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“Garroth I just can’t anymore, ok?!?!” Another harsh slap fell on Garroth’s cheek. “Laurence-” Laurence glared at him, Garroth cowered further into the corner. “Laurence, you-you said you loved me.” Laurence pulled his arm back and hit him with the bottle in his hand. “I never loved you!" The brown hair man was screaming. "You were nothing but a pity project! You never satisfied me, not as a friend, a roommate, and not once as a lover!!” Garroth was hit again with the bottle that now smashed over his head. He felt blood and tears on his face. He let his eyes shut, the picture of Laurence stomping over to him fury in his eyes, the last thing he saw.
Garroth shot up in bed, he felt tears rolling steadily down his face, he moved his hand around his head feeling for injuries and blood, his hand returning clean.
It was all a dream.
Garroth felt his breathing starting to slow as he took in his surroundings. He had been having the same horrible nightmare every night since Laurence left to visit his family. His boyfriend didn’t leave angry or ever once hit Garroth so he was trying to figure out where it came from.
This was the tenth night in a row and Aphmau and the others had started to notice a difference in his behavior. He was jumpier and stopped letting people besides Zane and Vylad in his house, but never in his and Laurence’s room.
Garroth really wanted to hear Laurence’s voice but didn't want to interrupt his sleep or family time. But he hadn’t spoken to his boyfriend in days and he was mid psychotic breakdown. He reached down and smiled at his lock screen.
It was from their first anniversary, at the aquarium, Laurence was staring up at the tank, the polar bears swimming around. The brunette had his palm resting on the glass and one of the bears held its paw in the same spot on the other side of the glass.
Garroth smiled and wiped away some tears and typed Laurence’s number in. Holding the phone up to his ear he waited for Laurence to answer. After two rings he heard the voice he’s been craving. “Garroth?” He felt tears well up in his eyes and a sob burst out of his chest. “Garroth?!?! Baby?!?!” He kept crying, trying to get words out but he couldn’t. After a second he realized no one was on the other side of the phone and Laurence had hung up. Garroth felt something inside him break.
A car door slammed outside and that was the final straw. Garroth gripped his ears and curled up into a little ball. He reached for a blanket but was met with the one Laurence had given him. Reeling back he fell off the bed and skittered into a corner. He stopped being able to get air in and his senses were coming in and out. “Garroth!!” He flinched back and covered his ears again.
When he opened his eyes Laurence was there holding out a hand for him. “Love?” His eyes were so full of love and worry. Garroth flung himself into his arms and sobbed harder. Laurence did his best to comfort him. “I’m here, you're ok.” Laurence bundled Garroth up and sat him in the middle of the bed. Laurence sat with his back against the headboard lap and arms waiting for Garroth to join him.
He knew during and after episodes he needed to be careful with Garroth any amount of touching was too much and too much noise sent them back to square one of being incoherent. Laurence patiently waited for Garroth to move towards him and when Garroth collapsed against his chest he took permission to run his fingers through the blond locks. “I’m here now. Everything’s gonna be ok.”
An hour or so later Garroth pulled back just enough so Laurence could see his face. His eyes and nose were red, tear tracks clear on his face, his bottom lip was trembling like he was still holding back tears. “Laurence, I-I’ve been having these dreams, you hit me and yell at me, a-and-” Laurence cut him off. “I would never. Garroth I love you, and I’ve loved you since high school.” Garroth sniffled and burrowed into his chest.
Garroth grabbed onto his hoodie and held tight. “I missed you.” Laurence chuckled and petted his hair. “I missed you too.” Laurence adjusted so they were laying down. “Sleep, baby.” Garroth put up no fight and put his head on Laurence’s chest and drifted off.
Garroth woke up to the smell of bacon and pancakes. His stomach rumbled and he looked around to see an empty bed. Of course Laurence only comforted him because of his breakdown. Who was he to think that someone so amazing really loved him?
On their nightstand was a note.
Hey love, I woke up and thought you’d like some breakfast in bed, but if you wake up early just stay put. I’ll be there soon.
Garroth tried to stay put he really did but his thoughts got the better of him. He grabbed one of Laurence’s hoodies, and pattered downstairs. Laurence was at the stove back to him. “Laurence?” He turned a sweet smile on his face. “Garroth, darling.” The blonde crossed the room and wrapped his arms around his stomach and plastered himself along his back. “Are you ok?” Garroth shrugged and let Laurence continue on with breakfast.
After a few minutes Laurence finished and plated the food. He placed them down and started pulling Garroth off him and into a chair. “Garroth just sit down, I’ll be right here.” Garroth whimpered and held tighter to his shirt. “Baby, I’m right here.” Garroth looked at him from over his shoulder. His eyes were watery, his face red. “Please, I’ll be right here.” Garroth slowly let go of him and sat down.
Laurence watched Garroth eat before starting to eat himself. Garroth was held close to himself and wouldn't look him in the eye. “Garroth, what's wrong?” He looked up through his eyelashes. “I haven’t been around people in a while.” Laurence startled and stared at him. “You haven’t seen your brothers?” Garroth shook his head. “No, I haven’t seen anyone.” Laurence startled. “Garroth, baby, why not?” He got up and disappeared upstairs. Laurence was worried and got ready to follow him when Garroth came back downstairs.
He sat down and put an empty medication bottle down on the table. Laurence picked it up and read the label. It was his schizophrenia medication. “Garroth, when did you run out of medication?” Garroth shrugged his shoulders. “Day after you left.” Garroth sniffled and looked up at him. “Are you mad?” Laurence shook himself out of his head. “No, absolutely not.”
Laurence pushed Garroth’s chair to face him. He squatted down and looked him in the eye. “Garroth, I’m not mad. How could I ever be mad at such an adorable face?” Garroth giggled. Laurence smiled and stood, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
Later in the day after the two of them refilled Garroth’s medication, Aphmau knocked on their door.
“Oh hey Laurence! I didn’t realize you were back!” Laurence smiled. “Surprise!!” Aphmau laughed. “Oh is Garroth ok? He’s been acting weird recently.” Laurence dropped his smile. “He’s fine, just being alone is getting to him.” Aphmau made a slight face, Laurence felt himself get frustrated on Garroth’s behalf. “Are you sure? I want to make sure he’s ok.” Aphmau tried to look around him to see Garroth who was on the couch watching a movie. Laurence stepped to block her eyesight. “We were wondering if the gang could get together for a movie night since I’m back.” Aphmau’s eyes lit up and she nodded. “Of course I’ll tell the gang.”
Laurence watched her run back to her house and sighed and he closed the door. “Garroth, did you hear all that?” Garroth looked up from the tv. “Only the movie part.” Laurence sighed and sat down with him on the couch. “Good.” Garroth was buried into his side. “What did Aphmau want?” Laurence sighed again. “She wanted to know what was going on.”
Garroth shifted uncomfortably. “What did you tell her?” “That you were just struggling with being alone.” He sighed and returned his face to his chest.
Garroth didn’t really share with the group about his disorder. Hell, Zane and Vylad only found out after Laurence pushed him to tell his little brothers, and the only reason Laurence knows is because they shared a bathroom and he found his medication. “You know eventually you should tell them.” Garroth shook his head. “I can’t what if they judge me?” “Baby they're our friends, they won’t judge you, and if they do they have to answer to me and Zane.” Garroth giggled.
“Ok maybe.” Laurence smiled and left the topic alone for the rest of the day.
Until another knock fell on their door. This time Laurence opened it with Garroth just slightly behind him. Zane was standing there. “Hey, we were wondering if you two wanted to join everyone today for movie night at Aaron and Aph’s?” Laurence looked back at Garroth who nodded slightly. “Yeah we’re in.” Zane’s eyes crinkled up in a smile.
“That’s good to hear. Um,” Laurence was ready to close the door but Garroth stopped him. “Garroth, h-how are you doing?” Garroth smiled . “A lot better. I’m sorry for worrying you.” Zane shook his head. “No, no it’s my fault I should have realized something was wrong.” Garroth rolled his eyes and pushed Laurence to the side. He took Zane’s face in his hands. “Nothing is your fault, ok? I will never blame you for any of this alright?” Zane nodded the beginning of tears forming in his eyes.
Garroth brought Zane into a tight hug that the emo boy quickly returned, an uncommon sight if you weren’t Aphmau. When they were done Garroth turned to Laurence and shooed him inside. “Come on, we don’t have shoes on.” Laurence laughed and hunted his shoes down. “Ok there now can we go?” Garroth nodded and took his hand. “Come on, let's go.”