Chapter Text
Ezreal had never officially met his neighbors.
When he moved in he didn't go see them to introduce himself and they didn't stop to welcome him either.
To them, he was just the weird foreign young boy who could be found outside the building at weird hours, walking various dogs, in various states of undress. The usual visual was an oversized shirt and a pair of Pokémon printed underwear with or without matching socks depending on whether or not he shaved his legs that day. So, when one of them came knocking, needless to say he was very surprised.
Ezreal opened the door in a similar fashion, make-up smeared and green tinted hair, cut in a good variety of lengths, still ratty from the afternoon he had spent in bed, and nothing more than a fluorescent orange dressing gown to protect his modesty. Ezreal rubbed his smudged eyeliner absently as he stood before the punky (or was it more emo?) guy he knew lived next door.
He seemed nervous about being there, or at least he felt very awkward. He was rubbing the back of his neck, shaved purple hair undercut, trying very hard not to let his eyes wander from Ezreal’s face.
“Hi,” the tiny man muttered, when the stranger didn't say anything.
“Hi.” he answered similarly, before looking over his shoulder. Ezreal followed his gaze and found a bunch of (goth? maybe) man hanging out their door, staring at him and laughing like silly high school girls -which very disturbing, by the way.
“You uh, you're very beautiful” he says in the flattest Zaunite Ezreal has ever heard. He speaks the Piltie variation obviously, but didn’t see the need to correct it.
“Thanks buddy”
The guys in the back broke out in laughter. The man in front of Ezreal drew in a sharp breath like he had been stabbed in the gut saying the following:
“You’d like to go, er, on a date? Date with me?” he tries blandly, staring at Ezreal with a weirdly constipated expression.
Is this kid for real?
The pricks in the back start to mutter to themselves in common Ionian, probably assuming that Ezreal can't understand what they're saying. Joke's on them, he learned the language in the first few months he moved here.
“How much must he not want to do this?” A tall one with a surprisingly very very very husky voice says (has he smoked since 5-years-old? what the fuck).
“Kayn always gets the worst punishments” one with long white bleached hair says laughing, while another black-haired just stares unimpressed.
So they were playing the punishment game huh? Ezreal had played a few rounds himself with a bartender with long hair and a high drinking tolerance, whom he met the first week in Ionia. Ezreal wasn't particularly suited for the game, as he felt no shame no matter the punishment, unlike the boy in front of him, who seemed to want the ground to swallow him up.
Ezreal’s eyes settle on the boy called Kayn and he smiles.
“Yeah, you any good with your hands?” He smiles deviously, and just as what he said registers with the kid, Ezreal grabs him by the collar and pulls him inside, thoroughly scaring the other ones in the back.
The guy, Kayn, stumbles into Ezreal’s apartment. He then starts to stutter broken ass Zaunite that Ezreal can't even make out, making him laugh.
Leaning against the door, Ezreal looks him over, truthfully he is a handsome man. He has a nice build, a handsome face and a good head of hair, not to mention the piercings are sexy. Had it been an actual question, Ezreal would have probably gone out with him.
“Come with me” Ezreal orders as he pushes himself off the door and waddles into the bedroom. Kayn stands there for a second, probably racking his mind on what to do. He eyes the door a fair few times, thinking about making a bolt for the door, away from the crazy foreign boy.
“You coming?” Ezreal says and to his surprise, Kayn reluctantly follows.
Stepping into his bedroom, Ezreal found it a mess. His bed was nothing but a fort of blankets, pillows, stuffed animals and actual dogs. The very reason he needed another pair of hands. The sheppard was a biter.
“The big one is called Ernest, his owner is on vacation in Demacia, and he's had a few molars removed recently and now he won't let me clean his teeth. You good to help out?” He then says in Ionian, and watches as relief washes over Kayn.
“You speak my language...” he says matter of factly.
Ezreal nods and shrugs. Gesturing at Ernest, who already knows what's coming and is trying to hide under a pillow. He shoo the other dogs away and order them into the living room before descending on Ernest who starts whining almost immediately.
“Yah, Sugarcube. Hold him like this okay? By the fur, to your chest, like this” Ezreal instructs. Kayn doesn't question, and listens to him immediately.
He comes to Ezreal’s side, takes a handful of fur and pulls the dog to his chest. Ezreal smiles, he's surprisingly obedient.
Ezreal produces a doggy toothbrush from a box under the bed and pulls at Ernest's lips. The dog starts to whine and yelp at his touch, thrashing in Kayn's arms to get away from him.
“It's alright tiny pupper, this won't hurt a bit. Shhh it's okay” Ezreal soothes as he wedges his fingers between Ernest’s teeth and starts to brush gently. Kayn groans as he tries to keep the thrashing dog in check, and mutters to himself which Ezreal can't really make out.
He's probably cursing him out.
After about three minutes Ezreal gives him the okay to let go, and Ernest darts out of Kayn's arms, to seek refuge with the other dogs. Ezreal flops down onto the ground and grin with a job well done. Kayn groans again and hits his arm with a closed fist, his muscles must hurt from holding that angry beast.
“So that's your dog huh...” he says blandly, he looks Ezreal over with half lidded eyes as if the three minutes have cost him every last bit of energy.
Ezreal shakes his head.
“Nah, like I said, his owner is in Demacia, I'm just watching him. The other three too," he explained.
“You're a ….dogsitter?”
Ezreal pulls a face and shrugs.
“I guess I am. I don't accept any money for it though, I just really like dogs.”
Kayn's quiet for a second, mulling over what the greenette said.
“So, uh, what do you do… then?”
Ezreal smiles at his curiosity, he knows that in the building he is often the number one topic to gossip about. Ezreal was an enigma, and everyone was set to figure him out. This boy was the first to ask him directly, however; other people tended to shy away from him and come to their own conclusions. His left door neighbors were no different, whenever they came across Ezreal they would keep a close watch on him, and whisper to themselves, which he usually found quite rude. Ezreal was well aware that the boys had a bet running on who could figure out his 'deal' first.
“Have a guess,” He tease, before whipping up from the floor to look at Kayn.
Ezreal brings around his legs and makes himself comfortable. He didn't mind this kid winning the pot and impressing the other boys, after all he had just helped him out. But, he wasn't going to make it easy for him.
He shifted his weight from one leg to the other, digging his hands into his pockets, as his eyes traced the room for a clue. It's not that there isn't much to go on, if anything there is too much. After all, Ezreal's bedroom was cluttered to the max with all the different hobbies he had tried out the last few days. Kayn however zoned in on the few books on his night stand.
“Zaunite teacher?”
His guess wasn't as unfounded as Ezreal expected. There was a huge trend in foreigners taking up teaching positions in Ionia, after all there was a certain sense of prestige for schools to have a native speaker teach their classes. Ezreal had actually considered it at one point. As he really didn't need much of a qualification to sign up for the programme.
“Bu bu bu” he booped his nose for the buzzer. “Wrong, and I'm a Piltie actually. One more try.”
Kayn let out a sigh, running his thumb over his (pierced) brow as he thought. He looked Ezreal over once more and shrugged.
“Modelling?”
Ezreal laughed heartily. The punk was clever.
“Flattering but no” He says as he picks himself up from the ground and clumsily rises. Ezreal boops his nose and mouth another “bu bu bu” (which Kayn seems disgusted about) before turning on his heel and plopping down on the bed, drawing his legs up into a Buddha pose.
Kayn eyes him curiously, waiting for the answer. Ezreal smiles.
“Come hear this, cuz the real story is actually hilarious” he starts and pats the mattress next to him. Kayn doesn't sit down and just kind of hovers in the middle of the room as Ezreal tells the story.
“So, a few years ago I wrote an archeology book, right? Twilight, but it came out around the same time those vampire novels did - ya know, faceless girl Le Blanc falls in love with Vlad the bloodsucker, but this old man named Swain is in love with her as well - Ah of course you heard of it, they were mad popular. So, many people bought my book by mistake, and then a lot of people bought it as a joke. So my archeology book was doing really well and I made a lot of money” Ezreal does a cool guy pose before continuing which makes Kayn scoff.
“So I made quite a bit of money right, but then. I get sued, because those vampire novels are losing quite a bit of commission because of me. Big expensive lawyers, it's a whole mess right. But then it turns out that my book hit the bookstores first, and that I've got the copyright law on my side, and I win the lawsuit. So now I don't have to worry about money anymore… like ever” he says casually, scratching an itch on the back of his head.
“So, what I do is just… play around. Well play around and study archeology, of course, it’s my hidden passion.”
Kayn doesn't say anything for a while until he breaks out into a small smile.
“Damn.”
A smile looks good on him. It's crooked and cute. It makes Ezreal want to pinch his cheeks.
“I've not worn pants in five months.” Ezreal brags, and Kayn’s smile broadens into a laugh. It's a childish laugh, pleasant and warm. It made the small one a little giddy.
“I was right, you really are WEIRD.”
Ezreal shrugs. In his life, and especially since he moved to Ionia, he had been called horrible things, weird was a compliment in his book. Besides Ezreal liked himself the way he is, what other people thought of him was worth very little. That and it didn't seem like Kayn was saying it to be mean.
“I should probably go, my friends are probably thinking that I've been murdered in here” he says jokingly.
“Hey, can I ask you to help with Ernest tomorrow too? He's only here for another three days, and he is a handful...”
Kayn looks around the room and shrugs.
“I'm very busy but I feel like I should make it up to you a bit. I speculated some awful things about you. I'll help” he decides casually.
The punk is a good kid.
“Okay, hold on a second” Ezreal throws up a hand, asking Kayn for a second while he climbs over the bed to his night stand where he produces a dark purple lipstick, which he quickly applies to his lips before hopping off the bed. Kayn stares at Ezreal weirdly as he walks over.
“Stand still.”
Ezreal grabs his shirt and the back of his head and angles himself, pressing his lips to his neck and moving them a little to leave a better mark. Kayn draws back, his eyes wide with surprise.
“Yah! What the?!”
Ezreal smiles and shrugs, pointing at the mark on his neck, it stands out aggressively against his skin, a perfect set of lips.
“Here, impress your friends and earn some serious lad points. As a thank you.”
Kayn’s hand finds the mark the tiny one left on him and traces it, smudging the edges, and then he laughs again. He rubs off the purple left on his fingers.
“You are seriously WEIRD!”
Ezreal offers him his hand.
“Ezreal Lightfeather, your certified whackjob, pleased to make your acquaintance.”
Kayn scoffs and takes his hand, it's warm and a little clammy but Ezreal doesn't mind much.
“Shieda Kayn.”
Before he leaves, Ezreal ruffles his own hair some more, trying to mimic that sexed up style, and pulls at his shirt to bare his pale, skinny shoulder. He watches Kayn go and hang in the frame of his apartment as his friends open the door and as he catches their eyes he lets out a deep sigh and bites his lower lip, shocking them into an uproar where Kayn is hit, yelled at, and dragged into the apartment. Kayn's sure to get free drinks for the next few days at least.