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Elliot does not live with her. He has a drawer in her dresser and his suits take as much space in her closet as her blazers do. His fancy coffee maker has become a permanent fixture in her kitchen, and his protein powder sits next to her tea bags. He stays every night he is not working. He drops Noah at school most days and gets him from the studio after he does the groceries on Thursday.
But he does not officially live with her.
He still has his loft in Queens and if he wanted to, he could go there and not sleep at her place. He could. But he definitely doesn’t.
It has been over a year of them . It started with coffee dates in the parks of the city and long talks, turned into dinner dates and long nights in each other’s arms, until they just were together every morning and every night.
But Elliot does not live with her. And yet, most of his things live at her place. His laundry is mixed with her son’s socks and dance gear. His toothbrush is sitting next to hers. His watch lays next to her earrings in her jewelry box every night.
She finds the box when she’s putting his underwear and socks away. His drawer is messy so she grabs a few unused pairs of socks to set them to the side when she feels the heavy weight inside one pair. She drops it inside the drawer and takes a step back startled by the noise it makes. She swallows hard and takes a breath before approaching the drawer slowly, as though whatever is inside the socks is going to attack her.
She reaches for it again and unrolls the socks. It can’t be, she thinks. He wouldn’t be dumb enough to keep this kind of thing in his socks. Except it is a blue velvet box. Her hands are shaking as she opens it to reveal a beautiful diamond ring. The gold band is worn and delicate, the stones unpolished. It’s perfect, she thinks. Three smaller diamonds sparkle on each side of the middle one and she reaches for the compass tucked under her shirt.
The apartment door opens and she hears Noah explaining in great detail this week’s studio drama. She shuts the box closed, rolls the socks back, places everything back, and puts the washed socks on top. She closes the drawer quickly and wipes the unshed tears from her eyes before she joins her boys in the kitchen.
She puts away groceries and starts dinner as Noah keeps talking about his day, but she keeps glancing at Elliot who throws her a few worried looks.
“You okay, Liv?” he finally asks over a shared glass of wine in front of the TV, as she gazes at him and doesn’t pay any attention to the movie playing.
She smiles, eyes shining bright. “Yeah…” She whispers. “Everything is… perfect. I love you, El. I just… I love you,” she adds quietly as she nuzzles into the crook of his neck. “I love you so much.”
He holds her tighter and drops a kiss on her head. “I love you, too.”
~oOo~
She expects the full Valentine’s Day experience. She expects that he made a reservation, that he got her flowers and a cheesy card, even though they both know it’s not them. But after so many years apart, they like to indulge in the traditions and sickly cute festivities.
They spent their first Valentine’s Day apart, both stuck at work. He had managed to get flowers sent to her office, but she had been out at the hospital and then roaming through Harlem for two days looking for a lost boy, and had found the flowers wilted on her desk. She kept the card and saved it in her wallet.
So for their second one, she expects the full experience. Maybe even a ring for dessert. Which she still has not decided she will accept or not.
Noah is going out on his own date, his first one ever and she stays clear of his room through an entire hour of growls and sighs as he picks an outfit. He comes out twice, unconvinced, until he picks the blue shirt Elliot got him for Christmas. One matching both their eyes. He spins in front of her, dark tweed jacked flying a little around him.
“So? How do I look?” he asks both of them.
“Very handsome, baby, so very handsome,” she offers with a teary smile.
“Moooooooom! Don’t call me baby and say I'm handsome in the same sentence! That doesn’t help!” he whines.
Elliot chuckles from the couch. “Blue’s your color, kid. Brings out your eyes. He’s not gonna know what hit him.”
“Thank you, El,” he replies relieved. “ That’s the kind of answer I want.”
Olivia laughs and wraps her arms around her son. “You’re always going to be my baby. No matter what.” She kisses his curls.
“I know…” He sighs as he hugs her back.
He leaves twenty minutes later with Jeremiah and his mom to catch the 7 pm showing.
Olivia turns to Elliot after she bids them goodnight and asks, “Should I get changed?”
He raises his eyes from his phone. “Why? You’re going somewhere?”
“I don’t know. Are we?” She raises an eyebrow.
“Kid-free night and you think I’m taking you out of this apartment?” He chuckles as he gets up. “No way. Only place we are going is to our bed where you’ll be as loud as you want to be.”
She takes a step back as he comes closer to her. “Oh really?” she challenges.
“Hum,” he nods, “and you don’t need to get changed.” He reaches her and places his hands on her hips, settling between her legs as he pushes her against the wall. “You,” he kisses her lips, “don’t,” her jaw, “need,” her neck, “any,” her shoulder, “clothes.” He finishes as he pulls her flush to him.
He grabs her thighs and pulls her up to carry her to their bed. Their lips don’t break as he makes his way through the empty apartment. She’s breathless when he lays her on the bed, his body caging her in. She pulls him back to her with her heels, propulsing his lips back to hers as she rolls under him.
She moans as his hand slips under her shirt to tug it off her. He whimpers when he finds her braless, nipples already peaking. He wets his lips before diving for her breast, kissing and sucking one nipple while his hand is kneading the other.
“Fuck! Baby…” She cries under his touch. Her hips roll to his at the sensation, reaching closer to the bulge of his jeans. “Need more… Need you…” she says out of breath as she grinds against him.
He slides her leggings and panties off in one swift motion before he settles between her legs, kissing the inside of her thighs excruciatingly slow as he comes closer and closer to her core. He closes his lips against her clit and releases it slowly, then drags his tongue through her folds and laps ever so slowly at her. He drinks her in, fucks her with his tongue and she grinds against his nose and bucks her hips as she feels the release ride her nerves. She grips the bed sheets as he dives in for more, keeps working his lips on her sensitive clit to get her to a second wave of pleasure.
He kisses her soft stomach gently, her heart, the valley between her breasts, her neck, and back to her lips. She chuckles as he settles his jean-clad hips in between hers.
“You were right, this is a way better way to spend Valentine’s Day.”
~oOo~
They order pizza and eat it out of the box on the couch. She’s only wearing his NYPD t-shirt and some fresh underwear, he’s shirtless with his joggers lying low on his hips. Their legs are intertwined, the pizza box resting precariously on their limbs.
She’s smiling fondly as she listens to one of his stories from his childhood. They do that now, they talk about the past, good or bad, they talk about it and support each other through the pains and applaud the victories.
His hands draw circles on her calves, sending chills through her spine. She moves the pizza box to the coffee table so she can straddle him. She looks at him, studying his lips, the small wrinkles in the corner of his eyes when he smiles. She runs her thumb on his lips as he holds her firmly against his crotch. She bends forward to kiss him, eliciting a moan from him as she rolls against him.
Suddenly, a loud knock echoes through the room. They ignore it until it becomes a series of loud bangs against her door. She rolls off of him with a whine and he gets up from the couch, ready to kick whoever is interrupting their night.
He opens the door with a frustrated growl but his mood shifts drastically when he comes face to face with Lizzie, eyes red and puffy, wrapped in her mother’s old sweater, on the verge of more tears.
“Baby, what’s going on?” he asks as she runs into his arms.
Lizzie’s sobs echo through the hallway as he closes the door behind her. He leads her to the living room where Olivia stands quickly from the couch, a matching worried look on her face.
It takes them twenty minutes to get the full story of her breakup from the day before. How her girlfriend texted her that they were done and that she’d pick up the few things she owned at Lizzie’s the next day. How on Valentine’s Day of all days, she’d had to watch her ex-girlfriend grab the three shirts, two pairs of jeans, and five sweatshirts from her closet. How she had watched her leave from her window, only to find her kissing another girl on the stoop. The shock and heartbreak had turned to anger and more heartbreak then, leaving her in tears for most of the day until she’d had enough of her empty lonely, and deadly silent apartment and she had decided to go home to her dad.
When she is done telling them, in between sobs and blowing her nose, Olivia holds her hand and squeezes softly, while Elliot holds her in a bear hug.
When she finally lets go of them and composes herself a little she looks at them, actually looks at them, and blushes a furious red instantly.
“Oh my god. I’m so sorry,” she starts as she looks between Olivia’s naked legs and her father’s shirtless chest. “I should leave, I’m interrupting your guy’s…activities,” she adds as she gets up and tries to leave.
“No, honey, don’t. Stay. You didn’t interrupt anything, stay… Eat something, we have some pizza left,” Olivia offers as she tries to cover herself, suddenly self-conscious of her state of undress in the presence of her stepdaughter.
“I’ll make you some tea, Lizzie, stay, please. Come on, baby,” Elliot adds as he stands up too.
She shakes her head and goes for the door, stopping dead in her tracks when she opens it and almost gets hit by her twin’s fist, ready to knock on the wood panel that just vanished.
“What are you doing here?” he grumbled.
“What are you doing here?” she counters.
“I asked first.”
“I was born first.”
“Are you really going to use it every fucking time, Liz?”
“If I have to, yes.”
“Vanessa didn’t show, okay? She got called in and she didn’t show, and I had it all planned and she didn’t fucking show and now I’m alone like a moron and I have this ring and no girlfriend. Good enough for you? Where is Dad?” he answers, frustrated and angry. “What are you even doing here? Where’s Perfect Penny?”
Tears stream back on her face as she starts crying again in the doorway.
“Oh shit,” Richard whispers as he wraps his arms around his sister. “I got you. She’s a dumbass, okay? I got you.”
Elliot and Olivia just stand there and watch the exchange between siblings, a little worried for both of them, a little moved by the care with which they hold on to each other.
Dickie’s eyes open wide when he sees Olivia’s clothes and she hides behind Elliot to flee to her room to grab pants. She comes back to the couch with an extra t-shirt that she gives to Elliot as he places two tea cups in front of the twins.
She has put her bra back on and pulled her hair in a clip, on top of putting her leggings back on. He snorts at her outfit change, date night is definitely over for them.
She settles on the couch and Lizzie lays her head on her shoulder, she wraps one arm around her and strokes her bicep slowly as they listen to Richard’s plan for his aborted proposal. It turns into a monologue of how much he loves her and how he wants to have a life with her, kids maybe, a house, the whole shebang.
“But how am I supposed to ask her to marry me if she’s not there long enough for me to actually ask the question?” he pleads to his father, tears in his own eyes now.
“Sometimes, you can't force it. You need patience and to trust that it will happen when it's time,” he answers in earnest, looking at Olivia holding his youngest daughter.
“She's risking her life every day, Dad, I don't want to not be there for her. I just…I…I love her, Dad, so much,” he emphasizes.
“I know, son, I know… Tell her that, tell her how much you care for her, how much you want to support and love her,” Elliot adds as he squeezes his son's knee.
“How did mom ever let you out the door? I'll never understand… Vanessa runs into fires. She literally runs into buildings that are on fire. At least not every guy is shooting at you!”
“I think she knew I was doing it to help others, it was never reckless or without purpose. You have to understand that no matter what, Vanessa will always do her best to come home to you, Rich. She will. As much as she wants to help, at the end of the day, she wants to come home to you.”
Olivia looks at the exchange with tears in her eyes. She understands both of them. She worries every time Elliot goes to work, worries that today will be the day Ayanna calls her because he got hurt. She remembers the panic every time he was wounded when they were partners on the job, but to get called now would be worse. She could lose him. They could end before they barely got to begin. And she understands the calling to help others in need. The purpose that carries every step she takes and every danger she throws herself into to protect the victims.
The four of them end up sharing a bottle of wine, Lizzie doesn't say much and just listens to her brother's lament about work and his building's unending renovations. She is falling asleep on Olivia's shoulder, lulled by the wine, exhausted by the tears, when a loud banging starts at the door. She jumps at the sound. Olivia too. Elliot reaches for his belt only to remember his gun is in the safe. And Richard rolls his eyes at their reaction.
Elliot barely gets the door opened when Kathleen barrels through and starts ranting about her own catastrophic night.
“I need you to vouch for me when I kill that moron! He is an absolute idiot! I can't believe I've let him in my bed, let alone my life! I swear to fucking God, I am going to cut his balls and feed them to Grandma's cat!” she starts as she enters the apartment and throws her bag on the chair her father just vacated. She doesn't acknowledge anyone as she continues. “He says he works with the elite of his field? Well, he is definitely not part of it. He is a fucking idiot who doesn't use his brain for shit.”
She is pacing back and forth in the living room, ranting loudly, angry at the unnamed man she has been dating.
Lizzie and Olivia straighten up on the couch, ready to jump into the conversation and calm Kathleen down when she turns to Olivia suddenly.
“Where did you even find him? And how, oh my god, how can you work with him and not shoot him when he opens his fucking mouth?”
Olivia stands up when Elliot stops moving altogether.
“What do you mean work with him ?” he asks his daughter. “Liv works with your boyfriend?”
Kathleen's eyes grow tenfold as she realizes what she said. A bright red blush coming up from her neck to her face.
“I…I mean…You…Fuck.” She babbles as she falls on the chair in front of them. She can’t look at her dad, she can’t look at Olivia. She knows they’ll know. “Just forget it, okay. It doesn’t matter.”
Elliot kneels in front of her, trying to get her to look at him. “Kathleen… Of course, it matters. It’s hurting you, it matters to me. To us.”
“Dad…” she starts with tears pooling in her eyes, before she reaches to hug him and hide her face in his neck.
Another loud knock startles the group. Olivia is the one opening the door this time and she finds herself face to face with her detective.
“Velasco? What are you doing here?” she asks worriedly. Her phone was not on silent, she would have gotten any important call coming in.
“Captain. So sorry to disturb you at home, but…but I need to talk to you.” He takes a deep breath but doesn’t try to come in. “Look, I…I’ve been—”
“Joe? What are you doing here?” Kathleen cuts him from the other side of the room upon seeing the newest arrival.
His eyes soften as he sees her, he smiles, shy, sorry. He takes a few steps towards her but she crosses her arms and plants her feet in the carpet, anger still brewing.
“I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have said that… I’m an ass, okay? I’m stupid. I didn’t mean any of it.”
The pieces click finally and Olivia breathes out as she closes the door. “Oh. That’s… Kathleen?” she asks. The young woman nods, tears rolling on her cheek. She turns to her detective then. “And you?”
“Look, Cap, it’s on me. I was the one who didn’t want to tell you,” he tries but Olivia cuts him by raising her hand.
“I don’t care about that, Velasco. What I care about is why she is here in tears and angry at you. What do you have to say for yourself?” She uses her Captain voice then, and he visibly pales at the tone.
The whole room is silent. Elliot is clenching his fists but not moving yet.
“I was scared. I was scared to tell you and that you wouldn’t think I’m good enough for her. Because I sure as hell am not.” He looks at Kathleen then. “But I am more scared of losing you, bella .”
Kathleen melts and her tears turn from sad and angry to happy and loving. She smiles through her tears and takes a step towards him, wrapping herself around him like she is drowning and he is her lifeline.
“You're an idiot,” she mumbles into his neck as he chuckles. “But I don't want to lose you either.”
Kathleen tries to kiss him then, but he steps back and looks at her like she has grown another head. She raises an eyebrow. “Joe?”
He looks around, eyeing his captain and her dad. “I can't kiss you in front of them!” he whispers. Olivia snickers and Elliot nods with a proud smile. She hits his arm and he frowns.
“They've seen worse, trust me. Now stop being a baby!” Kathleen whispers back. He still looks unsure and afraid. “Jose Velasco, kiss me now.” He finally obliges and locks his lips on hers, holding her face with care and passion.
Elliot is seething so Olivia forces him to turn away, earning him loud laughs from the twins. She joins in as he drops back into the vacant chair.
The new couple sits for some tea and coffee, telling the story of how they met and came to dating and while Lizzie doesn't seem surprised by the subterfuge, the other three are stunned and frankly impressed. Kathleen’s smile doesn't leave her face and Joe’s eyes don't leave her. It's nice, Olivia thinks, it's nice to see them so happy.
The siblings talk and banter unapologetically, sipping tea or wine, laughing at the disastrous evening, but enjoying being together through it and relying on each other.
Another hour goes by as they chat, Olivia ends up tucked into Elliot’s side on the couch as they watch and listen to his kids, to their family. Noah opens the door and they all stop talking to greet him but he doesn’t enter the room and they hear him giggle as he tosses his shoes off. He’s singing to himself, sounding cheerful and happy. Olivia’s heart swells for her boy and she tears up as he comes in with the brightest smile on his face.
“Hey, guys!” he says joyfully as he joins them. He is puffing his chest proudly as he sits next to his mom.
“Had a good night baby?” she asks once the chatter picks back up.
“The best!” he answers as he snuggles into her. He watches the family his mother built for him with a smile.
Elliot chuckles. “At least one of us had a good day.” Olivia pinches him on his side and glares at him. “Okay, okay. I had a great day, too, until this bunch crashed our night,” he defends himself and she rolls her eyes as she adds a, “Nice save.”
One by one, they go home. First Kathleen and Joe, hand in hand, then Dickie when he gets a text that Vanessa is also going home, he drops his twin back at her place with the promise of lunch the next day and she feels better at the thought.
Elliot carries Noah to his bed, having fallen asleep quickly against his mother’s side. And Olivia makes sure the door is locked and settles in their bed.
He joins her and she snuggles into him, her head on his chest listening to his heartbeat and processing the evening. Their children blending so seamlessly. Their life together and the future she wants with him. Every morning and every night. The chaos of six children, grown and young, of grandchildren. She wants it all with him and the ring in his socks means he wants it too, she thinks.
“I'll marry you,” she whispers in his ear, eyes opened and waiting.
“What?” he asks dumbfounded, his head snapping to look at her.
“I found the ring, El.” She nuzzles his cheek. “I'll be your wife, Elliot Stabler.”
He smiles like a kid on Christmas morning when he kisses her.
“You weren't supposed to see that yet. I had a whole plan,” he parrots his son’s words from earlier. She laughs softly.
“And when did anything ever go according to plan around us?”
“Yeah, you’re right.” He kisses her again. “You’re sure, Benson?”
“Yes. I am. I want it all. With you. For better or for worse.” She kisses him, all tongue and teeth. Clinging to him.
He gets away from her after a while and out of the bed. She frowns until he opens his sock drawer and pulls the velvet box out.
He kneels in front of the bed and she beams when he slides his mama’s ring on her finger. A perfect fit to end a perfect Valentine’s date night.