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The Ghost of Christmas Boning (Or a Dead Harry Hart is still a Great Wingman)

Summary:

Harry and Merlin had worked with each other for decades, knew each other inside out. That is why Harry could see that Merlin was attracted to Eggsy, no matter how he denied it. Harry promised to help Merlin (despite Merlin's pleas that he do no such thing) get a date with Eggsy when he got back from Kentucky.

You think a little thing like death is going to stop Harry Hart? It won't and Harry is determined that being a ghost won't stop him from making sure his best friend doesn't spend Christmas alone.

Notes:

this story exists because of two things. One this gif set and the tags a person added to it: http://whisper-merwin.tumblr.com/post/135146627502/sourcecinematicnomadok-soi-see-a-lot-of-hartwin

and 2 because of a conversation I had with madteddies on tumblr about said gif set and the utter belief that Harry would be even more of a show off after death.

Chapter 1: The Apparition

Chapter Text

"You like him." Harry said after Eggsy left the medical room. 

"He is a capable candidate, to be sure." Merlin replied.

"I saw the look." Harry replied.

"There was no look." Merlin studied his clipboard.

"There was. A full up and down." Harry said. "You should ask him out."

"He's a candidate and half my age."

"So?" Harry asked.

"I'll nae abuse my authority!" Merlin said, shocked that Harry would even suggest such a thing.

"When he sits at the table, there wouldn't be a power imbalance then." Harry smiled and wiggled his brows a little.

"That sure of him are ye?" 

"Yes." Harry said simply. He had complete faith in the lad.

 

Harry poured the gin. "And how have you found Merlin Eggsy?"

"Mental, annoying, smart, unrelenting, bit of a bastard, -"

"Attractive?" Harry asked cutting off the list.

Eggsy shrugged, "Sure guess he's right fit."

"But not your type." Harry suggested mildly. He handed over a martini glass.

"Nah, he could be my type easy, just a little too busy right now to be thinking like that. Besides, he don't seem like the type to go for a bit of fun."

"Oh the stories I could tell you." Harry said. "But for now, you try to make the drink."

 

Merlin was giving the plane final checks and Harry was settling in. 

"We fought, said horrible things." Harry looked at his hands. "I didn't mean it."

"Of course ye didn't. And when you are back, you'll tell the lad, and he'll forgive ye. Has a good case of hero worship going, he does." Merlin looked at Harry. "He's too good an asset, we'll figure a place for him, perhaps in my division." Merlin's voice was not as matter of fact as he would have liked it to be.

"Oh, you think he's that good an asset do you? Or is it that you think he has a good ass?" Harry smirked and Merlin just rolled his eyes.

"Ye are good to go, you annoying prat. We'll get it all sorted when yer back." Merlin descended the steps.

"I'm going to get you a piece of that boy, if it's the last thing I do." Harry called after him.

Merlin just flipped him off.

 

As he stood at Harry's grave, all he could think of was that moment. And how it rather suited their friendship that that was what they closed out on.

 

Merlin stared at the table. "What do ye mean ye've all voted me in as Arthur?" He looked around. "Are ye bloody mad?"

Percival raised a brow. "Not at all. No one knows better than you how this organization runs. You know all of us, how we operate, what we need. Plus if we vote one of us in, then we are down an agent and this is no time to have candidate trials. No, we vote Eggsy as Galahad and you as Arthur. I trust you have a subordinate that can take your place as Merlin?"

Merlin sighed. "Two. In a few years I would have picked one, but frankly they are a great team and would function best as such." 

"Very good then. To Arthur." Percival said.

"To Arthur." they all called back.

Eggsy couldn't quite stop himself and winked at Merlin.

Merlin just shook his head.

 

Merlin couldn't get used to everyone calling him Arthur no matter that it had been months now. It was made worse that his replacements refused to take the name, instead they were Gwydion and Morgan Le Fay. He switched from his sweaters to proper Kingsman suits, but refused to give up his clipboard, and he moved offices. The first time the new Galahad visited they sat in the overly ornate furniture that Chester King had decorated his office with.

"Wanna burn it all?" Eggsy asked.

"Aye, very much. But perhaps we can just move it to a different room. And find me something more...less...different." That was the word he was finally able to settle on.

"Less 'let them eat cake' more streamlined, but still comfy." Eggsy offered. "Like your sweaters. We need to find furniture like your old sweaters."

Merlin smiled because that was perfect. They tossed all the fancy stuff and slowly replaced it to feel more like the current Arthur. Merlin kept an open door policy and was very hands on with the agents as they repaired the world.

Which at its core meant that Eggsy hung out in Merlin's office a fair bit when not with his friends, settling his mum and sister into their lives, or out on missions. He would just read or play on his phone, but mostly he was there to remind Merlin to take breaks and eat, and make sure the job of Arthur didn't kill him.

And if there were a few extra smiles, a touch of hands, offers to go out for drinks, well Merlin ignored them. He knew the lad was just being friendly, helping him adjust to the new position. Filling the Harry role just a little.

He wouldn't let himself notice how good Eggsy looked in his suits, how warm his hands were when they brushed against him, how many times he had woke covered in a blanket on the sofa in his office. A blanket he had never started off with.

 

England and the world recovered. Merlin grew into the job of Arthur. Eggsy became an incredible Galahad.

And all too soon it was already Christmas. There were bows and ribbons everywhere, even a tree in the big ballroom. 

It was late and Merlin was going over field reports and Eggsy came in with biscuits and cocoa. "Hey brought you a snack. Take a break would ya?" Eggsy flopped into what was generally considered his chair. At least no other agent ever sat in it.

"Thank ye lad, the words were getting a little blurry." Merlin leaned back and sighed a little, rolled his neck. "I might actually leave tonight."

"That'd be the first this week. You need to take it easy a little more. Perhaps go on a date or something." Eggsy suggested.

Merlin pretended not to hear the uptick, that bit of hope in his voice. "Haven't actually dated in a long time. Was always rather rubbish at it."

"Come on, you ain't ugly." Eggsy said cheekily. "And really, no sweetheart to kiss under the mistletoe?"

"Nae, not for years. The last man I had a relationship with was 5 years ago? Jaysus, it was five years ago." Merlin said with a groan. "Now that's depressing. What about you, a pretty girl on your arm to walk by the Christmas lights with?"

"Not unless you count my sister." Eggsy joked. "So family then to spend the holidays with?"

"Nae. They are mostly gone, or dinnae care for my company." Merlin looked at the clock and saw it was almost midnight. He stood and gestured to Eggsy. "Come lad, let us away to our beds."

"You always sound more Scottish or fanciful when it gets late, you know that right?" Eggsy asked as he stepped out of the office.

"Aye, Harry used to tease me something fierce about it. We had spent the last few Christmases together, two bachelors, a bottle of whiskey and a roaring fire. There were worse things." Merlin heard a clock chime midnight. "I miss him. I wish -" Merlin cut himself off. He looked at Eggsy, at the gorgeous lad, he absolutely didn't have a crush on.

Eggsy smiled. "What do you wish?" He asked softly.

"I wish that the last thing he had promised me could have come true."

Eggsy looked confused but Merlin wouldn't say more. They left on the bullet train and parted ways outside the tailor shop.

 

In the morning Merlin stood under the shower, just enjoying the heat and the water. He soaped his body down and lingered over his cock. He thought of Eggsy's smile, of Eggsy's hands, and started to pull slowly. He thought of the footage of Eggsy on his last honeypot and imagined that he was standing there, instead of the mark, imagined how Eggsy's mouth would feel around him. He began to work himself harder and faster as the water pulsed on his shoulders.

"You know, if you just asked him out already, he could be in there with you having some fun, instead of you having a sad, lonely wank." Harry said.

Merlin let go of his cock and grabbed the knife that he kept on the shelf in the shower. He pushed open the glass door and flung it. 

He watched as it went through Harry and struck the wall.

Merlin stood there, gasping, water falling onto the floor, erection gone.

Harry smiled and waved a little. "Hello Maddock." Harry had been the only one at the table besides Chester to know his birth name. 

"Don't you hello me! You're dead."

Harry looked down at his legs which were just a little see through. "Oh my god! No, no it can't be!!!! How ever did I not survive a close range bullet to the head? Say it isn't so Merlin." Harry grinned and adjusted his suit jacket just a little, straightened his tie. "Sorry, meant to be here a while ago, but -"

"But why should your ghost be any more timely than you were when alive." Merlin grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist. "Why are ye here Harry? Shouldn't you be annoying the devil?"

"Who's to say I'm not?" Harry countered.

"I will perform an exorcism."

"Won't work."

"And why not?" Merlin asked, crossing his arms. 

"Because you wished for me. A Christmas wish at midnight, combined with my own feelings of unfinished business and here I am to help you." Harry sketched a bow.

Merlin took a moment and then realized what Harry meant. "No." He said. "Nae, you cannot be serious."

Harry began to moan and hold out his arms. He made his voice deeper, resonant. "I have returned from beyond the grave to finish my last desired task from while I lived. I have come dear friend to help you. I have returned from the unknowable realms, from fathoms you cannot begin to comprehend to get you laid."

"God save me." Merlin whispered as he stared at Harry's ghost.

"What do you need God for, you've got me. I'm far better dressed. Now do you need me to leave so you can finish wanking, or can we get started on plans to get you some Christmas Eggsy?" Harry grinned. Haunting Merlin was going to be fun.