Chapter Text
“How long, haa, has it, ha, been?”
“Twelve minutes.”
“Twelve only? Ha, haa… it, it feels like…”
“Save your breath.”
Wearing the disguise of Yuder Ail’s face, Pruelle van Tain panted heavily as he ran in circles around the room. Yuder, who was watching over his training, felt a little disturbed as he saw his own face grimacing with strain. Beside him, sitting in a meditating pose and with a deep crease between his eyebrows, Revlin shand Apeto practiced his focus.
His voice filtered into Yuder and Pruelle’s heads.
[Can… still… me?]
“Your voice is breaking up.”
[Damn it.]
Revlin’s true feelings filtered through easily. Pruelle laughed breathlessly, once again wasting his breath.
Having received an abundance of help from the cavalry, both Revlin and Pruelle showed an intense desire for reciprocity. As a result, they’d already shared an abundance of information about their families, the noble circles, and anything else that might have helped Kishiar la Orr’s goals. One might have thought this would be enough, but they persevered. Being Awakeners, they sincerely improved their abilities in service of the Cavalry.
Consequently, they often came to Yuder Ail, who knew most about Awakener abilities, for help.
Today as well, the three of them had assembled in a spare training room. Their sole witness was a napping Nipollen, tail gently wagging on his red pillow, basking in the early afternoon sunlight.
Yuder had already spent over half an hour focusing on helping Pruelle, who was trying to improve his stamina, while he’d left Revlin to practice on another exercise.
Suddenly, Revlin’s head snapped up. His eyes opened wide.
[Can you still hear me?]
The telepathic voice sounded clearer than usual.
“I can hear you.”
“I, haa… hear you… too…”
[I think I just had a breakthrough…?]
Revlin’s face showed an expression of wonder. His eyes flicked all over the room, as though seeing something invisible.
[Hold on, let me test it.]
Yuder felt the sensation of something snapping; his mind became silent. Revlin had broken the telepathic bond.
They stared at each other for a moment. Sensing that something was going on, Pruelle also slowly came to a stop, panting beside Yuder.
“…Can you still hear me?”
Revlin asked after a moment, frowning.
“No.”
“Were you talking?”
Both Pruelle and Yuder answered in the negative. Revlin’s frown deepened.
“That’s strange. I still feel the sensation of telepathy…”
“Explain what you did.”
“Ah, well… I’m not sure. I thought I had a breakthrough, but if you can’t hear me… I tried inputting a lot of energy into maintaining the telepathy even without conscious thought, with the hope that I could use the rest of my focus on manipulating the telepathy in other ways. But it seems like I just wasted a lot of energy on nothing instead.”
Yuder felt a great wave of surprise, then confusion – both at the situation and at his own reaction. He tried to recenter his thoughts.
“Begin from the start.”
“Alright.”
[…Got it.]
Having gotten used to Yuder’s training methods, Revlin and Pruelle seamlessly started training again. Yuder watched over their progress carefully, intervening whenever possible.
Barely five minutes had passed, when the door suddenly slammed open.
The sound was so surprising that it startled Pruelle into dropping his transformation and Revlin into shattering the newly-reformed telepathy.
“Is everything alright?”
It was Ever, followed by a wide-eyed Kanna. The both of them seemed flustered and a little panicked.
“Miss Ever?”
Pruelle had barely managed to say two words that Ever had already crossed over the room to stand next to him. She gave him a once-over, as if checking for wounds, then glanced around the room.
When reassured that nothing was amiss, she addressed Revlin.
“Is something wrong? Why did you suddenly……… Ah, no, I’m alright.”
She suddenly interrupted herself and turned to Pruelle, as if answering an unasked question. Before anyone could say anything, she spoke again.
“No, I’m really…”
She trailed off and went completely silent, staring at Pruelle’s unmoving lips.
“Miss Ever?”
“How did you…”
She trailed off again, staring at his face, then glanced at Revlin.
“Wait…”
Revlin’s face suddenly paled. He and Ever seemed to reach the same conclusion.
Ever remembered the ability that had been used on her during the mission between Duke Diarca and the Star of Nagran Sage. She glanced repeatedly between the frozen Pruelle and Revlin.
“…Isn’t this the telepathy ability we used previously? I, right now, I’m certain I can hear Elle’s voice in my mind.”
“Only Elle?”
“…Yes, only Elle.”
“But… Ah! No way, it can’t be?”
Yuder, Revlin, and Pruelle instantly remembered the same event: when, just moments ago, Revlin had input a large amount of Awakener energy into maintaining the telepathy without any involvement on his part. Somehow, it had linked Pruelle and Ever’s minds together.
Pruelle’s face went pale. His lips trembled, until he managed to press them together, as if sealing them shut. He looked as though his world was crumbling in front of his eyes.
There was a beat of silence.
Then, the back of Ever’s neck, exposed due to her high ponytail, slowly turned red.
“Ah? Um, I, I also think of Elle as a dear friend.”
“No, that’s not–!”
Pruelle’s face went crimson. His hands rose, as if preparing to hide his face, but ended up helplessly clenching and unclenching the fabric of his shirt.
Sensing his brother’s distress, the forgotten Nipollen abandoned his favorite pillow and jumped into his brother’s arms.
“I, I…”
“Huh?”
Whatever Pruelle had just thought, it made both him and Ever startle away from each other. For what must be the first time in his noble life, Pruelle van Tain’s expression was a complete mess: eyes wide, an open mouth with trembling lips, and a crimson flush to his entire face, as if sunburned. He hugged the kitten close to his chest like a teddy bear.
Ever’s eyes went wide. Her mouth fell open.
“I…… I’ve never considered…”
“Ah!”
Pruelle let out a distraught cry. Finally, he couldn’t bear it anymore.
“Ex, excuse me!”
With an outcry of a polite goodbye, Pruelle turned on his heel and fled the room. With him, he took a small kitten and any hope of clarification.
“Elle, wait…!”
Left in the dust, Ever had no choice but to look back at the witnesses, baffled.
“…Am I, am I really hearing his thoughts?”
“I… I’m sorry. I used my ability, and…”
Revlin answered positively. The silence stretched, as Ever stared at him without saying a word – perhaps because she could, currently, hear all of Pruelle’s thoughts.
Her face twitched. She opened and closed her mouth, breathed out harshly, then, finally, managed to push out a few words.
“…Excuse me, I have to go.”
Then, she too turned on her heel and fled the room in pursuit of the embarrassed Pruelle.
In the wake of that disaster, Yuder was left with the unfortunate witness, Kanna, and the culprit behind it all, Revlin. The two exchanged cautious glances.
“…I’ll need to beg for Brother Elle’s forgiveness.”
Revlin spoke in a trembling voice. He acted as if he’d just murdered a family of newborn kittens under their owner’s eyes – and the owner being Pruelle van Tain, who had a kitten baby brother, he must be expecting a sentence of life imprisonment.
“He must have accidentally confessed to her…”
Even Kanna seemed at a complete loss for words.
“Confessed?”
“Yes… Since Brother Elle is in love with Sister Ever…”
Yuder hadn’t known that, as he didn’t pay attention to relationships that weren’t his own, but Kanna said it with so much confidence that he trusted her word. As they said, there was a high chance that Pruelle had accidentally confessed to Ever, just then. The more one wants to suppress a thought, the more intently it will appear. Once Pruelle had realized that he shared a telepathic bond with Ever, all he had to think was ‘I absolutely shouldn’t tell Ever that I like her,’ and it would be over for him.
Poor Pruelle.
With his age and experience, Yuder couldn’t exactly empathize. But, he’d witnessed more than one young man lose their ability to function when face-to-face with the risk of their feelings being revealed.
“Should we do something?”
Kanna worried for the sake of her two friends. Yuder shook his head.
“It’s their relationship. Let them try to figure it out on their own first.”
“Yes, you’re right… Poor Elle…”
All the sympathy went to Pruelle, who had fled with a red face. Even Yuder thought that the young prince Pruelle van Tain had more of a maiden’s heart than Deputy Commander Ever Beck.
But he had faith in them. Even if their relationship didn’t work out, they would be able to stay friends, or at least coworkers.
“Wait! I, I just realized something!”
Revlin, who had fallen silent due to the shock of what he’d caused, suddenly let out a cry.
“When I pushed all my energy into my telepathy earlier – the event that caused the, the telepathy problem between Brother Elle and Lady Beck… The energy I pushed was targeted at all three of us. By that, I mean Brother Elle, myself, and…”
He didn’t dare call the final name.
“And me?”
Yuder finished the sentenced for him. Revlin nodded hesitantly, visibly expecting a scolding.
But it would never come. Yuder had already fallen into deep thought.
The ability had linked Ever and Pruelle. Earlier, Yuder had felt a strong sense of surprise and confusion. Even now, he felt it, growing stronger with each thought.
An improbable conclusion appeared in his mind.
He thought,
‘Commander, can you hear me?’
A distinctive feeling of amusement and fondness filled his body.
He thought again…
‘My apologies for the bother, Commander.’
…but received only the phantom of a laugh in return. These were Kishiar’s feelings, which he could feel thanks to the soul bond between them.
His suspicions had been confirmed. Yuder raised his head and spoke to Kanna and Revlin, who had been discussing the plausible reasons behind Ever and Pruelle’s unfortunate telepathy link.
“It seems you linked us with the person we think about most often.”
“Huh?”
“…But then, wouldn’t Brother Elle have been linked with Nippy?”
“Maybe because Nipollen currently isn’t a person, but a cat.”
“It’s true that Brother Elle often talks about Lady Beck…”
“So it links two humans together…”
“But then, Yuder, who are you…”
Kanna and Revlin stopped talking as one.
“Ahem, Prince Revlin, do you think you’re linked to Dandenion, then?”
With a cough, Kanna hastily changed the subject.
“Yes, that seems likely.”
With an equally flustered expression, Revlin followed her lead.
“The ability should stop once the energy I input into the bond runs out. I estimate it to take at least ten hours, and no more than twenty. I… I sincerely apologize for the bother, Sir Ail. And. That is, please pass on my apologies to the Commander as well.”
Revlin’s face went a little red, but he braved on and confirmed that he knew the truth. Yuder only nodded, which made Revlin sigh in relief.
After that, Revlin left to check on his lover, Dandenion, while Kanna promised to check on Ever and Pruelle’s situation. As for Yuder, he remained pragmatic, and continued on with his planned schedule.
As someone who already had experience with a constant telepathic bond with his lover, the fact that Kishiar could hear his every thought didn’t bother him too much. Instead, he felt a little pleased at the formation of another bond between them.
The mirrored sentiment reassured him that Kishiar felt similarly.
In the evening, once he’d finished his tasks for the day, Yuder found another use for the involuntary telepathic bond.
‘Commander, I’m coming over. Is that fine?’
He warned in advance that he would be coming to Kishiar’s office. Since he didn’t receive any negative feelings in return, he assumed that it was fine.
As expected, Kishiar was waiting for him, sitting on the couch with his head already turned. His eyes crinkled when their gazes met.
“You’re here.”
Kishiar la Orr greeted him with a smile. He was resplendent with a happiness that had been cultivated over the course of the day. Dazzled, it took a moment for Yuder’s body to step into the room.
“I never realized how pleasant it would be to carry a beloved and loving voice within me. Should I send a gratitude gift to Prince Revlin?”
Kishiar showed the attitude of someone who had already spent hours exchanging delicate words with their lover. In an exceptionally good mood, he invited Yuder to sit next to him. He seemed to have decided to spoil Yuder in affection.
Hearing his thought, Kishiar laughed and agreed.
“Of course. I want to reward my adorable assistant for keeping me company all day long.”
Yuder hadn’t done anything special. But, he wouldn’t refuse Kishiar’s affection. Instead, he leaned into the first kiss, feeling Kishiar’s smile against his lips.
Some sweet wine, a pleasant atmosphere, the warmth of a magic stone stove, and Kishiar’s affectionate gaze and loving touches. Being with him, Yuder felt an overwhelming sentiment of warmth and longing.
Illuminated by the rainbow light of the magic stone stove, Kishiar’s face seemed to stay as an afterimage in Yuder’s eyes, no matter where he turned his head. But perhaps, that illusion was caused by his secret wish to forever burn that image into his retinas.
How many times had he wished to immortalize Kishiar la Orr within his very being? How many times had he succeeded? From the Kishiar la Orr of a past life, who had remained hidden within his soul for over a decade, to the man he’d met anew a year ago. So many versions and facets of Kishiar la Orr; if only he could forever safe-keep each one within the depths of his body.
Without realizing it, Yuder’s thoughts became wistful and appreciative.
Really, it was all because Kishiar had been born with that face. Yuder ended up blaming his lover’s overwhelming beauty.
Hearing all this, Kishiar’s eyes gradually widened. But after a moment of surprise, he showed an expression of happiness.
“I’ve often been praised, but this is the first time I feel so pleased about it.”
Kishiar la Orr, once second prince and now Peletta Duke, must have been used to praise. However, Yuder knew how different it felt for one’s appearance to be complimented by your lover. How many times had he been propositioned in his past life? It had never felt the way Kishiar’s words did – even comparing them was an insult to Kishiar.
But, it was a surprise to see Kishiar so startled by a few compliments.
Kishiar la Orr, currently younger than him in mind if not body, might actually be experiencing one of his first loves. Was he still inexperienced when it came to receiving a lover’s sincere compliments?
“Oh my.”
Kishiar made a surprised noise. His eyes blinked once, twice, until he managed to regain his composure.
“As my senior in romantic affairs, I’ll of course follow your lead.”
“With Duke Peletta’s reputation, one would expect the opposite.”
He remembered an instance of Kishiar wearing the scent of a feminine perfume. At the time, he had been fooled by the reputation of a careless charmer, and had sincerely thought that Kishiar regularly met with his paramours.
Of course, he knew better now.
Kishiar laughed.
“What paramour? My first love is right here.”
Saying so, he tenderly caressed Yuder’s cheek with his thumb.
It was the same for Yuder.
Kishiar was the first and only person he’d ever been in a relationship with.
The thumb on his cheek paused, then lifted off, as if fleeing.
Yuder had expected an outcry of happiness and teasing at the revelation of his own romantic experience, but surprisingly, Kishiar seemed to have turned a little cold. The odd reaction might have stumped him a while ago, but now, Yuder could easily guess which route Kishiar’s thoughts had turned.
This young man, experiencing his first love…
…felt jealousy at the other version of himself, who had experienced all of Yuder’s firsts.
“Ah…”
Having been read through so thoroughly, Kishiar flustered for a response.
As if to avoid answering, he took a sip of his drink. Yuder’s eyes went to his lips, wine-stained into an alluring crimson.
“Haha…”
Kishiar laughed breathlessly. He smiled as if he couldn’t help it.
“I really am hopeless when it comes to you.”
Despite saying these defeated words, Kishiar didn’t seem displeased with that conclusion at all. Instead, he beckoned Yuder closer, gently touching his cheek. That handsome face, blinding with its beauty, gradually approached Yuder.
“May I kiss you? Will you permit this to the current me, inexperienced and lacking?”
The magic stone furnace’s colored fire reflected into Kishiar’s eyes, painting a mesmerizing rainbow of colors. The dimmed light of the fire softened the lines of his face, rendering him similar to a marble statue.
With a simple touch to his cheek, Kishiar conveyed a sentiment of tenderness
This was something he had been experiencing for over a year now, and yet, it always took him by surprise. After a decade of solitude, he felt… cared for.
To someone like him, who had grown up alone on a mountain, who had experienced a brief yet painful love, and who had spent a decade loathed by all, the touch of someone’s hand on his face felt like the burning of an iron brand. No, even the burning of a brand, which he had experienced before his death, did not feel like this.
As if his soul – the essence of his being – had been cut open, stretched and pinned in all directions, and Kishiar’s hand had reached inside the core and embraced the damaged heart within.
Painful.
Undeniably, it was painful – almost torture.
The hand on his cheek flinched. Yuder laid his own hand overtop Kishiar’s, keeping him there.
Yuder welcomed the hurt, and the fear. He had always been fearless, and that wouldn’t change in the face of Kishiar’s affection. Instead, he grew bolder by the day.
The pain was born out of disuse. Nerves he hadn’t used in a decade, muscles he had to tear to build anew; and a mind that slowly, slowly, accepted the feelings he had denied for an eternity. It had taken him eleven years to acknowledge this, but, finally, he couldn’t deny it anymore.
He wanted Kishiar’s affection.
And not just that. Everything that came with it; the pain, the fear, the despair, the beauty and the longing; everything.
In front of his eyes, Kishiar had frozen in place, wide-eyed and listening intently. His playful intentions had been completely cut by the sincerity of Yuder’s feelings.
Yuder thought impatiently,
‘Won’t you kiss me?’
The wide-open eyes, reflecting Yuder’s face in a lovely rose red, trembled with emotion.
“…Ha. Haha…”
After a long time, Kishiar laughed breathlessly.
“I really…”
He couldn’t find the words.
Instead, he leaned in, and finally kissed him. How else could he convey his feelings? Having been assaulted by the intensity of Yuder Ail’s love for him, Kishiar had been rendered speechless.
When they parted, Kishiar was the one left breathless. Compared to Yuder, who seemed unaffected, his face showed some degree of flushing.
“Is my lovely assistant always so… focused? Hearing you, I can’t help but remember my first time secretly peeking at adult books.”
Yuder generally kept his mind sharp, as he had been trained to do. But his mind behaved differently whenever he thought of Kishiar – in ways he was still discovering.
Right now, looking at the expression on Kishiar’s face, his mind demanded something he’d never once considered before.
A charmed yet plaintive expression. That was what Kishiar was showing him.
And if his facial expressions and hesitant hands weren’t enough, the bond between them continued to inform him of Kishiar’s feelings. The tickling feeling of pleased embarrassment continually trickled into his body.
Kishiar’s eyes widened.
“It’s still active?”
Of course, Kishiar couldn’t have noticed it. Yuder hid that fact from his own thoughts, having been trained to keep even his thoughts controlled in case he encountered an enemy with a mental ability. Any instance of Kishiar feeling Yuder’s responding feelings could have been blamed as an aftereffect of the one-sided telepathy. As a result, Yuder had secretly been carefully coaxing Kishiar into this reaction, checking his feelings with each thought and praise.
“As expected of Yuder. What an excellent strategy to destabilize and neutralize me.”
Kishiar easily accepted defeat.
Amused, Yuder’s face relaxed into something that could almost be a smile. Enamored, Kishiar looked at him for a long time, regaining the courage to caress Yuder’s cheek.
In answer, Yuder straddled his lap, and went on the offensive. He boldly went in for a kiss, first aggressive, then slowly becoming gentler. Kishiar accepted it all graciously, linking his hands around Yuder’s waist.
Everything Yuder did today was the result of Kishiar la Orr’s actions. The tender words, the gentle touches, even the bold embrace; his one and only teacher was Kishiar la Orr.
And he wasn’t only talking about the man he’d known in his previous life.
Who had taught him that such things could be so pleasant? If there was only one person, then there was also only one version.
The Kishiar la Orr from his past life had taught him many things — lessons he would forever carry within his heart, that he carried beyond death and rebirth —, but it was unfair to say the current Kishiar la Orr hadn’t given him any new experience. The certainty of having his feelings returned, the security of having someone who wouldn’t leave, and even…
The fondness of having an inexperienced lover.
Kishiar laughed against his lips. Yuder also felt his own eyes curl slightly.
There was no need for Kishiar to feel jealous. Yuder wished he could focus on the present moment instead – and enjoy having a lover with more experience.
Laughing too much, Kishiar had to lean away from their kiss. His face was flushed in happiness and repressed laughter.
“You’re saying, instead of feeling frustration for not giving you what you rightfully deserve… I should happily receive?”
“Yes.”
Yuder answered with a decisive nod.
‘Although…’
He laid his hands on Kishiar’s shoulders, leaning back into the hands laced behind his back. His eyes gazed up and down Kishiar’s body and face, which he found perfect as always – at the thought, Kishiar’s expression twitched.
‘Has he always been so sensitive?’
Yuder was surprised but pleased to find out Kishiar was so affected by such simple praise about his appearance. If he was this happy to receive praise about his appearance, which he must have heard a thousand time before, how would he react to praise about his character?
“My… character?”
Kishiar’s brows furrowed slightly. After a moment, his eyes widened, as if struck. His lips moved silently for a moment.
Then,
“Why doesn’t my assistant give me an example?”
He showed a rare yet precious expression of shy demand.
With the memory of the Kishiar la Orr that he used to know on his mind, it always amazed him to see the current Kishiar show any amount of vulnerability to him. But it was something he appreciated greatly, and always wished to see more of.
Kishiar trusted him enough to show his heart; to show vulnerable expressions, both in face and words.
And Yuder wanted more.
…Didn’t he have the perfect ability, right now? A plan started to form in his mind.
“Oh?”
Kishiar seemed to sense incoming danger.
As Commander of the Cavalry, Yuder had naturally learned many techniques to improve his troops. One of those techniques was simple: reinforcing good behavior with rewards. Who would have thought he’d use this technique now, recompensing Kishiar’s honesty with praise and physical affection? But he wasn’t displeased with this development.
In fact, he found that he liked this obedient and shy expression.
Kishiar’s eyes widened.
“Haha, so this is to my assistant’s taste?”
He sounded a little bewildered, but also excited.
It seemed that way.
Or perhaps, because Kishiar was involved, and it consisted of making Kishiar happy, it became suited to his taste.
Kishiar’s mouth moved soundlessly.
“You… Amazing, I didn’t think I had a chance in the first place, but now I’m sure. I’ll never win against you.”
“Was there a contest?”
“A contest of seduction… No, I was definitely the first one to be seduced.”
Yuder remembered the Kishiar of about a year ago, during the Red Stone retrieval mission, who’d met him for the first time only three months prior. Already, that Kishiar had started shamelessly propositioning Yuder, inviting him for a night of fun. Now knowing Kishiar’s maiden soul, he doubted Kishiar’s proposition had been sincere.
“No, I really wanted it.”
“That’s surprising.”
Kishiar laughed at his answer.
“Are you surprised to learn how desperate I was?”
Yuder had already been aware Kishiar had shown interest in him first, but he hadn’t realized it had started so early. He wondered how things would have gone if he’d accepted Kishiar’s propositions sooner.
But most of all, he felt pleased that Kishiar hadn’t given up, even in the face of Yuder’s cold rebuttals.
At the thought, Yuder’s body filled with heat.
He wanted to show his gratefulness — and not just with words.
The hands he’d kept on Kishiar’s shoulders until now finally moved. His fingers hesitated on the button of his collar for an instant, then braved the leap of faith. Kishiar indulgently let him undo the first button of his shirt, pushing the fabric off until his neck and collarbones were completely bare.
“Well?”
Kishiar gently teased him, as if saying ‘do you like what you see?’
Of course, Yuder liked it very much.
And to prove it, he leaned it, and gently licked at the unmarked skin. Kishiar laughed briefly, then bit back a pleased exhale.
Yuder’s tongue moved slowly against the skin of Kishiar’s neck, collecting the salty tang of human sweat. The taste that might have felt unpleasant instead filled Yuder with a sensation of pleasure. The man who always controlled his expression and body couldn’t keep his body from sweating. He was happy to influence Kishiar’s body with only a few light touches.
Human skin, soft at birth, naturally became rougher as life went on. But Kishiar, who had lived a noble’s sheltered life, was blessed with heavenly genes, and took great care of his appearance, had managed to keep his skin soft and pleasant to the touch, even at the age of 29.
By comparison, Yuder wondered how his fingers, roughened with the life of a commoner, felt to Kishiar.
In answer, Kishiar let out a shuddering breath.
“I like it.”
With simple words, he described his feelings.
“I like everything Yuder gives me.”
Everything?
“Anything you’re willing to give me.”
Yuder’s thoughts briefly turned to the first man he’d killed, but the atmosphere was good enough that the memory didn’t linger.
What he was willing to give to Kishiar — even he wasn’t sure. He remembered Kishiar lightheartedly promising to help him take over the world if he so asked, and knew without words that he would do the same if Kishiar wished for it.
He wanted their lives, and deaths, to become intertwined.
“Ah…”
Kishiar’s chest stuttered, accidentally bumping into Yuder’s, as if he’d been struck by a blow.
“…Amazing. Really amazing.”
After a moment of stunned silence, he laughed in a low voice and started praising Yuder.
“Don’t tell me, this is what fills your mind on a daily basis?”
Yuder thought for a moment. He didn’t feel like today’s thoughts were particularly different from the usual.
“That… How lucky I am that our minds are not always linked. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to do anything.”
“It would indeed be a problem.”
Yuder agreed. If he could hear Kishiar’s voice at all times, he would be too distracted.
Kishiar’s chest moved under his hand. A fast-paced heartbeat tickled at the center of Yuder’s palm. Kishiar’s left hand started lifting.
“Don’t move.”
“Oh? Am I not allowed to touch?”
“You seem to be enjoying this.”
“I can’t deny that.”
Kishiar lowered his hands, lacing them back around Yuder’s waist. Since he neither pushed nor pulled him, Yuder allowed it.
“No one would dislike being praised and comforted by a beloved partner. Rather, I feel that I am being blessed.”
That wasn’t exactly what Yuder intended.
“Hm? What do you want, then?”
Kishiar was surprised at what sounded like a rejection. But he didn’t have the time to speculate.
Yuder leaned in closer, making the rest of Kishiar’s vision disappear. A hand roughened with hard work held his jaw with a gentle touch, tilting it up, fingertips trailing on the defenseless skin of his throat.
This was the hand that had once mercilessly stabbed him to death. Yet, in this lifetime, that same hand held his cheek with a tender love that could not be explained, only experienced.
Dark eyes stared back, reflecting Kishiar’s own face. If only he could exist solely in the gaze of those who loved him.
But instead, he had to feel satisfied with the gentle press of Yuder’s lips on his own, and the tickle of eyelashes brushing against his cheeks. He closed his eyes to feel, as strongly as possible, the breaths that Yuder exhaled against his skin.
Then, finally, Yuder answered the question he’d already forgotten.
In his lover’s voice, simple and straightforward words filled his mind.
‘I want to see you cry.’
“…Huh?”
Kishiar’s mouth moved. He opened his eyes wide.
“What… did you say?”
In front of his incredulous eyes, Yuder Ail, who had smiled at most ten times in the year they’d known each other, showed a subtle expression of mischievous happiness.
A minute tremble shook Kishiar’s lower back.
Had he… accidentally revealed a fatal weakness?