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walk of luck

Summary:

“We met each other on a Sunday morning, both doing our walk of shame” AU

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Stiles bends down and picks up his red t-shirt from the pile in the corner. He had already pulled on his boxers and his jeans, discovered his wallet had fallen out in the living room, and now he just has to find his cell phone. Stiles winces when he realizes he has no memory of the last time he’d seen it.

The gorgeous girl starfished on the bed in front of him stretches out and moans. Stiles freezes in his tracks, stares at her, while he can feel his heart pound in his throat. What was her name again? Ma…Maya…May…Malia. Right.

Notes:

Originally posted as a tumblr ficlet here!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Stiles bends down and picks up his red t-shirt from the pile in the corner. He had already pulled on his boxers and his jeans, discovered his wallet had fallen out in the living room, and now he just has to find his cell phone. Stiles winces when he realizes he has no memory of the last time he’d seen it.

The gorgeous girl starfished on the bed in front of him stretches out and moans. Stiles freezes in his tracks, stares at her, while he can feel his heart pound in his throat. What was her name again? Ma…Maya…May…Malia. Right.

She seemed nice, they definitely had fun last night, but fuck, Stiles is too old to be doing this shit. He runs his hand through his hair when he realizes Malia isn’t waking up.

Stiles hears a phone buzz somewhere in the room and he drops to the floor to look underneath the bed. He spots it and crawls around the floor to grab it. And it’s a Samsung.

That’d be great, if he didn’t own an iPhone 5c. Stiles silences it, wondering if Princess Kira is important to Malia. He straightens, staying on his knees, and slips the phone next to Malia’s head. Just in case it’s an emergency and this Princess Kira needs to get a hold of her.

It occurs to him that Kira is the name of the girl Malia wouldn’t shut up about last night. If he hadn’t been so damn drunk last night, he probably wouldn’t have let her pull him upstairs. Who lives above a bar anyway? It must get so noisy on weekends.

He shakes his head, amused that that’s what he’s more concerned about. The truth is that he was tired and sad last night. Drunk and hot girls aren’t always the best combination. But Malia had been fun. They’d laughed a lot. He remembers that much. She had told him she was only looking for one night, but they’d had a long, fairly deep talk.

Kira’s name lights up on Malia’s phone once again and he makes a face. Goddammit, he doesn’t want to get caught on her floor, looking at her like some perv.

Stiles stands up and debates how desperately he needs his stupid phone anyway. He knows that Lydia will kill him if he doesn’t call her to thank her for hooking him up with Malia. Stiles decides to look around the living room again, and clutches his shirt tightly in his hand.

“Goddammit,” he mutters to himself when he steps out into the living room. Stiles notices a piece of paper on Malia’s coffee table. He can’t resist being nosy. He casts a quick glance at the bedroom before he picks up the note.

 

Malia,

I hope you get a chance to celebrate! I left a bottle of champagne in your fridge for you. Sorry I can’t make it tonight. Go nuts, beautiful! You deserve the break after all your hard work.

xo,

Kira

 

He wonders if Kira has a thing for Malia. Fuck, he hopes he didn’t mess that up. Malia had been all over him last night though, so maybe she wasn’t into Kira. Stiles decides to take a shot in the dark, and scribbles out a note for Malia.

 

M,

I think you should take Kira out on a date.

S, the guy you took home last night and who is sorry for disappearing before you woke up

ps. I had fun, I hope you did too.

 

Maybe he’d end up embarrassing himself, but that’s okay. Stiles hears a buzzing from the hall closet and smiles.

“There’s a god.”

He rushes over to find it and when he does, he has to move Malia’s bra off it. Man, they’d been all over this apartment last night. Stiles sees Lydia’s name on the screen and answers.

“Hey Lyds, um, can you just give me a few minutes?” he asks, keeping his voice low.

There’s a sigh and some shuffling noise before Lydia says, “Hurry up, Stilinski. I only have ten minutes.”

He finds his shoes, but not his socks, and considers it an acceptable loss. Stiles unlocks Malia’s apartment door and feels a little sketchy about not being able to bolt lock it behind him. He makes sure the knob itself is locked though and makes his way down the stairs.

“Okay, I can talk now.”

“How did last night go after I introduced you to Malia?” Lydia demands.

“It went…well,” Stiles says, with a laugh. He slips out into the alley behind the bar and glances around. Man, Malia lives in a sketchy neighbourhood. He makes a mental note. “She’s nice, but she was very clear that it was a one-time thing.”

“That’s weird. She was talking to me the other day about how she was looking to settle down,” Lydia says. Her frown is obvious by her tone.

Stiles jogs across the street and pulls his t-shirt on before he starts walking down the boardwalk. He sighs. “I’m thinking she was talking about Kira.”

There’s a pause before Lydia says, “Oh.”

He laughs. “It’s cool. We had fun. She’s a nice girl. But I didn’t really feel the tug, y'know? I want to feel the tug.”

“You know, before I met Allison, I would’ve told you the tug–the spark–it isn’t real. But I felt it when I met her.” Lydia sighs softly. He almost doesn’t hear it.“I can’t believe I didn’t see Malia and Kira coming. I’m so good at that shit!”

Stiles grins. “Yeah. I was pretty drunk and it didn’t really occur to me until this morning. What’s their story?”

“I have no idea.” Lydia lets out a little laugh. “I have absolutely no idea. I did not see that coming. But you two had fun?”

“We did. She’s great. I just left her place now. Did you know she lives above that sketchy bar?” Stiles asks.

“I did. Kira’s been trying to get her to move out for…oh my god! How did Inot see this coming?” Lydia says, dismayed. “For fuck’s sake, Stiles. Allison is going to laugh in my face. I’m sorry it didn’t work out with Malia. I’ll find you someone.”

Stiles shrugs, despite Lydia not being able to see him. “Nawh, don’t worry about it, Lydia. I’ll be okay.”

“Alright. Well, I set up an online profile for you last night. Download the OkCupid app. I’ll text you your log-in information when I hang up. You can give that a shot if you’re serious about finding a relationship.”

“Thanks, Lyds. I–oh my god.

“What is it?”

Stiles drops his voice as he keeps walking. “The hottest guy is walking towards me right now. Like he’s drop-my-pants-right-here hot. Too bad he’s wearing a shirt.”

Lydia’s laugh echos over the phone. She says, “I’ll give you ten bucks if you bump into him on purpose.”

“What?! No way!” Stiles says, grinning now.

“Alright, fifty.”

He can’t take his eyes off the hot man who keeps getting closer. Holy shit. He quietly adds, “He looks like he had a rough night.”

“Is he doing a walk of shame too?” Lydia teases.

“I think he just might be.” As they grow closer to each other, Stiles can see the messy sex hair, the fact that he’s missing a sock, and he thinks he sees the tag from his shirt. “An inside-out and backwards shirt is a good indicator, right?”

“Yes. So he’s probably single, because only single people do one-night-stands. Do it, Stiles. Bump into him like the clumsy idiot you are and ask him out for breakfast. What do you have to lose, Stilinski?” There’s some background noise and then Lydia says, “I gotta go, babe. Good luck. Love you.”

“Love you too,” Stiles says.

The closer he gets to the hottie, the more aware he is that his body is humming. Stiles can’t believe it. He’s actually going to take Lydia’s idiotic advice. He stumbles and lets his shoulder bump into the hottie’s.

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry!” Stiles say, quickly. He wonders if the hot guy can hear how high his voice goes.

The guy stops walking and waves his hand in the air, as if to brush it off. “Yeah. No problem.”

Stiles blinks before he starts laughing. Hot or not, he knows when someone’s regretting the night before. “Oh man, rough night?”

The guy meets his eyes and he looks hungover as fuck. Stiles tries not to be amused - and he also tries not to be jealous. How hot this guy looks hungover is ridiculous; how hot would he look sober?

The man grunts. “You’re not kidding. Tequila is not a man’s friend.”

Stiles laughs, and decides why the fuck not? Really, nothing’s stopping him. He takes a small breath. Lydia had never steered him wrong before. In fact, Stiles is sure the only time she’s ever been wrong is this morning when she thought Malia was looking for a serious relationship.

Stiles blurts, “Yeah? You want to talk about it over breakfast?”

“Are you hitting on me?” the guy asks, squinting. He lifts a hand above his eyes to block out the sun. “It’s eight thirty in the morning. I’m hungover. I’m pretty sure I’m missing my sock and my underwear. And I clearly just came from another person’s bed.”

“I don’t want to be the one to break this to you, but your t-shirt is also on inside-out and backwards,” Stiles teases. He’s unsure if he should feel this comfortable with someone so quickly, but he does and he lets his shoulders relax. He’s sure this is what Scott meant when he saw Isaac for the first time. He’s sure because he doesn’t want to be wrong.

The man looks down and groans. “This is not my day.”

“Hey, a sort-of-decent-looking guy just offered to take you out to breakfast. It can’t be all that bad.” Stiles watches him carefully to see how he reacts.

The guy looks up and eyes Stiles for a moment. “You’re wrong.”

“Oh. Um. Sorry, I’ll leave you–”

“A hot guy just offered to feed me,” the guy corrects. He sticks out his hand, pleasant smile on his lips. “Derek Hale.”

“Stiles Stilinski.”

“Excuse me?” Derek says, raising his eyebrows. “What was that?”

Stiles laughs, casually bumping into Derek’s arm. He’s surprised when Derek smiles at him. Wow. “You think you’re a funny man, don’t you, Derek?”

He shrugs. “I’m not all bad. So, you’re on a walk of shame too, huh Stiles?”

“How’d you know?” Stiles asks.

“You’re missing both socks, and your shirt is on inside-out.” Derek smirks. He leans in and stage whispers, “Plus you reek of stale alcohol.”

“Shut up. You don’t smell any better,” Stiles says, playfully shoving Derek. He immediately wants to pull him back to be closer to him.

When Derek laughs, Stiles inhales sharply. Maybe this whole one-night-stand deal isn’t so bad after all. Not if the morning after means finding the tug.

“You’re paying?” Derek asks, tilting his head to look at Stiles.

Stiles can’t stop the smile that breaks out on his face. “Yeah. Breakfast’s on me.”

Derek pats his butt pockets and says, “Good, because I think I lost my wallet last night.”

“You’re a mess, aren’t you?” Stiles teases. He earns one of Derek’s smile and feels like he might never get used to it.

“Yeah, but as of right now, I’m your mess to deal with. C'mon, Slick. Let’s go get some hangover breakfast.”

“Slick?” Stiles asks.

“Yeah, isn’t that what you said your name is?”

Stiles laughs and bumps into Derek again while they head down the boardwalk together. Stiles rolls his eyes, and points a finger at him. “You know what my name is. You’re probably already thinking of what font you want to tattoo it on your ass in.”

Derek lets out a bark of laughter before he winces and puts a finger to his head. “Oh god, no laughter, it hurts too much.”

 

♚♞♚♞♚♞

 

When they’re still talking to each other over coffee and empty plates three hours later, Stiles has to ask, “This feels so easy. Doesn’t this feel easy?”

Derek seems to debate his answer for a few minutes before he reaches out over the table to grasp Stiles’ finger tips. “Maybe we’re both still drunk.”

Stiles grins. “That’s very likely. So what do you think will happen with the woman you hooked up with last night?”

“Braeden? Nothing. We’ve been friends for years. She probably already wants to forget last night ever happened,” Derek explains.

“Which means you’re absolutely relationship-free if I ask you out to dinner tomorrow?”

Derek laughs. “I don’t know. See, I bumped into this guy on the boardwalk while I did my walk of shame this morning and he offered me breakfast.”

“What’d you do, fall in love with him?” Stiles teases.

“No, actually, I might be too creeped out from that to accept a dinner date from someone else. I need to shower immediately - gotta get rid of his lingering alcohol breath.”

Stiles claps a hand to his mouth, eyes wide, but then Derek raises his eyebrows with a smirk on his lips. Stiles deflates from horror to amusement. “Did anyone ever point out that you think you’re a funny, funny man, Derek Hale?”

“Maybe once or twice. So, are you going to ask me to dinner or what?”

“Dinner?” Stiles murmurs, tightening his grip on Derek’s hand.

Derek shrugs. “Maybe. You have to give me your number first.”

Stiles lets out a laugh as he nods, telling Derek that he’s a smooth one, and he realizes he can’t wait to tell Lydia about this. He finally felt the tug and he found him on a walk of shame.

 

♚♞♚♞♚♞

 

Lydia gives him a hundred bucks for going through with her stupid suggestion, and scoring a date. Stiles uses it to go to Costco to buy bulk packages of small mouthwash bottles. He spends the first three months of their relationship hiding bottles around Derek’s apartment. Never again can Derek say that Stiles’ has bad breath, evening jokingly. It’s okay because Derek likes to do breath tests by kissing him thoroughly whenever he might think that Stiles’ breath smells - there are a lot of tests, and Stiles passes every one of them. 

He also scores another fifty bucks from Lydia when he hears that Malia asked out Kira. Stiles said they’d announce their engagement within six months. They do in five. And Allison convinces Lydia to quit betting against Stiles. She’s on a losing streak, and well, Allison might feel a little guilty for teasing her too much. Lydia doesn’t mind so much because Allison’s smile still gives her the tug.

 

♚♞♚♞♚♞

Notes:

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