to do all that.”
“We know, but we wanted to,” Bo told her sincerely as Ebba rushed to the kitchen to get the cookies.
“We just missed you so much, sweetie,” the mother told her. “We wanted everything to be perfect for you to be back home.”
Heather gave her a small smile and tried one of the offered cookies.
“This is really good, Mom.”
Ebba beamed with pride. “It’s a new recipe. I’ve been waiting all year to try it out just for you.”
“Could have had it this summer if you came back home,” Bo mentioned. “But I guess there’s no time to get into all that. Go on and get ready. It’s almost time to go to dinner.”
Heather nodded and went to her room. She sighed when she got there. It already felt a little suffocating. Was it always that way or was it just her? Heather changed clothes and went downstairs, seeing that her parents were ready and getting the car. She sat in the front with her father.
“How have classes been?”
“They’ve been stressful, but they're nothing I can’t handle.”
“I wouldn’t doubt it for a second.”
The girl paused. “I’ll admit that Statistics has been a little tricky.”
“You should have called, Heather,” Ebba added. “I would’ve helped you. I was great at Statistics in college.”
“I know. I just wanted to do it on my own.”
The woman’s expression turned slightly sad, but she nodded. “Okay, but if you struggle when you go back, please don’t hesitate to reach out.”
Heather just nodded her head, not wanting to explicitly lie by giving a verbal confirmation. Bo could sense the unhappiness coming from the mother and turned on the car radio.
“We’ve been putting on this station lately because it has some of your favorite artists on it.” Bo chuckled in remembrance. “I remember when you used to sing along to this song when you thought your mother and I were still at work.”
“It’s been so long since you’ve sung something for us,” Ebba commented. “Do you think you could after dinner?”
Heather felt tired from the flight and wanted to decline, but she did not. “Yeah, I could do that.”
Happily, the parents grinned and kept asking her about her year. It was like Heather was being saved from an interrogation once they got to the restaurant. The meal was delicious, but there were only more questions until it was time for the bill. Heather took the check, surprising her parents.
“What are you doing?”
“I was going to pay for it.”
“Why? Your father and I brought you here. We didn’t do it with the intention of having you pay.”
“I know, but I don’t mind. I got a part-time job at a coffee shop on campus.”
“Oh, you never mentioned that.”
“It’s nothing that interesting.”
“It’s interesting to us if you’re doing it,” Bo mumbled.
Heather sighed. “I won’t pay if you don’t want me to. I’d feel bad if I didn’t at least offer.”
This made the father brighten. “Okay, well you offered, so no need to feel bad. I’ll just take that. Can’t have you growing up on us too quickly.”
Heather felt a twinge of annoyance plucking her side. She pushed this down and just thanked the two for the meal. With this new information of her having employment, the question list extended on the way back home.
“Do you make the coffee?” Ebba asked.
“Yes.”
“Knew it. You’ve always been so good at making delicious drinks and meals. Must have gotten that from me,” Bo bragged. “All in nurture!”
Ebba shook her head at him. “Well, I know you didn’t get it from me. You’d have burned down the entire shop by now if you had.” She smiled happily. “Aw, our baby is a working woman now!”
“Mom, I’m not a baby and this really isn’t a big deal. After I get my degree, I’ll be able to work more.”
“You’re still doing something now. We’re proud of you.”
“You’d probably be proud of me even if I decided to be a professional free sample taster.”
“You’d be the best professional free sample taster,” Bo told her, grinning.
Heather let out a heavy sigh, surprising the couple.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
The parents did not believe her, but they did not push the topic. When they got home, Bo hurried off to grab something. Heather was not sure what he was doing until he returned with a guitar and led her to the family room sofa.
“Any song you want, dear,” he said. “We just miss hearing your voice.”
Bo and Ebba interlocked hands as they sat across from their daughter. Heather looked down at the guitar she had owned since she was twelve. No dust had collected on the wood and after checking, she knew the strings were tuned. The brunette began playing one of the songs she used to sing. Ebba happily wiped away a tear from her cheek and rested her head on her husband’s shoulder.
“That was beautiful, Heather,” she said when the song was over. Her eyes twinkled. “I signed you up for a master class this week. I know it’s last minute, but I also was trying to let you know a few weeks ago and you never called back.”
Heather frowned. “I don’t really have this time off. I was going to use it to see if I could get some volunteering hours in at the vet.”
“You can, then you can go to the class.”
Bo scratched his head sheepishly. “Besides, I also told a few friends that you could perform at this restaurant that brings in live music.”
“Dad! Why would you do that? I haven’t performed in years.”
“I know, but you sound so nice still! I thought it would get your name out there.”
“My name doesn’t need to be out there. I’m not going to be a singer. I’m going to be a vet.”
“And we know that. You’ll be great at it, but you used to love the idea of being a singer so much as a little girl.”
“Yes, as a little girl,” Heather said, exasperated. “I’m not one anymore.”
“You’ll always be our little girl,” Ebba said quietly. She started to frown. “We probably wouldn’t seem so overbearing if you visited more. You had three long months off and hardly called us.”
“I was busy, Mom. It wasn’t personal.”
“It feels personal when we see a bunch of pictures online of you and the others at different places,” Bo admitted. “We love that you have friends, but we miss seeing you. You’ll come by for spring break, right?”
Heather got quiet and the parents looked hurt.
“Not then either?”
“I was going to hang out with the gang.”
“Again? You see them all the time at school,” Bo complained. “Can’t we get you during the breaks?”
“I’m here now.”
“Yes, and you’re complaining about us being clingy,” Ebba countered.
“I don’t think you’re…that clingy.”
“Oh, there’s a ‘that’ now. How nice,” Bo commented. “You used to spend all your time with us.”
“Because I was a kid. Most kids go everywhere with their parents.”
“Not necessarily. I hardly did with mine,” Ebba admitted. “We’d always hang out with our friends. When you wanted to be around Bo and I, we thought it was because you just wanted to spend time with us.”
“I did! I still do, it’s just a little much now. I’m trying to grow up and you keep holding onto things in the past.”
“Because in the past, you were around more. The future’s scary, Heather. You think we don’t know that you’re planning to move out soon?”
Heather got quiet. “How’d you find out?”
Bo frowned. “The twins can’t keep a secret to save their lives. They started showing us real estate and offering their advice on where you should go.”
The brunette frowned, making a mental note to yell at those blonds.
“You could have at least told us yourself.”
“I wasn’t planning on doing it immediately.”
“But doing it in a few months and telling us as you head out the door isn’t much better,” Ebba told her. “How could you be so selfish?”
“How am I being selfish?”
“We could help you find a place if you want to leave so badly,” Bo stated. “Instead of giving us the chance to help, you keep it a secret.”
“There’s no reason to worry yourselves with all of that. I can handle it.”
“You’ve never been a burden, Heather. I don’t know how after sixteen years, you’d think otherwise.”
“It’s not that I do. I’m just trying to be an adult. I am an adult after all.”
Bo scoffed. “By law, but I’d hardly say you are. You’re still a teenager.”
“I could’ve been in the military since last year if I wanted to be,” Heather snapped. “Whether or not you two have accepted it, I’m a grown woman now.”
“So, you don’t need us anymore,” Bo said harshly. “Guess we can just go to a retirement home and be forgotten about.”
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“No, you’re just saying that you don’t want to be around us now that you have more options for company–better options,” Ebba said, emotion audible in her voice.
Heather let out a frustrated yell. “Fine! Think what you want. I’m heading out.”
“Where are you going?” Bo asked.
“Not to my new house if that’s what you’re thinking.”
With a loud slam, Heather shut the door and went to the garage. The car she got for her sixteenth birthday was in there, so she opened up the garage door and angrily drove away. It was not difficult to decide where to go. All her friends were in a different state, so the only place she had access to was her brother’s. In thirty minutes, she reached her location. Though she normally called first, the brunette was so upset that she just pulled up to the apartment and banged on the door. A dog started barking and she could hear her brother shushing him in a nervous voice. When Dagur opened the door, he lifted an eyebrow at the visitor. Heather went past him and huffed.
“They’re unbelievable!” she exclaimed.
Dagur quickly shut the door behind her. “Okay, well so is the furious, raven-haired lady who’s about to make the landlord find out I’m hiding a Pitbull in here. He already hates me.”
Heather’s attention moved to the orange and brown dog. He wagged his tail at her, then got picked up by Dagur.
“You know he’s excitable,” the redhead chided, turning to calm the dog like he was a baby.
“Well, sorry, but I didn’t know where else to go.”
The young man sighed and gestured to a dark gray sofa with a chew toy on one seat.
“Just toss that to Strykie and sit.”
Heather did as he suggested after the dog was put back on the ground and sat down, crossing her arms. Dagur sat by her and tilted his head.
“What’s up?”
“My parents treat me like a child.”
“Well, you are their child.”
“Ugh. You sound just like them.”
“Really? Maybe I’ll be a good dad like Bo then.”
“If you’re like him, you’ll just smother your kid until they feel like they can’t breathe.”
Dagur made a face at her. “Is there another way to smother someone?”
“You’re missing the point. This is a bad thing.”
“I’m not missing anything. You’re just acting childish.”
Heather looked offended. “I am not. I’m trying to prove to them that I can handle stuff on my own. They didn't get that and kept trying to say things that I didn’t even say, so I came here to get away from them.”
Dagur started to laugh. “Yeah, because everyone knows that the least childish thing anyone can do is be mad that they aren’t getting their way and then throw a tantrum.”
“I didn’t throw a tantrum.”
“Sis, why are you here right now if you didn’t? You even barged through the door like you were still in the middle of it. If anyone understands tantrums, it’s me. So, if I say you’re having one, you are.”
Heather just frowned at him, making him laugh even more. He pointed at her expression.
“You’ve got the same pouty face you did when you were little. Maybe you’re not so different from a kid after all.”
Upset, Heather stood up. “I didn’t come here just for you to also call me a child too, Dagur.”
The redhead caught her hand. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry. Not sorry about making you want to leave, though. You should. You need to go back and talk with your folks.”
“I just did.”
“No, it sounds like you all yelled at each other. You need to talk.”
“I don’t have anything to say to them.”
The siblings stared each other down. After a few moments, Dagur set his hands down on his knees.
“Fine, you can stay for the night, but by tomorrow, your angry butt is out of here and on the first bus to your parents’ house.”
“I drove here.
“You know what I mean. You can take my room. I’ll be out here with Strykie.”
Heather smiled. “Thanks.”
She gave the redhead a hug. Heather walked into a dark room and plopped down onto the bed, staring up at a poster of a puppy on the ceiling. It contrasted a lot with the hunting knife set she saw on the side of the bed. The student stayed there, thinking over what her brother and parents had said. She did not feel like she did anything wrong. Even though Dagur did not tell her to apologize, she felt that going back to them with her tail between her legs was a sign of defeat. As often as her parents called her, they could reach out first. In the morning, Heather received no such call. It also did not come in the afternoon. The whole time, the redhead was cleaning everything from top to bottom even though it already looked clean. Dagur set out a vase with some tulips he got and put out candles. It was early evening when he was pushing his sister out the door.
“I’m going,” she insisted.
“Not quickly enough. You’re going to kill the mood if you’re here when Mala shows up.”
“Why don’t you just go to her place and then I stay here?”
“We alternate. It’s my turn to host, so it’s time to scoot. Out out, darn sis! Love you, though.”
Heather sighed and conceded to leaving the home. She got in her car and began heading back. Even still, she considered just going to the park instead. Who would know the difference? She could tell Dagur that they spoke and he might…see through that immediately. She had to go if she did not want his judgmental, big brother frown. She never liked being on the receiving end of that. So, Heather kept driving until she reached home. The woman opened the garage and parked the car next to her parents’. She unlocked the door and stepped inside, taking a breath.
“Mom, Dad, I’m back.”
No one said anything, so Heather frowned.
“I went out to Dagur’s. Sorry I didn’t just tell you.”
Still, she heard nothing. Heather felt a draft and turned her head to the front door. Its glass was broken. Heart stopping for a moment, the girl ran up the stairs. With a gasp, she saw Bo on the top of the staircase. A pool of blood was around his head. Immediately, tears flowed down Heather’s cheeks.
“Dad!” she cried.
The brunette checked his pulse and felt nothing. Her own pulse was racing and she forced herself to go past him to find her mother. The woman was in their bedroom with a bullet wound in her chest, sitting with her back against a wall.
“Mom!”
Heather checked to see if she was alive, but it was the same. Her world was spinning. She ran to the bathroom and emptied the contents of her stomach in the toilet. This was all so wrong. She could not believe her eyes. Maybe she had gotten drunk and was hallucinating. Maybe someone on the plane had drugged her without her noticing. She fumbled for her phone and dropped it twice. The brunette could only think of one number to call. When Dagur’s phone rang, he began to sigh. His annoyance evaporated when he heard the sound of his sister hyperventilating.
“Heather,” he said calmly, “take a breath. Where are you and what happened?”
“I-I’m home…an-and Mom and Dad...” Heather had to stop, getting choked up more with a sob. “They were killed!”
“Get somewhere safe and stay on the line,” he said, sternness in his voice just as much as his concern was. “I’ll be there in five.”
Heather nodded, forgetting that she could not be seen by him. The redhead’s time estimate was wrong. He made it there in three minutes. First, Dagur went upstairs. He saw Bo and his heart sank. It only did more when he found Heather sitting near her mother’s lifeless body. He wanted to go over to her, but before he did, he did a quick scan of the house and property. Sure that no danger was still there, he called the police to report the crime. Then, Dagur sat down with Heather and hugged her. In the hug, she began to sob, shoulders shaking violently.
“Our last conversation was an argument,” she wailed. “I didn’t even tell them that I loved them!”
Dagur just held her, letting Heather get the tears out. He waited for the tremors in her body to become gentler before speaking.
“They knew,” he said, certain.
“I-I should have told them. Now, I’ll never get the chance.”
“They’re not really gone,” he told her, holding her shoulders and using one hand to gently lift her chin so that she looked him in the eye. “We might not see them, but their spirits will be with you. They can be with you forever now. You know how much they have to love the sound of that.”
In spite of her sadness, Heather chuckled. “Yeah, I guess they would.”
She started to wipe her eyes but found that Dagur was already dabbing her cheeks with a tissue. Heather let him assist in raising her to her feet. She took some shaky steps down to the main floor to wait for the authorities. The police arrived soon afterwards. Dagur answered as many questions as he could so that Heather did not have to talk. She was still asked a few questions, but when this was done, her brother led her to his car.
“Where are we going?” she asked miserably.
“To the lake.”
Heather gave him a weak smile, remembering how it used to cheer her up to be there when she was a child.
“I didn’t know you remembered that.”
“Of course, I do. Don’t want to forget anything that makes you happy.”
The young man drove them to the lake and stopped when they were close enough for a beautiful view of the stars twinkling down on the calm water. A few stray tears fell again from Heather’s face as what happened continued to sink in.
“A home invasion,” she said disbelievingly. “How could they lose their lives to a home invasion gone wrong? They were so healthy. They could have lived for four more decades at least.” The girl looked at her brother. “How many times do I have to be orphaned? First our parents, then mine. They probably died, thinking I hated them.”
Dagur shook his head and held her hand. “You couldn’t pay me to believe that. They knew you cared. Even if you wanted to do some things on your own, that just meant they raised you to be independent. They were so proud of you for that. I talked with them a lot this year and all they could do was rave about you, Heather. They loved how much you didn’t need them to take care of you. They wanted to protect you and do things for you because it reminded them of when you were little and always around them. They loved those times, but they loved you even more.”
Heather tightly shut her eyes, not wanting to cry anymore. “But for it to end that way…I’m a terrible person.”
“No, you’re not.” Dagur paused, then began to frown. “Remember when we found our father.”
The brunette opened her eyes to look at him. “Of course. Why?”
“Well…after the two of us spoke with him, I went back alone.” The redhead gripped the steering wheel so that he had something to squeeze that he could not hurt. “I was so angry with him for giving us up. It made me even madder since he still didn’t want me. I hated how after all that searching and finally finding him, I was about to go right back to the orphanage and just be alone again. So, I told him that if he didn’t want to spend his life with us, I didn’t think he deserved to have one at all.”
Heather’s eyebrows lifted. “You never told me that.”
“Because I was ashamed of what I said,” Dagur admitted, lowering his head. “The next day was the car wreck. He’d died and the last thing I said to him was that I wanted him to.” The redhead’s throat burned, but he swallowed hard and forced out a laugh. “I think that’s why I decided to become a racecar driver–to test fate and see if getting taken out by a car was hereditary.”
The sister put a comforting hand on his shoulder. Dagur cleared his throat and turned to her.
“You’re not a terrible person, Heather. You guys had an argument about growing up and letting go. No one could’ve known what was going to happen, but we know what happened before all that,” he said. “You’ve always shown your parents through your actions that you love them. Do you really think a few upset words suddenly made them doubt what you’d been proving the entire time you’ve known them?”
Heather wanted to believe him. She glanced up at her brother.
“What if I lose someone else?”
Dagur put a hand on his beard. “Just try to end the conversation on good terms,” he suggested. “Even if you disagree, find a way to end things so that there aren’t any regrets.” He gave her a smile. “That’s why I always say that I love you when we say goodbye. You just never know…you know?”
The brunette nodded and looked out at the water. “I want to see Grandma and Grandpa while I’m here this time. It’s been a while since I’ve visited them. I want them to know how much I love them too.”
“I think that’s a really good idea.”
“I also want to be there for them when they get this news.” She turned to Dagur. “Will you go with me?”
“I can if you want me to, but I don’t know if they like me very much.”
“They should get to know you more. They’d appreciate knowing that you looked out for Mom and Dad this year.” The girl’s eyes widened. “You were supposed to be with Mala right now. I ruined your night.”
Dagur frowned at her. “Stop it. I’ll always be here when you need me. Mala understands that.”
Heather gave his hand a grateful squeeze. After a little bit longer, they rode back to Dagur’s apartment. He went out to the house to get a few of Heather’s belongings. The young man already knew that sleeping there would be too much for her. She appreciated him not making her say it. The rest of the break was filled with the police investigation, but Heather was thrilled for the culprit to have been found and arrested. It took Dagur reminding her of the jail time for murder to stop her from trying to kill him. Knowing he was behind bars helped with closure, but the pain stayed the same. Still, Dagur did everything he could to help make the two weeks as nice as possible for Heather. When it was time for her flight back to school, he drove her. He parked and she gave her brother a hug.
“Thanks for everything,” she said sincerely. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
They waved goodbye to one another as she went to go further into the airport. The goodbye would be temporary. Heather hoped most of the ones she gave to her family and friends would be, but even if they were not, she now knew exactly how they would be given. No more leaving angry and hurt. No more regrets.