Work Text:
Crowley’s hands gripped the lapels of his jacket, and before he could even process the sudden touch, his lips were pressed on his.
It wasn’t a pretty kiss by any standard, and his hands latched onto his shoulders in a desperate attempt to keep him there with Aziraphel. He felt a stray tear slip down Crowley’s face, and in that moment, he felt his heart break .
Crowley wrenched out of his grip seconds later, chest heaving. He tried to hold onto him, to keep him from slipping away again, but it was no use. A chasm stretched out between them, and the distance had never felt so insurmountable.
Sure, there were centuries where they didn’t speak a word to each other, only seeing traces of each other’s miracles across the world. But never like this; the space between them was never all-consuming like this one; an inescapable black hole.
They stared at each other, and Aziraphel knew – this was goodbye.
“I forgive you.” That was all Aziraphel could give him, because he did. For every hurt that Crowley caused him, he would forgive him. Even if it was a rejection of the worst kind, one that sunk deep into his skin and would never fade. Crowley was right, they could have been together, doing work that would make change in all the realms. But he couldn’t afford to run away like he did, to be selfish . Not even for Crowley.
Why couldn’t he understand that?
“Don’t bother.” Aziraphel’s eyes filled with tears, but Crowley was already walking out the door.
Bother, like he wasn’t taking his heart with him. Like Crowley could ever be someone he bothered to deal with, to speak to, when he was his everything .
But everything wasn’t enough though. This offer, another chance at heaven, was the only viable way he could give both of them their freedom. There was no going back from this, and without him there, Heaven would just continue being a golden cage for the angels. He couldn’t let that happen. Crowley might have been able to get free, but the others couldn’t. It was all they knew, but he could change that.
His lips trembled, and desperately he tried to blink back tears. This was it. No world-saving scheme, no plans to hide from heaven and hell, no eternal-life risking ploys, they were just – done.
“Aziraphale?” Metatron called out. He quickly wiped his nose, checking to make sure there were no signs of tears on his face. It was not a good look for an angel to be crying over a demon, even if said demon was still a soft spot for God.
“Coming!” He yelled back, walking quickly to catch back up with the angel. He wondered if he’d ever see him again. Crowley had done a good job at staying under the radar all these years, and he believed that if he wanted to, he could disappear without a trace and Aziraphel would never see him again.
He froze, and more tears threatened to fall down his reddened cheeks. For some reason, the possibility had never crossed Aziraphel’s mind. Since the beginning of time, it had been the two of them; Crowley and Aziraphel, the impossible duo, angel and devil united. But Crowley had never been just a demon to him. He was his partner, his confidant, the only other person who truly understood him. He thought it had been the same with Crowley, but here he stood, alone in a bookstore that had held them safe for decades.
“Are you quite alright?” Metatron asked him, casting a glance over to where he stood unmoving. His words snapped him out of his trace, and he began walking again.
“Mm, why yes, of course. How could I not be?” He laughed, but the sound was choked. Thankfully, Metatron made no comment.
“How did Crowley take the news?” He asked a second later.
“Not very well.” More tears filled his eyes, and now he was really scared that he might cry in front of him. But Metatron just kept his pace, not glancing back again.
“He always did want to do his own thing, asked too many questions.” Metatron muttered distastefully.
“What about –”
“Muriel will look after it for you, rest assured.” Aziraphel nodded in thanks, and they quickly approached the elevator.
“Ready?” Metatron asked. Aziraphel took a deep breath, and walked into the elevator.
It was the end of something good, but it would be worth it. It had to be worth it. As the elevator door closed, he caught a glimpse of a black bentley driving away, but he shook it off. There was no time to fantasize.
He had work to do.