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“Okay, run that back again,” Seungmin says, blinking at him in quick succession the way he does when he’s stressed. He hopes that that’s not what it is. Hyunjin wrings his hands in his lap. “And I heard you the first time. I’m just trying to stall.”
How honest. Even through nervousness overwhelming enough to make him regret everything he’s said, Hyunjin will stand his ground. It’s been two weeks of torture, anyway. What’s a few more minutes? “Okay, let me repeat myself. Since you’re a virgin—”
“Not relevant.”
“ Very relevant,” Hyunjin argues. “In fact, it’s the focal point of this conversation. What’s the deal with that anyway? Trying to save yourself for the right person or something?”
Seungmin blinks owlishly at him. Now that he’s considering his own to-be-made offer, he realizes how handsome he is even while wearing glasses. Even in his pyjamas. Even in this shitty morning light. Fuck. “It's not even that big of a deal. You think there’s anyone special enough for that?”
“That aside,” Hyunjin amends quickly. “I’m just saying. Since you’re a virgin, and you’ve been saying how much of a hassle it would be to lose it—y’know, if you hook up with a stranger, there’s so many concerns that come with it. So I'm just saying.”
“You’re not. I’m just hearing words,” Seungmin complains. They’re on the couch, facing each other, and Hyunjin sits on the extreme other end with his legs folded under him. He has a full view of the way Seungmin leans back and smirks, slinging an arm over to rest it on the armrest. He tries really, really hard to not rake his gaze up the length of his figure. “You offering?”
“ Yes, ” Hyunjin almost yells. He looks amused. “What? It's logical, right? You want to lose your virginity, you don’t want to fuck strangers and you don’t want to fuck any of our friends. I’m the obvious choice here. You’re smart, Seungminnie. Don’t know why you didn’t think of this before.”
Seungmin’s gaze is sharp, but he laughs. “How convenient.”
“So yes?” Hyunjin looks towards him, hopeful. Seungmin’s gaze sweeps over him, and wow. He’s nervous, not because it’s Seungmin, but because he wants to make it good for him. He sees him smile at him, soft, and nod. Heart squeezing in his chest, he moves forward, propelled into momentum by the green light.
“We’re doing this here?” Seungmin asks as he crawls into his lap, hands moving up to lightly rest around his waist. He settles himself into the warmth of his body, plopping himself directly in his lap. Seungmin’s legs kick out to move the cushion aside. “How bold, Hyunjin-ssi.”
“Shut up,” Hyunjin grumbles, latching onto his neck. If he looks at him any longer, he’ll start burning out of his skin. Or overthinking. “You smell good.”
“Is that so now?” he can hear the smile in his voice, and his stomach does a clean flip. How warm. His hand encircles his waist, and the light splices off his glasses. Seungmin folds his knees in, cradles him into the warmth of his body. He always runs hotter than most, but he’s approaching dizzying temperatures now. “Don’t steal my cologne.”
“Would never,” Hyunjin says. “Mine’s better than yours anyway.” smells way better because it’s on you, is what he doesn’t add. “No, seriously. We’re doing this here? It’s your first time, Seungminnie. Let’s move to my bed?”
Seungmin makes a face; scrunches his nose up and juts his lips out. His hands continue a maddening caress along his sides, body heat swapping till equilibrium. His eyes flit all over his face, before they rest at his mouth. “Good like this too.”
Hyunjin takes the hint. But, just to tease, “you wanna kiss me, Seungminnie?”
He expects Seungmin to reply with a quip, or maybe a pinch to his side in retaliation. Instead, his eyes crinkle. “I would want nothing more,” he says, leaning in. His head reels, sudden adoration blooming in the pit of his stomach, tugging the muscle. Hurling towards the irreversible, he closes the minute gap between their mouths, kissing that annoying smile off.
Seungmin’s arm tightens around him. He’s kissed people before, that he knows, and he also knows that it’s never led any further than that. Seungmin is hard to please, knows exactly what he wants and will never be afraid to voice it out. It’s a deadly combination for a casual fling, and usually pushes more people away than it brings in.
Hyunjin, however, has always been the only exception. He knows. It wasn’t conscious, but even when they were acquaintances in the same friend group formed through friend-of-friend connections, they’ve always been a sort of binary star system. Inevitably hurling towards the irreversible, as he puts it.
“You’re a good kisser,” Hyunjin notes, through some exertion, when they drift apart just so. He doesn’t have to look away from his mouth to know where Seungmin’s gaze falls. There’s some electricity, he vaguely notes. Ah. that might pose a problem. Whatever, he’ll cross that bridge when he gets to it. If he falls, oh well.
“You’re supposed to critique me,” Seungmin says, smile lighting back up. “If all I get are compliments, how am I supposed to improve?”
“It’s the truth,” Hyunjin argues back, and when he sees him open his mouth to refute again, he kisses him. Pulls back. He reaches up and gently takes off his glasses for him, placing it on the coffee table. Seungmin blinks at him, and he thinks he’s doing to be cute, but maybe he just finds it so.
He doesn’t want to make a huge deal out of this whole thing, and he doesn’t want Seungmin to think he likes this a little too much either. But how could he help it, when all he can see is Seungmin’s grin—softly parted pink lips that he’s sometimes thought of in the dead of the night?
Only sometimes, though.
“How bold.” his voice, reduced to breathing heavily, breaks. “Clearly, you know what you want.” he leans back, watching the way Seungmin’s gaze follows down. Pleased, “tell me.”
“Don’t you already know?” Seungmin asks, lilting and playful even as he’s tilting his face up by the chin and kissing him. Not a trace of shyness to be found, his grip confident like he knows something Hyunjin doesn’t. It makes him feel weirdly jittery, that even when confronted with something so delicate, Seungmin remains like he’s always been—steadfast and sure of himself. “Come here.”
Hyunjin freezes. What he’d been entertaining as a joke, sometimes a fantasy and sometimes a dream to mull over: now that it’s playing out in reality, he realizes something very small but crucial. Seungmin is a virgin, yes, but he will not be handing over his built up control to anyone. And that only means—
His face grows hot. Seungmin catches on, quick as always, and he pauses in his ministrations of gently brushing out his hair. He looks amused. “Ah. Is that going to be a problem?”
“No,” Hyunjin blurts out, quicker than he can help himself. It’s not going to be a problem as in the current situation, no. However, it will definitely be a problem later down the road. It just so happens that he’s a little too obedient for his own good, and if Seungmin orders him while looking down at him like that, he’ll be ruined. “No, it’s perfect. I. um.”
“Don’t be nervous, jagi.” Seungmin’s smile sounds sweet, brushing against his pulse point. “It’s just me.”
“Shut up,” Hyunjin whines. He points an accusing finger at him. “It’s your big day. Stop talking to me like I'm the virgin here!”
Seungmin sighs, this little puff of air over his collarbone. “Don’t make it a big deal, yeah?” how could he not? And Seungmin, he’s so fucking—casual about this, like it really isn’t a deal to him. In retrospect, he realizes that it probably isn’t. An item to check off, lose virginity full stop. Scratched off after he fucks him, and never to think back on. That’s the attitude Seungmin has always had towards societal expectations. Outwardly, at least.
“It’ll be good,” Hyunjin says, tilting his head to the side and baring his neck. Under the pretense, he slips a hand under his shirt, softly kneading the slightly hardened muscle of his stomach. He hears Seungmin sigh again, and then his breath hitch. “I’ll make it good for you, Seungminnie.”
“Not too much, I hope,” Seungmin replies as he’s pulling away. He follows through with the motion, like moth to flame, and it makes Hyunjin burn. Palm flat on his chest, he pushes him down into the couch. “Or you’ll ruin it for anyone else to come.”
“Good.” Something possessive flares up in him before he can reign it in. He realizes his mistake a beat too late, sees Seungmin’s eyes widen slightly. His left hand finds the back of his head, and then they’re kissing again—a long, proper one this time—and his mind is blank. All he knows is the warmth of Seungmin’s body, and the taste of his smile.
“Clothes,” he murmurs when he pulls himself away from Seungmin’s grip, who seems all too happy to deprive him of all air. Seungmin leans up towards his mouth, hair mused and expression adorably kiss-dazed. “Lie back. I’ll do everything, ‘kay?”
“That’s not fair,” Seungmin still argues, but wordlessly lets him slip off his shirt. He pops open the buttons one by one, half slides it off his frame. A few moles come into view, the slope of his chest, the crest and trough of his collarbone. Hyunjin kisses the center of his neck, right under his adam’s apple. Feels him gulp. “Hyunjinnie…”
“Mhm. That's me.” Hyunjin lets his eyes roam over his body a few moments longer, trying to be subtle. He knows he isn’t when Seungmin laughs, sheepish. He lets his hand trail down his sternum, resting on his stomach. Before roaming any lower, he looks up at him questioningly. Seungmin’s breathing is a little shallow, but his face remains relaxed, and he gives him a minute nod. “Someone looks comfortable.”
Seungmin laughs softly, which turns breathless quickly. “It’s just you. I’m comfortable because it’s—ah—you. Hyunjin,” he cuts himself off sharply, breath hitching. Hyunjin takes his time slipping his hand under the waistband, other palm brushing over his crotch—the very obvious arousal making it harder for Hyunjin to think clearly. “Ah—fuck.”
“Shh.” Begrudgingly, he detaches himself from him. Knees for leverage, he shifts himself back on the tiny couch, careful to slot himself between his legs. Seungmin catches on and parts his thighs, hands instinctively reaching out to him. Hyunjin feels himself melt, and can’t help nosing the inside of his wrist when Seungmin caresses his cheek. “C’mon. Get this off.”
“Don’t get bossy now.” Loose pyjamas off, and then tugging at his boxers. Before that though, Hyunjin needs to distract him. Kissing him is hard in this position, and he might pull a muscle somewhere. How could he think clearly, when Seungmin is looking at him like that?
“Stop arguing with me,” Hyunjin complains. “I’m doing you a favour. You’re supposed to be grateful.”
“Thank you, baby,” Seungmin smiles and does his work for him—tugs him forward by his collar and kisses him. He feels a joint crack somewhere, but he has no doubt that it’ll heal in no time under Seungmin’s ministrations. “Aren’t you just the best?”
Seungmin sucks in a sharp breath through between his teeth, a breathless gasp into his mouth when he digs the heel of his palm into his crotch. The elastic snaps, and Seungmin flinches under him. The position is starting to quickly climb his list of favourites—it’s not often that he’s had such a strong desire to fully see the reactions he can coax out of someone. It feels like his own pleasure, is what he means.
The first real sound Seungmin makes—this beautiful, breathless moan right into his ear where he’s tucked his head into the crook of his neck—when Hyunjin tentatively wraps a hand around him. He leans away to keep his eyes on his face as he tightens his grip. Seungmin’s eyes are unfocused, and it drives him to see him even more lost in the feeling.
Seungmin’s hand clutches at his collar, grip vice when he tries to lean back. He takes the hint and chooses to ignore it. Breathing heavy into his neck, little sounds as he tests out his touch. He’ll give credit where it’s due: Seungmin takes almost a full minute to realize that he’s being teased. “Off,” he says, nose scrunched. “Fuck, just take it off, will you?”
“As you wish,” Hyunjin sing songs, retracting his hand from his pants to tug it off. He falls back into the cushions, the picture of relief. “Pretty,” he says, amused to watch Seungmin shy under his gaze. He stays like that for a few moments, admiring, resisting the urge to say nice dick because Seungmin will definitely reply with something like thanks, grew it myself.
He watches his eyes flutter shut, head falling back against the armrest when he closes his fist around the head of his cock. A beautiful groan, a mumble of his name. Hyunjin sighs, pleased, when his hand reaches out to caress his face. “I’m going to make you feel good, Seungmin,” he says, tightening his fist on the upstroke. Seungmin squirms. “ So good. Just trust me.”
“Then fucking get on with it.” His retort is breathless, and Hyunjin sees it for what it is: desperation. It’s a nice look on him, he supposes, even though he’s not going to see it take on this particular form ever again. If they do this again (and there he goes ruining himself), then Seungmin won’t be this pliant again, that he’s figured out. “Fuck.”
“How does it feel?” Hyunjin wonders, memory of the feeling of his first blowjob already lost on him. It wasn’t very memorable, and he’s pretty much blocked it out. He leans his head sideways to rest against his hip bone, mouth brushing against his cock when he speaks. Seungmin trembles like a live wire under his hands. “Definitely feels better than your hand, doesn’t it?”
“Would be a shame if it didn’t,” Seungmin laughs. He decides that he’s still too coherent for his liking, so he licks up a wide stripe and meets his gaze when he reaches the tip. Thumb and pointer finger encircling the girth, he holds himself in place through the slight ache in his folded knees. “You look—you look unreal. In a good way.”
“Thank you,” Hyunjin keens at his awed tone, and then when his hands find his hair. “You can tell me I look pretty.” when he receives a hum in response, “this something you’ve thought about?”
Seungmin hesitates. That answers one question. In the time he takes to think, Hyunjin makes himself comfortable settling in his lap, head pillowed on his hip as he kitten licks at the base. “Well, no. I shouldn't think of you like that, right? But, like. I’ve wondered. It’s like morbid curiosity. Or well, it falls under intrusive thoughts. But this is not something I expected to see you like.”
“Well, at least you’re honest. Should I make you come like this?”
“What about—” Seungmin cuts himself off when he leaves his position to meet his eyes and lean up to him, cock nudging at his lips. Precum he licks off, and then closes his mouth around the tip. Seungmin relaxes further, and his grip in his hair tightens. To let him continue his thought, he pulls off. “What about the next part?”
“I don’t know,” Hyunjin answers, and he’s being honest here: his mind has grown too fuzzy to concentrate on right and wrong choices. All he knows is Seungmin’s pleasure, and the honour to be the first to experience the sight of it. The weight of his cock in his mouth, and the ways his muscles keep tensing whenever he flattens his tongue up the shaft. And the noises. God, the noises. “Just tell me what you want and I'll do it for you. You want me to blow you and make you come? Sure. you want to fuck me? Obviously a yes. You want both? That depends on you.”
“I want everything,” Seungmin confesses. “But I don't know if I can.”
“Fine.” Hyunijn begrudgingly switches himself into business mode. This is his virginity they’re talking about, it’s a high stakes situation. Mostly because somewhere along the way—somewhere along their negotiations and arguments and bickering, he’s somehow rooted the urge to make it so good for Seungmin that he’d come back to him. He has no idea where that is coming from. “Told you I'll give you whatever you want. So, fine. One condition: we move to my bed.”
Seungmin pouts at him. Lord have mercy. “But it’s hotter like this. You said you’ll give me what I want.”
“How the fu—okay, you know what, nevermind,” Hyunjin pinches his brows. “Maybe it’s a good thing you weren’t interested in losing your virginity. You would’ve been a whore, otherwise.”
Seungmin laughs. “Me? Sure.” he opens his mouth again, presumably to add something to retort, and Hyunjin—he’s impatient. Desperate like he’s never been before. So he closes his mouth around and applies light suction, waiting for Seungmin to take control if he wants to.
And when he does, it’s the hottest thing he’s ever experienced—being shoved down like that, an uninhibited whine echoing in the space from himself. Pants pulled tight and dragging friction against his very obvious boner, he can’t help but moan. And when Seungmin tentatively thrusts up, he fists the base and sucks harder to encourage.
“I’m not going to—ah, not going to last, Hyunjinnie,” Seungmin’s breathless voice sounds out. He opens his eyes and looks up at him, nodding the best he can. His grip in his hair is steady, demanding even though his movements haven’t build up to that confidence yet. “Shit,” he groans, slumping back into the cushions as his hips stutter. “Oh my god.”
Hyunjin leans back up, mouth half on his dick when he comes with a series of moans, warmth running down his cock and onto his lips. He licks up his length collecting all the come, and lets it spill back over his tip. Sucks again, tongue into slit, and feels more spill. When he opens his eyes back up, Seungmin is looking at him like he wants to eat him whole.
Hyunjin shivers, plays it off with a smile. “Good?” voice slightly raspy, and a little slurred from the remnants of come in his mouth. “You know, I could probably make you come again like this. I feel like you still need more here.”
He’s pulled in by the neck, hand firm at the base when it moves from his hair to his nape. Seungmin kisses him, initially wincing at the taste. When Hyunjin crawls forward and settles in his lap, he gets over it in favour of jostling him to give both of the friction they need, even though for Seungmin it’s probably from the overstimulation. Hyunjin moans into his mouth, so incredibly turned on and so warm in his arms.
“I want to fuck you.” Seungmin blinks up at him, lighting casting his eyes brown. The picture of innocence. He’s so cute that it makes his heart squeeze. “Isn’t that the plan?”
“Deviation is always allowed,” Hyunjin tells him. “But we’ll do what you want. Since you want to fuck me that bad,” he wiggles his eyebrows at him. Seungmin stares back blankly. “Aw, Seungminnie. You’re so pretty, you know that? So fucking cute.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Seungmin averts his eyes and doesn’t refute anything he says. That’s probably glaring evidence that he’s completely relaxed. “Do you usually talk this much when you fuck other people?”
“Oh, baby, you hurt me,” Hyunjin starts, but dissolves into giggles. Seungmin is chewing on his lip, but it doesn’t hide the beautiful smile he’s trying to hold back. “Since you’re so desperate, we’ll get it over with. This doesn’t affect the rating, does it?”
“Of course it does,” Seungmin replies. His eyes follow the path of hands as he slips out of his clothes. Gaze absentmindedly fixed to his body, “you’re at a 6 point rating right now. If the next part is good, I'll bump it up to a 7.”
“That’s brutal,” Hyunjin says. Warm from the way his gaze doesn’t falter, and also slightly embarrassed as he shimmies out of his pants. Whatever, it’s just Seungmin. He’s still not seeing him as anything other than his best friend—this step forward doesn’t take away from the comfort of their dynamic. “Only a 7? For your sake, never sleep with other people. You’ll hate it so much you won’t want it ever again.”
“That doesn’t sound so bad,” Seungmin muses. “Sleeping with you would still be on the table then, right?”
“What the hell, who are you?” Hyunjin rounds him with wide eyes. “That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me,” he fakes a sob, pausing in his work to try and kiss him. “What, what? You really like me that much?”
“Take your clothes off faster, and maybe then I'll answer that question.” Hyunjin redoubles his efforts, and finally gets them off. The moments he slips his boxers off, Seungmin’s hand is on his cock. It takes everything in him to not grind against his hand. Instead, he stays still, trembling, letting Seungmin do what he wants. Which in this case, is letting him cop a feel.
Seungmin tightens his fist, and strokes him up. “Huh.” he looks up at him, brown eyes slightly dazed and wide. He blinks several times in quick succession. Hyunjin is kneeling over him, and the angle is dangerous. “You’re big.”
“You say it like you didn’t—ah—expect it.” Hyunjin raises an eyebrow, and then his eyes flutter shut when he strokes him again, wider this time. Opens his eyes to find Seungmin’s gaze fixed to his face. He jerks forward. “Stop looking at me like that.”
Seungmin tilts his head at him, blinking. Lord have mercy. “Why not? I’m not looking at you anything special.”
Hyunjin grits his teeth, every fibre of his being straining to hold himself in place. He’s so aroused it’s unreal. “You know perfectly well what you’re doing— fuck!” he braces himself against the backrest of the couch. Seungmin repeats the motion—pulling a long stroke up his length and digging his thumb into the slit. He thinks he’s seeing stars when he starts imagining his mouth on his cock, but then stops himself. They have more important matters to attend to.
“Enough, that’s enough,” Hyunjin chides, kissing him when he pouts. “Get the lube and condoms. Drawer behind you,” he adds, when Seungmin looks confused. “And no commenting on that. I know you too well.” When he hands the tiny bottle to him, Hyunjin pats his head. “Good boy.”
Seungmin looks like an angel and feels like a sin when Hyunjin settles into his lap, knees on either side of his waist. On feeling the hand on his chest pushing him back, Seungmin goes easily, letting him straddle him comfortably. Even though Seungmin arguably has the more advantageous position with the hold of his waist, he seems hesitant to act on it. Eyes still hazy when they fix on him, looking up with a sleepy sort of half smile tugging his lips. Dreamlike.
“I’ll tell you a secret if you kiss me,” Hyunjin hands him an offer, one he knows he won’t refuse. When he thinks about the progression of events through the morning, it gives him whiplash. He woke up with the goal of finishing his portfolio. Never did he think today would be the day they finally cross this line.
He says finally like they’ve both been waiting for this. Hyunjin, that he knows, has been. That’s another of his secrets. Seungmin touches him too boldly and too freely to not pick up on it, and Hyunjin falls in love with a lot many things too deep.
His notion is confirmed—the deal sealed with a red stamp, when Seungmin caresses his cheek and leans up closer. His hand pauses on his cheek, fingers brushing his jaw, changing into him thumbing out the line of it. Hyunjin holds his breath like he’s on a diving platform.
The silence is too loud and meaningful. Seungmin’s smile is melted warm candle wax, eyes the flame. It reminds him of the first time they got drunk together and ended up in the same bed, limbs loosely tangled. The silence of then remains the same—and Hyunjin needs to break it before too much emotion bubbles up into tears. So, “you’re looking at me like you want to kiss me.”
Seungmin scrunches his nose, and then he can feel the quirk of his lips in his kiss. He sighs, hands making their way to the slope of his chest to draw feather line drawings. Feeling the ridges of his ribs, the way his shoulders roll. The quiet strength in his hold on him is miraculously comforting, and gets him sleepy in a way he shouldn’t be at ten in the morning.
He breaks the kiss, panting. There’s a certain push and pull whenever their mouths meet. It’s not a surprise when Seungmin pulls him back in, marginally rougher. Tongue in mouth, mapping, discovering, noting. Hyunjin moans at the control of it. Driven by the same determination to get him as desperate as he wants to see Seungmin, he supposes.
Fingers dig into the sides of his jaw. Seungmin tilts his mouth up, leans away. Hyunjin can barely open his eyes, heavy like lead. Through half lidded gaze, he sees—and feels—him grind up, breath hot on lips. He lets his mouth fall open, whining when Seungmin pulls him towards himself.
“How bold,” Hyunjin says, just to tease, even though it’s through a moan. “Good, you’re so good. Ah—” he lolls his head to the side when lips latch onto the base of his throat. When he licks over a spot, he can feel his teeth brushing against the skin. He moves down, a little sideways, selects a nice spot just under his collar. He runs his tongue over the spot, and then pauses. Hyunjin opens his eyes to find him looking up at him. “Mhm?”
“I want to leave a mark.”
“Then do it.” Hyunjin taps his collarbone. “Make it nice. Dark. I’ll show everyone who I belong to.” he sees Seungmin’s eyes widen. “Isn’t that what you want? I know you really well, Seungminnie. That will never change.”
Seungmin’s face is hot when he reaches out. “Isn’t that selfish? I shouldn’t want to keep you like that.”
“Why not?” Hyunjin kisses the corner of his mouth in consolation. He averts his eyes. He’s the smartest person he’s ever known, but he thinks too little of himself. Hyunjin would consider it an honour to belong to him. “You should be selfish about the things you want.”
“Maybe.” Seungmin returns to the spot he’d picked, dragging skin between his teeth to make it sting. His eyes flutter shut. “When do we get to the part where we have sex?”
Hyunjin laughs. “We’re supposed to be there right now. Tell me how you want to do this. Should I instruct you? Do you want to figure shit out yourself?” they meet eyes when Seungmin pulls away from his neck. He’ll check out the hickey later. “I did already open myself up, by the way. But you’re free to check.”
“You want me so bad,” Seungmin shakes his head in faux disapproval. “Did you think about me?” He must be more relaxed than he thought, because Hyunjin nods and realizes it a beat late. His smile takes over his vision. “Hm. What did you think about? I’m sure your imagination had to put in a lot of work. It’s not like you have material to broadcast.”
“I don’t think about you that much,” Hyunjin says. “But sure, I'm an artist. I was gifted with imagination, Seungminnie, and you—” he reaches down. Seungmin’s palm is warm. He brushes his fingers over the raise of his knuckles, and slides home into the space made for him. Bringing up their intertwined hands, “—you have really nice hands. Thought about them a lot.”
“A lot more innocent than I expected,” Seungmin laughs. There are butterflies when he leans in and kisses the back of his hand. “I see. You’re the romantic one during sex. I’m sure people appreciate that.”
It’s not possessiveness. That would imply that Hyunjin has some sort of claim over him, which is objectively untrue. It’s more a need to belong. To have Seungmin experience that harmless jealousy over him, to know that Seungmin wants to have him completely as much as Hyunjin wants to be his. Whenever he brings up the fact that even though they’re doing this, they’re not exclusive, it makes irritation crawl under his skin.
“I’m yours now,” Hyunjin breathes out, that testiness dulled from the way Seungmin is looking at him and how sensitive he feels. He sees Seungmin smile softly. “I’m yours now, and I need you to act like it. Don’t bring up other things. Or other people.”
“Weird way to say you want to be mine,” Seungmin kisses him, shutting him up sweetly. Hyunjin squirms over him, muscles loose. Mouth open, willing. “My Hyunjinnie, so nice to me. Can I please fuck you?”
Hyunjin sucks in a sharp breath. “Mhm. yes. Please.” into his mouth, he moans. “Please, want you so bad. Want you to fuck me so bad, god.”
“Thank you.” He reaches between the gap of their bodies, hand pausing to rub at his thighs for a moment. Hyunjin is all but fluff in his hands, spreading for access easily. Seungmin lets go of his face, wrapping that hand around his cock, the other pushing his leg out of the way. Grip gentle, equally firm.
“Aren’t you supposed to ask me how to do this?” Hyunjin narrows his eyes at him. “You seem awfully competent for someone who received his first blow job today. What’s with the confidence?”
“You can know the theory without having done it.” Seungmin shrugs. “I’m not a prude. I’ve done my research.”
“Research?” his pitch goes up at the end. Seungmin teases a finger over his hole. He can’t help but clutch onto his arms, like he’s the virgin here. He looks up at him, rolls his eyes. “Dude, just say you watch porn. Research, ha.”
“You talk too much,” Seungmin complains. “Shh. You’re distracting me here, you know?” Hyunjin opens his mouth to retaliate, shuts it up when he sees him lean closer. The next moment he’s kissing him again, and Hyunjin wonders, is it for the cause or does he just like it? However, he doesn’t get to finish that thought, because there’s now two fingers being pushed inside him with pace so torturously slow it makes his head spin.
“Seungmin,” he says when he gets his breath back. “Kim Seungmin, if you don’t stop teasing, I swear. Enough! I’ll punch you if you don’t stick your dick in me within the next five seconds.”
“Shut up.” Seungmin rolls his eyes, half smile on his lips. If it hadn’t been there, and if he didn’t know him well, he’d have thought it a lot meaner. It makes a hot something tug at his stomach. “Like this?”
“Yes, like this.” Hyunjin stresses the point by wrapping a hand around his cock and stroking it all the way down. On second thought, “do you want me on my back? It might just be easier, wait…” Hyunjin tries to lean up to get him to shift. “Dude, move. That’s the only comfortable way for you since it was someone’s idea to lose his virginity on the couch.”
Seungmin doesn’t take the bait. Instead, he just looks confused. “Are we not… what’s wrong with this position?” a beat later he adds, “unless you’re not comfortable like this? I mean, I'm down for whatever. Just tell me.”
“No, silly,” Hyunjin laughs and kisses his neck. “This would be a cool position if I wanted to ride you—and trust me, I want to. I would love nothing more than to see you cry because you’re feeling so good. But—” he punctuates it with another kiss to his mouth. “It’s your first time, and I don't want to overwhelm you with that. Besides, it’ll stroke your ego a little if you did all the work and made me come, right?”
“I’ll be honest,” Seungmin’s eyes are blown wide. “You riding me sounds hot as fuck. I wouldn’t complain.”
“Freak.” Hyunjin teases. “Right, okay. I’ll do that. Tell me if it’s too much, yeah? Just tell me to slow down, stop, whatever. It’s just me; there’s no need to hesitate, okay?” he reaches down, encircles Seungmin’s left wrist with his thumb and pointer. “You want to do it yourself for the experience? I’ll guide you.”
“Sure.” Seungmin’s hand twitches in his hold. Hyunjin smiles and tugs it up to his mouth. He presses his thumb on his tongue, thoroughly enjoying the way Seungmin’s breath hitches. A little slurred, a little drunk, “give it to me, baby. You know what to do. Don’t you?”
“I’m figuring it out,” Seungmin laughs breathlessly. He strokes his cock once, twice. Hyunjin picks the condom from the table and quickly tears it open. Seungmin keeps shifting under him as he’s trying to get it on, so he has to force him to stop moving, both laughing.
Hyunjin wiggles forward, and slightly lifts himself up for ease of access. “Can you—” there’s no reaction from Seungmin as he presses the tip to his rim—too concentrated on getting it right—but Hyunjin moans from the anticipation. “Shit—”
Seungmin has this cute little frown on his face looking down. Hyunjin wraps his arms around his neck and lets them hang loosely over his shoulder to bring him closer. “You’re doing so well.” he kisses his neck, breathing in deep. “Don’t be nervous, don’t think about me. Just focus on what you’re feeling.”
Seungmin’s moan is muffled as he presses inside. He can feel the muscles of his abdomen flexing under him, and the grip he has on his waist tightens till it hurts; he’s clearly using the point of contact as an anchor. “Hyunjin…”
“Mhm. Relax. Don’t worry about coming too fast, or about expectations. I’ll take care of you, yeah?” If this was any other scenario, he doesn’t doubt that Seungmin would’ve looked at him weirdly. Said something like I can take care of myself, thanks. As it is, he minutely nods against his shoulder, and keeps trying to get his breathing under control, moaning softly whenever they shift even a little. “Everything fine?”
“Please,” Seungmin’s voice breaks, all points of composure lost. He’s just honoured he’s the first to see him and take care of him like this. He wouldn’t have wanted a shitty first time experience for his best friend. “Please, Hyunjin.”
“You’re so cute, you know that?” Hyunjin knows he hates it when he clings to him and tells him this, but he just can’t help it; Seungmin looks so adorable it’s driving him out of fucking mind. In reward, he sinks down, adjusting the position by a bit. “I both love and hate seeing you like this. I think I'll want it again.”
Seungmin doesn’t reply to that, instead leans his head against the backrest with a loud moan. He has a feeling it’s because he squeezes his thighs together, but he can’t be sure that it’s not because of what he says. When he rolls his hips forward, clenching around his cock, Seungmin slaps a palm over his mouth to muffle his sounds.
Hyunjin kisses it away. “I want to hear you,” he tells him. Lifts himself up, sits back down. Seungmin whines, and it’s the hottest fucking thing he’s ever heard. “I love your voice, you know? I want to hear you feel good.”
Seungmin’s teeth scrape against his bare shoulder, hot pants into his neck. He gently pushes him back against the armrest for leverage. He watches him throw his head back, eyes squeezed shut, stuttered breaths leaving him. If this was any other situation, Hyunjin would’ve asked him to look at him, but he lets it go in case it overwhelms him.
“Come whenever you want.” Hyunjin peppers light kisses down the column of his neck, lingering over his pulse. “I’ve got you. Feels good, yes?” Seungmin nods rapidly. His hands slide along his back haphazardly, searching for ground. Hyunjin doesn’t mind the slight stinging. “Good. You’re making me feel so good, Seungmin-ah.”
Hyunjin moans when he matches his movement and grinds up sharply. He’s turned on beyond belief, but had to strictly ignore it and focus on Seungmin’s body language in case he seemed uncomfortable but couldn’t or wouldn’t tell him. Now that he’s sure Seungmin is enjoying this, his own arousal seems to flood the forefront of his mind. What’s even hotter is the fact that Seungmin is learning and putting his knowledge to use in the moment.
He hisses when he feels blunt fingernails digging into his waist, rides out the pain. Seungmin comes into the condom with a series of stuttered moans, freezing up under him till he’s come down from his high. “You’re so cute,” Hyunjin pants out. Seungmin’s eyes flutter open, completely disoriented, glazed. There’s tears glittering his lashes. “Fuck, you’re so cute.”
Hyunjin slowly brings his movements to a stop when he’s sure Seungmin’s done. He doesn’t say anything, just looks up at him, blinking rapidly like he’s trying to clear his vision. He looks like an angel when he smiles dopily. He’s never seen him this soft, and it makes his chest squeeze.
“Hyunjinnie,” he quietly calls after a few beats, and Hyunjin groans. He knows his voice would get like that; he just didn’t expect it to sound so hot. He thinks he’s giving this so much thought because it’s Seungmin. “Let me return the favour?”
“You’re good, baby,” Seungmin frowns before Hyunjin leans down and kisses him. “We’ll clean up in a moment. It’s okay, right? We’ll clean up and I'll make you lunch and we’ll spend the day playing games.” he laughs. “And then we’ll cuddle. You can stop pretending you hate it.”
Seungmin has heard nothing he’s said. His gaze is fixed to his lips. It’s pretty obvious that he’s still dazed. He can feel the need to squish his face rooting in him, but tamps it down for the moment. He gives him another few seconds to attempt to process it. Seungmin’s gaze finally snaps up to his face. “I should blow you.”
Hyunjin coughs. “You don’t have to,” he says sheepishly. He’ll be lying if he said the thought doesn’t cause him a spike of arousal. “Really. I’ll just jerk off in the shower and get back in a moment.”
“No, I want to.” Seungmin blinks like he’s confused. He tilts his head. “Don’t tell me what to do. Get off me.”
“Welcome back, kim Seungmin,” Hyunjin murmurs under his breath. Wincing as he pulls off, he leans back on his heels. Seungmin takes a moment to dispose the used condom in the bathroom, comes back with a stupid grin on his face. He can already see the afterglow amidst the messy hair and the flushed cheeks. It’s a good look on him, he decides.
“Sit here.” Hyunjin pats the couch seat beside him. “It'll be comfortable like that. I can just lean back like this…” he takes Seungmin’s previous position, back to the armrest. “And you can kneel on the sofa, like this.”
“What about the floor?”
“You want to be on the floor?” Hyunjin asks, a little surprised. “I don’t mind. Your call, whatever you’re comfy with.” Seungmin looks at him, then slowly kneels in front of the couch. Hyunjin glances down at him as he shifts around to adapt, feels his breath hitch. “Shit, that’s hot.”
“Yeah?” Seungmin smiles up at him, placing his hands on his thighs. Hyunjin leans back against the couch. Without preamble, he wraps his hand around him. He squirms in spot, the sudden stimulation after not being touched for so long already making his mind hazy. It’s hard to keep his eyes open, but he needs to look at Seungmin for this. “You can just say I'm hot. I don’t mind.”
“You are,” Hyunjin breathes out. There's a slight surprise. Then, Seungmin’s mouth is on his cock, closing around the tip. “You’re so—you’re so hot, Seungminnie. Fuck, you’re so hot. Fuck. ”
His reply is muffled. Hyunjin should be paying attention to him and helping him out if he has questions, but all he can think is how warm and wet his mouth is, how soft his hands are as he strokes him. He forces his eyes open and forgoes his support on the couch to be able to look at him. It’s a mistake, he realizes in a moment.
Seungmin blinks up at him in doe eyes like it’s a normal day. He holds back a groan, fingers automatically sliding into his hair. He makes a noise around him, taking him a little deeper. “You don’t have to—you don’t have to go more,” he tells him through laboured breaths. “Pull off when I come.”
He has a sure knack for doing the opposite of what he wants him to do, he knows. He doesn’t know why he’s surprised that it translates during this too. Seungmin pulls off immediately, mouth upturned. Lips shiny with precum and spit. “Shut up,” he rasps out, stroking him from base to top. Hyunjin moans. “Shut up and come in my mouth.”
“Fuck,” Hyunjin groans out, eyes rolling back. Seungmin has always been good at processing information, but this reaches a whole new level. His movements had been hesitant at the beginning, but now he’s easily sucking him off like it’s learned and not sometimes he’s doing for the first time. He hasn’t taken him deeper than he initially had, but makes full use of his mouth and hands. “Gonna come, Seungminnie, shit, please—”
He collapses back on the couch, shoving his face into a pillow to muffle his moans. It’s a pity he can’t see Seungmin as he comes, but well, he’s going to be hopeful for the future. Seungmin sucks him off through it, the cleanup messy and uncoordinated but sure as hell the hottest thing he’s ever seen.
Seungmin makes a sharp noise, and he realizes how hard he’d been holding onto him. “Sorry,” he brushes his hand through his hair, patting the spot. Seungmin blearily blinks his eyes open, and he’s so cute that he has to lean down and kiss the crown of his head. “Feeling all good?”
Seungmin places a hand on his thigh and leverages himself up somewhat shakily. He stands up in front of him, Hyunjin reaches out and holds his hand to support him, fond. “I’m fine,” he says after a moment. His smile borders towards shy. “I just—sorry, I don't know what to say.”
“That’s okay.” Hyunjin nods, rubbing his hand soothingly. “Can you tell me if you enjoyed it? It’s okay if you didn’t, really. Lots of people find that they aren’t really into sex.” when Seungmin hesitates, he adds, “or you can tell me later. I just want to know if you’re good or not.”
“No, I'm good, definitely.” Seungmin resolutely shakes his head. “It was just—overwhelming, you know? I kind of got emotional too. Isn’t that stupid? It’s definitely a lot of emotions.”
“Not stupid, Seungminnie. It happens. I cried on my first time too, you know? It’s not stupid to be feeling so much that you cry.” he smiles, trying to be reassuring. “It means you had a good experience, right? That’s what I want for you.”
“Yeah…” He meets his eyes. “I don’t know if I'd want that with someone I didn't know. ”
Hyunjin shrugs. “That’s fair. It’s casual to some people, a form of intimacy and trust for others. You’re just in the latter. That’s fine. I’m always here, so if you want…” he flushes, realizing the implication. Seungmin just looks at him quietly. He clears his throat. “If you want something like this again, I'm always down. I’d rather you be safe with me than be uncomfortable with a stranger.”
“No, it’s not quite that,” Seungmin says. “You don’t mind?”
“Of course not!” Laughing, “you’re my friend. Why would I mind? I’d love to help you in any way I can.” Hyunjin squeezes his hand, “besides, you’re so cute. I really want to see you like that again. Ah, really. You were adorable.”
“Oh, shut up,” Seungmin grumbles, slapping his hand away lightly. He turns away in the direction of the bathroom. “I’m gonna go clean up. Don’t come banging on the door; I'll punch you, swear.”
“Of course,” Hyunjin beams and follows him to the bathroom anyways.