Work Text:
-It is so hot, Crowley. Let us go back to the Bookshop.
-Heat is good, I like heat.
-My dear, not even you can find this enjoyable. I can feel myself melt, and my corporation does not have sweat glands!
-Let’s get ice cream, angel. It will freshen you up.
-I think I am too hot even for ice cream.
-Aw, come on. Let's remedy that. Follow me, you’ll feel better.
-Crowley you cannot do that!
-Why not? What’s stopping me?
-It… it is not allowed , Crowley! There are signs ! Getting in the lake is forbidden !
-And yet here I am. Doing it.
- Crowley ! Get out of here this instant!
-Don’t think I will. Seems to me that you will have to make me, angel.
-If you think for one second that I will hesitate to come and get you, you vile creature, then you are thoroughly mistaken!
-Are you angry at me or in awe of me, Aziraphale? ‘Cause ‘Vile creature’ is kind of a huge compliment in my book.
-That is it ! I am coming to fetch you! And you will deeply regret your actions!
-Angel! I can’t believe you’re actually…
-Do stop laughing at me and get out, Crowley!
-You will have to catch me!
-This is not a game. Crowley! People are looking!
-Probably jealous of us.
-They are looking because you are breaking the law !
-Sorry to pop your bubble, angel, but you’re breaking the law too.
-I am trying to get you out of the lake!
-And yet here you are, in the lake with me and the ducks.
-I could not walk onto it with all these people watching, could I?
-Sirs! If you would be so kind as to come here, please.
- Crowley ! There is a police officer !
-Seems like one, yup.
-Oh no. Oh dear. I am going to get arrested. I will have a record. It’s your fault!
SNAP
-Oh. Oh, thank you , dear. I am sure everyone will be much better off not remembering our little… adventure.
-Whatever helps you sleep at night, angel.
-I do not sleep at night. Oh dear… my poor waistcoat will never be the same.
-Your fault for entering this forbidden lake all dressed up.
-...
-Ngk. Fine !
SNAP
-Thank you so much, dearest.
-Don’t mention it. And for the record, you entered this lake just as willingly as I did. And also don’t act like you don’t already have a record. I know you’ve been arrested thirteen times for ‘gross indecency’ in the fifties.
-It was a misunderstanding! I was trying to help some friends escape before the police arrived. And nothing they were doing was really indecent anyway-
- Thirteen times is not a misunderstanding, Aziraphale, you knew perfectly well that what your friends were doing was against the law and that helping them would get you into trouble.
-I do not permit anyone, not even you, to judge my actions at that moment. These persons needed help and-
-Oh I’m not judging. And I’m certain every one of them got out in time and got home safe. Just saying you don’t have a perfect record of abiding by the law at all times, is all.
-This is not the same . The lake is forbidden for good reasons! The water is not clean, and there is a risk of drowning, and the waterfowl need calm!
-Yeah, yeah, I get it. The ducklings wouldn’t like lots of people wading around.
-Exactly.
-Tell me honestly, though. Don’t you feel better? It is very hot today, is it not? A little impromptu swimming feels good, am I right?
-I am certain I have no idea as to what you are implying, dear. Oh! Ice cream! Let us get one!
-As you wish, angel. My treat.