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Lots of thoughts were invading his mind. However, he couldn't make any movement.
Till was sitting in an empty room surrounded by security guards, unable to do anything other than staring at the wall. Apparently, the aliens caught some intruders trying to get inside the stage, so Till has to stay there in case he tries to escape with them.
In other circumstances, he would have done it. He would have searched for them or at least distracted the aliens. But now it doesn't matter, since she isn't here with him. He was supposed to runaway with Mizi, his goddess, his everything.
Freedom isn't tempting if she won't be by Till's side.
And now she is gone, she was killed when she attacked that blonde guy, whose name seems to be Luka, in round 5. The only person in this hell of a planet who made his situation bearable was gone.
Or that's what he thought until the aliens had started to ask Till where Mizi was, as she suddenly disappeared before dying. Which, he knows it shouldn't be like this, but makes things worse.
If Mizi somehow had escaped in round 5, that would mean that she didn't care about Till enough to take him with her, that she left him behind and chose to be free instead. And it hurts Till, because he actually gave up on being free since it meant leaving her behind years ago. He feels betrayed.
He obviously knew her love belonged to another person and not him. Still, after round 1 and Sua's death, one naive part of him hoped for her to finally fulfill his needs, to finally look at him.
He wonders if Ivan felt the same as him.
Till never cared for Ivan. In his eyes, Ivan was annoying, a boy who only picked on others because he was bored by his own life, another problem that could be forgotten with Mizi's smile. But now, he doesn't know what to think of him.
First, he steals that kiss from him, turning what he thought would be an unforgettable moment with Mizi into an unpleasant and uncomfortable memory. Then, he steals his chance to end it all.
He saw the public being bored by him, he wanted the public to be bored by him.
Ivan knew why Till stopped singing at that moment, why did he sacrifice himself? He couldn't read him, he never did. At least he never thought it was necessary until now.
But the way he smiled as he was dying is the same the way Sua had smiled before getting shot. Did Ivan think of him the same way Sua thought of Mizi? Is that why he sabotaged himself?
If that's true, then they were as different as Till thought they were. Doing stupid things, driven by their emotions, to feel better with themselves, and protect their loved ones.
A sense of guilt starts to enter inside his mind. He betrayed Ivan that night by running at the same direction as the meteors instead of running against them. And then, Till continued to ignore the same boy who followed him, leaving his chance of being free, until it was too late. He could have cured Ivan's sickness, he could have payed attention to him, giving the love he gave to Mizi to him. Maybe he should have escaped with him that night, or maybe not. Maybe Mizi wouldn't have dissapeared of his mind even if she wasn't with him, just like now.
Ironically, and also painfully, even when Ivan sacrificed himself to save Till and make him to look at him, Till couldn't stop seeing her.
Because when Till thought he was about to die on the stage, he saw her hand reaching up to him, instead of his hand choking him. He saw Mizi's warm and gentle smile instead of Ivan's cold and heartless expression. He didn't realize what was really happening until he saw Ivan's dead body on the floor.
He felt terrible. Not just for Ivan, not just for Mizi. He hated himself. Years of rebelling against aliens, enduring all kinds of abuse ended in this.
He couldn't save Mizi and give her the freedom she deserved.
He couldn't save Ivan and give him the chance he deserved.
He couldn't save himself and reach the happiness he thought he deserved.
Till closed and opened his eyes slowly, which started to cry at some point. Then, he noticed an alien communicating with the security guards. He couldn't fully understand them, but it seems that the intruders are under the aliens' custody.
If there had been a slight possibility of being free, it was gone.
Not like Till cared. After all, he was ready to lose the final round. Because he hasn't got anything left to lose now.