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your touch hurts but god i crave the pain

Summary:

You're an underground pro hero with a quirk that gives you information about the quirks of anyone you touch. It makes you invaluable as a hero, but has wrecked all of your relationships, to the point where you hate the thought of touching people for fear of them hating you. Unfortunately, you'd been born with Tuller's Syndrome, a disorder that affected only omegas. It made them more susceptible to developing touch starvation, and you were on the worse end of the spectrum.

When your best friend, Shinsou Hitoshi, decides it's time to introduce you to his pack, it sends your life careening in a direction you could never have predicted. Could you let them in, trust them with the truth? Or would your secrets and disorder take you away from them before you had a chance to really live for the first time?

Notes:

Hey what's up, it's me, ya boi. Trying out something a little different with this story. My kinktober stuff had me branching out into writing the students, and I just love poly class 1-a. This will basically be everyone is with everyone to an extent, differences in the various relationships will probably be explored through the story. While the intention and endgoal is reader/everyone, this will probably primarily focus on Shinsou and Bakugo. If other primaries pop up, I will add them to the tags.

Speaking of tags, I can't add custom ones from my phone, so there will be more once I can get to my computer. This author's note may also be updated at that point. Enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

There was a knot of anxiety in your stomach as you followed Hitoshi down the hallway of an apartment building. “What if your friends don't like me?” You whined to him, making him roll his eyes.

“They're gonna like you fine,” he said, his voice deadpan and bored. You knew he wasn't bored though. After two years of being his friend, you'd gotten pretty good at reading him. The relaxed way he held his body, thumbs tucked into his pockets, the way his head tilted back ever so slightly, the slow tap of one of his fingers on his leg. His guard was down, and he was looking forward to the party.

You wished you could share his confidence. Social settings were not your forte. At least, social settings where you weren't playing a character. As an underground hero, with your specific quirk, you were used to putting on an act, playing a more confident, more charming character than you truly were. It wasn't real though. You didn't want to be fake with these people. You wanted them to like you for who you were. And Hitoshi liked you, though you weren't quite sure how it had happened. You'd asked him about it once, why he'd befriended you despite the way he held everyone else at arm's length. He'd said it was because you were like a skittish, stray cat, and he liked both cats and a challenge. You hadn't talked to him for three days after that, until he showed up on your doorstep with donuts and cheap champagne and one of his easy grins.

He didn't even bother knocking on the door he approached, pushing it open and making his way inside like he owned the place. The pair of you paused in the entryway to kick off your shoes, and Hitoshi put a warm hand on your shoulder. Your skin prickled uncomfortably beneath your shirt and you forced down a wince. “Deep breaths,” he said, his smoke and whiskey voice settling you. “I promise, they're gonna love you.” The backs of his fingers brushed your cheek as he pulled his hand away, and despite the slight sting, you let out a relieved sigh. Ever since learning how your quirk worked, he'd always made a point to not flinch away from touching you directly. You returned that respect, always answering his questions without hesitation.

“They're here!” The bright voice came from the blonde man who was launching himself down the hallway and into your best friend's arms.

Hitoshi stumbled back a step, instinctively catching the other man. “You drunk already Kami?” He asked, voice light and teasing.

“No,” the other man said with a pout, but the ruddiness of his cheeks said he'd already had at least a little. He squirmed until Hitoshi set him down and turned towards you with a welcoming grin. “Hey, it's so great to finally meet you,” he said cheerfully, stepping forward. You froze in place, and he stopped immediately, a sheepish look on his face. “Sorry,” he said with a laugh. “Shin told us you don't like being touched.”

Relief washed over you, and you shot Hitoshi a grateful look. “It's nice to meet you,” you said, returning his smile with one of your own. “Hitoshi’s told me a lot about you.”

“All bad,” Hitoshi said dryly, putting his hand on Kaminari's shoulder and steering him further into the apartment. “Everyone here?”

“Yep!” Kaminari chirped. “Everyone except you. Fashionably late as usual.” Your friend snorted at that, glancing back at you as you hung behind slightly. Before he could say anything, you heard a loud crash and shouting, both angry and panicked. The three of you hurried into the living room, to see a broken ping pong table with a red haired man sprawled across it.

“That's the second table you've broken shitty hair!” Shouted a blonde, struggling to pull the larger man off the table. His had been the angry voice. Despite the hard set of his face and the heat in his voice, there was something in his body that said his rage was performative.

“It wasn't my fault, bakubro!” The redhead said, letting himself be pulled to his feet. He was huge, broader and taller than anybody else in the room. It didn't surprise you to hear that this wasn't the first table he'd broken. “Mina dropped her drink and I was just trying to catch it!” Before the blonde could respond, his eyes turned towards the door, and he grinned broadly. “They're here!” He yelled, and cheers filled the room as several people surged towards you.

You hung back as Hitoshi got tackled again, voices talking over each other in their excitement to see him again. After a minute of this, the blonde from before sauntered over, his eyes locked on you. “Hey extras, you're being fucking rude,” he snapped, and the excited voices cut off into a sharp silence.

Hitoshi stepped back from his friends to put a hand on your shoulder and steer you forward. He introduced you to the group, saying, “And be nice. He's shy.” You glared at him.

“That means fuck off,” the blonde growled, turning to look at the rest of the group. “He'll get to you when he gets to you.” With several more curious looks, the rest of the group drifted off, leaving you alone with him and Hitoshi. “I'm Bakugo Katsuki,” he introduced himself, crossing his arms over his chest. Pro hero Dynamight, known for his arrogance and explosive personality. He was an alpha, like Hitoshi, but despite his public persona, you could see no sign of arrogance in the loose way he held himself. The heat was gone from his voice, but the slight growl remained. It complimented the depth of his voice, and the surprisingly sweet smooth caramel of his scent.

“It's nice to meet you,” you responded, trying to squash down your habit of overanalyzing everybody you met. It served you well as a hero, but not so well as a friend. Judging by Hitoshi’s smirk, you could tell he knew what was going on in your head.

“Let me know if any of these extras bother you,” he said, and you flushed slightly. “I'll set ‘em straight.” With a nod at Hitoshi, he wandered off to help clear the broken pieces of the ping pong table.

“See, not so bad so far, right?” Hitoshi teased.

Your flush deepened. “Oh shut up,” you said without any real heat, and he laughed.

“Come on, let's get you a drink, that'll help you loosen up.” Knowing he was probably right, you let him lead you into the kitchen, where two people were chatting quietly. “This is Todoroki and Yaoyorozu,” he said as the two noticed your entry. He introduced you as you looked the pair over. Pro hero Shouto, son of the former number one, Endeavor. A beta known for being quiet and a little socially awkward. His scent was an intriguing mix of spice and cool mint. He nodded at you, face flat, posture a little stiff, but his eyes were welcoming. You knew somehow that he usually had a stiffness to him, and wasn't one to easily relax.

The woman was pro hero Creati. An alpha who specialized in strategy, her intelligence matched only by her generosity and desire to help the people around her. She smiled at you warmly, saying, “It's good to finally meet you. Shinsou talks about you a lot.” Your eyes darted to the man in question, who was busy making you a drink. You didn't need to see his face to know he was blushing, watching the way his head ducked slightly.

“It's nice to meet you too,” you responded, matching her warm smile with one of your own. There was something about her that put you at ease. A quiet confidence that made her a good leader, someone you could trust to take charge.

Hitoshi pressed a plastic cup into your hand, saying, “Come on, lots more people to meet.” With a wave at the pair, he steered you back towards the living room. “It's a good night for you to meet everyone. It's rare everybody gets a night free at the same time,” he explained, leading you towards another small group chatting on a couch. “Let's start you off easy though.”

He introduced you as the group paused their conversation. One of them, a tall black haired man, jumped to his feet in an instant. “It's good to meet you!” He said, his posture stiff, tone formal. “I'm Tenya Iida!” Pro hero Ingenium, another alpha, brother of the former Ingenium. Another hero who rarely seemed to loosen up, but a good leader, and very good at calming down panicked crowds.

“I'm Midoriya Izuku,” said the next one, a green haired man who really needed no introduction. Pro hero Deku, current number one and Japan's sweetheart. An omega with an almost heady scent of ozone, though his secondary gender was a closely guarded secret. He wasn't wearing his usual scent blockers at the moment, but you weren’t about to let on that you'd already known. There was a flush to his cheeks, one that spoke of intoxication rather than shyness.

The final person in the group waved, saying, “And I'm Uraraka Ochako!” Pro hero Uravity, who excelled both in combat and rescue. Cheerful and friendly, it had been a surprise to everyone when she'd started out as a sidekick to pro hero Gunhead. A beta with a citrus scent almost as bright as her smile.

You said hello to each of them in turn, before Hitoshi said, “We'll make our way back here, gotta introduce him to everyone first.” He directed you away as Iida sat back down and the other two teased the speed hero.

Your head spun as you were introduced around to the rest of the room. Sero Hanta, Cellophane, who had an easy charm, an alpha who stood out amongst most alpha heroes with his lanky build and laid back attitude. Tsuyu Asui, Froppy, who informed you immediately to call her Tsu. The beta was primarily a rescue hero, but having seen her fight, you knew anyone who underestimated her was in for a bad time.

Kyoka Jiro and Tokoyami Fumikage, both betas with a serious demeanor. Ashido Mina, an alpha, who'd just barely stopped herself from giving you a very excited hug. It had made anxiety flutter in your chest, though you'd done a good job of keeping it from your face and scent as she introduced herself.

No matter how well you hid it, Hitoshi knew you too well, and instead of moving to the next person, you were directed back over to the couches. He pushed you down onto the cushion, saying, “Everyone else can just come introduce themselves. I'll get you another drink.” His fingers brushed your hand as he took your cup, the tingle of pain ignored as you smiled at him with relief. He winked and wandered off, letting you settle into your seat.

As if that had been a signal, you heard Uraraka ask, “So you work together with Shinsou?”

You turned towards the group, pulling your legs up onto the couch to get more comfortable. “Yeah,” you answered. “We were part of a larger team for a mission, and we just kind of clicked.” You loosened up a little, glad to be back in familiar territory.

“Do you like being an underground hero?” Midoriya asked, and you nodded.

“Yeah, I don't really like a lot of attention,” you said. Your quirk also made you more suitable for that kind of work, but you didn't say that. That would risk them asking questions about your quirk that you didn't want to answer.

Uraraka winced. “And here you are, the center of attention,” she said. “Sorry about that. We're all just really excited to meet you.”

“Yes, Shinsou has been talking about you for months,” Iida added, and you blushed. “He thinks very highly of you.”

“Who thinks very highly of you?” Shinsou asked as he reappeared, dropping onto the couch and passing you a drink.

“You do, apparently,” you said, lips curling into a grin. “It's almost like you like me or something. That's so embarrassing for you.” You were rewarded for your teasing by another rare blush from the alpha, making you laugh. Leaving him muttering into his own drink, you turned back to Midoriya, asking, “Who's apartment is this?”

“Me, Kaachan, and Shouto,” he answered as Uraraka played with his hair. “We typically have parties here because we have the biggest place.” You could see that. It was bigger than your place certainly, though you knew your apartment was bigger than you needed for just one person. Hitoshi occasionally wondered out loud how you could afford it, but you were very good at dodging questions you didn't want to answer.

You blinked for a moment, before asking, “Wait, which one is Kaachan?” Midoriya blushed while the others laughed.

“It's my nickname for Bakugo,” he explained. “We knew each other growing up, and that's what I always called him.” You smiled at the cute name, turning to look over at the angry blonde, trying to relate the cute nickname to him and failing.

“He looks scary,” Hitoshi drawled. “But don't worry. He's all bark, no bite.”

“Hah?!” You heard, and saw Bakugo stalking over, trailed by the red head. “What'd you say about me, eyebags?”

“He said you're a bitch who couldn't beat him in a fight!” Kaminari shouted from the other side of the room where he was hanging off of Sero. Laughter echoed around the room and explosions crackled in Bakugo's hands.

“Do I look like I have a death wish?” Hitoshi asked, arching an eyebrow. “I'd never say something like that about Bakugo. To his face.” The last was muttered for only you to hear, and you giggled.

This seemed to settle Bakugo enough that the explosions stopped, and you leaned your arms on the back of the couch to turn to him more comfortably. “Don't worry Bakugo,” you said, your voice teasing. “Just last week Toshi was super excited to tell me how cool you were on your team up, and how much he admired your skills.”

Hitoshi spit out his beer and Bakugo's face turned bright red as the room erupted into laughter again. “I told you that in confidence,” he hissed, no small amount of red in his face as well, and you grinned at him.

It didn't take long for Bakugo to recover, sauntering over to the couch and leaning over the back of it between you and Hitoshi. He was so close that you could feel the heat of him, and your skin prickled with discomfort. “So, you think I'm really cool,” he said, in a tone that you could only describe as flirtatious, voice smooth like bourbon. “You admire my skills? I have a different skill set you could admire.” Hitoshi sputtered, practically launching himself off the couch. Bakugo laughed, the sound rolling across your skin in a way that made you tingle, and not with pain for once.

With wide eyes, you turned towards Midoriya, who's lips were curled into a grin. “We tend to be a little flirty with each other,” he said, answering the question on your face.

“Their whole class is a pack,” Hitoshi said, having recovered enough to glare at Bakugo. “They're all very affectionate with each other.” Looking around the room, you could see what he meant. Everybody seemed to be snuggled up to or hanging off of somebody else. “Not me though. I've got nothing to do with all this.”

Midoriya made a wounded noise as Bakugo said, “Yeah, right. You're just as much pack as the rest of these extras.”

This time it was Hitoshi who was fixed with your wide eyed look. “You wanted me to meet your pack?” You asked in a hushed, almost wondrous tone, and the look of panic that crossed your face would have made you laugh had you not felt so emotional.

“It's not as serious as all that,” he muttered down into his beer, flush spreading all the way to the tips of his ears. You cast your eyes around the room of laughing, affectionate heroes and felt a wave of warmth roll through you, followed instantly by a wave of guilt. Hitoshi wanted you to meet his pack, wanted his pack to meet you. Would he still feel that way if he knew that you were lying to him? If he knew what you were keeping from him?

The thought formed a knot in your stomach that persisted through the rest of the party. Other than that it was enjoyable, fun even. Hitoshi’s friends were funny and sweet and welcoming, and more than once you'd made them laugh with stories from your mishaps with Hitoshi. The two of you left the party that night with offers to hang out more and promises of a next time.

“Not so bad, right?” Hitoshi asked with an unusually soft smile. His hand brushed against yours, and you smiled back up at him despite the tingle of pain, worse than before, that skittered across your skin. No, it hadn't been so bad.