Chapter Text
“Alex Claremont-Diaz is known for quite literally everything. He was recognized nationally for lacrosse, which doesn’t even have a league. He’s excellent with kids, as seen from his many appearances at the Okonjo Foundation in New York and Texas (it was so incredibly hard to get one in Texas), and he’s a fantastic poet (his poetry book sells in unimaginable numbers). He’s also extremely attractive; just ask Nora, Lily, Angel, or- you get the point. Alex is like a God to all of his fans. The Twitter fan wars where his fans compete in how long they’ve been interested in a man who doesn’t even know them, although he does make an effort to know them. He’s objectively perfect in every way-”
He makes Nora turn off whatever weird YouTube video that was because what the hell?! Contrary to many of his fan's beliefs, Alex is pretty shy about people publicly drooling over him. Sure, he loves a good ego boost, but not whole YouTube commentary videos where people place him on a pedestal he does not deserve. After all, he is human, and God does he make a lot of mistakes.
“Oh, come on, Alejandro, that one was funny.” Nora scoffs at his inability to sit through a video like that. Nora, his ex-girlfriend turned best friend now actively pursuing his older sister. “It was not funny, Nora; you know that kinda stuff weirds me out.” It does really weird him out, but Nora never cares. Like now how her head is resting on his lap, and she’s giggling over his covert shyness. They may no longer be together, but physical touch is their love language, so he doesn’t mind her being close.
“Would it be weird if I played in your hair?” He asks, genuinely curious; it’s not like they’re traditional exes but consent. Nora squirms a bit and sighs out a no. He looks down at her with a perked eyebrow as if asking if that no was permission. Nora sighs again, this time with a nod. So he puts one of his hands in her thick curls and massages them together. They are best friends through and through. Nora knows Alex like the back of her hand. Nora knows every slight movement, eye roll, tone and pitch of anything he vocalizes. He loves her for it.
Alex has never had many friends, not even when he was a popular lacrosse jock, and especially not now when he writes sexually explicit and gut-wrenching poetry. Nora gets to read it all before he sends it to his publisher, Zahra, and she makes up more than half of his oeuvre. He would never admit it to her, but she has always been his muse; in fact, she was the one who inspired what he writes next to June, of course.
The two of them lay there together, Nora scrolling through her feed, showing Alex every funny video on her Instagram reels (it’s every video). In times like this, he’s lucky to have kept his private life so private because others haven’t been so lucky. For instance, Henry Fox. Probably one of Alex’s biggest inspirations currently. Henry is a fellow poet but also dabbles in novels and historical writing. For a white guy, he’s pretty socially aware, and Alex can applaud him for that; basic allyship is hard to come by.
Henry was ruthlessly outed to the public by his equally as successful brother, Philip. He’s the CEO of a “major” British fashion brand. It’s no Fendi or Prada, but he’s sure Philip wishes it were. The only heart he has is when it comes to his wife Martha, hence the brand name, Muffy CO . It’s almost odd how white people can look past politics for each other. Martha has posted in favor of Queer youth safety for ages before her relationship with Philip went public. Performative activism is a bitch.
Alex only knows all this because all of these people are nepo babies. Alex and June had to work for their success, and their names are still tied together. For a while, the two almost wanted to take a last name each and just go by that. Neither of them had the heart to get rid of their Mexican heritage and would never ask the other to do it, so they decided to deal with being siblings in somewhat of an industry.
Martha is the daughter of two successful actors, and although she didn’t follow in their footsteps, she still has over three million followers on every social media platform.
So he immensely enjoys his relatively quiet life, even if it comes with some stalker-obsessed fans. It isn’t much of a secret that Alex is conventionally attractive and open to both gals and guys. When his book ‘Pride Prize’ dropped, the media went crazy, and he appreciated he got to determine how he came out as a proud bisexual.
He and Nora still scrolling through their feed when she props herself up with a hand on his lap. “First, June says hi and that she misses you. Second, did you see the sexy pic Foxy just posted?” Alex rolls his eyes at Nora’s nickname for Henry. Not that he knows him personally, but June sort of does, and he finds Henry incredibly attractive.
“Nora, he’s a grown-ass man.” She shrugs and pushes herself entirely off of Alex’s lap. They’re still touching, of course, because of the whole best friend thing. “He’s also super gay, and there's no way he hasn’t ever been called foxy. Gay and attractive Diaz.” She gets up and walks toward the kitchen.
Alex opted for a small two-bedroom apartment. One room is his, and the other is his office, which can be converted into a guest room. Really, it’s June and Nora’s room when they stay over, but he also likes writing in a room that’s not his own. It always produces a better outcome.
“Just cause he’s gay, Nora doesn’t mean he likes being called ‘Foxy.’” He takes the free couch space as an opportunity to spread his legs out. His leg hair somehow gets caught on the couch as he stretches his legs out against it. He should really trim. Nora gives a “be real” look, which he promptly ignores. “Isn’t he gonna be there at that fancy book convention with you and June?”
The book convention in question is just where a few authors come together in the New York Public Library to have a Q&A about their latest projects; sometimes, they talk about old ones if the audience cares to know. Alex has learned that it’s usually fifty-fifty. But yes, Henry will be there, and he can’t stop stress texting June about it. “Yeah, he’ll be there, why? Wanna be my plus one?” He smirked and watched Nora strutting through the kitchen, finding a spoon to stir her coffee with. “Already your sisters bud!” She sasses back and turns her attention back to the cup of coffee. She didn’t even offer Alex a cup, never mind that this is his place, and technically, he should be hosting. She knows how much he loves coffee.
A comfortable silence fills the room, and Alex returns to being buried in his phone. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t excited to meet the Henry Fox in person. He’s probably read ‘Boys Don’t Cry’ over ten times—each poem resonating deeply in his bones.
Alex didn’t always want to write—his writing for a living still shocks him. He started off being profoundly into politics. His parents were amazing in their prime, but the less they were around, the more his passion for it died. June shouldn’t have had to raise him. That’s most likely why he’s always struggled to make friends. Amid his parents’ divorce, he threw himself into anything he could. His parents, of course, never noticed, but June had. June always noticed. So, he didn’t have time for friends on top of distractions. But June always pushed.
When he would come home late just to bury himself in more work, she’d be there with leftovers from the dinner she cooked and probably ate alone. She held him when he stretched himself thin and broke down. June slept with him when he pushed everyone away after his dad left. There was never a moment where he doubted her love for him, unlike the countless times he felt he would never be enough for his parents.
Ellen and Oscar loved their kids, but love was never enough. Not when Alex was excited to tell them about something, and they would be too busy to acknowledge him. Or when he was proud of himself, they always made him feel like he should have done better. It wasn’t like they were never there; at least, they had been before they started to fight. June tried her best to distract him from it, but he knew. She was the one who eventually dragged him to get evaluated. Turns out he had crippling anxiety and ADHD, which went untreated for most of his adolescence.
Then, because of June, he knew he wanted to help people just like she helped him. So, he tried his hand at being a lawyer. He loved it, but it only enabled his habit of never taking time for himself. And while that was okay for him, June and Nora staged an intervention after he went completely ghost for almost two weeks. When they finally got their way into his apartment and found him pale and passed out on the living room floor, he knew he needed a change. So he quit.
He rather struggled to find a new interest, a new career. June let him move in with her when he fell on hard times on the condition he would see a therapist and find a hobby. All Alex really knew was his competitive nature. Lacrosse wouldn’t pay, and debating was basically being a lawyer he could not return to. So he tried baking, which he learned to love, but it never stuck. Then he tried ice hockey; he was terrible and hated the damn cold. Then, his therapist suggested he start journaling to get all of his pent-up emotions out. He quite enjoyed journaling, which prompted June to introduce him to poetry. That’s how he discovered Henry, and upon reading ‘Boys Don’t Cry’ something clicked. Five years later, he’s published four books and is working on a fifth.
He never knew that something as simple as writing would have made him the man he is today.
*********
“Baby brother!” June yells out from the front door. She has an emergency key to his place, which she never uses in emergencies.
“Why do you never knock bug?” He asks as if he doesn’t know the answer, placing his computer down and walking towards the living room. “I don’t have to knock if I have a key, Alex.” She waves the key before him after setting down a few groceries she picked up. Alex did not ask her to get him groceries.
“Bug, why’d you get me groceries?” She ignores him and makes her way past him, putting what she bought up. Instead of asking again or making a deal out of it, he helps her. That’s the thing about June: she does without thinking. Her love for him is a no-brainer, just like his love for her. “Y’know, our event is coming up. Have you thought about what you’ll wear?” He chuckles at the slight teasing tone she has in her voice. He can’t help if he has a slight crush on the man who made him want to write in the first place.
“I was actually gonna ask for your help. You’re better at this stuff than I am.”
“Well, it's a good thing I came over then.” She boops his nose and puts up the last of the groceries.
This is them—their relationship. Alex will never understand how he got so lucky to have a built-in best friend, especially now that neither talks to their parents. June checks in with them sometimes, mostly their dad—June has never gotten along with their mother. He appreciates everything she does for him. He’s even luckier that his best friend is practically going out with her. No, it’s not weird that Nora is his ex; they only dated for three months when he was eighteen. He’s nearly thirty now.
“I love it when you come over; I'm surprised Nora isn’t with you, though.” They reach the couch, and June reaches for the remote, probably to turn on their new favorite show. “She had to work. Do you ever read your text?”
“You should know by now that I don’t bug.”
She nudges his arm and lays her head on his shoulder. He may not have a lot of friends or even a good relationship with his family, but it’s times like these when he realizes he doesn’t need all that. He has June, he has Nora, and he has his poetry. Truthfully, this is all he needs to be content.
*******
He was totally freaking out. Okay, so maybe his crush was more central than he thought. Seeing Henry in person was like a dream; he hadn’t even met the man yet. June graciously helped him find an outfit that “accentuates” his features, as she put it. He wanted to get ready with her and Nora, but Nora was working later than she thought, so they promised to meet him there.
June picked out a loosely fit, periwinkle button-up. Alex never buttons them all the way up. He debated it this time but thought he’d have a better chance at grabbing Henry’s attention if he left the top two unbuttoned. She paired it with black, slim-fit jeans that hugged his ass pretty nicely. It was up to him to accessorize, though, so he put on the bracelet June got him for his twenty-fifth birthday and the watch he’d worn since he was a freshman in college.
Of course, he wore his key to his family home in Texas. He may not have a good relationship with his parents now, but he likes to wear it to remember what life was like before. He misses them more than he’d like to admit, but he can’t bring himself to reach out; he’s not there yet.
Putting on his white shoes, he grabs a black blazer and heads out. His anxiety really settling in now. Alex doesn’t know what it’s like to feel special anymore. Of course, June and Nora tried, but he couldn’t help but be lonely.
Surprisingly, he’s only dated four people in his entire life. Nora, which was never gonna work out; they were always better as just friends, best friends. Most of his exes after her were uncomfortable that he was still friends with her, but it was never like that. Alex didn’t have the heart to cheat, and he’s seen what it’s like when a relationship grows stale and bitter.
After Nora, Alex had a sexuality crisis. His high school best friend Liam attended UT Austin with him. They were inseparable when they reconnected, and Alex found himself feeling things. Then, one night, they got drunk and hooked up; when he woke up the following day, Liam was nowhere to be found. He tried texting and calling, but it became apparent that Liam was avoiding him. He stopped seeing him around campus, and Alex could’ve sworn he got blocked. He didn’t know what he did wrong and felt…insecure. Maybe Alex was so terrible in bed that Liam wanted nothing to do with him. Or maybe Alex had found a way to fuck things up like he always seemed to do. Eventually, Liam reached out and apologized for leaving him high and dry like that. Apparently, he was under the impression Alex was straight and got scared. He left before Alex could even figure out how he wanted Liam, and although it hurt and he was almost one hundred percent sure he had feelings for him, he understood.
Alex refused to label himself for some time and found himself only hooking up with women. Some part of him thinks that his first experience was so traumatic that his body wanted to convince him that he was actually straight. That was until he met Angel. Alex was enamored by him the moment they met. There was something about Angel that just…captivated him. It didn’t take long for them to make it official, and he’s the first person he introduced to June. Alex thought for a while that this was his forever until Angel started distancing himself. He stopped returning calls, took hours to text back, and always had an excuse to reschedule plans. Alex wasn’t dumb, but in love, so he let all the toxic behavior go unnoticed. Then he got a text, nearly two years into their relationship, that Angel was done. Long story short, he said Alex had become too much for him. He remembers crying to June, laying in bed with her while she stroked his head.
He barely ate for weeks and threw himself into his studies. June was worried but didn’t push too much. At the end of the day, Alex would always return home and let her care for him. At least he would never be too much for his sister.
Then there was Lily, probably the most beautiful girl Alex had seen. She was his co-worker at the law firm they worked at. She actually pursued Alex, asking him to join her for lunch one day. She had beautiful strawberry blonde curls and olive skin, so Alex called her his strawberry shortcake. They bonded over being bisexual and having an estranged family. He’s unsure if they ever fell in love, but Lily took a job offer in Canada and decided it would be best if they stopped seeing each other. Alex disagreed but was used to not being fought for; his parents didn’t, so why would some girl he was dating?
Instead of falling out this time, he went to therapy and quit his job.
The most recent was Logan, he met her at a queer nightclub, and they hit it off instantly. They hooked up more than a few times, but she decided she couldn’t see herself with Alex. He talked a lot and had a lot of internal battles she felt he had to work through. One day, she blocked him, and that was the end of it.
He didn’t understand why he was never enough or always too much. He didn’t understand why creating and keeping meaningful relationships was so hard for him. June and Nora could go out and have fun, make friends, and enjoy life, but Alex felt stuck.
He was going into this event with high hopes that maybe Henry would be interested, but he wasn’t sure how much a posh British white man could be interested in him. June and Nora would be there, though, so he knew he’d be alright.
*******
So Henry is an ass. He doesn’t know what June likes about him or what he did, to be completely fucking honest.
June’s been trying to calm him down for the past hour but Nora thinks it’s hilarious. Alex does not. Here he was getting on his fans for putting him on a pedestal when he did the exact same thing.
Fuck, all he wanted was a friend.
Upon arriving at the event he was nervous. Nora grabbed him a cocktail from a server who was trailing around the room. “Relax Al, you belong here just as much as anyone else.” That was somewhat reassuring but Alex had only been writing for a few years, unlike most of the people attending.
June was on his left, holding onto his arm tight. Nora to his right. He truly doesn’t know where he’d be without them. “Just remember you’re charming and everyone loves you.” Nora exclaims, pulling off his arm and grabbing onto his sisters. “I am taking my girlfriend to mingle, we’ll be right over there if you need us.”
“Come by if you need us hermanito.” June flashes him a smile before being whisked away.
Now he was on his own, scoping out the room. Then his eyes met Henry’s. God was he even more beautiful in person. He noticed Henry was by his lonesome, sipping on a drink, unironically lifting out his pinky. Be social, be charming. You are a grown ass man. He thought to himself before gingerly making his way over to Henry.
Approaching Henry, he realizes he gets tense, nearly choking on his drink. Alex tried not to read too much into it, after all they don’t know each other and Henry’s probably shy.
He leans up against the tower of drinks behind them and takes a deep breath before opting to speak.
“I’m Alex, it’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. Fox.” He smiles widely, trying to come off as approachable. Instead of getting a hi back or even a head nod, Henry tenses more. Carefully he watches as Henry turns slightly away from him and flushes pink. Setting down his drink he clears his throat. “Ah yes, Mr. Claremont-Diaz.” His body language is still way off.
“Right…well I’m a fan of your work so I thought I’d come say hi. You’re book Boys don’t-‘”
“Let me stop you right there, I really must go. Lovely talking to you, Mr. Diaz.”
Alex nearly tumbles over the damn drink tower. Never in his life had he been met with such blatant disregard. And Mr. Diaz, really? What a dick.
“ITS CLAREMONT-DIAZ PRICK.” Alex manages to yell after the initial shock at Henry’s back.
Some of the room turns to look at him but he couldn’t care less. He can’t believe he worked himself up this entire time, just for Henry to be a world class ass.
Except…he wasn’t expecting such overt rejection to hurt this bad. What was it about him that made people want to run? Was he really that bad? This time he even tamed himself, yet it still wasn’t enough. All he wanted was to make a friend. Have a connection. Step outside his comfort zone. Then again he’s never had an easy time with people and right now, all he wants is his sister.
Stumbling over to June, with tears threatening his eyes, he lets her and Nora know he’s leaving. Not even an hour into the event and he’s already been displaced.
June looks at him with worried eyes and Nora tries to gage what happened, but Alex wouldn’t budge.
“Alex, we’ll come with you. Just let me grab my stuff.”
“Big you don’t have to. This is your event too, plus Nora left work early for this.”
June doesn’t care in the slightest and puts her hands on his cheeks. She cuffs them and looks into his eyes, noticing the fast pace in which his pupils are moving.
“I’m your sister. I don’t care where I am, Alex you are more important. Always.” This time he can’t help but let a few tears fall. Nora realizes it’s serious and rushes to grab their stuff from the front. June pulls him in for a tight hug and runs circles in his back, the way she does anytime he’s distressed.
Nora comes back with everyone’s things and takes Alex’s hand. June smiles at her and nods.
“Let’s go home.” She whispers. Alex knows that means back to his place. “I’ll pick my car up from
here tomorrow.” Nora hums and guides the siblings out of the event. She grips his hand extra tight.
Nora and June. June and Nora. They are possibly the only people Alex needs in his life. Forget Henry Fucking Fox. He’ll be okay.
He makes a mental note to push up his next therapy appointment.
Alexander Gabriel Claremont-Diaz you will always be too much.