Chapter Text
Travel has never been easy for Cloud, and it’s rather unfortunate that he didn’t know the extent of his motion sickness until after he left for Midgar. Papers already sent and officially enlisted in Shinra’s military, there was no turning back.
Not that he would even have entertained the idea of not enlisting, his dream of becoming SOLDIER was and still is bigger than any possible discomfort or nausea.
Those dreams have been all but squashed by now. He failed the SOLDIER test. Got disqualified from even trying again for an entire year. They told him it was something about poor mako resistance levels, or a sensitivity to mako, something like that. The scientists told him it’s possible he’ll grow a tolerance as he gets older, which is why they’re requiring him to wait a year to apply again. He doesn’t understand any of the science mumbo jumbo, though, all he could hear was “too weak” and “now you’ll never be good enough”.
He’s stuck in Shinra, too, now. He was too embarrassed to turn back and return to Nibelheim after failing so spectacularly and so quickly. So, he joined the infantry hoping he could work his way up the ladder. He can apply for SOLDIER again, and even if he doesn’t make it in, he can possibly be something like a captain. Not quite the prestige of SOLDIER, but better than a nameless, nobody grunt.
Today Cloud is on assignment in Junon. Sent in on a rescue mission. His job is to secure any civilians while a SOLDIER operative and the turks handle the securing of the target. They always get the fun jobs while security is stuck with boring stuff like search and rescue or, well, security detail.
At this exact moment, Cloud is bracing against the wall of the tunnel leading from the Junon airport. He’s just descended the elevator leading them from the helipad and he’s recovering from the helicopter ride here. One hand planted on the wall, the other covering his eyes with his head hanging towards the ground, Cloud is not having a good time.
Motion sickness wrecks his stomach and head, his temples are pounding and his stomach is roiling. He’s trying to remind himself to take deep breaths, deep breaths, Cloud, deep breaths. One two three, in, four five six, out. Just like his mother taught him.
Eventually, the world stops tilting to funny angles and spinning around him, but even the thought of actually moving still makes him feel like he’s going to hurl.
He can hear what’s going on around him, and focusing on anything but how sick he feels is helping. That’s how he notices when the SOLDIER operative walks into the tunnel. The SOLDIER starts conversing with the turks, confirming the mission and planning their next move. The planning is obviously mostly done by the turks, they’re more than used to planning, SOLDIER are just here for muscle.
The SOLDIER’s voice is frighteningly familiar. If Cloud wasn’t so focused on not throwing up he might take a moment to think about why that is. Figure out which SOLDIER was sent in. Despite not being in SOLDIER himself, Cloud knows a couple of them. He’s worked with several third classes and a handful of seconds, and would probably be able to pick a few of them out of a lineup.
Maybe they did send a second, this seems like the type of mission for them to do that on. A few thirds are already in the tunnel, too, sent to help with search and rescue. It probably wouldn’t make sense to have a separate third for dealing with the target, so a second class is most likely. There’s no way they sent a first, there are only two of those left, Sephiroth and—
“Hey buddy, are you okay?” it’s the SOLDIER operative, and oh god they actually sent him. They didn’t send a few thirds or some random second.
Cloud looks up and sees a face he’s been trying hard not to think about the last few months. Black spiked back hair, tan skin, violet eyes, chiseled jaw, and oh gods he needs to answer the question, “‘M fine.”
Just Cloud’s luck that they wouldn't send any random second. Wouldn’t send some guy Cloud’s never met. No, of course they had to send in SOLDIER First Class Zack Fair. Cloud hadn’t even seen him around the tower in ages, he’d assumed he was safe, he thought he wouldn’t have to think about Zack’s perfectly boyish smile or the captivating scar on his jaw or the way he treats Cloud like he can actually amount to anything.
They haven’t even spoken since that mission in Modeoheim, not an actual conversation, that is.
Zack gave a speech to a bunch of cadets and slapped him on the shoulder like the whole speech was meant for him specifically. And he’s spoken to Cloud in the halls, sort of, just simple smiles and passing words, small encouragements like, “Keep your chin up!” Things he probably tells any cadet he happens to run into.
It seems Zack Fair’s mandatory vacation has ended, and with it ended Cloud’s luck. His first mission back just so happens to be the one Cloud’s been sent on. Now he has to stick through an entire conversation with First Class Zack while pretending he’s not about to toss up his breakfast.
Cloud’s, quite obviously, had a horrifically embarrassing crush on Zack since they met. Despite them having only had one full conversation, Cloud feels nauseous in an entirely different way any time he’s around Zack. Something completely different from his motion sickness.
It’s just that Zack’s so… charismatic. So everything Cloud’s ever wanted to be. He’s more than what Cloud’s ever wanted, honestly. Maybe Cloud’s just got pathetically low standards, because something about Zack seeing Cloud as more than an absolute failure has him wanting to grab him by the neck and smash their faces together.
So, Cloud has the planet’s most humiliating crush on a guy who doesn’t even really know he exists. The extent of their relationship being Cloud sneaking glances at Zack whenever he’s on guard duty in the Shinra building and Zack happens to wander into the area.
Zack looks at him, concern plain on his face, brows drawn in and corners of his lips downturned the slightest bit. Then his face breaks into a wide smile, brows shooting up, and he steps back, “Cloud! Is that you?”
He was absolutely sure just seconds ago that Zack had forgotten he’d even existed after their one mission together. He wouldn’t blame Zack for it either, a lot happened that day and Cloud is, honestly, entirely forgettable. Just another infantryman out of the dozens Zack’s been on missions with. Cloud’s own brows shoot up now, “You remember me?”
Zack laughs and claps Cloud on the back, it’s friendly but Zack must not realize just how strong SOLDIERs are, or how weak Cloud is, he has to brace harder against the wall to prevent himself from falling forward, “Of course I remember! Wow, I’m glad to be working with you again!”
“Yeah, me too,” Cloud agrees, “Though, my work is a little dull.”
“Hey!” Zack shouts, the increase in volume almost enough to make Cloud jump, “Don’t say that! Rescue work is just as important as the work I do!” Zack steps back, he must not have really looked at him earlier, over-excited about the mission and concerned for Cloud’s well-being. Zack finally looks at Cloud, takes in the sight of him, and then speaks again, “How about, after this, you and me go out and get something to eat? While we’re both here in Junon, my treat!”
Lunch with a first? With the guy Cloud’s been daydreaming about for months? He must be dreaming or hallucinating now . His luck has never been anything more than awful before. Is this something Zack does a lot? Invite random infantrymen to lunch, is it just a friendly hang out? Could it possibly be a bit more than that? He has no idea. The train of thought is making his head spin and stomach lurch.
Or maybe that’s just the lingering motion sickness.
Cloud smiles weakly, “That sounds really nice, Zack, but,” the contents of Cloud’s stomach make themselves known to him again at this exact moment. Bile tickles the back of his throat, he groans weakly, “I don’t know if I can even think about food right now.”
Zack winces then smiles sympathetically, offering Cloud a gentle pat on the back, “Of course, whenever you’re feeling better, after I capture Holla— the target, alright?”
“Yeah, that sounds good,” Cloud agrees, then sighs, “Must be nice to be SOLDIER.”
“It is pretty great,” Zack winks, “You wanna be SOLDIER?”
Cloud’s lips pull into a flat, jealous line, “More than anything. I wish I could be more like you.”
“Like me?” Zack cocks his head to the side.
“Yeah, you’re so… strong, and confident,” Cloud shakes his head, “and you’re—” kind, and attractive, and probably the only person besides my mom who’s ever thought I was more than an abject failure, “a SOLDIER.”
Zack smiles, teeth crooked in a way Cloud thinks is just perfect on display and eyes wrinkling on the sides, he’s sure to have crow’s feet by the time he’s 30, “You’ll be one, too, one day! Just gotta keep up the hard work, focus on your dreams!”
Cloud nods, his nausea all but gone now. He stands up off the wall, he feels well enough for lunch now. He prepares to tell Zack this, say something along the lines of hey I feel better now, so how about that date later? Something bold and utterly un-Cloud-like.
He opens his mouth to say it, then shuts it again, coward.
Zack was probably just being friendly. Or maybe he wasn’t, there’s only one way to know. Cloud takes a deep breath and opens his mouth again, desperate to say anything, he gets out a simple “Hey,” before he’s interrupted. The black-haired turk, the one who had been on the mission with them in Modeoheim, cuts him off. Tells Zack to get a move on, that he doesn’t have all day.
Zack walks backward away from Cloud and shoots him a charming smile before he runs off in the direction of the airport. Cloud feels himself deflate but tries not to let it get to him. He’s sure he and Zack will have another chance to talk, another chance for Cloud to tell Zack about his own dreams and what SOLDIER means to him. Maybe another chance to ask if that really was an invite to a date or just a friendly hangout.