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"Tetsuya."
It wasn't as though as they liked each other to the moon and back, but Kuroko was baffled. In his first year, he never thought that he'd be caught and somehow, his teammates missed the sight of those lines. In his second year, he stood out, sure, and the new first years admired him excessively, but this scenario seemed so far away. It wouldn't even be possible in his third year because Hanamiya would already be in some top university or college studying whatever the hell he wanted and probably disregarding basketball.
Their friendship was sudden. Kuroko didn't quite like Hanamiya, especially due to what happened to Kiyoshi, but it turned out that they could piece each other together nicely. At the end of his first year, Kuroko found himself at one of the dirty courts, reminiscing about everything that lead him to that point. Hanamiya suddenly appeared with Kirisaki following behind, evidently shocked to see blur of blue that he was about to dismiss, and they argued — argued about values and morals before settling down with the help of the other Kirisaki regulars.
Their relationship didn't have to be positive, but they were still able to get along outside of basketball. That relationship reminded Kuroko of Murasakibara, but Hanamiya was 'worse' than the tall center off the court. Hanamiya said that their developing relationship could exist because 'birds of a feather flock together'. Kuroko only shrugged at the motto since that meeting could have been a 'once in a lifetime encounter' (he'd been trying to tell himself that for the next few coincidental meetups)...But it wasn't their last encounter at all.
"Hey," Hanamiya would say when he finally caught sight of Kuroko in the corner of the local library. Kuroko would nod back and they'd sit closely to read.
"Hanamiya-senpai, have you seen Niigo?" Kuroko would ask and Hanamiya would hand over the furry ball of joy hurriedly, hands coated with saliva. The dog started to treat Hanamiya like some sort of uncle who came back from years in a foreign country with souvenirs.
"Tetsuya," Hanamiya would say loudly, finally given permission to use that name despite having used it for a long time. Though, it was the first time he had ever said it at such a volume.
"Hanamiya-kun," Kuroko would change the honorific, but it was enough for the older until the phantom could say his first name.
And it happened. Right there. In a sad pathetic bathroom that belonged to sad and pathetic Kuroko, whose arms were crying with agony. He was so surprised that he didn't even notice how he called out, "Makoto-san..."
Well, Kuroko had ways to go before he could confidently and consciously say it. He was still including an honorific too.
"Tetsuya," Hanamiya tutted; he was not mocking the younger, but he did when he turned the tap on and flicked drops of water on the open cuts with perfect precision. Kuroko didn't have the heart to jump back.
'Goodness,' he thought with suspicion swirling in his eyes, 'was this why the brat didn't smile for shit in those old recordings?'
He slowly approached with a sigh and the closer he got, the more the phantom trembled and shook. When he kneeled, the blade that Kuroko forgot was in his hand clanked on the tiled floor. One empty look was enough to command.
"You– I–... The cabinets," Kuroko bit his lip, reluctantly fighting every instinct in him to grab the blade and finish himself off.
"Sure," Hanamiya scooted over and rummaged through the cabinets for any first-aid and cleaning supplies. He took out some gauze, already running out, from one of the corners that showed more signs of usage (from the lack of dust) than the others along with some saline and cotton pads, "You need a restock."
Now the day was starting to become a bit more normal, if it ever could at this point. The two players would remind each other of anything they needed. Kuroko could only nod in thanks, shaking with a whimper, taking deep breaths to snap back into reality completely.
Slowly, Hanamiya took the cotton pads, poured some saline on them and began to clean the wounds. He was slow. Too slow and it was agonizing. Kuroko didn't know if Hanamiya was trying to make him suffer more or distract him because it felt like both. The pain shook him to his core, yet it distracted him from those thoughts of terror. Perhaps Hanamiya could be both kind and cruel.
Before he knew it, there were thick layers of gauze wrapped on scarred arms. Ah. The gauze really did run out. Blood was already seeping through the layers, staining ivory with roses. Hanamiya took the blade from the floor, long foregone, and spun it around.
"Hanamiya-kun," Kuroko finally uttered, but his voice died when Hanamiya took the knife in a tight grasp and made a cut on his wrist. Questions about the situation rotted in his throat and mold was already forming.
"See? It's this easy," the third-year licked the already present blood off of his wrist and more was flowing, "I can see why you do it."
After those words, the blade was carelessly thrown away into the sink with perfect precision.
"Why...?" the younger asked. That single word began many questions. Why did Hanamiya cut himself? Why was Hanamiya even here? Why did Hanamiya do all that medical work so professionally yet so cruelly? Alright, perhaps it was only cruel to himself, but would someone like him be assisted by Hanamiya? So many questions that couldn't be omitted.
"First, I was waiting at the library; you weren't there and you weren't at our court," Hanamiya began listing down answers to Kuroko's unsaid questions, "That's why I came over. I don't have any reason to help you and that stands so be grateful I'm doing so. Also, it was my first time bandaging and cleaning any sort of wound that didn't belong to myself and trust me — I don't get injured, so no, I'm not a professional and it doesn't matter that I answered a question you never had in that thick skull of yours. I don't fucking care or know if I did anything that wasn't what you would do, okay, Tetsuya?"
"Language," Kuroko huffed with a weak smile, but he was still wondering about that cut Hanamiya made.
"Hm? This?" Hanamiya uses his thumb to wipe the blood, "I just wanted to experiment. I don't get cut often so I wanted to try it out. Besides, one cut on mine doesn't compare to the loads you have on yours. Sheesh, when I said I like to see others suffer, especially 'goody-goodies' like you, I didn't mean it like this, Tetsuya."
It seemed like a joke from the older, but the way his eyes were slightly darker than usual and the way his face held a sheen of sweat told a different story. It prompted and forced Kuroko to blurt out an apology.
"I'm sorry," Kuroko whispered before skin wiped itself on his tongue. He instantly withdrew and saw Hanamiya's previously bloodstained thumb clean. He honestly wanted to gag at the action but he was reminded of how many times he had to lick his own blood clean in a rush; especially when the Miracles nearly found out after... That match. He's tried to tell himself that he's healed. That he's fine. But it isn't working and that's what lead him to today.
"Come on, Tetsuya," Hanamiya stood, offering a hand that Kuroko gladly accepted, "Care to explain your situation?"
"... I'd rather not."
"Eh. That's fine by me. Keep quiet."
After those words, the third-year carefully dragged his junior out into town, uncaring of what the other wanted. Kuroko didn't mind. They communicated better without words. Soon, the two found themselves at the library and they slipped in easily, saying their greetings to the old librarian, who as usual, didn't notice Kuroko until his eyes bored into hers. The two players found themselves in the corner again. They sat in silence for what seemed like hours until Hanamiya grabbed a random novel from one of the shelves. Usually, Kuroko himself would get one too, but it wasn't a usual day. Not at all.
"You're not getting anything, right?" the third-year asked, flipping the book open. Kuroko shook his head, eyes on the ground. Hanamiya narrowed his eyes, but it wasn't with any malicious intent, "Want me to read to you?"
"You're offering?"
"Yes, Tetsuya."
"I appreciate that, Hanamiya-kun."
"Come on, say my name."
"I just said it."
"My. Name. Tetsuya — Your name's Tetsuya, and mine?"
Kuroko sadly smiled, "Makoto-san."
Hanamiya happily frowned, "That's fucking right."