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Coming home was something that had been on Seokjin’s mind non stop since the moment he left. Coming home and crawling into bed and into the arms of his boyfriend. He wasn’t exactly one to be the most sappy either- he didn’t like being vulnerable even with someone like his boyfriend. There wasn’t any real reason behind it, it just made him uncomfortable to open up. If he did, he added a joke at the end to lighten up the mood. He hated when he was the reason others weren’t happy. And Jungkook… He wanted Jungkook to be happy all of the time.
Jungkook always knew when Seokjin wasn’t at his best either, he knew when Seokjin had something on his mind and did not want to be vulnerable. Instead of asking him to open up, Jungkook would embrace him and rest his head against Seokjin’s shoulder. He would press soft kisses to his face and tell him he loves him. He knew that Seokjin would open up if he really wanted to.
Seokjin missed that. He missed Jungkook’s touch and the feeling of Jungkook’s lips on his skin. He missed him so much that it hurt. His stomach would be in knots if he thought too hard about it and tears would sometimes threaten to fall.
It wasn’t that serious, Seokjin would tell himself. When he and Jungkook started dating, they both knew that there would be months that they would have to spend apart. They knew that Seokjin being who he was meant that they would have to miss each other sometimes, that the only way they would be able to see each other would be quick facetime calls where they said ‘I love you’ and then ‘Goodbye’.
They knew that, and yet it always hurt so bad to be apart from each other.
Jungkook had a fan account that he kept up with Seokjin on and Seokjin had a secret private account that he only followed Jungkook from. It was their weird way of keeping up with each other when Seokjin was away. It made Seokjin feel extra loved to go online in the times he could spare a moment and would see Jungkook gushing about how much he loves Seokjin. He would scroll through Jungkook’s tweets at the end of the night, curled up in a hotel room in some random country, and he would let the warmth and comfort that came with Jungkook’s silly tweets wash over him and embrace him in a way that Jungkook was not able to physically.
Seokjin would spend time replying to Jungkook there, joking around on the tweets, knowing that Jungkook would see them once he woke up in the morning. Although their time zones did not quite line up, they were still able to communicate in some way. It might not have been the most conventional way of being in a relationship, but it was Seokjin and Jungkook’s way.
Seokjin’s fans did not know about his relationship. It wasn’t so much that he wasn’t able to tell them, but it was more that he still wanted to keep Jungkook to himself. Jungkook had a very normal life as a university student in his final year. He had normal friends and family, and Seokjin always worried that he would be the reason for Jungkook’s life to suddenly not be normal. Seokjin thought that Jungkook deserved the normalcy that he had given up, because sometimes, Seokjin still felt normal when they were together.
It was ironic because they met at a fansign; Seokjin’s group’s fansign. Jungkook was a huge fan even before they started dating. He had gone to multiple concerts and finally got a chance to see Seokjin in person at a fansign.
It was a risk to give Jungkook his number that day, but when Jungkook had come up to him with big eyes filled with all the stars in the universe, Seokjin’s morals flew out the window. Jungkook asked to hold Seokjin’s hand for a moment so that he would be able to remember what it felt like whenever he was sad. Seokjin remembered thinking back then that he hoped he would be able to hold Jungkook’s hand again. He hoped that Jungkook wouldn’t have to just think back on that moment at the fansign because he would always have access to holding onto Seokjin. His hand had been warm and soft and it sent nerves flying all throughout Seokjin. He hadn’t remembered ever feeling that way about anyone else before. If he closed his eyes and thought back on that moment he can almost feel the ghost of Jungkook’s hand on his own. He can remember the faint blush on Jungkook’s cheeks and the way they made eye contact all within those few seconds.
Seokjin had taken the album Jungkook had brought for him to sign with slightly shaky and sweaty hands. He can still remember the way Jungkook’s eyes burned into him, watching him so intently as Seokjin opened up the album and gripped his sharpie tight in his hand. He held the album close to him so that Jungkook wouldn’t have been able to see what he was writing. He opened up to a random page he knew his other members wouldn’t go to and wrote down his number before he could think too hard about any of the consequences. Then he signed his name as he normally would and quickly slammed the album shut causing Jungkook to grimace slightly, probably from his rough treatment of the album.
(“It’s delicate, hyung!” Jungkook had said a few months after the fansign when Seokjin had asked him about that. “That album is a prized possession!”)
Jungkook had taken it back into his hands, curious eyes watching Seokjin as they said their goodbyes. They had been together for maybe a minute, but it had felt like hours to Seokjin. He had never had an experience with a fan like that ever, where he had felt such a strong and emotional connection. He thought that he should regret giving out personal information, a phone number, to a fan. He thought that Namjoon would be mad at him once he found out, but Seokjin didn’t care. He didn’t care because he had looked into Jungkook's beautiful eyes and thought that someone like that could possibly do no wrong.
Seokjin had been quiet on their way back to their dorms that night. It wasn’t unusual for him to be like that. Usually he experienced social burn out very easily after events like a fansign or a concert. His group members knew it too, and there wasn’t much conversation between the four of them in the car rides back home. He kept checking his phone every few minutes, though, and he could tell that Namjoon was starting to feel wary about it.
“Hyung are you alright?” Seokjin remembered Namjoon asking while they were stuck in traffic.
Seokjin knew he should probably tell Namjoon about what he did, that he should feel as though it was a mistake, but he still had no regrets. He probably still wouldn’t have regretted it even if Jungkook went and leaked his number and Seokjin had sasaengs calling him left and right. He thought he probably still wouldn’t have regretted it then.
He just looked over at Namjoon and gave him a small smile. “Just tired.”
Everyone in the car definitely knew he was lying back then. Yoongi had told him so later on once he and Jungkook were together.
(“It was making me anxious that you kept checking your phone.” He had said late one night in their shared room. “You never pay that much attention to your phone unless you’re playing a game.”)
He had crawled in bed that night and turned away from where Yoongi’s bed was so that he was facing the wall. His phone was laying flat next to his bed and Seokjin was wide awake. Yoongi had gone to sleep quickly, he always seemed to. Seokjin could still remember the sound of Yoongi’s steady breathing even though they hadn’t lived together in some time.
Seokjin was about to give up and go to sleep when his phone lit up, illuminating his portion of the room.
Seokjin grabbed it quickly and felt like he was about to explode when he saw it was a text from an unknown number.
The message just read, “Hello?” and nothing else.
Seokjin’s fingers hovered over the keyboard. He wasn’t sure what to type. He wasn’t sure if that was the fan or a sasaeng. He wasn’t even sure if it was a spam text from someone trying to sell him something.
He gasped when he saw the typing bubble show up from the other side meaning that the unknown number was going to send something else.
He waited patiently, staring at the screen, not knowing if he should type anything to indicate he was just sitting there waiting.
Unknown Number: i found this number written in my album
Seokjin bit down on his blanket that was half covering his face. He couldn’t make any noise and risk waking up Yoongi because then he would have to explain what was happening and that would be extremely embarrassing.
Seokjin: hi
He wanted to hit his head against the wall. He had no idea what to do. He knew now that this was the fan from the fansign. He couldn’t risk messing things up.
Unknown Number: the number wasn’t written in there before the fansign. i just thought. maybe. someone specific wrote it in there…
He was trying to discreetly ask if it was Seokjin. He wanted Seokjin to come out and admit that he, an idol, had written his number in a fan’s album.
Namjoon was going to murder him.
(“How pissed would you have been if I told you what was happening immediately.” Seokjin had asked Namjoon months after.
“I don’t want to talk about it. You’re lucky he's cute.”
Namjoon and Jungkook got along extremely well once they had met.)
Seokjin: hi… yeah. this is kim seokjin? we met today at the fansign
The typing bubble popped up and then disappeared. Then it popped up and disappeared again. That happened quite a few times and Seokjin just kept watching it, not sure what was happening on the other side.
(“What were you thinking, when I admitted it was me?” Seokjin asked, curled up against Jungkook’s chest a year after they first met.
“Thinking? I don’t think there was a single thought in my head. Emotionally? I was in the gutter.” Jungkook smiled at Seokjin who laughed at him and then he pressed a kiss to Seokjin’s lips.
Seokjin was so in love with him.)
Unknown Number: uh
Unknown Number: im sorry i
Unknown Number: what
Seokjin knew it was up to him to explain the situation. He was the one who had put his phone number in a fan’s album.
Seokjin: i think you’re really pretty
Seokjin: i probably shouldnt have given u my number. ive never done that before, to anyone… not just a fan
Seokjin: im not looking for a hook up either… i just
Seokjin: you know how you said you wanted to remember what it felt like to hold my hand?
Seokjin: i also want to remember what it feels like to hold yours
Seokjin had asked Jungkook on a date then. Jungkook was still suspicious of Seokjin’s intentions, which he thought was a good thing. He should have absolutely felt weird about his favorite idol giving him his number. It was something that Seokjin admired about Jungkook, too. A lot of fans would have jumped at the opportunity to date their idol, they would do anything for Seokjin. Jungkook instead asked questions. Even on their first date he was suspicious, as if he expected Seokjin to go back on his word about not just wanting a hookup. Instead, they held hands and explored the city. Seokjin was hidden in a disguise, but they still had fun together, anyway. They talked about everything that night and learned all sorts of things about each other. Jungkook, despite being a fan, seemed genuinely interested in learning about Seokjin as a person and Seokjin had never felt so normal in his life. Even with the disguise on, even while holding hands with someone he met at his own fansign… Seokjin felt normal.
Seokjin walked Jungkook home that night and said goodbye, but not before asking if he could kiss him. Jungkook had looked at him the same way he had looked back at the fansign, and Seokjin remembered thinking that his eyes looked beautiful in the light of the stars.
Seokjin had lowered his mask just a little bit and pressed a kiss to Jungkook’s forehead. He hadn’t wanted to say goodbye.
Seokjin and Jungkook continued to text after that and met up a few more times before making it official. They’d talked about what it meant to be in a committed relationship and for Seokjin to be an idol. They talked about what it would mean for them when Seokjin was away on tours or for other schedules. They knew what they were getting into, but they both wanted each other. They couldn’t get enough.
Seokjin eventually told the other members about Jungkook around four months after they started dating. Of course they had noticed Seokjin being away from the dorms more frequently. They’d noticed the way he would smile at his phone or giggle over text messages. They never asked him about it, waiting for him to open up to them. Instead, they’d share fond looks with each other, fond looks that Seokjin never noticed because he would be in his own world. They knew he was seeing someone, and they just wanted their hyung to be happy.
Jungkook came over for dinner to meet the other members and they fell in love with him just as quickly as Seokjin had. Jungkook was extremely shy and nervous to meet them as a fan and more so as Seokjin’s boyfriend. Though, that had just caused Seokjin’s members to be endeared by him. They had a movie night with all of them after dinner and Hoseok had cooed over the way that Seokjin and Jungkook cuddled up together. Yoongi and Namjoon watched on with fond smiles that they hadn’t even bothered to hide. Seokjin and Jungkook had held hands that night, and they never wanted to let go.
They decided to move in together after a year of dating. Jungkook had a day off from work and classes and asked Seokjin if he could spend the day with him at home. Seokjin had no schedules that day, and although he had planned to work on some lyrics at his company, he agreed quickly and brought everything he needed to Jungkook’s apartment.
Jungkook lived with his two closest friends Jimin and Taehyung, but the two of them had classes that day so Seokjin and Jungkook had the apartment to themselves.
When Seokjin showed up, Jungkook was dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt and he still had his bed head. They had been together for a year by then, and they were in love with all forms of each other.
Jungkook knew Seokjin had work to do and let himself cozy up on Seokjin’s lap while they were on Jungkook’s living room couch. Seokjin was going through his emails from the managers and the company while Jungkook was curled up against him. Seokjin felt at home in that moment, especially when he felt Jungkook fall asleep against him, burrowing his face against Seokjin’s neck.
Seokjin felt so overwhelmed with love, and it consumed him entirely. He opened his notes app on his phone and wrote lyrics, words that had never come to him so quickly before in his life. It was so easy when he felt so loved. Something as simple as Jungkook napping on him made him feel a comfort he had never experienced before and he knew that he never wanted to be anywhere else, except for in Jungkook’s arms.
When Jungkook woke up after thirty minutes or so, Seokjin pressed soft kisses against his face and a groggy Jungkook had just smiled dumbly up at him.
“I love you.” Seokjin said. They were words he had said so many times before but never got tired of.
“I love you too.” Jungkook replied as Seokjin held him tighter.
Seokjin then asked if Jungkook wanted to move in together and Jungkook had agreed easily. They had struggled within their relationship by that point with trying to make time for each other between Seokjin’s work and Jungkook’s schooling. The thought of being able to come home to each other sounded perfect.
Two years after they met and a year after they moved in together, Seokjin went on a world tour. The tour was going to last for six months and that was six months that Seokjin was not going to be able to come home to Jungkook.
Jungkook, as a fan, was so happy for Seokjin. He knew how much he loved performing and meeting their fans. He wanted Seokjin to explore the world and give all of his fans a chance to see him in person.
Jungkook, selfishly, hadn’t wanted to let Seokjin go.
Seokjin, of course, gave Jungkook and his friends tickets to the first stop of the tour in Korea. It was bittersweet for them, because Jungkook had so much fun watching Seokjin perform and meeting other fans. But he knew it was also the last time he would be able to see Seokjin until some of his breaks in between shows.
Seokjin offered to fly Jungkook out to see some of his international shows, but Jungkook didn’t think he could swing it with his final year of classes. They had promised to facetime, call, and text as often as they possibly could, but it was still hard when Seokjin had to let go of Jungkook’s hand and say goodbye.
(“Will you remember what my hand feels like when I’m gone?” Seokjin had asked, voice strained and teary.
“I still remember what it felt like the first time I held your hand. I’ll always remember the feeling of your touch.” Jungkook had replied, equally emotional.
Seokjin took the moment to make fun of their sappiness, but then told Jungkook he loved him.
Jungkook said he loved Seokjin, too.)
Seokjin hated being vulnerable, but there were times that he couldn't help it. Saying goodbye to Jungkook was never easy for him and they both knew it. They both wished that Seokjin could fly Jungkook around with him while on the tour. They wished that Jungkook could go to every show and cheer Seokjin on from the crowd. Instead they were confined to quick calls and texts and Jungkook was watching shaky instagram livestreams to get a glimpse of a pixelated Seokjin. He would text Seokjin after every single show, telling him how well he did. Seokjin would find himself going online and looking immediately at Jungkook’s fan account where he would giggle to himself at the numerous tweets Jungkook would make.
Being away from each other could have been worse, but they made it work. They still found ways to show their love for each other and to make each other feel as though home was always close by. Because although Jungkook was still in their shared apartment, it would never be home without Seokjin.
Coming home was something that had been on Seokjin’s mind non stop since the moment he left. Coming home and seeing Jungkook standing there waiting for him with his arms held out as Seokjin ran into them. Coming home and kissing Jungkook until neither of them could breathe. Coming home and wrapping themselves around each other and breathing out their names as they gripped their hands together. There were so many desperate “I love you”s between kisses and occasional giggles as they were love drunk and just happy to be together again.
“You came home.” Jungkook said with his forehead pressed against Seokjin’s.
Seokjin thought back to the first time he met Jungkook. He remembered how Jungkook’s hand felt against his for the first time. He thought back to their first date and how beautiful Jungkook looked in the glow of the moon. He thought back to when Jungkook met his members for the first time and how he had been so shy and cute around them. He thought back to when he asked Jungkook to move in with him. He then thought about when he said goodbye to Jungkook before leaving for the tour, that final press of his lips to Jungkook’s. And finally, he thought about the Jungkook who was in front of him.
Seokjin loved him more than anything in the entire world.
“I will always come home to you.”