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L isn’t an idiot, Kira knows that. However, what if Kira let his guard down, what if he got too comfortable within L’s embrace? What if L figured out that Light was no longer Light, just because Kira let the mask slip for a moment? The glare from the usual calm and collected L, contained anger beyond words could explain. It is understandable since L loves Light and Kira killed him, L has every right to loathe him. However, it still hurts.
How did this even happen? Why did I let my guard down? I hate you.
Kira lowered himself into the bathtub. The freezing water almost reached his nose and distracted him from the thoughts that ate him up inside. The killer leaned back, letting his body and mind relax. His eyelids became heavier, he was considering letting his consciousness slip for a while. Yet, when he shut his eyes, he felt something– or someone choking him. His eyes shot open, staring at L who glared back at him with contempt. Kira tried grabbing L’s wrists. I can’t breathe, was I ever able to breathe? He sat upright as he pulled the dark-haired man’s hands away and gasped for air, before realizing it was just an illusion.
Damn it.
Kira chuckled, before breaking into a fit of violent coughs, he covered his mouth as blood spilled on his hand. The so-called God stared at the yellow flower bud that once was just a tiny petal, until it became more, and more, until becoming this. He wonders if one day the flowers in his lungs will bloom.
Why did Ryuk even bother to tell me how much time I had left?
Kira got out, slipping into his bathrobe and flopping onto the bed. He stared at the ceiling, his mind blank. Then, there was a knock on his door.
It must be L
“Come in”
L walked towards Kira.
“ Light”
Kira’s eyes widened. It was the first time L had called him Li–
“Rem told me you can go back to the way you were if you relinquish your ownership of the Death Note” L’s tone was slightly enthusiastic
Ah, I got my hopes up for nothing
“Is that so? But what do you mean by go back to the way I was? I don't think I've changed that much”
L knew he was lying, however, he continued. “You’ll do so, right? We can go back to the way we were before”
I am also Light, can’t you see? Why would you want to get rid of me? The Death Note is a part of me too, you know?
“I’m not Kira”
Silence enveloped the room.
Lawliet, you’re too cruel, you know I could never write your name. You’re just taking advantage of it at this point
“Soon I’ll get evidence to execute you, Kira.” L’s eyes narrowed as he sat beside Kira “Why did you have to use the Death Note? What made you like this?”
“Death Note? I don’t own that thing” I already burned it
“The investigation is going nowhere, do you not feel guilty for your actions? Your father died thinking you weren’t Kira.”
“Because I’m not” You’re just trying to get me to slip up. I know this whole conversation is being recorded.
“You’re cruel, Kira, can’t you just give Light back?”
“I am Light”
“....” The older male got up, placing a bag of medicine next to Kira. “I heard you coughing, I don’t know what it could be so I bought you all kinds of medicine that could help you” With that, he left the room.
You’re trying to get me to lower my guard again. Don’t show me fake kindness that isn’t even directed toward me, it’s your way of saying “Kira, don’t mess with Light’s body.” I loathe you.
Kira started coughing again, this time he didn’t bother trying to stop the blood from spilling everywhere. He stared at the ceiling mindlessly as he pushed the flower bud out of his mouth. After a while of contemplating, he got up from bed, wiping his mouth and tossing the bud away. The brunette changed into his clothes and walked out of the bedroom.
L is probably watching everything through the cameras
Kira walked out of the headquarters. Heading to the cafe he used to go to with L, he crossed the street and walked into the cafe.
“The strawberry shortcake, please.”
“Any drinks, sir?”
“No, thank you.”
.-. -.-- ..- --.. .- -.- ..
Kira cut through the cake with his fork and bit into the small piece.
How disgustingly sweet, how does L even eat this?
He took another bite
I don’t understand how he could like this
and another
Disgusting
and another
the strawberry is sour...
Until he finished the cake.
cough
His sight blurred for a moment as he stared at the blood in his hands.
The waitress dropped the tray she held and rushed over to Kira’s side. “Sir? Sir! Are you okay?”
He pushed her away and ran to the bathroom.
cough
Shit, it’s blooming way too quickly…
Kira stared at the starting-to-bloom flower bud in his shaking hand. He chuckled at the absurdity. He was a God, but what kind of God would hesitate to kill a mortal?
-.-. .... .-. -.-- ... .- -. - .... . -- ..- --
“I quit”
Kira watched as L’s eyes widened in surprise.
“You can’t-”
“I can, unless you were to lock me up–...” Kira smiled “My father is gone, and the investigation is going nowhere, I don’t want to have to spend all day in this building.”
“Is the guilt consuming you, Kira?”
“I’m not Kira.”
L’s eyes narrowed in disappointment, he wasn’t expecting him to leave. After all, Kira loves him too much to do so.
“Go die, Ryuzaki. And, goodbye.”
The smile Kira gave to L was one L couldn’t read, however, he paid no mind.
“Is that a threat?”
“It’s just a wish.”
.. - .... ..- .-. - ...
Kira exited the train, and the shinigami followed. Taking in the cold breeze, he stepped onto the snow-covered ground.
“I have– a week left, right?”
The death god nodded silently.
“Thanks, Ryuk”
The killer walked for a while until he reached his grandmother’s home. He knocked and received no response. The door wasn’t closed, so he pushed it open. The floors creaked as he set his foot inside. A faint smell of rot lingered in the air. He was welcomed by the body of his grandmother as he walked into the kitchen. The body was relatively well kept, perhaps because of the cold. It didn’t seem long since her death, so he carried the body and carefully buried it near the house. He shut his eyes and prayed.
“What have I been doing this entire time? Sayu… father…”
He let out a sigh, as he stared at his chapped hands before going back into the house.
“Why don’t you kill me, Ryuk? You said when we first met… that you’d be the one to write my name.” Kira asked as he slumped on the bed, his eyelids getting heavier.
The shinigami silently stared above Kira’s head.
“Good night”
-- --- -. -.. .- -.--
In the quiet stillness of a winter's night, the moon cast a soft glow on the pristine snow-covered landscape. The air was frigid, each breath crystallizing in the freezing air. Kira staggered through the snow, his breaths labored and wheezy. Each step left a crimson stain on the snowy ground. His hand shook as he clutched his chest, trying to take in the cold air, instead, he ended up coughing another flower.
With each faltering step, his vision blurred, and his senses dulled. The world around him seemed to fade into a hazy dream, where the only reality that existed within was the flowers that burned his lungs.
Glancing down the frozen river, he stumbled onto the ground and coughed up the roots. He smiled at the beautiful blood-covered daffodil. Through the blurs, he saw a pale figure that rushed towards him. It was warm, despite the snow that fell, it felt nice. Kira observed the river awaiting, one that pleaded for him to hurry up. The embrace, however, binded his body and stopped him from doing so, and he didn’t resist.
..-. ..- .-.. .-.. -- --- --- -.