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“Hi! Join po kayo sa club namin!” Jhoanna gleefully greeted each and every student who passed by their booth, patiently handing out their flyers even though none of the students seemed to be interested enough in a Radio Broadcasting organization.
It’s Recruitment Day and the university plaza is filled with different booths of different organizations all designed to make them seem captivating to new and old students alike. The sun is shining brightly prompting the other students to seek shade inside their tents but Jhoanna didn’t mind, or atleast tried her best not to.
After all, she made it a goal to be the Best in Recruitment awardee in all organizations this year and if that means being under the scorching heat of the sun for the entire day, then so be it.
Her eyes darted to one side of the street, scrutinizing decorations of the other organizations. The Environment-centered organization certainly made sure to flash their best cutout leaves and trees along with pictures of dolphins and squirrels. Meanwhile, their rival organization, the TV Broadcasting org definitely made sure to steal the attention of the masses with their mascot wearing who happily took photos with everyone.
Jhoanna’s eyes darted to their flyer, one where a microphone and mixer along with other captivating fonts sit in the material.
Maganda naman din samin ah? Bakit wala man lang tumitigil masyado? She thought at the back of her head.
“Ano, Jho? May nag-sign up na?” Sheena asked as she handed Jhoanna a bottle of water. The plastic lid made a cracking noise just as Jhoanna indulged on the cold liquid traversing down her throat, replenishing her from the heat of the sun.
“Ilan pa nga lang ‘e. Nasaan na ba kasi si Colet? Di ba siya dapat nandito since marami may crush dun?” Jhoanna wondered, opening her mini electric fan and directing it to her face.
Sheena just shrugged, looking at their vicinity for a certain brunette who normally carries a guitar with her because sino nga ba si Colet Vergara if hindi niya hawak ang gitara niya? Magkakambal na nga ata sila nun.
Jhoanna can’t judge her though. If Sheena’s thing was dancing and Jhoanna’s passion was to be a broadcasting host, Colet would be a singer and performer. Her friend was born to be on a big stage, that Jhoanna is sure of.
Sana lang talaga sumusunod siya sa call time nila.
“Sabi kanina papunta na pero di pa naman nagpapakita.”
Jhoanna just rolled her eyes, grabbing the pack of flyers she set on the table earlier, preparing to once again entice students to join their club habang wala pa si Colet.
“Text mo nga. Baka matapos na araw tas wala pa rin tayong masyadong members.” Sheena nodded as she pulled out her phone, typing a quick text to their missing friend.
“Hi, join po kayo sa org namin!” Jhoanna smiled widely at another pack of students who passed by but didn’t even take a second to look at whatever she was holding.
“Hi! Join Radio Org!.”
“Hi! May freebies kami for new members.”
“Hi! Check out our org po.”
Jhoanna’s throat was starting to get hoarse. Idagdag mo pa ang kumakalam niyang tiyan dahil hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin sila nagta-tanghalian ni Sheena. Si Colet rin hanggang ngayon hindi pa dumadating dahil apparently, traffic daw sa Welcome Rotonda.
“Shee, bili na muna ko ng food natin.” Jhoanna volunteered, grabbing her purse from her bag. Sheena just nodded in response, fanning herself with the flyers in her hand. “Sige, Jho. Ako na lang magbantay dito.”
Normally, Jhoanna would opt for her favorite Tapsilog place in Dapitan but figuring that it’s too much of a walk and the sun has never shone so brightly than at this moment, she figured it's best to buy from the Carpark instead.
After buying from her favorite stall, Jhoanna proceeded back to their tent when she noticed a figure standing in front of it. It was a girl wearing denim pants and a black shirt.
Hala, may gusto mag-join ata? Bakit walang naga-asikaso?
She glanced at their booth and realized Sheena was no longer there, causing Jhoanna to hurriedly run over. Mahirap na baka umalis pa yung babae at sayang naman kung mawawalan sila ng isa pang signee. Every member counts ika nga.
“Hi! Are you interested in joining our org?” Jhoanna flashed her best smile, ready to swoon the heart of whoever this girl was para siguradong magsi-sign up siya as a member but her smile soon vanished when her eyes darted to the ID lace worn by the girl.
Cable Television Organization
Jhoanna tried her best to stop her eyes from rolling. Kumalat na rin kasi ang balita about the different organizations possibly sending out members to investigate if sinong nangunguna na org in terms of recruitment.
Jhoanna wonders bakit kailangan pa sila manmanan. Kitang kita naman na wala masyadong sumasali sa kanila.
“Hi. I’m just looking lang,” the other girl politely answered.
“Ofcourse, you are.” Jhoanna muttered under her breath prompting the other girl to turn and face her with a confused expression. “I’m sorry?”
“Wala, wala.” Jhoanna dismissed, walking over to the other side of the booth behind the freebie and sign up sheets. While doing so, she didn’t fail to examine the other girl… or so, the spy.
The girl was tall but not way taller than Jhoanna was. Her hair was curled just enough to say she made an effort to look pretty but not that she spent hours dolling up. She was wearing a black shirt tucked in denim pants which is the usual outfit for org events. If magpapakatotoo lang rin si Jhoanna, aaminin niya, maganda ang babaeng nasa harapan niya.
“Is Radio Broadcasting better than TV Broadcasting?” The girl asked, catching Jhoanna’s attention away from the food she sat down on the table.
It was like something clicked in Jhoanna. Ito yung tanong na matagal na niyang pinaghahandaan. A lot of people seem to think that TV Broadcasting is a lot better than Radio Broadcasting but in reality, or atleast for her, the former is at par or maybe even better than the latter.
“They both have advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion, Radio Broadcasting provides for more transparency and more liberty when it comes to news reporting.” Jhoanna explained as she pointed to the articles laid down on their table.
“It also needs less manpower, it’s just the host, his booth, and if he’s lucky, maybe two or three staff . Also, if you think about it, it uses less electricity and resources because there’s not much equipment needed. Nakatulong ka pa sa environment diba?”
She watched as the raven-haired girl nodded, running her delicate fingers on the news article sheets laid on the table.
“Pwede rin naman yun gawin sa TV Broadcasting.” The other girl challenged but Jhoanna didn’t back down. She’s not the organization’s External Vice President if not for her skill of enticing people into agreeing with her.
“Okay but what happens when there’s a power outtage? Kapag hindi makakagamit ang mga tao ng kuryente. Radyo ang nilalapitan nila diba? Radio Broadcasting and Radio News are much more accessible to the masses. It’s efficient and adjusts to the situation. Kaya ba ‘yun gawin ng TV Broadcasting niyo?”
The other girl’s eyebrows raised, seemingly caught off guard by the change in Jhoanna’s tone. Silence loomed in the air and Jhoanna couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride in her veins. Pakiramdam niya she just won a debate. A smirk was about to form on her face when the other girl suddenly chuckled, making a snorting sound from her throat.
“Oh bakit ka tumatawa?” Jhoanna asked, trying to hide the annoyance in her voice.
The taller girl faced her, her perfect lips still wearing that amused grin. “Wala naman, parang galit na galit ka kasi ‘e. Nakakunot pa noo mo. May sama ng loob ka ba sa org namin?”
Jhoanna didn’t even realize that she already had a sour look on her face. She shook her head, relaxing her features before facing the girl again, taking a deep breath before speaking again.
“Wala naman, I’m just saying.” She said, giving a forced smile to pacify the situation.
The stranger merely chuckled again before grabbing the pen on top of the table. Jhoanna’s eyes widened upon seeing the girl write her name, program, and section down.
“Huy, hindi ba bawal sa inyo mag-join ng competitor org?” Jhoanna inquired but the girl continued signing her name, ending it with her signature at the far right of the paper.
“Yeah but I’m not planning on renewing my membership.” The girl smiled at her. “I feel like it’s time to venture to another platform. After all, sabi mo nga it’s better, right? Isn't it rational to always go for the better opportunity…”
Jhoanna watched as the girl’s eyes cascaded from her astonished expression down to her ID where her name tag was placed.
“…Jhoanna?” Her name slipped from the other girl’s tongue swiftly.
The younger girl wanted to respond and she would’ve done so had the other girl walked away already but not before leaving one last piece.
“See you at the interviews, Ms. Competitive.”
Jhoanna watched as the girl walked over to her current org’s booth, ecstatically greeted by her fellow org mates. The younger girl’s eyes never left the stranger’s figure, as if it was glued there, like in a trance.
“Sino ‘yun?” Sheena suddenly appeared from behind her holding a portable speaker in her hands. She was followed by Colet casually carrying her guitar and backpack. “Jho, sorry, traffic talaga sa Welcome kanina.”
Jhoanna didn’t pay them any mind though. Her eyes were still fixed at the other girl who in turn also found hers right at the exact moment. If Jhoanna was not hallucinating, it may even be said that the girl gave her a playful wink but hey, it might’ve been just her.
Her eyes turned to the paper where fresh new ink was imposed, bearing the information of the girl who just caught her attention.
Maraiah Queen Arceta
2021-72****
Faculty of Pharmacy
“Love, gising na po.” Jhoanna yawned as she softly nudged a sleeping Aiah on her bed, trying to wake her up from her sleep. Jhoanna stretched her arms and legs, trying to wake her limbs up kahit na sobrang antok pa rin niya kasi ala-una na sila nakatulog kanina.
Her eyes darted to the clock on top of Aiah’s drawer, realizing she’s waking her girlfriend up just in time. Aiah had asked her the night before to wake her up early dahil marami pa siyang kailangan aralin para sa Biochem quiz nila mamaya.
Tandang tanda pa niya ang sinabi ni Aiah kagabi bago nito mapagpasyahan mahiga na at matulog dahil hindi na niya makayanan manatiling gising para mag-aral. Napaghahalo na rin niya kasi lahat ng concepts and terms na binabasa niya which was usually a sign that she needs to rest and sleep it off already.
“Love, pagising po ng 4am please. Kahit buhusan mo ko ng tubig basta magising. Ang dami ko pa kasi need aralin.”
Aiah even stressed the importance of this quiz and on how it will affect 20% of their Midterm grade that’s why she needs to study rigorously for it. Ofcourse, Jhoanna happily obliged. Siya rin naman kasi mas mababaw usually ang tulog sa kanilang dalawa.
“Love?” Jhoanna tried again, sitting beside Aiah who resorted to hugging the cat plushie Jhoanna gifted her nung hindi na niya mayakap ang girlfriend niyang bumangon kani-kanina lang.
“5 minutes, love.” Aiah muttered in her sleeping voice, clutching the plushie closer to her chest, nuzzling her nose in it knowing that it carries Jhoanna’s perfume scent. Noong binigay kasi sa kanya yun ni Jhoanna, she sprayed her favorite perfume all over it para daw kapag di sila magkasama, Aiah could still feel like she was there and they wouldn’t miss each other that much.
As if that works. Tuwing maghihiwalay nga sila, with Aiah going home to her condo and Jhoanna going home to their house in Valenzuela, tinatawagan na nila agad agad ang isa’t isa. Yung parang miss na miss ba kahit kakahiwalay lang. Running joke na nga rin ng barkada na mahihiya ang mag-asawang katol sa kung gaano sila ka-clingy sa isa’t isa.
“Love, sabi mo po gisingin kita ng 5am.” Jhoanna softly uttered, brushing her thumb over Aiah’s eyebrows. She observed how her girlfriend’s lids eased with calmness, a complete contrast to how it was last night when she was stressing over her assignments.
“Yes love but 5 minutes, please?” Aiah whispered again, head leaning towards Jhoanna’s touch like instinct, like it’s a habit she already knew by memory. Jhoanna sighed, planting a kiss on her girlfriend’s temple.
Truth be told, if it was only up to Jhoanna, hahayaan na lang niyang matulog ang girlfriend niya. Ilang araw na rin kasi siyang babad sa pag-aaral na hindi na ito nakakapag-pahinga ng maayos. But she also knows that if Aiah doesn’t get up soon, she’ll stress over how little time she has left to study and that she has to sacrifice her lunch time para lang mahabol ang kailangan pang aralin.
“Okay, 5 minutes ha?” Jhoanna caved in, ano ba naman kasi yung limang minuto diba? Aiah merely nodded her head in response, muttering a soft ‘love you’ as she indulged in five more minutes of bedtime.
Jhoanna stood up from Aiah’s bed, covering her girlfriend’s leg with a blanket and directing the electric fan to face her. When that’s settled, she walked over to the kitchen counter, putting up water on the kettle and grabbing from the cupboard two packs of drip coffee from Aiah’s favorite place.
She grabbed her and Aiah’s coffee mugs, Aiah’s being the one with a stethoscope in it while hers having a microphone design. A smile formed on Jhoanna’s face remembering the day Aiah gave her these. Kakagaling lang kasi ni Aiah noon from her Korea trip with her family and she visited a ceramics shop where they taught her how to make mugs.
Aiah being the thoughtful person that she is, designed and brought home two mugs after, excitedly showing Jhoanna the design that she made that perfectly encapsulates both their aspirations and personalities.
Jhoanna sat down Aiah’s mug on her table accompanied by Hansel Crackers— Aiah’s go-to biscuit before turning to face the sleeping figure of her girlfriend. Jhoanna sat on the bed once again, grabbing the toy plushie all sprawled on the floor after it had fallen from Aiah’s cushion.
“Love, 5 minutes is up na po. Bangon na.” Jhoanna lightly tapped Aiah’s arm earning a whine from the other. Instead of opening her eyes, Aiah merely covered her face with a pillow and made inaudible noises. The corner of Jhoanna’s lips raised, finding her girlfriend’s actions truly endearing.
“Love, I made you coffee. Lalamig yun bahala ka,” Jhoanna teased knowing that Aiah doesn’t like lukewarm coffee kaya sigurado na siyang babangon na ‘to anytime now.
Jhoanna thought she succeeded already in waking her girlfriend up when Aiah uncovered her face with her pillow. Her girlfriend’s gorgeous features, albeit her disheveled hair and parted lips, welcoming her sight.
“Good morning.” Jhoanna smiled, “Ayan, bangon n—”
A small squeal escaped Jhoanna’s lips just as Aiah pulled her back down to lay next to her, arms wrapping around Jhoanna firmly, legs intertwining with hers like a Koala bear, locking her in place.
Jhoanna wasn’t even able to protest immediately. Paano ba naman kasi, in a span of one second, from normal biglang bumilis ang tibok ng puso niya just being in Aiah’s arms. Hindi niya rin alam kung bakit. Hindi naman ito first time nila mag-cuddle but siguro, as a physical touch person, Jhoanna’s heart never fails to swoon at Aiah’s random gestures like this.
“Ay nako, ginigising tapos biglang mang-cuddle. Tsuma-tsansing ka naman sakin eh.” Jhoanna could only tease while also gently clinging to Aiah’s arms, her thumb grazing over the other’s skin intimately.
Jhoanna feels Aiah giggle from behind her, a sigh of contentment escaping her girlfriend’s breath. “One more 5 minutes po. Last na promise. Just need my daily cuddles.”
Wala nang nagawa si Jhoanna but to accede to her girlfriend’s request. Lumamig man ang kape, iinitin na lang nila ulit. Mabawasan man ang oras ng aral, babawasan na lang rin ni Jhoanna ang oras ng ligo niya. Ang importante, she’s starting her day with a heart full of love knowing she’s in the arms of the woman she loves.
“Okay, five more minutes, my love.”
College went by smoothly for Jhoanna and Aiah. It was an everyday routine na gigisingin nila ang isa’t isa, magu-update on each other’s whereabouts, maglu-lunch or magdi-dinner together kapag kaya ng schedule, magda-date whenever they can even if most of those dates is just both of them sitting in a cafe, both doing their own thing, both studying their own readings.
Tuwing exams, sabay sila palagi nag-aaral, sabay nagre-review. They were a team. Tinutulungan ni Jhoanna si Aiah mag-aral for her exams, asking her questions using her flashcards while Aiah also accompanies her at night when she needs to finish rendering her school projects and presentations.
They fit each other so well. They know each other so well.
No one gives the other any worries that might cause them jealousy or to overthink. They even consider each other in every action they do. Magugustuhan ba ‘to ni Aiah? Magugustuhan ba ‘to ni Jhoanna? And when the answer’s yes, hindi nila ginagawa. This saved them a lot of arguments and in the rare instances na mag-away man sila, they make it a habit to talk calmly and even take some time apart if need be.
Wala ring problema sa pamilya nila. Jhoanna’s mom accepts Aiah like her own daughter, even volunteering to take her out on dates kahit wala si Jhoanna. Nagjo-joke pa nga si Jhoanna minsan na parang si Aiah na yung anak at hindi siya but truth be told, her heart couldn’t be happier seeing the two women she loves most in her life get along with each other just fine.
On Aiah’s side, her parents were very welcoming of Jhoanna as well. Who wouldn’t when they see Jhoanna as a very good influence on Aiah’s life.
Nakita nila how Jhoanna inspires Aiah to be at her best potential. Laging nagpapaalala na kahit importanteng maabot ang pangarap, importante ring magpahinga at unahin ang sarili. Jhoanna was also never rude. She was never unkind to Aiah and her family, palaging magalang at may respeto kaya naman walang rason kung bakit hindi boboto ang magulang ni Aiah sa kanya.
“Tita, tulungan ko na po kayo diyan…” Jhoanna volunteered to take the heavy pot from her Tita Gia, Aiah’s mom.
It was the 50th birthday of Aiah’s father kaya may malaking salo-salo sa bahay ng mga Arceta. It’s a good thing both Jhoanna and Aiah have no classes for the next week. Something about a sanity break granted by the University to its students after its recently concluded Final Examinations. Kahit papano may konting pahinga sila. They wouldn’t have to worry about any of their academic obligations until it’s time to pass any final requirements just before graduation time.
“Ay thank you iha,” her Tita Gia replied, carefully handing the pot to Jhoanna who then sat it down on top of the kitchen island. She watched as Aiah’s mom grabbed a ladle from one of the drawers and a glass tray to pour the dish in.
“How’s your mom, Jho?” Jhoanna heard Aiah’s mom ask as she slowly scooped out the Paella she just cooked onto the tray next to her. Jhoanna gave her a warm smile, “Okay naman po siya, Tita. Masayang masaya ngayong ga-graduate na po kami.”
The woman in her mid-40s chuckled, nodding in agreement knowing that every parent’s dream is to see their child succeed in life. Graduation being the first step before venturing out into the real world where they would make their own mark.
“May plans ka na ba on where you’ll work?”
“Meron na po. The broadcasting company that I interned po with last year gave me an offer to work for them as an editorial writer right after I graduate,” Jhoanna said excitedly, reminiscing that random day where she received an email from one of her bosses during her internship day commending her for her work and offering her to be part of their editorial team.
She remembered being so happy. Her internship days in that prestigious broadcasting company were perhaps one of the happiest experiences she’s ever had in her life. She got along with everybody. They never belittled her and even considered her ideas on how to go about their daily reports. She likewise had a good working relationship with everyone she encountered.
Apart from the experience, additional blessing na lang rin that she’s asked to work for them again in full time. At alam ni Jhoanna that this opportunity is something she would never let pass.
“That’s great. I’m happy for you, iha.” Aiah’s mom gave her a genuine smile, taking the last bit of food from the container before putting it down on the sink for the maids to clean later. “Aiah was given an offer too, I’m sure you know. But I think she’s still considering it for some reason.”
Surprise laced Jhoanna’s features although she tried to hide it from Aiah’s mom. Wala namang nabanggit sa kanya si Aiah regarding any offer from any medical school. Ang alam niya nag-iintay pa rin si Aiah ng results from all the universities she applied for.
“An offer po?” Jhoanna asked, trying to hide her curiosity.
“Oo, yung sa scholarship grant niya sa isang med school sa Canada.” Tita Gia said calmly, oblivious to the fact that this was new information for Jhoanna. “Aiah always wanted to study there kaya when her Tita, my sister, migrated there two years ago, nagsabi na siya na sasama siya eventually after graduating. Who would’ve thought na mabibigyan din siya ng scholarship diba?”
Jhoanna didn’t know what to feel. A part of her was extremely happy for Aiah knowing how much of a great opportunity this is for her to study abroad. But some part of her also feels scared knowing how this would mean that she and Aiah will be apart for a very long time.
“Hi Ma. Ang seryoso naman ata ng usapan niyo.” Aiah’s voice echoed Jhoanna’s ears, signaling that the raven-haired girl had already entered the kitchen. Jhoanna thinks Aiah must’ve noticed the sullen expression on her face na kahit sinubukan niyang itago, halata pa rin dahil kilalang kilala na siya ni Aiah.
Aiah’s mom just smiled, preparing to head out as she carried the tray of Paella with her. “Hindi naman. I was just telling Jhoanna about the scholarship you were offered in Canada. But I’ll take this out muna ha? I’ll be back in a bit after checking with your father.”
It was crickets when Aiah’s mom left.
The two stood there quietly, not uttering a single thing.
Jhoanna didn’t even dare to look up from her eyes that were fixed on the kitchen counter. Aiah, on the other hand, knew that the first words shouldn’t come from her because it’s Jhoanna who has the right to talk first, seeing as though she was the one who just found out about the scholarship Aiah never mentioned about.
After a few silent moments, with only the chatter from outside gracing the area with noise, and after pondering for a bit on what’s the proper thing to say, Jhoanna finally said something.
“Scholarship, love?” Jhoanna asked, turning to face Aiah whose blood seemingly drained from her face.
Jhoanna knows this look all too well. She knows Aiah feels frightened after having been caught in a lie, kaya naman she is forced to put on a smile just to lighten things up a bit. Ayaw niyang natatakot sa kanya si Aiah and besides, kahit naman ang daming tumatakbo sa isip niya, masaya pa rin naman siya para sa girlfriend niya.
“Yes, I… I received the letter two weeks ago. I’m sorry for not telling you, love.” Aiah explained, feet warily walking towards Jhoanna. “I was just worried about how you’d react.”
“Why would you be worried? Siyempre magiging masaya ako para sayo. Come here,” Jhoanna beamed, pulling Aiah closer to her, wrapping her in a tight hug hoping it would mask the apprehension she feels in her chest.
“Congratulations, love. Sobrang proud na proud ako sayo.” Jhoanna assures, feeling Aiah relax into her body, chin nuzzling itself on Jhoanna’s shoulder. “Thank you, love. I wouldn’t get it without you to be honest. Thank you for always inspiring me.”
They basked in each other’s presence for a moment before both of them pulled away with Aiah caressing Jhoanna’s cheeks, eyes gazing lovingly at the other girl.
“And hey, saglit lang naman ‘yun. Before you know it, I’m back here na ulit. Dito ko pa rin naman balak mag-practice.” Aiah said ecstatically, completely optimistic about the situation at hand.
Jhoanna wishes she feels the same. She wishes na sana kaya niya ring maging optimistic without even thinking about the endless possibilities that could happen once Aiah leaves kaso hindi ‘e. Being apart was not something she’s prepared for. Engaging in a long distance relationship was not something she ever considered doing.
She’s not prepared for how difficult it would be knowing how much time she and Aiah usually share together. Hindi nga sila mapaghiwalay ‘e. How could they possibly manage to get through this?
But despite all of those worries and her doubts, isa lang naman ang alam at sigurado si Jhoanna at yun ay ang mahal niya si Aiah.
May mga bagay man na hindi sigurado. Hinaharap na wala siyang alam kung anong mangyayari at buhay na hindi niya alam kung saan patungo. Alam niyang mahal niya si Aiah and for that reason alone, she’s willing to try.
With that she smiled at her girlfriend, holding her firmly by the waist, intimately pulling her closer. “Yeah, saglit lang yun. Dadaan na parang 5 minutes lang.”
Aiah smiled at her back, gaze fixed on Jhoanna’s lips.
“Exactly, 5 minutes lang.” Aiah mutters, encircling her arms on Jhoanna’s neck, sealing their conversation with a kiss.
“I think we should break up…” Jhoanna muttered under her breath, trying her best to prevent her voice from breaking.
Hindi inakala ni Jhoanna na sasabihin niya ang mga salitang yan. Mahal na mahal niya si Aiah at naniniwala siya na kapag mahal mo ipaglalaban mo. Kahit anong problema, kahit anong hirap, hindi mo sila bibitawan dahil walang problema ang mas masakit pa kaysa mawala sila sa buhay mo.
Kakapit ka sa pagmamahal niyo hanggat kaya mo.
Pero lahat din pala ng bagay may dulo.
It’s been a tough two years for both her and Aiah. Akala niya kaya nilang malampasan lahat ng hirap. Akala niya sapat na ang pagmamahal na meron sila para malampasan nila lahat ng problema na parating ngayong magkahiwalay sila ng bansang tinitirhan pero hindi pala.
Okay naman ang unang mga nakaraang buwan ng relasyon nila simula ng umalis si Aiah. The time difference aside, they made sure to contact and update each other as frequently as they could. Every morning, she’ll receive a photo from Aiah of her coming home after class and Jhoanna will send one right back to her on her way to work.
But soon enough, as time went by, unti unti na silang naging busy sa kanya kanya nilang buhay. Kapag gabi sa Canada, umaga para kay Jhoanna. Ang umagahan ng isa ay hapunan naman ng kabila. Movie nights turned into work nights. Scheduled calls turned into forgotten ones.
Umuuwi naman si Aiah once a year but in those two years, nandito lang siya ng isang linggo and apart from Jhoanna, may pamilya din naman siyang kailangang bigyan ng oras.
Hindi naman galit si Jhoanna. Hindi rin niya kayang magtampo kasi alam naman niyang talagang ito ang kailangang gawin ni Aiah sa ngayon. Nahihirapan lang siya sa sitwasyon nila pero pinanghahawakan niya na pagkatapos mag-aral ni Aiah sa ibang bansa, babalik din naman siya dito at magkakasama na silang dalawa.
It was until she found out that Aiah was offered a residency program in Canada that she knew maybe things have already reached the far end between them.
“What?” Aiah replied, stopping in her tracks. Her feet remained solid on the concrete, unmoving like it's stuck there slowly sinking her in. Her fingers instinctively clasped itself tighter onto Jhoanna’s, afraid that if she didn't, she might never have the chance to hold it again.
Jhoanna stared at their hands intertwined together before gazing back at Aiah whose eyes were now glistening with tears, “It’s the right thing to do.”
Aiah was about to protest when Jhoanna spoke again.
“I know about the residency program, Aiah.” Jhoanna smiled at her defeatedly, desperate in trying to stop the tears from forming in her eyes. She held Aiah’s hand tighter, her heart breaking at the idea that this may perhaps be the last time she’ll ever hold these hands.
“How did you know about that?” Aiah asked, genuinely, feeling frightened over how Jhoanna knew. Hindi niya sinabi kay Jhoanna dahil kilala niya ang girlfriend niya, pag nalaman niyang she just got offered another huge career opportunity, she’ll push her to take it. Jhoanna will never hold her down even if she knows na mas matagal na naman silang magkakalayo.
“Does it matter? Pangarap mo yun, love. At hindi totoong mahal kita, if hindi kita susuportahan sa pangarap mo.” Jhoanna replied, eyes staring deeply at Aiah’s who only shook her head, drops of tears assembling itself beneath her feet.
Aiah thought of how ever since she was a little kid, there was nothing more in this world she was sure of than wanting to be a surgeon, and where else in the world would be the best to do that than in a country that has health care as its top priority. Kaya nga rin when her Aunt migrated there, she made sure to be updated on one of the universities there and send out her application even years prior graduating in the Philippines.
Gusto niya dun mag-aral. Gusto niya dun mag-trabaho. Gusto niya dun tumira.
That was the plan.
All along it was.
Until Jhoanna came along.
“No…” Aiah answered slowly. “We’re not breaking up because I’m not going to take it.”
Aiah felt like someone stomped on her heart after saying those words. Wala nang mas sasakit pa sa isang sitwasyon na kailangan mong mamili kung mas pipiliin mo ba ang pangarap mo o ang taong mahal mo pero sa segundong ito, mas alam niyang hindi niya kayang mabuhay ng wala si Jhoanna.
“Ano?” Jhoanna asked, hopeful eyes glistening with tears soon turned into disbelief. “B-bakit? Ang laking opportunity non, Aiah. Hindi ba pangarap mo mag-aral dun?”
“Nakapag-aral na ko dun, Jho. I already fulfilled my dream. Okay na ‘ko dun.” Aiah reasoned, “After med school, uuwi na ako dito just like we’ve always planned. Ayoko nang malayo sayo kaya wag na wag mo ulit sasabihin na gusto mong makipag-hiwalay sakin.”
Aiah started walking ahead forward, clearly trying to evade the conversation when Jhoanna pulled her back.
“You’re going to accept it, Aiah. Hindi ka babalik ng Pilipinas nang dahil lang sakin.” Jhoanna said firmly, jaw clenching in defiance.
“Jho, please. Tama na. Ayoko nang pag-usapan ‘to.” Aiah begged, “Kung ano namang matututunan ko dun, maaral ko din dito. What’s the point diba? Atleast pag dito kasama kita.”
“The point is mas inuuna mo ko kaysa sa pangarap mo, Aiah!” Jhoanna’s voice heightened, frustration evident in it. “Naririnig mo ba sarili mo? Ang ganda ganda na ng buhay mo dun tas itatapon mo lang?”
“Magiging kasama kita at yun ang importante para sakin.” Aiah says it so meekly, na parang bang yun lang iniisip niya sa oras ‘to. That nothing else mattered right at that moment than her love for Jhoanna. At kaya niyang itapon ang kahit ano man para sa kanya.
Jhoanna’s heart softened at the sight of Aiah who only had her head down, feeling smaller and smaller as the argument went on.
Jhoanna could only wrap her arms around her with Aiah sobbing her heart out on her shoulders. “I’m sorry, love. I’m sorry.” She apologized repeatedly, running her hands on Aiah’s hair, trying to comfort the other girl when tears were also attempting to fall from her eyes.
“Ayokong makipaghiwalay sayo, Jho. Hindi ko kaya.” Aiah pleaded, clutching Jhoanna’s clothes closer.
“It’s going to be okay, love.” Jhoanna assured the older girl, “Alam kong masakit ngayon. Alam kong pakiramdam mo hindi mo kaya but kilala ko yung babaeng minahal ko, lahat nalalampasan nun.”
“Jho…” Aiah cried, her knuckles turning white over how hard she’s grasping Jhoanna’s shirt, like it’s the relationship she’s desperately trying to save.
“Ako ang magiging pinakamasaya para sayo kapag naabot mo ang mga pangarap mo, love. Lahat ng mga pagpupuyat natin dati, lahat ng luha, lahat yun magiging worth it pag nandun ka na.”
Jhoanna pulled away and placed her lips on Aiah’s forehead, taking her time knowing that this may be the last time she’ll have the chance to do so.
“Lagi mo tatandaan yung mga paalala ko ha? Huwag magpapalipas ng gutom. Kung kaya, matulog on time. You know you get drowsy kapag wala kang tulog.” Jhoanna smiled, trying to relieve her chest with air but Aiah only hugged her again, never letting go.
“Mahal kita, Aiah. Mahal na mahal. Lumipas man ang maraming panahon, ikaw lang ang mamahalin ko. Palagi mo yun tatandaan.”
“Oh my gosh, Jhoanna! Eto na pala External VP natin,” Jhoanna heard one of their members exclaim as she approached their table.
Sabay sabay naman lumingon ang lahat to give Jhoanna a customary hug. After all, it’s been 10 years since they graduated from college.
“Grabe, hindi naman halatang na-miss niyo ko.” Jhoanna joked, earning giggles from everyone. A wave of nostalgia hits her when she sees Colet, who just went down from the stage, approaching her, still carrying a guitar as always.
“Colet,” Jhoanna wrapped her arms around the other. “Ikaw di ka pa rin nagbabago, hanggang ngayon buhat buhat mo ‘yang gitara mo.”
“Alam mo hanggang ngayon pinupulis mo ko diyan. Ikaw nga, grabe iba ka na broadcaster ka na. Di ka na ma-reach.” Her old friend fired back with a smile.
“Baliw! Parang di naman tayo nagkita nung isang ara—”
Jhoanna’s words were cut off when someone shouted from her behind.
“Aiah? Oh my god! You’re here!”
Jhoanna stiffened like stone when she heard that name. Her gaze fixed on the front wall, hesitant to turn around and see the girl she hasn’t seen in 8 years.
Jhoanna felt Colet’s hands on her arm, grounding her as if telling her that it’s okay to feel nostalgic and to feel a sense of longingness over someone you used to love so much.
Jhoanna slowly turned around and there she was— Jhoanna’s first love.
Aiah Arceta.
Her hair was a little longer than Jhoanna last remembered. Her features were just as captivating yet one can see that she had matured throughout the years. Aiah was wearing a white silk top and skirt, giving everyone who approached her a hug just like Jhoanna did.
Jhoanna was staring so much that she didn’t even realize Aiah’s already right in front of her.
“Hi.” Aiah greeted. Jhoanna didn’t even realize how much she had missed the other girl. The question of whether than longingness means something more or not is a question she doesn’t want to entertain right now.
“Hi.” Jhoanna could only say back.
Aiah’s attention was diverted to Colet who also gave her a hug while Jhoanna was swept away by another friend.
If Jhoanna was to be honest, she spent the next hour observing Aiah, realizing that her movements, the way she laughed, all of it aside from her accent, was still the same as before, only with a hint of more sophistication.
“Parang ang lalim naman ng iniisip mo,” Jhoanna heard a familiar voice while she was lounging in the balcony of the hotel events area.
“Sakto lang, grabe ka naman.” Jhoanna smiled at her ex-girlfriend who approached her with a wine glass in her hand. Jhoanna took a gulp her own glass, trying to calm her nerves.
“How are you, Jho?” Aiah asked, the nickname gracefully slipping from her tongue.
Ang daming gusto sabihin ni Jhoanna. How she’s so happy that she recently got promoted to lead broadcaster. How she recently bought a new car. How she’s slowly saving up for her own house. How its as if everything in her life fell into place qnd it’s just Aiah who’s missing from it now.
Unfortunately, she knows she can’t say that. She’s no longer allowed to.
“I’m okay, Aiah.” Jhoanna settled for such a short answer.
“I saw you sa LED screen sa Makati when we were on our way home the other day. Congrats, broadcaster ka na.”
Jhoanna could only smile, “Thank you. Things worked out the way they should no?” She asked, insinuation evident in her voice that maybe she’s not merely talking about their professions but also of how their relationship had ended.
“It did.” Aiah smiled, genuinely, taking a sip of her drink. A few moments later, her phone lit up prompting her to turn back to Jhoanna with an apologetic look.
“I have to go. Nandiyan na yung sundo ko,” Aiah said, setting down her glass on the table, Jhoanna’s gaze following her actions.
Jhoanna watched as Aiah started walking away. But before she can turn to where Jhoanna couldn’t see her, the latter finds it in herself to call her one last time.
“Aiah.”
“Hmm?”
Jhoanna’s eyes travel down to Aiah’s hands and the glistening ring encircled on her finger, a complete synonym of how her eyes are at this moment.
“Congratulations on your wedding.”
Jhoanna says it so softly albeit the genuineness it truly entails.
Aiah only gave her one last smile.
It was the same smile she gave her that day at the Recruitment Fair when they first met.
Only this time, that same smile signifies farewell, one that closes all the loose ends.
One that closes their story forever.
“Thank you, Jhoanna. I hope you also find the happiness you deserve.”