Chapter Text
Kim Dokja died in the most bleak way possible at 28 years old.
He was crossing the road as he was distracted by a notification on his phone, signaling an update from the unbelievably shitty royalty webnovel filled with stupid cliches he had been consistently reading for the last 5 years of his life… Allowing for a truck to hit him.
Before he lost all sense of consciousness, he was only reminded of how miserable his life was. Fond memories of being bullied as a child by his classmates, to being bullied as a grown man by his coworkers flashed before his eyes just as he died.
Kim Dokja didn't know what to expect. He hadn't put his faith in a certain god, refusing to get on his knees for nothing but a mortal idea, blaming nothing but fate for the way he turned out. Perhaps this was his punishment.
What he didn't expect was to wake up in a bed that was certainly far too luxurious to be his own. Shit. Was this another sleep deprived delusion? Or perhaps another chance at life?
He concluded it wasn’t part of his overly active imagination as he was practically drowning in satin, scanning the room with his eyes, gaze finally landing on the large portrait in the middle of the room. Was that— Yoo Joonghyuk?
Yoo Joonghyuk was the Grand Duke of the northern region, holding a quite powerful reign, and feared by many. Not only that, but the protagonist of said shitty webnovel. Kim Dokja was only able to recognize him as he had long memorized Yoo Joonghyuk's sharp features off of the webnovel's cover, having seen the same one for 5 years every time he visited the website.
Prying his eyes away from Yoo Joonghyuk's face, Kim Dokja’s eyes finally befell upon his own. He was dressed in a white suit, arms interlocked with Yoo Joonghyuk’s own, a curt smile on his rather bored expression. Right then and there, Kim Dokja’s heart dropped to his stomach as he realized his role.
He cursed under his breath. Screw a second chance at life, this was only a sick joke played by fate. He was the first spouse of Yoo Joonghyuk, someone who coincidentally shared the same name as him. Someone who was set to die of mysterious circumstances, being so irrelevant to the plot the writer didn't even bother to write a proper death before allowing Yoo Joonghyuk to frolic around like an idiot in love with Lee Seolhwa later on in the novel.
Sitting up with a rather determined expression, Kim Dokja’s eyes furrowed, a deep frown on his face. He couldn't die this time. He wouldn't allow it. He was going to avoid dying a second time, no matter what. After going over his options for a moment, he easily concluded that Kim Dokja was only killed because he "got in the way".
Fine, then, he'd step away from the scene himself. What was the worst that could happen? Yoo Joonghyuk never treated his husband poorly, but he never exactly cared for him, either. It was truly just another loveless marriage, two individuals forced together under the guise of union— or whatever.
Kim Dokja would simply just ask for a divorce.
This… Was a lot harder than he thought it would be, sitting across from Yoo Joonghyuk in the dining room with a lump in his throat, awkwardly prodding at his meal.
Everytime Kim Dokja looked up, his gaze would be met with a narrow of black eyes and a raised brow. Kim Dokja eventually decided to speak up, setting his utensils down.”...Your Royal Highness, may I speak to you?”
Yoo Joonghyuk, unsure of his intentions, raised a brow, stern voice reverberating around the large dining room. “Speak.”
Kim Dokja looked up, meeting Yoo Joonghyuk's cold gaze."I'd like to request a divorce." He had repeated it to himself nearly a hundred times that week, avoiding Yoo Joonghyuk the entirety of it, but his voice still sounded unsure.
Yoo Joonghyuk's brows furrowed in disbelief, as if he never expected Kim Dokja to ask such a thing. "You're not serious, are you?"
"Why would I joke about such a thing?" Kim Dokja retorted in an overconfident manner, not actually sure if the Kim Dokja from this universe would. "I'm completely serious."
"Is there any reason why?" Yoo Joonghyuk scowled, wondering what made his husband so… Miserable… That he wanted to leave despite only being married a few months. "Do you have another lover in mind?"
Kim Dokja was quick to answer, eyes widening as he was accused of infidelity. "Of course not!" He huffed, folding his hands on his lap. "I'm just… Unhappy with my role in the palace. I believe I'm not well suited for this position."
Yoo Joonghyuk's jaw tightened, expression unreadable. "Are you that unhappy here?" Yoo Joonghyuk's brows creased together once more, confused. "Would you like to leave the palace?"
Kim Dokja shrugged, acting as if he didn't care for Yoo Joonghyuk's answer, when in fact he was desperate for a positive response. "It's still your decision to make, I don't mind staying.” Which was a lie. “I believe we aren't well suited for each other" Kim Dokja was silent before adding, "You may slander my name with lies if the public has a negative response, even accuse me of infidelity, if you'd like."
"Have I ever mistreated you?" Yoo Joonghyuk's words had a confused undertone, simply unable to fathom why Kim Dokja was so desperate to leave him. He asked another question, his interest piqued, “Do you despise me, Kim Dokja?" Yoo Joonghyuk demanded, his pride damaged.
"Ah.. No, I don't.." Kim Dokja startled, finally realizing his mistake. "I apologize for bringing this up to you so abruptly. I'll give you a few weeks to think it over, if you wish."
Yoo Joonghyuk nodded, now deep in thought. He stood up, looking directly at Kim Dokja as he got up from his seat. "Very well, then. I'll think about it."
Kim Dokja nodded in silence as he watched Yoo Joonghyuk excuse himself, the other needing to finish up his work for the day. He cursed in his head as he mentally banged his skull against the table. That… Could have gone a lot better. He was hoping for the other to immediately agree. He turned his head, watching Yoo Joonghyuk’s figure disappear down the hallway. Shit. He should've tried running away first.
Yoo Joonghyuk was unable to finish his work, too busy sulking over his husband’s request. He set his pen down, getting up from his desk, going to the only person he could confide in about… This.
He took long strides towards Han Sooyoung’s office, wanting to speak with his only aide that was bold enough to reprimand him for his actions. Yoo Joonghyuk knocked on the wooden door, unable to wait. “Han Sooyoung.”
Her voice was muffled through the wall, sounding irritated as she replied. “What?”
“I need to speak with you.” Yoo Joonghyuk demanded, scowling.
“I’m busy.” Han Sooyoung scoffed, before continuing, “Haven’t you given me enough work?”
Yoo Joonghyuk frowned, hand still on the handle. “It’s not work related. It’s urgent.”
That seemed to work as Han Sooyoung let out a long sigh, her voice defeated as she spoke again. “Fine. Come in.”
Paper was scattered over her desk, and so was her bookshelf, both in disarray. Yoo Joonghyuk frowned at the state of her office, but he didn’t dare comment on it, he’d be kicked out and left without her input if he did. “Am I a horrible husband?”
Han Sooyoung looked amused as her lips quirked up, finally interested in the topic of conversation. “You’re not a bad husband.” She shrugged, pretending to look bored. “But you’re certainly not a good one.”
Yoo Joonghyuk raised a brow, about to question what she meant, when he was interrupted. Han Sooyoung laid back in her chair, raising a brow. “Why are you suddenly so interested in whether or not you’re a good spouse?”
Looking away, Yoo Joonghyuk wore an embarrassed expression as he spoke his next words. “Kim Dokja wishes to divorce me. I have no idea why.”
Han Sooyoung laughed despite herself, sitting up straight as she looked at Yoo Joonghyuk. “He what?" Her eyes were crinkled into thin crescents as she laughed, not bothering to stifle it with her hand.
“The state of my marriage is not a laughing matter.” Yoo Joonghyuk gritted out, glaring daggers at the crude woman. “I didn’t come here for you to laugh at me. Why is he so eager to leave me?”
She eventually regained her composure, clearing her throat as she began to question him. “You tend to be rather neglectful. When was the last time you showed him even the slightest bit of affection?”
Yoo Joonghyuk couldn’t answer. He didn’t know himself. He looked away, coming up with a way to excuse his own actions, or rather, the lack of them. “If he went into a political marriage expecting me to love him, then that’s his fault alone.”
Han Sooyoung raised a brow before she sighed, shaking her head. “That doesn’t give you an excuse to practically neglect him.” She frowned, leaning back against her chair. “You even sleep in separate rooms.”
Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to protest her words, but she was correct. They slept in separate rooms because he assumed Kim Dokja would be more comfortable. He didn’t think it’d lead to a divorce , of all things. He sighed, before nodding. “I see. I’ll… Try to be kinder to him.”
Han Sooyoung seemed to have something to say, but Yoo Joonghyuk quickly fled from her office, slamming the door in her face. He didn’t bother going back to his study, knowing he wouldn’t complete anymore work today, walking through the hallways once again.
Although he hadn’t cared much about the other man, it was still his husband. He didn’t exactly mean to neglect the other. He preferred his own space, and he had assumed Kim Dokja did as well, seeing as he had made no effort to protest or even seek for any attention. Though, he had seen Kim Dokja walking through the long corridors and halls, talking to the servants, sneaking off to the library at times. Perhaps it was only Yoo Joonghyuk he refused to speak to.
Yoo Joonghyuk’s mood seemed to be worsening as he sauntered through the halls, having long left Han Sooyoung's office as he thought to himself. How could he convince Kim Dokja to stay?
Kim Dokja startled as he spotted Yoo Joonghyuk in the hallway a few steps away from him. Unsure if he should try to approach the other man. He decided against it, speeding towards his own room, not wanting to interact with the other any more than he was required to.
Just as he was about to reach for his door, Yoo Joonghyuk grabbed his wrist, eyes narrowed. Was he that pissed at him?
Kim Dokja was going to ask, before Yoo Joonghyuk spoke first, looking away rather sheepishly. “Where are you going?”
Looking at the other with a deadpan expression as he asked the rather rhetorical question, Kim Dokja raised a brow. “My room..?”
Yoo Joonghyuk looked embarrassed as he looked at Kim Dokja with wide eyes, wearing his bottom lip between his teeth. “Of course.” He cleared his throat, hesitant to say his next words out loud. “I meant to ask… If you’d want to join me in my room."
Clearly surprised by the words, Kim Dokja stopped midway as he was about to open the door. From what he had read in the earlier chapters, Yoo Joonghyuk disliked sharing a bed with his husband, prioritizing his personally set boundaries with him above all. What the hell was this? “Excuse me? I’m.. I’m not sure I heard you correctly—”
“It’s exactly what it sounds like.” Yoo Joonghyuk pried Kim Dokja’s hand away from the door handle, grip firm. His voice was stern as he spoke, though his eyes betrayed him, looking uncertain. “I’m sure I didn’t leave any room for misinterpretation.”
“Oh. That’s a kind offer, except…” Kim Dokja swallowed, averting his gaze as Yoo Joonghyuk glared at him for protesting, tugging lightly as he tried to pull away. “I wouldn’t want to impose.”
Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes hardened, maintaining his hold as he pulled Kim Dokja towards him. “I insist.” He quickly interrupted as he noticed that Kim Dokja was about to argue with him once again. “We’re married, are we not?”
“...We are.” Kim Dokja tried his best to not show his annoyance— which should have been obvious anyways, pulling his lips into a tight-lipped smile. He had always admired Yoo Joonghyuk’s persistence before, but now that it was him that was faced against it, he wanted nothing more than to slap the other man. “Allow me a moment to get ready, then. I’ll meet you in your chambers.”
Yoo Joonghyuk nodded quietly, stiffly walking to his own bedroom. Kim Dokja deadpanned, raising a brow as he began to change into one of his nicer robes. He wasn’t sure why Yoo Joonghyuk was acting so… Out of character. The novel obviously stated that he preferred his own room be kept to himself, was this due to Kim Dokja’s interference with the story ?
He sighed as he began to walk to Yoo Joonghyuk’s room, not wanting to be reprimanded for taking too long. Each step he took filled him with a sense of dread, hating how his palms began to sweat.
Kim Dokja knocked on the door lightly, only opening once he heard a gruff “come in.” come from the other side of the door. He clenched his fists as he laid opposite from Yoo Joonghyuk, making sure to maintain his distance. He faced the wall, assuming that it’d be the end of it.
It wasn’t.
Kim Dokja could feel eyes burning into the back of his head, the room uncomfortably quiet. He didn’t want to speak up, afraid of making things worse.
Eventually, Yoo Joonghyuk broke the silence for the both of them. “Why’re you lying so far away?”
What do you think? Kim Dokja thought, holding back a long sigh. He didn’t want to seem rude. In truth, he didn’t mind sharing a bed, it was Yoo Joonghyuk he was worried about. It may have seemed like it’d be easier to talk to Yoo Joonghyuk after following his story for so long, but it was worse as he knew that quite literally anything about Kim Dokja alone could piss him off. It was a difficult situation.
Kim Dokja slowly turned his head, pretending to act confused as if he didn’t mean to lay on the complete opposite side, raising a questioning brow. “Do you want me to lay closer to you?”
Yoo Joonghyuk paused before nodding, also moving towards the center of the bed. “Come closer. You’re too far away.”
Kim Dokja cursed inwardly as he begrudgingly shifted closer to Yoo Joonghyuk, still laying an arms length away. He still faced the wall, not wanting to stare at Yoo Joonghyuk’s face any longer.
He then heard an irritated huff before being pulled towards Yoo Joonghyuk, both of the other man’s arms wrapped firmly around his waist. What the fuck? Kim Dokja felt warm as his cheeks began to flush in embarrassment— nothing else— as he stiffened.
Yoo Joonghyuk noticed, but didn’t bother commenting on it, finally letting go once they were close enough to touch.
Although Yoo Joonghyuk wasn’t holding onto him anymore, he was impossibly close. Kim Dokja found it hard to fall asleep, even long after Yoo Joonghyuk had. He laid there awake for quite some time before his eyes began to droop, eventually allowing himself to fall asleep.
The moment he awoke, Kim Dokja noticed two things. He blinked the sleep out of his eyes, noting that there were hints of a deep blue as the sun had barely begun to rise. He tried to sit up, but was held down by the foreign warmth wrapped around his waist. He turned his head, finally beginning to process what exactly was happening, startling fully awake as he saw Yoo Joonghyuk beside him, asleep and quite literally clinging onto him.
Kim Dokja muttered a few curses as he tried to pull away, unable to properly do so without waking the other up. He needed to find a way to leave before the sun had properly risen, not wanting the servants that usually assisted him in getting ready to come looking for him.
Dread then overcame Kim Dokja’s entire body, realizing that Yoo Joonghyuk’s staff were most likely on their way soon and would see them like… This.
He was already aware of Yoo Joonghyuk’s clinginess while asleep, but Kim Dokja wasn’t Lee Seolhwa. This simply wasn’t his place. Kim Dokja flushed a bright shade of pink as he tried to pull away once again.
As he felt his hands being pried away, Yoo Joonghyuk pulled Kim Dokja into a deeper embrace, making a sound of protest as his husband tried to pull away from him. He nuzzled into Kim Dokja’s neck, unaware of his own actions, or the effect they had on the other.
Kim Dokja tried his best not to make any embarrassing sounds as Yoo Joonghyuk’s war-built arms clamped around his torso, practically squeezing him. He continued to struggle before startling, feeling Yoo Joonghyuk begin to stir, regaining consciousness. He froze as he tried to reassure himself, shutting his eyes. He’ll only let go and not say anything about it. It wasn’t like he was at fault for it. After all, he was the one who wanted to distance himself.
Yoo Joonghyuk leaned into Kim Dokja’s ear, voice barely over a whisper, tone irritated and impossibly low. It was deeper than usual, having just woken up. He somehow managed to pull Kim Dokja closer, hands practically a brand as they pressed deeper into Kim Dokja’s waist. “What is it, Kim Dokja?” He sounded tired as he slightly raised his head to look out the window, before burying it into Kim Dokja’s shoulder once again. “It’s barely even day break, go back to bed.”
How the hell was he supposed to sleep like this?! Kim Dokja mentally cursed out Yoo Joonghyuk, gingerly nodding, burying his face into the pillow he laid on. Fuck. He really should have tried running away first.
Yoo Joonghyuk smiled to himself as he finally felt Kim Dokja’s breath even out, circling Kim Dokja’s wrist with his thumb. He hadn’t gotten this good of a sleep in months, too stressed from work to rest properly. Perhaps this wasn’t too bad of an arrangement after all.