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“I can’t believe they didn’t send your letter in braille, you’d think the people that test us on disability acts would be smart enough to follow them,” Foggy grumbled, searching his computer for the New York bar association’s website.
Matt had stayed near-silent for the past minute or so, wrinkling the legs of his dress pants from how hard he was gripping them. “Mhm.” Both their hearts were pounding, Matt could barely listen to what Foggy was saying with how distracting the thumping was in his head. The only thing allowing him to do so was sheer will, knowing that the next few words Foggy spoke could possibly change the course of his life forever.
“-and another thing, why do they take so damn long to grade everything? I mean… okay, I know why, but still, three months! Three whole months we have to wait. Insane. I feel like a high-schooler waiting for the damn collegeboard to give me my SAT scores.“
“Foggy,” Matt cut in finally, his tone sharper than he had intended it.
“Right. Yeah. The bar scores.” Foggy scrolled through the website, muttering to himself. “Just trying not to lose my shit over here. God, I need an adderall or something.” Foggy’s hands lifted from the computer, palms out apologetically. “Whoops, sorry. Language. Not trying to upset the big man upstairs, not right now.” Foggy felt Matt nudge him in the side, a reminder to stay on track and he shook his head. “Shit, okay, doing it now. I’m done.”
Matt couldn’t decide if the silence was better or worse. At least he knew Foggy was working on finding their names rather than talking, but the suspense without any familiar banter to distract him was suffocating.
Oh God.
Foggy’s heart spiked suddenly and Matt heard his fingers pause on the trackpad of his computer.
“Matt…” Foggy started, scrolling resumed as he presumably started to find his own name after seeing (or not seeing) Matt’s.
Matt’s eyebrows flew above his glasses and he set a hand on Foggy’s shoulder. “Foggy. Foggy come on, you can’t just say that. What is it?” Silence, save for the subtle sounds of Foggy’s shifting mouth as he searched for the words. “Foggy spit it out.”
Foggy’s fingers paused again and he let out a big sigh, shaking his head a bit. “We… fuck, Matthew…” A hand went to Foggy’s forehead, wiping stress from his brow.
And there it was, the drifting off implying enough for Matt to understand. Matt’s face fell and slowly his hand drifted from Foggy’s shoulder back to his lap where they stayed clutched together tightly as he tried to hold everything together. No. No, he couldn’t wait another six months. The office they’d found would be sold by then, and who knows when they’d find somewhere else cheap enough in New York. This couldn’t be the end, Nelson and Murdock hadn’t even *started* yet and as conceited as it was he couldn’t fathom how he had managed to fail after all that-
“-…Murdock esquire. We did it Matt! Hell yes buddy!”
Matt was going to kill him.
Foggy grabbed Matt’s shoulders and shook him lightly, his excitement contagious. “We’re lawyers! Holy shit Matt! I could- I could-“
Matt didn’t kill him.
Instead, shaky impulsive hands grabbed the lapels of his jacket and pulled him in for a kiss.
Four years of college and three years of law school had finally came to fruition. Seven years of his life with Foggy, his best friend, business partner for life, and who had always secretly been more.
It wasn’t much of a kiss. If anything, it was more a smashing of two faces together, their noses squishing uncomfortably between the two of them while Foggy’s eyes stayed wide open. Hands pushed Matt’s torso away and a regretful emptiness enveloped him. What should have been the best moment of their lives, Matt had poisoned with unwanted affection that clearly wasn’t reciprocated. Pulling away, a frog clogged his throat as he struggled to find the words to explain. “Look I- I’m sorry I-“
Before he could finish his sentence, a much nicer version of Matt’s attempt pushed against his lips, and sadness quickly faded to shock, then wrapped back around to the initial excitement of finding out they’d passed the bar, and now so much more. Matt’s hands buffered in air for a quick moment, his brain still trying to catch up, before they finally found their place cupping Foggy’s face. A smile grew on his lips, one he could feel reciprocated quickly on Foggy’s end. Soon, they pulled away, faces lingering just a little too close. After a moment of comfortable silence, Matt broke it with a quick breath. “I’m still sorry.”
“No you’re not.”
“No I’m not.”
Foggy scoffed lightheartedly. “You should be.” Foggy’s smile said otherwise, but he continued despite it. “Weren’t you supposed to be some kind of playboy in college? Shouldn’t you be better at kissing? What happened to that?”
“You.”
Foggy paused, somewhat shocked by the boldness. “Well, isn’t that convenient,” he joked. A hand reached up to his chin, rubbing it a bit and then scratching. “Your stubble is itchy”
“I can shave it.” Matt could feel a difference between him and Foggy, an unending nervousness towards their next moves enveloped him whilst Foggy stayed as calm as ever. It was admirable, really.
Foggy snickered softly to himself. “These one-liners just don’t stop do they?”
Matt rolled his eyes, more noticeable by the tilt of his head than actual eyes. “I just-“
Foggy leaned back and his shoulders relaxed for the first time since the kiss, like nothing had changed. “No, no I’m here for it. What’s next, two guys walk into a bar, two lawyers walk out?”
“Hardy har. No, just…” Matt sighed, trying to find the words. “Whatever happens next after this…” There was a lot, there was more than what he and Foggy were or could be, they also had a business to run, and clients to find, and money to make. “I want it to work. And if that means sappy one liners and- and shaving.” Foggy snickered. “I just want it to work.”
Foggy nodded. This was a pivotal time in both of their lives, and their next moves mattered greatly, more so than he was treating it in the moment. “Yeah, me too buddy. Me too.” As much as he loved Matt and had for a long time, the timing was inopportune. They’d just started on so many paths, adding another to the plate felt like they could be getting close to breaking the camels back. As much as he wanted to, he’d much rather wait for the right time than have their relationship, whatever it became, crumble under the stress.
“Here’s what we’ll do,” Foggy started, already having a plan of action. “We’ll put this- us? Put it on pause, rent out the office, get things set up, hell, maybe even get a client or two. Then, once we’re all settled in, we can start talking about…us. Alright?”
Matt had always been a bit impulsive, even more so than Foggy. At a glance it could seem like the opposite, Matt appearing more strategy-driven and Foggy more goofy and laid-back, but in private Matt always appreciated Foggy’s rationality in comparison to his quick decisions. So, though it hurt to agree too, he nodded. “Alright. Sounds like a plan.”
“Alright then.”
Silence grew between the two of them, and in the midst they merely stared at the other. It had been so much easier waiting when success was uncertain, but now all he could think about was that kiss, the way Foggy felt against him. This was going to be harder than he thought. “Can I suggest an addendum to the plan?”
“Plead your case mister Murdock.” Foggy could already feel where this was going, Matt slowly inching closer, leaning forward even unintentionally.
“It starts tomorrow?”
A pleased smile grew on Foggy’s face, and he wiped a stray piece of hair from Matt’s brow. “No wonder you passed the bar, you’re a great negotiator.”
Foggy broke into a laugh as Matt near-tackled him on the couch, pressing a kiss to his face, before his smug chuckling was silenced with more kisses. There was a lot of work to be done, but even more emotions to work through. They could spare one night.