Chapter Text
In the end, Gongyi Xiao didn’t even know who had killed him. He had aided Elder Shen’s temporary escape, unable to stomach the disrespect his sect had heaped on the Peak Lord. As he returned to check on his unconscious shidi his mind swirled with the start of his apology speech to his Shifu. He imagined himself as contrite, but unbent. He was already planning on bringing up his grievances against Luo Binghe, whose behavior towards his former master was clearly unscrupulous.
With his eyes focused on the hallway before him, he saw nothing. With his mind occupied by his imagined future, he heard nothing.
The pain was very brief…and then there was nothing.
He found himself blinking slowly in a murky darkness. He didn’t appear to be standing on anything, merely existing in a plane of swirling greys and depthless blacks. For a long moment, he simply stared out into the nothingness.
“I…I…” His traitorous voice couldn’t even say the words.
His hand crept up to his throat where he had felt deceptively slender hands, grab, and twist .
He had…he…
“I just…wanted to help…” He said softly into the abyss.
He didn’t want to cause trouble. Didn’t want to bring shame to his sect. He just…couldn’t stand by and wait as injustice was done to a good man. Elder Shen was kind no matter what his fellow disciples and even his Shifu said when Luo Binghe showed up at their gates, looking so troubled when his former Shizun was brought up in conversation. Gongyi Xiao had witnessed that kindness first hand and couldn’t bring himself to fully believe the accusations laid at the man’s feet.
During the debacle in Jinlan, his doubt only grew when he caught the very brief look of…almost vindictive glee on his master's face as Shen Qingqiu was bound and taken to be thrown in the water prison. Everyone's focus had been on the Peak Lord, but Gongyi Xiao had looked to his master for guidance for the guilt that twisted his stomach. He thought, at first, that maybe he imagined the look. He often misinterpreted the expressions of others, much to the endless amusement of Xiao Gongzhu.
In normal circumstances, he would have brushed it off and supported his Shifu’s decision as a wise and experienced elder, but Shen Qingqiu was a scholarly, and wise Elder himself. Thus his eyes hadn’t turned away, they hadn’t lowered in respect, instead, he watched, and as the days of Shen Qingqiu’s imprisonment continued he had seen the light of triumph in his Shifu’s eyes shine brighter and brighter. Even Luo Binghe who always seemed to prioritize currying favor with the Palace Master had seemed to realize Shifu’s entanglement in Shen Qingqiu's fate and had grown colder as a result.
He couldn’t help but wonder…was Elder Shen the first to be thrown into the water prison on an accusation alone? Was it possible innocents had suffered…and Gongyi Xiao hadn’t known because he hadn’t looked?
Gongyi Xiao clutched at his chest in shame, tears burned threateningly in his eyes.
It didn’t matter now, did it?
He was…he was…
Ding, Ding!
He stumbled back from the sudden pale blue light that appeared in front of his face. Gongyi Xiao blinked a few times and squinted at the brightness. There were words…
[Activation Code: “Second chances for beloved canon fodder.” System automatically triggered.]
As his eyes slowly focused on the words in front of him, a woman’s voice rang out of the darkness echoing around him reading the characters in a polite but cold tone. He flinched, glancing around for the source, but found nothing outside of himself and the glowing blue pane still hovering before him. He reached out to touch it, wondering if it was as smooth as it looked, but his hand passed through, his fingers tingling slightly at the contact. He withdrew hurriedly.
“Hello?” His voice sounded small and scared. Nothing like the proud Huan Hua Palace disciple he was in life.
[Welcome to the system. This system functions in line with the design concept ‘We can fix anything with fanfiction’; we hope to provide you with the best experience. It is our sincere wish that you can avoid your death as background canon fodder and live a fulfilling life! We hope you enjoy.]
Although the words seemed positive in nature the woman’s voice held little inflection as though reading a script. It felt…lifeless.
Gongyi Xiao shivered and opened his mouth to ask at the unfamiliar terms- “Shixiong! Ah, is Shixiong listening to this one?” A slim hand waved in front of his eyes, nails painted a pale pink and trimmed into delicate points.
He remembered…he remembered in their last conversation turned argument those same nails had dug into his cheek when his Shimei slapped him for speaking out against her new love, Luo Binghe.
Gongyi Xiao blinked and blinked again before abruptly dipping into a bow. “This one apologizes to Shimei”
His Shimei, Xiao Gongzhu, giggled at his formality and danced into his space, hands reaching up to pat his cheek. He tried to hold back the flinch, to no avail. She paused at the movement and abruptly pulled her hands back to clap them together instead.
“Silly! Shixiong can make up for his lack of attention by bringing me a gift from the Immortal Alliance Conference. This Shimei expects Gongyi Xiao to win first place, and bring back lots of wonderful stories!” Her lips curved into a pout and she threw a look over her shoulder. “Shixiong must promise to do this since Baba has decided that this poor disciple will remain here instead of participating.”
“Do not be that way,” The Palace Master chided, warm and indulgent as he always was with his daughter. “It is for your own good. Gongyi Xiao will bring you your gifts and tell all the young disciples about his triumph at the conference.”
There was no doubt in his Shifu’s voice. As though it was merely a fact that Gongyi Xiao would bring honor to their sect. Such high praise. The praise he had earned through his training and determination, but the acknowledgment of his success had always warmed his heart. Especially when that praise came from the person he respected most in the world.
Now he just felt sick.
What was happening?
Was that future -his memories- a lie? Or a dream?
In his mind's eye, he saw Shifu's vindictive glee, and Elder Shen’s shivering form, weakened by the immortal binding cables and debased by his former student. It had all felt so real, including the moment his neck was snapped abruptly. Could he have imagined it?
“Shixiong?” Xiao Gongzhu called out to him when he failed to respond. Then again, more gently. “Gongyi-ge?”
Gongyi Xiao dragged himself from his frantic thoughts and bowed respectfully to the Palace Master. He didn’t know what was happening, so he could only echo the words he often said in the face of praise. “This one can only hope to live up to his master's esteem.”
The Palace Master chuckled, seemingly not as worried as his daughter in the face of Gongyi Xiao’s unusual lack of attention, and waved them off with a casual flick of his hand. They both dipped into a bow at his departure. Xiao Gonzhu turned on him immediately with a worried twist to her lips. It was so heartbreakingly familiar that his breath caught in his throat. When was the last time she looked at him like that? Not after Luo Binghe arrived, he knew that for sure.
“Gongyi-ge this one didn’t mean to pressure you.” Her eyes were wide. “You don’t have to bring me a gift, just focus on your performance.”
He swallowed and tried to summon reassurances, to tell his Shimei he was fine and she need not worry, but even when he opened his mouth the words wouldn’t come. He had never had a good enough face for lying. In fact, he never considered a lie when he could simply tell the truth. His nature was an honest one, as his Shifu often joked.
“This one…I…” He looked down at his hands, trembling in distress. What could he say but the truth?
He opened his mouth again-
[System Warning! Should User share knowledge of the future, his account will be terminated and he will be returned to his original status - death.]
He stumbled back a step.
“Gongyi-ge?” Xiao Gonzhu stepped forward, straight through the blue pane as though she hadn’t noticed it. As though it wasn’t there.
[System Notice: Other characters cannot see the System’s dialogue menu. Conversations with the System are automatically hidden.]
Gongyi Xiao's jaw clicked closed with a clack of his teeth. He bowed hastily before rushing off without another word. He stumbled his way through the hallways, bowing stiffly to familiar faces, and awkwardly avoided conversations with a shaky smile and half-mumbled excuses, until he finally made it to his own rooms.
He leaned against the shut door and reluctantly turned his attention back to the gentle blue light that had followed his every step.
[The System was successfully activated! Bound Role: Gongyi Xiao, Hero of Huan Hua Palace. Huan Hua Palace Sect’s Head Disciple. Weapon: the sword Hé fēng. Starting Points: 100]
Gongyi Xiao stared at the unfamiliar terms, trying to understand what was happening to him.
“Excuse me…ah, please excuse this one’s ineptitude, but is this real? Did this one die and is now back…” He thought back to the conversation moments ago with his Shimei and Shifu. “...in the past?”
[Correct! User triggered the System’s execution command and has been granted the chance to change his future. YOU CAN UP, NO CAN NO BB! As the plot progresses, various point types will become available for the User to spend at his discretion. Please ensure that no score falls below zero, or the System will automatically mete out punishment.]
“Ah,” He didn’t know where to start. Was this some sort of deity? If so, it was nothing like the stories Gongyi Xiao had read or been told. “Points? What does this honored…System mean by points? Scores? Punishment?”
A sound almost like small pebbles clacking together on a path rang in his ears. He winced at the grating noise.
[The System will adjust terms to better support User understanding. Henceforth, points will be referred to as pearls . As User progresses the plot he will gain pearls to be able to spend at his discretion.]
“I…that wasn’t…am I a dragon now?” He took a breath. “Alright, this one understands the concept of…pearls, but was wondering what the System meant by ‘point-pearl types becoming available’ and how can this one earn pearls?”
[Pearl types will become available once the User has progressed the plot. Further information will become available when the plot progresses.]
[User currently has access to H-Pearls which can be obtained through heroic acts. The more H-Pearls one accrues the more likely User will earn a well-deserved happy ending!]
“I…see.” he tilted his head against the door. “This is truly real?”
[The System assures User that ‘this’ is real.]
“I died.”
[...]
[Yes, in the original timeline, User died.]
“Why is this happening to me?” He didn’t think…he didn’t think he deserved it. He wasn’t able to truly help in the end. Elder Shen would have had to return to the water prison once his mission was complete and his master had seemed so certain of condemning the man to execution.
[User's regret triggered the System execution command.]
“My regret?” He tried to think back to his thoughts in the grey abyss.
A firm knock startled him out of his thoughts. He stumbled away from the door.
“Gongyi-ge?” His Shimei’s voice rang out. “Shixiong, this one is worried about you. Would you come out and share a meal? This Shimei convinced the kitchens to make your favorite snacks. If Shixiong wants this one can accompany him to talk to Shifu. I’m sure Baba will understand if Gongyi-ge is worried about participating in the Immortal Alliance Conference.”
Without thinking he threw himself out of the window, mounted his sword, and flew as fast as he could out of the palace and towards the forest.
This was real. It wasn’t a dream. He was truly in the past.
He couldn’t…he couldn’t face her. She was…she was the woman he had once thought he loved. Had thought that she loved him. But how could that be true when her attention drifted to another as quickly as a leaf caught on the breeze?
How could he face the man he had once exalted? A man he had, in his heart of hearts, considered a father, far closer than the one Gongyi Xiao was related to by blood. He had thought the Huan Hua Palace was righteous and just. A golden beacon of goodness and light in their dark world.
He flew until the palace was well out of sight.
How fickle was their love that Gongyi Xiao was left behind the moment Lou Binghe arrived?
He flew until all he could see was trees.
Was that love?
He descended as abruptly as he had taken flight. Branches tore at his robes, and leaves accosted his vision until he tumbled into a small clearing and stumbled through his first few steps on solid ground.
He was in the past.
[System Alert: User emotional status is spiking to unusual levels. This system wishes to inform User that out-of-character behavior-]
He ignored the message and the voice and sucked in a deep breath, noticing for the first time that he was gasping for breath. His chest felt tight. His limbs trembled. He was unable to prevent the sob that left his lips. His hands clutched at his hair; his chest. His eyes burned with the tears he hadn’t let fall in the future. The past? His previous life? His failure?
Gongyi Xiao had smiled his way through his fall from grace. What else could he have done? Once The Palace Master and Xiao Gongzhu had publicly pulled away from him, showing their disinterest plainly, the rest of the disciples had slowly followed by example.
He had thought that it must have been his fault. He must have done something wrong or not lived up to expectations somehow. He had tried his best to train, and study, and meditate. He had tried going out on night hunts to bring glory to their sect, but Luo Binghe would complete greater tasks of strength and cleverness that he couldn’t match. Even if he wasn’t as exceptional as Luo Binghe, he had tried to show progress to his master but was rebuffed and treated like a child who didn’t know when to stay quiet.
Eventually, he did…stay quiet that is.
He bowed his head. Still smiling, because what else could he do?
And now that he had seemingly returned to a point where that love, that affection, that care was not lost...he couldn’t, couldn’t….
He couldn’t smile.
He couldn’t bow his head.
He couldn't pretend everything was fine until he himself believed it.
Gongyi Xiao shuddered through his sobs, tears now blinding him.
If he couldn’t…if he couldn’t smile. If he couldn’t be the perfect Head Disciple…then what was he? Was he merely doomed to repeat the same ending? Or would his inability to play his part lead to an even worse ending?
He coughed and choked up a mouthful of blood.
Gongyi Xiao stared at his hand, now dripping with blood, and stumbled back one step, then two before his back hit a tree and he allowed his trembling legs to give out. He was never prone to coughing up blood like his sometimes very temperamental Shimei. His own emotions had always been as steady as a still pond.
He never…he didn’t have outbursts like this…
Slowly he pieced himself back together. He still felt almost…raw as though his emotions had scrapped his insides with their intensity. Needing a distraction he turned his attention back to the flashing blue light of this…System.
[System Alert: User emotional status is spiking to unusual levels. This system wishes to inform User that out-of-character behavior can result in pearls lost if witnessed by key characters in the upcoming plot thread - The Immortal Alliance Conference.]
[...]
[Is User ok?]
“Ah,” Gongyi Xiao took an unsteady breath and then another. “This one apologizes to the System for his behavior. This one…does not know what came over him.”
He tilted his head down in a weak bow, hoping the being behind the messages wasn’t upset with him. It spoke in an odd tone and used words he was not familiar with, but it also brought him back from death. It gave him a chance to, what did it say? ‘ Live a fulfilling life ’?
The sound of small stones clacking together rang in his ears once more. He supposed that must be the sound of the System thinking or considering something.
[...]
[...]
[This System accepts Users apology.]
He felt a smile tug at his lips, smaller than his usual polite ones, but full of his relief.
“Thank you.”
[...]
Gongyi Xiao rubbed at his eyes and winced at the swollen tender skin. His cheeks still felt flushed and he couldn’t stop sniffling. He glanced almost shyly at the System. “This one…this one can truly change his future?”
[System Notice: As stated previously, the User is allowed to make changes that impact the User’s potential future. However, the User cannot completely avoid or contradict important events.]
“The System will tell me about the important events when they occur? Like the Immortal Alliance Conference?”
[Yes.]
“This one can make small changes then, but not larger ones like not attending the Immortal Alliance Conference or abandoning Huan Hua Palace?”
[Some events must still occur, though their outcomes may change depending on User’s involvement.]
“Thank you.” He bowed his head again with an exhausted sigh. It felt like he had both learned important information and nothing at all at the same time. “This one can ask questions of the System as needed?”
[Yes! The System has 24-hour services that User can use at his convenience.]
He nodded. As the light of the System faded he finally turned his attention outwards. He had flown out of the palace with a reckless abandon that didn’t allow for any thoughts beyond needing to leave and leave quickly. He first noticed the gentle light drifting through the clearing, dappled by the branches of the trees surrounding it. A gentle breeze made the grasses and flowers drift back and forth in a hypnotic fashion.
Despite how calming his surroundings seemed, he couldn’t help but notice the eerie silence. He swallowed thickly and cast another look around the area.
A pair of luminous eyes peered at him from the shadows. Gongyi Xiao’s memories supplied the rest of the unsettling snake monster he had encountered with Elder Shen and Elder Shang, what felt like a lifetime ago. His training nearly made him draw his sword at the very idea the demonic beast had managed to creep so close to him while he was vulnerable, but…
Elder Shen stayed his hand, saving this beast. The Peak Lord had smiled gently down at the creature with a hint of sympathy in his pale green eyes as he explained his theory on its living conditions and had urged Elder Shang and Gongyi Xiao to have mercy.
Elder Shen was kind.
Gongyi Xiao wanted…he wanted to be kind as well.
He didn’t want to ignore unsavory things any longer. If he died once more, he didn’t want it to be with regrets for all the things he could have done, and all the people he could have helped.
[Congratulations. User had found his resolve. User's heroic inner monologue earns him 10 Pearls! ]
He waved away the confusing message with a sigh and slowly eased his way to his feet, careful not to make any sudden movements as he turned fully to face the creature still mostly hidden in the bushes.
“I’m sorry.” He called, wondering for the first time if the creature could even understand him. “This disciple didn’t mean to disturb you with his emotional…outburst.”
At his attention and words, the snake creature darted off, too quick for Gongyi Xiao’s eyes to track. He stood there a moment, looking around the clearing for any signs of the beast.
“Ah, well, this one apologizes again for startling you. This one’s name is Gongyi Xiao.” He hesitated, wondering if a snake demon cared about propriety. “I hail from Huan Hua Palace. There hasn’t been any word from the nearby town of monster attacks, so I’m assuming you mean no harm…”
He trailed off wondering if he was talking to himself, standing awkwardly in the dappled light of the forest clearing. “As long as you do no harm, then I’m happy to allow you to exist in peace in this forest…”
Gongyi Xiao strained his ears for any hint of scales against the leafy ground and found none. He sighed and turned his attention back to himself, finding his clothes and hair lacking he began to make himself at least a little more presentable before returning. Once the robes had been dusted off and leaves had been pulled from his hair, he mounted his sword. He cast one final glance around the clearing, but still found no hint of the creature.
“Well…goodbye.” He said softly and returned to Huan Hua Palace.
[+ 10 Pearls.]