Chapter Text
It's not like Dan meant it to happen. But it's Hell. And Lucifer's dominion can get a bit tenuous at times, especially when he's away so much, and for so long. Hell has its own power, its own drive, and it pulls at him in spite of the fact that this cell is supposed to be a torture free zone.
It starts with a pull. Nothing more than an increased awareness of the place that looks like Ella's lab. Then, after his attention is lured in that direction too many times, he thinks he sees her out of the corner of his eye. Hears echoes of her voice. Her breathy moans.
He sits at his desk under the stairs- as much as he's tried moving things around it always seems to revert to this place when he's not looking. Because Hell has it in for him, apparently. He tries resisting the temptation, but there's nothing else to distract him, and he's so very fucking bored. And it's not like things can exactly get worse.
Besides, he's supposed to try all the doors, right?
This one only leads into the lab, though. She's looking into her microscope and humming a happy tune. He feels a smile tugging at his lips for the first time since… well, a long time. She might not be the real Ella, but even a memory of her is comforting. "Hi," he says.
She looks up at him, and it's the oddest feeling. Everything about her face is exactly as he remembers it, even the way she does her makeup, but her smile doesn't have quite the same warmth, and her eyes are somehow… empty. "Hey, Dan. You need something?"
He looks at the photos on the table. It's scenes from the Palmetto case, the one that got him demoted. Ella wasn't even working here then, she doesn't need to see all that. Following the suggestion in his mind, he swipes them back into the folder and goes to stand close beside her. "Just thought I'd come check in on my favourite scientist. Say hi."
She smiles at him, looking up through her eyelashes. Ella would never flirt like that. She was too awkward. She is too awkward. Tenses are hard when you're stuck in never ending purgatory.
"Hi," she says.
"You're not Ella. I know you're not Ella."
"Does it matter?"
"Yeah, actually. Because she and I had an agreement. And I wouldn't want to do anything disrespectful…"
He trails off as she walks her fingers up his chest, then traces along his collar bone. Her hand slides round the back of his neck. "Then it's a good thing that I'm just a demon. You can disrespect me as much as you like."
He can't help but think of Maze and that doesn't seem to make it better. He takes a step back. "How did you even get in here? I thought Lucifer had it locked down. No torture. No torment."
"But you want to be tortured," she says, stepping closer, and closer still every time he inches away. "We can all feel it. Hell feels it. It opened its doors to me. You know you've done bad things and you deserve to pay for them. To suffer for them."
His back is against the desk and there's no room left. She puts her hand down next to his. Close. She's right of course.
"So you want to do this?" he asks. "To me. With me."
"Oh yeah. It's going to be delicious."
He wraps one finger over hers. "Okay then."
***
Afterwards, when he's pulling up his jeans and putting his shirt back on, the regret hits him in the gut and makes him feel sick. What would Ella say if she knew that he'd used her image, her memory, like this?
The demon watches, still sprawled on the table where he took her, and grins wickedly. "Oh, there it is."
"Right," Dan sighs. "Torture."
"Exactly. Sweet, delicious pain. And the best part is, you knew it was coming and yet you did it anyway."
She's right. But the solitude and the boredom are their own kind of torture. It's been forever and even if it's an uncomfortable feeling, at least it's something different. If he were still alive he'd probably be going feral by now in order to cope, but he's a disembodied mind that stubbornly refuses to crack.
This is all he has now. He'll take whatever comfort he can get.
The demon reappears every so often, still looking like Ella. He lets himself take a vacation from the monotony and just feel. A dozen times, a hundred times, he can't keep track any more than he can keep track of the endless days. After a while, he stops feeling bad about it. Ella wouldn't begrudge him this escape.
Then one time, when they're lying on the floor of the lab and he's pretty sure that it's been good for both of them, he takes her in his arms and just holds her, feeling content.
"Ugh," she groans, pulling away, sitting up and grabbing her clothes.
"Demons don't snuggle. Okay got it. Sorry."
"As fun as that was, it's not what I'm here for. Not unexpected though. You've been building up a tolerance for a while now."
"You're still coming back, though, right?" He feels panic rising at the thought of being left alone again.
"I dunno." She pauses, looks at him.
"Doesn't this happen to everyone after a while? They get tortured for so long, they become immune to it? You've got to have a way around that. There's gotta be something else we can try."
"Hmm." She strokes a finger on his lips. "I do like the despair you feel every time I leave."
"I'll do whatever you want."
She scoffs. "I'd bet you'd love that. The classic torture. But I'm taking enough of a risk coming in here. If I caused you any physical damage and the boss found out about it, I'd be in a whole heap of trouble."
"Please," he begs.
The demon leans in, close enough to feel her breath on his lips. "Oh, I like that. That's pure fear. That I can work with. Let's see. You've been abandoned before. Hell can see inside your mind, you know. It can find all those troubled memories and let them play out. Just think about it. The loss. The ending. Close your eyes."
He does what he's told. He remembers the loneliness. He remembers the grief of losing Charlotte. He remembers the night Chloe left to go to her mother's, taking Trixie, taking his world away. He remembers the fear every time Lucifer visits and then leaves again.
"Oh, dear boy, you're exquisite," she breathes, but her voice is different. He chokes on a sob. He never thought he'd hear that voice again. When he opens his eyes, it's Charlotte.
"Don't worry, sweetheart. We've got plenty to work with. I'll be back."
And then she leaves.
***
Dan's working on his issues, just like Lucifer told him. He keeps a list in his notebook of all the things that make him feel bad or guilty and deals with them one at a time, like a series of cases. He sets up a board in the conference room with pictures of the people he's hurt and writes his regrets on post it notes, figuring out the patterns and connections. He starts to understand himself, his weaknesses and temptations, his fears. Slowly, one by one, he learns to forgive his mistakes. Some are easier than others. It's the people closest to him that he's failed the most, and those are the things that it's hardest to let go.
The demon helps, strangely enough. Not intentionally, perhaps, but seeing Chloe's or Charlotte's face helps him to confront his guilt. He lets himself feel it, lets it lose its power. He remembers all that they were to him, all the different moments that they shared, and guilt gives way to love.
Love is the one thing that Hell can't seem to touch. Love becomes his constant, his lifeline. He clings to it so tightly that the demon notices, pulling back from a tender kiss with a look of disgust.
"What's wrong with you? You've been weird lately."
He chuckles to himself. She seems so much like Maze, even though it's Chloe's face that she's wearing today. "What's your name?" he asks, not for the first time.
She shakes her head. "Nah-uh. If you let slip that I was here, I could get into a lot of trouble."
"So you say, but I don't think that's it. You've been coming here for a long time, now. You know exactly the risks you're taking, and you keep coming back. You trust me. Why can't you just tell me your name?"
She looks at him carefully, then sighs and gets off his lap to sit on the desk. "It would spoil the illusion. You start thinking of me as someone else, then you seperate what we're doing from all your conflicted feelings. I need you to keep that little part of you that lets you pretend that it's real."
"So that you can wallow in my shame and self-loathing."
"Exactly," she grins.
"See, thing is, there's been a lot less of that going around lately. I've been doing the work."
"Yeah, but you had so much of it to begin with."
They both laugh.
"I think maybe you like my company," he suggests.
"Well, obviously. It's so much fun to torment you."
"I don't think you're worried about Lucifer at all. I think you're trying not to get too close to me. Emotionally," he adds, before she can turn it into a lewd comment. He puts his hand on her knee. "Which is fine. Boundaries are important. And one day I'll be gone and you'll be-"
"You what now?" she interrupts, incredulous.
He scoffs. "Look, I know it's taking a little longer than expected, but I know there's a way out. I just have to find it."
"What the Hell are you talking about? Nobody gets out of here. Unless…"
"Unless what?"
"There were rumours about an escape a while back. Everyone was in a tizz about it, but it blew over after a while."
"His name was Lee Garner. He found a way to deal with his guilt, and once it was gone, he was free. Lucifer said I shouldn't be here. He said if I can figure out what's keeping me here, then I'll find a door that'll lead me somewhere better."
She stares at him, her face pale, but she doesn't say anything.
"I honestly thought you knew," he breathes.
She swallows. "So that's what you meant by doing the work? You're using me to purge yourself so you can get a ticket to Heaven?"
"No, fuck, it's not like that."
"It better not be. I'm a demon. I don't do shit like that."
His heart twists, because he knows that she's right. He didn't tell her that's what he was doing, how she was helping. He's fucked up all over again. "I'm sorry," he says, but the words aren't enough to ease the bitter feeling in his chest.
He hears her sigh again, but this time there's satisfaction in it. "Sweet, stupid Dan. Still such a tasty little snack."
"There's always going to be something, isn't there? Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm an idiot for hoping."
She sits back on his lap and puts her arms around his shoulders. "It's still Hell, Dan. Time works differently here. It stretches out and loops around back on itself. Unending torment. That's the point of us."
"No. I don't accept that. Maze was my friend, and she was so much more than that. And you're my friend too."
"I'm your torturer," she corrects him.
"So I've got a terrible case of Stokholm syndrome," he laughs. "But you're the best thing I've got in this place. Come on, I've got something to show you."
"Is it your penis? Because I've seen better, you know."
"And you can almost stay in character some days. You should have saved that line for Charlotte, not Chloe."
"Oh, he's fighting back, now. What do you want to show me?"
"This way." He takes her to the conference room.
She seems almost impressed by his display, folding her arms in front of her and nodding in a way that's so very Chloe-like that it's as if he's really back in the precinct working a case with her.
"This is all the stuff you feel guilty about?" She steps closer to the board, reading his notes.
"As much as I've remembered so far. And this here," he points to a scribbled out note next to Ella's picture, "this was the first thing I could cross off the list. Because you helped me resolve it. So, thank you. Even if you didn't mean to help me, I'm still grateful."
Her fingers trace down his lists of sins and she frowns. "You're still looping."
"I'm what?"
Before she can answer they're both startled by loud, quick footsteps. Lucifer wrenches the glass door open and points at the demon. "You take that face off right now!"
The demon mutters a curse word, but changes as ordered. It happens seamlessly, in the blink of an eye; one moment she's Chloe, then the next she's Charlotte again.
"Oh, we're doing the tour of his exes, are we? Shouldn't be too long a list. Stop the games, Belios."
"But boss-"
"Ah-ah-ah!" he waves his finger. "I was very clear that this cell was off the menu. I don't need to hear your excuses."
"Lucifer," Dan interjects, "please. Don't be too hard on her. I needed company, and I was just telling her how much she's been helping."
"You're defending the demon who's come to torture you?"
"Yeah, I guess I am. But I've spent too long alone in this place. And besides… she kinda reminds me of Maze."
Lucifer puts his hands in his pockets and sighs. "Fine. I'll listen."
"Well, you said that it's my guilt that's keeping me here. We've been working through some stuff. With, um," Dan hesitates, then an idea hits him. "With improv."
Lucifer looks back at the demon with a raised brow.
She shrugs. "I admit, at first it was mostly about watching him squirm. But then I got curious, I guess. He kind of grows on you."
"Very well. I suppose that this was originally supposed to be a short term solution. Of course Daniel has to balls that up and take his own sweet time over it. If you can expedite the process before he goes completely bonkers then I have no objections to that. The sooner we get him on his way, the better for all of us."
"Thanks, man," Dan says genuinely. "It means a lot, really. And I do appreciate all you're doing to try to get me out of here."
"Yes. Well." Lucifer gazes back at the board. "Clearly you've got a lot to work on, so I suppose I'd best leave you to it."
Dan takes a step towards him, but then hesitates. "Um… how's Chloe?"
"Sated," he grins, mischievously. "Snoring like a bear and languid as pudding."
"So she's happy?" It's comforting and painful at the same time.
His smile fades just a little. "I'm doing everything in my power to make her so. But she misses you."
"Still?"
"It's not been very long up there."
"How long?"
"Try not to dwell on it. Focus on all this," he waves his long fingers at the pictures and scribbled notes. "Figure it out, Daniel."
"I'm working on it. Really."
Lucifer nods and walks away. Dan's gaze lingers on his back as he leaves. The visits always seem too fleeting. Who knows how long it will seem before he sees that face again?
"Oh, Daniel," Lucifer's voice comes from behind him.
Dan turns, a deep sense of dread building in his stomach. Even though it's not really Lucifer, the memory of his allure is strong enough to make Dan feel things he shouldn't be feeling. He clears his throat. "Um. Belios, right?"
"Oh, no no, darling," the demon saunters towards him, a touch too cocky, too openly flirtatious. "How you've managed to keep that juicy little tidbit to yourself all this time is a mystery."
Dan finds himself backing up again. "I- I don't know what you mean," he stutters.
"Of course you do. So much guilt. So much secret self-flagellation. You've kept those desires buried so deep because you're so ashamed of them."
"That's not… it's not like that. He's Lucifer. He's a friend." His back is against the glass wall. The demon wearing Lucifer's face stops just inches away.
"That's right. He's Lucifer. Charming, handsome, tempting."
"He's always insulting me."
"Maybe he knows that's what you like."
"I don't…" he catches Lucifer's scent as he breathes in to speak, and feels his skin grow warm. "Shit."
"You've been keeping this so tightly repressed but what if that's the secret that's been keeping you here? I think it's a possibility that's worth exploring, don't you?"
Dan licks his lips. "This is such a bad idea."
"It is, isn't it? Do you think I should walk away? I mean, I am dating your ex-wife and all, that's got to be a conflict of interest. I can let you sit and stew in disgust at yourself for a few weeks if that's what you'd prefer… Daniel."
It's the name that makes his heart skip a beat, or at least gives the sensation of doing so.
"Just shut up and kiss me."