Chapter Text
When Clarke woke up from the loud noises coming somewhere under the bedroom she shared with Finn, she got confused for a moment, not understanding what was really going on.
She tried to move up but her head was heavy-a fact that she refused to contribute to the bottle of wine she finished on her own last night-and let it fall back with a thud on the pillow. To say that she was both annoyed and depressed at the same time would be an understatement but the anxiety that she woke up with every day had settled deep in her stomach, making her shaky and nervous.
She heard Finn move around in the bathroom and knew he was getting ready for another day in the capaign's office. Since Arkadia's mayor Thelonious Jaha announced that he won't be running for another tour and was instead giving his support out to the promising young man from his crew, Finn Collins, her husband has spent every day, no matter if it was the weekend or not, in the office.
Clarke knew the reality of the situation though-Finn had worked for Jaha's office for over five years, since a bit before they met and got married, he knew all the dirt there was on him and as far as she knew, he had caught him with some sex workers in downtown Sanctum only a month ago, blackmailed him with a tape and forced him to step down.
He had always been smart, it was one of the reasons why she fell for him-the boyish charm, the brains, the sweetness with which he treated her like a princess, held her hand, took her to dinners acting like a real gentleman. The peaceful way at which he looked on local politics but also the ambition for a career that he had.
It was all perfect until they actually got married and his behavior changed-he turned colder, spent many nights away from home until Clarke caught him with his high school sweetheart Raven Reyes and threatened to divorce him.
Somewhere deep down, she knew he married her just for her name. Jake Griffin had been Arkadia's best mayor before his untimely death in a car accident involving Clarke as well and Abby Griffin was the head of the local hospital with a sway in politics and involvement in the town council.
Yet Clarke refused to believe this has been the reason why it happened-she had fallen so hard for Finn that she hadn't seen what has been going on right before her eyes.
He made it clear they won't divorce-he had dirt on her mom, knew she was secretly abusing not just hospital presciptions but her own too. She was also doing some money laundring for the mayoral office through the hospital and both of this accusations would surely get her in jail for a long time.
So Clarke gave up on trying to do something, he had won and she had decided she'll just lead her own life as well as she could and they'd simply share a house.
It wasn't as easy as she thought, though-Finn wanted to keep up appearances, insisted she came on every party, celebration or important event.
Then, he started coming back to their common bed and insisting they fucked, made an heir-it was important for him to present the perfect family to Arkadia's society and Clarke was well-aware that his main goal was to become senator one day, something which she believed he will be able to do if he just kept up the same behavior. At first she fought him off and he didn't force himself on her, he was smart and knew that she'd bend on her own, which she did.
First because she thought a baby would give her purpose and make things a little more bearable. Second because he reminded her how easy it would be to just send her mom to state's prison.
She felt nothing when they fucked. Maybe that is why the result was nothing too. She got pregnant twice but lost the babies in weeks. That worked awful for her psych and enhanced her depression, making her drink herself to oblivion every night.
The doctors couldn't find a reason as to why it happened-she wasn't sick, nothing was wrong, she just couldn't keep them. Finn tried to be nice then but eventually turned evil.
He started coming back home late again and she knew he was with other women.
When he snuck in bed and rolled her over, pushing her pants down and entering her all rough and angry while stinking of whiskey, he kept whispering "You'll give me a kid, no matter how many times I have to fuck you, princess." except he wouldn't.
She had secretly gone on the pill again six months ago and since she couldn't even get pregnant, Finn had given up, at least for the time being, which gave her back some sort of peace.
But she was stuck and she knew there was no way out. In all honesty, she felt like there was only one way this ended but she was too chickenshit to do it.
With great effort, she forced herself to move up on the bed and reach to grab the gown she used to wrap around her shoulders in the morning before taking a step to the window and sobering up the second her eyes fell on the backyard.
"Finn, what the hell is going on?" she asked, raising her voice to make sure he could hear her through the sound of the water coming from the bathroom. "Who are these people?"
"Construction crew I told you about." he barked back. She could tell he was tense again, had some sort of important meeting going on today the significance of which evaded her. "They're gonna fix the backporch and part of the roof, make the garden look good again and change the fence." she blinked several times and leaned on the window frame as she tried to make out the small figures that were crawing like ants in the garden.
They were cleaning, mowing the lawns, fixing the bushes, carrying out beams and all sorts of materials they were gonna need for fixing this part of the house.
Her eyes fell on the apple tree.
"Can you tell them not to stay away from the tree?"
"Already did." he mumbled back with a voice softer than before and for a moment she was reminded of the boy she first fell in love with.
That was until she noticed that most of the work crew seemed a bit off. There were two wanky boys who were obviously in charge of the gaden, one of whom swayed on his feet a little as he walked, a bit like he was drunk but not exactly. There were two men, an African-American boy with a beanie and a tall well built guy who were shirtless and who carried various scars on their backs.
Then there was this other man, her eyes fell on him and for some reason stayed there-he was standing on top of the back of the truck, barking orders-he had a dirty white shirt, black pants and beautiful black curls that weren't too long but moved in synch with his head movements. He said something about the beams he had brought in and when he got off the truck, she saw that he limped heavily with his left leg, walked in a very weird angle like he was permanently hurt.
All of that confused her.
"Finn, are you aware that the man who seems like the boss...is limping?" she asked again and the nurse inside of her, the proffession that she hasn't practiced in over four years now, made her want to go out there and take care of these boys.
It was weird but she hasn't felt that urge in a while, she didn't know what made it come back to her, where did the spark come from.
"I know." he came out of the bathroom and she didn't turn around to look at him because the sight of him even half-naked made her tremble with disgust. "Jaha suggested them to me. It's some friend of his who owns the firm, Kane or something, they do gardening, construction, all sorts of manual labour. It's the only place in town that gives work to the local veterans."
Clarke squeezes her eyes shut and wraps her arms over her chest.
"So naturally...it'd be good for PR if you hired them?"
"Absolutely. People would eat that shit up and Jaha promised me Kane or some of the other workers will tell a few good words about me on one of the next public events." his voice got closer as he came around and she felt him standing right behind her.
He wrapped his arms around her and pushed her to his chest, making her shiver again. She felt him bury his nose in the crook of her neck and kiss her there, swaying them as he did so and sneaking a hand under her gown and shirt to squeeze her boob.
Clarke tried to push away from him but he held her tightly by the middle with his other hand.
"Finn-" she begged and he sighed but kept his hand on her boob for a bit longer, massaging it in his fingers until he pulled away and both his hands moved to her ass, squeezing it a little. "Finn, I said no!"
"You always do until I remind you of our deal, don't you, princess?" his voice was heavy, slick and he forced her to turn around and look at her.
God, she hated him. She hated his guts but when he leaned over and buried his face in her neck, she couldn't make herself fight him.
He had come to bed last night with the intention of fucking her but she had pretended to be asleep and he gave up, satisfying himself with just feeling her up and jerking himself off, spilling on the sheets behind her-something that was dirty and awful but it was better than having sex with him.
She knew now she wouldn't be as lucky. It has been over a month since he tried this but she knew it wouldn't last forever.
"You don't want to see mom behind bars now, do you?" she asked and Clarke shivered, letting him push her down on the bed and feeling him spread her legs. She hated this but she was going to have to take it and she didn't have the strength to fight him either, she simply couldn't.
"It has been a while since we tried for another baby. Maybe we should start working towards that goal again? It'll do wonders for my campain if you're knocked up by the time elections come, don't you think."
"Finn..." she begged but he squeezed her jaw and forced her eyes to meet his. It hurt her and she was sure it'd leave a bruise but she couldn't fight him off.
"Quiet now! I've been far too gracious with you, you little slut. Don't pretend you don't want this too." and she told herself a part of her did, that she craved love even in this twisted form but her heart screamed it was wrong and she shouldn't believe his words, not for a minute.
She swallowed hard and closed her eyes when she saw him pull down his boxers and taking out his already hard dick.
He usually made her roll over and fuck her from behind but this time, he wanted to touch and torture all of her, so she closed her eyes and turned her head away as he just did it and she allowed it to happen.
Weirdly, the whole time which was rather short, in typical Finn manner, she couldn't get out the image of the boy with the curly hair out of her head.
When Finn was done, he got off of her, pulled his boxers, zipped his pants and she remained simply lying there, spent and absolutely broken yet again.
"Don't worry-" he added "You can still go to the pool and drink yourself to oblivion whenever you feel like." the pool was located on the west side of the mansion and the garden was facing south which meant she still had to go through it to get there and continue her awful existence. "I'll be late tonight, don't wait up." he added and closed the door with a thud as he rushed down the stairs.
Clarke found the strength just to roll over and curl up on her own before she cried herself to sleep.
She woke up from the sound of electric sawdust piercing the air and a lot of noise coming from the kitchen under her which meant their maid, Maya must've come over to clean up and make her something to eat. She heard the workers yell as they moved more things around and she forced herself to get up, fish out the birth control pills from their hiding place and take one with some water before finally going downstairs.
She heard an unfamiliar voice in the kitchen mixing in with all the noise coming from outside before she entered and something made her stop by the door that was open just ajar and look through the crack.
Clarke saw the man from the truck stand there talking to Maya and she finally got a better look at him. She almost gasped when she laid eyes on the freckles that covered his cheeks, his eyes were a beautiful dark brown color and the curls...she had underestimated them because God, they looked amazing and moved with every little tilt of his head.
He was broad, the shirt that he had on seemed to be too tight for his shoulders and arms and she found herself truly aroused just by looking at the way his chest moved with every breath he took.
He leaned heavily on his right side and she only now noticed he had a brace on his left leg, the one that she saw giving him trouble from above but other than that, he seemed to carry himself very well like nothing in the world really bothered him. He smiled at Maya, thanked her and reached to squeeze her shoulder in gratitude.
And then something inside of her snapped-she didn't know why she had the sudden urge to fight with him, as if she desperately wanted to sabotage herself. She pushed the heavy door and just then the noise from outside quieted down and she was suddenly faced with both of them staring at her confused and a little taken aback.
"Good morning, Mrs. Griffin." Maya nodded a little as she shyly put her hands before herself. The man took a step back too but was brave enough to stand her look and not turn his head away.
"Maya." she nodded without looking at her "What's going on here?" her voice was so cold that she hated herself for it and at the same time had no way of stopping herself.
"Nothing, ma'am. Mister-" she stopped looking at him confused, realizing she didn't catch his name.
"Blake. Bellamy Blake." he finished for her, offering the same kind smile as before but growing serious when his eyes fell on Clarke again just as she was thinking how interesting his name sounded to her-both soft and sweet like honey melting in your mouth.
She was quick to shake her thoughts, though and tried to focus back on the situation.
"Mister Blake here asked if I could get him and his workers some water." Clarke crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him with something akin to disgust even though all she felt at the moment was quite honestly, sexual attraction. She wished for nothing but to push him against the wall and fuck him. Hard.
"Well, mister Blake, we're not a charity. My husband hired you to fix our garden, the porch and the fence. You should've brought your own water bottles and everything you need."
"But, ma'am-"
"He'll ask for food tomorrow, Maya, what are you going to do then? Cook them a whole lunch?" she said coldly and saw the way Bellamy tensed and crossed his arms behind his back.
"Your employer is right, Maya, it was unethical of me to come here." he grew serious and it felt to Clarke like he just somehow appeared taller, despite his bad leg mostly remaining bend even as he stood up. "I'm so sorry, ma'am, I won't be bothering you again." Clarke nodded and watched him tip his hat and turn around, limping right outside to the backyard when her whole being wanted to scream and ask him to just come back, that she'd give him not one but a whole pack of water bottles, that she didn't want to be mean but that's all she knew these days-it was her way of protecting herself from the evils of the world.
Maya stood there still frozen long after Bellamy was gone and Clarke hadn't realized she hadn't moved at all either. When she remembered herself, she gave her a cold look and scolded her.
"What are you waiting for? Go back to work, you've got lunch and dinner to prepare!" she told her and Maya mumbled a quick "I'm sorry, ma'am." before going back to her duties.
In truth, Clarke wouldn't touch any of the food Maya made for the rest of the day. Instead, she'd grab a bottle of wine from the basement and go back to her room where she drank it while mindlessly watching TV.
One thing that was different from all the other days she spent sad and alone in her room was that something made her keep going to the window where she watched the crew work.
Clarke's not sure what made her slide her hand down to her panties as she focused on Bellamy Blake who was hauling beams off the white truck that two of the lanky boys brought right back with more materials and two big packs of mineral water.
She hasn't masturbated in months, in fact, she has come to hate sex since Finn so easily convinced her to stop fighting him whenever he decided he should have her but now...now something made her wet.
Clarke could convince herself it was the alcohol and this man's muscles-it was simple, primal, she just wanted to be nicely fucked but the truth was there was more to it. She couldn't pinpoint what interested her in him but it was more than his strong body. She wasn't even trying to get herself off, just lazily pumped herself as she watched him shout orders at the others and carry bags of cement or soil for the fence or the garden.
At the end, she got frustrated with herself, finished off her bottle and got back to bed, digging out her vibrator from the bottom drawer and finishing herself off with a quiet cry muffled in her pillow and the image of black curls and that beautiful freckled man as she came hard on the clean sheets.
She spent the next few days in a similar manner-Finn was thankfully mostly not at home, coming in late or not coming back at all.
He didn't try to touch her again which she was happy for and his absence gave her all the time she needed to observe Bellamy's crew.
She found out a lot about them just from observing them and keeping the window just slightly opened, so she could catch some of their conversations. She quickly learned their names-Miller seemed to be Bellamy's best friend, the boy he hung most with around and who always carried a beanie and sometimes sway on his legs which told her he must've suffered some sort of brain injury.
Monty and Jasper were the goodballs responsible for the garden and the plants-they were too small and wanky to do the heavy lifting and she wondered how they were involved in the Army in the first place, that was of course until she realized that she had been quick to judge them and saw them lifting some of the beams with Bellamy and Miller.
Jasper seemed to be an avid drinker like her and she found out the others covered for him-it seemed that his pain was the problem in their little group, one that made them all worry and make sure they were all on the same page.
There were two girls in the crew as well-Harper and Monroe who were smart and level headed, helped Bellamy and Miller a lot with planning the construction, as well as another guy, Roan who was just as strong as Bellamy but seemed to be a bit of a lone wolf. From what she could say they weren't always on the same page but ultimately respected each other.
They also had a dog, a German shephard called Bullet from what she heard who looked like a retired Army dog but helped out a lot and Clarke wished she could go there and pet him, play some with him as it reminded her of the puppy she had when she was a kid who her mom gave away after her father's death.
From everything she gathered, this was a group that came together for more than just work-they treated each other like family and it was quite clear who the mother hen was.
Bellamy always paid attention to everyone, knew what each person's task was but not just that-he genuinely took care of them. When Miller got a little lightheaded, he made him sit down, drink water and eat a granola bar. If Jasper got drunk and passed out mid-work, he picked him up in his arms and took him to the truck where he tucked him in a blanket and made sure he was fine, waking him up every few hours and forcing him to drink water. If Monty was sad because his friend was bad, he took a minute to talk to him. When Roan's shoulder hurt, which was seemingly his weak spot, he took him off beam carrying duty and sent him to help the girls with the plans.
At noon he forced them all to stop working and made them gather around the truck where they ate together, talked, discussed plans for the project or talked about going to the bar later that week or to some charity vet event or anything else.
At the end of the week, an older man who must've been Kane, the owner of the company, came over and paid them, letting Bellamy distribute the money between the workers-she noticed more than once that he took some out of his envelope and put them in Millers or Jasper's ones without telling anyone about it.
Though he took care of everyone else, nobody took care of him and that was mostly because he was great at hiding his pain, which however, Clarke definitely noticed. He had to stop more often than once to hide behind the truck where he squeezed his knee and closed his eyes, trying to undergo his pain.
He stayed later than everyone else, trying to finish up something they could't get to earlier and in those moments, she found him working sitting on the bench, cutting wood or crawling around the back porch, using his hands to move his leg that appeared swollen to her. In the morning he limped harder, heavier and only Miller ever noticed it and tried to tell him something about it but Bellamy ignored it.
She had overheard a conversation between the two of them on accident late one evening when it was already dark and she thought they were all gone. The door leading to the garden was open, Maya must've forgotten it and she found herself keeping her movements quiet, so she could hear them better.
"You should go home now, it's late. I can drive us." Miller had said while Bellamy kept hitting something with a hammer, only stopping every now and then.
"I'm good. I'll get the truck back to the garage, I want to finish this up so we can start on the floor tomorrow."
"Bellamy, you've been limping bad all day, I know you're in pain."
"I'm fine." Miller sighed, sounding like a mom who couldn't make her kid go to bed and it just drove her mad. "I always limp unless if you've noticed." he added, just to tease him.
"Did you see the doctor Kane recommended?"
"No."
"Bellamy, you need to start taking care of your leg! I know it hurts and it's very painful but you're not doing anything to help it-no PT, no medication, it's bound to get worse."
"I can handle it, I've got my brace, it keeps me secure."
"That doesn't fix things!" Miller scolded. "If it's about money-"
"It isn't." Bellamy cut off.
"I know you sent almost everything to Octavia but-"
"Cut if off, Miller, I don't want to talk about it!" Bellamy raised his voice now angry and the man finally gave up, cursing quietly and adding something like "Fine, keep destroying yourself, you stubborn idiot." before leaving, going back to the front of the house where they've parked their personal cars and turning on the engine.
Clarke dared a peak from the dark kitchen and saw Bellamy continue to work on his wooden beam, sawdusting it on a table they've put out in the back for measuring and cutting. He waited until he could no longer hear the engine when he stopped, dropped his hammer and stretched his leg out.
She watched him squeeze his knee tightly with both hands and groan quietly, his whole body shaking with the pain. Only now did she notice there was a really big scar on his left arm too, one that went from his wrist to his elbow and she could only imagine the seriousness of the injury he had gone through.
For a while he stayed there like this until the pain seemed to let go of him. When it did, he forced himself to get up and limped to the truck where he took out a beer bottle and dragged himself up on the bed of the track lighting up a cigarette and smoking in the quiet of the night.
She moved up to her bedroom and watched him from there, her heart filled with questions and worries about a man she didn't know.
What confused her and made her heart jump was when he tilted his head in her direction and though she had the lights off, she had the sinking feeling he was well aware she had been watching him the entire time.
Clarke wasn't sure why that was both thrilling and sexy but she kept his look through the distance and felt the wetness pool at her again-despite the darkness of the night she was certain he was staring at her and she could make out all the stubborness and disdain gathered in those brown eyes.
He kept looking at her like this, his head tilted up at her window for what felt like ten minutes.
Clarke who was intimidated at first, felt a sudden rebelious streak so unlike herself-she went to the door where the key for the lights was and turned it on. Then came by to the windows again but not too close, deciding to keep him on his toes after which she took off the sweater she was wearing with one go and undid the clasp of her bra in one swift motion, taking a moment to hang closer by the window still.
There was nothing but silence for a while and then she heard the breaking of a glass, some commotion in the garden before she finally looked down in all her naked glory and realized he was back in the truck, turning on the engine yet lingering for a minute too long, fighting with himself if to look up again or not.
She knew it, she didn't know how but she was certain that's exactly what's been going on in his head in that moment.
That night when Finn came home from work, he was drunk and wanted to fuck her. She fought him less than she usually did and opted to close her eyes and imagine Bellamy on top of her as Finn fucked her hard and fast, finishing in just a few minutes in his typical manner. Once she was sure he was asleep, she went to the bathroom to clean herself up, drew herself a bath and finished fucking herself slowly in the warm water. When she came, she washed herself well, soaped her hair and went under the water like she always did but this time she didn't have the urge to stay under.
Instead, she came up for a breath of fresh air rather fast and went to bed still hot and rubbing her thighs against each other, feeling empty and unsatisfied.
They kept this game going for the next few days-Bellamy always stayed last, working late after everyone was already gone, sitting up on his truck, drinking his beer and smoking his cigarette while she undressed by the window of her bedroom.
They never spoke about it, not once but Clarke made sure to come by and check out their work as she casually went to the pool on the other side in her bikini or just pretended to be doing something in the kitchen, giving Maya orders while overhearing them talk in the backyard.
Their eyes fell on each other more than once and Clarke noticed he started teasing her too mostly as if he knew exactly what was going on here, that she was keeping an eye on him, so he took off his shirt late one afternoon mostly as if he wanted to punish her....but also make her disgusted by him or so she thought because his back and chest were covered in scars which didn't affect her at all and if that had been his goal, he failed in it dramatically.
The others didn't notice which meant they were well aware of his state but her seeing him like this told her that there were more fucked up things with him than just his leg. He didn't keep it off for long, probably because he was ashamed of his body, he did it just enough for her to see him before changing into another shirt.
The next day, she told Maya to make ice tea and hand it over to the workers.
The girl asked her if she was sure and Clarke said yes realizing that the sudden change of behavior must've seemed weird but in that past week since they've started working for them, Clarke's felt her heart soften and something inside of her move as if it was awaken for the first time in years.
She heard her own heartbeat when she went to bed one night and realized that yes, she was alive, the realization hitting her like a freight train that both scared her and brought her peace.
Considering the work they were doing, they were prone to injuries and she noticed them patching up cuts or using ice from their bags to put on bruises their made at least twice a day, so when she went to do grocery shopping one day, she made sure to get extra band-aids, antiseptic and other first-aid kit stuff to fill in the cabinet they had in the kitchen.
Since her ice tea giveaway, she told Maya they can come in and ask for food or water whenever they liked. Clarke noticed Bellamy didn't touch his tea and never came inside but the others did and Maya made them sandwiches or offered them something sweet to boost their blood sugar more often than once.
Other people would be annoyed by all the noise they made but Clarke quite liked it-the house hadn't been this full in...well...ever or at least since she was a little girl.
Some of the workers started talking to her too and she found herself trying to come up with reasons to go downstairs when she heard them talking to Maya.
Jasper was the saddest of them all and maybe that's why they got quick to talk because Clarke was just as sad as him. Monty was quiet but very polite and smart-it was in Clarke's opinion that he shouldn't be working that job at all.
Harper was cheerful, always seeing the good things in life. Monroe and Roan talked little but it was nothing compared to Miller and Bellamy who barely spoke a word in her direction. In fact, they avoided her, their walls were built high up and they made it clear they weren't going to be friends with her.
Clarke kept watching them from the bedroom window, kept playing whatever game she had secretly going with Bellamy who wouldn't talk to her but she also picked up her old sketch book and started drawing in the afternoon, just them working in the garden, simple stuff. Then when she couldn't fall asleep, she took out her old college text books, finding it interesting to read about healing all over again.
It turned out it wasn't such a bad idea to refresh her medical knowledge because late one afternoon, she heard a commotion coming from the kitchen downstairs and she sat up startled in bed. The voices were loud, frantic, she heard Maya panic and she knew something was wrong so she ran downstairs, dressed in her dark blue tank top and shorts with her satin flower gown on top of her.
When she made it to the kitchen she found a few people gathered around someone who was crying in pain and she quickly recognized Jasper's voice.
"What's going on here?" she asked and quickly came by their side to see Miller, Monty and Maya pull away from Bellamy who was holding Jasper in his arms. The boy had his left arm tucked up against his chest with a white kitchen towel wrapped around his foreharm.
"Jasper cut himself with the saw on accident." Bellamy spoke to her directly for the first time and she realized just now how gravely and deep his voice her.
On normal circumstances that would make her wet, have her wonder how his lips would feel like against her thighs but right now she had to focus on the problem before them.
"We should get an ambulance." Maya offered and Clarke noticed how pale she was and she realized her suspicions about the girl have a crush on Jasper were probably right.
"No, I don't have insurance...can't afford going there." Jasper protested and moaned again when he felt the pain wash over him and pressed his arm against his chest once more.
"We don't need that, I can fix him." Clarke opposes and comes by his side, reaching for Jasper's arm gently.
"What?" Bellamy asked confused at that.
"I'm a nurse, I can stitch him up." she said simply and touched his hand softly as she tugged it away "Can I take a look, please?" Jasper nodded and offered his hand. The moment Clarke undid the bandage, she blood poored faster but she was quick to expertly press her thumb against the worst of it, so she could take a closer look. The cut was long, vertical and it had hit his veins which is what caused the heavy bleeding. He had already lost quite a lot of blood and she saw he was getting pale and weak in Bellamy's arms, so she had to act fast.
"I can fix him." she stated with certainty and turned to the others "Maya, there's an orange med bag upstairs in the closet, bring it over, please." Maya got on her feet immideately and quickly ran upstairs.
"I took a medic course in the Army too, I can help you out." Miller added and she nodded.
"There's sterile gloves in the drawer by the fridge over there. I'll need some warm water too, so-"
"I'll get it." Monty went by the sink and rummaged around to find a bowl and clean rags.
"Get him on the couch over there-" Clarke told Bellamy, nodding by the small couch they had near the window which was rather hard and uncomfortable but Maya used it to lift her feet up in the afternoon when she was done working and even Clarke liked sitting in it at night, sipping from her wine and looking at the window that gave her a nice view of the backyard and nearby forest.
"He's already lost a lot of blood, how do we fix that?" Miller asked when he came by and passed her a clean pair of gloves while Bellamy settled down on the couch and lifted Jasper up in his arms.
"Are any of you his blood type? I can make a transfusion." several voices came from the small crowd but Bellamy outweighted them all.
"I'll do it." he said and everyone started arguing again, prostesting against it but he raised his hand a little and cut them off "I'm the only one of us who's not on any painkillers or other serious meds. I'll do it." he said and they all went quiet at that, sighing angrily with Miller's eyes piercing right through Bellamy's.
"I thought you were taking the heart meds and the anti-inflammatories they prescribed for your leg. I went with you to the pharmacy to fill in the prescription after your last check-up." Bellamy swallowed hard and opted to look down at Jasper who was still struggling.
"They were making me too sleepy."
"Bellamy-"
"We don't have time for that now." he cut his friend off and met Clarke's eyes again "Help him. Please." she nodded and just then Maya returned with her orange medical bag and Monty brought the warm water and clean rags over.
"I'll need some space, please." she asked gently of them "You don't have to leave, just give me the room to work on him. Bellamy, you can keep holding him, make sure he doesn't move and prop him up in your arms a little." she asked "Miller, you can assist me, pass everything I need." they all nodded and smiled a little gratefully at her.
Clarke had forgotten how much she loved working as a nurse, being able to help someone else, it filled her whole being. She washed her hands first, then quickly got on a clean pair of gloves that Miller passed for her before leaning over Jasper who was no longer squirming in Bellamy's arms but had quieted down, probably due to all the blood loss he was suffering.
"Hey-" she said gently as she reached out for his hand again "I know it's scary but I'm going to help you now, okay?" she promised and Jasper nodded a little, letting her take his hand out so she could get a better look "Maya, can you please get that old wooden chair in the corner, I'll use it as a place to rest his arm on." Maya immideately passed it over, the placed a clean white rag on it and Clarke leaned over and started working on the wound.
She was calm and careful-Jasper hurt and to ease his pain, she first administered a light sedative in his hand to help it get numb and ease his suffering, then she got her hands dirty and focused on stitching the cut. The rest of the crowd was quiet and only shared something in hush voices, so as not to bother her.
She felt Bellamy's eyes on her more than once but she looked up at him several times as well, seeing him quiet Jasper down and promise him that it'll be fine. He acted as a real older brother, pulling Jasper's head to his chest, stroking his head and keeping his arm in place while Clarke worked on it.
It wasn't easy sitching him up-the cut was deep and it kept bleeding and making it hard for her to actually do her job but Miller did his best to assist her and dabbed on the blood, using one bandage after the other and asking Maya or Monty to hand more water or clean rags whenever he was out of them. Still, Clarke succeeded-she knew she had to be fast and efficient so Jasper didn't lose any more blood than he already had. She cleaned the wound carefully before stitching it up but once she was done and she wrapped his arm in a clean bandage that started from his elbow all the way down to his wrist, she moved back and looked at Miller.
"We'll need antibiotics, we have to make sure he doesn't get an infection. I'll write you the stuff I need but I can't issue any prescriptions, so-"
"It's okay." Bellamy intervened "We know a pharmacist that can help." Miller agreed with a nod.
"I can get you anything you think he needs." he confirmed and Clarke didn't ask how come they knew someone like this, nor was she interested in finding out. The most important thing was helping Jasper.
"Just that. Maybe some vitamins and more bandages for when I need to change this."
"I can drive him home after we're done with the blood transfusion." Bellamy said, talking more to Miller than Clarke but she interrupted him.
"He shouldn't be moved. He can stay in one of the guest rooms at least until tomorrow when he feels better. It'll give me the chance to keep an eye on him." Bellamy raised an eyebrow and went back to his closed off, stern self.
"And what will your husband say about that?"
"Finn's away on a work trip in Sanctum. He leaves tonight and won't be back till Monday. Even if he was around, I can assure that he wouldn't find out. He doesn't spend time at home." she said it with her head bowed down and focused on Jasper's wound again even though she didn't have to do anything else on it right now. She felt Bellamy's head snap in Miller's direction for advice.
"I think she's right. He's weak, has been for months now. A wound like this with so much blood loss is dangerous. It's best not to move him right now." Bellamy sighed and met Clarke's eyes again, finally giving her a small nod.
It was clear that no matter what, he was the one who had the final word.
"You all should all go back home then. I'll finish the last of our tasks when she's done taking my blood."
"No way. You should do nothing but rest after." Miller opposed "And don't think I've forgotten about those meds you're not taking." Bellamy groaned at that.
"I'm fine, Miller. You tell the others you're going home-"Clarke hadn't realized that most of the crew had left the kitchen while she worked on Jasper, probably worrying that they should go back to work or not wanting to bother her as she did this "we'll get early here tomorrow and work till dawn to make up for it." MIller kept disagreeing though.
"Sometimes I think you forget we're not in the desert and you're not the boss of me."
"Trust me, I'm well-aware of where we are, Miller." Clarke saw Bellamy build his walls right back up and in that moment she could clearly imagine him as the team captain who took tough decisions on the spot without wavering "But Kane still appointed me to be this crew's leader and I'm letting you all go. If there's any consequences, I'll bear them, okay?" Miller huffed annoyed and she could see he was ready to fight more, pressure Bellamy into maybe being the one to go home and get rest too.
She had noticed that day that he limped worse than the previous, that he seemed to be in more pain than he was last week and if she had a say, she'd support Miller right now but she decided not to intervene. She watched Miller get up and take off his gloves, angrily throwing them in the rubbish bin.
"Fine, I'll let the others know...liuetenant" he said the last word the way an angry kid would when he fought their teacher and Bellamy winced a little.
"Miller!" he barked back at him but his friend didn't turn around, opting to leave through the back door and close it with a thud that felt like a slap on the face for Bellamy. Clarke remained quiet and pretended to fix Jasper's bandage while pressing her hand on his neck. He was still awake but he had grown really weak and he barely opened his eyes to look up at Bellamy.
"I'd say he's...mad, boss." he mumbled and Bellamy looked down on him, stroking his head gently as he looked up at Clarke.
"Will he be okay?" she nodded.
"He will but we need to do the blood transfusion now. He's lost too much." she explained and he nodded.
"Should we move him?" he asked, seeing as the small kitchen couch was way too uncomfortable for someone in Jasper's state.
"I'll show you to the guest room." Clarke said though she wanted to ask if perhaps they could lift Jasper up on his feet and carry him there together, seeing as how hard Bellamy was limping but she got the sense that he wouldn't let anyone but him take care of this boy, so she decided not to argue.
There were two guest rooms on the first floor and only when they left the kitchen did she see Bellamy look around, eyes widening a little, making her feel embarrassed for living in such a luxurious space for the first time since she's met him.
It was so stupid, how she acted like a school girl around him and at the same time it was the first real feeling she had since meeting Finn.
"Here, this one's smaller." she nodded to her left and opened the door up for him. Bellamy stopped at the door, Jasper had folded into his arms and dozed off against his chest, still looking rather pale, his breathing irregular which she could hear without even using a stethoscope.
"You call this small, princess?" the nickname burnt a whole through her heart and for the first time since being around him she snapped at him.
"Please, don't call me that." she asked and Bellamy sobered up, meeting her eyes upon realizing she was being serious. "Put him down and sit on the armchair over there. I'll bring my kit in a second.
Bellamy listened to her without protesting and she quickly ran to the kitchen to grab all of her stuff but lingered there for a second too long, feeling all of a sudden, shaken.
Sometimes the smallest things did it to her-she thought she was so used to being abused by Finn and letting him do this to her, ignore her or use her every day but then that nickname and the way he whispered it in her ear when he was inside her...it shook her, made her feel disgusted with herself.
She quickly got a grip of it, though and ran back to the room, finding Bellamy adjusting the pillows behind Jasper's head and tucking him in gently. She caught him whispering something like "Don't worry, buddy, you'll be just fine." as he leaned over to kiss his forehead.
He truly acted like a big brother who gave a damn and it made her smile a little. She didn't tell him she was there so as not to embarrass him but he felt her presence and turned around, quickly finding his way on the armchair. When he got on his feet, though, he swayed hard and would've fallen on the ground, had he not made his body go right where he needed it to. Clarke ran there and put her medkit down, reaching to touch his knee.
"You'll let me take a look at that later."
"I'm fine." Bellamy huffed but she bit her lower lip and gave him a look that suggested he won't be able to run away from that. "Let's just help him first." she put on a fresh pair of gloves while he rolled up his sleeve and placed it on the chair handle by her side.
She didn't know why but she felt like the whole thing was already rather intimate and she tried to keep it together as she rubbed the cotton over his vein and focused on putting in the needle as easily and painlessly as she could in his vein. He didn't flinch but she felt his eyes on her and she adjusted the blood bag on his side, watching it slowly start to fill in.
For a moment they said nothing to each other-she simply gave him this plastic ball to squeeze on while watching how the flow went. "Lean back and try to relax. I'll just check on him once more." Clarke whispered, turning around and pulling off her stethoscope to check Jasper's breathing.
The kid had passed out from the exauhstion and he seemed to be in pain, so she dabbed at his forehead with a clean rag and decided she'll give him painkillers after the blood transfusion, so he could rest more peacefully but she doubted he'll wake any time soon.
The whole time she felt Bellamy's eyes on her back and though they didn't say a thing, she felt like he was undressing her without actually touching her. Her pussy pulsed hard between her legs and she felt her panties drenching like they did the first time she undressed by the window for him to see.
"Is he okay?" he asked and his voice made her heart beat faster.
"He'll be fine. It's a rather big cut, though-" she turned around and sat on the bed by Jasper, where it was safe, as she looked back at him. Despite the pain he himself was clearly in, he looked so...strong, rough, but in the good way and she had the urge to jump in his lap and just stay there, realizing she envied Jasper when he carried him around. "And judging by the angle..."
"What are you saying?" he asked confused, perching up on the armchair a little "That he did it on purpose?"
"Do you think it's possible?" he fell back and stared down at his feet. She noticed him trying to adjust his bad leg a couple of times, moving it around, bending it, stretching it out, even wincing. It was clear he was in pain and it was bad.
"Yes. He lost someone very dear to him in the war and he never got over it. We've been trying to help him ever since but he's just...sad." Clarke looked down at the skinny boy who had now curled up on himself on his good side, sleeping somewhat soundly. "And I don't know what to do."
"Maybe he needs professional help. I know a doctor who works with vets, I can give you their number. Maybe you guys can convince him he should go."
"He's tried all sorts of groups, a therapist at the vet center, though those suck...but yes...I think it's worth another shot. Thank you." he said honestly and she felt her eyes on him again. The bag was filling rather fast and was already half-there, so Clarke pretended to be checking on that while his eyes remained trained on her every action.
"So working construction is what you guys do now...after the Army?" she asked, simply trying to fill in the void as she felt that if they kept up that way, she wouldn't be able to hold on for much longer and do something she may definitely regret.
"Yes. Kane was kind enough to hire us after we left. It didn't happen at the same time-Miller, Roan and I were last to join, just a little over a year ago."
"So you came home soon?" he hummed "Do you like it?"
"I enjoy fixing and building things. It's not much, though, so I may need to get a second job soon." she didn't ask why but she assumed that his Army pension wasn't particularly fancy and the construction job would only pay for some much which perhaps explained why he didn't do PT or take any medication. If she had to guess, he was helping out the others more than he did himself but she didn't say it since she didn't want to angry him now that they were talking for real for the first time since they've met.
"What about you? I can see you're pretty good at this. Why aren't you working?" Clarke shrugged, feeling herself blush. The bag was full enough now, so she carefully undid the needle from his vein and handed him a cotton swab to press against it while she gently tucked Jasper's good arm from underneath him and carefully attached it to his own vein while getting the bag up on a coat hanger she got from the corner of the room, taking her time to answer him.
"I don't know...I guess I just lost interest in it and Finn he...he didn't like me working. Wanted me home with the kids we never had. It's better for a rising politician's wife to be an upstanding citizen rather than a nurse working long hours and never really being home."
"But you like it? I can see you do it with passion." Clarke nodded.
"I like helping people out." she said with a small shrug and tucked Jasper in with the blanket, making sure he was feeling warm enough. Then she adjusted the drop and made sure his arm is secured so that he wouldn't move it too much.
"Then you should do it more. If I could go back to being out there on the field, I-" he stopped suddenly, moaning a little and stretching his leg out again, gripping the side of the armchair with all his strength. "Dammit." he cursed and Clarke quickly jumped off the bed and kneeled before him, reaching for his knee but stopping herself mid-air out of fear she may cause him more pain. She waited for the bout to pass and when he relaxed against the armchair again, she looked at him and asked carefully.
"Can I see?" he grit his teeth again and wanted to clearly say no but then she added "Please? You're clearly in a lot of pain, I can help."
"I just need some ice that's all." he mumbled but she remained stubbornly staring at him and he sighed, letting go of his knee and giving her a nod that she could take off his brace and pull his pant leg up.
It was just now that she was closer to him that she noticed his whole left side was a bit crooked, his shoulder fell down a little and his elbow appeared not being able to fully make his arm bent.
She focused on taking care of him now though, feeling like some part of her was suddenly alive in a way it hasn't in years. He wore old black working pants that were too big for him and had more than one stitch. Once she pulled them up, she had to force herself not to gasp-his leg was covered in scars all over with the biggest one starting from his knee and going all the way down to his ankle.
It wasn't just that one, though-there were many smaller ones, marring his whole leg, covering almost every part of his skin. Once she got over the initial shock of seeing that, she reminded herself to just be calm and realized that it wasn't just his knee that was pretty red and swollen but also his ankle. She covered his kneecap with her gloved hand and felt it throbbing under it before looking up.
His cheeks were burning red and he had turned his head away from her, so that he was staring at Jasper's figure on the bed a little too intently for it to be honest.
"How did that happen?"
"Bomb blew up a bit too close to me. Lots of shrapnel. My whole left side..." he gestured with his good hand to his shoulder and side, lifting his shirt up a little to show the scars on his ribs that made Clarke want to violently hurt whoever did this to him-a feeling she wasn't supposed to have at all. "I'm deaf with this ear, can barely see on this side." he waved at his face too like it wasn't a big deal "Fucked up shoulder but the leg too the worst of it."
"That needs a lot of PT. You shouldn't be lifting heavy things or staying on it for that long." Bellamy grunted and cursed again when she kept touching it, trying to get the feeling of how bad the situation was.
"I did some PT after all the surgeries but it's too expensive. Now work does all that for me."
"You shouldn't be working at all. Not in this condition. This knee is really bad and the swelling is too much. If it gets worse, you'll need a doctor to fix it."
"I'm fine. Icing it helps." Clarke sighed frustrated, seeing as how she wouldn't win that fight, so she just got on her feet and ordered.
"I'll be right back." she couldn't help but think what an idiot he is for not getting the proper help he needed.
She came back with two bags of frozen peas and corn. First she rummaged in her bag for something and Bellamy tried to relax as she did, feeling like he had already exposed himself to her in a way he hadn't before and saw her pick out a tube out of it and exclaim happily like a kid who just figured out a math problem. Then she got serious again and spilled a lot of the paste on her hand before looking up at him.
"This works as an anti-inflammatory drug. It'll help you feel better and take down the swelling. Then I'll wrap the ice packs around your knee and ankle, okay?" he nodded and watched with interest as she applied the ointment.
At first it hurt just as bad as before but then he relaxed and he figured she wasn't just putting it on but rather very gently massaging him there. He eased up against the armchair and closed his eyes, swallowing hard-the sensation of having her hands press against his skin like this was...too much.
He never admitted it but every night since they started their game of her undressing by the window and him watching her from downstairs, he just couldn't wait to come home and get in the shower, touching himself and thinking about her.
It was all new to him-he had stopped masturbating a while ago only doing it from time to time when he felt himself getting hard which wasn't often. Focusing on the Army, then getting so hurt and spending months at the hospital would do that to you but since coming here and taking this job, meeting Clarke, who at first seemed like the most insufferable person ever but was actually just...sad, the same way he was, made him open up a crack, in a way he didn't expect at all.
He thought how lately he had stopped feeling alltogether until he sat on his truck's hood and looked up at her window. He grew hard then and there but wouldn't touch himself, more as a punishment than anything else-he drove home almost feeling the pain of not touching himself get to him as hard as his knee usually troubled him, then he'd run in his old pathetic home and some nights he couldn't even get to the shower-he'd close the door and slip on the floor, undoing his buckle and shoving his hand in his boxers, taking his big hard dick and closing his eyes, thinking of her.
It made no sense. None at all. He shouldn't be feeling anything for this girl-she was rich and she was trouble. Getting in bed with the future mayor's wife, considering the pull Finn had in this town, was more than dangerous but at the same time he felt like the sadness lingering in his heart was the same as the on in hers...and that pulled him even harder to her.
He felt his dick twich in his pants now but forced his eyes away and mentally scolded himself-he wasn't going to get hard while she was taking care of him now. That'd be too...much. If it got worse later, he'd hide in the bathroom and try to shake it off, but for now he commanded his brain...and dick, to behave and watched as she wroked around his ankle next. When she was done, he felt much better and only winced as she tied the bags around his knee using white medical tape. Then she got a small stool from somewhere and perched his leg up on it, after putting a soft pillow under and commanding him not to move. He looked at her and smiled feeling himself a little dizzy. She noticed that and reached out to pick his chin up.
"Have you eaten anything today?" he tried to think hard about it before she added "Coffee doesn't count."
"Not really, no." he admitted as she flashed a light pen in his eyes, barely getting any movement in his left one just like he said-he was half-deaf, half-blind before her fingers slid to his throat and she pressed them there, checking out his pulse. He was surprised when she took off the stethoscope she had around her neck and commanded him once again "Move up, let me listen to your heart."
"I'm fine." she gave him a face that suggested she won't have it, so he perched up on the armchair and was surprised when she slipped her hand under his shirt and he felt her fingers there. It made his heart almost stop when he realized how close they were.
She was leaning in and he could feel her breath on his slightly sweaty neck. He could tell she was distracted too because she avoided his look yet she forced her hand to move over his chest and pretended to be listening. When she slipped it off and moved around on his back, her nails grazed his ribs just barely and made his stomach jump.
"I could've just taken that shirt off, you know?" he said when he got back to himself but still felt his dick twich in his pants and hoped she wouldn't notice it while her hand moved on his back.
"There's no need for that." she said, voice a bit strained as she moved back and grabbed something else from the bag after putting her stethoscope back on. She was flustered, her cheeks were red but she seemed determined to do a check up on him and before he knew it, she had a BP cuff wrapped around his left arm, pumping it hard while focusing on his hand. That same hand that she imagined half dug in her pussy every night since she first undressed herself by the window.
"Are you sure, I can-"
"I am." she promised and he smiled as he stared at her while she performed her exam. "And I didn't say you could take that leg off the stool. Keep it propped up, you idiot." he kept smiled and obliged her quickly, forcing his other hand to squeeze the armchair's handle as he was afraid that if he let go, he'd want to touch himself and her so badly, he wouldn't be able to stop. It was so weird-he hasn't been that sexually attracted in years yet he went crazy around this girl. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I was just thinking-" he admitted, feeling himself a bit more free when it came to conversing with her since this all first started and he couldn't even explain why.
"What about?" she asked, still focused on the data she was getting from taking his BP and it gave him all the time to marvel at her.
"That if every nurse I've ever met was as twice as pretty as you, I'd go to PT every day." she huffed at that, pretending to be unimpressed as she finally took the cuff off and instead grabbed his wrist in her hand and turned her watch over, counting in his pulse.
"Seriously? That's the best line you've got? I would've expected more of you." he interrupted her exam by twisting his wrist away from her and grabbing her own, forcing her to meet his eyes.
"I can, if you give me the chance." he felt her breath hitch and they stared at each other for a long while-she didn't try to pull away and in one swift motion he would've pushed her to his lap but instead they opted to just stare at each other like this, undress each other with just their looks.
His eyes fell from her lips, to her neck to her breasts and he imagined his mouth there. Meanwhile her own fell from his chest, to his stomach, to his crotch which made his dick twich even more and for the first time since this whole thing started, he didn't try to hide it. In fact, he hoped she saw the small bump in his pants as much as it made him blush.
In that moment, he knew that she was thinking the same thing as him-that she wanted to fuck him, hard and didn't have another care in the world but there was another thought at the back of his head-as insufferable as she first appeared to be, there was this deep, awful sadness in her eyes and it spoke so well to him that it felt like he just ripped his chest wide opened and offered it for her to see, it'd weigh as much as her own did.
She tried to hide it too-the same way he did. Their walls were so high, you could barely peak through them but now...now they were gone and he never thought he'd show that to anyone in the world again, not after the war and what happened to him.
They both felt like this was the wrong place to be eye fucking each other, though. With Jasper on the bed beside them, even if asleep, it was just awfully stupid to be flirting when he had just gotten so hurt and possibly did it to himself and Bellamy knew they should probably just let him be on his own now and give him the time to rest even if he also didn't like the idea of not being by his side and making sure he was alright.
He was a bit torn-he had promised to keep the kid safe, that's why he send everyone away and yet here stood Clarke Griffin, the future mayor's wife, awakening a certain kind of pull inside him that made him certain he'd follow her whenever she needed him right now. He cleared his throat and tried to bring them back to some sort of reality.
"So...what are your conclusions from the exam, doc?" she huffed angrily as she put her stuff away in her medbag and went to check on Jasper as she talked, gently fixing the blanket around him and making sure the blood bag was dripping in the manner she wanted it to.
"Your BP's high and your heart sounds a bit off."
"They found a murmer after the accident. Said I must've either developed it in the Army or have it passed down by someone. I'd assume it's the latter. My mom had a bit of a weak heart herself." that seemed to make her angry because she crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a serious look.
"So you thought not taking your blood pressure meds is a good way to help things, huh?" he smiled and waved his hand.
"I'm fine. I feel a bit lightheaded now and then but it's nothing."
"So if you pass out from a roof and fall on your stupid ass, breaking another bone or limb of yours, you'll just be great, considering how bad your leg already is, that is your way of thinking, huh?" he shrugged and smiled again, pissing her off and making her roll her eyes. "Come on, you need to eat something. Let's go to the kitchen and leave him to rest here. It'll be a while before that blood bag's through."
Bellamy nodded and tried to push himself up on his own but his leg buckled from under him and he felt a little lightheaded, so she didn't hesitate to wrap herself around his good side, have his arm tossed over her shoulders and help him walk slowly. For a minute there, they stared at each other's eyes, their breaths fanning their faces, lips so close, Bellamy knew that if he just leaned a bit lower. Instead she pulled away and he pressed his nose in her head, breathing her in. Clarke's heart jumped in her chest and she pulled his body harder to her side, feeling like this was just such an intimate moment.
It lasted for just a minute before she reminded him they had to keep going and helped him leave the room and head back to the kitchen. He was weak from the blood loss and the strain of walking on that swollen leg but still, he wouldn't let her carry his whole weight and barely leaned into her. When they ended up there, she helped him sit on the small couch they used before for Jasper and the first thing she did was dig a bar of chocolate from somewhere and bring it over to him, opening it up and ordering.
"Eat that! Now!"
"Yes, ma'am." he joked but she glanced at him like she wanted to kick his ass if he opened his mouth to protest again and he just dilligently started eating as he watched her go out and about in the kitchen. First she washed her hands and scrubbed them clean with the sponge, then she took out two plates and opened the fridge.
"How come you live all alone in this big house?"
"I'm not alone. There's Finn." she shivered at the mention of that and he noticed his questions weren't well-received but she still took them.
"He's just never there." Bellamy finished for her as he munched on his chocolate and she shrugged as she took two tupperwares out and opened them up. "No kids?" he asked though if there were any he would've probably noticed by now.
"Couldn't have any." she whispered a bit sadly and he stopped eating, perching up on the couch a little and looking at her sadly.
"I'm sorry." she shook her head like it didn't hurt but he knew it did.
"It's Finn's greatest failure in life. He just can't get over it." she sounded bitter but also...resigned. He wasn't sure what to say next, feeling like perhaps he had been a bit too noisy but she just kept talking "There was no particular reason it couldn't happen...I just lost them early on. Doctors say we're both fine, that perhaps I should just lean off the stress of it all. That's why he didn't want me to work anymore."
"So you stopped being a nurse so you could get pregnant?" she nodded "He made you give up what you love?"
"I guess. I also gave it up myself over time. I hadn't done anything remotely connected to medicine in years before today. I've forgotten how good it felt." he put the chocolate aside and reached to rub his knee. Despite having the ice packs there, he still hurt yet it was less than it had been before.
"And do you...want kids?" he asked next hoping like he wasn't prying too much. It was weird how it felt to him as if they've known each other for years but he was comfortable being in her presense and he felt that so was she.
"I'm not sure..." she stopped her work for a moment. He noticed she had put some sort of meal in the plates and was going to warm it up in the microwave but for now she just leaned on the counter. "I don't think I do, at least not right now. I know it sounds strange-"
"It doesn't." he assured and she met his eyes for the first time since that conversation started, making him feel again like they were baring each other's souls right there, in the middle of her enormous kitchen that was bigger than his living room and bedroom combined. Clarke smiled and nodded gratefully.
"Thank you for saying this."
"Of course." he promised and she put the first plate in the microwave.
"Doesn't stop Finn from trying though." she added when she pulled it out and got the next one in, turning around to bring out two beers from the fridge. She said it casually and it took him a moment to understand what she meant but when he did and it dawned on him, his jaw hung a bit and he pushed himself up on the couch, so he could sit straighter.
"You mean he's...he still wants you to have a baby?" she humms in the same nonchalant manner as she comes by with the food and puts it on the small round coffee table that was standing on his left, dragging it before them without spilling anything while discussing the subject as if nothing was wrong with it when it made Bellamy fume on the inside.
"I don't really want to talk about that." she added when he was about to open his mouth and ask if Finn was doing something that perhaps he shouldn't be but her sentence brought him back to reality and made him remember that this, whatever relationship they were having, was none of his business. Yet he couldn't help but hate the fact that she seemed so calm and resigned about it.
Bellamy watched her pick up her plate and start eating with enthusiasm that made him smile. She inhaled her food and he loved that she enjoyed it so much-all the girls he's been out with before paced themselves whenever they went out together for dinner but Clarke wasn't like that and he loved it. In all honesty, he could sit back and watch her eat all night and not get tired of it-it was a rather beautiful affair, just like her.
"What?" she said when she noticed he was staring at her.
"Nothing." he shrugged innocently and she didn't feel self-conscious one bit about the fact that she was almost halfway through her plate.
"Well then you better start eating too cause you're making me nervous."
"I'm not really that hungry." she gave him a deadly look at that comment and he picked up his plate "But I will definitely try this."
"That's what I thought." she sing-songed satisfied and he chuckled at her behavior. The meal was tasty-there was some rice and pork in it with broccoli, carrots and peas in it.
"It's quite good. Did you cook it?" she laughed at that as she scooped the last of her meal and picked up her beer, perching up her legs on the edge of the table and chugging a big sip from it.
"I can't cook for shit. Maya does everything and I must say she's quite good at it." he hummed and ate a few more bites before putting it aside and picking up his beer himself, opening it in one swift motion that made his bicep contract and Clarke felt her pussy weak for him again. She noticed a tattoo on it and reached out to touch his sleeve and push it up while he drank from his bottle.
"What's that?"
"My team's coat of arms." he pulled it up and revealed a dog with the flag under and a trident perching from behind his head. She traced it with her fingers and he felt his breath hitch again-she was torturing him and it was driving him nuts.
"This is great work."
"Thanks, my sister's boyfriend is a great artist. He did it for me." she hummed and pulled closer, continuing to drag her finger over it "Do you draw?" she looked up at him surprised "I just noticed a few sketchbooks in the kitchen when we came in."
"I love it." she admitted "Used to want to go to art school."
"Why didn't you?" she shrugged and looked down at their hands that were so close to each other that all she wanted to do was take his fingers in hers and never let go of them.
"I don't know...mom wanted me to go to medschool and I did grow to love being a nurse."
"But your true passion is drawing?" she hummed and he picked up her chin with his hand, putting their faces really close to each other again. "You should keep up with it."
"I only started drawing again recently." she didn't tell him it had all to do with him but judging by the cocky smile he got on his face, he read right through her.
"Oh yeah? Was there any reason why?"
"I got inspired again." she admitted and decided to tease him as she pushed closer and now their noses touched while her hand reached over to his middle where she put the stethoscope earlier. He reached to put his beer aside and take his leg off the table too, coming in even closer to her. Two could play this game and she was intent to show him that.
"By what?" he asked and she smiled as she snuck her hand under his shirt for a brief moment and grazing his ribs with her nails. His stomach jumped, so did his dick in his pants that were getting really thight for him.
"I have no idea." she said innocently as she pulled away and made his breath hitch again. "What about you? Any passions?" she picked up the plates from the table and went to the sink where she threw away whatever was left in them and turned the water on. Bellamy wasn't stupid-he understood the signs clearly, she wanted this as much as he did and they were simply fooling around right now, playing their game.
He got on his feet and limped to the counter where he leaned on it from behind and trapped her so that she couldn't move. He leaned into her ear and whispered.
"War. I've always been good at it." he admitted. Her breath hitched and she dropped the plate she was holding as the water kept beating on it. When he pushed a bit harder from behind her, rubbing his half-hard dick against her butt, she gasped and he reached to tuck a strand of hair fallen on her cheek, behind her ear. "That and...history. Writing. I like that."
"So you're a writer?"
"Used to be. Overtime I just got better at holding a rifle as I said. Some people may find it to be fucked up but..." he let his hand fall to her side and he quickly snuck it under her arm, so he'd be able to cup her breasto over her thin shirt and make her move on her toes and press hard against his body.
"It isn't." she looked back at him and he smiled at her as he looked down on her. With his good hand he reached out and turned the tap off, then he placed it on her lower stomach, close to her crotch and pushed her harder against his body, rubbing his dick up and down her crack a little without breaking eye-contact with her. "Maybe you should pick it up again." she offered, gasping for it. Her hand flew to his wrist, desperate to hold onto something and he just smiled devilishly again. She hadn't felt that hot and aroused in...maybe ever, she was already pathetically dripping in her panties, so bad, she just wanted to touch herself and his cock pressing against the crack of her ass made it worse despite the fact that it was all happening with their clothes on.
"I don't know...I found a new hobby lately. I think you and I share it." he whispered as his other hand worked to find her nipple and pinch it between his fingers while his other hand went lower to cup her crotch through her jeans. She wasn't sure if he could feel the wetness there already but his eyes widened a little which meant he probably could.
"What's that?"
"Undressing at the window every night and making me go crazy about you." he whispered before he finally leaned down and kissed her. Clarke lost any ground she had and almost collapsed in his arms-this felt like nothing she's ever done. His lips were so soft against hers and his tongue didn't just move uncomfortably in her mouth, desperate to do something like Finn's did, no...he just kissed her slowly, wanted to become one with her and allowed her the chance to also take charge if she wanted, which she did. She gasped in his mouth and covered his hand with hers down at her crotch making it rub up and down her desperate pussy.
He smiled as he kept kissing her before finally pulling away just long enough so he could turn her around and pull her up on the counter reaching out to tug her shorts and panties off in one go. When he saw her glistening, dripping pussy before him, his mouth hung and she blushed, feeling ashamed of herself.
"Fuck..." he looked back at her and when he didn't meet her eyes, he tilted her head to him and stood between her legs, kissing her softly yet again "You're so beautiful"
"I'm not."
"Yes, you are." he insisted and kissed her again. He seemed so taken aback by her that it surprised her and when he stopped and leaned on her shoulder, gently kissing the skin there just so he could get some sort of grip on reality, she was confused. Did he really find her pretty?
"Can I...can I taste you?" she wasn't used to being asked anything, so for a minute there she didn't know what to say "I won't if you don't want me to. We can just fuck the good old fashion way or I can finger you but I'd love to...just taste you first?"
"Y-yeah....you can." she said a little shaky and he pulled away, furrowing his eyebrows at her just a bit as he held onto her chin and forced her to meet his eyes.
"Are you sure you want to do this? We can stop now before it's gotten too late."
"I don't want to stop." she said with determination and he waited another few seconds, just in case she changed her mind before nodding and pressing her to lay dowon the cold black marble counter.
"Then try to relax. I may take my time." he smiled a little and just before he started lowering himself she gripped his shoulder and stopped him.
"I still want you inside of me...please." he smiled.
"Don't worry, beautiful. We'll get there too." she smiled back a little and felt him press her against the counter once more.
She lay down and expected him to dig right at it, bury his face in her pussy and suck her dry but instead he surprised her by stopping at her middle, by her stomach and lifting her shirt up just to kiss her there. She had always been self-conscious about her body especially since Finn kept making small comments about her weight since all their failed attempts.
Clarke hated herself and everything about her stomach but Bellamy kissed it like it was the most beautiful sight in the world. She was surprised when he mumbled a quiet "So pretty" and spent a good ten minutes just kissing the soft skin around her belly button while his hand moved up to cup her breast again.
She wore a sports bra at home and she had no idea how he knew what to do but he pulled her strip down and took her right breast out of it just so he could play with that. Meanwhile she just couldn't handle all the tension and felt herself dripping so hard that she had to wrap her legs around his torso for some sort of support. He chuckled, not at all feeling bad about taking his time and even snuck from under her shirt to suck on her breast and wrap his lips around her nipple. Clarke hissed and gripped his hair in her hands, find it to be so soft.
"Bellamy, won't you just..."
"I told you that I'm taking my time, princess."
"You could at least get that shirt off."
"No, I quite like it this way. We'll pull it off later." he promised before finally letting go of her nipple and moving ower again this time getting to her pussy. He smiled at first when he just took the time to look at her and she perched herself on her elbow while his fingers dug in the tatch of hair she left on her pussy, refusing to shave just to piss Finn off and hoping that would drive him mad.
"Sorry, I uh..." she tried apologizing again but he shook his head and moved to push her back down and leaning over to kiss her again.
"Stop apologizing. This is perfect." he whispered softly, making her whole body reverbarate with his voice "I love it." she relaxed at his words and he smiled again before going back down and spreading her legs again. She knew he couldn't kneel down, the counter was right high and for a minute there she wondered if this would make his leg worse but she lost all ability to form any coherent thought when he buried his face in her pussy.
She immideately arched her back and he kept her in place by keeping her leg apart with one hand. The other, he used to dig in her while his tongue licked her expertly. Two of his fingers made it inside of her and pumped her lazily while his tongue sucked on the soft skin of her thigh and licked the wetness coming out of her. It was so good that she wasn't sure how much of it she could actually take but she tried to just close her eyes and feel him do that. It was great because he didn't use just his tongue but his fingers too and slowly built her up to her climax.
What she loved about it was how he managed to be both gentle and a little rough as he worked on her, making her gasp a little louder than usually. She was quiet in bed, never even hearing her own voice and for a moment she worried Jasper may hear them but then she remembered the kid had lost a lot of blood and was passed out so bad, it was doubtful he'd wake up for another two or three hours or even till morning.
He sucked her so well and at the same time she couldn't help but keep getting more and more wet in a way she has never done before. With Finn things usually happened in just a few minutes and then they were over. Now Bellamy was prolonging her orgasm and keeping it all in his hands while giving her pleasure at the same time.
Was this what it meant to be fucked properly? And he wasn't even inside of her yet.
"Bellamy-" she begged for release when she felt he brought her to the edge several times but then pulled back and he squeezed her thigh in confirmation that he understood what she needed and he was going to give it to her.
He snuck not one or two but three of his fingers inside of her and moved his lips to wrap around her clit and suck on it gently. That was more than enough to bring her over the edge and in just a few strokes, she was done for, coming in so hard, she felt like she was pooling and making a mess all over the counter. She couldn't breathe-it was too much and so goddamn amazing at the same, she has never felt like that before, never cum like that in her life. She felt her pussy contract and keep pushing wetness out of her, making it hard for her to calm down her racing heart and breath.
Bellamy remained in place and when she managed to briefly move her head up and look down at him, he was grinning like a child as she watched her pussy.
"Bellamy..." she moaned and he moved up to face her and push her back down.
"It's okay, don't worry, everything's fine." he promised and kissed the corner of her lips.
"I can't...uh...I won't stop-"
"That's fine, it'll calm down in a minute, let me clean you up and take you to bed." he promised and moved over to kiss her once more. She felt suddenly so weak and exhausted that she barely kissed him back, still living in the bliss of the joy he had given her. She felt his rock hard chest press against her sensitive nipples and that made her hiss while at the same time his crotch touched her center. "Shit, sorry-" he pulled away "Didn't mean to bring you pain."
"It's not...painful...it's uh...it's amazing." she said looking like a drunken kid. He chuckled and kissed her cheek again. In all honesty, he hadn't expect to bring her that badly over the edge and have her spill so much but he couldn't say he wasn't a little proud of himself that he did. Then again that just made him a bit sad too as it meant she had never truly been satisfied in her life and that stupid idiot Finn had absolutely no idea how to treat that woman. "I just feel a bit..."
"Sensitive." he finished for her and he nodded "That's alright, I'll take care of you, just tell me where I can take you." she kept smiling and he looked down on her, finding her pussy still cumming, now wetting not just the counter but his jeans too. He felt his dick so hard that he needed to touch it to get some sort of release himself but decided he'll do that later-right now she was the priority "Upstairs or-"
"No-" she argued a little more feverntly than she intended but he waited patiently for her to decide what she needed "The guest room I showed you earlier...the one opposite of Jasper's." Bellamy nodded and smiled again as he leaned down to kiss her once more.
Then he picked up a clean towel he found in the bottom drawer, wet it on the sink and cleaned her crotch and tights carefully. She kept cumming though not as strong as before but definitely seemed very sensitive since she hissed every time he swiped the towel over her skin and he felt bad and guilty for doing this to her. He must've really put her through a lot considering the fact that she must've not had a good orgasm like that in a while.
The more he cleaned her, the better she felt, though and her breathing got a little less laboured.