Chapter Text
As Harry sat in the compartment with Ron and Hermione discussing their summer activities, Harry's mind kept wandering towards the little black journal he had found laying on the ground after Mr. Weasley and Malfoy's dad got into a brawl. He picked it up and asked Ginny if it was one of her books, and when she said no, he asked the others and got the same reply. Hermione suggested he use it to plan his schedule this year, so he had stuffed it into the pocket of one of his oversized pants then promptly forgot about it.
He was gathering up his laundry with the intention of helping Mrs. Weasley do the wash a few days later when he found it during a cursory pocket check routine. He had tossed it on his bed then went down to do laundry and forgot about it again.
When he laid down on his cot to sleep that night, the book reminded him of its existence by digging into his ribs and he finally decided to do something so he didn't keep forgetting about it. He opened up the book to write his name, the date, and decided he would add a short note about the day after he noticed a barely discernable T.M.Riddle on the cover page.
Harry Potter
Aug 25th 1992
I think I will call this the Riddle Book since I have no idea why
it was just lying on the ground a few days ago. Maybe it was
dropped by the Malfoys, but if so, I'm not going to return it to
them. Draco is a snot that reminds me of my fat bully cousin
and his parents look like they are always smelling something
nasty. I think it's their own attitudes they are smelling but they
keep looking at everyone else like they suspect the stink that
follows them around isn't their own but rather others. Must be
all the inbreeding since Ron mentioned everyone is related to
each other.
Wow it's fun to actually write my real thoughts down! I'll have
to be careful that nobody else reads this, but if they do and
they are mentioned, then their current actions means whatever
I think of them as is right. You've been warned, stay out of my
Riddle Book.
Harry began to proudly re-read it so he could make sure he didn't need to add more, but the writing all swirled into an inkblot that then disappeared. He was about to angrily throw the book into the bin for being a defunct piece of trash when he saw new letters begin to appear.
Hello Harry Potter, my name is Tom Riddle. I am pleased
that someone as witty as you found this. I can guard all
your secrets, but you have to secretly guard me. Anyone
using me is the owner and I have to keep all their secrets.
I am tired of seeing stupid things being given to me, so I
want to stay with you. Will you please keep me close?
Harry had felt flattered by the Riddle Book also thinking his first entry was pretty funny so he had hastily agreed. Then he bid the book goodnight and promised to learn more about it the next day. When morning came around, he ate breakfast with everyone, but he declined a game of quidditch to say he had a couple more assignments to finish up. He went back to Ron's room while Ron lied to his mom and told her his was already completed and immediately picked up the diary to write in it.
Good morning, Riddle Book! I've had breakfast and I have some
time before I have to finish my charms essay so I want to get to
know you a bit!
Harry had just barely finished his sentence when the room door banged open and startled Harry enough to leave a huge blot of ink on the page because he snapped the tip of his quill.
"Why did you have to bring up homework in front of my mum, Harry?" Ron complained as he threw open his school trunk and began to dig around in it. "Now I have to do it but there is still six days counting today to do them and I wanted to play Quidditch!"
Harry felt a burst of annoyance since Ron at least had a mother, but he immediately shut down his anger and shrugged. "Sorry, but the Dursleys kept my stuff locked up so I have to catch up," he explained, then he checked the page to see if the quill had ripped it. The page didn't even have a scratch mark and there was a reply waiting for him.
I can help you with your homework since I was really
good in all the subjects at school. The person I'm an
imprint of made this in his fifth year at school just so
I could protect all our secrets. Then a Malfoy stole me
and tried for years to wrestle the secrets in my pages
Are you okay? You left a mess.
Hello?
Harry scrambled to his trunk so he could get a new quill to reply to Tom, and he didn't realize that Ron had approached his bed until he saw Ron grab his book. "Wicked, the journal you found can give us answers?!" Ron exclaimed, and Harry's heart sank since he know he would have to share his Riddle Book or Ron would get angry and probably have the teachers confiscate it from him. "I'm going to use it real quick first!"
Harry watched Ron just toss the Riddle Book on his bed before he grabbed up the things he would need to do his homework and tossed on his bed, too. Harry winced since one of the textbooks had landed on Tom, and he hoped his book couldn't feel pain. He quietly returned to his bed to do his own homework while Ron chortled as he wrote things in Harry's book and then his own assignments, and Harry couldn't help but to feel bitter. The worst part was how Ron tossed the book at him and he had had to drop his quill to catch it as gently as he could.
"I am so glad you found that, mate!" Ron excitedly rambled while he gathered up his homework assignments. "This will make school so easy for us! I'm going to go show this to mom and prove that I wasn't lying and had only a few more things to touch up. Maybe she will believe me next time!"
Then Ron was gone without a thank you, a sorry, or even just waiting for a reply. Harry clutched the diary to his chest and doubted he could have spoken to Ron anyway without crying. It felt like Ron had stolen something precious to him. Once he was sure he was alone and Ron wasn't coming back, he picked up his quill and opened the book.
I'm sorry, Tom. That was my best friend Ron. He just took you without
asking me for permission or anything. I'm pretty sure he only read the
first sentence. If he had caught anything about the Malfoys, he would
definitely have said something, and he only thinks you are an answer
guide. I can keep your real identity a secret from him or I can ask my
owl to find a safe hiding spot to put you in until I can get you back
without nobody noticing.
That is exactly why I hate random people using me!
All they ever want is to pry answers out of my pages
like I'm just an object to be used. You are different,
Harry. You are the first person since my creator to
treat me like a sentient being. I'm not mad at you at
all. Your friend shouldn't be taking your stuff without
permission. I'll act like an answer guide for him since
school things aren't secrets and I would appreciate
if you kept my identity a secret. People like the Malfoys
would kill to learn the magic and knowledge I guard.
I'm happy you trust me, Tom! It's horrible people treat you like that,
though. I know what it's like to be treated as something to be used
and shoved into a dark space. I also hate how random people want
to shake my hand and stuff.
When Tom asked him what he meant, Harry wrote several paged describing his life at the Dursleys, the lies, Ripper, his cupboard, then how he found out about magic. After that was the whole sordid tale about Quirrell, and when he explained Voldemort on the back of the professor's head and how he had been forced to hang on and burn the man to dead, he had to backtrack and explain the whole boy-who-lived thing that he didn't want any part of and how stupid he found it since his parents were obviously the ones that did something. Then he continued with his summer at the Dursleys, Dobby, the ministry warning, the imprisonment, and finally his harrowing escape in a flying car.
Tom seemed to know all the right things to say to get him to open up, and Harry was so relieved to finally be able to tell someone about all these things that actually understood how messed up it was. Then Tom told him about the time he asked Dumbledore to stay for the summer. The headmaster was going to consider arrangements, but Dumbledore had blocked it. He mentioned world war 2 with the Blitz happening in several English cities. Muggleborns and those living in the muggle areas had 'disappeared' without an obituary or anything, and Harry found out Tom had actually grown up in an orphanage.
Between ages five and six, Tom had been forced to work at a factory and only the child labor laws of 1933 saved him before he lost a limb or died like so many other kids that had to scramble in machinery had. Then there was the high infant mortality rate and the nearly zero adoption rate after the labor laws came into effect. Kids had been wanted to a degree until then since they could provide for the adults. Harry knew there was probably more since Tom had been reticent about sharing that much, and everything else had to be worse.
Harry had began to slowly look up to Dumbledore as a grandfather figure last year and he had been hopeful to have someone he could trust in his like. Tom had no idea Dumbledore was now headmaster and he only mentioned him as the transfiguration professor that was biased against Slytherins. Harry realized that the nice grandfather image was just that - an image. He was just like the Dursleys and how they tried their best to pretend to look like good people just to hide how terrible they could be.
Tom absorbed his tears just like he absorbed the ink, but Harry refused to tell Tom why he was crying. Some things cut too deep to share, and all you could do was hope that the scars it left behind couldn't be used against you. Harry knew he changed a bit that day. There were long term effects even when things healed over when the scars came from people you thought cared about you.
All the things that had happened that summer were things he didn't particularly want to share with his friends - especially since Ron was chatting about his imprisonment like it had just been a grand adventure to escape from. He answered any direct questions asked of him, but he spent his time thinking over all the interactions he had had with Tom so far. He still felt bitter towards Ron about taking his book and thinking he was entitled to Harry's stuff, and Hermione's pestering of wanting to see his homework assignments after she praised Ron for his had him stubbornly digging in his heels. Ron had tried to share a secret smile with him after her praise, but he ignored that. Hermione was not a teacher, so he told her he deserved privacy and to please drop it.
He was left alone for the rest of the trip, but when he got to the carriages, he stopped because he could see winged zombie horses. Nobody else seemed to notice them and Hermione said the carriages were pulled by magic and not zombie horses. Harry held his tongue about it until that evening when he could ask Tom about them. That was when he learned they were thestrals, and Tom told him that Harry could see them probably because of Quirrell's death. He didn't share that information with anyone else.
Ron continued to use Tom as an answer book, but that was about the only interactions there were between them. Ron spent a lot of time in the common room to play games, and Harry was avoiding Hermione since she wouldn't stop looking for the smallest things to get on his case about. He was too tired to deal with either of them so he had gotten into the habit of finding secluded areas to study or do his homework at while he chatted with Tom about his day or the things he was struggling with.
Halloween came, and Harry began the day feeling like he was in a haze. Ron took Tom for homework assignments, so Harry had wandered outside to maybe visit Hagrid. It was on the way there that he saw some thestrals in the tree line. He had the feeling they were hungry, so he waded into the chicken pen to snap several necks and carried the birds to the horses to feed them.
Of course it was Hagrid that caught him feeding the horses his chickens. Thankfully, he wasn't angry, but he was a bit put out since there had only been two roosters and they were in the bunch of five that Harry had randomly picked. He apologized, but Hagrid laughed it off and told him he was kind to be thinking about the thestrals, then Harry got to learn more things about the horses than Tom had known when Hagrid began to ramble.
Harry stayed with Hagrid for most of the day. They had tea together and he caught up with the first person that had shown him kindness. When it started getting dark, Harry knew the Halloween feast was getting started, so he distracted Hagrid by asking about Norbert since he didn't want to go in. Hagrid was happy to share news about her and how she had been renamed Norberta, but when the giant man's belly rumbled, Harry knew it was time to go in.
It seemed like they had just barely missed the feast since people were coming out of the Great Hall, but they were all stopping and whispering so Harry stayed behind Hagrid. "Enemies of the heir, beware!" Draco chortled out, "Better watch out, mudbloods!"
Harry decided he didn't want to know what was going on and turned away to head for the stairs, but Filch was wading in and Harry had to step back into Hagrid to avoid getting bowled over. "Mrs. Norris! You did this. You killed her! I'm going to have you-"
"Argus!" Harry heard Dumbledore bark out. He peeked around Hagrid and saw it was Draco that Filch had grabbed to accuse, and Harry was a bit relieved that he wasn't going to get caught up in whatever was happening. He got to watch the drama unfold with the rest of the students, then he slipped into the Great Hall when Draco was dragged off and the crowd was getting dispersed by Professors McGonagall and Sprout. Harry wandered over to the Gryffindor table to plop down and eat some things before the food could disappear.
When Harry got back to the common room, the students were all whispering amongst each other. Harry was about to make a beeline straight for the stairs but Hermione's voice rang out. "Where were you during the feast, Harry?" she demanded. "I didn't see you! Did you paint the letters on the walls?"
Harry looked at her in hurt and her accusation had all eyes on him. "I was with Hagrid today," he said. "We fed some of the animals then he told me about them and updated me about Norberta. We were actually heading in for the feast when we saw the crowd, and as far as I know it was Malfoy that was dragged off for it." He paused and thought about the things Tom had been telling him. "That you can even accuse me like that shows you know nothing about me."
"You've just been so strange this year!" she exclaimed, and Harry was resigned to having this out in the common room. "All secretive and going off on your own! Ron, too! He's been scoring higher than me in homework and-"
"Bloody hell, Hermione!" Ron exclaimed from the stairs. He had apparently been in the dorm, and Harry suspected it was to finish off those homework assignments. "You can't accuse me of cheating when I have done nothing!"
"Don't you think it's strange that he's suddenly getting top marks, Harry?"
Harry was so so tired, and everyone was looking at him again. "Ron has been earning us house points, but you earn us more, Hermione," he diplomatically stated. "The teachers haven't commented once about Ron cheating. And I haven't been all secretive - I had just been trying to find my own quiet places to study so I could catch up to you two."
"I would have helped you!" Hermione said with a stomp of her foot. "You never ask!"
"That's because I need quiet to read and study, and I prefer to do it alone," Harry snapped. He had been keeping his patience, but with Ron demanding his things, Hermione demanding his time, and both of them making him the center of attention he was done. "A-L-O-N-E! I have asked for privacy all year, but you and Ron have both been ignoring it! I'm going to bed. Stay out of the boy's dorm, Hermione!"
That was pretty much the beginning of the end of their trio. Harry had had to accept Ron's attempts at a non-apology that Ron had only made so he would keep using Tom. Harry accepted so that Ron wouldn't get Tom taken from him. There was still a huge gulf between them when everyone began to get ready for bed, and the atmosphere in the room was rather gloomy. Harry shut his curtains without bidding anyone goodnight, then he opened the Riddle Book up and began to talk about his day.
Are you ok? I know that the friendship means a
lot to you. Maybe you can all talk after tempers
cool down?
Hermione accused me of being the heir of Slytherin right
in the common room, Tom. I regret not being sorted in
there. You make it sound a lot more peaceful than this
tower is, so I probably shouldn't have argued the hat out
of it.
Maybe some time apart will help you, then. Will
you tell me more about what happened with the
thestrals and the writing on the wall?
It felt so strange... This morning I decided to spend some
time outside since Ron was going to be using you, and I
was on the way to see Hagrid when I saw the thestrals. I
just seemed to know they were hungry? I don't know. It's
weird since I just waded into the chickens to grab a few,
but I never knew it was so easy to snap necks. I still feel
kind of numb thinking about it.
Did you say Hagrid? Rubeus Hagrid?
Oh, you know him? He was the one that finally gave me
my Hogwarts letter! It was also the first time I got a cake
for my birthday, but Dudley ate it. Hagrid gave him a pig
tail and it was awesome! He also bought he Hedwig when
we welt to Diagon Alley and she was the first give I ever
got. He's so nice!
I...
Harry, I think I need to share one of my
secrets with you. If the chamber has been
opened, you might be in a lot of danger.
Do you trust me?
Harry paused to stare at the last four words. Tom was offering him one of the secrets that he guarded, but it apparently had to do with the whole Heir of Slytherin thing and Harry wanted to stay out of that. Besides, Malfoy was the one that had been dragged off and it was pretty obvious that he could easily have done that to the cat just to scare all the muggle borns. So no, he didn't want to know the secret, but Tom wanted to know if he trusted him which was a yes but there was the implied having to learn the secret.
I do, but do you really think you should share one of the
secrets you guard with me? I will be fine, Tom. Thank you
for worrying, but they already caught Malfoy and he will
probably be expelled.
There is no way it was a Malfoy... Or not
directly, anyway. Watch closely and I will
show you.
Harry had only a couple seconds to puzzle over the meaning of watch closely, then the ink began to swirl and the book began to look like a pool of iridescent sparkles. He reached out to touch it but ended up feeling like he had been yanked in somewhere.
Harry realized he was in a different part of the castle and he had no idea how he got there or why he didn't have the book on him. "Tom?" he called out.
"Over here, Harry," Harry heard, and he looked over just in time to see an older boy stepping out of a doorway. Harry was startled by how handsome he was then he blushed and looked away when Tom laughed and he realized he had been staring. "You are a lot more pretty than I thought you were."
Harry snapped his head up to give Tom an unhappy frown. "I'm not pretty," Harry denied. "I'm a boy! Boys aren't pretty, and I have the stupid scar and ugly glasses."
"Oh Harry," Tom sighed out with a fond smile, and Harry froze when Tom reached out to lightly brush his cheek with the back of his hand. "Boys can be pretty, too." Tom stepped into Harry's space but Harry couldn't bring himself to back away even though he usually didn't like people this close to him. "Pretty and smart with a wicked sense of humor. Anyway, follow me, there is something you need to see."
Tom took his hand and Harry followed along without protest as he tried to figure out why he was feeling so strange. It was like when he was spaced out for the chickens, but rather than numb, there was fluttering happening in his head and his chest. His thoughts were interrupted when he saw another version of Tom step forward.
"I'm sharing a memory with you," Tom began to explain as Harry watched the request to stay at Hogwarts get asked. "This is the memory that comes directly from my creator. I trust you to be very careful with this information and to use it to keep yourself safe."
"Thank you, Tom," Harry replied as he peeked up through his lashes with a small blush. He felt warm knowing that Tom trusted him this much and was doing it to protect Harry. "You really didn't have to share though. I don't want to take your secrets from you."
"Hush and watch, Harry," Tom replied with a sad look at him. "You will understand. You need to see it or you would never have believed me."
So Harry watched, and he was horrified to learn that Hagrid was the one that opened the chamber. "But... Maybe he was wrong and this is a misunderstanding?" Harry tearfully asked as he desperate held Tom's hand like it was a lifeline. "He's so nice! I can't seem him killing anyone!?"
"He is nice," Tom agreed in a solemn tone. Harry willingly went along when Tom pulled him in to give him a light embrace. "He is also a half giant. I'm not saying that because I believe in the half breed stuff. He is bigger and more durable than a regular person, and he was only third year in this memory. He was always bringing in dangerous things - there were werewolf cubs under his bed that almost killed someone and he was always sneaking off to wrestle with trolls and stuff in the forest. I really don't think he meant to hurt anyone, but it doesn't change that a girl ended up dead and Hagrid's beast escaped. He was expelled and I'm very surprised to hear he works there. Who is the current headmaster?"
Harry had not spoken about Dumbledore to Tom at all. He swallowed hard as his hands held on to Tom's robes at his waist. "It's Dumbledore," he said in a tone barely above a whisper. "He lured Voldemort here last year with the Sorcerer's Stone, let me look at the Mirror of Erised for days to see a family I could not touch before taking it away to use in his traps, then found me after I killed Quirrell. Then he awarded my house a ton of points and the end of the year feast when Slytherin was supposed to win and made Gryffindor win instead. I know he only pretends to be nice so I don't like talking about him. That's why I didn't say it sooner."
Harry was relieved when Tom's hand came up to stroke his hair. "I don't like talking about him, too," Tom sympathetically replied. "It's ok, I'm not mad. I know you trust me since you are right here in my arms."
"Where is the real you, Tom?"
"I don't know, Harry. I haven't heard from him since the Malfoys took me, and that was probably your classmate's grandfather. I have a weird history with that family - they were always interested in what I could give them but I had to keep a close eye on them. Abraxas was the type of person to smile at you and shake your hand but have a poisoned dagger held behind his back to wait for the second you dropped your guard and were no longer of use."
"I don't think Draco has the skills for something like that," Harry snorted out, and when he started to take a step back, he was relieved that Tom immediately allowed him some space. "His father seems that type, though."
There was a moment where they both studied each other, but Tom forced a friendly smile on his face. "You need to leave, it isn't safe to get lost in a memory," Tom said. Harry glanced around the silent corridor and wondered if he had been Tom's first physical interaction. "Come on, let's get you back to bed."
"Can I come and visit sometimes?"
Harry caught a small flash of relief before Tom's smile turned more genuine. "If you don't mind, I would love the company," he agreed. "It can't be often, though. It is hard on the both of use. Don't be surprised if you are exhausted for the next few days. Things like this take a lot of magic."
"I understand, Tom," Harry said as he gave his friend a shy smile. He didn't know why, but the weird fluttery feelings were back. It was probably because Tom seemed to genuinely want Harry around. "I'll let you know when I am no longer exhausted."