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Iwaizumi Hajime was really fucking nervous.
He shouldn’t have been. It wasn’t like he was on a blind date, meeting up with someone he’d never met, anxious about who his friends had set him up with this time.
No, this was the exact opposite of that.
Iwaizumi was waiting in a cheerful little cafe, windows lining the walls to let in an extraordinary amount of natural light. It made him feel warm and cozy and happy despite the frown he was pretty sure was plastered on his face from all the nerves he was dealing with as he waited for his date to arrive.
Ushijima Wakatoshi. His date.
He was going to throw up.
Why was this so much more frightening than any other date he had ever been on? Why were his palms so clammy? Why was his heart beating so hard that he was pretty sure the people at the next table over could hear it?
Iwaizumi checked his watch. It was still early. He had arrived far too early, despite the fact that he was more the type to arrive anywhere right on time or even a few minutes late. He wasn’t the best with time management.
However, he’d literally been unable to do anything the entire morning, his mind refusing to focus on the backlog of emails he needed to answer for work, or the Adlers game he had recorded from the night before and intended to watch before leaving for the cafe. No, all he had done so far with his day was pace around his apartment, change his shirt four times, down three and a half cups of coffee, and frown at himself in the mirror before finally leaving to sit anxiously in the cafe instead of anxiously on his own couch.
He took a long drink of water, grip tight on the glass. This was ridiculous. Ushijima was his friend . Sure, maybe their friendship was a little different because Iwaizumi had been in love with the other man for years, ever since they had reconnected after high school in California. But they were still friends first and foremost, even if they were finally trying something a little different. Something a little more .
Iwaizumi couldn’t help but think back to how he’d finally asked Ushijima on a date, how they’d been unloading their bags from the shuttle dropping them off at the Olympic Village. How he’d seen the way Ushijima’s shirt had pulled tight across his chest as he’d lifted several bags at once. How the question had just spilled out of him.
“Would you want to get lunch together?”
Ushijima had paused, brow quirking a bit.
“Right now?” he’d asked slowly, and Iwaizumi had felt his face go red as he wished for the ground to open up and swallow him whole.
“No, uh,” he’d sputtered, turning away under the guise of grabbing another bag. There were no more bags to be grabbed. If Iwaizumi had been a cat, he would have lost one of his nine lives then. He slowly turned back to face Ushijima, his friend, the probable love of his life. “After all of this. When things calm down. Would you want to get lunch together?”
They had stared at each other for approximately seven seconds, but what had felt to Iwaizumi like seven devastating years. Ushijima’s face had finally relaxed, something almost like a smile twitching on his lips.
“Are you asking me on a date?”
Iwaizumi had turned away, had begun walking toward their destination. He didn’t really know why he hadn’t expected this. Ushijima always just said things, like it was the easiest thing in the world to blurt out words that would make Iwaizumi melt a little inside.
“Uh,” he finally said, once Ushijima moved to follow him. “Yeah. A date. With me.”
Honestly, he wouldn’t have blamed the other man for turning him down, considering the fact that he was an absolute mess who couldn’t seem to communicate properly and whose ears were so red they might actually catch fire.
The silence was short, but still too long, and Iwaizumi felt itchy under every part of his skin as anticipation mixed with dread inside of him.
“I would love to.” Ushijima’s words had hit like a punch, but it was a punch Iwaizumi would gladly take over and over again. He’d looked over at the other man, looked up slightly into his steely gaze. He’d been smiling, truly smiling, then, and Iwaizumi felt another of his lives flit away, a happy, wonderful death.
Iwaizumi had survived that absolutely horrendous encounter, had come away from it with not only a date, but a date with the man he sometimes daydreamed about spending the rest of his life with. If Oikawa knew about that, he’d never let him live it down.
If he’d survived that, why the fuck was he just about a thousand times more nervous for said date?
A clatter of plates being haphazardly tossed into a bin as a table nearby was bussed had Iwaizumi nearly jumping out of his skin.
He needed to calm down, really fucking quick. Ushijima would be there any second.
A buzz sounded from his pocket. Iwaizumi pulled his phone out, glancing at the text he’d just received.
Oikawa: i know you’re freaking out right now, but just breathe and remember how much you want him to crush you with those massive thighs ;)
Iwaizumi laughed. And just like that, he felt a little better. His shitty, annoying friend knew him, maybe a little too well. But Oikawa knew what to say to make him relax, every single time.
The bell above the front entrance chimed, pulling Iwaizumi’s attention away from his phone. His heart leapt into his throat, but it didn’t feel so bad anymore. In fact, as his eyes met familiar olive ones, Iwaizumi felt the last of his nerves slip away.
He smiled wide as Ushijima walked toward him.
~
Ushijima Wakatoshi didn’t get nervous. It just wasn’t a feeling he usually needed to deal with.
Which was why he had been standing outside the little cafe for the last five minutes, trying to figure out how to deal with the slight anxiety he was feeling.
He supposed it could have something to do with the fact that he hadn’t been on a proper date in, well… a really long time. He’d never been one to date much in the past anyways, and ever since his mishap with Oikawa last year, Ushijima had steered clear of the dating scene completely.
But this was basically just another lunch with Iwaizumi. They’d had lunch together before, many times. It was really no different.
There was a new layer to it this time. It had become increasingly clear to Ushijima that his friend seemed to have feelings for him. He wasn’t sure how long they’d been present, but he was sure that they were there. He may come across as clinical and aloof to others, but he wasn’t ignorant. He could read the emotions of others, most of the time. Some of the time.
Maybe that was it. Maybe he was nervous about the extent of the other man’s feelings. Ushijima stepped toward the door, hyping himself up a little to open it and finally walk in, a deep breath in just like how he readied for a serve.
He failed.
Ushijima stepped back, leaning against the cool brick wall, pushing a long breath between tight lips.
He was a little nervous about his friend’s feelings. Iwaizumi had never treated him differently, but Ushijima was beginning to wonder if there had been things there, things present for a long time, that he hadn’t picked up on.
They’d known each other for so long. Had Iwaizumi liked him since high school? Surely not. Surely Ushijima would have noticed it back then. Although he had always been a little distracted by Iwaizumi’s best friend.
He rubbed a hand down his face, sighing long and hard.
Did it matter how long Iwaizumi’d had feelings for him? Probably not, but maybe a little. Because Ushijima hadn’t returned those feelings. Not until very recently. Not until he’d stopped looking in the direction of one Oikawa Tooru and had instead looked toward the man who’d always been standing right there next to him.
Ushijima had always thought Iwaizumi had pretty eyes. Such a soft shade, cooler than the green of his own. Over the last several months though, Ushijima had found himself drawn to those eyes more and more. As though once he’d remembered just how pretty they were, it had become impossible not to search them out at every opportunity. It had led him to realize there were other things about his friend that tended to draw him in. The way Iwaizumi would snort out a laugh whenever one of Ushijima’s teammates said something exceptionally dumb. The way his grin was a little crooked, promising a hint of something wild and fun. The way his work uniform fit, black shirt tight across his chest, sleeves hugging his massive arms like a second skin, pants that clung to his ass in a way that had Ushijima staring so hard that he almost felt ashamed.
Almost. Not enough to stop though.
At first he’d thought it was just physical attraction. Iwaizumi was really hot now, it was simply a fact, anyone would agree. But once Ushijima had pulled his head out of his own ass and had actually begun to take notice of his friend in that way, it soon became apparent that maybe it was more than just something physical that his body and mind were reacting to.
Where others would take his bluntness the wrong way, often , Iwaizumi always just took anything he said at face value. Never reading too far into his words, always accepting them as just that, simple words. The way they could fall from easy, laughing conversation into comfortable silence, neither feeling the need to fill it with nervous small talk. The way Iwaizumi would watch him sometimes during his stretches. Eyes a little dark with something more, gaze heated… right before carefully critiquing his stance and offering quick advice, sending Ushijima reeling from the whiplash of those few moments.
It was more than just physical attraction, Ushijima was sure of it. So what did it matter if Iwaizumi had felt this for far longer?
It didn’t.
Because, as Ushijima took an opportunity to glance through the window of the cafe’s front door, he could see the other man already seated at a table. He could see that his friend looked just as nervous as he felt, until he glanced down at his phone, scoffing at whatever he saw there before his pretty eyes crinkled with a smile.
Iwaizumi was his friend. They both wanted to try out something more than friends, but regardless of how this single date went, or any follow up dates that it may lead to, Ushijima was quite sure that their friendship would remain sturdy and in place.
He didn’t need to be nervous, and he didn’t want Iwaizumi to feel that way either.
That thought bolstered him, made him feel a little more steady. Because he would do anything to make the other man feel more comfortable, anything to keep from being a source of anxiety.
Ushijima pushed off the wall, smoothing out any wrinkles in his shirt before opening the cafe door.
Their eyes met as he approached the table, and just like that the tension dissipated. Iwaizumi smiled at him, wide and charming, a little bit of color tinting his tan cheeks. Ushijima took the seat across from him, unable to pull his gaze away from those pretty green eyes.
“Hi,” Iwaizumi said, flushing a little more under Ushijima’s attention.
Ushijima felt a smile tug at his lips. He finally broke his stare away, looking down as his own cheeks heated, just a bit. He grinned down at the menu before him. “Hi, Hajime.”
~
Ushijima stretched, his thighs pulling taught with the motion. Iwaizumi thought he might pass out.
Those shorts. It was the damned shorts.
Sure, they were standard length, but fuck, they didn’t seem to ride that high when anyone else on the national team was stretching. Iwaizumi was supposed to be working, but all he could think about was how he desperately wanted to sink his teeth into the soft parts of Ushijima’s inner thighs.
Some cosmic force finally pulled Iwaizumi’s gaze away from those thick, wonderful thighs, but his relief was short lived. Olive eyes met his own, stared hard at him as Iwaizumi felt his cheeks heat up, before Ushijima’s lips tilted into a smirk.
Ushijima Wakatoshi had just smirked at him.
Iwaizumi might have passed away then and there if Hinata Shoyo hadn’t bounced up beside him, asking for advice on a new exercise he’d been told to incorporate into his daily regimen. Iwaizumi spent the rest of the practice time moving between players, helping out one before moving to correct the form of another, studiously avoiding Ushijima for the rest of the time. Avoiding letting his gaze land back on those damned thighs.
They had gone out just once more in the week and a half since their first date. Another casual meetup for lunch. No room for anything physical to really happen, but the idea of it, of anything really, had certainly crossed Iwaizumi’s mind. Many times.
The idea of what Ushijima might taste like had crossed his mind as they’d said their goodbyes after that second date. The idea of what Ushijima’s big hands might feel like gripping onto his waist had crossed his mind when he’d watched him absolutely obliterate a volleyball with a spike. The idea of how easily Ushijima’s thighs might bruise if he sucked hard enough on them had crossed his mind when he’d been laying in bed the night before. The idea of Ushijima holding him down and having his way with him had crossed his mind earlier that day when Iwaizumi had been in the shower, one hand wrapped around his cock as he bit into his arm to stifle a moan.
No, nothing physical had happened between them. It had all been very chaste, as though they were still just friends hanging out like bros. Iwaizumi thought that maybe his skin was going to melt off if he didn’t feel the other man’s hands on him soon.
Practice wrapped up, most of the team heading to the locker room to shower and change. Iwaizumi was making some notes in his phone when he suddenly sensed a presence looming behind him. He slowly turned around.
Ushijima stood before him, hair a little sweat-damp, but otherwise he looked completely unaffected by the hard workout he’d just finished up. He was staring at Iwaizumi with something he couldn’t quite place, but that had his insides fizzing a little bit.
“Follow me,” Ushijima said, turning to walk away abruptly. It would have been ominous if Iwaizumi hadn’t seen the other man’s eyes flit down toward his lips. Iwaizumi felt like a furnace lit up within him, suddenly hot all over, and he had to clear his throat before doing exactly as Ushijima had said.
He followed his friend, his boyfriend , out of the gymnasium. His mind hung up a little on the word as they walked slowly, Iwaizumi a pace behind the other man. Boyfriend. They hadn’t really talked about it, what exactly they were to one another. Iwaizumi just sort of assumed it would be okay to refer to the other man as though they were in a committed relationship.
What if it was too early for that though? He didn’t have a ton of experience with dating. For one, he had prioritized his education and career. For another, he had been half way to in love with the same man for far too long.
Iwaizumi was spiraling, just a little, a bad habit he had probably picked up from Oikawa at some point over the years. That word, boyfriend , was repeating in his head over and over as Ushijima turned them down another hall and pulled them into a dark office, flicking the light on.
“Whose office is this?”
Ushijima turned at the question, facing Iwaizumi fully. He shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Oh,” Iwaizumi said. The word lingered in the air between them. Iwaizumi stood frozen in place as Ushijima leaned back against the desk that took up a good portion of the small room. The other man’s hands braced against it, and the shift in his stance caused his shorts to ride up slightly. Iwaizumi couldn’t help but notice, couldn’t help but stare. Just a little.
“I really wanted to kiss you but I didn’t want to do it in front of everyone.”
The words pulled Iwaizumi’s eyes back up, and he flushed a little at both what Ushijima had just said and the fact that he’d been blatantly ogling his legs.
“Oh.” His mind whirled, two thoughts battling it out within. Ushijima wanted to kiss him, which was excellent news. Ushijima did not, however, want to kiss him in front of his teammates, which was news that Iwaizumi didn’t really know how to take.
“Are we keeping this a secret, then?” Best to just blurt it out, regardless of the fact that speaking the question made him feel like his heart was going to beat right out of his chest.
“No,” Ushijima said simply, eyes widening just a fraction. “Unless you want to…”
“No!” Iwaizumi said, maybe a little too loudly. It was just that he’d waited for this for so long, and the idea of keeping what was now his favorite part of every single day a secret sounded absolutely terrible.
“That’s good,” Ushijima said, leaning forward a little. Iwaizumi couldn’t help but move then, stepping forward as though he were being pulled by a gravitational force. “Because I might have already mentioned something about us to the team.”
“Oh?”
Ushijima nodded as he reached a hand out, latching his fingers around Iwaizumi’s wrist and tugging him a bit closer.
“Miya wanted to know who I was texting when we all went out for drinks the other night,” he said. One hand still held Iwaizumi’s wrist, the other carefully lifting, a thumb brushing along his jaw and sending sparks down Iwaizumi’s spine. “I told them it was my boyfriend. They had a lot of questions.”
Iwaizumi snorted out a small laugh. “Of course they did.”
“Can I kiss you now?”
Ushijima’s eyes were trained on Iwaizumi’s lips, a large hand sliding around to the back of his neck. Iwaizumi didn’t answer, instead moving forward, closing the remaining distance between them.
It was even better than he’d daydreamed about.
Ushijima tugged him closer as their lips pressed together. The kiss was soft, until it wasn’t. Until Iwaizumi’s hand rested on Ushijima’s thigh and his brain short-circuited as he felt the muscle there tense at his touch. He dug his fingers in slightly as Ushijima deepened their kiss. Iwaizumi opened up to him, gasping a little as Ushijima tasted him with abandon. The hand at the back of his neck tightened, a thumb pressing at his jaw and tilting his face slightly. Another hand moved to grip his waist, and Iwaizumi couldn’t help but wish the touch were directly on his skin rather than through the fabric of his tucked in shirt.
They broke apart after a few charged moments, both of them breathing heavy against one another.
“Fuck,” Iwaizumi said, voice a little hoarse. “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.”
Ushijima smiled at the words, bright and maybe a little surprised. Seeing it made Iwaizumi’s blood sing in his veins, had him returning the look with a crooked grin of his own. He slid his hands up along Ushijima’s thighs, holy shit he was finally touching Ushijima’s thighs, letting them fall to rest on the other man’s hips.
“Practice feels a lot longer when you’re here,” Ushijima said, leaning forward so their lips brushed together again. “When you watch me like that.”
“Sorry,” Iwaizumi said, still grinning against the other man’s lips.
“I don’t mind.”
Their next kiss was slower, soft and languid, all of the same heat still there between them, burning like gentle embers. They might have gone on like that for hours if Ushijima’s insides hadn’t made it clear that he was hungry.
“Come on,” Iwaizumi said, hands cupping the other man’s face as their foreheads pressed together. “Let’s go get some food.”
Ushijima’s grip tightened slightly where he held Iwaizumi’s waist, his palms splayed over hipbones, fingers pressing in a way that made Iwaizumi want to forget about food completely. Another growl from his stomach had both of them chuckling, still a little breathless.
They had to right a few things on the desk that their activities had disturbed, a few papers fallen to the floor and a picture frame they had knocked over. As they left the room, Iwaizumi felt a hand slip into his own. Their fingers tangled together. Ushijima’s palm was slightly larger, more calloused than Iwaizumi’s was. He couldn’t keep a small smile from pulling at his lips, a slight flush still heating his cheeks.
Hand holding as they walked to dinner. Leaning in close to one another as they chatted throughout their meal. Another heated kiss as they said goodnight, bodies pressing closer than before.
As Iwaizumi made his way to his apartment, it all felt a little surreal. A year ago he’d figured he would be pining over Ushijima Wakatoshi until the end of his days, and now the other man was pulling him into dark rooms and kissing him senseless.
The cool night air brushed against his still warm skin, and Iwaizumi smirked a little to himself. Now that he had finally touched the other man, had finally tasted him, watching him train in those damned shorts was going to be a lot harder.
~
Ushijima smiled as Iwaizumi gasped against his lips.
They were pressed together, Ushijima grinding his hips against the other man’s, wringing another sharp breath out of him. Iwaizumi’s back shifted against the door of the locker room, dislodging a paper reminding everyone to not leave soiled garments overnight. Ushijima pressed into him harder as the notice fluttered to the floor. He pulled away for just a moment, just long enough to flip the lock on the door.
They fit back together immediately, hands pressing and tugging, sliding under clothes to trail along hot skin.
It had been torture. Ushijima typically had no issues controlling himself, his desires. He never had issues focusing during practice . But from the moment he’d walked in the door for today’s training, the moment he’d felt Iwaizumi’s gaze on him, it was like a switch had flipped in his brain.
If he was being completely honest with himself, it had been building toward this the last several times they’d been in each other’s presence. The way Iwaizumi watched him, always so intent, eyes burning into him… it did things to Ushijima that he wasn’t anticipating. Things that he found he really didn’t mind.
They’d been busy, had barely had time to see each other outside of practice and training for the national team over the last couple of weeks. Ushijima had been good, he’d been calm and collected. He wasn’t really a fan of public displays of affection, wasn’t interested in the way he knew his teammates would lose their minds if he put his hands and lips on Iwaizumi the way he wanted to.
So he’d been good, when they’d been around others, around their friends. The problem was that they were always around others lately.
He was pretty sure that Iwaizumi was feeling it too. The night before, on the phone, they’d tried to find a blank space in both of their schedules to plan something, anything , and Ushijima thought he picked up on a hint of desperation in the other man’s voice. It’d had heat pooling low within him, and he’d gone to bed with an image of Iwaizumi pressed against him clear in his mind.
And so today’s practice had been torture. Heated looks from the other man had Ushijima’s mind turning with how to solve their problem. He’d waited, drawing out his cool down stretches a bit longer than usual, knowing Iwaizumi would wait as well to walk to the train with him. The moment the last of his teammates had left, Ushijima tugged Iwaizumi into the locker room.
Ushijima shifted, pressing his lips to Iwaizumi’s jawline, trailing kisses down his neck. The other man’s chest heaved, and Ushijima couldn’t help but push closer, desperate to feel every movement Iwaizumi made.
“Are you sure everyone’s gone?” Iwaizumi’s voice was low, tinged with a raspy heat.
“Yes.” Ushijima wasn’t sure, but he didn’t care. The door was locked, if Miya or Hinata or Tobio or Jesus Christ himself showed back up they’d just have to wait to get in. He tugged at Iwaizumi’s shirt, pulling it the rest of the way out from where it was tucked into those unfairly tight pants. He slid his hands under the fabric, gasping a little himself at the feel of the muscles there clenching beneath his palms.
He moved his hands down a little more, fingers stopping at the clasp of Iwaizumi’s pants.
“Is this okay?” He prayed the answer would be yes. Iwaizumi’s eyes went wide, his pupils blown to hide the green of his irises. He nodded, mouth falling open a little as Ushijima deftly unclasped his pants. He moaned at the drag of his zipper, and Ushijima let out a harsh breath at the sound.
As he slid his palm into Iwaizumi’s briefs, craving the feel of hot skin in his hand, Ushijima couldn’t help but note his own desperation. It had never been like this before, this bone-deep wanting that occupied so much space within his body and mind. Sex had been something to enjoy, something to sate desires. He’d thought maybe it could be something more in the past, had even hoped for it once.
It had never been like this before.
Ushijima couldn’t get enough, and it left him reeling. Left him wanting to dominate, to conquer this the way he did everything else. Made him want to turn the man before him into putty in his hands, unravelling under his ministrations.
He sank to his knees, pushing Iwaizumi’s shirt up, pressing his lips to the other man’s navel. Iwaizumi gasped again, one hand flying to fist in Ushijima’s hair as the other splayed back against the door.
Ushijima took in the sight before him, Iwaizumi breathing hard through kiss-bruised lips, eyes fallen shut and cheeks flushed. He moaned a little as Ushijima wrapped a hand around his cock, now freed from his briefs and fully erect. Ushijima’s mouth watered a little at the sight, and the analytical side of his brain wondered if he could take the whole length.
He was going to try.
Ushijima licked a stripe along the underside of Iwaizumi’s cock, the skin hot and soft, and he couldn’t help but moan a little as he took the tip into his mouth, smiling as Iwaizumi’s head fell back against the door with a hard knock. He began to move, carefully, teasing with his tongue as he took the other man deeper with each bob of his head.
He’d been right to worry about whether or not he could take the full length. He was going to need a little help.
Iwaizumi was motionless as Ushijima pulled back. He looked up to see the other man staring down at him. The look in his eyes was almost reverent, as though he couldn’t believe Ushijima would kneel before him like this. It set Ushijima on fire, had his own cock twitching against the fabric of his shorts.
“Hajime,” he said, causing the other man to nearly choke on his own breath. “You can move.”
Ushijima wasn’t sure exactly what reaction he’d expected, but it hadn’t been for the other man’s features to transform into a grin. Iwaizumi huffed out a small laugh, nodding his head as Ushijima took him back into his mouth. This time, as he moved forward, Iwaizumi’s hips bucked, as though he were finally letting himself relax into the attention. He pressed into Ushijima’s mouth, letting out a sound that was nearly a growl. Ushijima wanted to hear it again.
He hollowed his cheeks as he pulled back, ripping another beautiful growl from the man standing above him. That was all it seemed to take for Iwaizumi to finally let go completely. The hand in Ushijima’s hair fisted tighter as his hips rocked. Ushijima took him deeper and deeper, his own hands probably leaving bruises where he held tight to the other man’s hips.
“Fuck,” Iwaizumi gasped, the hand splayed against the door moving to press over one of Ushijima’s, the touch hot and desperate. “Wakatoshi, I’m getting close.”
His words were absolutely wrecked, breathless and yearning, and it only made Ushijima want to work harder. He pressed forward, yanking on Iwaizumi’s hips until he felt the other man pushing down his throat. A moan shook through his own body, the vibrations of the sound finally sending Iwaizumi over the edge. He came with a strangled gasp, heat spilling down Ushijima’s throat as he worked to swallow it all.
By the time Ushijima rose from his knees, Iwaizumi had caught his breath some. He stared, wide eyed, a still looking a little blissed out. He lifted a hand, wiping a bit of the mess from Ushijima’s chin.
The handle of the door behind them shook, a muffled and questioning voice sounding on the other side.
“We should let them in,” Ushijima said, making no move to unlock the door. Iwaizumi grinned that same feral grin, pulling him closer until Ushijima’s still-hard cock was pressed tight against his abdomen. He huffed out a harsh breath.
“They can wait,” Iwaizumi said, voice low and heated. “We have to even the score.”
Ushijima stared, hard. “It’s not a competition.”
Iwaizumi shrugged. “Maybe not,” he said, hands wrapping around Ushijima’s biceps, whirling them around until he had Ushijima’s back pressed hard against the door. The rattling of the handle ceased. “But I like to keep things fair.”
Ushijima grinned back as Iwaizumi sank to his knees.
~
They walked hand in hand toward his apartment, and Iwaizumi couldn’t help but feel a little bit nervous. It was the good kind of nervous, the kind that was usually followed by something exciting, something fun.
It had been three weeks since they’d seen each other last. A series of away games for the Adlers had limited their time together severely. Despite the fact that they talked on the phone most nights, the separation had still taken its toll. At least, it had for Iwaizumi.
He felt a little insane, if he was being honest with himself. He’d wanted the man beside him for so long, for years, and now that he had him, no amount of time together was enough. Three weeks of nothing but phone calls? Actual hell. Iwaizumi had barely been able to keep from leaping on Ushijima the moment the other man had walked through the door of the ramen shop they’d met at earlier that evening.
It had been even worse when, at the end of their meal, he’d asked if Ushijima wanted to come back to his place, and the other man’s yes had been instantaneous.
“You look really good tonight,” Ushijima said, and Iwaizumi chuckled at the way the words came out as a statement of fact. He’d gotten used to it, Ushijima’s particular brand of flirting. If he thought it, he usually said it. Especially when it came to how he felt about Iwaizumi. It was like once they’d gotten closer, a switch had flipped. Iwaizumi never had to wonder where he stood with the other man, how Ushijima felt toward him, because he always just said it.
“You do too,” Iwaizumi replied. He wasn’t just returning the compliment out of formality. Ushijima looked fucking fantastic. A tailored brown blazer hung just right across his broad shoulders, tapered at the waist, emphasizing the jeans that hugged his hips and ass and had Iwaizumi’s mouth watering.
And god, his face. Ushijima looked happy, he looked soft and steady and unburdened, relieved that their time apart had finally come to an end. Iwaizumi couldn’t help but stare a little out of the corner of his eye. He knew he could look as much as he wanted, that Ushijima never seemed to get nervous under his gaze, but it felt too intimate, like if he looked to long then the whole world might suss out how he truly felt about the man next to him.
Because it wasn’t even a joke anymore. Iwaizumi was in love with him.
It didn’t matter that they hadn’t been dating for very long in the grand scheme of things. Iwaizumi had known the man next to him for years, had been his friend for so long, and was finally seeing the last hidden pieces of him. There really wasn’t anything more to consider. He was in love with Ushijima Wakatoshi, well and truly in love with him.
Thinking about it made Iwaizumi feel a little squirmy on the inside. He wanted to just blurt it out. He knew that if it were the other way around, if their positions and feelings were reversed, that Ushijima would have no problem saying exactly how he felt.
Which was part of why Iwaizumi hadn’t said anything yet. Because if the feeling were returned, Ushijima would have said so already. Iwaizumi had known from the beginning of their relationship that he was going into it all with a head start. A massive head start. He knew that, and he didn’t want to put any pressure on the other man.
Iwaizumi could wait. He’d waited this long already, what was a little longer.
They slipped into Iwaizumi’s apartment quietly, kicking off their shoes at the door.
“Want something to drink?” Iwaizumi asked, turning toward the kitchen. Arms wrapped around him from behind. He was pulled back against Ushijima’s broad chest as lips pressed into the nape of his neck. Iwaizumi leaned back, grinning at the touch.
“Hajime,” Ushijima said against his skin, “all I want right now is you.”
Iwaizumi laughed softly. “Yeah, okay,” he said, turning so that they were facing one another. Ushijima smiled down from where he stood taller than Iwaizumi. Secretly, Iwaizumi loved it. He’d bemoaned his height back when he’d still played, back when the aces and blockers from other teams had towered over him. But now? Iwaizumi wasn’t a small man, and he loved that Ushijima was even bigger. Loved that he towered over him, loved how solid and sturdy he felt as they pressed close together.
Iwaizumi tugged him closer, and Ushijima leaned in so that their lips pressed together. It had been weeks since Iwaizumi had felt this sensation, weeks since they’d had their hands on each other like this, and he could already feel an aching need growing low within him. He slid his hands up Ushijima’s chest, splaying them over his shoulders as he pushed the blazer down his arms. It fell to the floor in a heap, and Iwaizumi knew that the inevitable wrinkles would drive Ushijima just a little bit crazy, but that was a problem for in the morning.
Removing one article of clothing seemed to unleash something in both of them. Movements sped up, hands tugging and pulling until both of them were shirtless and Iwaizumi was pushed back against a wall. Ushijima’s mouth was on his throat, calloused palms roughly dragging across the skin of his chest and ribs.
Iwaizumi huffed out a ragged laugh, causing Ushijima to pull back. His gaze darkened as his eyes raked over Iwaizumi’s body, causing him to flush a little under the attention.
“What’s funny?”
Iwaizumi loved how breathless the other man’s question was, loved that it was him causing it.
“Nothing,” he said, pushing away from the wall, grabbing Ushijima’s hand and tugging him down the hallway. “The bed’s more comfortable.”
The good kind of nervous coursed through him again, fluttering in his gut amid all of the heat and desire. As he pulled Ushijima into his room, toward the bed, as large, sure hands moved to unbutton his jeans, Iwaizumi let his nerves wash over him. Let himself soak in the feeling, the excitement for what was coming next.
They’d talked about it. A little. Of course they had. Ushijima had straight up asked him over the phone one night.
“With your previous partners,” he’d begun, his words more hesitant than Iwaizumi was used to from him. It showed how serious he was, if even the ever-sure Ushijima was nervous about the question. “How did you prefer to do things?”
Iwaizumi had been silent for several long moments, face hot as his grip on his cell phone suddenly felt a little sweaty. “How did I prefer to do things?” He’d thought he’d known what the other man was asking him, but his brain hadn’t quite caught up yet.
“Yes,” Ushijima had said, clearing his throat before he continued. “Did you prefer… to top or bottom?”
Iwaizumi nearly choked. He really needed to get used to the way his boyfriend just said things.
“Uh,” he’d begun, his cheeks puffed out as he loosed a long, slow breath. “I’ve always topped.” Was he supposed to return the question?
“So have I.” Nope, of course Ushijima would just tell him.
Oh.
“Oh.”
Maybe the other man was rubbing off on him, because Iwaizumi had felt like his brain-to-mouth filter had disappeared completely.
“I wouldn’t mind,” he’d blurted into the phone, cringing at his own loudness. “Trying. Something different.”
A long pause, as though Ushijima were digesting his words.
“With you, I mean. With you I wouldn’t mind it.” Iwaizumi had cringed at how cheesy the words sounded. Like he was lovesick. But he was lovesick so there was really nothing to be done about it.
They hadn’t talked about it again after that phone call, but Iwaizumi had definitely thought about it more. He’d thought about it a lot actually, probably too much. And so, while he was still a little nervous as he slipped out of his jeans and let himself be pushed back onto his bed, while Ushijima knelt between his legs, drinking him in completely, Iwaizumi was more excited than anything. Anticipation curled inside him, evidenced by how hard he already was as he watched Ushijima shed the last of his clothes.
“Are you just going to look?” Iwaizumi asked, grinning as he cocked a brow. When Ushijima grinned back at him, holy fuck , it was the most attractive thing Iwaizumi had ever seen. He surged upward, yanking the bigger man down to meet him in a crash of lips and a tangle of limbs.
It wasn’t long before they were panting against each other, skin already damp with sweat everywhere their bodies met. Ushijima was hard, his heavy cock pressing into Iwaizumi’s thigh and driving him absolutely mad. He reached down, curling his fingers around it, drawing a groan from the other man as he languidly pumped him, slow and steady.
Desperate for some relief for himself, Iwaizumi shifted, attempting to close his hand around both of them at once. A task that turned out to be, frankly, impossible. It was a nice thought though, and the movement of their cocks against one another still had him seeing stars.
It wasn’t enough. He needed more and he needed it soon. Iwaizumi pressed against Ushijima’s broad chest, earning a cute, breathless sound as he removed his hand from the other man’s cock. He leaned over to his nightstand, quickly grabbing a bottle and a condom from the drawer, pressing the items against Ushijima’s chest. The other man took them, his movements a little more slow, a little more careful.
“Are you sure?”
Iwaizumi’s chest felt tight at the sincerity he saw in the other man’s eyes. If he said no, then that would be that, no questions asked. But he wasn’t going to say no. He’d meant it when he’d said he wanted to try this with Ushijima. He trusted him, completely, implicitly. Iwaizumi nodded, a smile tugging at his lips once again.
“Yes,” he said, breathless. “Definitely sure.”
Ushijima hesitated only a moment longer before strong hands were flipping Iwaizumi onto his stomach. An arm around his waist lifted his hips into the air. The snap of the bottle’s lid sounded through the room as a hand slid down Iwaizumi’s spine before fingers pressed into the firm muscle of his ass cheek. A muttered curse fell from the other man’s lips, and Iwaizumi felt himself flush all the way down to his chest at how exposed he must look.
Soft lips pressed against Iwaizumi’s shoulder blades and Ushijima pressed a slick finger to his hole.
“Tell me if you want to stop,” Ushijima said against his skin.
“I won’t want to stop,” Iwaizumi breathed out, barely able to speak as the other man teased his entrance.
“Well, tell me if you do.”
Iwaizumi laughed a little, fingers clutching the sheet as Ushijima paused. “Okay, I will.”
Seemingly satisfied by that answer, Ushijima’s finger pressed in, sliding inside Iwaizumi and wringing a gasp from him. He arched a little at the feeling, and Ushijima pressed his lips back against Iwaizumi’s skin, waiting for him to relax before continuing to work him open.
One finger turned into two after a while, and Iwaizumi felt as though he were falling apart completely. Ragged breaths against his neck told him that the other man was getting worked up as well, but he was still so careful, so gentle with every movement he made.
Iwaizumi felt the moment the other man pressed in a little further, finally, curling his fingers just right, hitting that bundle of nerves that had him yelling out.
“Please don’t stop,” Iwaizumi gasped as the other man paused at his outburst. He needed more, and he needed it right then. He moaned a little, pushing himself back onto Ushijima’s hand, drawing a ragged breath from the other man.
“Are you ready?” The words were soft, a little shaky against the side of Iwaizumi’s neck.
“Yes, fuck, yes !” he said, pushing his hips back again.
Ushijima chuckled, pulling his hand away. Iwaizumi couldn’t help the sound that escaped him at the emptiness he suddenly felt.
A crinkle of the condom wrapper, and then Ushijima pressed softly to spread his legs a little wider. Iwaizumi tried to stay relaxed, and it really wasn’t that difficult when he thought about how good it had felt just to have the other man’s fingers inside of him.
Iwaizumi felt a pressure at his entrance, strong hands holding his hips steady as Ushijima slowly slid into him. It took a few moments for Iwaizumi to adjust around the other man’s girth, and he knew it was good to go slow, good to be careful and not hurt himself. But fuck , he felt so impatient, wanting nothing more than to slam his hips back and feel Ushijima fully inside of him.
Once he was fully seated inside of Iwaizumi, Ushijima let out a shuddering breath, his fingers digging into Iwaizumi’s hips as he let his head fall forward to rest on his back.
“Is this okay?” He almost sounded pained trying to get the question out.
“This is fantastic,” Iwaizumi responded, just as breathless.
Ushijima took his words as permission to move, carefully pulling back before pushing into Iwaizumi once more, starting up a slow and steady rhythm.
It was good. Really good.
It wasn’t enough.
Iwaizumi pushed up a little from the bed, rocking his hips backward. “Wakatoshi.”
Ushijima halted his movement immediately. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” Iwaizumi said, lifting his gaze toward the ceiling and grinning. “I won’t break. You don’t have to be so careful with me.”
Hands rubbed gently across his back. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Iwaizumi laughed a little. “I know what I’m doing, okay? Now please, I need you to fuck me right now.”
A long pause, long enough that Iwaizumi worried for a moment that he’d crossed a line.
Ushijima rammed into him, knocking Iwaizumi forward hard enough that he reached out on instinct, grabbing onto his headboard for support. The other man pulled back, waiting only a breath before slamming into him again, setting a fierce pace that had Iwaizumi gasping every time hips connected with his ass.
The constant pressure inside of him, the way Ushijima was hitting deep every single time had Iwaizumi’s own cock dripping onto the sheets. A shift of his hips had him yelling out the next time Ushijima drove into him, sparks lighting up his entire body. The bed shook with their harsh movements, banging against the wall in a way that Iwaizumi’s neighbors wouldn’t be used to. The thought would have made him chuckle under normal circumstances. All he could think about then, though, was the need for release building within him. The need to have Ushijima’s hands on him as he filled him completely.
“ Fuck !” Iwaizumi cried out. He pushed against the headboard, using it as leverage to lift himself up, to press back more fully against the man pounding into him. He didn’t even have to say it, it was like Ushijima knew exactly what he needed. One strong arm wrapped around Iwaizumi’s ribs, yanking him back fully as Ushijima wrapped a hand around his cock, slicking his palm with pre-come and pumping Iwaizumi in time with his thrusts.
The feeling of Ushijima behind him, pressed so close that Iwaizumi could feel every shift, every movement, every ounce of strength that the other man exuded, it was enough to finally send him over the edge. Iwaizumi’s head fell back as he came, spilling over the other man’s hand as Ushijima continued to drive up into him.
“Come on,” Iwaizumi rasped, the words barely there. He rocked his hips back with what little strength remained to him. “ Come on!”
Ushijima let out a ragged growl against the skin of his neck, biting down a little to stifle the sound as he came as well, pulsing inside of Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi lifted a hand, raking his fingers through the other man’s hair, pushing the damp strands off of his forehead. Ushijima breathed hard against him as he came down from his orgasm, and Iwaizumi smiled as the other man’s arms tightened around him.
They pulled apart after a few more moments, Iwaizumi flopping back onto the bed as Ushijima went to get something to clean them both up with.
Iwaizumi sat up as the other man came back, reaching out to pull him firmly down into another kiss. It wasn’t nearly as heated, but was still a little desperate. When they broke apart again, Iwaizumi fixed the other man with a knowing stare.
“Since I know you’re about to ask,” he said, grinning up at Ushijima, “I’m fine. That was good. Really fucking good.”
Ushijima pulled back, blushing a little at the words. Iwaizumi wasn’t sure he’d ever seen the other man look so docile, so disconcerted, despite he fact that a smile was tugging at his lips. It was cute .
They cleaned themselves up, Iwaizumi falling back onto his pillow and kicking the blanket away. He was still a little overheated from the workout he’d just gotten. Ushijima slipped into the bed next to him, wrapping his big arms around Iwaizumi in a way that was so similar to how he’d held him tight just a few minutes earlier.
It set Iwaizumi’s pulse racing a little faster while simultaneously lulling him toward sleep. He felt comfortable, safe. Like he was finally somewhere he’d been running toward for so long.
He almost said the words he’d been thinking earlier. Almost whispered his true feelings, almost let them slip out into the darkness of night. Ushijima’s breathing was steady, his face nuzzled into Iwaizumi’s neck. Maybe he was already asleep, maybe he wouldn’t even hear the truth Iwaizumi was desperate to speak aloud into the universe. But with every passing second, Iwaizumi’s thoughts grew a little more sluggish, a little slower and a little less clear. The words were the last clear thing he thought, in that peaceful, gentle time between waking and sleep.
I love you.
~
“What’s wrong?”
The urgent, whispered words pulled Ushijima out of sleep. The room was still dark, and he groggily shifted in the bed to get closer to the man next to him. Iwaizumi was whispering aggressively into his phone.
“So something is wrong.”
Sleep finally slipped away completely as he took in the situation, as the words he heard finally alerted him to the serious phone call happening next to him.
Ushijima pushed himself up, moving closer as Iwaizumi listened for a long moment. The other man finally noticed that he was also awake, leaning back against Ushijima.
“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi finally said, no longer keeping his voice to a whisper. “Just because you needed to start addressing your own problems, that doesn’t mean you can never talk to me about stuff. I want to help you. I’ll always want to help you.”
Ah. That explained a lot, actually.
“Is he okay?” Ushijima murmured. Iwaizumi nodded, and Ushijima could just barely make out the eye roll that accompanied the motion.
Apparently Ushijima hadn’t kept his voice as low as he’d thought he had, because the next thing he knew Oikawa was literally squealing into the phone, Iwaizumi hissing at him. Ushijima laughed at the two of them arguing, earning a glare from Iwaizumi and more giggles from the other end of the line.
He was able to follow the train of their conversation from there. Oikawa had finally decided to make a move on his feelings for Hinata, something that was long overdue in Ushijima’s opinion, and he needed advice from his friend. Apparently they’d attended an event together the prior evening, and Oikawa had maybe missed out on a golden opportunity.
Ushijima leaned back in when there was a pause on Oikawa’s end.
“Ask him why the fuck he’s talking to us when he could just go talk to Hinata right now.”
Iwaizumi grinned, repeating his words into the phone. Another screech came through, but this time he was prepared, holding the phone away from his ear.
The two friends exchanged a few more words before Iwaizumi hung up with a mumbled I love you, Shittykawa. The words tugged at Ushijima, made the fondness he felt for the other man swell into something that he wasn’t used to, something that filled every part of him in a new, singular way.
Iwaizumi sighed, dropping his phone back onto the nightstand and falling back, his head landing softly on the pillow they were now sharing.
“Sorry about that,” he said, voice still low despite there being no need for quiet. But Ushijima thought he understood. Because he felt it too, something in the air around them that was a little new, maybe even a little fragile. Something he wanted to treat with care, but to acknowledge all the same.
“I love you,” he said, the words falling out of him the way most words did. But these weren’t like most words. The moment they were out, they were too big, too loud, despite his whisper, to be ignored or to be taken back. He didn’t want to ignore them, he didn’t want to take them back.
Iwaizumi was silent for a long time. Or maybe it wasn’t all that long, maybe it just felt long because Ushijima seemed to have forgotten how to breathe.
“Oh.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah,” Iwaizumi said, and Ushijima could see his crooked grin in the dark, could hear the laughter coloring his voice. “I thought I was going to end up saying it first.”
“What?” Ushijima wasn’t sure where their conversation was going any longer. He was at least breathing again, though, since Iwaizumi didn’t seem to be laughing at him. The other man lifted a hand, pushing Ushijima’s sleep-mussed hair back from his forehead.
“I love you,” Iwaizumi said, and this time his voice was soft again, gentle, maybe even a little unsteady. “I think I have for a really long time. I was going to tell you last night, but I fell asleep.”
It was Ushijima’s turn to pause. He thought it was only fair to make him squirm for a minute. They were frozen, Iwaizumi’s fingers stilling where they’d continued to rake through his hair, and Ushijima let the silence stretch for a heartbeat longer before laughing. He dropped his head to Iwaizumi’s chest, something he couldn’t really believe he hadn’t taken advantage of yet, shaking with mirth, practically giggling against the other man. Iwaizumi seemed to be shocked into stillness by his reaction.
Ushijima lifted his head, moving to lay overtop of the other man. He pressed their foreheads together, and even in the dark, he couldn’t help but think about how Iwaizumi’s eyes were the prettiest shade of green.
“I’m glad I got to say it first,” he said, pressing a kiss to Iwaizumi’s smile.
~
Iwaizumi Hajime was really fucking nervous.
He shouldn’t have been. But as he sat in the very same cafe where it had all begun, at the very same table, he couldn’t help but notice what things were the same, what things were different.
The waitstaff seemed to be the same, familiar faces flitting from table to table. The light coming in through the windows was different though. A little softer, the golden hour arriving earlier in the day than the first time he’d sat there, waiting for the same person to arrive.
The coffee he’d ordered was the same, exactly what he always ordered when he and Ushijima came here together. The other patrons were different though, new faces sitting in different spots, a new mixture of voices weaving together and filling the little cafe.
The watch he wore was the same, a little worse for wear now, a little older. The weight in his jacket pocket was different. A new, unfamiliar feeling, weighing down the fabric just a bit, matching the weight resting in the pit of his stomach.
Iwaizumi had bought the ring a month ago. Had almost handed it to Ushijima that day, the moment he’d walked through the door of their apartment. He’d decided at the last second to wait, had instead opted to rid the man of all of his clothes right there in the entryway.
He’d been right to wait. Iwaizumi wanted the moment to be perfect. He’d poured over ideas, racking his brain until he’d wanted to tear his hair out. He’d even resorted to calling Oikawa . He still wasn’t sure if that had been a mistake, hadn’t been sure his ears would ever stop ringing from the screech his friend had loosed at hearing that Iwaizumi was planning to propose. But as much as he hated to admit it, Oikawa had given him the right advice, had set him down the right train of thought.
“It doesn’t need to be some big, elaborate thing,” Oikawa had said, his happy voice nearly a song. “That doesn’t seem like you. Or him. Just ask him in the way that feels right for the two of you. He’s going to love it regardless.”
And so, Iwaizumi had asked Ushijima to meet him at the same cafe where they’d had their first date. The other man had been out of town for several games, and Iwaizumi was a little worried he would be exhausted from traveling. But he was also tired of waiting.
Because he had waited so much when it came to Ushijima. He’d waited to acknowledge his own feelings, he’d waited to act on them. He’d waited to tell him he loved him.
Iwaizumi wasn’t going to wait to spend the rest of his life with him.
His phone buzzed from where he’d placed it face down on the table. Iwaizumi picked it up, pretty sure he already knew what he’d see on the screen.
Oikawa: i know you’re freaking out right now, but just breathe. proud of you iwa-chan :)
Iwaizumi laughed, feeling his anxiety evaporate a little. The bell above the front door chimed, pulling his attention away from his phone. As his eyes met familiar olive ones, Iwaizumi felt the last of his nerves slip away.
He smiled wide as Ushijima walked toward him.
~
Ushijima didn’t get nervous. It just wasn’t a feeling he usually needed to deal with, especially when it came to Iwaizumi.
Nevertheless, he found himself pacing outside the little cafe.
He never tended to put a lot of planning into things outside of volleyball. But over the course of his relationship with Iwaizumi, Ushijima had found himself planning things more and more. Dinners, movie nights, weekend trips. Then the plans started getting bigger. Visiting family together, vacations out of the country, looking into apartments in a more central area.
It was all very domestic, and Ushijima found that he liked it. He liked the surety of knowing he wasn’t in it alone, that he had someone else to make all those plans with, someone else to rely on and look forward to it all with.
Which is why he’d surprised himself by suddenly purchasing the ring now hiding in his pocket.
He hadn’t planned it. Thinking about it now, as he paced back and forth in front of the cafe, it wasn’t that he hadn’t ever planned on asking Iwaizumi to marry him. It was something he’d assumed would come at the right time.
Apparently, now was suddenly the right time.
Ushijima leaned back against the cold bricks, their chill seeping through the fabric of his jacket. It helped, a little. Like ice being dumped over his head.
What if it was too soon? What if Iwaizumi didn’t want this yet?
Ushijima furrowed his brow at his own line of thinking, frowning to himself. The thought was ridiculous. He knew Iwaizumi, knew that they were on the same page about this. It was probably going to turn out just like when they’d first said they loved one another, an unintentional race to see who did it first.
This was going to make Iwaizumi happy, and he would do anything to make the man he loved happy.
Ushijima felt a small smile tug at his lips as he pushed away from the bricks, smoothing out any wrinkles on his shirt before opening the cafe door.
Their eyes met as he approached the table, the weight in Ushijima’s pocket feeling somehow heavier and lighter all at once. Iwaizumi grinned at him, wide and charming and crooked, a little bit of color tinting his tan cheeks. Ushijima took the seat across from him, unable to pull his gaze away from those pretty green eyes.
“Hi,” Iwaizumi said, flushing a little more under Ushijima’s attention. Ushijima wondered why, but only for a moment, returning the smile with a wide one of his own.
“Hi, Hajime.”