Chapter Text
[tuesday, april 7th, xxxx 10:14] ego's philosophy class
[Group chat created by 🐝bachira-chan!!]
[Includes yocchan, rin i., chigiri👑🎀, nagi 👾:x, and others were added]
[Group chat renamed “ego's philosophy class”]
[10:14] 🐝bachira-chan!!: hi!
[10:15] rin i.: who the hell added me.
[10:15] hiori yo 🎮: so aggressive for ten in the morning…
[10:16] hiori yo 🎮: someone took his bitchy pills this morning
[10:16] rin i.: shut up hiori.
[hiori yo 🎮, 🐝bachira-chan!!, yocchan, and reo 💜 disliked “shut up hiori”]
[10:18] 🐝bachira-chan!!: this is a group chat for ego's philosophy class !!
[10:20] 🐝bachira-chan!!: i asked around 4 everyone's numbers so that i could add u guys !! i figured that we could use the help since it's supposed to be one of the hardest classes oop
[10:21] nagi 👾:x: wait its a hard class?
[10:21] nagi 👾:x: dropping out rn
[10:22] reo 💜: dont leave me alone, nagi
[10:22] nagi 👾:x: …
[10:23] hiori yo 🎮: it isnt supposed to be that hard
[10:23] hiori yo 🎮: ego just talks in circles sometimes
[10:23] nagi 👾:x: 🤮
[10:24] ryuu-chan✨🌷: AGREED!!!
[10:25] ryuu-chan✨🌷: bros a professional yapper 💀
[10:26] rin i.: jesus christ you're in my philosophy class too?
[10:26] ryuu-chan✨🌷: love u2 😘
[10:26] ryuu-chan✨🌷: not more than your hot brother tho
[rin i. disliked “not more than your hot brother tho”]
[10:28] rin i.: shut up about my brother. you can't get under my skin with that anymore.
[10:28] sae: please refrain from talking about me.
[10:29] sae: especially you, ryuusei.
[10:30] ryuu-chan✨🌷: omg sae-chan noticed me 😱🥰
[10:30] nagi 👾:x: simp
[10:30] reo 💜: gross
[10:30] chigiri👑🎀: whipped
[10:31] karasu tabito: omg bae you dont love me anymore 😰
[10:31] ryuu-chan✨🌷: no karasu youre still my numero uno bae
[10:32] ryuu-chan✨🌷: 😘😘😘
[10:32] karasu tabito: i luv u 2 pookie 😘
[10:33] sae: ryuusei.
[ryuu-chan✨🌷 deleted two messages.]
[10:35] karasu tabito: man you are whipped
[10:35] rin i.:** i think im going to throw up.
[10:36] 🐝bachira-chan!!: everyone !! this is for philosophy !!
[10:37] 🐝bachira-chan!!: hopefully this chat will be used for class notes/study groups
[10:38] ryuu-chan✨🌷: awwwww so no gossip ? 😔
[10:38] 🐝bachira-chan!!: ill allow it !!
[10:39] 🐝bachira-chan!!: but it needs to be xtra juicy stuff
[10:40] hiori yo 🎮: did you guys know that rin is dating isagi?
[🐝bachira-chan!! emphasized “did you guys know that rin is dating isagi”]
[10:42] rin i.: what.
[10:43] ryuu-chan✨🌷: OUUUUUU TEA
[10:43] karasu tabito: he took a whole two minutes to text five characters
[10:43] karasu tabito: they're defo dating
[10:44] 🐝bachira-chan!!: now that is some xtra juicy gossip
[10:45] 🐝bachira-chan!!: @yocchan explain please
[10:46] yocchan: WE SRAN OT DAJING
[10:48] yocchan: we barely even know each other
[10:49] sae: because people who barely know each other hang out in a room with the door closed. alone. with questionable noises coming out of the room.
[10:50] nagi 👾:x: caught in 4k by the bil
[10:50] chigiri👑🎀: longest sentence typed by nagi ever
[10:50] reo 💜: real
[10:51] nagi 👾:x: kys
[10:52] hiori yo 🎮: you can just tell hes a roblox kid 💀
[10:52] hiori yo 🎮: but back to the subject rin and isagi are definitely dating
[10:53] hiori yo 🎮: i have proof.
[10:54] reo 💜: he put a period at the end yk its gonna be good shit
[10:55] reo 💜: send it over bestie
[10:55] ryuu-chan✨🌷: i have money 🙏
[10:55] ryuu-chan✨🌷: ill pay you hiori
[10:56] hiori yo 🎮: sending rn
[10:57] nagi 👾:x: wait now im invested
[10:57] nagi 👾:x: dont cockblock me now
[🐝bachira-chan!!, ryuu-chan✨🌷, hiori yo 🎮, reo 💜, chigiri👑🎀, and karasu tabito laughed “don't cockblock me now”]
[10:58] karasu tabito: lil bro said what 😭
[10:58] yocchan: DINT SENJ IT FO HIM OMG HIORU
[10:58] ryuu-chan✨🌷: barely legible 💀
[10:59] hiori yo 🎮: sent
[10:59] hiori yo 🎮: sorry isagi 💀
[10:59] yocchan: HIROI
[10:59] yocchan: HIROSDI I WIKK FCKUNGI KFL
[yocchan is offline.]
[11:00] karasu tabito: did his phone just die mid argument 💀
[11:00] rin i.: you sent it?
[11:00] rin i.: where is your address.
[11:00] chigiri👑🎀: YOURE GONNA GET KILLED LMFAOOOOOOO
[11:01] kurona 🦈: better run. run.
[11:01] nagi 👾:x: hes dead like isagis phone
[🐝bachira-chan!!, chigiri👑🎀, reo 💜, and kurona 🦈 loved “hes dead like isagis phone”]
[11:01] 🐝bachira-chan!!: come over to my place hiori-chan !!
[11:02] 🐝bachira-chan!!: we can study for ego's quiz next week !!
[11:03] hiori yo 🎮: running rn
[11:04] hiori yo 🎮: should i get my books from the school
[11:04] rin i.: if it wants to die.
[11:04] chigiri👑🎀: blud called hiori “it”
[11:04] ryuu-chan✨🌷: bro thinks hes scary
[11:06] rin i.: i will track you down by stalking every one of your social media posts i will find your ip address i will find your email address i will find your actual address and i will start to slowly destroy your life by controlling your socials and emails and you won't know how but everyone wil slowly begin to leave you while you don't know why because i cover my tracks and then i comfort you when you are at your lowest and then i will destroy you mentally until you are swimming in a pit of darkness and you can't escape.
[11:07] kurona 🦈: bond villain. villain.
[11:07] karasu tabito: he's in his villain arc
[11:08] ryuu-chan✨🌷: deadass gave me chills
[11:08] hiori yo 🎮: coming now bachira!
[🐝bachira-chan loved “coming now bachira!”]
[11:09] 🐝bachira-chan!!: yay !!
[🐝bachira-chan!!, hiori yo 🎮, and rin i. went offline.]
[11:10] sae: ryuusei. would you like to come over to study?
[11:10] ryuu-chan✨🌷: On my way!
[11:11] karasu tabito: less than ten seconds 💀
[11:11] chigiri👑🎀: whipped
[11:14] ryuu-chan✨🌷: shut up you miserable old bats. its not my fault that you dont know what true love is like. karasu you can only date girls who date you for money or dares. chigiri youre so dense to love you cant even notice who does like you. your love lives are so pathetic it almost makes me sick, but i have my own true love so i am comforted by that feeling. too bad that you guys will never be able to experience that though.
[sae and ryuu-chan✨🌷 went offline.]
[11:14] kurona 🦈: wow.
[11:15] chigiri👑🎀: thats craaaaazy
[11:15] chigiri👑🎀: he was literally calling karasu bae like ten seconds ago
[11:16] karasu tabito: ong bro
[11:16] karasu tabito: i thought we was bros 💀
[11:17] karasu tabito: also did yall notice rin and shidou are kinda… similar?
[11:17] ototoya: ill be ur bae 😍
[11:18] karasu tabito: ur such a hottie 😘
[11:18] nagi 👾:x: @reo do friends normally talk like this
[11:19] reo 💜: uhhhhh
[11:19] reo 💜: maybe
[11:19] reo 💜: its normally the soccer guys who act the most gay
[11:20] karasu tabito: WHOA?????
[11:20] karasu tabito: RUDE
[11:20] ototoya: ur acting a little homophobic
[11:21] ototoya: karasu protect me from the mean homophobic man 😥
[11:21] karasu tabito: dw bae i gotchu
[11:22] reo 💜: you see?
[11:23] nagi 👾:x: 👍
[11:23] nagi 👾:x: come over
[11:24] reo 💜: coming
reo 💜 and nagi 👾 are offline.]
[11:25] karasu tabito: and he thinks were the gay ones 💀
[11:25] ototoya: calling nagi “his treasure”
[11:26] ototoya: like bro
[11:27] 🐝bachira-chan!!: please direct all one-one-one chats to dms !!
[11:27] karasu tabito: they cant handle our gayness ☹️
[11:28] ototoya: saddening.
[11:28] 🐝bachira-chan!!: also hiori made it here safely ☺️
[11:29] rin i.: not for long.
[Everyone is offline.]
-
[tuesday, april 8th, xxxx 23:16] ego's philosophy class
[kunigami questioned “coming now bachira!”]
[23:16] kunigami: Did anyone figure out if Hiori survived?
[23:16] chigiri👑🎀: with how rin was talking i wouldnt be surprised if he just
[23:17] chigiri👑🎀: stabby stabbed him
[23:17] king👑🅱️barou: can everyone shut the fuck up
[23:18] king👑🅱️barou: some people are trying to get their full eight hours
[23:18] king👑🅱️barou: its bad enough with you guys talking during the day when im studying
[23:19] chigiri👑🎀: js wait until the second week and youre pulling all nighters
[23:19] kurona 🦈: no homework. gaming. gaming.
[23:20] karasu tabito: what games you play sharky?
[23:20] kurona 🦈: fortnite. splatoon. animal crossing. cod.
[23:21] karasu tabito: nintendo?
[23:21] kurona 🦈: yes. yes.
[23:22] ototoya: join our party lil dude
[23:22] ototoya: ill send the link
[23:22] kurona 🦈: cool. cool.
[23:23] king👑🅱️barou: stfu geeks
[23:24] kunigami: I think that everyone should refrain from using foul language in a school group chat.
[23:24] kunigami: Also, I am still curious as to whether Hiori is still alive.
[23:25] rin i.: he will die.
[rin i. went offline.]
[23:26] chigiri👑🎀: WHOA WHOA WHOA BRO
[23:26] nikki: rin is just in a silly goofy mood
[23:26] nikki: still someone needs to put hiori in the witness protection program
[23:27] king👑🅱️barou: the fuck he didnt witness anything
[23:27] nikki: he witnessed rin and isagi kissing
[23:27] yocchan: WE WEFE NOT KSING
[23:27] nikki: i saw the picture
[23:27] yocchan: YOJ WHART
[23:28] chigiri👑🎀: i guess his phone charged 💀
[23:29] yocchan: but we werent 😰
[23:29] king👑🅱️barou: shut up we all know you two are fucking
[23:30] chigiri👑🎀: OMFG
[23:30] nikki: i mean i knew he was vulgar but
[23:31] nikki: no need to be that straight forward
[23:32] king👑🅱️barou: but literally everyone knows
[23:32] king👑🅱️barou: they were nearly dry humping in the class
[23:33] chigiri👑🎀: i thought that was sae and shidou
[23:34] kunigami: I believe that that was both couples.
[23:34] nikki: gross 🤮
[23:35] chigiri👑🎀: isnt your shared contact “nikki” 💀
[23:35] nikki: WHAT
[23:36] nikki: @karasu tabito
[23:36] nikki: DID YOU CHANGE MY SHARED CONTACT AGAIN
[23:37] karasu tabito: maybe 🤫
[23:38] chigiri👑🎀: its so cute tho 🥰
[23:38] chigiri👑🎀: i think ill start calling you nikki
[23:39] nikki: NO
[23:40] nikki: THIS IS ALL AIKUS FAULT
[23:40] karasu tabito: he was right when he said it was cute
[23:40] nikki: FUCK HIM
[23:41] king👑🅱️barou: CAN EVERYONE JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP
[23:42] hiori yo 🎮: HELP ME
[23:42] hiori yo 🎮: I THINK HE FOUND ME
[23:43] 🐝bachira-chan!!: HES TRYING TO PUSH DOWN THE DOOR !!
[23:44] 🐝bachira-chan!!: GET THE POLICE
[23:44] yocchan: @rin i.
[23:44] nikki: @rin i.
[23:44] chigiri👑🎀: @rin i.
[23:45] rin i.: you lukewarm bastards cant control me.
[23:45] 🐝bachira-chan!!: I THINK HE GOT A ROCK
[23:46] rin i.: im sharpening a stick.
[23:46] rin i.: get ready to die.
[23:47] hiori yo 🎮: I HAVE TOO MUCH TO LIVE FOR
[23:48] hiori yo 🎮: YOU CANT KILL ME
[23:48] yocchan: rin you cant actually kill hiori
[23:49] 🐝bachira-chan!!: OMFG
[🐝bachira-chan!! sent a video.]
The video has a thumbnail of Meguru's face. Next to him is Yo, who is pressed up against the door. When the video starts playing, screams and words like, “STOP IT RIN” are heard. There is an incessant banging at the door, with a shadow in the window. Suddenly, the banging stops and there is a small click. Yo looks visibly terrified. The door opens and more screams are heard as a messy, unkempt Rin tears throough the house. From there, the video ends right after it is seen that Rin tackles Yo.
[23:50] ryuu-chan✨🌷: 😧
[23:50] karasu tabito: blud was not joking
[23:51] hiori yo 🎮: SFDNLT)W*UGRKJNP_(U09345;lkmdfvkm P”OJFD:LKSJDFH0942t
[23:51] chigiri👑🎀: he's butt dialing from the dead
[23:52] ryuu-chan✨🌷: hiori-chan 😭
[23:52] ryuu-chan✨🌷: rip
[23:52] nikki: hiori?
[23:53] karasu tabito: yuh oh
[23:53] nikki: “yuh oh” nerd 🤮
[23:55] rin i.: its done.
[23:56] yocchan: rin
[23:56] 🐝bachira-chan!!: everyone start planning the funeral
[23:57] ryuu-chan✨🌷: ill ask my boss if they have death like flowers
[23:57] ryuu-chan✨🌷: red spider lilies will be around hioris grave
[23:58] rin i.: the fuck are you idiots talking about.
[23:58] rin i.: i didnt kill hiori.
[23:58] rin i.: i would never commit a felony.
[23:59] 🐝bachira-chan!!: false alarm everyone i thought he died he js passed out ☺️
[00:00] chigiri👑🎀: like him passing out is any better 😭
[00:00] chigiri👑🎀: at least be a little concerned for hiori
[00:01] kunigami: Wait, so what did you do, Rin?
[00:02] ryuu-chan✨🌷: THE PICTURE IS GONE
[00:02] ryuu-chan✨🌷: I WAS GONNA MAKE IT RIN'S INSTAGRAM PROFILE PICTURE ONCE I HACKED IN AGAIN
[00:02] sae: wait what?
[00:02] ryuu-chan✨🌷: sometimes i js like to be silly 🤭
[00:03] kurona 🦈: the picture disappeared from my chat with hiori. disappeared.
[00:03] hiori yo 🎮: noooooooooooo 😭
[00:04] rin i.: the evidence of my relationship with yoichi is gone. i deleted it off of hiori's phone and everyone he sent it to.
[00:05] ryuu-chan✨🌷: screenshotted 💀
[00:05] sae: rin, i thought you were smart.
[00:06] rin i.: shit.
[rin i. deleted one message.]
[ryuu-chan✨🌷 sent a picture.]
[00:07] kurona 🦈: thank you. thank you.
[00:07] king👑🅱️barou: how tf did bro get caught lacking again
[00:08] karasu tabito: never thought id see the day when barou using gen z terms
[00:09] ryuu-chan✨🌷: he acts like an adult so often we forget hes the same age
[00:09] king👑🅱️barou: 💀
[00:09] yocchan: rin dms rn
[00:09] rin i.: k
[23:53] nikki: bros gonna get his ass beat
[00:10] chigiri👑🎀: rin replies faster to isagi than shidou does to sae
[00:10] ryuu-chan✨🌷: 😢
[00:11] sae: are you almost back?
[00:11] ryuu-chan✨🌷: YES MY DARLING
[00:11] ryuu-chan✨🌷: WITH ICE CREAM AND SODA AS WELL AS THOSE CHIPS YOU LIKE 😘
[00:12] chigiri👑🎀: i take it back shidou is quicker
[00:12] ryuu-chan✨🌷: BITCHES BE QUICK BUT IM QUICKER 😘
[00:13] chigiri👑🎀: BITCHES BE THICK BUT IM THICKER 🤩
[00:13] karasu tabito: SHE COULD BE RICH BUT IM RICHER🤑
[00:14] sae: if you don't get back in one minute i'm starting without you.
[00:14] ryuu-chan✨🌷: 🏃♂️
[00:15] karasu tabito: do you fucking predict his texts
[00:15] ryuu-chan✨🌷: im psychic when it comes to sae 😘
[00:15] sae: i'm in the white thing you like.
[ryuu-chan✨🌷 went offline.]
[00:16] karasu tabito: damn
[00:16] karasu tabito: i didnt know they were like that 💀
-
[wednesday, april 9th, xxxx 00:09] rin - yoichi
[00:09] yocchan: rin
[00:09] rin i.: jesus fucking christ im sorry.
[00:10] rin i.: i didnt think that through
[00:10] yocchan: and you were the one who didnt want to tell everyone about us
[00:10] yocchan: what gives?
[00:11] rin i.: i dont want anyone involved in our personal business.
[00:11] rin i.: there is the word “ours” in there.
[00:12] yocchan: would it reeeeally be that bad?
[00:12] yocchan: we both love each other, our parents like each other, and weve been dating for six months
[00:13] yocchan: maybe its time that we tell everyone
[00:13] yocchan: besides sae probably already knows
[00:13] rin i.: everyone knows now, thanks to me.
[00:14] yocchan: rin
[00:14] yocchan: lets tell everyone
[00:15] rin i.: you want to?
[00:16] yocchan: ive been ready since you first asked me out
[00:16] rin i.: i love you, yoichi.
[00:16] yocchan: i love you too, rin
[00:17] yocchan: so were telling everyone tomorrow?
[00:19] rin i.: yeah. lets do it.
[00:19] yocchan: ❤️
[yocchan and rin i. went offline.]
-
[thursday, april 10th, xxxx 15:18] ego's philosophy class
[15:18] aiku oliver: GUYS
[15:18] aiku oliver: DID YOU GUYS SEE INSTAGRAM
[15:19] reo 💜: no…?
[15:19] ryuu-chan✨🌷: send it to him he needs to see
[15:20] ryuu-chan✨🌷: EVERYONE needs to see
[15:20] karasu tabito: not after all you assholes left me on delivered 💀
[15:21] ryuu-chan✨🌷: bro just click the link its more important rn
[15:21] sae: oh my god, they did it.
[aiku oliver sent a link.]
[15:22] reo 💜: oh. my. god.
[15:22] chigiri👑🎀: anyone have the notes from todays lecture?
[15:23] 🎀aryu🌟: sent by your favorite glam person ✨
[15:24] reo 💜: GUYS THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS RIGHT NOW
[15:24] reo 💜: CLICK THE LINK
[15:25] ototoya: whoa
[15:25] nikki: 🚨THIS IS NOT A DRILL🚨
[15:26] nikki: 🚨I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL🚨
[15:26] hiori yo 🎮: no ways
[15:26] karasu tabito: @rin i. @yocchan
[15:27] chigiri👑🎀: ARE THEY FUCKING FOR REAL
[15:28] 🎀aryu🌟: what a glam way of announcing their relationship ✨
[15:28] nagi 👾:x: idttrhtb
[15:29] reo 💜: “i didn't think that rin had the balls” -nagi
[15:29] nikki: blud has his own translator
[15:30] ototoya: and they were calling us gay 💀
[15:30] ototoya: how tf can you say that after translating what i thought was a butt text
[15:30] 🐝bachira-chan!!: congratulations rin-chan and yocchan !!
[15:31] yocchan: thank you everyone for the congratulations
[15:31] yocchan: he would probably reply to everyone but he cant seem to find his phone
[rin i. updated their set contact to “yocchans love❤️💐”]
[15:32] yocchans love❤️💐: 😏😏😏**
[15:32] yocchans love❤️💐: 😝😝😝**
[15:32] aiku oliver: no way
[15:33] kurona 🦈: shidou took his phone? phone?
[15:33] sae: i'll get his phone back.
[15:34] sae: yoichi meet me by the art department. i have a class there.
[yocchan liked “yoichi meet me by the art department. i have a class there.”]
[15:35] yocchans love❤️💐: u wont be able to find me 🤭
[15:35] sae: i will kill you.
[15:35] yocchans love❤️💐: dont try to threaten me with a good time sae-chan 😘
[15:36] nagi 👾:x: 🤮🤮🤮
[15:36] sae: ryuusei.
[15:37] yocchans love❤️💐: coming
[15:37] sae: ryuusei. properly.
[15:37] ryuu-chan✨🌷: coming
[15:38] sae: thank you. meet me in front of anri's class. i'm going to have a talk with you.
[15:38] ryuu-chan✨🌷: ok…
[ryuu-chan✨🌷, sae, and yocchans love❤️💐 went offline.]
[15:39] nikki: blud is in deep shit 💀
[15:40] reo 💜: congratulations, isagi. we're all very happy for you ❤️
[15:40] nagi 👾:x: etycdwbtr. imrilar. dmi.”
[15:41] ototoya: calling the nagi translator
[15:41] reo 💜: “**except that you could do way better than rin. i mean rin is literally a robot. date me instead.” -nagi
[15:42] kurona 🦈: nagi wants to date isagi? isagi?
[15:42] hiori yo 🎮: couldve sworn to god that nagi liked reo
[15:43] reo 💜: sorry i mistranslated. meguru*
[15:43] chigiri👑🎀: WHAT
[15:44] karasu tabito: somehow thats even better
[15:44] karasu tabito: i see the potential
[15:44] king👑🅱️barou: DO YOU GUYS NOT KNOW WHAT SHUTTING THE FUCK UP IS
[15:44] king👑🅱️barou: IM IN AN ECONOMICS LECTURE AND YOU GUYS ARE BLOWING UP MY PHONE
[15:45] nikki: sorry sensitive king
[15:46] king👑🅱️barou: shut the fuck up nikki
[15:47] nikki: jokes on you that doesnt affect me anymore
[15:47] nikki: everyone move to the dorm 5 gc
[15:47] karasu tabito: but me, yo, aryu, kurona, rin, and toto arent in that gc…?
[15:48] aiku oliver: damn ok i see how this is
[15:48] nikki: sounds like a you problem
[15:49] chigiri👑🎀: MOVE OUT EVERYONE 🗣
[16:17] 🐝bachira-chan!!: what did i miss?
[16:19] 🐝bachira-chan!!: WHAT
[16:19] 🐝bachira-chan!!: WHO SAID ISAGI SHOULD DATE ME
[16:19] 🐝bachira-chan!!: HELLO
[16:19] 🐝bachira-chan!!: ANYONE