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⤪—Baldur’s Gate 3—⤭
…~Campsite Outside of Rivington~...
“Heya, Fringe. Ur-. Well, suppose I can’t call you that anymore.”
Shadowheart scoffed, a smirk blooming on her face at the sound of Karlach’s voice from behind. She brushed a few strands of her fairly new ivory locks out of her face, craning her neck to meet the two glowing sunsets her lover had for eyes. “I can always bring the old style back, if you’d like?”
“Oh no, no, no. Not now, anyway.” Karlach swerved around her, lying down on her side to face Shadowheart, her toned arm propping her torso up. She leaned forward, placing a warm kiss to partner’s forehead. “I’ve been dying to see that forehead since the moment I laid eyes on you, and it’s a mighty beautiful one at that. I’m gonna savor it for as long as I can.”
Shadowheart rolled her eyes, her smile never leaving her lips, “I’m truly ecstatic that my forehead of all things pleases you. I’m sure the nights you spent pent up , dreaming of finally being able to touch people, all you thought about was my forehead to send you over the edge.”
“Mm, I’m more of a full picture kinda gal, but…the thought of it helped.”
“You want to know what didn’t help?” Both women turned to Wyll, his tent some meters away. “Setting my tent up at a distance I figured would be far away enough not to hear things I shouldn't hear coming from your tent. Turns out, I was wrong…again.”
“Oi!” Karlach quickly protested, “In our defence, last time we thought everyone was asleep! And I’m not apologizing for quality time with my Shads.”
“Uh-huh,” Wyll noncommittally responded, already taking down his tent to move it somewhere else at the campsite. “I’ll just ask Gale for any ‘Silence’ scrolls he might have on hand.”
Shadowheart giggled, closing her book and standing up from her rug, “We’ll keep it down, Wyll. I promise. C’mon, you feral woman.”
Karlach looked straight up as Shadowheart hooked her hands under her partner’s arms, making an attempt to drag her inside the tent. The operative word being: Attempt. It didn’t help that Karlach went fully limp the second she tried. “Okay, I feel a little bad, but I have good reason for my feral-ness.”
“I’m aware, darling,” Shadowheart strained out, still trying to drag Karlach into her abode.
“C’mon, Forehead. I believe in you.”
Shadowheart released Karlach with a huff, not even sure why she bothered trying to carry someone twice her size, “First of all: No, absolutely not. Forehead sounds far more like an insult than anything. Second: Get in the tent, or you’re sleeping on your own tonight.”
“Coming!” Karlach quickly sprung to her feet, sweeping Shadowheart off of her feet and entering the tent, her tail closing the flap behind them. She all but fell onto the pile of blankets and furs they had accumulated over their journeys, hugging Shadowheart close during the descent. “Clive can have my tent to himself tonight. Besides, we don’t want him seeing things.”
“You mean you don’t want everyone seeing things, since your ‘tent’ isn’t even a tent.”
“Hey, my tent has walls…I just never bother to put ‘em up.”
“Of course,” Shadowheart giggled, turning her head into Karlach’s chest, the warmth of her engine now more soothing than searing. “I suppose it wouldn’t be much different from our first time, right by the campfire.”
“Uh-huh, and I didn’t hear any objections back then, did I?”
“I suppose you didn’t.” Shadowheart sighed, twisting her body to gaze mindlessly at the roof of her (their, at this point) tent. “Perhaps once we get to the city, we can find somewhere to stay.”
“Oh gods, yes!” Karlach groaned, hugging her tighter. “Everyone here makes it worth it, and this is heaven compared to Avernus, but I think I’m camped out for a while. A real bed— perhaps a room to ourselves— chilled pints that we didn’t loot off of bodies, real food, a ceiling.”
“A room to ourselves? Don’t tease me.”
“Tease? Darling, I’ll fight half the city for that room.”
“Hmhmhm. I believe you. I’m sure there will be plenty of Sharrans that gladly take you up on that offer.”
“Well, luckily for them, they won’t have to come looking for us. We’ll break down their door and smash their skulls in…Wherever they are.” Karlach moved Shadowheart off of her, scooting down the furs until she was eye-level with her, propping herself up on her elbow. “By the way, it’s been a while since we talked about that. You haven’t mentioned your parents since we left Moonrise.”
Shadowheart shrugged, looking up at her, “Not much to talk about, I suppose. I don’t remember them, or anything about them. All I know is that I want my life back.”
“Hm…Well, how about a little, uh…preparation?”
“Snrk, really? Coming from the woman who rushes in, roaring wildly, battle axe above her head in every battle we find ourselves in.”
“Fine, you don’t want to talk ab-” Karlach feigned annoyance, moving to sit up.
“Joking!” Shadowheart laughed out, pulling Karlach back down. “I’m joking. Please, keep going.”
“Okay, okay. When we find them— Not if, when— When we find them, what will you ask them?”
“Well, I…I suppose I’ll start with my name; my real one.”
“Ha! I can’t lie, darling. When you first told me your name, I thought I didn’t hear you quite right. I-...” Karlach froze, her mouth snapping shut at the deadpan glare she was receiving. “Shadowheart is still an absolutely lovely name, though. Smashing, really. I adore it. It sounds so good in my mou-”
“Pushing it.”
“Anyway! What will you tell them about you? Who you are now. They’re not the only ones that have missed out all these years.”
“I…I don’t know. I have no memories to tell them about, and I have a feeling Mother Superior won’t be too keen on giving them back to me.”
“C’mon, Shads! You have loads to tell them. Think of everything we’ve been through. I wouldn’t call any of this a snoozefest.”
“Hmhm, true enough.” Shadowheart moved closer to Karlach, not that there was much distance between them to begin with. She went flush against the warm tiefling, feeling her partner’s sharp nails dance across her diaphragm in the open area of her night clothes. “I’d say I survived an Illithid nautiloid; not without picking up some unwanted passengers along the way.”
“Eh, yeah. Explaining the tadpole and the artefact is gonna be pretty tough. Not to mention the Illithid inside it.”
“I was talking about Lae’zel, but that too. I’d tell them I found truly unforgettable company along the way. Someone who also lost their memories, who for some reason is fighting for their life to resist their barely controllable urge to kill. Her questionable drow lover, who I still don’t know why she was the only leader of the goblin camp we left alive. An eccentric vampire, who lusts for blood, power, and wine. A talkative wizard with a magical bomb in his chest. The metaphorically chained Blade of Frontiers. A githyanki, that I begrudgingly befriended…eventually. Two Druids; one that perhaps is a bit too attached to his bear form, and the other a harper that my lover is more infatuated with than she is with me.”
“Hey!”
“Saved a camp of tiefling refugees, destroyed a goblin camp, defied the Githyanki Lich Queen, along with Shar herself. Eradicated the cursed shadows befalling Moonrise, fought an immortal man who became an avatar of Myrkul-”
“Not to interrupt, darling. But, I’m noticing a distinct lack of something in all this. More specifically, someone… ”
“I was saving the best for last, but if you’re going to be so impatient…”
“No, I-...Nah, yeah, I’m impatient. Talk about me now, please.”
“Okay, okay,” Shadowheart giggled, her fingers running along Karlach’s burning scars. “I’d tell them I met this utterly brutish woman. A tall, strong, gorgeous tiefling with an engine of gold, that wore down the cold walls of my clandestine nature. I’m not sure I would have been strong enough to resist Shar, seek the truth, without her. I’d tell them that I love her more than anything, which is a privilege I thought to be worthless. I was taught that it was worthless, a distraction from my devotion. I can’t imagine what my journey would have been like without her.” Shadowheart reached up, holding Karlach’s chin in her hand as her partner’s flames burned blue. She rubbed her thumb across Karlach’s bottom lip, a smirk adorning her own. “...And I want to ride her until she sees stars.”
Karlach shivered, a sigh escaping her lips, “Gods, I hope you wouldn’t tell them that last part.”
“No, I wouldn’t, but it doesn’t make it any less true.”
“Ohoho, then I’m far more than happy to oblige, baby.” Karlach threw her leg over Shadowheart, but was stopped by a hand on her chest.
“Wait, Karlach. I…I want my parents back. I want this future, but…if they’re alive and safe, then that’s all I need. I don’t have to be with them, live with them.”
“Uh…Alright? Are you sure?”
“I’m just saying that if I have other plans to take care of, I’ll happily do those first. Say, for instance, just as an example…I had to travel to Avernus to fin-”
“No, Shads. No.”
“Karlac-”
“No!” She sat up, looking down at her lover with a furrowed brow and frown. “Ignoring the fact that going to Avernus is the last thing in the entire world that I want, it’s the last thing I want for you. I can’t drag you down with me. You have a life to liv-”
“A life I want to live with you . Your engine was made in Avernus, so I believe that’s where a solution can be found. Will be found.”
“You don’t know that. It’ll be nothing, but devils and carnage. Believe me, that’s not the life you want, Fringe.”
“It is if you're alive.”
“Sha-”
“No, Karlach!” Shadowheart raised up on her elbows, her gaze growing firmer. “Perhaps it’s the Selunite finally coming out in me, but I have hope. I have real hope for you, for us, to beat this. I don’t care if we have to ask Aylin to pray to her mother for guidance. I’ll be bloody at the knees asking for help if I have to, but I’m not going to sit around and expect some divine intervention to grant us a miracle. Especially if we don’t need one.”
“It’s my life, Shadowheart. My decision. I can’t expect you to understand what it was like down there, but I can’t go back. You respected my choice before, so why bring this up now?”
“I said I would accept it ‘for now’. That was back in the Shadowlands. How long has it been since then? How many times have I tried to bring it up to you? Everyday our journey gets closer and closer to its conclusion, you can’t expect me to just ignore it forever. Perhaps…Perhaps it’s selfish of me to fight against your decision. You’re right; this is your life. It’s your choice. But, then I have to ask…What’s the point in any of this?”
“What do you mean?”
“This. Us. I fell in love with you, and you happily accepted me into your life, fully knowing what would happen. We were both there, we both heard Dammon. So, what am I doing then? Being strung along? I’m supposed to just sit back and lose you just as quickly as I found you? I’m supposed to be okay with that?”
“No, I-”
“It would be different if we truly had no options, and I’m not saying we have a wide variety of them, or that they’re exactly ideal. But, we have a legitimate option that gives you a chance for survival, and you refuse to even acknowledge it no matter how hard I try.”
“Shadowheart!” Karlach cut in, hands firmly on Shadowheart’s shoulders. “It’s not just that I’d rather die than go back there. I’d rather die than subject you to that hell. I want to live, but I’d rather you go on with your life happy, than waste your time on me.”
“If wanting to be with you and trying to find a way to save you is a waste of time, then what are we doing now?”
…Yikes.
She didn’t mean to say that. At least, she didn’t mean to phrase it in such a way. She meant to say it in a more sarcastic manner, to emphasize the importance of their relationship to her; that it was anything but a waste of time.
But, with how heated the conversation had grown…
Shadowheart would have taken anger over the look Karlach had on. She had never seen her jovial companion so deflated, hurt, defeated. It was a sight she never wished to see again, and the fact that she was the cause of it was thousands of times more painful than any punishment Shar could inflict upon her.
“...Maybe you’re right.”
“No, Karlach, I-”
“I didn’t think about how much pain I’d put you through. This whole time I’ve been setting you up to hurt. After so long, I just wanted…I…I’m sorr-”
“Don’t you dare apologize. I didn’t mean it like that.” Shadowheart sat up, hugging Karlach tightly as to make sure she didn’t leave. “Here I am, crying to you like a child when you’re the one who’s dying. It’s just that-...I love you.”
Karlach sighed, burying her nose into ivory locks, “I love you too. Lots.”
Shadowheart traced her fingers along Karlach’s muscles and scars, taking in every second of her touch and warmth that she could. While it was true that Karlach had been deflecting this exact conversation for weeks, she couldn’t deny that her own mind hadn’t exactly allowed her to process in its entirety. She didn’t want to think that their days together were numbered. When this journey had started, she fully intended on parting ways with her companions.
Now, what was life without them? What was life without Karlach?
She eventually pulled back, cupping the tiefling’s cheek, “Let’s table this conversation for now. It’s late, and per usual, we have a long day ahead of us.”
She pulled Karlach back down to the blankets, sighing contently as red, toned arms wrapped tightly around her. She was truly at a loss at this point, but they had time. There had to be something they could do.
Perhaps the Steelforge in the city would unveil something promising. Wulbren was adamant on destroying that place, along with everyone inside, but someone in there must’ve been an expert at those engines. They could get Dammon to aid somehow. Barcus certainly owed them more than a few favours.
They’d find a way.
“...I’ll think about it. I promise.
“Karlach, I appreciate it. Truly, I do. But, as much as I want this too, I don’t want you making these kinds of decisions out of guilt, or pity. What I said, I’m sorry. I was frustrated, sad, and desperate. I shou-”
“None of that, darling.” Karlach kissed neck, “I think we’ve both been through enough. Avernus might be a shithole, and it won’t be a walk in the park, but I feel like I can do anything when I have you; even go back there. I don’t wanna die. I don’t want to lose you. And, I don’t want you to lose me. You’ve lost enough, I think. But, just remember: When we’re neck-deep in demon guts and smog, you chose this.”
“I chose you. So, I would argue it’ll be quite worth it. But, are you absolutely certain, Karlach? It’s like you said: It’s your life; your decision.”
Karlach smiled, hugging tighter, “ You are my life.”
⤪—Baldur’s Gate 3—⤭
“Minthara, darling?”
The drow stopped sharpening her blade, gazing up at her partner, “You wish to consult me, my love?”
“Not exactly,” Raven pursed her lips, nodding towards the tent. “Can we talk? Privately?”
Minthara’s brow furrowed as she set her sword down, standing up from her stool, “What is wrong, Raven?”
“Nothing. Not-...Well, nothing between us. I’ve learned something, and I wanted to talk with you before I shared this with anyone else.”
Understanding the tone her partner was setting, Minthara nodded back towards the tent. They entered the shelter, shutting the flap behind them and sitting side-by-side in the rope hammock. “What is this information you’ve learned?”
Raven sighed, taking Minthara’s hands in hers. Minthara couldn’t help but notice she looked pale, even more so than usual. “...I’ve learned the origins of my dark urges.”
Well, now she was completely enraptured. Raven had confided in her about her urges a while back, before they were together. It was one of the first signs of their mutual trust. Or, perhaps it was more of a warning, which was more fitting for a Drow.
She told Raven she would kill her if she ever lost control, of course.
When she said it, it was a threat. But, after their blooming companionship took hold, it turned into an act of kindness.
But, it remained a mystery for so long. To solve said mystery was something everyone at camp had been awaiting for quite some time. She never witnessed Raven’s murder of the female Dragonborn, but she had seen her skill in the Shadowlands. She was capable of slaughtering the entire camp, if she wished. So, to finally have an understanding of these urges was nothing but an advantage.
“Tell me, ust-nor. Or show me. My mind is always open to you.”
“I…don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
Minthara raised a brow, “Do you not believe I can handle it?”
“No, I-...Alright. Just…prepare yourself.”
Minthara felt their tadpoles connect, and whatever she was expecting, it certainly wasn’t… This.
Every dream, memory, gored corpse, ocean of blood, flooded into her mind with an unfathomable weight. She was certain that even if she closed off her mind to it, the images would break through anyway.
Raven wanted to vomit. Even though she remembered doing nothing these images showed, it was too horrifying to even consider that she did or could have done them.
But, strangely, all she felt from Minthara was…desire?
Raven cut off the connection, letting the visages vanish back into the dark corners of her mind. Which, to be fair, it was all pretty dark. She clenched her eyes shut, focusing on the dark nothingness rather than whatever her mind had to show her as she waited for Minthara to respond.
“ Elgg-hor…duk-tak… slayer.” Raven cringed at Minthara’s words, but returned her gaze to the drow. “There are many names for you, my love, and all of them inspire dread.”
“I-I…I know. Gods, why mu-”
“You are exquisite.”
…What?
“Um…So are you.”
Minthara grinned as she cupped Raven’s cheek, “I know.”
“I-! Hold on. Waitwaitwaitwait…You don’t fear me?”
“Ecstatically so, my love. You make my heart race. We shall find Orin, and we will both have our revenge. With her death, you shall reclaim your inheritance, and I will rule by your side, my slayer.”
Raven pulled her hands away, standing up from the hammock, “I…N-...No. No, Minthara. I can’t.”
“What do you mean?”
“I want nothing to do with Bhaal. All of this is the worst case scenario. Now I know I can’t even fix this, it’s just my blood. I’m stuck this way.”
“Exactly! With that kind of power, nobody would dare stand in our way. And, if they did, they would stand no chance. I understand your reluctance to your father, but it is simply what you are. To deny yourself your true potential, such power? It would be foolish in our plight.”
“It’s not about power, Minthara! It’s never been about power. My urges, the Absolute, I’ve told you this. I don’t want this power, the Absolute’s, none of it.”
Ah, yes, this. The final decision on what to do with the netherbrain was the only small gray area in their relationship. Minthara was truly glad that it hadn’t caused a rift between them, allowing their love to blossom despite their differing stances. Both were convinced they could change the other’s mind, but it was a subject neither had properly addressed since the first conversation about it.
She had broken away from her people— especially those who followed Lolth— but a Drow was still a Drow.
Power was to be taken when given to the wrong people. The wrong people were typically “anybody that was not you”. Power was purpose. Power was the tool for change.
That was actually the part they agreed on. Both thought change was better than balance.
…Buuut they had different opinions on how to change things.
…Along with what exactly “better” meant.
But, love was love. You accept them for their flaws and all.
“Raven, perhaps denying yourself of who you are is what makes your urges more powerful. Killing Orin, or all of the other Bhaalissts, might finally satiate your bloodlust.”
“And if it doesn’t? To be Bhaal’s chosen makes me want to vomit, Minthara. You saw inside my mind. I appreciate that you still love me in spite of everything you saw, knowing what I am, truly I do. But, I don’t want these sick perversions plaguing my mind constantly. I don’t want you to fear me. I don’t want to fear that one day I’ll wake up and find your blood on my hands. I can’t. I’m already terrified of everything I’ve done, but nothing scares me more than what I might do. You should understand this more than anyone. Don’t you remember what you told me about your brainwashing?”
Minthara sighed through her nose, thinking back on her recruitment to the Absolute, “I do.”
“That feeling of losing yourself, but still feeling like yourself? That’s what the urges do to me. I think things, want to do things, that aren’t me. But, they seem so natural, as if they were my own choices. Or, at the very least, if it used to be me, then I’m finally getting a perspective outside of my blood's poison. Bhaal’s blood has overridden my mind since birth, and Orin freed me of it. I can finally be who I was always intended to be, or…Or, perhaps that’s simply my way of coping with what I’ve done; trying to move the blame as far from myself as possible. I don’t know. Minthara, tell me: If the Absolute promised you its power at the cost of being indoctrinated again, would you take it?”
“...No. No, I would not.”
Raven sighed in relief, sitting back down next to her, “I know you and I see things a little…differently. I want to change things too, but…I don’t want to control people. All I’ve known is control, to feel this power over you, to feel like you don’t have a choice. To change things doesn’t mean you must rule. I don’t trust myself to do so, even if I wanted to. I can’t become the slayer, and I won’t take over the netherbrain. I’m…I’m sorry, Minthara. If this is a dealbreaker for you, the—”
Minthara pressed her fingers to Raven’s mouth, stopping her from going any further. “Listen to me, Raven. What you and I have is bol-belbol; a mysterious gift. Love is already an enigma to my people, not to mention a relationship with a half-elf. Before you, it was a mystery to me, as well. Quite frankly, it is a miracle that our union even exists.”
“...Is that supposed to sound good or bad?”
“Which means,” Minthara continued, “that you’ve done something that I never thought possible…You have changed me. You opened my eyes to wonders and pleasures I thought false, foul even. I cannot and will not deny that there is at least a small amount of disappointment in me. I am still Drow. To kill, conquer, take and do what I want, it is in my blood. However, I’ve come to realize that all means nothing if I do not have you by my side to do it with. Power means nothing if I do not have you to wield it with me. The choice between you and power is no choice at all. If control of the netherbrain is not my destiny, so be it. You are my destiny, ust-nor .”
The smile that broke out onto Raven’s face was the brightest Minthara had ever seen. To think, such a sight would bring her such ecstasy. “You really mean that, Minthara? To be completely honest with you, I half expected this to go so much worse.”
“Your caution is warranted, and respected. You honor me with it. You know, it’s quite humorous. I poisoned my last lover.” Raven’s eyes widened at the information, but Minthara merely continued. “But, the thought of your death, Raven? It drives me to retch. Comparisons cannot be made. I believe what you and I have is something lost to my people. Alurlssrin. Deep, unselfish love.”
“Alurlssrin…” Raven touched their foreheads together as Minthara hugged her close. “I like that. I like that a lot. But, with our change of plans, what are we doing after all this is over?”
“Hmm, perhaps once we have eradicated the Absolute, we shall take some time for ourselves. I see no problem in savouring our victory for a while. Then, you and I shall go back to my home.”
“Really? But, I thought—”
“And, together, we shall kill my mother.”
“...Oh.”
“With your inherited prowess, we shall swiftly put an end to House Baenre. My mother shall fall to our blades, and our names shall strike fear in the hearts of every house. We shall make a House of our own, in our name.”
“A new house? But you abandoned Lolth.”
“Exactly! Could you imagine such a spit in her face? Not only an exile, one who abandoned their ways, returning and conquering House Baenre, but you? The first non-Drow, by your own rights and merits, to be a Matron Mother? Oh, you shall be glorious , my dear. You shall make the blood of those weaklings form a river all the way through the city.”
“...Wow, okay. I see we still have a lot to talk about. Bu-...Wait, Matron Mother? Are you…proposing to me?”
“Of course not.”
“Oh, wel—”
“Why would I need to ask such a pointless question? Of course we are to be married. Why wouldn’t we be? After my mother’s death, we shall be wed. Then, we shall make ravenous love through the night.”
Raven simply sat there, mouth agape, not quite sure how to respond to any of this. Was it, in all honesty, a little crazy? Yes, it was. However, was it still strangely sweet and romantic? Yes, very much so. “...Wow.”
“Do not worry, my love. We have no use for the limited marriage contracts of my people. I have no intentions of moving on. After that? Who knows? We have no purpose staying in the Underdark, as amusing as it would be to destroy the other Houses. I’m sure we shall find other ways to entertain ourselves. Perhaps…we could start right now.”
“Wh-? You...I…I love you.”
“Hmhmhm, and I you.”
Raven melted into Minthara as their lips met, her hand weaving into her stark white strands. She moaned as the Drow moved to her neck, biting down to her collarbone, “...You’re not going to poison me, are you?”
“I might if you plan to leave me.”
Raven chuckled, hugging her tighter, “Perfect, we’re all good then.”
⤪—Baldur’s Gate 3—⤭