Chapter Text
What he said was, “For all that has passed, I repay you today.”
Think of it as me doing one good thing at the end.
Then he toppled backward and off the building.
- The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System Vol. 2, Chapter 8: Death, page 159
Dark spots started dancing in his line of sight.
He could see Luo Binghe’s form still, bright as the day, the shocked expression carved into his heart achingly beautiful face. Shen Qingqiu tried to muster a smile for him but god, everything hurt. His entire limbs were filled with lead. But a blooming sense of satisfaction echoed in his aching chest. He did it. He managed to help contain Xin Mo’s recoil. He hoped it was enough. He hoped that with this, Luo Binghe would be free from his rage, that Luo Binghe would forgive him.
He could feel numbness spreading inside him, chasing away the pain.
He closed his eyes. Everything was starting to feel light.
Time slowed down.
Ping!
And then it froze.
Are you seriously not going to let me die in peace? Shen Qingqiu almost raged, despite the buoyancy he was experiencing right now. What the fucking hell SYTEM, he was in the middle of something! If it weren’t for the mouthful of blood already blocking his esophagus, he would have coughed blood from how motherfucking pissed he was right now. Talk about bad timing! He was already seconds from dying and this tyrant piece of shit was assigning him more work? What in the dog blood corporate drama hell is this -
[SYSTEM message: Error
An unknown error has occurred.
Apologies to the Esteemed Host! It seemed like your actions affected our servers. Please give us time to resolve the problem. For the meantime, the SYSTEM will award you a special one-time filler event free of charge! Would you like to continue?]
What the fuck. Are you fucking serious right now? Shen Qingqiu wanted to bang his head. No, he wanted to qi deviate again but with what cultivation? It was gone now. He was nothing but an ordinary squishy human who wanted to you know, escape his human stick era, and successfully have his soul transferred to his mushroom body?
Damn SYSTEM couldn’t get a hint. What good would a filler event even do for him? Impeccable timing as always, especially now that it’s too late. And he was being blamed for affecting the servers? Well, if Shen Qingqiu wasn’t pressed into doing it as a result of the SYSTEM forcing him to throw his beloved boy into the abyss then they wouldn’t have arrived here! It’s not like Shen Qingqiu asked to self-detonate just to stop Xin Mo’s recoil.
But what else could he do? There was no exit button. It wasn’t like he was being given a choice. And judging by the previous punishment protocols he received, Shen Qingqiu bet that saying no would lead to even more dire consequences on his ass and then it would turn its sights on Luo Binghe for shits and giggles. He cursed the SYSTEM, its mother, father, and its seven generations some more in his heart.
Might as well, Shen Qingqiu grumbled as he weakly lifted his hand and pressed the ‘Yes’ button. At least this death isn’t as stupid as choking on expired pork buns.
Ping!
[Thank you for your continued patronage! Esteemed host, you will be sent back to your own world and in your own body, alive, but with no cultivation for three days while the SYSTEM is under maintenance. However, we would like to remind the Esteemed Host that you are still under our Non-disclosure agreement. We do hope that you will enjoy your time!
We will contact the Esteemed host once three days are up!
The filler event, “Three Days in Heaven,” is loading in 3...2...]
Time resumed itself.
And then, just as his vision turned dark, he saw Luo Binghe’s blurred face.
[...1]
Then nothing.
[Congratulations on activating the filler event, “Three Days in Heaven!” Esteemed Host and his Protagonist Plus One can now enjoy a mini vacation together! If you enjoy this event together, please consider leaving a five-star review.]
The lump on the floor squirmed. Then as if remembering that it did have a voice and limbs, the lump groaned and flopped on its back. It turned to be a huge fucking mistake because the lump’s stomach roiled violently and the lump curled into its side as its brain and body rebooted.
Shen Qingqiu ‘s eyes flew open. He gasped as he drew in a ragged breath. Then he choked on his breath. He grabbed his throat as he coughed violently. Wide-eyed, he stared blankly at an odd spot in his vision as he got his breathing into order. That was when he realized that the blurry thing he was staring at resembled a fucking electric socket. A socket.
There were no fucking sockets in Proud Immortal Demon Way. In fact, the legs of this table seemed to be way too modern. And what are those wires? Why were there fucking electric wires in PIDW? Did that stupid hack author write those without adding them on Cang Qiong Mountain just to make their lives easier? Seriously, Shang Qinghua, what a way to yank your reader out of your narrative again. Dammit, that man was testing Shen Qingqiu’s patience every day with his questionable choices which often lead to Shen Qingqiu bearing the brunt of the major consequences.
Shang Qinghua was the author, why was Shen Qingqiu being punished by the narrative and the SYSTEM like this, huh?
Something shifted in his line of sight, He touched his temples. His fingers met something metallic. No, a metal frame. Glasses.
He was wearing glasses.
Shen Qingqiu did not wear glasses. No, his eyesight was so good he could stop an arrow heading towards him in its tracks! But he, not the previous original goods, did. In fact, he wore glasses since he was a kid because he was blind as a bat without them.
There could only be one reason why he was suddenly wearing his glasses and why he was seeing sockets and wires out of nowhere when he had been on top of a building minutes before.
His stomach lurched and bile climbed up his throat. He scrambled up into a sitting position, carefully not to trigger his stupidly soft stomach right now when he saw a half-eaten bun next to him. The green, moldy filling glared at him. Dread suddenly poured into his very being.
Then he caught sight of a figure lying on his bed.
No, it couldn’t be a dakimakura or a fucking standee. The figure’s chest fell and rose. Breathing. No, he didn’t remember bringing someone home. For one, why would he bring a cosplayer he didn’t know in his own home. Which didn’t answer the question of why the fuck was there a living, breathing human being cosplaying his favorite character on his bed -
He goggled at the obviously fit and male body (again, why would he invite a man to his bed), at the high quality and realistic martial style xianxia robes, at the very realistic head of hair and the perfectly drawn zuiyin on that awe-inspiring face -
Wait.
Realization hit him harder than truck-kun and a bulldozer to the head.
Luo Binghe.
Bile hit the back of his tongue.
Operating on autopilot, he hurriedly ran for the bathroom. His brain barely registered the sage green tiles before he was upending everything in his stomach into the toilet bowl. Oh god, he thought as he gagged and spat the last of that fucking pork bun. The sides of his stomach ached. His nose burned.
He barely caught himself against the wall before he brained himself when his knees turned jelly. Watching his mess flush, the only thing he could think of as his memories of what just happened slammed into his brain was: what the fuck. What the fucking fuck.
SYSTEM, you thrice damned fuck pencil-dick scamming waste of breathing space bastard of a whore, why the fuck is the protagonist here?
As if the world was laughing at him, the SYSTEM sent him an automated message and nothing else. No matter which option he hit, the SYSTEM just sent him back to the menu and plastered an ‘Under Maintenance. See you in three days!’ message on his display. Under it was a timer and the clock was already ticking.
The SYSTEM was down. Shen Qingqiu was in his own home, in his own very frail human body, with zero cultivation, and with the protagonist he literally died for in his bedroom. They were stuck together for three days.
Three days.
Well. Who needed the entire circus? He was the entire act by himself!
He staggered to the sink, blindly grabbed his mouthwash and toothbrush from the cabinet and started cleaning his mouth from the rancid taste. Then he stared at his reflection in the mirror blearily.
A pair of oversized black frames stood out under his bangs. His nose, cheeks, lips and eyes were still fairly red. His hair was short (and wow, feeling the cool air against his nape was a startling novelty now) and mussed. He looked more like a harmless rabbit than an immortal master. Seeing his own softer reflection instead of the cool, scholarly and sharply elegant face of Shen Qingqiu almost took him aback but, and he wasn’t going to admit it to anyone, he kind of missed it.
Shen Qingqiu, no he was Shen Yuan now, right? He was in Shen Yuan’s - his - own body. In his own body, in City S, in China. No more peerless immortal lord, no more Xiu Ya (oh god his poor sword), no more fans and no more persona to maintain. Just for three days. Before he had to chill for how many years it would take for his mushroom body to grow then he could fuck off in the world without a care.
Now, he was nothing more but a fuerdai and a NEET with nothing to do in his life but to seclude himself in his bedroom and read webnovels. For three days.
Though loaned from the SYSTEM, he could live like this for three days. He clearly deserved it after all the shit he went through this past month.
In another situation, Shen Yuan would have been so fucking ecstatic that he would milk this mini vacation for all its worth and not surface from his bed. He would spend the whole night catching up with his other webnovels and play all of his mobile and rpg games in like, those three days. He would binge on fast foods and the unhealthiest processed snacks and drinks he could find. KFC! Burgers! Fries! Milk tea! His phone and the Internet! Shen Yuan missed them so much he could cry.
Keywords: in another situation.
The only thing preventing him from celebrating was the protagonist-shaped elephant in the room - well. Bedroom. Because Luo Binghe was here. He was occupying Shen Yuan’s bed like he was the centerpiece of his dakimakura and plushie collection.
Oh Jesus Christ, Buddha, and whoever was up there in the heavens. How the fuck was Shen Yuan even going to explain this?! Everything sounded ludicrous even to himself! How the fuck would he even introduce himself to his most likely and temporary roommate? Would he go:
Dearest, Luo-bingge, tis I, your shizun -
No. He sounded like one of Airplane’s low IQ villains.
Luo Binghe, I am your shizun.
No, scratch that. He couldn’t pull a Darth Vader even for shit, no matter how funny that would be.
Maybe he could pretend that he didn’t know Luo Binghe? He fooled everyone first with his act with Shen Qingqiu, so maybe he could do that? He could pretend that he had no idea why the protagonist was here in the first place, and Shen Yuan was just an ordinary person and definitely not a transmigator. Just like one of those reverse transmigration novels where the book protagonist suddenly found himself in the modern world with this number one fan!
That was if Luo Binghe didn’t decide to kill him for kidnapping him in the first place, Shen Yuan scolded himself. They were in the middle of a rather melodramatic scene where he had redeemed himself in the protagonist’s eyes, then suddenly, the protagonist found himself in another world, surrounded by merchs of himself. With his fool of a shizun nowhere in sight.
Shen Yuan felt all of his blood leave his body at the realization. He gripped the sink harder as he slumped over it.
Luo Binghe was surrounded by Shen Yuan’s merch from Proud Immortal Demon Way (which he hate-bought thank you very much). He would think Shen Yuan was a massive creep, a dangerous fanatic, who should be unalived because those creepy characters should be removed as fast as possible. Because ew.
If Luo Binghe realized what kind of person Shen Yuan was (no, he was not a fanboy), Shen Yuan could never, ever be able to look him in the eye again. Forget being a wandering cultivator when they got back, Shen Yuan was going to be a hermit. He was going to find a cave and seclude himself. He was going to join the trend of immortals who lived like cryptids because that would certainly save him a lot of headaches.
Was it too late to throw everything in the closet and pretend that nothing happened before Luo Binghe woke up? Clearly, Shen Yuan was going to die again, but this time it was due to shame. Now wasn’t that funny? He was barely out of his early twenties in this body and he was going to have three deaths in his belt.
Wait.
Did Luo Binghe have his cultivation or had the SYSTEM effectively shot it down, too? It was almost hilarious to imagine the son of heaven, the golden protagonist himself, being brought down to Shen Yuan’s level. Did Xin Mo accidentally get transmigrated too? Holy fuck, how was it going to affect a sword that can make portals through realms? Would it memorize the coordinates to this world? Even thinking about how many laws in physics that would break made Shen Yuan’s headache.
Oh god, did Luo Binghe even forgive him in the first place? Or did he die for nothing? Wait, would he trigger Luo Binghe’s qi deviation? Or worsen Xin Mo’s influence? How would this event affect Luo Binghe? He no longer had the SYSTEM to read and measure Luo Binghe’s Anger Points and Satisfaction Points.
Would Shen Yuan’s apartment even survive Luo Binghe’s rage or would he get the cops called on both of them if they ended up fighting? He already got out of one prison, no way in hell was he spending what little free time he had in jail!
Fucking hell, Shen Yuan clearly should have read the terms and conditions of this event. He could hear his da-ge’s voice scolding him about accepting contracts without reading everything first.
Oh god, his family. Shen Yuan’s mind raced as he tried to recall the date today, trying to think if there was any danger of encountering them because he didn’t think that he could explain everything without sounding like he needed to be checked in a psychiatric ward. While he missed his family (dearly, like a phantom limb at times and he sometimes wished for their presence), he had years to mourn them. The ache had softened, and Shen Yuan learned to live without them. A part of him still wished that he could have spent one more time with them but there was nothing that could be done aside from moving on.
Thankfully, his parents were out of the country for a project. His brothers were on various business trips. His sister, his annoying little sister who liked to slip in and out of his apartment without warning, was busy with midterms in her university. Therefore, there was no use in bothering them just for Shen Yuan to disappear from their lives three days later. A niggling thought bothered him, how long until his body would have been discovered before the SYSTEM intervened? It was most likely his sister who found his body.
Shen Yuan shivered and pushed that thought away into his mental trash bin. This wasn’t the time to think of what ifs and what could have been. This wasn’t the time to linger on past regrets either! He needed to focus on the present.
Shen Yuan shakily breathed out. He could do this. He faced Luo Binghe’s wrath down twice. He could do this. They were in Shen Yuan’s own turf. Maybe, with his sacrifice, he had softened a little of Luo Binghe’s hatred enough for him to listen to Shen Yuan’s plea?
Luo Binghe was strategic enough not to off a useful ally this early, not until they ran out of use (in which they would fade into obscurity) or they became a traitor (in which they would be horrifically tortured in creative ways before getting killed or suffering through eternity). Shen Yuan grimaced and he straightened his spine. This wasn’t the time to act like a coward!
He glared at his reflection.
Then he heard the bathroom door click. Soft, shuffling footsteps. The rustle of heavy silk cloth. The rush of cold air from the air conditioner caused goosebumps to rise from his bare arms and legs.
“Shizun?”
Like a fucking scene from a horror movie, glowing red eyes stared at him from the mirror. Luo Binghe seemed to tower over him in the space in the short distance between the door and the sink. Still in his martial robes cut to perfection and not a hair out of place, even the awful bathroom lighting couldn’t hide the peerless beauty of his face.
Luo Binghe looked at Shen Yuan, expression so, so blank. As if he was seeing him and at the same time, he wasn’t. Whatever he saw in Shen Yuan’s face made his eyes widen. His mouth moved but Shen Yuan couldn’t hear it because Shen Yuan’s heart plummeted down to his queasy stomach where it pathetically started beating like a drowning bird in a vat of acid.
He could only think of one thing as he whipped around to face the protagonist:
I’m fucked.
Notes:
Some vocab notes:
1. NEET - describes someone who lacks motivation and ambition and is dependent on their parents for support
2. fuerdai - rich second generation'; [fû.âɚtâɪ]) is a Chinese term for the children of the nouveau riche in China
3. City S - the thing about modern danmei is that the authors would name cities after the alphabet
4. Zuiyin - aka lbh's demon marktitle is from taylor swift's, "Down Bad." it's been playing on loop in my head and for some reason, it reminds me of lbh post-abyss and pre-reconciliation.
i already got luo binghe crying to make shen qingqiu sit his ass down and realize shit pre-jinlan city, and shen qingqiu crying in front of luo binghe during jinlan city to cut canon short. might as well make a post-jinlan fix-it to complete it. i hope that no one cries in this fic ahaha. no, i don’t have dacryphilia.
there are already a lot of beautiful and amazing takes on bingqiu reverse transmigration and identity reveals but i thought i'd give it a shot.
thank you for reading!
Chapter 2: everything comes out teenage petulance
Summary:
“Was it funny for shizun?”
Shen Yuan blinked at him. Funny? What the hell was Luo Binghe talking about? If it was Shen Yuan’s life then yes, look at how fucking hilarious his clowning was! He could only say, “What?”
Luo Binghe chuckled. Somehow, it sounded hollow. “All of it. You really, really are good, shizun. You really fooled me.”
Notes:
oh wow. thank you for the support, guys. even if it was just 3k words of sy panicking. i hope you like this over 5k of him doing the same ahaha. please enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
He watched Luo Binghe advance, feeling more and more like a cornered victim in those horror movies he spent watching with his little sister back in the day. Shen Yuan used to loudly complain about those characters not fighting back when there was literally a good makeshift weapon for swinging at the monster just within their reach. Why were they screaming and acting like a zero brain cell idiot? His sister would try to shut him up by stuffing his mouth with chips because he was “ruining the whole experience so shut up, stupid san-ge.”
Now, he was seriously eating his words. In face of the impossible odds, who could think so clearly? Enclosed in a small space, no cultivation, the only possible weapons close to him were his bottles of hygiene products and his toothbrush. A protagonist who was blocking the doorway. If this was a 1v1, who would win?
Shen Yuan would need a deus ex machina to save him and the SYSTEM was down.
Great. Fucking great.
“Shizun?” Luo Binghe repeated, sounding more sure and...hopeful? He reached for him, hand outstretched as if to touch Shen Yuan’s face. Shen Yuan swallowed through the dry feeling in his throat as he fought the urge to instinctively flinch.
“Is it you, shizun?”
Another step forward. Shen Yuan took two steps back. Luo Binghe’s eyes darkened at his actions.
How the fuck - I don’t even look a hundred percent like Shen Qingqiu! Sure, there might be a very, very tiny - alright, so there may be some resemblance but no one would even think that I’m him during the first meeting!
How the fuck did Luo Binghe even figure it out?
Oh fuck. Shen Yuan should have reacted like a normie would. He should be screaming his head off and fighting Luo Binghe off with all his might. He should be demanding who Luo Binghe was and how did he even get into his apartment. You know, like an average guy would. He should be hyperventilating, panicking and shit. He had seen and read so many stupid stories with that kind of plotline. Even nepo baby actors and actresses with shit dead-fish acting knew how to do it!
Screaming his head off shouldn’t be hard!
But no. Shen Yuan was still acting like a composed, nonchalant immortal master who was staring down at the protagonist as if nothing could ever move him.
Betrayed by his own body. The fuck.
Combined with Luo Binghe’s incomparable intelligence stats, Shen Yuan was, in short, figured out. Might as well kiss the Qing Jing Peak Lord, the Xiu Ya Sword Shen Qingqiu goodbye.
For once, Shen Yuan was at loss for words. If he said something right now, it would come out as “adhkjsgyuh?” Instead, he just boggled at Luo Binghe and waited for his next move.
Luo Binghe fell to his knees.
Shen Yuan’s spirit nearly flew out his body for the third time and the thump made him wince at the impact. It echoed throughout the bathroom harder than the sound of a bomb exploding.
“No,” Luo Binghe muttered to himself. “No, you can’t be him. Shizun is...shizun is... This is a joke. An elaborate joke. Shizun can’t be -“ He laughed. A hollow and bitter thing. “I must be dreaming. This isn’t real. Shizun, shizun, I was wrong. I’m sorry... I really -”
Whatever he said next was inaudible to Shen Yuan’s mortal ears. Luo Binghe hugged himself, nearly curling into a ball, and his shoulders trembled. A choked sob.
Shen Yuan stared. And stared. His jaw dropped to the floor.
Did…was his death so unbearable that it reduced the blackened protagonist to this? His debts to Luo Binghe had been paid already. His hatred towards Shen Qingqiu should be lessened now. Yet. It seemed that this silly little disciple of his was…grieving him. Well, of course, Shen Yuan knew that going out like that might leave a psychological shadow on the protagonist but he didn’t calculate the result to turn out like this!
And not to mention that Luo Binghe suddenly found himself in a strange room with a stranger. Just after his master had offed himself in front of him.
But shouldn’t Luo Binghe be angrier? More confused at the state he found himself in? He shouldn’t be crying in front of a stranger (even if that stranger was his shizun in another font and format). In fact, he shouldn’t be showing any vulnerability to anyone else other than his wives!
Shen Yuan couldn’t bear looking at him anymore. No, he couldn’t bear looking at Luo Binghe in this state anymore. Not with the guilt souring his stomach and his heart constricting in his stuffy chest. This wasn’t right. Luo Binghe shouldn’t be acting like this at Shen Yuan - no, Shen Qingqiu’s expense.
“Luo Binghe!” Shen Yuan rasped, voice sounding even foreign to his ears, in a tone that he usually used to his misbehaving students. “Calm down.”
As if a switch had been flicked, Luo Binghe stopped trembling. He became as still as a statue and Shen Yuan tensed. Did Shen Yuan accidentally poked the bull hornet’s nest?
Luo Binghe turned to him. His eyes were gleaming, tears clung to his lashes and made them look thicker. His cheeks were flushed a fetching shade of pink. He was glowing. What the fuck, Shen Yuan thought incredulously. As someone who was faced with Luo Binghe’s teary and forlorn maiden expression during Luo Binghe’s disciple days, he didn’t expect that it would be even more devastating in the protagonist’s adulthood!
Shen Yuan hysterically thought, if Luo Binghe gave him this face instead of stalking him like karma reincarnated then he might have blurted apologies instead of running away.
Then he realized how stupid that sounded and internally slapped himself.
Luo Binghe stared at him. “What did you say?”
Shen Yuan couldn’t bear this anymore. He straightened himself and said, “This master told you to compose yourself. Look at you, you’re too big to still be acting like this.”
Luo Binghe’s eyes widened. Softly, as if speaking would break Shen Yuan into tiny pieces, he called out, “Shizun?”
“Who else would it be?” Shen Yuan muttered. Well, the cat was out of the bag now. Whoopie. Surprise. Your shizun is a motherfucking poser. Must be a hard blow to deal with.
He hesitantly crossed the distance and touched Luo Binghe’s arm. He felt Luo Binghe tense but Shen Yuan soldiered on. He grabbed Luo Binghe and pulled him to stand.
It was a struggle. Luo Binghe was too heavy! What the fuck were they feeding him in Huan Hua Palace? Luo Binghe’s eyes were bemused but he went with it after Shen Yuan’s second attempt at making him stand.
Shen Yuan avoided his gaze even as he pulled Luo Binghe out of the bathroom and into his kitchen. He sat Luo Binghe on the nearest chair and went on to get them both something to drink.
Then he stood in front of his cabinets and took an embarrassing few seconds to remember where his maid placed his glasses. And then a few more seconds of fumbling with the water dispenser. All the while Luo Binghe’s heavy gaze was trained on him. By the time he pushed the second glass of water to Luo Binghe, his cheeks already felt a little hot from his frustration. He drank the cold water, almost sighing in relief when it soothed his sore throat.
Luo Binghe touched the glass of water. His fingers drew listlessly on the condensation. He didn’t drink it.
Shen Yuan was starting to feel self-conscious.
Was Luo Binghe expecting something fancier than water?
Well. He didn’t have the fancy tea in stock. Only his second older brother got that taste from their grandparents, no matter how much the man extolled its virtues on Shen Yuan. Frankly, Shen Yuan tuned him out just to read the newest update of Proud Immortal Demon Way. Only for that chapter to end up so tasteless that he would rather listen to his second older brother yammering about the quality of tea leaves! For two hours!
He was tempted to offer Luo Binghe coffee or his stash of energy drinks. Even if a part of him was curious of what the protagonist would think of what was sixty percent of Shen Yuan’s daily diet but he refrained himself from doing so. The taste might become another shock to the protagonist and Shen Yuan didn’t want to overwhelm him that much. Familiarity bred comfort and all that shit.
Thinking back at the poor state of his pantry, Shen Yuan resigned himself to going on a grocery run. He remembered that the maid coincidentally asked for a week off to attend a funeral for her grandfather. Shen Yuan emptied a majority of its contents when he binged on the last chapters of that damn stupid novel. Look where it got him!
Damn, he missed inedia.
“Was this part of shizun’s plan all along?” Luo Binghe suddenly spoke, cutting off Shen Yuan’s thoughts. When Shen Yuan looked in his direction, all he saw was the bitter smile on Luo Binghe’s face when he said, “Was it funny for shizun?”
Shen Yuan blinked at him. Funny? What the hell was Luo Binghe talking about? If it was Shen Yuan’s life then yes, look at how fucking hilarious his clowning was! He could only say, “What?”
Luo Binghe chuckled. Somehow, it sounded hollow. “All of it. You really, really are good, shizun. You really fooled me.”
Shen Yuan frowned. “Luo Binghe, I don’t understand -”
Luo Binghe’s face twisted into a sort of rage. Shen Yuan let out the tiniest flinch. “Well, forgive this disciple because I don’t understand shizun either! Whenever I thought I did, it turned out to be wrong!”
Shen Yuan’s mouth fell open in shock. What did he even do? “What are you even saying?”
Luo Binghe laughed. “For a moment, this disciple thought that you were dead. Then you are alive and you look different. If this disciple’s observations are correct then we are in a different realm. Tell me, was it real, shizun? Were you really my shizun-“
“Of course, it was real! I am your shizun, Luo Binghe,” Shen Yuan cut him off hotly. “Just because I look different doesn’t mean that I didn’t spend weeks correcting your calligraphy, or teaching you your sword-“
“But you’re not him, aren’t you, shizun?”
Shen Yuan’s lips spasmed shut. He looked away. Luo Binghe smiled, another humorless smile but the way he was staring at Shen Yuan made him feel like he was being peeled open and studied under a microscope. Luo Binghe continued, “This disciple had suspected that you weren’t really him but shizun was so nice and kind to this disciple. Why should I raise any alarm?”
Shen Yuan kept silent.
But of course, his silence meant yes.
Fuck. Luo Binghe knew? Well, kind of knew before Shen Yuan (and the fucking SYSTEM) forced them to be confronted by the truth. Was Shen Yuan so bad at acting that he accidentally tipped the protagonist off? But the SYSTEM said nothing about his now lackluster performance, instead, it kept piling on the points on Shen Yuan’s indulgence of the protagonist the moment he unlocked the OOC function.
He thought of his actions early on. Of course, he couldn’t bring himself to abuse the protagonist or anyone in general so that was maybe a huge clue.
So why didn’t the rest of the peak lords investigate very well? Even Yue Qingyuan, who seemed to be close to the original goods, didn't complain about Shen Yuan’s performance. In fact, he wasn’t even questioned that hard in the first place! Everyone accepted the theory that the personality change was caused by the qi deviation. For a moment, Shen Yuan felt pity for the original goods. Gone so soon and was never missed.
Yet it didn’t erase the fact that his little disciple suspected it! Of course, Luo Binghe would be the one to clock him first. The intelligence stats weren’t lying. In a world of flowers turning into simpering women panting for the great heavenly pillar, never mind their severely underutilized and wasted potentials, and low-rate villains, Luo Binghe’s smarts would outshine anyone.
For a moment, Shen Yuan felt a little embarrassed but also proud. The student had really outdone the teacher.
But Luo Binghe wasn’t done. Oh no. Shen Yuan let the cat out of the bag and Luo Binghe finally cornered him into a place where he couldn’t squirm his way out.
“Then tell me why. Why did you do it?” Luo Binghe asked, his tone soft and gentle. As if coaxing a bunny out of its den, only for it to be devoured.
Shen Yuan pressed his lips together. Which part, he wanted to ask? Why did he possess the original goods’ body? Well, the NDA he signed with the SYSTEM prevented him from saying shit under the threat of his permanent death or worse. So if Luo Binghe asked that, Shen Yuan had to pull an Airplane plot device just to keep his ass safe.
Or was Luo Binghe asking why he was kind to him? That was an easy question. This was Luo Binghe. A child so easy to loved but got fucked over by fate. If not Shen Yuan then who would do it? Ning Yingying? Shen Yuan read and memorized canon from start to finish to know how well that turned out.
Or, his heart dropped to his stomach and churned, was Luo Binghe asking why he had to literally drop-kick him into the abyss?
Shen Yuan grimaced.
It was the only thing that Luo Binghe kept asking him the past month. Why did Shen Yuan do it? Did he regret it?
Of course he regretted it! What kind of heartless fool wouldn’t? He regretted his helplessness and hopelessness at that moment, his inability to do anything but follow through since the SYSTEM demanded it under severe consequences. But he couldn’t say those things, not with a gag order from the SYSTEM.
Luo Binghe ignored Shen Yuan’s continued silence. Separated as they were by the kitchen counter, his presence was still an imposing and heavy cloud. Those razor-sharp dark eyes of his never left Shen Yuan’s face. But Shen Yuan could sense something, a building rage.
“For years, I have been trying to understand why you did it. All those years, I spent wondering what I’ve done wrong for you to cast me aside. I did everything to please you, shizun. I did everything for you to love me! But when I needed you the most, you threw me away.”
Luo Binghe really knew that hit where it hurt the most. The words stung, and stabbed like a hot dagger to the bone. Shen Yuan protested, “It’s not - I didn’t-”
Luo Binghe scoffed and shook his head. “All I wanted were answers from you, shizun. Anything. But you scorn me every time as if this disciple was a diseased mongrel you hated and wanted to get rid of so desperately -”
“I didn’t scorn you!” Shen Yuan snapped before he could stop himself. “Luo Binghe, you were chasing me. You even tortured me and helped them keep me in prison for a crime I didn’t even do! What was I supposed to do, run to you?”
When the final words left his mouth, an echoing quiet was left in their wake.
Oh shit. SHIT. Shen Yuan, you dumb fuck. You can’t just shout at the protagonist!
However, those words snapped something inside Luo Binghe. He stood from his seat, hands slapping the counter so hard that the granite almost cracked. The familiar fury burned in his eyes. Shen Yuan wanted to step back but goddamned it, he was tired of running away.
“I would have gladly protected you! Do you know how hard it is to resent someone you love so much, shizun? This disciple had for years! Yet in the end, I never wanted to hurt you,” Luo Binghe’s voice cracked. “And I admit that I was wrong for even laying a hand on you, shizun, and you can seek retribution for my crimes if you wish to. But if you had just said something instead of running away- no. Look at me when I’m talking to you!”
“Well, I’m sorry for being too scared to confront you. How was I supposed to know that the disciple I was forced to abandon in the pits of the abyss only wanted to have a chat with little old me? Did you think that I wanted to cast you off? Did you think that I even enjoyed knowing how much you’d suffer? I would have gladly cut off my own sword arm if I could spare you the fate, Luo Binghe!” Shen Yuan shouted before he could stop himself. He wiped the wetness on his cheeks before he even knew it. “I knew that you’d hate me and you’d want your revenge when you got out, and you won’t even be wrong for demanding it. But it was a price that I’m willing to pay so you can live!”
Luo Binghe was silent. He looked at Shen Yuan, struck silent. A tear rolled down his cheek.
He looked devastated.
Something in Shen Yuan’s chest cracked.
“So we both can live. I just -” Shen Yuan reiterated. He gulped. His throat was so, so dry. His eyes were hot. His chest ached. It felt like all the truth was being ripped out of him one by one. “I just wanted you to achieve your potential. You - you won’t have reached it if you stayed by my side. I don’t know how bad our fates would turn out to be if I didn’t do it and I wasn’t willing to risk it. It was the best course for us. The sects would have hunted you down if they saw your zuiyin and I knew you could survive the abyss. After all, you are Luo Binghe. My greatest, my pride, my best disciple. The strongest of them all.”
Luo Binghe was still silent. Shen Yuan angrily wiped his eyes. Fuck this. Fuck it all.
“I never - I never hated you. How can I ever hate you? I just. I’ve always looked for you, Binghe. I’m sorry. Fuck.” Shen Yuan slammed his glass on the counter. From the corner of his eyes, Luo Binghe flinched. Shen Yuan cringed when he felt another tear (seriously, why the fuck was he crying?) roll down his cheek. His stomach was cramping. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!
He cleared his throat and continued, “I’ll order us food. Pray that Binghe can forgive this master’s unsightliness. There are books in the living room. Binghe can entertain himself before the food gets delivered.”
With that, he turned to leave. He needed to get away. He needed to get back to his room, lock it, and fucking compose himself goddamnit. Maybe he could spend the next two days buried in his bed. He spent months in seclusion so it wouldn’t be a problem!
They could just have takeout brought in for every meal and Shen Yuan could sneak out of his room once Luo Binghe was finally asleep. This wasn’t how Shen Yuan wanted the first day of his mini vacation to turn out but it could have been worse.
But losing his composure in front of Luo Binghe? He was better at controlling himself. What the fuck was wrong with him -
“Shizun!” Luo Binghe grabbed him before Shen Yuan could run again. He tugged Shen Yuan close, warm and muscled body wrapping around him. Luo Binghe choked out apologies, over and over again telling him that he never wanted to hurt or kill him. How he was wrong, so terribly wrong for forcing Shen Yuan’s hand.
Shen Yuan returned his embrace and he could only whisper his own quiet apology in Luo Binghe’s ear. The protagonist sobbed even harder and begged for forgiveness.
What was one more indignity? Shen Yuan asked himself. They fell to the floor. Luo Binghe crawled into Shen Yuan’s lap despite his size and curled into a ball there. He tucked his face into and wept heavily against Shen Yuan's shoulder.
There you are, Shen Yuan thought helplessly and thought of the misunderstandings that ran them to this point. Oh, Binghe. My Binghe.
He sat back against the wall and held the crumbling protagonist closer to his heart.
It took an hour before Luo Binghe could calm down. It was only due to Shen Yuan groaning because of the cramps and how numb his legs were. Then he had to shoo off a fussing Luo Binghe from trying to carry him to his bedroom because no, Shen Yuan’s dignity had already been tried so much today.
He hopped on one leg, massaged his calves and wiggled his toes when he spotted Luo Binghe’s boots. Suddenly, all ingrained instincts filtered into his consciousness. He looked at Luo Binghe’s (still gorgeous even after an hour of heavy, seriously how fucking unfair) red face and ordered him to take off his boots and get spare slippers. A confused Luo Binghe followed his orders and didn’t even protest when Shen Yuan banished him to wait in the living room while Shen Yuan fixed his bedroom.
He managed to unearth his phone under the bed. Luo Binghe’s official art (which actually paled next to the protagonist) blared at him. Shen Yuan checked the time, and tried not to think of how flustered he was right now. Then he stared at the monitor. He glowered at the open web page of the webnovel’s site, his unfinished comment and vindictively clicked the exit button and closed his computer. What was the use of flaming Airplane’s ass when the hack himself couldn’t read it?
Then he proceeded to place all of his merch into his closet. Shen Yuan thanked every single deity he could remember that Luo Binghe didn’t ask about them. No. Shen Yuan might as well eat glass. He wouldn’t be able to look Luo Binghe in the eye if he did. He didn’t want to lose coolness points for being like a creep collecting items with his face!
He called a restaurant serving traditional cuisine. All that…emotional breakdown was making him crave traditional food. The fast food binge could wait tomorrow. Then he changed into another shirt because the giant wet splotch was bothering him.
And speaking of clothes, he needed to dig deep into the spare bedroom to see if he still had his da-ge’s clothes. That man and Luo Binghe seemed to be the same size. Also, Luo Binghe could use said spare bedroom while he was here. The only person who used it was his little sister who was much neater than Shen Yuan was.
He continued to make plans as he entered the living room. He found Luo Binghe in front of the latest family portrait. He watched as Luo Binghe touched the glass and traced it with gentle fingers.
Shen Yuan suddenly felt awkward.
For one, he didn’t know how to approach Luo Binghe now that the secret was out. And with what happened earlier…fucking hell. It was as if Shen Yuan was stuck in a strange limbo.
And second, this looked like a private moment and he was unwilling to break it.
“Shizun has a beautiful family,” Luo Binghe spoke without turning to him. “You look like your a-niang.”
Shen Yuan walked towards him until they were standing side by side. He looked at the family portrait, a twinge in his chest. Wow. He almost forgot what they looked like. It was an old grief he carried. Looking at them now, Shen Yuan wished that he could take that portrait back with him just for sentimentality’s sake.
“I don’t think so,” Shen Yuan replied. “My meimei resembles her the most.”
Luo Binghe hummed as his gaze flicked towards Shen Yuan’s sister but there was no interest in his eyes. Well. That was a relief. Shen Yuan’s xiao meimei was too young for romance!
“Then…begging shizun’s understanding. Why did you leave them? How did you find yourself in Shen-shifu’s body?”
Shen Yuan froze.
Ah, shit.
How the hell was he going to explain that? He hoped that Luo Binghe would conveniently ignore that tidbit but it was a stupid hope anyway.
On the plus side, this body didn’t have Luo Binghe’s blood parasites so Shen Yuan was prepared to make shit up. He read enough webnovels. He could fill a plot hole better than Shang Qinghua!
“It was an accident. This master didn’t mean to possess him but I -“ he tried to think of ways to phrase it without sounding uncool but failed. Oh hell. “I died choking on a pork bun.”
Luo Binghe paled, incredulous and horrified. “…pardon?”
Shen Yuan winced. “Yes. Binghe. I know.” He cleared his throat. “Anyway. Something went wrong with my reincarnation and it dropped me into Shen Qingqiu’s body. His soul had also left. He died during that qi deviation.”
Luo Binghe was silent as he listened. Brows furrowed. His expression didn’t even twitch at the mention of the original goods’ death.
“Does anyone else know?”
Shen Yuan considered throwing Shang Qinghua under the bus but that would open a can of worms he wasn’t prepared to face yet. He needed to review the SYSTEM’s rules and NDA before he went on blurting those fucking secrets!
Shen Yuan cursed Airplane and the SYSTEM in his heart as he answered, “Binghe doesn’t need to worry.”
“If someone threatens you, this disciple shall take care of them. Shizun only needs to say the word,” Luo Binghe vowed, nonplussed. “For all its worth, this disciple is selfishly grateful for fate granting my unworthy self the chance to meet you. However, I wish I could have spared you-“
Shen Yuan cut him off with a wave of his hand. What’s the use for what-ifs? But of course, Luo Binghe couldn’t leave his questioning at that.
“But how and why were you able to come back here? Are you truly - are you truly -“ Luo Binghe couldn’t even bring himself to choke the words out. His hands clenched into tight fists.
“A one-of-a-kind ancient artifact. This master didn’t know what it did but apparently, it gave me three days to be here before it takes me back again,” Shen Yuan lied. He stared hard at the portrait, at his young self who was smiling for the camera. “And yes. Technically, this master is dead in our world-“
“Shizun!”
“Technically! This master is still alive.” Shen Yuan tiredly poked Luo Binghe’s forehead. “That’s a discussion for another day, okay?”
Luo Binghe sniffed. He looked like he wanted to protest but he swallowed it back and nodded. They lapsed back into silence.
It only lasted for a minute or two before Luo Binghe asked, “Asking shizun, will you tell your disciple about them?”
Unable to deny him and desperate to turn Luo Binghe’s attention from the transmigration, Shen Yuan did.
He spoke about his family’s business, his parents. He told Luo Binghe their names. He talked about his siblings, their work, and his little sister’s major. He talked about how this world didn’t have any cultivation and how technology was important to it. He rambled on some more anecdotes about his siblings for good measure. When he was done, Luo Binghe was looking at him with soft eyes and a tender smile. Something lodged deep in Shen Yuan’s throat and it trailed down his fingertips.
“And what about shizun?”
“What about me?” Shen Yuan coughed to clear his throat.
“This disciple…this disciple wants to know shizun’s real name.”
Oh.
“Shen Yuan.”
“Shen Yuan,” Luo Binghe repeated. The way he said it made Shen Yuan shiver. Luo Binghe repeated it again and again until Shen Yuan made him stop.
When Luo Binghe asked for the character, Shen Yuan shrugged. “The character means a ‘wall that surrounds something else.’”
He never thought much of his name before. It was just another part of his identity.
Shen Yuan, third son, fuerdai, a NEET with too much time on his hands. He was Peerless Cucumber, an avid reader who trudged through Airplane Flying Towards the Sky’s Proud Immortal Demon Way, who could write thousand word paragraphs criticizing that stupid hack of an author of his ill-made choices of sacrificing good worldbuilding, a potential plot, and characterization for papapa. Then he was Shen Qingqiu, Luo Binghe’s abusive bastard of a master and the antagonist who died paying for his sins.
It had been so long since he thought of himself as Shen Yuan. In fact, he acclimatized himself to Shen Qingqiu’s role so much that it literally became his!
Saying his old name out loud to Luo Binghe felt like an admission. A secret that only the two of them got to keep.
After all that Luo Binghe went through, sharing his own name was a small thing for Shen Yuan to grant to him.
“It’s fitting,” Luo Binghe said, this time a genuine gentle smile overtook his face. It was even more devastating than the goddamned sun. Shen Yuan ignore how hard his heart was beating because holy fuck. No wonder so many ladies fell for him! The power of the stallion protagonist was unparalleled!
Shen Yuan turned away.“What does Binghe mean?”
“Shizun always does that. He tends to surround and shield the people he cares about from harm.”
Shen Yuan almost died again right then and there. He gaped at Luo Binghe, speechless. Motherfucker. Who the hell raised this smooth talker?! Luo Binghe, you turn that shit on to ladies, not your old teacher!
His face, this thin face that was way too open than he was used to, felt hot.
“This unworthy disciple has been protected by shizun until it cost him his life,” Luo Binghe murmured, grief choking his voice. He suddenly grabbed Shen Yuan’s hand and held it to his chest, right against his beating hard. “This disciple swears that shizun doesn’t have to do it anymore. This time, I will treat you better. I will protect you, shizun. If you want to stay in this world then I will find a way to grant it. Wherever you choose to go, whatever you decide to do, I shall be with you. Fate can try to break us but I will find a way to you. The Heavens may strike me down if I break my promise.”
Before Shen Yuan could sputter a response, the doorbell rang. He ran, tail tucked between his legs, to answer it. The delivery boy was a nondescript teenager who grinned bashfully at him but his face turned white when he saw Luo Binghe looming from behind Shen Yuan’s shoulder. The delivery boy hurriedly gave them their order and sputtered out a goodbye. Then he ran so fast he broke laws of physics.
He pushed Luo Binghe away and made him carry their orders to the kitchen. When Luo Binghe’s figure disappeared to the kitchen, Shen Yuan shut the door, slipped down dramatically and then slapped his hot cheeks.
Cool it! He berated himself. What the fuck are you blushing for like a damned maiden?! That wasn’t a confession, that was a disciple being filial to his teacher!
But why did Luo Binghe make it sound like a confession?
That boy, seriously. Where was it when he and Ning Yingying were frolicking in the peak? When he met Liu Mingyan? Even Sha Hualing or one of the Qin sisters?!
Was Shen Yuan supposed to teach him how to date? He was the worst candidate for it considering that he never had a girlfriend before! Given that Shen Yuan’s spirit would go into hiatus inside his mushroom body, that would leave Luo Binghe alone for a few years. Maybe hope wasn’t lost. Maybe when he woke up, Luo Binghe’s stallion protagonist powers finally woke up and then he’d have started his harem.
Now that they have…reconciled, Luo Binghe would be devastated when they get back and Shen Yuan was only there in body but not in spirit.
Yeah, he needed to sort that out later.
There were so many problems and only one person to answer all of them.
His stomach grumbled. Right. He forgot how hungry he was originally. Food first, then Shen Yuan had the entire night to think everything over. Whatever lingering issues needed to resolve could wait until tomorrow.
He prodded the SYSTEM’s panel again and watched the remaining time.
And he fucking prayed that the SYSTEM wouldn’t be on his ass for revealing some truths to Luo Binghe.
Notes:
dw. more questions will be answered later.
i almost wrote “look at the state of you, you’re too big to be acting like this” but i heard the first line in nicola coughlan’s clare voice and just about died laughing.
please look at this meta about sqq’s name because mxtx is a fucking genius at naming her characters and i worship her
edit: and this is how i see shen yuan and plantzun.
idk who these characters are but that’s them in my head
as for the confrontation scene…it’s angrier than i originally intended. in fact, this is the angriest confrontation i’ve ever wrote in this series. idk if it’s ooc but given how their situation prior to this fic, i think it fits. sorry 😬✌️
on a side note, this chapter marks my 300k word count on a03 🎉
thank you for reading!
Chapter 3: for a moment i knew cosmic love
Notes:
your girl just got promoted so here’s something fluffier to celebrate it 🎉. also, yes. there’s an added chapter count. please don’t ask.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
He stayed awake until three in the morning, unable to find enough peace to sleep.
The bed felt foreign. The humming of the air conditioner bothered him even when he managed to unearth his earplugs from the drawer. The ringing silence which followed didn’t help.
He tried to search for updates from his stash of web novels but he couldn’t focus on the words in the page to make sense of them and he was too tired to remember what happened from the previous chapters. He stared blankly at his collection of mobile games but couldn’t summon the energy to open a single one of them. He tried social media but was largely uninterested with the current debates on his page.
Once upon a time, Shen Yuan would dip his toes into some debates because some takes were so bad they needed to get educated!
If Shen Yuan was their literary teacher, he would make them take thirty laps around the peak and make them write a minimum of a five paragraph literary criticism on each of the classics.
The reading comprehension was so low that even their dogs would think that they were shaming their family’s name! Even Shen Yuan’s disciple who always received the lowest grading was a genius compared to them!
His mind wandered circles around nothing for hours on end and he ended up staring at the ceiling. Ultimately, all his thoughts ended up on Luo Binghe for the umpteenth time and he had to work hard to distract himself again.
With a resigned grumble, he fetched his glasses from the desk, got off the bed and wandered towards the windows. He opened the heavy curtains and stared at the bright lights and high rise buildings. The difference between his view here and from his peak was so jarring that Shen Yuan couldn’t help the weird feeling of being displaced again. But after spending a month in the Underground Water Prison, surrounded by the damp and darkness and in nothing but wet clothes, the change was a welcome one.
There were no stars. The only thing he could see were the cars, the city lights. Everything was too bright, too loud.
He could hear Luo Binghe’s questions now.
Hours ago, Luo Binghe’s natural curiosity got the better of him and he started asking Shen Yuan about his phone and the appliances around the apartment. Especially in the kitchen. He started poking around and Shen Yuan would fondly (even if he was exhausted as fuck) answered in a succession, “Yes, Binghe. We cook with that stove so you don’t need wood to make a fire. You can make ice there and store food so it doesn’t go bad. That’s for baking. You can mix things in it until it turns liquid. Yes, we need to buy food from the supermarket because my fridge is empty and no, I haven’t been starving - yes, I’ll bring you. And yes, you can use them. Tomorrow. Stop pouting.”
Even Luo Binghe’s famous snobbish attitude towards food that he didn’t make returned. He still ate the takeout but he couldn’t help pointing out what the dishes lacked and he could make a better one for Shen Yuan.
The fact was Luo Binghe was taking The Reveal TM well. In fact he was also taking his transmigration to Shen Yuan’s world too well. Even his cultivation being suppressed to the point that he could only use his martial ability didn’t phase him!
It would have concerned Shen Yuan but the protagonist halo ensured a strong, unbending mental state that no matter which realm Luo Binghe got yanked to in Proud Immortal Demon Way, the protagonist would adjust quickly and assimilate like a native.
Even if Luo Binghe’s cultivation was suppressed to the point that it was useless, he would find ways to survive. His high intelligence, observational skills, award winning acting skills and charms would have everyone eating at the palm of his hands in no time! Not to mention the conveniently beautiful maiden with high connections falling skirt over head for him…
Even if this Luo Binghe wasn’t exactly like the one in the webnovel, Shen Yuan was sure that Luo Binghe was doing fine! He raised this little (white, no, black, on second thought maybe grey?) lotus of his to be resilient and quick on his feet. The only other major reaction he got from Luo Binghe was the scandalized face when Shen Yuan lent him his da-ge’s clothes and when Shen Yuan explained that everyone wore these kinds of clothing in this world.
He managed to place his little sister’s stuff in the closet and changed the bedsheets and pillows before he sent Luo Binghe off to bed so Shen Yuan could exhaust himself from rethinking all his life choices in peace.
Shen Yuan found himself staring the wall that separated the second bedroom from his for the hundredth time. Then, realizing that he was doing it again, he went back to the streets below and to the vehicles passing by like a child that was caught eating his eight tanghulu.
Minutes crawled by painstakingly.
A knock on the door made him jump.
It was followed by a second, more tentative knock.
A little worried, Shen Yuan called out, “Come in.”
Luo Binghe stepped inside, hesitation clearly written all over his form. For a moment, Shen Yuan saw that sweet boy who used to run to him crying because of nightmares. In those rare times, he would hush Luo Binghe, wipe away his tears and let him sleep in his bed. It wasn’t proper for sure, but thankfully that phase was short and Luo Binghe resumed sleeping in his own bed when he grew older.
The Luo Binghe in front of him was clearly distressed. Even in the dark, Shen Yuan saw his pain and tear-lined cheeks. Ultimately, Shen Yuan folded. He raised his arms. Luo Binghe stumbled towards him and enfolded Shen Yuan into his embrace. Shen Yuan sighed fondly and patted Luo Binghe’s head.
Luo Binghe took a deep shuddering breath and wound his arms tighter. He said nothing.
Oh, this sticky sheep, Shen Yuan tutted in his heart.
After a while, Luo Binghe loosened his hold. Shen Yuan was about to ask when the younger man readjusted their positions so Luo Binghe was hugging him from behind, with Luo Binghe’s chin hooked on his shoulder.
In this position, Shen Yuan saw their reflections on the window.
This feels too intimate! A tiny part of him protested. You’re both men. You’re his master. This is improper!
But Shen Yuan knew how far skinship between male idols would be pushed for fanservice. Besides, without a harem (and oh how Binghe spluttered vehement denials and looked so appalled when Shen Yuan teasingly asked his experience on wooing maidens earlier), Luo Binghe was essentially touch - starved. And maidenless. Shen Yuan wanted to grieve at the poor state of stallion protagonist because where the fuck did he go wrong?
But the warmth coming from Luo Binghe and how surprisingly snuggly he was despite his muscles prevented Shen Yuan from protesting. The tension he had been holding drained away as he unconsciously relaxed into Luo Binghe’s chest.
What was a little skinship between bros? Given The Reveal TM, they were definitely bros now. Besides, if he tried to reject Luo Binghe’s affection, Luo Binghe would pout and cry on him. Shen Yuan had seen enough tears shed today to last him a year so he resigned himself to his fate as the protagonist’s teddy bear.
So he just patted Luo Binghe’s cheek and said, “What’s troubling you?”
Luo Binghe’s mouth pressed into a thin line. “It’s nothing. Shizun doesn’t need to worry about this disciple’s troubles.”
Shen Yuan snorted. If he had his fan right now, he would have tapped Luo Binghe’s forehead in admonition. “It’s not nothing if Binghe came all the way here.”
He felt Luo Binghe sigh. Shen Yuan stroked Luo Binghe’s wrist to comfort him and waited.
“Shizun’s world is very bright and fast,” Luo Binghe replied instead. He looked down at the streets. “What are those things, shizun?”
Trying to divert my attention? Nice try.
It was a half-hearted attempt though. Luo Binghe could charm his way in and out of uncomfortable conversations without anyone realizing that he had sidestepped their attempts of questioning him.
“A car. It’s a machine that we use instead of carriages. It draws its power from complex mechanisms and from a kind of liquid to move instead of being pulled by a horse,” Shen Yuan humored him. “Now that I answered your question, tell me what’s wrong.”
Luo Binghe glanced at him below his lashes. “Shizun is very persistent.”
Shen Yuan rolled his eyes and made a move to break free. “And Luo Binghe is welcome to go back to his room if-“
Luo Binghe suddenly squeezed him tighter and buried his face against Shen Yuan’s hair. “Don’t. This disciple is sorry.”
Shen Yuan’s heart thudded in his ribcage, almost speechless at the action. “Binghe…”
“This disciple has been thinking about fate,” Luo Binghe confessed. “About how cruel and kind it is to both of us.”
“What does Binghe mean?”
“This disciple has no right to be thankful for being granted the privilege of having you. Shizun has a good and safe life here. And when you di-“ Luo Binghe choked the last part in a mumble, holding Shen Yuan tighter as if he could meld the two of them together from rib cage to spine. “Shizun didn’t deserve to be dragged into this lowly one’s life. You didn’t deserve everything that you’ve been put through yet, in spite of that, this disciple is happy. Selfish and wretched as I am, I am happy that it’s you. I don’t know what would’ve happened if Shen-shifu was still in your place.”
Silly little sheep. I literally transmigrated because I was way too fucking pissed at what your creator did to you. Then I self-detonated to save you. In the end, it’s you. Shen Yuan wanted to say. His chest was stuffy. His throat was dry. He could only pat Luo Binghe’s hands on his stomach.
Compared to his boring NEET life, his life as Shen Qingqiu was way more fun and exciting! He got to be the cool immortal master who knew amazing sword moves and who played an important role in the protagonist’s lore for one. Aside from his major crisis with being turned into a human stick, Shen Yuan was hardly complaining about his transmigration.
“I thought, what if your reincarnation passed without any incident? I wouldn’t have met you and - and-“
“We’re fated to be in this life together. That’s all that matters.” Shen Yuan consoled him. Luo Binghe’s breath hitched. “Binghe shouldn’t think of any other what-ifs. Besides, it could be worse. I could’ve been Ming Fan.”
Luo Binghe shuddered. Shen Yuan grinned and took that as a cue to tease Luo Binghe out of his morose thoughts. “Maybe Liu Qingge?”
Luo Binghe shuddered again but this time violently, and he whimpered as if he was in pain. “Don’t. Shizun, please don’t.”
Shen Yuan couldn’t help throwing his head back and laughing. A full on belly laugh. Something he would never do in front of his disciples as Shen Qingqiu. He felt Luo Binghe freeze behind him but he still caught Shen Yuan when his knees gave up from laughing too hard.
When he managed to get his strength back and after fixing his askew glasses, he saw Luo Binghe staring at him from their reflections. Something soft like awe on his face.
Shen Yuan’s stomach flipped. His heartbeat stuttered. Swallowing, he kept his grin on as he continued to tease Luo Binghe, “Maybe I could’ve been another demon? Or a rogue cultivator who would act as your mysterious benefactor?”
Even if he was sent to possess the body of an NPC, Shen Yuan would no doubt trip his way into Luo Binghe’s path one way or another. Hell, even if he had been transmigrated as his biological father, Shen Yuan would claw out of what hellhole he disappeared into just to raise him!
It was a good thing, though, that Shen Yuan wasn’t transmigrated into a woman because things would’ve been awkward.
Luo Binghe hummed in consideration.
“This disciple will always recognize shizun no matter what body he’s in.” Luo Binghe’s voice was gruff but it was so, so tender. It brought shivers down Shen Yuan’s spine.
“Clearly, this master is bad at hiding since you managed to figure out who I am-“ Shen Yuan turned around as he retorted only to stop short and stare like a dumbfounded idiot.
Luo Binghe’s unbound hair framed his lovely face. His lips looked fuller under the dim light and shadows. His lashes fluttered against his cheeks, eyes unbearably gentle and amused.
A weird tension settled between them. Shen Yuan was suddenly aware of the arms still wrapped around him, how one of Luo Binghe’s big hands was splayed low on his back. The other on his hip. How Luo Binghe’s shirt strained around his chest as it pressed against Shen Yuan. Even through Shen Yuan’s sweater, the touch of him burned.
Even his scent, something like clean musk, Shen Yuan’s body wash, and a deep spicy, sweet and woodsy smell that Airplane used to harp about using thousands of words, started to get into Shen Yuan’s senses.
Fucking hell. His whole face was starting to feel hot!
This isn’t fair! Shen Yuan internally wailed. Luo Binghe was literally built to attract people. How the hell was this man still maidenless when he looked like this?! Were the women blind?
“It’s this disciple’s fault,” Luo Binghe murmured, unaware of Shen Yuan’s inner turmoil. He gently knocked his forehead against Shen Yuan’s and stared at him through his lashes. Shen Yuan felt his breath fan against him. “Shizun…”
Suddenly needing air before he could drown, Shen Yuan abruptly turned his heart and yawned loudly. Then he rubbed his eyes, displacing his glasses for good measure. And he laughed nervously, unable to meet Luo Binghe’s eyes. “It’s getting late. We should get some sleep.”
What the fuck. What the fuck was that-!
He tore himself away from Luo Binghe and crawled into his bed. So consumed by his thoughts, he just grunted when Luo Binghe asked if he could stay the night and he didn’t even protest when Luo Binghe slid under the covers and scooted close to him. Not even when Luo Binghe curled against his back and wrapped an arm around his waist. Shen Yuan merely hugged the pillow in his arms tighter and buried his face in it.
However, the proximity put a stopper to his thoughts and the extra heat started lulling him to sleep.
“Shizun?” Luo Binghe whispered, pulling Shen Yuan out of the tides of sleep.
“Hm?”
“This disciple wonders…why did shizun have so many figurines, posters and embroidered pillows in my image-“
Alarmed, Shen Yuan grabbed the pillow he was hugging and smacked it on Luo Binghe’s face, cutting him off. “You saw nothing! Good night, Binghe!”
Then, realizing what he just did to the protagonist, he grabbed another pillow, buried his head under it, curled like a ball on his side and waited for death.
The bed shook with Luo Binghe’s laughter. A moment later, it dipped and Shen Yuan felt him resume his place and hold again. Leave me alone, he wanted to cry. This isn’t the time to be perceptive, Binghe!
“It’s alright. Shizun still has many secrets. This disciple is patient and will wait until you are ready to share them with me,” Luo Binghe whispered against his ear. Shen Yuan pulled the pillow lower until his entire head was covered and he lightly kicked the protagonist’s shin. What human stick, this was worse!
He heard Luo Binghe snicker at his action. Shen Yuan silently raged at the death of his dignity, but even then, the pull of sleep in the embrace of Luo Binghe was too tempting. And Shen Yuan was nothing but mortal flesh and bones. Soon, he finally succumbed to it.
Consciousness slowly returned to him. Sluggishly, he buried his face in his pillow and re-assessed everything. For one, his bed wasn’t the rough and dirty ground of the Water Prison. He was hugging something soft but firm. And he was dry and so fucking warm it was almost enough to lull him back to sleep.
Memories of yesterday swam into his mind. Right. He broke free from his prison then got chased around by a pissed off protagonist. He self-detonated to save said protagonist. A SYSTEM deux ex machina happened before his soul could transfer to his mushroom body. Reverse-isekai. Luo Binghe came with him. They made up. Luo Binghe slept next to him.
Holy fuck. It was a wonder that he survived the last twenty four hours. As wakefulness filtered through his body, one of the first things realized was that the soft but firm thing he was squeezing wasn’t his pillow. In fact, the thing he was lying on wasn’t even a pillow. For one, pillows didn’t move and they sure as hell didn’t beat under his ear.
Shen Yuan’s blurred vision registered red fabric and he quickly pushed himself away. He was - he was lying on Luo Binghe?!
He stared at his hand, horrified. Fucking hell, did he just grope Luo Binghe’s chest?!
Shen Yuan felt faint.
If Xin Mo was here, he would gladly feed himself to it without a fight. Hell, if Luo Binghe knew what Shen Yuan was accidentally doing then he might as well cut his hand off for daring to do this to the protagonist!
He hurriedly tried to untangle himself, afraid of disturbing Luo Binghe who was thankfully still slumbering, when his thigh suddenly pressed against something hard and huge.
Did Luo Binghe bring his demonic sword to Shen Yuan’s bed?!
Shen Yuan shoved his glasses on his face and pushed the covers away. Only to feel his soul ascend and crash down to hell at the same time. His throat dried. His mouth watered.
There it was. The heavenly pillar in all its glory.
Holy fucking hell, how did that thing even fit? Even by his estimate, it was as long as his forearm and thick as a can of beer! Fuck, it might be longer than his head! There was no way that shit wouldn’t hurt - it could easily punch through the cervix and into the stomach lining! What the shit. How did that even fit the tiniest woman in his harem?! And he thought those dragon shaped dildos were terrifying!
Airplane bro, you utter virginal buffoon, why the fuck did you write him like this?! This is too unscientific! Not even the most experienced porn actress can take this without severe repercussions! Or were the women in Proud Immortal Demon Way just built different?
He lit candles in his heart for those flowers.
When Shen Yuan resurfaced from his ranting, he realized that he had been staring way too long at Luo Binghe’s crotch. He flinched away, face flaming redder than cinnabar.
Then he slapped himself.
Shen Yuan, you perverted shit smear. That’s the protagonist - the male stallion protagonist! You don’t ogle someone’s dick like that! You don’t touch his chest without any warning or consent! Especially since he’s your disciple!!! That’s wrong on all levels!
He shot a worried glance at Luo Binghe, only to find him still asleep. In the morning light, he resembled a breathing Romantic painting. Suddenly relieved that his disciple didn’t witness his breakdown and accidental harassment, Shen Yuan stumbled out of the bed, already itching for the strongest liquor and it wasn’t even ten in the morning.
Shen Yuan managed to shove those thoughts about heavenly pillars and heavenly…chests away for good. He made coffee for both of them and then he sat on his couch and savored his first taste of coffee in years.
He did appreciate a well-prepared fragrant and refreshing tea made from the rarest spiritual tea leaves but this was different! This was everything he had been craving from the stress-inducing month before! When he managed to claw his way out of the soil in his mushroom body, he was going to bribe Shang Qinghua into finding those rare coffee beans for him.
It also made him question why he couldn’t exchange points for little things from this world like coffee, instant noodles, iced tea, access to the Internet, hell even KFC. Other transmigration stories allowed it! He just lucked out with his miserly dictator of a SYSTEM.
“Shizun!”
He barely stopped himself from choking on his coffee and accidentally spilling it all over his shirt.
He heard the door to his bedroom slam and hurried footsteps. When he looked up, he saw Luo Binghe gripping the wall. There was a wild and desperate light in his eyes. He was trembling. “Shizun?”
Shen Yuan gulped. Strangely enough, he didn’t feel threatened. “Binghe, what on earth?”
As if a switch had been flicked, Luo Binghe calmed down. It was horrifyingly fascinating to see him tuck his emotions into a genial facade in the blink of an eye. As if nothing was wrong. As if Shen Yuan was just imagining what just happened. And when asked, Luo Binghe would pretend that nothing happened and allude that the other was just seeing things or lying. Everyone around them would side with Luo Binghe. It was a masterful trick, one that would shame the most veteran actors in the industry.
It reminded Shen Yuan of that time he and his whole family went to a famous Sichuan opera house. One of the actors wore a vivid mask, flicking between faces instantaneously with a nod or a shake of his head. It fascinated Shen Yuan so much that he spent hours researching that technique.
That the protagonist could do it with his own face was awe-inspiring.
And Shen Yuan wasn’t one of those single brain cell NPCs. Something definitely set Luo Binghe off.
Luo Binghe approached the couch slowly and touched Shen Yuan’s cheek. Shen Yuan leaned into the touch before he could think better.
“Forgive this disciple. When I woke up and you weren’t there, I thought that everything was a cruel dream.”
The intensity in his gaze had Shen Yuan’s blood thrumming. Unable to bear it, Shen Yuan poked his forehead. “There. You’re not dreaming.”
Luo Binghe cracked a smile. “Thanking shizun.”
Rolling his eyes, Shen Yuan took the second mug from the low table and gave it to Luo Binghe. “Here. This is the most important drink for people in this world. Coffee. Try it.”
Luo Binghe gamely took it. But the face he made when he tasted it made Shen Yuan break into laughter.
However, Luo Binghe stubbornly drank every drop when Shen Yuan asked if he didn’t want it.
Deciding to treat Luo Binghe to the wonders of fast food and to give him a short tour around his neighborhood, Shen Yuan unearthed his little sister’s cosplay makeup and set to hiding the glaring seal on Luo Binghe’s forehead. It took a little longer than he’d like with how distracted he was by Luo Binghe’s staring and his constant touching. Was Luo Binghe really this touchy? Well, Shen Yuan reasoned that with what happened yesterday, Luo Binghe had the right to be a little sticky.
The staring though made Shen Yuan a little self-conscious. He shoved that feeling though. He wasn’t a “plain-faced” flower waiting to be plucked!
With Luo Binghe’s hair smoothed and tied into a low ponytail, dressed in a simple black turtleneck that didn’t hide his wondrous physique, tucked into a pair of grey pants and one of Shen Yuan’s spare shoes, he looked like a rich CEO ML of a manhua. Next to Shen Yuan who was wearing a green printed sweater, jeans and worn sneakers, Luo Binghe could easily be mistaken for a celebrity being accompanied by his assistant.
Even his da-ge didn’t look as good in these clothes and they were his!
Sweet merciful gods and buddhas, they were going to get mobbed if they went to a populated area. Luo Binghe was going to go viral. Given their situation, Shen Yuan didn’t know how that would impact the world or his family once they leave. For a moment, Shen Yuan seriously considered ordering everything they needed and having it delivered here.
But then Luo Binghe held up a hand and beckoned him to the door with excitement in his eyes and Shen Yuan couldn’t bring himself to pop the bubble. They always explored towns and forests together during night hunts back in the days. To Luo Binghe, this was an opportunity to learn more about this world. Denying him that… Shen Yuan didn’t have the heart to do it.
So he mentally crossed his fingers and prepared himself to bat away any suitors with his sneakers if needed. Sorry ladies, there wouldn’t be any transmigrated character x female reader romance under Shen Yuan’s watch!
“Another thing,” Shen Yuan said before he opened the door. “Binghe shouldn’t call me shizun in public. It’s…a term that we don’t use anymore, and I’m only a few years older than you. It might invite some uncomfortable conversation if anyone hears it. And you shouldn’t refer to yourself as my disciple, too.”
Luo Binghe frowned. “They should mind their own business.”
Shen Yuan merely shrugged. “Humor me.”
“Then what should I call you?”
Before Shen Yuan could offer any suggestion, Luo Binghe lit up and said, “Shen-ge?”
Instantly, Shen Yuan wanted to gag. It had been a few years already (in this life) but hearing that brought back memories of his er-ge’s ex-girlfriend. The crazy religious one who wanted to straighten er-ge out of his “bad boy” image. She used to say it in a tone that made him and his younger sister go into fight or flight mode. No.
“No,” Shen Yuan replied. He shuddered.
A hint of darkness crossed Luo Binghe’s eyes but it was gone the next second. Luo Binghe, with a gentle and teasing grin, offered, “Gege? Yuan-gege?”
Shen Yuan’s poor overworked heart skipped a beat and started thrumming harder than a Seven-Eyed Silver Hummingbird’s wings. His cheeks heated. He was already regretting everything he said but it was too late. “Do as you wish.”
They took the elevator down and he had to hold Luo Binghe’s hand when they exited the building just in case he got lost in the morning crowd. Luo Binghe made an excellent effort not to gawk at everything, the sharp lines of the high rise buildings, the cars and trucks, the strange clothing. He clung to Shen Yuan’s hand as they made their way on the nearest fast food chain just two blocks away.
Already, people were stumbling into each other as Luo Binghe passed by them. Some were trying to discreetly take pictures of him until Shen Yuan purposefully ruined their shots.
Shen Yuan mentally face palmed. The halo of a stallion protagonist was really unmatched! He should have made him wear sunglasses and a face mask!
They got inside the fast food chain without anyone asking for Luo Binghe’s number. Yet. But the people in line were craning their heads in their direction. Even the young man at the counter was blushing and stuttering when he took their orders.
As someone who raised this peerlessly handsome, amazing and beautiful young man, Shen Yuan wanted to preen in pride. As someone who was hungry and didn’t want others to bother Luo Binghe, he was getting annoyed. He dragged Luo Binghe to a more secluded booth, making sure that his back was to the rest of the place so no one could stealthily take pictures of him without consent.
When they got seated, Shen Yuan noticed a gaggle of teenage girls no older than his little sister. They were pointing at Luo Binghe and giggling loudly. He heard one trying to push her friend to ask for Luo Binghe’s number.
Shen Yuan held the girls’ stare and blocked their cameras with his hand over Luo Binghe’s face. He mouthed, “back off” with a final glower. When he turned to Luo Binghe, Luo Binghe was giving him a rather strange expression.
“What?” Shen Yuan grumbled, too pissed to even maintain his cool immortal master persona. “You’re too fucking pretty to ignore. In fact, you’re prettier than the top actress right now so people will be hounding us for photos! Next time, we’re not leaving without covering your face. I swear, if you go viral because people don’t know to mind their own business, I’m suing their asses.”
If Luo Binghe was shocked by his crassness, he made a valiant effort not to show it. Instead, he merely smiled, a devastating one that would kill anyone who witnessed it. His cheeks were tinged with pink. “Yuan-gege is fearsome.”
Shen Yuan plucked a fry and shoved it in the direction of Luo Binghe’s mouth. “Quiet.”
Still blushing, Luo Binghe shyly bit the fry, his lips touching Shen Yuan’s fingertips. The tip of his tongue touched Shen Yuan’s skin. Electricity surged on the point of contact. Shen Yuan snatched his hand away and bit into his burger with more vengeance. Miraculously, no one bothered them after that.
The moment was ruined when Luo Binghe made an incredulous sound when he bit into his food. He shot Shen Yuan a look of despair. “Yuan-gege, why?”
Knowing that Luo Binghe was judging his shitty food choices, Shen Yuan hummed noncommittally. “Welcome to the modern world, Binghe.”
He turned a deaf ear on Luo Binghe’s promises on making a better and healthier one for him when they get back and munched on his heart failure-inducing food in peace. Luo Binghe begrudgingly ate his but the pout stayed on his face.
It only disappeared when Shen Yuan, in an act of great pettiness, told Luo Binghe to smile as he shot a selfie of them.
After that, they made a short trip to the park where they got accosted by no less than seven scouting agents (where the fuck did they even come from?), people who begged to get Luo Binghe’s photo because they thought he was a celebrity, and a handful of brave people who tried to ask him out for a date. Shen Yuan shooed them all, and even Luo Binghe donned on a menacing aura just to get them to stop.
They stopped by the small milk tea shop that Shen Yuan frequented and ordered his favorite. Luo Binghe, aggrieved and wary of Shen Yuan’s food choices, took his share without a word of complaint. Shen Yuan shot a photo of him standing on the street and drinking his matcha milk tea. He quickly set it as his lock screen and wept in his heart that he couldn’t bring his phone back with him.
They made their way to the closest supermarket and started stocking Shen Yuan’s pantry. He had to hold Luo Binghe’s hand again before he lost him in the aisles, with the way the younger man was eyeing the spice and produce section with hearts in his eyes.
Unfortunately, Shen Yuan had to break his heart and steer him away from the loves of his life. To make up for it, he let Luo Binghe choose the meat and other ingredients he needed.
However, the moment Shen Yuan grabbed a fewl bags of his favorite junk food, Luo Binghe asked, “Yuan-gege, what are those?”
Still bent on teasing Luo Binghe on his newfound hatred for junk food, Shen Yuan quipped, “The unhealthiest shit known to man- hey!”
They were quickly snatched from his hand. Shen Yuan squawked and tried to reach for the bag of chips. Luo Binghe held it further out of reach.
“Binghe, what the hell-“
Luo Binghe shook his head, contrite. “No. Gege, whatever this is, I can make it better. You don’t need to eat this and endanger your health further-“
“Oh my god. Let an old man have his vices!” He successfully snatched it back. Holding his precious cargo close to his chest, Shen Yuan couldn’t help the mulish jut of lips when he said, “I won’t be able to eat this again. Why won’t Binghe let me indulge?”
Luo Binghe stood still. Mouth open. Dazed.
Shen Yuan, realizing that he used the spoiled tone he only reserved for convincing his overbearing older brothers, turned red. He tossed everything back into the cart and nonchalantly went along his way. The salesperson who was obviously eavesdropping on their conversation scuttled away from Shen Yuan’s path.
Nope. Nope, nope. Shen Qingqiu mode on! Just because he was Shen Yuan now didn’t mean that he could act like a spoiled fuerdai in front of the protagonist!
Luo Binghe ran after him but he remained quiet. He didn’t protest when Shen Yuan took a bottle of baijiu and they largely ignored the glances and giggles directed in their direction as they paid for their purchases.
They got back to Shen Yuan’s apartment without any more incidents. Shen Yuan was, shamefully, a little winded from all that walking. The miracles of cultivation and being physically fit, he lamented. He could run up and down the stairs of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect a dozen times and run a hundred laps around his peak without breaking a sweat! Now his frail mortal body couldn’t take a morning of walking without feeling sore.
So Shen Yuan sat on the chair and watched Luo Binghe excitedly flit around the kitchen. He calmly directed him where to place each item and instructed him how to use each appliance. Then, like a duck to water, Luo Binghe got the hang of everything and Shen Yuan was treated to the sight of Luo Binghe preparing their meals like a professional chef from an acclaimed five star restaurant. He couldn’t help but admire Luo Binghe’s profile as the other man cooked.
The rolled up sleeves, the precision of his knife, the confidence. No wonder women fell for guys who can cook. This was performance art!
The heavenly smell of their lunch wafted in the air. Shen Yuan’s stomach grumbled. Luo Binghe served them to him with relish and he made sure to place the choice cuts on Shen Yuan’s bowl.
“Binghe’s is always better,” Shen Yuan told him after the first bite. Flavors exploded in his tongue in a way that no one else could ever replicate. “The best I’ve ever tasted in both lives.”
Luo Binghe’s grin and demurred response shamed the stars, the sun and the moon. As if he just won a contest. Shen Yuan sighed, terribly fond. One day, this white sheep of his would outgrew his need to impress him. Until that day, He would treasure these moments and make sure that Luo Binghe wouldn’t fall like the original one did. Even if he had to redirect a river’s course with his bare hands.
With nothing else to do for the rest of the day, Shen Yuan decided to have a movie marathon.
He set up the couch, grabbed his junk food (ignored Luo Binghe’s side eye), the soft drinks and baijiu. After explaining what a TV was and how this whole shit worked, he chose the first movie. It was a popular Xianxia movie with a love story that drove people insane. All the time, Shen Yuan was more distracted watching Luo Binghe’s expressions than the movie. Then he put on the second, and third. Unfortunately for everyone, the more he got comfortable watching, the more his tongue loosened.
He started criticizing the movies’ plot holes before he could stop himself. Luo Binghe, who was immersed in the movie, would fondly entertain Shen Yuan’s comments. But Shen Yuan held back from the spoilers. It was fun, he realized. His siblings would try to stop him from blurting his thoughts. The protagonist, however, indulged his little rants and even offered his own insights.
Everything shifted when he put on a horror movie.
Shen Yuan, who lived through a horror-like chase, barely reacted when the ghost appeared on the screen in a jumpscare, but Luo Binghe flinched and made to draw his sword even if it wasn’t on his person. Shen Yuan quickly slung his sock clad feet on Luo Binghe’s lap to stop him from moving and spilling his potato chips all over them.
“You know that it’s not real, right?” He cooed, petting Luo Binghe’s head. He pulled Luo Binghe into his arms. “Don’t be scared, shizun is here.”
Luo Binghe refused to stop the movie but stayed curled in his arms. Shen Yuan felt bad. He didn’t know that horror movies would affect Luo Binghe that much!
Their little marathon ran until midnight. Shen Yuan could barely keep his eyes open. The alcohol loosened his tongue and all his senses. He was still grumbling about the cliche ending of the last movie when Luo Binghe carried him to bed despite his protests.
Curled on Luo Binghe’s side so the protagonist wouldn’t get scared of vengeful nuns, Shen Yuan counted this day as a success.
Ping!
[System Message:
63% complete
Repairs and updates are underway to keep things running smoothly. Basic operations like answering the Esteemed Host’s questions are now available. However, the Point System function is still suspended until further notice. Please stay tuned, Esteemed Host!]
Ping!
[Esteemed Host and the Protagonist Plus One still have thirty-six hours remaining! Please enjoy the rest of your time in this filler event!]
Notes:
Writing note:
* Face-changing technique = Bian LianMini lbh thoughts here haha:
lbh was definitely NOT FINE AT ALL but he didn’t want sy to be bothered by his issues. only that he couldn’t handle it by himself so to his shizun’s arms he went. also, now that he and sy are of one hearts (unconfirmed), he’s willing to accept sy’s eccentricities. sy has many plushies with his face? sy probably foresaw him before he met him 🥺
lbh stopped sleeping in sqq’s bed because he popped a boner once and almost died right then and there. good thing sqq was in a heavy slumber so he didn’t notice it.
lbh, seeing the state of sy’s pantry and after finding out that he eats junk food when left alone: shizun please, plEASE, PLEASE eat your veggies 😭😭😭
and lbh must be fighting his inner demons 1000x harder now that he sees sy being like this. soft. open. cuddly. pretty. and his shizun’s bare legs and SO MUCH SKIN casually on display. the cold air from the ac made his nip nops visible! xin mo is nothing but a tiny ant bite compared to this torture
he also gets a mini heart attack every time his proper shizun swears. like it’s hot? but shizun? 😭
also, sy, lbh would thank you for honking his titty. why else would he have them? please start acting on your impulse more.
you bet your asses that lbh started planning their wedding the moment sy let him call him “yuan-gege.” he’s so ready to be malewifed, your honor
and go, binghe, use the “i’m scared so please let me cling to you” trope. we support you.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Chapter 4: fuck it if i can't have him
Notes:
this was supposed to be one chapter but it was getting out of hand so i decided to chop it in half. hopefully, this word count is final.
also, massive thanks to everyone who commented last chapter. i may not be able to reply all the time but please know that i appreciate all of them.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
When the third day arrived, it brought with it the mountain of nerves which gnawed on Shen Yuan’s stomach like a massive pile of tunnelling earthworms. He woke early despite his hungover and spent hours waiting if the incident with Luo Binghe yesterday went viral but whatever bullshit the SYSTEM pulled to keep them out of the hot search, he was begrudgingly grateful to it.
In order to distract himself, he watched Luo Binghe clean his apartment with the kind of meticulousness that was enviable.
Aside from his prowess in all sorts of areas in life, one of the things that set Luo Binghe apart from the other stallion protagonist was his penchant for domesticity. It had been a massive hit especially for the female readers. They swooned in the comment sections, wishing that they had partners who knew how to cook and clean like Luo Binghe did.
Back then, Shen Yuan surmised that maybe this was a result from his longing for a happy and peaceful family that had been ripped away from him too soon with the death of his adopted mother. However, he never managed to have that kind of household. With the infighting in his harem, the plots of killing his children left and right, that would be enough to drive a man insane!
Which was why Shen Yuan had been heavily dropping hints of the kind of women his protagonist should marry like he was one of his grandmothers. Quality over quantity! If his heart flipped every time he mentioned it, Shen Yuan ignored it and lamented that his white sheep is grown up now and soon, he’d be flying the nest and making his own nest with others.
While Airplane only explored that area in relation to Luo Binghe wooing his flower(s) of the arc and in filler chapters, as the major recipient (for now), Shen Yuan sometimes had the horrifying thought that Luo Binghe would thrive in a slice of life webnovels featuring himself as a doting domestic househusband.
The thought was blasphemous - this was the protagonist who was destined to unite the three realms! But why would Shen Yuan think otherwise when Luo Binghe was smiling and humming happily to himself while vacuuming the floor of Shen Yuan’s apartment? While he was having fun doing laundry in the washing machine just as much as he did learning sword forms?
No one would suspect that he was hiding a black belly underneath!
In fact, he was more efficient than the Shen family’s small army of household staff! Granted, his apartment was barely a dent on his family’s mansion, but it didn’t matter! If there was a god of domesticity, Luo Binghe would have challenged him and won.
In fact, he wouldn’t have a problem winning over the snobbiest in-laws of future wives if they see him doing chores their daughter wouldn’t even pick up and eat his cooking! What a reliable and responsible man.
Now, Shen Yuan was honestly thinking that this might be Luo Binghe’s genuine love language to the people he cared about, and not just a ploy to woo a strong boss-girl who didn’t need a man.
Whoever Luo Binghe choose in the end was going to be so fucking lucky. All the young masters his age didn’t even know how to chop a cucumber!
Not to mention that he seemed to be eyeing the household cleaning tools as if he wanted to reverse engineer every single one of them. He only deflated when Shen Yuan explained electricity and modern engineering, something that wouldn’t be easy to replicate in their world since they didn’t have any. But the gleam in Luo Binghe’s eyes said that it wouldn’t stop him.
Ah. This genius little lotus of his.
However, it was a good distraction since Luo Binghe never brought up the merchs again. Not even Shen Yuan’s arsenal of bullshit and being a poser could squirrel him out of that corner. And nothing short of explaining Proud Immortal Demon Way (which his SYSTEM marked as OFF-LIMITS on his user profile) could save his ass.
Thinking of the SYSTEM, Shen Yuan prodded it.
Hey, SYSTEM.
[Hello, Esteemed Host! How may we help you?]
What’s going to happen to this world when the filler event is over?
[Answering the host. The three days will be deleted and reset. Everything will go back to what it was before.]
The finger that was hovering on his family’s group chat paused. Shen Yuan quickly exited the app, the courage he’d been building crashed. What would be the point of going through the awkward “how are you’s” and “fine, thank you’s”?
His family would clock that something was wrong and they would send someone to his apartment instantly. Shen Yuan never initiated that kind of thing in the group chat. His er-ge used to say that unless messaged Shen Yuan first, Shen Yuan would be content in his isolation. While it would be funny if Luo Binghe met his family, dealing with that kind of drama on their last day here wasn’t something that Shen Yuan planned to do. Selfish as it was. Especially since his family wouldn’t even remember any of it happening.
Let them live in ignorance. For their sakes.
On the other hand, no matter what he and Luo Binghe did now, it wouldn’t have an impact on this world. They could pull the wildest shit and go on a heist if they wanted and no one would even remember.
What’s the reward for completing the event?
A barrage of points listed on the screen almost blinded Shen Yuan. He baulked and suppressed the screech making its way out of his mouth. There were so many points for such a low-stake event!
Fuck your mother and your father, he didn’t even receive half as much when he completed major events! When he pushed Luo Binghe to the abyss! Where was the fucking justice?!
[Answering the host, this event is tied to successfully ensuring both of you and the protagonist’s happy ending.]
Shen Yuan felt an incoming migraine in his temples.
[In addition, the SYSTEM’s “Vending Machine Function Version 1” will be unlocked. The host will also be able to access “Bring Three Items For Luck” where the host can choose three items from this world to bring to his crossover. As an incentive, the protagonist can also choose to “Bring Three Items For Luck.”]
Drawn by the first function, Shen Yuan hurriedly clicked the description of the “Vending Machine Function Version 1” and went through the options available to him. The urge to violently beat someone floored him. Shen Yuan didn’t know if he wanted to celebrate or break into the SYSTEM’s headquarters and fist fight them. After all this time? Were they for real?
His gaze returned to Luo Binghe who was now dusting the photos that hung on the wall. Their stay here brought back the innocent version of his disciple that Shen Yuan thought had long died. In fact, Luo Binghe looked happy and content. For a moment, Shen Yuan selfishly wanted to keep him like that for a little more. After the shit he went through in the abyss, Luo Binghe deserved more than a few days of being carefree. There was no doubt that with Shen Yuan out of commission, Luo Binghe would be the only one dealing with the fallout back in their world.
There were a lot of places he wanted to bring Luo Binghe to but unfortunately, a lot of them were closed today.
He turned back to the SYSTEM interface and asked:
Is there any option to extend our stay?
[We apologize to the host. The “Three Days in Heaven” Filler Event cannot be extended.]
Shen Yuan closed the interface with a defeated sigh. It must be loud because Luo Binghe turned around and asked him if something was wrong.
Shen Yuan shook his head with a tired smile. “Nothing. Since this is our last day here we should go to the mall later. That’s a place where you can buy a lot of stuff, eat and hang out.”
Luo Binghe lowered the duster, the sweet concern on his face faltered. “Oh? Is this mall this world’s equivalent of the markets you love to visit?”
Shen Yuan felt too seen by this perceptive disciple of his. Browsing the markets was like experiencing the culture, ah! “Kind of? It’s a huge establishment with a few floors and there are stores inside it. You can buy food and hang out with your friends in there. There’s also an arcade - a place where you can play games and win prizes. You can also get something to take with you when we get back.”
Now, Luo Binghe looked interested. “And what am I allowed to take with me, Yuan-gege?”
When he said this, his eyes briefly dropped to the vacuum. Shen Yuan mentally facepalmed. “Anything you want except for the appliances here, Binghe. You know that they won’t work.”
“Oh.”
The disappointment was palpable. Shen Yuan couldn’t stop snickering at him. He resisted the urge to pet his fluffy hair and coo. That would be too patronizing and the protagonist was no longer a kid.
“You should decide on three things only. We have until tonight.” Shen Yuan slapped his thighs as he got up from the couch and went to hunt down his car keys.
“We’ll be taking my car!” Shen Yuan called out behind him. Luo Binghe was still standing in the same spot, lost in thought.
Shen Yuan might end up biting more than he could chew on using his car to get to the mall. For one, it had been years since he drove it. While he didn’t have qualms about using public transport, the incident yesterday proved that they would get delayed and would be stuck with other people who might get ideas with Luo Binghe. Even if they wouldn’t remember it after the filler event concluded, the fact that they bothered Luo Binghe also bothered Shen Yuan!
Okay, so they were going to the place where there was a shit ton of people. However, they wouldn’t be stuck in one place and they could just book it if anyone whipped their phones in their faces. Besides, with a black face mask and a cap, Luo Binghe’s supermodel aura dimmed a little and he blended much better than he did yesterday. As long as no one looked too hard in his direction, they were safe.
Luo Binghe eyed the sleek silver car like it was a shiny and fascinating beast. Shen Yuan pulled the passenger door open for him before he went to the driver’s seat and buckled both of their seatbelts in. His dashboard was empty of decorations because his little sister bullied him and called him a loser for putting any Luo Binghe decoration. He wished he could hug her for her foresight.
Shen Yuan took a deep breath and prayed to his ancestors for this to work.
Well. If this didn’t work out then they could do with the public transport. Shen Yuan could deal with being humbled as long as he didn’t crash them into a pole!
Thankfully, his muscle memory kicked in and he was able to pull out of the apartment’s garage and into the streets without incident. Luo Binghe, ever the trooper, didn’t flinch. He looked fascinated as he tested Shen Yuan’s knowledge about the vehicle.
If only Luo Binghe wasn’t boring a hole on his face the entire ride. Was there something on his face? He checked the rearview mirror. Nothing. But the intense staring was getting a little distracting.
Binghe, ah. What’s the point of showing you my world if you’re not even looking?
“Binghe,” Shen Yuan said gently, “What are you doing?”
Even with the mask, Shen Yuan knew that Luo Binghe was smiling.
“This one is admiring you,” Luo Binghe replied without any ounce of hesitation or shame. “And memorizing you.”
Shen Yuan’s hands tightened around the steering wheel as he valiantly fought back the flush threatening to break out. Good god, he kept forgetting how easy it was for him to turn red in this body. Shen Qingqiu used to have so much control on his physical reactions!
Damn it. He should have worn a face mask, too!
Also, why was Luo Binghe using a harem master pick-up line? There was no maiden here for him to charm.
“Binghe should look around and enjoy the view,” Shen Yuan retorted.
“But Yuan-gege,” and was that a fucking teasing lilt on this shameless disciple’s tone? Shen Yuan blushed. Fuck.
“Yuan-gege is the only view this one needs to see.”
It was only due to the protagonist’s still active halo that Shen Yuan managed to keep the car from swerving. Heart struggling to rip itself out of his ribcage and cheeks redder than chili peppers, Shen Yuan said hotly, “Stop distracting me! Eyes on the road!”
Luo Binghe chuckled, low and warm. It sent a warm squirming sensation in Shen Yuan’s chest. Damn, that baijiu was still affecting him.
“As Yuan-gege says.”
Shen Yuan suffered the ensuing silence with his dignity cracked but he bore Luo Binghe’s furtive glances in his direction quietly. They passed by a giant billboard of some pretty A-list actress who was scandalously showing a lot of skin but Luo Binghe’s eyes were glued on him.
He couldn’t bear it anymore. When they got stuck in traffic, Shen Yuan covered his eyes with his hand.
Luo Binghe gently took his hand away and placed their hands on his lap. “Why is Yuan-gege insisting on keeping the best view from this one?”
Shen Yuan inhaled deeply and fixed him a deadpan look. “Haha. I’m serious, Binghe.”
The spoiled brat of a protagonist whined, “Yuan-gege is mean.”
Shen Yuan was now deeply regretting allowing this little brat to call him “Yuan-gege.” He should have stuck with “Shen-laoshi!”
Shen Yuan pulled his hand out of Luo. Binghe’s hold and flicked his forehead. “Stop whining. We’re already stuck in traffic, if you keep whining then I’ll pinch your perfect nose.”
Luo Binghe pouted at him. They lapsed into silence which only lasted for a minute before he said, “Yuan-gege could tell me things about himself to pass the time.”
Shen Yuan scoffed. “I’m not that interesting.”
“On the contrary, you are the most interesting person I’ve ever met.”
At that, Shen Yuan rolled his eyes. “Right. Luo Binghe surely met the oldest of demons, the most powerful cultivators, seen places no other would dare to thread and beheld treasures most people die before knowing. But he finds the most boring salted fish to be the most interesting?”
“And none of them matters to me the way that you do. One can easily find those people and those things if you know where to look. But there’s only one Shen Yuan.”
Shen Yuan choked on his spit. He battered away Luo Binghe’s hands as he cried out, “Binghe! Oh fucking hell. Stop putting so much importance on your old master. Look, I may be important to you now but in the future…you’ll find someone who you’ll cherish more so-“
Luo Binghe suddenly gripped one of Shen Yuan’s flailing hands. He suddenly pressed it against his chest - right on top of the scar Shen Yuan marked him with - and spoke without any humor, “Yuan-gege can point this Binghe to that person so I can challenge them to a duel to death.”
Shen Yuan opened his mouth. Then closed it. He stared at Luo Binghe as if he’d grown two more arms and a tail. His brain bluescreened as he tried to make sense of the shit Luo Binghe just spouted.
Duel to death?! Luo Binghe, are you out of your mind? You don’t say that to any of your future wives! Besides, you’re overestimating my importance to you. What is a master - disciple relationship to a husband - wife relationship? I won’t even dare be a lightbulb in your romantic relationships!
He could only manage a weak, “What?”
Luo Binghe looked at him with exasperation. “To prove to you that no one else can take your place.”
What place? His place as Luo Binghe’s master? Of course no one could take that. Meng Mo could fucking cry about it. What in the fucking world.
“Binghe, that’s not-“
“Yes it is. But Yuan-gege just won’t see it.” Luo Binghe let Shen Yuan’s hand go. He slumped back on his seat and turned to gaze outside the window.
The sad resignation in his eyes confused Shen Yuan. At loss, and left with the feeling of being unmoored, Shen Yuan shut up and let the topic die. They sat in awkward silence.
Fine then. This petulant disciple of his could stew on his decision but Shen Yuan knew that despite his stubbornness, Luo Binghe would regret his words. Someday, he would introduce his wife to Shen Yuan and Shen Yuan would perform his duty of teasing Luo Binghe about his words today.
He ignored the heaviness in his stomach at the idea and glanced at Luo Binghe’s direction again. When there was no response, Shen Yuan sighed and cut the silence himself. Luo Binghe wanted to know some things about him? Fine.
“I never liked the meals at Qing Jing peak. The cooks don’t know what spice is even if it bites them in the ass and I think that they always mistake us for being ascetics.”
His griping caught Luo Binghe’s attention. Shen Yuan continued, “Do you think that they’d mistake me for the Peak Lord of Ku Xing Peak if I shaved my head?”
The sound that broke out of Luo Binghe was a mix of a laugh and a choke.
“No wonder the original Shen Qingqiu was an outright bitch. Imagine having that bland, tasteless sludge everyday and not going insane?”
Luo Binghe made that sound again. He looked at Shen Yuan as if he was a wonder but something pensive crossed his face. He asked, in a hesitant tone, “Do you think that he would’ve liked me better if I made him sweets?”
The sudden urge to say “No!” like a spoiled kid being told that he had to share his food suddenly appeared. Shen Yuan stomped that irrational urge down. What right did he have to hoard Luo Binghe’s home-cooked meals? He cleared his throat. But also, why the fuck would the original goods deserve Luo Binghe’s heaven-sent cooking after treating him like that? Knowing that this was a sensitive topic, Shen Yuan could only choose his words carefully and honestly. “I…forgive me, Binghe. I honestly don’t know but for your sake, I’d like to hold out hope. But would Binghe be willing if given the chance?”
It took Luo Binghe a few seconds (which dragged on longer for Shen Yuan) to say, “There’s no use in wondering now. This one doubts that Shen-shifu would even entertain or look at my food. Unlike Yuan-gege.”
Shen Yuan bit down the urge to preen because he was a horrible person. It was the original goods’ loss. “His loss. Binghe’s food should be reserved to those who cares for him. Hard work must always be appreciated, not taken for granted. And Binghe’s worth shouldn’t just be in his cooking. He should be cared for and appreciated for who he is.”
“As Yuan-gege says.”
Shen Yuan turned away before he could see the wetness in Luo Binghe’s eyes. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel.
“I don’t really have a favorite color but I don’t mind green.” Like that wasn’t hard to guess. Shen Yuan rarely wore any other colors even in this life. Gripe as he might, Shen Qingqiu’s wardrobe was one of the things that he didn’t question.
“And I guess I like to read,” he finished lamely.
“Oh? What kind of books do you like?”
Shen Yuan shrugged. “Anything that’s interesting. I do like learning new things from the rare tomes and scrolls - particularly the bestiaries. For stories, I prefer a good plot, amazing characterization, lore and world building.”
In his heart, Shen Yuan lamented the wasted potential that was Proud Immortal Demon Way. Those were the things that the summary promised to him but thousands of chapters later, he was left grappling with Shang Qinghua’s motherfucking pandering.
“How about romance? Is Yuan-gege not interested?”
Shen Yuan shrugged. “It’s not a requirement.”
What romance? What Airplane did in his novel was a disgrace to the genre! He’d rather pick up his younger sister’s stash of danmei if he wanted a world-shaking romance and a degree in yearning!
“What kind of characters do you like the best?”
What was this? A pop quiz? Shen Yuan felt like he was being interrogated but he let it slide.
“The complex ones,” he told Luo Binghe honestly. “The characters who were raised in unfortunate circumstances but conquered the odds in spite of everything. They shouldn’t be strictly good people who’d never make mistakes because they’d end up being one-dimensional with no room for character development! They must also be intelligent, charismatic, strategic, decisive and ruthless. Especially in pursuing what they want.”
Shen Yuan’s throat was suddenly dry. Luo Binghe’s stare was molten and dark. Shen Yuan chuckled nervously and added, “Well. Being a little overpowered wouldn’t hurt, too. It depends on the story!”
Whew. So he pretty much summed up some of Luo Binghe’s compelling traits in the novel. So what? It wasn’t like Luo Binghe would know!
The air in the car was suddenly stifling. Shen Yuan cranked up the air conditioner.
“Then I will find all the rarest novels and bestiaries for Yuan-gege to read,” Luo Binghe vowed, as easy as breathing.
Shen Yuan shook his head fondly. He wouldn’t dare say no. Once Luo Binghe’s mind was made up, it was better to just go with it. Besides, Shen Yuan would get something out of it so he wasn’t complaining.
The line started moving again. Shen Yuan started the car again and put on some music. The first line of the number one trending romantic ballad popped up. Fucking hell.
Shen Yuan opened the car door for Luo Binghe to get out. Instantly, he saw a few girls’ heads swivel in their direction but after a short pause, they went on their way without ambushing them. Thank god.
He took Luo Binghe’s hand as they made their way towards the entrance. Shen Yuan squeezed his fingers gently and said, “We should take a look around and see if there’s something that catches your eye. Whatever you want.”
Luo Binghe squeezed his hand, too, in response. “Yuan-gege spoils me too much.”
“Binghe deserves to be spoiled. Besides, I know you love being spoiled. Stop acting coy.” Shen Yuan ignored the flustered whine.
He steered Luo Binghe away from the stalls with silver-tongued and hawk-eyed shop assistants who would try their damnedest to sell them something. They entered one or two stores to look around but Luo Binghe was largely uninterested in what they were offering. Although, he turned redder and hurried away from a lingerie store. Shen Yuan unhelpfully laughed at him but let himself be tugged along.
He showed a tiny interest in a stall selling charms but he moved away after a few minutes. Shen Yuan was content to just walk with him, although he kept hinting on some stuff Luo Binghe could be interested in. A part of him was dying to dress Luo Binghe and have him model clothes but it might invite more attention. And Luo Binghe had gently turned him down, saying that Shen Yuan didn’t need to waste his money on things Luo Binghe didn’t need.
The first floor of the mall had a small courtyard with a towering fountain. It was a popular spot for all the mall-goers.
A lot of people milled around it. Families with their kids, couples, and teens who were filming some TikTok dance. A couple of food stalls were stationed around it. They were walking around it when Shen Yuan spotted a young couple who were taking pictures. The young woman was holding a large bouquet of red roses and a teddy bear as she posed with a finger heart. Suddenly, her boyfriend dropped on one knee. Their friends hurriedly unrolled the sign that said “Will you make me the most blessed man in the world and marry me?”
Shen Yuan stopped walking. He patted Luo Binghe’s arm and whispered excitedly. “Binghe, look! He’s asking her to marry him!”
He watched as the young man popped open the ring and began his speech. Unfortunately they were too far away to hear him but whatever he said was touching. The young woman threw her bouquet and teddy bear to the ground and tackled the young man, screaming, “Yes! Yes, I do! I’ll marry you!”
The crowd that formed around them clapped and cheered.
After a minute of crying, the couple righted themselves. The young man resumed his pose and slid the ring on her finger.
Shen Yuan couldn’t help smiling despite the mouthful of dog food the young couple were giving everyone in the vicinity. Ah, young love. What a fortuitous time he and Binghe chose to come here!
“This is…this is your world’s tradition for marriage proposals?” Luo Binghe asked. He looked intrigued and he was still watching the couple even as the crowd dispersed.
Shen Yuan couldn’t blame Luo Binghe’s ignorance. Proud Immortal Demon Way was set in a fictional Ancient China, and despite the massive inaccuracies, Airplane mainly stuck with the traditional wedding ceremonies. During one of their excursions together, Shang Qinghua confessed that introducing the Western engagement and wedding traditions would complicate things. Luo Binghe was a stallion harem master - he shouldn’t get tied with one woman only!
All the women in his harem were married to him and they swore loyalty and devotion to him. Luo Binghe only swore to give them a good life and take care of them. He was their husband, master and emperor but they weren’t made equal to him.
Shaking his head, Shen Yuan urged him to continue walking. Then he reverted to his shizun mode and said, “That’s how us men typically do it in several parts of this world. We buy a ring for our ladies - the bigger and more expensive the diamond, the better. The ring symbolizes commitment and devotion to them since the ring is circular. It has no beginning or end. Then the man plans how he’s going to ask his lady. When the time comes, man kneels down to show respect to his future bride. If he’s lucky, she’d say yes and they’ll plan their wedding together.”
Luo Binghe nodded slowly. “So that’s why…”
Shen Yuan shrugged. “It’s quite romantic. Maybe Binghe can adopt that tradition for his future wife? This master can help you plan your proposal.”
Luo Binghe merely hummed noncommittally. “Does Yuan-gege want to have a proposal like that?
Shen Yuan blanched. “Not in front of so many people!”
It wasn’t even just for the proposal but he’d also prefer a very small private wedding! But talks of his marital status left no effect on Shen Yuan. He was resolved to die alone in this life.
As Shen Qingqiu, all the eligible ladies were off-limits. He was resigned to a life of eternal bachelorhood, but as long as he had all his limbs and he could resume living like a salted fish while occasionally exploring the world then it wasn’t a waste of a second life.
Luo Binghe chuckled. “Of course. This one shall take notes. Are there any more wedding traditions that I must know?”
Shen Yuan continued his lecture. “The wedding traditions depend on their religion or which culture the couple came from. If they want a modern wedding, the couple will exchange vows and also exchange wedding rings. These rings are usually simpler bands but they can be elaborate.”
“So two people aren’t married unless they are wearing these rings?”
Shen Yuan shook his head. “You need to have paperwork to prove that you’re married. The rings are symbols. But you’d know if someone is off the market if they’re wearing an engagement ring or a wedding ring.”
Once they completed circling the ground floor and calling it a bust. Shen Yuan tugged him to the escalator, snickering at Luo Binghe’s mild panic and how he clung to him. So cute. It brought him back to Luo Binghe’s first time using Zheng Yang to fly!
They ambled their way through the second floor. Luo Binghe didn’t shake off his pensive mood and was quiet the whole time. Shen Yuan was starting to lose hope for their token hunt when Luo Binghe suddenly stopped dead cold.
“Is this where you buy jewelry, Yuan-gege?”
Shen Yuan blinked at the store’s name. It was a popular luxury brand. “Yes. Does Binghe want to get one?”
It was an unexpected request. Luo Binghe wasn’t one for jewelry. He was only interested in them if they held important powers or to woo his women. Beyond the crown, the signet ring, the vambraces, the belt, he never wore one. But Shen Yuan was in an indulgent mood today so he didn’t question it. His protagonist should be dripped to the teeth if he wanted to!
Luo Binghe nodded shyly. “If Yuan-gege doesn’t mind.”
“Why would I? Come on, my treat.” He tugged Luo Binghe inside the store where they were greeted warmly by the shop assistants with their wan customer-service smiles.
He waved them off with a quick, “We’re still looking.”
When they left them alone, Shen Yuan whispered, “What kind of jewelry are you looking for? Unfortunately, the ones we have in this world don’t hold any powers.”
Luo Binghe turned away from a diamond encrusted choker and said, “This one is looking for a ring.”
Shen Yuan blinked at him. Then realization hit him. Of course, the proposal from earlier! Luo Binghe would take an interest in it. But wasn’t it too early to look for a ring when you didn’t have a specific bride in mind? Never mind an engagement ring, even a wedding ring was too much and too soon!
“Why does Binghe need a ring?”
Or was Shen Yuan too busy being in his head to realize that Luo Binghe had been wooing someone else? Good gods and buddhas above, he hoped it wasn’t Xiao Gongzhu or Shen Yuan might just cry in the middle of the store!
Luo Binghe nodded, his eyes smiled. “Yes. A ring. No, two rings for you and I. That’s the token I want.”
At loss for the second time this day, Shen Yuan could only gawk at him. What the hell was going on in Luo Binghe’s head these days? Why did he equate the very romantic proposal between two lovers with the two of them?
“I- I don’t need a ring,” Shen Yuan stammered. His eyes wandered desperately all over the stores. “Binghe, look. You can buy one for your future wife, instead -“
Luo Binghe grabbed his hand and squeezed gently, bringing Shen Yuan’s attention back to him. His eyes implored him with a sense of desperation that made Shen Yuan ached even if he didn’t understand the reason.
“There is no future wife. Not without you.” Luo Binghe looked at him through his lashes, eyes turning glassy. “Yuan-gege, please.”
Why must Luo Binghe even depend on him for his marital prospects?! It didn’t make sense in Shen Yuan’s worldview. But their conversation was starting to draw the attention of everyone in the store and his thin face couldn’t handle it anymore.
You know what? Fine. Maybe he was too dumb to understand Luo Binghe’s mental gymnastics. He better give in before Luo Binghe turned on the waterworks.
Also, only Shang Qinghua would know the meaning behind these rings and he wouldn’t dare tease him in front of the protagonist. Shen Yuan would set him straight before he could!
Shen Yuan heaved a deep breath, closed his eyes and said, “Fine. As a promise ring. To find each other again.”
“A promise to each other,” Luo Binghe intoned. “That nothing can separate us. In life or death.”
That sounds so wrong! Shen Yuan lamented. Luo Binghe, why are you practising your harem master lines on the wrong person?
The shop assistants were clutching each other’s hands, faces red and one of them was turning purple by how hard she was clamping her mouth. Shen Yuan gave them an odd look and raised an eyebrow. Just his luck. He found the fujoshis.
Nothing to see here, ladies! They weren’t feeding everyone dog food! They were just two men swearing their eternal brotherhood to each other! Fucking hell, lay off on the gay yellow books!
Aggrieved, Shen Yuan asked the two to show them all the rings available for men. When they were directed to the counter and the options available, he started turning them down one by one.
Silver tarnished quickly. Gold was good but it easily dented especially with a higher karat. Both of them wore silvery hued metals so the yellow and rose gold were out of question.
He could choose white gold but it needed to be plated again for its hue to remain, well, white. A diamond pave ring was beautiful and so was the eternity ring but the diamonds might fall off if hit too hard. Besides, those designs were too feminine for both of them. Platinum was stronger and would hold up better with their work and lifestyle.
If Luo Binghe chose one with stones, solitaires and any prong styles that stuck out were out of the question unless he didn’t want to wear it everyday. He said all those to Luo Binghe who only nodded and accepted his criticisms without a word of protest.
Shen Yuan knew all of this because of his younger sister who spent hours talking his ears off about jewelry while browsing the websites to add more to her growing collection.
The ladies didn’t even bat an eye as they switched tray after tray. They were likely used to pickier and more indecisive brides (which Shen Yuan was not). With an unlimited budget, they had more freedom to showcase the stores’ designs.
As they perused the rings shown, Shen Yuan realized, with dawning horror, that they’re being shown the wedding bands. He opened his mouth to complain when Luo Binghe made a sound.
Shen Yuan saw him looking at a simple platinum band. The design, however, was something that he saw ever since he was a child. It was one of the brand’s most popular designs, the one worn by couples! He wanted to protest so badly because this would send a wrong message to anyone who saw it! Granted no one in Proud Immortal Demon Way would care (except for Luo Binghe’s future wives and wow, wouldn’t that be a fun conversation) but Shen Yuan. Does. Care!
But Luo Binghe was staring at it with an interest that Shen Yuan didn’t see with the other rings. Fuck.
“This one,” Luo Binghe told the Shop Assistant Number One.
The woman clapped her hands excitedly. “Very good, sir!” She picked out the ring and showed it to Luo Binghe, then she began to explain the meaning to him.
Shen Yuan accepted his defeat once Luo Binghe started asking questions, to which the attendant enthusiastically answered.
A ring meant for lovers. One that should be worn and never taken off unless it’s done by your lover. To represent commitment and love for eternity.
Once she was done, two of them turned to him. Pinned by their expectant gazes, Shen Yuan cleared his throat. “Is this the one for you?”
Luo Binghe nodded, almost reverently. “Yes, Yuan-gege.”
It’s the lore behind it, Shen Yuan told himself before he could have a breakdown. There’s nothing more to it. Besides, this ring isn’t just meant for romantic love though that concept popularized it! Parents bought this ring for their children as graduation gifts and siblings bought these to celebrate their milestones!
“It’s a good choice for a promise ring, right?” Shen Yuan asked no one in particular as he stared at the ring. From the corner of his eye, the shop assistant and Luo Binghe shared a look but he was too focused on keeping himself from imploding to pay it any mind. “We’ll take a pair of this. Please take Binghe’s ring size.”
After Shen Yuan paid, Luo Binghe was staring at the boxes with unconcealed longing. Cursing his soft and weak heart, Shen Yuan said that they could wear the rings now if Luo Binghe wanted to.
It snowballed. Shen Yuan glowered sullenly at Shop Assistant Number Two who unhelpfully suggested to Luo Binghe that they should wear the rings on the ring fingers of their left hands. Luo Binghe’s fingers trembled when he slid the ring on Shen Yuan’s finger.
Shen Yuan forced himself to zone out when he did the same to Luo Binghe. The whole store cheered. Even behind the mask, Luo Binghe’s smile was blinding. His eyes shone with unshed tears and satisfaction as if he won something.
Shen Yuan couldn’t look him straight in the face after.
He didn’t even have the mind to berate everyone who recorded and took pictures of the whole thing!
The foreign sensation of a ring on his finger made everything too real. His face would never recover from its semi-permanent tomato state. They left with Shen Yuan wanting to change his name and face. Well, good thing that no one would remember what happened after this! Even the store selling high-end household appliances didn’t turn Luo Binghe’s head!
He dragged Luo Binghe to the nearest food stall selling the saltiest and oiliest fried food available. He even bought ice cold soda for good measure! Luo Binghe only gave him a mild (mild!) reproaching stare but didn’t complain like he did yesterday. He was too busy staring at his ring with a soft smile.
Shen Yuan thumbed his own ring and twisted it around his finger. The weird feeling in his gut, as if he got off on the wrong side and stubbornly stayed there despite the tides running in a different direction, was getting stronger.
He barely even paid attention to the passersby and other mall-goers shamelessly ogling Luo Binghe.
The SYSTEM pinged an hourly reminder. The timer flashed. Shen Yuan crumpled the wrapper and threw it into the trash. His snack was heavy as stone in his stomach. Luo Binghe was still smiling by his side, hidden by his mask. His happiness was palpable but to Shen Yuan, it looked like spun sugar. Easy to tear apart and dissolve into nothing with just a drop of water. He hoped that after what happened tonight, Luo Binghe’s happiness would stay with him a little longer.
Notes:
Some Chinese slang lifted from danmei:
1. black bellied - secretly sly and cunning but appears to be innocent and kind
2. lightbulb - third wheel
3. salted fish - a person who has no intention of doing anything in his or her life
4. eat/fed dog food - when couples show PDA in front of single people
5. yellow book - pornon another note, the ring is inspired by Cartier's love ring.
edit: shoutout to everyone who brought up lbh wanting to recreate modern tech in svsss-verse!
hope you like this chapter!
Chapter 5: like i lost my twin
Chapter Text
Shen Yuan discreetly tugged Luo Binghe to another direction when he realized that they were in danger of passing the merch store if they continued this way. That store had the original Luo Binghe’s standee poised right at the door, with his top three wives hanging around him. It was impossible to miss.
Well, there was no need to spoil Luo Binghe’s (most likely) future to him or give him an outright shock. Luo Binghe didn’t seem to mind. He just threw his arm around Shen Yuan’s shoulder and tugged him closer to avoid a group of rambunctious young men.
The weight of his arm and the gleam of his ring kept Shen Yuan grounded enough that he didn’t get sidetracked thinking about the fact that their time was running out steadily.
Focus, he told himself. They still had plenty of time.
There weren’t a lot of people in the arcade since it was a weekday and most teens had school. The place was usually packed during Friday nights or weekends. Therefore, they mostly had some games to themselves. Shen Yuan wasn’t going to complain about his luck.
He urged Luo Binghe to play with him game after game. Luo Binghe quickly caught on and started to catch up. It was tight at first, they took turns winning against each other until Shen Yuan bowed out so he could mentor Luo Binghe himself.
The protagonist won game after game and Shen Yuan’s crowing led to a small crowd gathered around them until he pulled Luo Binghe away. Then he showed Luo Binghe how to play bowling but Luo Binghe quickly crushed his score. Shen Yuan accepted his defeat with the kind of grace he never showed to the players who had the misfortune of matching against him.
They were briefly sidelined by a group of beautiful young ladies who came to flirt with Luo Binghe. Shen Yuan tried to step back but Luo Binghe’s hand was firm against his lower back. When the leader saw his ring, they apologized and backed off. Luo Binghe even went as far as taking the phone number from Shen Yuan’s hands and throwing it in the trash.
Shen Yuan stood there, admiring the protagonist’s foresight. A promise ring and a deterrent against unwanted attention. The protagonist was really good at hitting so many birds in one shot!
He tugged Luo Binghe to the strength tester machine. After one round, Luo Binghe broke it. The same thing happened with the boxing machine. Wow. No one could really compare to the protagonist! Of course, look at those muscles! They weren’t just for decoration.
Then the two of them snuck away before an employee could find out what happened, giggling and shushing each other like two naughty kids.
While they were hiding from the employees, they wandered to a section with the claw machine. A father was trying to get a plushie for his son but ultimately failed. The boy threw a mother of a tantrum then ran away, disappointed. The father sighed, face red with shame and went after him before the boy could get lost.
Shen Yuan couldn’t help but tut at the bear child.
Luo Binghe, however, went to the claw machine and peered inside the glass cabinet. “Yuan-gege, how do you play this?”
Shen Yuan’s eyebrows raised in surprise. Luo Binghe wanted a plushie? Somehow, the idea that the big, strong, overpowered protagonist cuddling a small plushie was...absurdly cute. A motherfucking gap moe. He never considered it. Then again, even as a young disciple, Luo Binghe was never one to ask for things like this. Maybe this was some sort of wish fulfillment to heal his inner child? It wasn’t Shen Yuan’s place to question it.
“You insert a coin into the slot and use this stick and buttons to maneuver the claw,” he explained. “Does Binghe want a plushie? I can get it for you.”
He said this with the confidence of an older brother who would often get pestered by his younger sister into successfully retrieving the plushies she wanted. He might be a little rusty but he learned all the tricks!
Luo Binghe shyly indicated to the...
Motherfucking cucumber plushie lying innocently on top of the pile.
Shen Yuan’s mouth fell open in shock.
“It reminds me of you,” Luo Binghe said innocently.
The gibberish that came out of his mouth was something only dying birds could understand. A cucumber? A fucking cucumber? Did Luo Binghe get into his user profile somehow? Where the fuck did Luo Binghe even get the idea that he was Peerless Cucumber of all things -
Wait. If Luo Binghe knew about Peerless Cucumber then he would know about Proud Immortal Demon Way.
Panic sank into Shen Yuan’s stomach. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Did he accidentally blurt some shit while he was drunk? His desktop was locked with a password. Luo Binghe wouldn’t be able to get in. Shit, did he leave his phone somewhere with the webnovel’s page open?
If Luo Binghe knew about his origins, what would it mean to everyone? Fuck. Fuck. Okay. He needed to act cool. He needed to be nonchalant. There was no need to panic. He wouldn’t be able to achieve anything from panicking. Besides, he already survived through a crisis so this shouldn’t be a problem if Shen Yuan just explained -
The SYSTEM sent him a warning.
And Luo Binghe was still waiting for a response. At his continued silence grew, Luo Binghe was starting to look concerned.
“Is Yuan-gege offended? This one apologizes, I didn’t mean to -”
“No!” Shen Yuan blurted. “Of course, I’m not offended. It’s just...”
Shen Yuan looked around desperately, looking for a word that isn’t connected to his fucking account!
“A fruit,” Shen Yuan croaked, finally. “I remind you of a fruit.”
Luo Binghe laughed. The softness in it wouldn't make sense if he actually knew, right? Besides, he didn’t have any more breakdowns. Yet. Surely, knowing that he was just a figment of imagination by a hack author would leave anyone with a psychological shadow and a crisis that might blow up the entire city. Also, his SYSTEM should have warned him in the first place -
“It’s your phone charm,” Luo Binghe told him. The amusement and genuine honesty in his tone was clear. “It’s also painted on your phone case.”
All of a sudden, Shen Yuan deflated in relief. His soul settled back inside his body.
His phone charm. His phone case. He forgot. Oh good. He was absolved from explaining phallic references and dirty jokes to his disciple and his secret was safe. Luo Binghe still didn’t know. He chuckled, hoping that it didn’t sound manic. “Of course. My phone charm and phone case. What else would it be?”
So he obediently went along with the protagonist’s request even though it pained his heart and mind.
Five minutes later, he successfully won the plushie.
Now, Luo Binghe cradled the plushie (still an eyesore, fucking kill Shen Yuan now) in one arm while his other arm was around Shen Yuan’s shoulder as if he was holding Shen Yuan back from running away from the plushie’s vicinity.
Still, Shen Yuan felt that everything was coming back to haunt his ass. He might as well rename himself Peerless Cabbage. Heck even Peerless Chrysanthemum and Peerless Crazy Flower would suffice! Shang Qinghua would never let him live it down if he knew.
He hoped that Luo Binghe wouldn’t choose it as one of his souvenirs. Otherwise, Shen Yuan might just make good on his promise to be a cryptid immortal living in eternal seclusion on top of a secret mountain, and guarded by the riddling Five-Eyed Sphinx of Fire.
They finally left the arcade with a few more hours to spare. It was just enough for them to make it back in time for dinner and to prepare. Even with the traffic. As they made their way towards the exit, they passed by a photo booth. A couple just exited it and they were giggling over their pictures. Luo Binghe suddenly paused in his steps and regarded the booth curiously.
“Yuan-gege, what’s that?”
Shen Yuan stared at the sparkling and very...massive hearts decorating the photo booth. As if the white ruffles and heart shaped balloons didn’t make it obvious enough, there were sample photos of couples. Luo Binghe’s eyes were glimmering with interest.
Oh no.
Oh fuck no.
“That’s a photo booth. Remember the photographs in my apartment? You can take photos there and the machine will give you a copy.”
Luo Binghe’s eyes practically shone. Shen Yuan didn’t need to hear it, he already knew that the protagonist wanted one. Shen Yuan pressed his lips together. He absolutely hated having his photos taken. In fact, he had to be dragged and metaphorically held at gunpoint for family pictures.
But fuck Shen Yuan’s soft tofu heart. Fuck it and fuck Shang Qinghua for making Luo Binghe so impossible to say no to!
They squeezed inside the photo booth, with Shen Yuan almost sitting in Luo Binghe’s lap (no, he wasn’t blushing). They were both grown and rather tall men and the space inside was small! After a few minutes of fumbling and adjustments, he finally coaxed Luo Binghe to look at the camera and smile. The flash and the sounds of the shutter couldn’t drown out the thundering of his heart beat nor the sweet-spicy-woody scent of Luo Binghe’s hair and skin. The warmth of him even with their layers of clothing.
In the next shot, Shen Yuan gave Luo Binghe rabbit ears.
Then he taught Luo Binghe how to make a heart sign. Their cheeks pressed together.
At the last shot, Luo Binghe pressed in closer, nose to his temple. All of his air left his lungs when he felt something soft press against the side of his head. The flash and the shutter stilled the moment. And then, as if Shen Yuan was just hallucinating it, the touch was gone.
Silence.
He scrambled out of the booth, mind in a disarray. He felt Luo Binghe follow him, calling his name, but Shen Yuan’s head was hooked onto what just happened. It was a kiss. Surely, it was a kiss.
Yet.
A child would give you the same affection that they receive from the people who raised them. His siblings would do that to their mother. Shen Yuan had been rather...free with his affections with the younger Luo Binghe though they were reserved due to propriety.
He remembered when Luo Binghe had been affected by a curse which made him ill. Shen Yuan stayed by his bedside to look after him. He would kiss his forehead, like his own mother did for him whenever Shen Yuan was down with a fever. She said that it’s more effective to check his temperature that way.
Luo Binghe was just mirroring him.
There was nothing more to it.
There had to be nothing more to it.
Assigning anything else to that gesture was... it was unimaginable!
He and Luo Binghe were straight men. Whatever affection they had, surely it was because of the deep bond of brotherhood, right! Shen Yuan shouldn’t misinterpret them, otherwise, things would get weird. They just hurdled out from one misunderstanding - there was no need to hurry to another one!
Shen Yuan twisted the ring around his finger again and again and again. Fuck, he missed his fans.
Luo Binghe approached him slowly, murmuring his name in concern. Shen Yuan shook his head and took out the finished photos. Except for the first one, every single one of them had Luo Binghe looking down at him with that soft, unfamiliar expression. The last one...
Shen Yuan shoved all those thoughts deep in his mind and locked them all in a vault. He handed them all to Luo Binghe. Clearing his throat from the tightness strangling him, he asked, “Does Binghe still want to look around or buy something else? We still have time.”
The light in Luo Binghe’s dark eyes were dimmed. “No, this is more than enough for this lowly one.”
Shen Yuan started to protest, unable to stomach another word of Luo Binghe’s self-deprecation but the protagonist cut him off by asking if they could go back now.
The ride back home was quiet. Luo Binghe spent the entire time staring out the window, pensive. Shen Yuan chose to leave him alone with his thoughts. Try as he might, no comprehensible words would leave his mouth.
The strange silence only lasted until they arrived at the apartment. Still, there was still a lull between them even when Shen Yuan handed him the SYSTEM - issued qiankun pouch to store his tokens slash souvenirs. Luo Binghe thanked him and excused himself to make dinner. Shen Yuan idled by the doorway, staring after Luo Binghe’s back. Then he scuttled to his bedroom.
He hemmed and hawed on what he should bring. If someone asked him what he could bring back from his first life a year ago, Shen Yuan would answer without any humor, his entire bedroom and all the things in it. What he wouldn’t give to have his comfortable bed, his soft pillows, his air conditioner, his computer, gaming accessories, etc. Now, faced with the choice of only bringing three things, he felt like he was choosing which child was his favorite while the rest were shipped away.
Unfortunately, the SYSTEM was still a massive fucking dickhead and only limited him to one technological device. The storage would only allow him to store and provide infinite charging to one device.
He could, after all, get his Internet from the SYSTEM’s Vending Maching when he had enough points. However, some restrictions must be placed especially on his social media profiles and any accounts he could use to interact with people in this world. In short: Shen Yuan was allowed to lurk, not actively interact. Otherwise, there would be dire consequences.
Fucking bummer.
So after tearfully saying his goodbyes to his beloved gaming accessories and computer, he chucked his phone in the qiankun pouch. The next was his family’s photo album. He chose the portrait at first but in the end, he decided against it. The album had his siblings’ stupid moments and who knew when Shen Yuan needed a good laugh. For the last item...he eyed the ring.
His feelings were still mixed about it, but Shen Yuan wasn’t an idiot. This meant a lot to both of them. To Luo Binghe. If Shen Yuan didn’t choose it, it would send the wrong message to Luo Binghe. He was about to drop it in the pouch when a feeling in his gut stopped him.
SYSTEM, do we need to put everything in the qiankun pouch?
[Answering the host. The rings are now classified under “Key Items.” The Esteemed Host and the Protagonist only need to wear them and think about bringing them!]
Wait. So does it mean that I can bring an extra item?
[We regret to inform the host that the rings are still part of your “Bring Three Items for Luck.” In order to add one item, you must remove one.]
Shen Yuan dropped his head in his hand and groaned out several strings of curses.
The heavenly smell of dinner lured Shen Yuan out of his bedroom.
He poked his head in the kitchen only to see Luo Binghe setting the table with a banquet fit for a fucking emperor. He even replicated the KFC fried chicken and the fries! So Shen Yuan did what he did best: he praised Luo Binghe from the seven hells below to the heavens above, though he bit back on his joke of this being his last meal before he got sentenced to death. His praise got the protagonist to respond, however briefly. Luo Binghe was too distracted even under his attentive demeanor.
The timer pinged.
Two hours left.
Luo Binghe protested when Shen Yuan determinedly situated himself next to the sink and began helping him wash the dishes. Shen Yuan waved off his protests, playfully bumping him out of the way to reach for the second sponge.
Shen Yuan knew that he still needed to talk to Luo Binghe about his status before they went back. He had been, in all honesty, putting it off a bit. He was way too preoccupied with spending time with his favorite protagonist and having fun that it sometimes slipped his mind.
Maybe it wouldn’t be a difficult discussion. He could just say it before the time was up so that Luo Binghe wouldn’t be too shocked when he sees Shen Qingqiu’s corpse. Heavens knew what his clingy disciple might do if he just disappeared again without a warning.
Yes, Shen Yuan should do something about his stickiness sometime in the future. It was unseemly for a young man to keep on clinging to a parental figure’s sleeves. He would mourn and miss it for sure but, ah, such was life.
With that, he approached Luo Binghe, who was standing on the balcony and staring at the city. Shen Yuan’s apartment was on one of the highest floors which afforded them a good view. Shen Yuan shivered as the cool air hit his bare hands.
“Binghe,” he greeted, nudging their shoulders together.
“Shizun.”
Shen Yuan went still at the sudden change of title. He had gotten so used to the plaintive calls of “Yuan-gege” throughout the past twenty-four hours that being called “shizun” again was like being splashed with cold water on the face. He nervously eyed Luo Binghe, wondering what prompted this change of mood. Luo Binghe was still staring at the city, his face impassive.
“It’s cold out here,” Shen Yuan said just so the silence didn’t become anymore awkward.
“This disciple doesn’t mind the cold but shizun should take care of himself.” He finally looked at Shen Yuan. “Please, go back inside if it’s too much.”
Shen Yuan rolled his eyes. He spent a month in the Water Prison. What was a chilly breeze compared to it? “This master isn’t so weak that a simple cold would make me faint.”
“Of course, shizun has always been the strongest person I’ve known.”
Shen Yuan sighed at the flattery. He leaned against the railing and asked, “What are you doing out here, Binghe?”
“The view here is beautiful.” Luo Binghe copied his pose. “Though I can hardly see the stars anymore.”
“That’s because of pollution. It’s the price we pay for technological advancement and capitalism.”
Luo Binghe hummed thoughtfully. “Perhaps one can get used to it. Your world seems so much kinder than mine.”
Shen Yuan couldn’t help the derisive laugh. “It’s not. Binghe has only seen a tiny portion of it. A lot of shit still happens out there. So many horrors that humans inflict against each other. Some of us are lucky to not experience it.”
“But those things won’t touch you, right?”
Shen Yuan couldn’t help frowning at that. Yes, he got lucky enough to be a salted fish fuerdai who could be a NEET and still be supported to the end of his life. He opened his mouth to protest but Luo Binghe cut him off.
“We don’t need to go back.”
Shen Yuan choked and his elbow almost slipped from the railing. “B-Binghe?”
Luo Binghe surged forward and grasped his biceps. Those dark eyes burned, the intensity, the utter decisiveness in them, caught Shen Yuan off guard. Whatever he saw in Shen Yuan’s face gentled his hold.
Luo Binghe murmured, “Shizun... Yuan-gege, what’s the point of going back? It’s better here, right? It’s so much more peaceful. You don’t need to worry about the sects coming after us. You have your family here. You have a life here. I’ve never seen you so open, so free before.”
Luo Binghe touched Shen Yuan’s cheek. Calloused fingers that softly stroked his heated skin. “You can have everything back. I’ll find work so you don’t need to keep on supporting me. We don’t have to worry about anything else anymore. We can stay here and be happy together. Just give me the artifact and I’ll destroy it -”
Shen Yuan managed to pull himself out of his daze. He tried to push Luo Binghe away but he stood as still as a boulder.
What the hell was Luo Binghe going to do? Fight the SYSTEM? His cultivation was still suppressed and therefore Xin Mo was still inaccessible to him! Besides, no matter how hilarious it would be, Shen Yuan didn’t want him to massively offend an entity that had the power to play god. “That’s not possible.”
“I’ve lived through more impossibilities than one can think of, shizun. There is always a way even if we have to carve one ourselves. Just consider it -”
“I’m already dead in this world and living on borrowed time, Binghe. Give me space to breathe, will you?” He successfully squirmed his way out of Luo Binghe’s hold and adjusted his glasses. Luo Binghe was frowning now.
“There has to be something -”
“There’s nothing that we can do. Some things are beyond our control. We can’t change this just because we want to. And I’ve already lived this life, Binghe. I also have a life back in our world as Shen Qingqiu, and I do enjoy being Shen Qingqiu!” He took a deep breath, praying that his neighbors weren’t back yet from their vacation so they wouldn’t listen in on this conversation even if they wouldn’t remember it. He stared helplessly at the protagonist. “Why are you so insistent on staying here? Binghe, listen to this master. You have a bright future back in our world. Don’t just throw it away for my sake-”
“I don’t care about that!” Luo Binghe nearly roared. Shen Yuan unconsciously took a step back but Luo Binghe followed. His eyes were manic and wet. “I don’t care about being a lord. I don’t care about being the palace master! Fuck all those greatness, riches and power if I have to lose this!”
He gestured between them furiously. Shen Yuan could only stare in response. His tongue and lips refused to move.
Luo Binghe dragged his hand down his face and took a shuddering breath. In an instant, his mood switched. All of his emotions were tucked under that mask again. Like he always did. A genial mask to hide everything underneath. “This disciple apologizes for his outburst -”
“Stop,” Shen Yuan said, a little unsteady. Suddenly, the protagonist’s future was crumbling in front of his eyes. Oh god. “Binghe, I don’t understand. Why are you doing this? Why are you saying this?”
Luo Binghe let out a bitter laugh. “I always keep on losing you in that world. You’re not safe there, even without Huan Hua Palace, even without those charges. Something always happens to you which puts you in peril. Tell me, shizun, why shouldn’t I keep you here?”
Shen Yuan’s chest was tight, twisting as if he was stabbed by a thousand knives. “Do you think that this master can’t handle himself?”
Luo Binghe made a frustrated sound. “I don’t mean it like that, shizun.” He reached for Shen Yuan’s hand. “Don’t make me lose you. Once is enough. I can’t - I can’t lose you again.”
The tears that Luo Binghe had been holding back burst out. They ran down his cheeks and stuck against his lashes. The desperation and heartbreak in his eyes made Shen Yuan’s chest ache as he shushed him and wiped his tears with his cheeks. Luo Binghe sniffed and buried his face in Shen Yuan’s palm.
Shen Yuan softened. Oh this little sheep of his. He really ought to do something about Luo Binghe’s stickiness. “Binghe, don’t be silly. You won’t lose me.”
Luo Binghe shook his head petulantly. “You say that but then you turn around and you’ll be gone again. This disciple tries to keep up with you but sometimes you stray too far and leave me behind.”
Shen Yuan flicked his forehead, right in the center of his zuiyin. “You can’t always stick to me, Binghe. Now, listen. We can’t stay here because we don’t belong in this world. I’d die for real this time if I did, and I’m not risking you. You can’t break the artifact without affecting both our souls.”
Luo Binghe looked away. Shen Yuan huffed, amused. The protagonist would deny it but he always sulked whenever Shen Yuan denied his request. It shouldn’t be cute but Shen Yuan was nothing but weak for Luo Binghe.
“Binghe must have forgotten what this master said the night we got here. I’m not actually dead in that world. I have a...countermeasure in case I died,” he said. He needed to choose his words carefully so as to make it not obvious that he did it because of Luo Binghe. “There’s a mushroom that can grow bodies to house a person’s soul. Shang Qinghua and I found it and we decided to try growing them. The Sun-Moon Dew Mushroom.”
Like a shark to blood in the water, the tears dissipated from Luo Binghe’s eyes. His gaze narrowed. “Shang Qinghua?”
“Yes, your Shang-shishu.” Just because Shen Yuan thought that Shang Qinghua was a little shit and his writing was a lost cause didn’t mean that he wouldn’t teach Luo Binghe to respect his elders. “Anyway, once we go back, my soul will enter that mushroom body and it will take years for that body to be fully-grown. So! We’re going to see each other again.”
The timer pinged.
Five minutes.
Shen Yuan’s stomach fell. He mustered up a smile for Luo Binghe but it wavered.
“Yuan-gege...” Luo Binghe whispered. He caught Shen Yuan’s hand again. “What if - what if it fails? What if this disciple is just dreaming-”
“You’re not.” He cupped Luo Binghe’s cheeks and wiped the fresh tears away. This silly, loyal white lotus of his. He stood on his tiptoes and kissed Luo Binghe’s forehead twice. Then he tipped Luo Binghe’s chin so they were looking at each other.
Shen Yuan couldn’t help the tremble in his heart and the honey-like warmth leaking into his veins. He tucked Luo Binghe’s hair behind his ears, pressed their foreheads together and whispered, “Go to Shang Qinghua. Tell him that you know. Tell him that Peerless Cucumber sent you and ask him about it. He’ll tell you everything. I’ll see you on the other side so be good for me, Binghe -”
His right wrist was captured in a firm hold, startling him enough to pull away. Something bittersweet and heavy crossed Luo Binghe’s face. A strange kind of desperation he had never seen before. Then the young man’s eyes fluttered shut.
Shen Yuan wanted to ask him what’s wrong but he suddenly couldn’t speak. There was a cool and soft sensation against his lips. And then a sharp bite on his lower lip. Before he could think, Luo Binghe was holding him by his waist, crashing him against his chest. There were fingers threading in his hair, pulling him closer than possible. The sensation and pressure against his mouth doubled, as if Luo Binghe wanted to crawl inside him and never let go.
Shen Yuan fisted Luo Binghe’s shirt.
Realization crashed through him like a battering ram. Luo Binghe was - Luo Binghe was!
He gasped helplessly against the kiss and Luo Binghe swallowed it - kissing him more fiercely, terribly awkward in his inexperience -
[Satisfaction Points + 500! Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations! Important things must be said three times!]
The timer hit zero.
Wait. Wait -
If Luo Binghe didn’t open his eyes then perhaps this dream wouldn’t end. He would still be in that strange new world, with his Yuan-gege. His master. His.
Shen Yuan’s mouth was so soft, so warm. The sensation sent jolts of lightning through his veins. It was an act of desperation; a desire to make this beautiful, kind and loving man finally see. Even if he pushed Luo Binghe away, even if he rejected Luo Binghe’s affections, it was fine. Luo Binghe could deal with that. He would rip out his own heart and destroy all of his souls for Shen Yuan all the same. He just needed Shen Yuan in whatever form, in whatever relationship his master would allow. Those three days brought him more than he could ever dare hope for.
Now all Luo Binghe felt was numbness.
It was a funny thing to be so numb. For the past three years, all he felt was pain. It raged in his heart, roiled in his veins, dogged his sleep. All he could feel was the gaping, avaricious maw of ache, of not being enough, not being good enough for his shizun, of being a dirty, unlovable demon whose shizun cast him aside for, shizun whywhywhy-
From the broken bones, the broken spine, the broken legs, the broken heart, to the wounds and the fractures and everything in between. Luo Binghe carried his pain under his skin and placid smile, as he killed, and lied, and killed and crawled his way to the top on his hands and knees, and lied and pretended just to see his shizun once again-
And then he got his wish.
That unworthy, unlovable, dirty demon who was abandoned in the dirt was beloved and cared for all along. His shizun, his Yuan-gege, who never hated him and regretted everything. Who regarded him as if he was worth the world - worth the sacrifice. All those precious laughter, touch, kindness, the crassness, all of him stripped of the confines he caged himself in. All of them were reserved only for Luo Binghe.
Not Liu Qingge, not Yue Qingyuan, nor his martial siblings or the hundreds of admirers his shizun tended to draw.
So Luo Binghe dreamed that maybe, maybe, maybe.
Just maybe he was allowed to be happy.
But like a paper folded a hundred times, everything fell apart so easily in his hands.
There was a weight in his arms - barely substantial, as if he was holding a fallen paper kite. The rustle and shift of long robes. There was red on his sleeves, red in those green robes. Shen Yuan, Shen Qingqiu’s lips were speckled with red. He was smiling. He was -
Gone were those endearing black framed spectacles. Gone was the short hair and those scandalously thin clothes. Gone was the beautiful and soft expressive face who smiled so much and so freely for Luo Binghe.
Blindly, Luo Binghe stared in front of him. Hoping, praying to the gods that never listened that this was a joke. That Shen Yuan was still standing in front of him. That if he craned his head, he would see him amongst the crowd. But the faces were both familiar and unfamiliar - none belonged to Shen Yuan. Luo Binghe couldn’t even see his shadow.
Shen Yuan was beyond his reach.
His ears were ringing.
In his periphery, the cultivators gathered around them. Ning Yingying was crying. Ming Fan was shouting something Luo Binghe couldn’t make out. There were loud voices, accusations flying around him.
He tried to wipe the blood off his shizun’s cooling face to no avail. So he clutched his shizun tighter and buried his face in his hair. The raw, scraping sound forced its way out of his throat. Hot tears blurred his vision. He trembled. The ache in chest tore him cun by cun.
A gleam on his shizun’s finger caught his eye.
The ring.
He looked at his left hand. He was still wearing his.
Luo Binghe couldn’t stop the helpless, choking laughter that escaped him.
It was real.
This was the proof of their promise.
He feared that everything was just some hallucination from Xin Mo but it wasn’t. It was real. Shizun, Yuan-gege...it really happened. That was enough. He remembered Shen Yuan’s instructions before the darkness took them away, and with hope solidifying itself in his heart and stitching his wounds, he stood and readjusted his shizun’s body so he was carrying him more securely.
Swords were drawn around him. Liu Qingge snarled something that Luo Binghe didn’t pay attention to. He unsheathed Xin Mo and cut a portal to the Underground Palace.
It was his fate: everything that he loved would be taken from him in the end. But not this. Not Shen Yuan. His beloved’s fate led to Luo Binghe in the end despite the mishap that caused it. It didn’t matter. Luo Binghe was used to fighting for whatever scrap of happiness he was allowed to taste. He would cross worlds, kill all the gods in Shen Yuan’s name, remake the heavens and his fate just so their paths would be together again.
Let the world be their witness for this was his vow.
Notes:
oh no. oh nooo
Writing notes:
1. Peerless Chrysanthemum & Peerless Crazy Flower - these are some of the names our Peerless Cucumber got called in the novel because the NPCs didn’t hear the cucumber part
2. The cabbage part is a reference to the metaphor, “raising a cabbage only for it to be eaten by a pig.” Wherein someone innocent that you care about later hooked up with a scumbag
3. cun - a traditional Chinese measurement often glossed over as the Chinese inch
4. bear child - a spoiled child
Chapter 6: i might stay down bad
Notes:
thank you so much for the love last chapter, and thank you so much for going along with my silly ideas. (this is the last installment for this fic.) please enjoy it 😘
EDIT 06/2025: I AM A FOOL. I FUCKED UP. THERE'S AN EXTRA CHAPTER 😭
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Consciousness slammed in harder than a steel bar to his head.
Shen Yuan blinked into the darkness as the last dregs of sleep left him. The memories of his last waking moments flashed in his mind like an annoying pop virus he couldn’t exit. Fuck. He wanted to go back to sleep. Who wanted to face an impending crisis so early, huh? No one. Wake him up when September ended, thank you very much!
Unfortunately, no matter what he did, his mind just. Wouldn’t. Shut. Up.
The kiss.
Luo Binghe’s kiss.
His and Luo Binghe’s kiss.
Of course it wasn’t Shen Yuan’s first kiss, but with a man?
The stallion protagonist at that!
What the fuck. What sort of fucking genre change was this? When did everything turn into fucking danmei?
He didn’t raise the protagonist into an asexual, no, he did so much more than that. He raised Luo Binghe into a gay man! No wonder he never looked at any women, no matter how beautiful she was, that way. They didn’t attract his interest, in fact, he often looked like he was humoring them out of politeness! Even Ning Yingying didn’t step further from her role as shijie!
No wonder Luo Binghe never had a wife.
A horrifying thought crossed inside his mind: perhaps this was the reason why the original protagonist was never satisfied with just one woman? To compensate for something? He hurriedly threw that thought away.
What harem of flowers, Luo Binghe might as well collect grasses!
Shen Yuan tried to remember a time when Luo Binghe looked at another male that way, and failed. Even Cang Qiong Mountain Sect’s prettiest warlord was only met with the annoyance of a rival trying to take away his favorite toy. Forget Luo Binghe’s cannon fodder shixiongs and shidi from the other peaks!
It didn’t make sense, but all this time, the only one Luo Binghe imprinted on was him.
But why him?
Why him as Shen Qingqiu?
Maybe Luo Binghe got confused? But it wasn’t like Shen gave him mixed signals or trespassed the boundaries of being a doting master to him even when they lived together. He kept a certain distance to Luo Binghe back then, as one would do to a character in a book. Was it because of kindness?
Shen Yuan felt his world corrode around a little more.
He tried to convince himself that maybe it was a phase. Some people went through it. Maybe he was just a... way for Luo Binghe to discover his sexuality. Bisexuals and pansexuals exist! Who knew what Luo Binghe really was, fuck, it felt wrong for Shen Yuan to speculate. Maybe after Shen Yuan spent so long in hibernation, Luo Binghe actually found himself a wife? Yet try as he might, those reasons lost track and died.
Because Luo Binghe’s words during their time together echoed back in his mind with perfect clarity:
“There is no future wife. Not without you.”
“Yuan-ge can point this Binghe to that person so I can challenge them to a duel to death... To prove to you that no one else can take your place.”
“A promise to each other... that nothing can separate us. In life or death.”
“Wherever you choose to go, whatever you decide to do, I shall be with you. Fate can try to break us but I will find a way to you.”
“Fuck all those greatness, riches and power if I have to lose this!”
“...but Yuan-ge just won’t see it.”
Shen Yuan could clearly see everything now.
Those words drowned out everything else. He remembered the look in Luo Binghe’s eyes in those times. The emotion that Shen Yuan wasn’t able to read that time turned out to be something that terrified him in a different way. For the thing was... Shen Yuan had never seen that kind of Luo Binghe in Proud Immortal Demon Way.
Oh, the original blacked stallion protagonist was one hell of a charming fucker. How else was he supposed to single-handedly woo six hundred women? Aside from Airplane’s questionable pandering, Luo Binghe knew how to make women swoon and spread their legs with just a look. He also did make promises to a few hundred women.
But he never promised this. He never promised them eternal devotion. Fuck, even his top three wives never got a speech about him following them to wherever they want to go, be it heaven or hell! It was always the wife or wives of that arc promising Luo Binghe to do that. Never him. Because that loyalty and devotion was supposed to be reserved to the wife he would name empress, which he never had. Even until his death.
Knowing Luo Binghe’s propensity for keeping his promises and his single minded determination, Shen Yuan could kiss that metaphorical wife goodbye.
And Shen Yuan knew he couldn’t run and hide anymore even if he wanted to.
For one, he told Luo Binghe to ask Shang Qinghua about the mushroom body and for sure, Luo Binghe knew his exact location now.
And second, no matter where he went to hide, he still had to acknowledge this reality.
Well, what was stopping him?
It was this: if Shen Yuan acknowledged it then he would acknowledge the fact that they were actually going on dates. That Luo Binghe did propose (and fuck did he want to scream at that) and the rings weren’t just promise rings of brotherhood. And that Shen Yuan had to face the fact that he did like the kiss. As imperfect as it was. And the thought made him want to die again right there.
Add to the fact that Shen Yuan wasn’t a gay man! He liked women. Just because he never felt the need to pursue one and have sex with her -
Fuck.
Who was Shen Yuan kidding? He’d been an idiot for too long. In the face of those words, he had been blind and deaf. How the hell did he face Luo Binghe’s... full devotion and his claims, two things that even his novel harem only got the sliver of, and thought of another?
He was an idiot. The biggest clown of the motherfucking circus.
Shen Yuan must face Luo Binghe. He must face the consequences of his actions. He must acknowledge and accept the fact that Luo Binghe, for better or worse, turned his romantic sights on one person:
Him.
But Shen Yuan didn’t want to leave the soil just yet. A part of him wished to be buried here forever because how the hell was he supposed to face that? How was he supposed to look Luo Binghe in the eye? Of course it wasn’t even a question if he loved Luo Binghe or not, he fucking died because of him and for him. Though, the second one was faked. Even the popular danmei ML and MC his younger sister obsessed over died only once in their lifetime so take that! It wasn’t like Shen Yuan was in - in love -
Motherfucker.
He didn’t even have it in him to break Luo Binghe’s heart by rejecting him.
Everything is so wrong, he despaired. And I’m still buried.
The mouthful of dirt solidified the utter ridiculousness of his situation, and he couldn’t really blame Airplane for the predicament he landed himself into.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t move an inch. Well, it looked like he got his wish! He would definitely stay buried a little more. It was something he actually needed to stew on his life decisions.
Airplane, that unreliable person, didn’t tell him that using chemical fertilizer would result in this side effect.
That was when he felt the earth shift around him, and several thumps. It went on and on. The fuck was this, a renovation? Shen Yuan endured it, unable to move, until light broke out and stung his eyes. He groaned and blinked. His sight was still adjusting to the fucking light and everything when he heard a chuckle.
The sound grated so much more when he saw the one digging him up.
“Good morning, sleeping beauty!” Shang Qinghua propped himself on his shovel and beamed. “Boy, did we miss you. These five years were a lot, I tell you!”
The first thing Shen Yuan said, once he finally got to move his mouth and tongue out of spite was, “Fuck you so much, Airplane!”
“And whoa, that’s a nice beard. Please remove it before Luo Binghe sees it - ah!” Shang Qinghua slipped and planted his face on the soil next to Shen Yuan's head.
Shen Yuan spent five minutes laughing at him.
He laughed too soon.
Misfortunes upon misfortunes heaped on Shen Yuan’s head. He was just hours into the first day of his renewed subscription to life and body but he already had to deal with the indignity of motherfucking Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky bridal carrying him out of the pit. Given that only his eyes, mouth and vocal chords were working, Shen Yuan unburdened all his misery on the hack author.
Shang Qinghua didn’t even look like he was bothered by Shen Yuan cursing all of his seven generations. No, the bastard was humming happily like a salaryman who suddenly got the mother of all raises.
“Don’t worry, bro! I have prepared a potion just in case you couldn’t move your muscles. Hang on just for a bit.”
“I’ll hang on your mother,” Shen Yuan grumbled. He wanted to swat Shang Qinghua’s face but his body was a dead fish that flopped in Shang Qinghua’s hold. He hoped that he was getting mud all over that expensive looking dark blue silk.
Wait a minute.
Did An Ding Peak suddenly switch colors or was Shang Qinghua boldly showing his allegiance to Mobei-jun?
“My parents have turned in their graves a hundred times in the past few minutes,” Shang Qinghua said, unperturbed. “My grandparents, too. Seriously, bro. Your mouth in real life can give sailors a run for their money.”
Shen Yuan ignored that. “Where the fuck are you taking me?”
“Well...” Shang Qinghua suddenly turned around so Shen Yuan’s flopping head was facing towards the direction they were heading.
Despite being up-side down, Shen Yuan clearly saw the structure up ahead. He knew the layout of that whole thing like the back of his hand, and seeing it outside Qing Jing Peak made him lightheaded.
“Bro,” Shen Yuan said slowly, “who the fuck unearthed my bamboo cottage and placed it in the middle of nowhere?”
“Er...Luo Binghe did.”
“He did what?”
“No, no, no. It’s just a joke,” Shang Qinghua laughed. “He decided to build you one so you can rest there after you got out.”
Struck mute, Shen Yuan didn’t scold the other man for his unfunny joke.
Shang Qinghua turned around again so Shen Yuan was left staring at the sky at treetops ahead. A part of him was melting like hot honey, and if he was back in his squishy mortal body, he would be burning red by now. Fuck. The protagonist didn’t do things by halves! How was he supposed to deny everything and blindside himself again when Luo Binghe went and did that?
Wife No. Seventy-eight’s dream pavilion that came true felt like a cartoonish child’s structure made of mud and sticks compared to this!
He stayed quiet until they crossed the threshold. Everything was the same as the original bamboo cottage down to the last decoration. He grumbled when Shang Qinghua settled him down on the daybed, mourning at the mud smearing everywhere. Shen Yuan bitterly swallowed the shame when the other had to help him rinse his mouth from the soil. He drank the potion, wincing at the sharp, astringent taste.
Just like every xianxia-made medicine, the effects were instant. The numbness and stiffness in his muscles and joints disappeared. Shen Yuan wiggled his fingers and toes. Once he made sure that everything was order, he realized that this body was bursting with so much qi that it was blinding.
Holy fuck. This was way too OP. Shen Qingqiu had an abundance of qi when he first moved in but that glory was cut short because of the Without a Cure. Now, he could go toe-to-toe with Luo Binghe without the fear of getting his face pounded into the dirt! Was this how those other transmigrators felt when they realized they were now occupying the bodies of the protagonists? The SYSTEM and Airplane bro owed him this with how much indignity Shen Yuan suffered.
“I forgive you,” he told Shang Qinghua magnanimously.
Shang Qinghua, who was fixing everything and wiping the mud away, blinked. “Okay? Thanks, I guess?”
Shen Yuan nodded at him, resisting the urge to disrespectfully pat his head.
“By the way, you’re going to like the other changes Luo Binghe made in this place.”
“What kind of changes?”
Shang Qinghua gave him a sly look and jerked his thumb in the hallway. “Like the bathroom in your bedroom. Bro, even the heavenly emperor doesn’t have that much luxury! You’re so fucking lucky.”
Shen Yuan didn’t need to hear anything else. He raced towards the direction Shang Qinghua pointed. And he almost tripped when he opened the door that wasn’t there in the original bamboo cottage.
A proper modern-inspired bathroom. One with a shower, a porcelain bathtub, sink, mirror and toilet. Faucets. Shen Yuan's knees trembled as he marveled at the sight. The only difference were the tiles, the material of the shower curtain, and the toiletries in the rack, but everything else was almost the same as his bathroom in his apartment.
Fuck, what did Binghe do to the kitchen? Surely, he wouldn’t have adopted the technology and appliances that fast. That would be so fucking cool and unscientific at the same time.
Still, Shen Yuan didn’t question the small graces afforded to him. He turned the array (holy fucking shit this thing was possible in PIDW?) to heat the water and just stayed under the hot spray of water to contemplate his life until his skin turned red. He hurriedly sluiced off the dirt and mud clinging to his skin and hair.
There were no new notifications from the SYSTEM. Take that! He crowed and gave it two middle fingers for good measure. I’m not going to install a virus like you again!
Even the towels resembled the ones he had.
Once he was finished, he padded to the sink and stared at his reflection. His face could barely be seen with that atrocious beard. However, he did look like a wizened immortal cultivator who ascended. In fact, the aesthetic made sense for the cryptid immortal living in a secret cave in a secluded mountain. Unfortunately, it had to go. There was a razor conveniently placed on the sink and he proceeded to do so.
Only to see his mortal face staring back at him.
Well, it wasn’t exactly the same. This body was originally made to resemble his original face so Luo Binghe wouldn’t recognize him. The resemblance to Shen Qingqiu was still there but he would be able to pass under Cang Qiong Mountain’s scrutiny. His original goal was a moot point now. He wondered if Luo Binghe would be disappointed that he didn’t have Shen Qingqiu’s face -
And he slapped himself.
What was he, a pining teenage girl who had to spend three hours in the mirror just to make the scum male lead look at her?
Shen Yuan - and oh, he might as well use that name now since Shen Qingqiu was dead and the only other choice was Peerless Cucumber - shuddered. He wrapped the bathrobe around himself tighter and slipped towards the bedroom.
While he wasn’t that attached to the layout of both bedrooms, seeing the tasteful mix in this bedroom made him take a double take. On second thought, it didn’t look bad, but to anyone who never lived in the modern world, the changes would make them scream. The bed, for one, had the traditional furnishings but the beddings and the abundant pillows reminded him of his apartment’s bedroom. It made him want to crawl in there and nap.
What made him stop and stare, however, was a miraculously whole Xiu Ya, lovingly cared for and placed on a beautifully carved sword stand. His hand hovered over it, feeling the familiar brush of its own qi. The sword nearly sang at his touch. Shen Yuan petted it and got ready.
He pulled on one of the simpler green robes and pants in the cabinet. Then he fixed his long (and oh god, he both missed and hated detangling it) hair into the usual half-up hairstyle, and grabbed one of the beautiful ornate fans from the displayed collection. Then he padded out and hunted Shang Qinghua. He found the man in the receiving room, reading a scroll, and already in a clean set of robes that were still in the same color scheme.
It brought on the question that he had been putting off since Shang Qinghua took him here. Where was Luo Binghe and why was Shang Qinghua here?
Shen Yuan cleared his throat, making Shang Qinghua jump.
“Why are you here?” He asked him.
Shang Qinghua’s shoulders slumped. He looked aggrieved as he put the scroll away. “Bro, Luo Binghe made me your caretaker when he's not available. I can’t get out of the place’s privacy and defense barriers without his permission so we’re basically stuck together. My king tried but he just bounced off the barriers.”
The mental image of the feared Mobei-jun bouncing off an invisible wall like a ping-pong ball made his face twitch. He took a seat across Shang Qinghua and picked a rice cake from the tray. It was too perfectly made to be done by no one else than Luo Binghe. Shen Yuan bit into it, making a delighted sound at the sweet taste of the filling. He fanned himself slowly and reclined into a more comfortable position. Ah, he missed this
“And where’s Binghe?”
Shang Qinghua sighed. “He’s on a campaign against the Western Ling and Song clans. They’ve been a pain in the ass and refused to submit without a fight. I already sent him a message that you’re awake so he’s going to be here in an hour or so.”
The reminder that he was going to face Luo Binghe after that... kiss made anticipation curdle in the pits of his stomach. But the names caught his attention.
Shen Yuan frowned. He remembered the Ling and Song demon clans from the West. Yes, they were supposed to resist Luo Binghe’s expansion of his rule, but wasn’t it too early? The only way that matter got settled was when the protagonist took the two princesses from the clans (who were sworn sisters) as his wives.
“A marriage would've solved that,” he said.
Shang Qinghua scoffed. “Who’d get in the way of your love story, bro? Half the world is thinking that you’d be miraculously reborn as a celestial fairy at this point and reunite with Luo Binghe. You bent my protagonist so he won’t look at a woman anymore!”
“You’re the author! You wrote him!” Shen Yuan couldn’t help but protest. “Why is it all my fault? Motherfuck, I should’ve known something was off because you got way more into writing the anal sex than the vaginal sex-”
“Aha! I knew you read the papapa!”
“Fuck you! I almost drank bleach when I read that scene!”
Shang Qinghua laughed nervously before he winced. “Well, there was the original draft prior to the finished version where the original Luo Binghe wasn't supposed to turn out like that -"
He called it! Shen Yuan knew something was up. It was all because of that motherfucking pandering!
Shang Qinghua waved his hand. "What does it matter? Those versions were mine. You, on the other hand, raised this one therefore you bent my protagonist! You even got engagement rings! I don’t even recognize the plot anymore. Bro, take some responsibility.”
Shen Yuan resignedly swallowed more of his violent protests and grumbled, “Those rings weren't supposed to be engagement rings... they were supposed to be promise rings. For brotherhood. And Luo Binghe was the one who wanted them first...”
A part of him died at how lame that sounded now. Shang Qinghua gave him a look full of judgment.
“Cucumber-bro, even I am not that stupid.”
They lapsed into uncomfortable silence. Shen Yuan stared at the walls of the room. The minutes dragged on until Shang Qinghua cleared his throat. His attention snapped back to the oddly serious expression on Shang Qinghua’s face.
“Now, Peerless Cucumber. You and I have accounts to settle.”
Shen Yuan could only blink at him.
“What?”
Shang lunged across the table. Shen Yuan deftly avoided him but Shang Qinghua grabbed his sleeves. A betrayed expression crossed Shang Qinghua’s face as he wailed, “Bro, how could you?”
Shen Yuan ripped himself away in shock. His fan dropped to the floor. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“You told my son everything!” Shang Qinghua cried. “I had to confess what you left out to him!”
And everything came tumbling out.
Because the moment Luo Binghe came back, he went to the Underground Palace and demanded Mobei-jun and Shang Qinghua’s presence. He had a bedroom cleared out and frozen for Shen Qingqiu’s corpse. After taking care of the corpse and placing him in his frozen grave, he cornered Shang Qinghua when he was finally alone and repeated what Shen Yuan said.
Upon hearing the protagonist say the words “Peerless Cucumber,” Shang Qinghua’s SYSTEM activated the command, Hide and Seek Game Over: Tell the Protagonist His Origin Story. Shang Qinghua came to the conclusion that Peerless Cucumber fessed up and told Luo Binghe the truth of his life and how he came to be, sans the SYSTEM.
The aftermath wasn’t pretty.
Shang Qinghua had to watch the protagonist forcibly reign in a qi-deviation by reaching into his sleeves and procuring a photograph. He could hear Luo Binghe muttering brokenly, “So that’s why... those posters... those pillows... he loves me. Yuan-gege... it makes sense now.... was all for me.”
Then, as if injected by chicken blood, he grabbed Shang Qinghua and ordered him to spill all the beans about the mushroom body and the place where it was located. Shang Qinghua, terrified of his life, did. Luo Binghe spent the entire evening lying next to where Shen Yuan's mushroom body was buried, whispering promises to himself and crying. It took Shang Qinghua a week to convince Luo Binghe to get up, and that Shen Yuan would be safe here. And then another week to convince Luo Binghe that no, replanting the mushroom body to another location would be detrimental to the mushroom body’s growth.
But all this time, Luo Binghe still preferred to sleep right next to the mushroom body.
Shang Qinghua bitterly complained that he had to talk Luo Binghe down from experimenting with the mushroom body to make Shen Yuan grow faster and healthier. Apparently, that was one of the most difficult things he had to do in his life because the protagonist was volatile and touchy about anything happening to Shen Yuan.
And things became an avalanche from that point on. To summarize, these were the major plot points that happened in the five years:
As if taking advantage of his plot armor, Luo Binghe’s actions were drastic and mildly terrifying. He ditched Xin Mo now that he knew what it wanted him to do and its effects on his psyche and cultivation. He managed to get ahold of the remains of Zheng Yang to reforge that sword again.
He also reunited with the family members Airplane himself cut out of the plot. After nearly killing his cousin for the shit he pulled with Shen Yuan, he met his father.
Luo Binghe, for some reason, got it into his head to form an alliance with Tianlang-jun. He offered the dying heavenly demon a way to procure another body that was compatible with a demon’s constitution as long as they destroy Huan Hua Palace; and to legitimize his rule in the demon realm without question. Tianlang-jun took it, giving up his throne as long as his revenge came to fruition.
The cultivation world was still reeling after Shen Qingqiu’s death and dramatic sacrifice. Its foundations were shaken harder when Luo Binghe made his appearance again and demanded a trial against the Huan Hua Palace Master for the crimes against Su Xiyan, the lies about Tianlang-jun that he poisoned them with, and his unlawful accusations against Shen Qingqiu which led to the latter’s death. The entire sects arrived to witness the spectacle, with Cang Qiong Mountain Sect loudly demanding Shen Qingqiu’s corpse back.
But Tianlang-jun strode in and everything went to shit once an OP mirror of truth was used.
Huan Hua Palace was now Luo Binghe’s as part of his retribution. Its master and young mistress were gone (but they were actually used as living fertilizers in Luo Binghe’s “eternal life utopia garden” as Shang Qinghua said, along with Qiu Haitang). Those who remained submitted to Luo Binghe’s rule.
Most of the sects were spared as an act of grace. Even the Cang Qiong Mountain Sect who was loudly decrying Luo Binghe. An amused Tianlang-jun only demanded Shen Qingqiu’s corpse to be in Luo Binghe’s care as payment. Liu Qingge fought back but lost, and he would do so again and for countless times but he never won. Yue Qingyuan, cornered as he was, bitterly acquiesced.
That corpse still remained in its icy grave till this day because Luo Binghe kept it just in case the mushroom body failed.
But it did clear their names - even Shen Qingqiu’s. Tianlang-jun was free to travel in and out between the two realms, often seen gossiping in the markets, inns and browsing questionable books. Though the Cang Qiong Mountain Sect disciples and even Qing Jing Peak’s still looked like a sour lemon whenever Luo Binghe was mentioned, they didn’t dare provoke or get into trouble with them.
But it didn't just stop there.
Luo Binghe’s expansion and his rise to power in the demon realm went faster and smoother than in Proud Immortal Demon Way's canon. Alliances were made even without marriage and pillow talks involved. Any offers of concubines were turned away violently. Tianlang-jun rising from his prison, acknowledging his son and chucking the throne in his direction, as well as Luo Binghe proving himself to be too fucking overpowered for any real challengers, helped. Trades had been established, though they were still tentative, between demons and humans.
Luo Binghe was speedrunning through so many plot points and powering up as if he was in an Olympic race.
And he was steadily milking Shang Qinghua on the villains he should defeat, which allies would be beneficial in the future, which treasure would be important, etc.
Shen Yuan could only sit back in shock.
His ears were ringing.
“Do you know that he had us scrambling for every spiritual plant, beast, treasures and artifacts that will heal every sickness, prolong anyone’s lifespan or give them eternal life? Luo Binghe literally carved and made an eternal life utopia garden in the Underground Palace for you! He figured out how to filter the demonic qi and change the climate in that area! The gods are weeping in envy at you! Even Mu Qingfang was tempted to switch sides because he wanted to study them!” Shang Qinghua paced in front of him. “Which brings us to the sects, big and small, begging Luo Binghe for an alliance just so he could give them even a teeny tiny supply of those things. There are ascended immortals who descended just to ask for his favor, bro.”
And the cultivation world was torn in half about it. On one hand, there were rumors that Luo Binghe was power-hungry and wanted to achieve immortality and cheat death. Some even said that he wanted to control the trade of those plants, beasts, treasures, etc.
The second one said it was because of his master, who according to the rumors, was either in a long coma or going to be revived from the dead. For Luo Binghe was so lovelorn that he would defy fate to bring Shen Qingqiu back!
That second one was gaining more and more traction as the days went by with how often Luo Binghe spoke of his master.
Anyone who heard it should be spitting blood!
Shang Qinghua rounded on Shen Yuan. “He even had the Eternal Life of Two Souls Entwined ritual in case because, and I quote, “Since this lord is the protagonist of this world, then who else would be invincible and worthy enough for Yuan-gege to bind his soul to?” Bro, you gave my son a complex.”
The Eternal Life of Two Souls Entwined ritual was a throwaway plot device that never got explored. Once the ritual was done, the people who did it would link their souls forever and through how many reincarnations they went through. Somewhat of a self-made soulmate trope. Luo Binghe in Proud Immortal Demon Way never used it.
Shen Yuan stared at Shang Qinghua blankly as the man whined that the only positive side about Luo Binghe making him an adviser was Mobei-jun no longer beating him and appreciating him instead.
The only thing that came out of Shen Yuan's mouth was:
“You got it all wrong.”
Shang Qinghua, still in the middle of bemoaning his life and waving his arms around frantically, paused. Slowly, he pivoted on his heels until he was facing Shen Yuan. His mouth opened and closed like a fish five more times before he blurted, “Huh?!”
Shen Yuan fisted his robes, knuckles turning white. He felt so distant. As if everything was floating away from him. “I told Binghe to ask you about the Sun-Moon Dew Mushroom body. He only knew about that. He was never meant to know about his origins.” His gaze shifted to the ceiling. “My SYSTEM would’ve punished me if I told him about the novel..."
There was a loud thump.
Shang Qinghua fell into his seat, slumping on it gracelessly.
They stared at each other for a long while.
Shang Qinghua turned into several shades of white and purple. He pointed a quivering finger in Shen Yuan's face. "You - you -"
Shen Yuan smacked that finger away.
"You're fucking with me. You said that he knows everything and that he should ask me. You gave him your ID, bro. You instructed him as "Peerless Cucumber" not as Shen Yuan or as the original goods. When he said your ID, my SYSTEM identified that as-" Shang Qinghua dropped to the floor, boneless. "Bro, what the fuck."
"Well, don't blame me for wording it like that! I was in the middle of-" Shen Yuan gestured something nonsensical in the air, the flush now breaking out when he remembered the kiss.
Shang Qinghua heaved a deep breath and scrubbed his face with his hands. "What the fuck."
"What the fuck," Shen Yuan repeated. He felt the hysterical laughter break out of him.
"Yes. Laugh all you want. I was suffering near heart attacks left and right these past five years because the protagonist was ruining the plot while you slept," Shang Qinghua whined. "But congrats to you. You actually maneuvered the whole shit to be a little closer to my original draft than what's possible."
Another hysterical laughter bubbled out of Shen Yuan. Their eyes met and then the two started howling in laughter at the utter ridiculousness of their situations.
"This is fucking stupid," Shen Yuan said, wiping his eyes. A giant boulder was lifted off his chest. It felt like freedom. "Please tell me you called Binghe your son in his face!"
Shang Qinghua made a face. "God, do you think I want to die that bad? He doesn't even call Tianlang-jun father. Imagine if Tianlang-jun heard me say that, I'd be fighting a custody battle!"
Shen Yuan snorted but he couldn't help but ask, "Does anyone else know?"
"No, it's only the protagonist," Shang Qinghua suddenly winced. "The SYSTEM will whoop my ass if someone else hears. Luo Binghe understands and he didn’t want his ‘cheat code’ dead so-” he shrugged.
You deserve it, Shen Yuan half-heartedly thought. "I still can't believe that your SYSTEM allowed you to tell Binghe."
Shang Qinghua sighed. "Because it's one of my author privileges."
"Some privilege," Shen Yuan agreed.
"I still can't believe you bent the protagonist, and affected him so much he turned my entire plot around its head. Like a fucking fix-it fanfic," Shang Qinghua grumbled. "I thought he went crazy because he laughed so hard for fifteen minutes straight when I told him about the harem."
Shen Yuan gave him a snide grin. Shang Qinghua was lucky that Luo Binghe didn't bring up his challenge of dueling every single one of his wives to death. "Oh fuck off, Airplane-bro. You gave him trauma and a tragic backstory with poorly written straight papapa-"
"At least it gave him some character."
Shen Yuan just gave him the finger when his eyes fell on an addition on Shang Qinghua's hand.
"Nice ring," Shen Yuan said. It was a fancy thing paved with blue gemstones and diamonds.
Speaking of, where was Shen Yuan's ring?
Shang Qinghua startled and looked down at his left hand as if he just remembered. "Oh, thanks. It's from my king. He said it was an allegiance ring."
All the grace Shen Yuan felt for Shang Qinghua fled him.
My ring is an engagement ring but yours is an allegiance ring? Not stupid, my ass. Airplane, you stupid gay fuck-
Suddenly, there was a ripple in the air, barely felt by anyone with a lower cultivational level. Shen Yuan's hairs stood on their ends as he felt the shift of power in the air. His heart jumped in the cage of his chest, already knowing who just arrived with the beat of his heart. He hurriedly stood from his sprawl, mirroring Shang Qinghua.
Shang Qinghua nervously fixed his clothes. "He's here."
Barely a second later, he heard the doors slide open and light but fast footsteps. Shen Yuan raised his head in time to see Luo Binghe appear in the doorway.
And all the air in his lungs left him. Somehow, it was only the two of them. He barely heard Shang Qinghua excuse himself and leave with Mobei-jun. His eyes were on Luo Binghe and only on Luo Binghe.
A sudden unwelcome pinging intruded in the moment. Pissed off at the interruption, Shen Yuan mentally slammed the mute notification function and dismissed the SYSTEM. There was time to deal with that shit later because at this moment, the most important thing was in front of him.
He grew up, was the first thing Shen Yuan thought and almost slapped himself. Of course Luo Binghe did. Five years had passed since he last saw him!
The softness faded into the sharpness of adulthood. His cheeks, nose, and jawline were more defined. His shoulders were wider, waist more tapered. The way he held himself also changed. There was a confidence that crept in the room slowly but once everyone noticed him, it was hard to look away. While he was still oozing charisma, the one he had now commandeered the room.
This was the emperor of the demon realm.
But the look in those dark and starry eyes was still Shen Yuan's Binghe.
An immeasurable pride and sadness rose in Shen Yuan's chest at the same time just as a big fat teardrop rolled down Luo Binghe's cheek.
"Binghe," he whispered and opened his arms.
Luo Binghe dove forward but hesitated for a split second.
"I'm bloody," Luo Binghe whispered, almost ashamed. "Shizun… Yuan-gege shouldn't dirty himself."
Oh, this boy, Shen Yuan thought with fond exasperation that tore him to pieces. Where was this hesitation when he planted a kiss on Shen Yuan? They were cultivators. Blood was the least of their worries.
"And I was covered in soil up to my bits earlier, Binghe. We can argue on who is dirtier until the sun sets and I can assure you that spending five years buried in literal dirt means that I win. Come here."
With a wail of his name, Luo Binghe rushed forward and swept him off his feet. He squeezed Shen Yuan tightly, crowding so close there was barely space between them. He was sobbing wetly and heavily against the crook of Shen Yuan's neck. They fell down into a heap at the floor, a mimicry of their first hour back at the apartment with Luo Binghe folding himself to fit in Shen Yuan's lap and arms.
Through the gasps of "You're here, you're here" and the desperation in Luo Binghe's own hold, Shen Yuan rubbed circles on his back. He could smell the acrid tang of the battlefield, blood and sweat, but all under it was Binghe.
Fuck himself for thinking that their encounter would ever be awkward because the earth could move backwards today but Shen Yuan would always find his feet being pulled in Luo Binghe's direction. Again and again and again until the world under their feet shattered.
How could he ever hope to hide and stay away?
When all was said and done, they found themselves cleaned and snuggling under the covers of the bed. Luo Binghe procured two sweatshirts and gray pajamas which he somehow got Shang Qinghua to make. He even got a pair of cucumber-themed socks for Shen Yuan. In the end, Shen Yuan didn’t care to think about the logistics. So what if it was just after midday and he was lazing in bed? He was warm and comfortable. As cliche as it sounded, the world somehow ceased to exist except for them and the space between them.
They were lying face to face since Luo Binghe whined when Shen Yuan turned his back on him. The only problem was the constant staring. Despite closing his eyes, Shen Yuan still felt that burning stare on his face.
“Close your eyes, Binghe,” he muttered.
He felt Luo Binghe shift, and the hand around his wrist tightened for a moment. It didn’t hurt, though.
“Begging Yuan-gege’s forgiveness but I’m unable to keep my eyes off you.”
Shen Yuan huffed, a hint of embarrassment crawling under his skin. “You’re burning a hole in my forehead. This is worse than your staring in the car.”
Luo Binghe laughed softly. “Yet we’re not in the car and there is no danger of getting distracted. This disciple prays that shizun will let him indulge.”
Shen Yuan peeked at him. “Is this master so physically different that you have to keep looking?”
Luo Binghe shifted even closer. “No! It’s... fascinating. You look your original self but at the same time you look like... shizun. It doesn’t matter which body you occupy but this one is just happy to still see traces of Yuan-gege’s face.”
Shen Yuan hummed in response, resisting the urge to hide his face under his pillow. Luo Binghe looked so peaceful and dreamy as if he hadn’t just come from the battle. “You left the battlefield so quickly. Aren’t you worried that it will affect your victory?”
“The Song and Ling clans have surrendered. Zhuzi-lang and Sha Hualing can handle the rest. You are more important.”
Shen Yuan’s face cracked. His cheeks flared hot. He couldn’t help smacking Luo Binghe’s chest and shoving him away. “Binghe!”
Luo Binghe didn’t budge, instead, a god-forbid indulgent smile spread across his handsome features. Shen Yuan wanted to climb back into his pit and shovel dirt on top of himself. He should have stayed buried when he had the chance!
“Between my shizun and a petty war, this one knows which is worth the entire world.” Luo Binghe touched Shen Yuan's cheek tenderly.
Fuck. Shen Yuan wanted to vomit his entire heart out. He turned on his other side and stared resolutely at the wall. Fucking hell, he could bear being tortured by the original protagonist without having his poise broken, but faced with this Luo Binghe’s.... flirtations? This was worse!
“Shizun, shizun, Yuan-gege,” the sing-song tone brought shivers down his spine. Luo Binghe slunk next to him and caged Shen Yuan in his arms. His mouth was next to Shen Yuan’s ear as he whispered, “Pay attention to me.”
“Are you a child? You’re a grown man now, stop acting sticky!” Shen Yuan elbowed him as he complained. It was gentler than he used to do, given how massively overpowered his current body was. He didn’t want to deal with accidentally elbowing the protagonist through several walls!
Luo Binghe’s grip tightened and said, in a plaintive tone, “I miss you.”
Instantly, all the fighting and mortification left Shen Yuan. He softened. “Binghe has suffered.”
He felt Luo Binghe shaking his head against his neck. “It’s alright. This path is better. Binghe made it better.”
Shen Yuan swallowed the lump in his throat. How could he forget? This sticky disciple of his worked so hard in the past five years. The original blackened protagonist couldn’t compare to his Binghe. He turned around again and poked Luo Binghe’s forehead. “Yes, you did. This master is proud of everything that Binghe has achieved.”
Luo Binghe closed his watering eyes and buried his face against Shen Yuan’s head. Shen Yuan patted him until he managed to calm down again. Ah, some things never changed. Maiden Luo would always be a crybaby.
They lapsed into a few more minutes of cuddling before Luo Binghe suddenly moved to sit. Shen Yuan, still in a haze, squinted as the man pulled something out of seemingly thin air. Oh, he thought as he saw the platinum band resting on Luo Binghe’s palm. He plopped himself against the headboard and let Luo Binghe take his left in his.
“This disciple apologizes for forgetting to give this back. I kept it safe for you all this time.”
Shen Yuan curled his fingers over the cool metal.
Luo Binghe suddenly dropped his gaze to the bed and he said, “Despite what Shang-shishu is saying, our rings don’t have to mean the same thing for Yuan-gege.”
“What are you saying?”
Luo Binghe swallowed, plush lips trembling in a way which signaled he was on the verge of crying again. “Our rings don’t need to stand for an engagement. It can be anything that you want. This disciple - this disciple understands -”
“But what does Binghe want?”
Luo Binghe dropped his head and his knuckles turned white against the sheets. “Shizun already knows the answer to it.”
Shen Yuan sat up straight. Fuck it, he thought. This wasn’t the worst and most questionable thing he’d ever do. He stared at Luo Binghe’s form and never felt more sure in his life. “Then so be it.”
Luo Binghe’s head shot up. The plain shock and hope across his face sent a pang in Shen Yuan’s heart. Luo Binghe suddenly toppled off the bed. Shen Yuan yelped, scrambling to catch him before he hit his head, but the protagonist righted himself and was instantly kneeling beside the bed. He grasped Shen Yuan’s hand with shining eyes.
“What - what are you doing -” Shen Yuan spluttered.
Luo Binghe tilted his head, confused. “Kneeling? Yuan-gege, you said that this is how it goes -”
Shen Yuan squawked. “I don’t need you to do that! Get up - come back here!”
He hauled Luo Binghe back, entire flaming crimson. He didn’t need Luo Binghe to kneel before him. Even the idea was preposterous. Besides, what Luo Binghe did, what he accomplished, spoke more than simply going through the actions because that was expected of him.
“Besides,” Shen Yuan grumbled, “I should be the one doing the kneeling. Luo Binghe, I’m no woman to be treated like that-”
“Then let’s kneel to each other!” Was Luo Binghe’s enthusiastic solution.
Shen Yuan quietly admitted defeat.
Which was how they both found themselves kneeling in front of each other, with Shen Yuan stuttering and awkwardly asking the question. His face would never recover from the redness. Getting engaged over dating casually? His traditional grandparents would be proud of him.
They exchanged rings, Luo Binghe valiantly holding back his tears and failing to hide his sniffling. Luo Binghe knocked him down on the covers and gave him a wet and biting kiss.
Shen Yuan touched Luo Binghe’s cheek and tried to guide him to kiss him more properly. Luo Binghe’s hand somehow found its way inside his shirt, startling Shen Yuan who gasped at the burning contact.
If they spent their entire afternoon rolling around in the sheets like a bunch of horny virgin teenagers then who the fuck would judge them?
Morning came with a gentle lull. Luo Binghe served breakfast in bed, shirtless and glowing in the light of day. Shen Yuan ignored the dark hickies the protagonist was hell-bent on displaying to no one but him. They were just enjoying eating fried chicken when a series of enthusiastic knocks interrupted the syrupy haze between them.
Luo Binghe sat up from his lounging. His eyes blazed red. Shen Yuan frowned at the interruption.
A loud and unfamiliar voice called out, “Son! Come quick, don’t make your old man wait here in the cold. I want to meet my son-in-law!”
Realization sunk in like cold water to the face. Shen Yuan saw Luo Binghe drop his head into his palm with a frustrated groan. “Binghe, is that your father?”
“Yes,” Luo Binghe said, pained. “He will leave if we ignore him. Yuan-gege shouldn’t pay attention to him-”
The knocking ceased. “Hey, I heard that, unfilial son of mine! Son-in-law, tell that boy to respect his elders. I’m sure you raised him better than that!”
Luo Binghe growled. “Leave! Yuan-gege and I are busy!”
“Well, this old man sure hopes that you’re busy making me a grandchild, otherwise, I’ll be so disappointed in you. Oh, make it a dragon-phoenix birth so our line will finally be lucky!” Tianlang-jun laughed. “Son-in-law, if you need help, your father-in-law has several dual cultivation pamphlets!”
Shen Yuan choked.
“And if my son isn’t pleasing you, tell your good old father-in-law so I can teach him a thing or two. You humans are fragile so you need a softer touch. Except, of course, my dearest Xiyan-”
Luo Binghe bolted out of the bed. He began pulling on a spare robe and tying it with more force than necessary. “How were you even able to get past the barriers?!”
Luo Binghe shot Shen Yuan an apologetic look then leaned in to kiss his forehead. Shen Yuan accepted it without a word, still shell-shocked at the audacity of this demon knocking on their door first thing in the morning.
“Eh, those things were meant to keep me out?” More loud laughter. “You’re too easily distracted, son. You left one of the keys open! Come on, it’s cold. I also brought a portion of the betrothal gifts. Have some mercy on my old bones!”
Luo Binghe stalked out the door in a hurricane of fury.
Shen Yuan managed to collect himself quickly and made himself decent because like hell was he going to meet the protagonist’s mysterious father looking like he just tumbled the man’s son! The sounds of scuffling became louder as he drew nearer, punctuated with laughter and Luo Binghe’s voice rising in volume. Shen Yuan stared out the lawn, watching the two heavenly demons wrestle. The strange demon, Tianlang-jun, had Luo Binghe in a headlock and was giving him a -
A noogie.
The sight was so strange that Shen Yuan had to grip the doorway.
Luo Binghe snarled when he failed to get away from Tianlang-jun’s grip.
So this was the strength of a full-blooded celestial demon!
Both of their heads snapped when they finally realized that they were being watched. Tianlang-jun’s large and profound eyes, which resembled Luo Binghe’s, lit up. A smile that Shen Yuan saw a lot on Luo Binghe’s face appeared.
Shen Yuan was hit by a wave of vertigo. The resemblance was uncanny!
Tianlang-jun dropped Luo Binghe and suddenly appeared in front of Shen Yuan and then he was being crushed into a hug. He raised his hands in surprise, stumbling back.
“There you are! My son’s stingy for keeping you from me.” Tianlang-jun pulled back and observed Shen Yuan, his grin widening further. His overbearing aura doubled. “Oh my. You’re prettier than those songs claimed. A cold beauty like my Xiyan. Son, you definitely got your tastes from me. I approve-”
Tianlang-jun was suddenly ripped away from him and thrown over the courtyard. Luo Binghe stepped in front of Shen Yuan, shielding him. “Keep your hands off him!”
Tianlang-jun landed on his feet and threw his head back, cackling.
Shen Yuan stared at the father and son duo who resumed their (mostly friendly) bickering. He donned on his immortal and cool peak lord persona and urged Luo Binghe to invite his father inside while half-heartedly scolding him for treating his father that way.
As he watched the two squabble, he thought to himself, well. This whole thing was something he certainly never imagined before he self-detonated but somehow, the future in this path was a million times better than what he originally envisioned for them.
Notes:
Writing notes:
1. flowers = pretty girls; grasses = handsome boys
2. Injected with chicken blood = become crazy or obsessed
3. Dragon-phoenix birth = male and female twins are seen as good omens in Chinese culturei hope that this whole thing made sense ahaha. TLJ snuck in there and i just can't help writing him in. he's going to be the most insufferable father in law who would dote on the in-law over his son and demand grandbabies whenever he visits. also, half of the song of bingqiu headcanons came from him
and yes, SY does return the fake guanyin to LBH in the future.
[EDIT ffs bc i forgot:
lbh brought the ff: the photos from the photobooth, the ring, and the plushie which is the most important piece in the treasury room in the underground palace.]anyway, thank you so much for reading and have a good day (or night). please take care ❤️
Chapter 7: Extra Part 1: build you a fort on some planet
Notes:
imagine confidently claiming that your fic is finished. only to re-read it almost a year later and realizing that wait. it doesn't, in fact, feel finished and you get haunted by the what ifs.
guess who just did that.
i'm so sorry.
anywaay, a massive thank you to everyone who read and gave their love to this fic. this extra is dedicated to you ❤️
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It took a few weeks of isolated bliss (broken by random visits from Airplane and Tianlang-jun) in their bamboo cottage before Shen Yuan got the itch to venture out into the world. While he understood why Luo Binghe wanted to keep him there (and no, Shang Qinghua, he wasn’t getting fucking attic-wifed so shut the hell up and keep your kinks away from this sacred place) for a certain amount of time to keep him safe and to acclimate with this new body...well.
It wasn’t like he was going to ever get tired of Luo Binghe’s company. They could be two bed bugs living off each other and rotting together and he wouldn’t complain much. In fact, this was the vacation he had been dreaming of after the stress-induced arcs he just went through: no responsibilities, no disciples in danger of getting tripped up by the plot, no SYSTEM missions, the freedom to just laze in bed, good food, good company, and books. Not to mention that he had his eternally charged phone and infinite access to the Internet!
Despite the fact that he was restricted from interacting with anyone from his previous world, he still had his webnovels, movies and mobile games! He didn’t even need to pay since the SYSTEM was paying for his subscriptions and purchases! Talk about getting spoiled like a fucking sugar baby. He was living a wet dream.
The days passed like a fluffy beach episode. Shen Yuan had never been this pampered in his entire two lives. Or had been this fucked because wow, being the sole recipient of the stallion protagonist’s vitality wasn’t for the faint of heart. Thank fuck for the SYSTEM’s lube and this body’s OPness because he would have been sore and chaffed to hell and back. He barely scrounged up the strength to put a pause on the papapa because one pleading look and Shen Yuan was folding and bending on the nearest surface. It was a good thing that Luo Binghe had magic hands so any soreness was massaged away skillfully no matter how much Shen Yuan grumbled mulishly.
But aside from their....bedroom adventures, Luo Binghe indulged him in other ways. The domestic househusband god shtick from a slice-of-life and feel-good story was back in full force. The original Luo Binghe had nothing on this version. Fuck, Shen Yuan felt sorry for the flowers in this world because they could never experience this treatment from the bent protagonist.
However, the itch lingered.
Sue Shen Yuan but he was too fucking curious about how the circumvented plot affected the world during the five years he was away. Though Luo Binghe patiently answered the thousand and one questions about how he beat the shit out of the plot and made it his bitch, experiencing it firsthand was better, right?
Also, dates.
It was Shen Yuan’s responsibility to take his fiancé out on dates. Good gods, they only went on two (but did they really count if he wasn’t aware that he was in one?) and got engaged before they were even dating. Well, it could be worse. He could have been engaged to someone his whole life without the person.
It was funny how a few weeks ago, the idea of the stallion protagonist being his fiance would have sent him into a qi deviation-induced conniption or had him falling on Xiu Ya. While he still couldn’t say it casually without his face breaking into flames, he was starting to get used to the idea. This was his reality now and he wasn’t going to complain to the managers about it. At least he fixed the novel's plotline no matter how much that hack author bemoaned about getting wrung dry for cheat codes.
Which brought up the question that he had been dodging: how were they going to introduce Shen Yuan to the world?
It was Shang Qinghua who dared to voice that after his latest visit. Luo Binghe had to go back to the demon realm to settle some political shit so Shang Qinghua was “babysitting” again. Well, ay least it wasn’t Tianlang-jun keeping him company because Shen Yuan couldn’t deal with him at the moment without dying from shame.
Of course Shen Yuan hardly minded Tianlang-jun’s company under the usual circumstances. The older demon was interesting given how he wasn’t even mentioned in Proud Immortal Demon Way so observing him and his interactions with Luo Binghe was really something.
That was if Tianlang-jun wasn’t teasing the two of them, praising Su Xiyan, reminding them about his grandchildren, or talking about the newest sordid romance novel that caught his eye.
Though Shen Yuan’s face was tested time and time again because of the older man’s shamelessness and rambling about something called “regret of something mountain” (which he heavily deleted from his brain). Until Shen Yuan accidentally made a dick joke which sent the older man’s toppling from his chair and denting the floor with his head because of how hard he was laughing.
In Shen Yuan’s defense, it was Tianlang-jun’s fault for bringing up demon naming traditions while pondering the names of his “hypothetical grandbabies.”
Because Shen Yuan's brain filter had taken a beating from listening to the older demon’s rambling and the strong-ass demonic liquor, his tongue slipped and with all seriousness, asked if Luo Binghe would have been named “Heavenly Pillar-Jun” if he was raised in the demon realm.
Luo Binghe banned his father again for ruining the floor.
Shen Yuan, regretfully, remembered everything after the mother of a hangover, and swore that he would never drink again or look Tianlang-jun in the eye. He hid himself underneath the covers for a whole day and only peeked out when Luo Binghe started crying.
There went his respectability and standing in the eyes of his father-in-law. He didn’t even have the courage to read the letter Tianlang-jun sent him, even though Luo Binghe assured him that his father didn’t mind Shen Yuan’s blunder.
Therefore, Shang Qinghua was the only one allowed inside their haven, for now, so Shen Yuan had no choice but to deal with him and that question.
To be perfectly honest, Shen Yuan had no qualms about letting Shen Qingqiu stay dead. The sect could function well without him as it did since he was being grown in the soil. Ming Fan and the others had managed his peak perfectly in his absence.
A part of him did miss his peak and his disciples, but the past is past and he already did his job. Poking at the anthill would invite more ants to emerge from it to bite his ass. How the fuck were they even going to explain the whole shit in the first place without breaking the SYSTEM’s NDA? Airplane-bro’s author privileges only extended to Luo Binghe.
So what if Shen Yuan was going to be the demon emperor’s faceless and nameless spouse? It wasn’t like people needed to know who he really was! And he was in no hurry to reveal his identity either! He knew that it would only invite trouble and paint a huge red target on his forehead if word got out about who he was and his relationship with Luo Binghe!
That was a problem that Shen Yuan was shelving for the future. It also included the corpse in the freezer because haha, that was a problem for future Shen Yuan to solve. He had all the time in the world to think of solutions.
So, after dragging Shang Qinghua’s ass by making pointed comments about the new ring tradition and when they were going to make the “allegiance” official, he kicked the man out the moment Luo Binghe came back from the demon realm.
However, before he could breach that topic, Luo Binghe, who was in the middle of preparing a bowl of Celestial Snow Peaches, asked, “Would Yuan-ge like to visit the Underground Palace with me?”
Shen Yuan paused his game and looked up from his place at the countertop. Luo Binghe’s back was turned from him but the set of those beautiful shoulders told him that the protagonist was acting fucking shy.
“Fuck yes,” he said though he really should try to reign his mouth in by now. Judging by how little Luo Binghe twitched at the profanity, the other had gotten used to what he signed up for. “Will Binghe show me his garden?”
There was a dirty joke in there but Shen Yuan angrily threw that line of thought away. He wasn't about to corrupt his protagonist with crude sex jokes!
Luo Binghe turned around and placed the bowl of artfully sliced peaches in front of Shen Yuan. Before Shen Yuan could dig in, the protagonist held up a slice of the peach with that knee-weakening smile of his. Shen Yuan dutifully ate one to tamp down his flush. Damn this body for inheriting his mortal body’s thin skin.
The peach was sweet and refreshing. It was a fresh harvest from from said garden. In PIDW Chapter 3001, this peach was nearly extinct when a flower demoness almost ended her life to save it. Of course she became another wife but her arc was more of a filler one. However, the fruit was a favorite in the harem so yes, he was dearly acquainted with it.
“Whatever Yuan-ge wants,” Luo Binghe vowed, “whether it is my heart, my soul, an immortal treasure, this lowly one shall provide.”
“Binghe…”
Fucking hell. This was his life now. Charming declarations that will leave any woman soft and shaking; cheesy vows that only protagonists could pull off without sounding cringey.
R.I.P to his nonchalance. It was nice knowing you.
Shen Yuan merely pinched Luo Binghe’s cheek, and re-focused on his game.
Luo Binghe pulled away with a satisfied little hum. “And whatever is mine is also yours. That garden is also Yuan-ge’s.”
That will only legally apply if we’re married, Shen Yuan grumbled but he didn’t dare say it out loud. Not yet unless he wanted to be married right this fucking instant. Not that there was anything wrong with it. He was pretty sure that they were endgame at this point, but what’s wrong with taking things slow?
The main boss finally died. Shen Yuan grabbed Luo Binghe and planted a kiss on his lips. As predicted, his Maiden Luo turned a pretty cherry blossom pink.
Ha!
Today’s winner of “Who Did the Cringiest Romantic Thing” was Shen Yuan again. He had been the undefeated champion ever since he returned the fake jade pendant. Take that, Binghe. You couldn't beat the master!
The Underground Palace, according to PIDW, was a massive palace complex with the combined aesthetic of “excavated subterranean caves” and traditional architecture. Shen Yuan saw its depictions in the official art, manhua, game, and in the developing anime. Even the original text had thousands of words describing it. Unlike the other structures in the demon realm, this one actually had natural sunlight filtering through.
Seeing it in person, however, was different.
It didn’t look “demonic” in its interior design. According to Shang Qinghua, Luo Binghe actually tried to make the interior more “elegant to fit his shizun’s taste.” So the Underground Palace he was standing in now was more…refined than it originally was. It did somehow resemble the Forbidden City in those historical dramas.
Shen Yuan eyed the murals.
Those paintings certainly looked like they were made by immortals and celestial maidens instead of demons.
Huh.
Shen Yuan composed himself, covering his face with his fan. It was too late, Luo Binghe already saw his immediate reaction.
Luo Binghe offered his hand for Shen Yuan to take. His smile is as gentle and hopeful as a summer breeze.
The demon guards who were at the sidelines inhaled sharply.
Shen Yuan’s eye twitched but he dared not embarrass Luo Binghe in front of his subordinates by rejecting him. So he took Luo Binghe’s hand and let him guide him down the stone hallways. The portal behind them closed.
Holy shit, Shen Yuan thought. He was in Luo Binghe’s Palace! So many things happened here!
They walked through the winding maze of corridors lit by rows and rows of pearl lamps. Every once in a while, Shen Yuan would recognize an artifact and subconsciously stay rooted at the spot to admire it. Luo Binghe would then shyly recount how he acquired it through a) a conquest, b) an alliance, c) stumbled upon it, or d) finding it after an arc that happened years too early.
His speed-running protagonist, Shen Yuan lamented to himself. On one hand, he was proud of Luo Binghe for using his cheat code AKA Airplane-bro as he should. On the other hand…
Case in point, the menacing golden blade decorating the wall.
“You mean, the tiger demon lord just surrendered it to you without making you go through the twelve trials?” Shen Yuan whispered incredulously. The Golden Wind Blade Arc was one of the longest arcs in PIDW chiefly because of the twelve trials that the fucking hack author copied from the Labours of Hercules. The only difference was that the original stallion protagonist managed to acquire a wife after each trial, and at the end of that arc, won over the tiger demon lord’s daughter who was helping him like Ariadne helped Theseus.
To add the the hack author's usual spin, all of that shit happened because of one misunderstanding which led to Luo Binghe betting that if he won the trials, it would mean that he was innocent and he would get the legendary Golden Wind Blade that could topple down a kingdom when wielded. Which the tiger demon lord himself owned.
Luo Binghe said, “I told him that it was his minister who killed his brother, and gave him the proof.”
The proof, which was a missive written in the Eastern region’s code and in invisible ink. The one the original had been trying to fruitlessly decode but had lost because he entrusted it to one of his henchmen. All because he got waylaid seducing his new corporal who was actually an assassin from an enemy tribe. The fact that getting it back was a major plot in the arc which was forgotten because the tiger demon lord’s daughter’s words were more believable pissed Shen Yuan off.
Fucking hell.
His Luo Binghe merely delivered that missive himself and saved himself the trouble.
Shen Yuan, who had spent an entire evening criticizing the entire arc as stupid, unnecessary and downright pandering ripoff of the legends, inhaled deeply. While he could have forgiven Shang Qinghua for that, the knowledge that everything was clearly a barely thought of plot in order to add more women to the harem made him see red. Now, he mentally counted up to ten.
“I told that fucking hack author that the arc was a fucking stupid unnecessary rip-off that could have been easily prevented,” he grumbled to himself. Thankfully, the hallway was empty of any wandering eyes and ears.
Luo Binghe laughed. The hand around his waist squeezed him gently.
“Shang-shishu said that you told him that in the comments section.”
Shen Yuan hid his snort behind his fan. “Binghe, please tell me what his reaction was when he realized that you circumvented that arc.”
Luo Binghe’s grin was downright impish. “Yuan-ge, imagine a deflating hamster balloon.”
Shen Yuan was thankful for the fan because he couldn’t help the loud bark of laughter ruining his cool facade.
They managed to make their way to the garden at the heart of the palace, where the sunlight was concentrated. In PIDW, this place used to be one of the epicenters of the harem’s meetings. Now, the sprawling area was filled with plants, flowers, fruits and spiritual beasts lounging about.
Shen Yuan gaped at the sight.
Everything. Was. Rare. The rarest of rare.
All the legendary and impossible cures, the herbs, the fruits, the flowers, the spiritual beasts and artifacts for extending one’s lifespan, reviving the near-dead, creating a golden core, and even the immortality peaches…
All those arcs dedicated to getting them for the wives…
Everything was here.
Fucking shit on a pingpong ball. It was no wonder that Mu Qingfang was willing to risk it all. Shen Yuan, who spent days combing through the locked content and PIDW wiki for the info regarding these plants in the novel, felt faint.
It was no wonder that Shang Qinghua called it the “Eternal Life Utopia” Garden!
Binghe. What the fuck.
“How…” he managed to croak in awe. Fuck everyone’s father and grandfathers because this was the power of the golden thighs he was clinging to. Very thick and sturdy, utterly the most reliable pair in this damn book!
And yes, he was very much acquainted with that pair of thighs now (and also what was between those thighs) but that wasn’t the point!
He was suddenly hit with the urge to kowtow to Luo Binghe. Only the hand holding his own stopped him.
Luo Binghe ducked his head and squeezed his hand. “It’s… they’re all for you.”
“I…” Shen Yuan swallowed, throat suddenly too dry and tight. Hearing it from Shang Qinghua was one thing. The man did have the tendency to hyperbole his way to the moon. Seeing that it wasn’t actually an exaggeration was another.
His chest was too stuffy and warm. As if someone shoved an ember and the fucking sun in there. What the fuck.
“Don’t be silly, Binghe. How can I have this without sharing it with you?” Shen Yuan cleared his throat. He fanned his face. “Eternity alone would be lonely, don’t you think?”
Fuck, did a part of himself cringe at those words but the entirety of him saw how Luo Binghe lit up and he couldn’t regret them. Shen Yuan just turned to stare at a blooming Willow Storm Lily Glory by his head. Oh, look! One of the only effective cures for memory loss caused by qi deviations-
“Yuan-ge.” Luo Binghe brought Shen Yuan’s hand to his lips and kissed each of his knuckles. He turned Shen Yuan’s hand and kissed a devoted kiss on the center of his palm.
The fan squeaked under Shen Yuan’s grip. He tried to yank his hand back but the protagonist laughed softly and continued kissing up the tips of his fingers.
“Binghe,” Shen Yuan hissed, head swiveling in case someone else was watching them. “We’re in public!”
Luo Binghe pouted. He nipped his finger before letting go with a pitiful whine. But he crowded closer until Shen Yuan’s back hit the trunk of the Willow Storm Lily Glory. The sweet and biting scent of the flowers made him a little dizzy along with Luo Binghe’s hypnotic warmth.
“Shizun,” Luo Binghe whispered in a plaintive tone that he used to beg for a kiss. “Shizun, Yuan-gege-“
Shen Yuan tapped his forehead with the fan. “Stop that. You’re so spoiled-“
“If I am spoiled then my Yuan-gege is my enabler,” Luo Binghe shamelessly nosed in closer, pressing fluttering kisses on Shen Yuan’s forehead, temples and cheeks. “Yuan-gege should take responsibility.”
He caught Shen Yuan’s mouth in a biting kiss, eagerly muffling any protests. Finally caught in the maw, Shen Yuan was kissed breathless for a small eternity before he was allowed to resurface for air.
A cry of “Shameless!” was already at the tip of his tongue but when Shen Yuan shifted, he was suddenly met with a pair of glowing pink eyes. He squawked and shoved Luo Binghe away with more force than necessary. Luo Binghe skidded a few meters away.
Shen Yuan hurriedly straightened his hair and clothes. He cleared his throat and composed himself, wincing at the fact that they were caught necking like a pair of horny teenagers. At least no one’s hand was inside someone’s robes.
The intruder stepped out from the shadows and knelt on one knee. It was a flower demon, judging by her lavender-tinged skin, the white petals shaped as hair and her shimmering, almost see-through dress. She was certainly pretty and curvaceous enough to be one of the original Luo Binghe’s wives.
Wait.
Wife Number 210, the flower demoness who almost died saving the Celestial Snow Peaches! Xiao Hua!
“Junshang, please forgive this lowly one for interrupting you…” Her pink eyes flickered sharply in Shen Yuan’s direction before looking down again. “And your honored companion. Saintess Sha sent this lowly one to inform you that the Southwestern delegation has arrived.”
The way she spoke was polite like any respectful employee would to their tyrant of a CEO, but the way she said “honored companion” felt weird to Shen Yuan.
Luo Binghe had already tucked away the whining spoiled maiden persona. The domineering aura he was now exuding had Shen Yuan blinking at the whiplash. So cool, ah.
But when he turned to look at Shen Yuan, it was already back.
“Go,” Shen Yuan said before Luo Binghe could whine, “I’ll be fine here.”
After all, with the abundance of spiritual energy in his meridians, Xiu Ya on his belt, and the blood parasites in his veins, there was hardly any demon here who could be a fatal threat.
Luo Binghe deflated but he admitted defeat. He nodded at the demoness’s direction. “Yuan-ge, this is the caretaker of this garden. You, if I find any harm befell on him, your life will be forfeit.”
The demoness bowed her head further. “Yes, Junshang.”
He dropped a kiss on a frozen Shen Yuan’s forehead and strode out. Still shocked, Shen Yuan boggled at the protagonist and the demoness in front of him.
Seriously?
Luo Binghe, why are you so cold?
He felt sorry for the poor demoness for being demoted from a wife to a gardener; but she didn’t look hurt at the threat. Instead, she gracefully stood and said, monotonously, “This way, my lord.”
Shen Yuan followed her deeper into the garden. Like any flower demon, she left a trail of heady floral perfume. The plants seemed to sway to her direction even without the wind.
However, the tiny spiritual beasts (holy shit, was that the Studio Ghibli soot-sprite inspired White Cotton Sprites) started trailing after him. A black Three-Eyed Heavenly Rabbit started pawing at his robes so Shen Yuan bent down to carry it.
It must be the abundance of spiritual energy. These creatures were said to be attracted to it.
The flower demoness Xiao Hua didn’t speak a word, so unlike the description of her being a bubbly chatterbox. She led him to a pavilion and she started tending to the patch of Purple Gale Vines growing around it. The rabbit jumped from Shen Yuan’s arms to join a white one near the bench.
Shen Yuan watched a pair of Spirit Fire Butterflies dance in the air. It was so peaceful. The air was teeming with spiritual energy. Even the heavenly emperor would kill to have a quarter of a garden like this.
He spent over an hour wandering around and cataloguing every rare plant and beast he saw. He came upon a gated section but the wards prevented him from entering. It was strange since he could hear muffled sounds coming there but oh well. You didn't survive shit by poking your head into forbidden areas.
“How long have you been working here?” He asked Xiao Hua. The demoness wasn’t supposed to meet Luo Binghe for another decade.
The demoness tensed. For a moment, Shen Yuan wondered if he did something to her. Maybe she was in love with Luo Binghe? Just because the protagonist was bent didn’t mean the women wouldn’t be attracted to him. As far as he knew, Xiao Hua fell in love at first sight and pined loudly.
Well, this was a situation that Shen Yuan didn’t foresee himself in before. He thought of meeting the wives like a tutting father-in-law, not as the principal wife!
“Five years, my lord,” Xiao Hua answered. She placed the gardening knife down with a sharp thud. “Junshang saved me from the bandits. When he found that my powers can grow these spiritual plants successfully, he gave me this job.”
Of course, Shen Yuan knew that. He read thousands of words describing her lineage as “rare” and she was desired as a “cultivation cauldron” and that her power was “good for helping dying plants grow.” Poor girl.
But Xiao Hua wasn’t done. “Junshang said that this garden was for Immortal Master Shen’s sake. He said that when Immortal Master Shen wakes up, this garden will be a gift to him as a sign of Junshang’s devotion-“
More like paranoia and obsession, bro. You really did a number on my son. Does your conscience feel any pain? The Airplane voice whispered in his mind. Shen Yuan mentally sent him a friendly middle finger and hurriedly tuned it out.
A sudden sob broke through the air.
Alarmed, Shen Yuan stared at the flower demoness.
The flower demoness’s mouth trembled. She fell on her knees with a heartbroken wail. “You- you- you home-wrecker! Junshang was supposed to be with Immortal Master Shen! He was supposed to come back to life again! I tended to this garden hoping that Immortal Master Shen would finally wake up so he and Junshang would finally be together, how dare you come in here and presume to take his place!”
A sharp claw stabbed in the direction of his face. Xiao Hua crumbled further. “You have no right, no right at all! You shameless bastard, they were- they were supposed to be soulmates!”
With another great sob, she fell on the ground, crying wretchedly. Her tears made flowers sprout from the Spiritual Grass of Eternal Mourning below. The grass that literally only bloomed after being watered by tears anguish and hardship, but it could revive someone dying from venom of the Drowned Firewood Spider.
Shen Qingqiu was the white moonlight in this narrative, therefore, Shen Yuan the Great Pretender aka the “Home-wrecking Green Tea Bitch Mistress” could only watch the sight helplessly even when he felt his temples throb.
Was this how female characters felt when they got slandered by hardcore fujoshis who thought that they’re “getting in the way” of the gay ship?
And what gay ship was he getting in the way of? He was literally one half of the CP! Although admitting it made him internally cough blood. This was more painful than an attack from Without a Cure!
Though he still had to salute the fearless guts of this woman. Flinging accusations against the tyrant boss’s fiancé in defense of the white moonlight - such loyalty to the CP was commendable!
The sobbing grew louder. “This lowly one swears to find the cure from what spell or poison you casted on Junshang. Pretend to be Immortal Master Shen all you want but your plan won’t work-“
Shen Yuan sighed. He wasn’t the best at comforting crying girls and like hell was he laying a hand on her because that was still improper in his books. “Look, Miss-“
Clap. Clap. Clap.
A dark head of curls poked out of one of the pillars of the pavilion. Tianlang-jun, in all his dark and regal grace, slinked out of the shadow with a delighted grin. He was followed by another figure dressed in dark green robes.
All at once, the oppressive pressure from the presence of a heavenly demon disrupted the tranquil nature of the garden. Even the spiritual creatures fled the vicinity.
Shen Yuan, too used to it at this point, barely twitched but poor Xiao Hua shrunk to herself.
“Won’t you look at that. Barely a day in the demon realm and you’ve already terrorized a poor helpless demon, just like my Xiyan,” Tianlang-jun said with a smile. “Son-in-law, nothing is ever boring with you around.”
Shen Yuan turned red before paling and turning red again. Their last encounter played like a vivid and broken record player in his mind. “Tianlang-jun, this is a misunderstanding.”
Tianlang-jun waved him off genially and stepped past the still kneeling flower demon. He placed a hand on Shen Yuan’s shoulder and said, “It warms this elder’s heart to know that my son and my son-in-law’s relationship has a loyal devotee such as you, young miss. After all, it is a boon to my line to have Immortal Master Shen as the empress of the realm.”
Shen Yuan mentally buried his face in his hands and cried.
There was a squeak. Xiao Hua was suddenly standing ramrod straight, eyes focused on the Xiu Ya sword. Her cheeks turned to a deep violet before she choked, “You’re - you’re-!”
“Off you go now. Tell my son that his old father is going to take his husband to the markets,” Tianlang-jun dismissed her with another good-natured smile. She bowed quickly and ran out of the garden as if her skirts were on fire.
Shen Yuan sighed. Correcting Tianlang-Jun about his marital status was useless so he kept his mouth shut lest the topic steered to talks of grandchildren again.
Just because he raised Luo Binghe it didn’t mean that he was ready to raise a literal baby!
Ahem.
Now with the flower demoness gone, his attention shifted to Tianlang-jun’s companion. It was a young man, quite good-looking with a gentle and clever appearance. The giant snake serving as some sort of boa was the cherry on top. However, Shen Yuan knew those eyes. No one could ever forget the eyes of the poor creature by the Dew Lake.
He was willing to bet his current fan that this was Luo Binghe’s cousin, Zhuzhi-lang.
“Immortal Master Shen,” Zhuzhi-lang cupped his hands and bowed. “It is this one’s honor to meet you again.”
“Son-in-law, my nephew has been tirelessly helping Binghe to repay the favor you’ve done for him. He even tried to help you get a clean break from Cang Qiong Mountain Sect five years ago! But now, since you woke up, he has been entreating me to bring him to visit you. Unfortunately, that bear child son of mine has been selfishly keeping everyone away.” Tianlang-jun sounded as if he was aggrieved.
Zhuzhi-lang looked down and blushed.
Shen Yuan exhaled slowly and asked Zhuzhi-lang, “You were really the one behind the sower incident?”
“Yes,” Zhuzhi-lang answered.
“Why?”
Seriously? What the hell did he do to warrant having his name dragged into the mud like that?
Zhuzhi-lang lowered his head.
“Ah, don’t be hard on my nephew, son-in-law. It was originally an experiment meant to help with the famine in the southern border but you just happened to be present. Zhuzhi-lang only waited to remove any desire you have to remain in the Human Realm.”
Shen Yuan stared incredulously at the uncle-nephew duo.
“What does this master’s desire to remain there have to do with you?”
Tianlang-jun answered, “It doesn’t matter anymore. “
“Ah.” Shen Yuan fanned himself. It probably had something to do with a grand revenge plan the Tianlang-jun gave up on. Now, he was curious about what it entailed.
Zhuzhi-lang bowed again. “This one apologizes to Immortal Master Shen. Junshang had already made me see the error of my ways. It wasn’t a…proper way to repay your kindness.”
Shen Yuan internally groaned.
Fine. Fine! Let bygones be bygones, it was no use to hold on past grudges especially when it came to the only surviving family members of your partner.
“This master accepts your apology, but I just did what any decent person would do,” Shen Yuan deflected.
Zhuzhi-lang shook his head. “No, Master Shen. Not anyone would.”
Tianlang-jun sighed. “If Binghe hadn’t snatched you first, I would have set you up with my dear nephew. You two would make a fine couple.”
Shen Yuan barely managed to not choke on his spit. Zhuzhi-lang’s face was entirely red, even his snake was hiding its face.
“My lord,” Zhuzhi-Lang protested.
“This master is satisfied with Binghe,” Shen Yuan said through gritted teeth. If not for the fact that he had witnessed the way Tianlang-jun expressed his paternal affections (e.g. annoying and teasing the shit out of Luo Binghe), that comment would make Shen Yuan think that Luo Binghe was unwanted by his remaining parent.
Tianlang-jun laughed and steered them out of the garden, headed towards one of those nifty traveling arrays.
Shen Yuan didn’t put up any more protests. After all, when the father-in-law said that they were going out, the son-in-law should just nod and try not do any dumb shit to offend him.
Shen Yuan wished that he never emerged from the pit.
Better yet, he might as well have the mother of all qi deviations now and be done with it.
His scalp was numb. His ears were numb. He couldn’t feel his fucking toes as the song went on and on and on.
First, Tianlang-jun dragged him to a fucking brothel. Now, it wouldn’t be abnormal if it was a father dragging his own son to a brothel before the guy got hitched, but his own son’s fiancé???
Shen Yuan swallowed all the hysterical question marks screaming in his head when the older demon said that he wanted to see this new performance.
But then. Then!
Shen Yuan’s shattered world views, hopes and dreams were now getting trampled over by the giggling courtesans who served them the best dishes in the house.
Whoever the hell wrote that damned trash “Regret of Chunshan” better start counting their days. Just because he and Luo Binghe definitely had a relationship now, it didn’t mean that he had been taking advantage of his disciple! How the fucking fuck was this legal?! They were using real people for their fictional bullshit without compensating them!
Shen Yuan wasn’t sure if he could even face Liu Qingge right now. The poor dude had been demoted to a “love interest” in this god forbidden story. His poor best bro.
And Tianlang-jun was wiping fake tears and clapping at the songstress?!
Zhuzhi-lang had muffled his laughter at Shen Yuan’s face again. He had been laughing at Shen Yuan’s plight since this started and for one second, Shen Yuan was tempted to make the ladies serve realgar wine just to see how Zhuzhi-lang would react.
Tianlang-jun sat back and drank his wine with relish. He turned to Shen Yuan expectantly.
“What does my son-in-law think?”
I’d rather die again, Shen Yuan thought. Or have my limbs cut off and be placed in a pickle jar. No, I’d rather be blinded and lose my hearing than witness that shit ever again because what the fuck. Wait. Maybe getting stomped by a horde of Black Moon Rhinoceros-Pythons or spending a night at the Holy Mausoleum would be so much better!
He definitely couldn’t ask Tianlang-jun if getting trapped under a mountain was so damaging to a person’s psyche. Sun Wukong did and was doing just fine!
Shen Yuan could only bury his face in his hands in utter despair and endure Tianlang-jun’s laughter.
Conversation picked up around them as Tianlang-jun invited the songstress to the table. A few minutes later, his father-in-law was engaged in a passionate debate with the fujoshis.
Nope. Nope!
No amount of free therapy could save Shen Yuan from the fact of Luo Binghe’s own father being a massive fan of a fucking dead dove: do not eat porn of the two of them. Forget Airplane’s porn, this way too fucking hardcore than anything the damn dumb fuck could ever think of!
He managed to excuse himself for a moment before he booked it out of the brothel. Thankfully, Tianlang-jun’s enthusiastic lecture was drawing a crowd so Shen Yuan was able to duck, weave and maneuver his way out of the door and into an alley.
Fucking hell. Getting hazed was better than this.
Shen Yuan wandered into the bustling market to distract himself. On the way, he saw a group of demon and human kids playing with each other. One of them was holding a cucumber of all things and saying, “My baba said that Junshang has a statue of this! He said that Immortal Master Shen gave it to Junshang as a lucky talisman…”
…Fuck.
Shen Yuan hurried away.
The borderlands were said to be a depressing area but here, it was a bustling and thriving hub. Humans and demons mixed together freely. The market was selling wares made by both sides, though Shen Yuan couldn’t see if there were human body parts being sold. Not that he was actively looking for one.
He was munching on the last of his tanghulu when he heard a shout from an alley.
He peeked inside and saw a group of demons ganging up on a downed youth. With the youth’s back turned away from Shen Yuan’s position, it was impossible to see the face but judging by the shoulders, that was a male.
He was fighting defiantly though he was forced into a kneeling position; hundreds of immortal binding cables wrapped around him like a cocoon. Yet the robes he was wearing were familiar.
They look like the robes for Bai Zhan Peak disciples, which begged the question why was a Cang Qiong Mountain Sect member so close to the demon realm? Why was he hog-tied like that? Though the demons who captured him certainly didn’t look like outstanding citizens of Luo Binghe’s empire. Surely, no one would try to risk a war between the sect and demon realm, right?
One of the demons, a tall female with nondescript features, held the end of an immortal binding cable. The leader, presumably, was saying, “At last. You Bai Zhan Peak’s disciples are really fucking hard to capture. You’ve taken out a whole squad of my gang, the best sleeping potion we have, and it took us a whole damn day but you’re still fighting! Ha! That fucking demon lord better pay a pretty penny to have you as a bride-“
The youth snarled and spat at him.
The demon sneered. “Feisty bitch-“
A sharp whistle rang in the air.
Crunch .
The leader twitched. A drop of blood dripped down the end of the tanghulu stick poking out of his head. He fell with a thud.
The demons sprang apart but Shen Yuan was already upon them. He caught the sword of a bull demon and kicked another. The bull demon’s sword broke and the other demon flew, body breaking through several walls. The scuffle didn’t last long. Shen Yuan almost felt bad when the remaining survivor backed away, holding the stump left of their arm.
Almost.
Shen Yuan was deeply familiar with the bride napping traditions of the demons. In fact, it was one of Great Master Airplane’s favorite tropes to overuse! One memorable arc had Luo Binghe being bride napped by a feisty demoness! Still, it didn’t sit right to him that a youth from his sect was going to be sold to a lecher in front of his eyes! That was his duty as a (former) peak lord.
“Run, you rotten egg!” Shen Yuan cackled at the retreating figure. Damn, thank fuck for anonymity because he sure as hell couldn’t do that as Shen Qingqiu without losing face and aura. He wiped Xiu Ya and was about to turn his attention to the poor Bai Zhan disciple when he was met by a presence behind him pricking his senses.
Shen Yuan very carefully turned towards it and was met by someone.
A very, very familiar someone.
“You…” Liu Qingge was staring at Xiu Ya before his eyes landed on Shen Yuan’s face.
“Shen Qingqiu? ”
Shen Yuan froze.
Shit .
A beat of silence.
I didn’t just fucking say that out loud, Shen Yuan told himself.
Liu Qingge’s face twisted. The hand on Cheng Luan tightened as he took a step forward. Shen Yuan took a step backward, eyeing him warily.
The disciple suddenly stirred from his slumped position, weakly calling out, “Shizun?”
“Yang Yixuan,” Liu Qingge said. With a slash of his sword, the immortal binding cables fell apart.
Ooooh, so that was why the youth looked familiar. Five years really did a lot on a kid. Shen Yuan didn’t recognize him! Though seeing Liu Qingge really be a shizun to a disciple was, honestly, a little unexpected. He didn’t think that the man would actually take his advice and personally teach a disciple instead of just beating them in spars and disappearing!
What a character growth! Go, shidi. Shixiong is rooting for you!
All the while, he was carefully inching away so as to not alarm the two, when his boots cracked a rock and suddenly, his back hit something solid.
Arms wound around his waist and soft hair tickled his cheek. Lips pressed against his jaw and a chin hooked on his shoulder.
“Caught you,” Luo Binghe murmured, voice fond and sweet.
Shen Yuan internally winced as if he was a kid caught outside after curfew. Luo Binghe’s arms tightened.
Liu Qingge was thunderous. He sidestepped his disciple, Cheng Luan raised, as he snarled. “You dare, you vile beast?!”
Luo Binghe laughed, sharp and goading. “This shizhi dares to greet Liu-shishu.”
Shen Yuan could only sigh. Who taught this young man to sass like that?
Somewhere, the SYSTEM was surely laughing at him.
Fuck.
Notes:
1. Heavenly Pillar-jun = this is literally lifted from SVSSS Vol. 2, page 182. seriously. i die laughing at this part all the time. sqq your mind
2. Doesn't your conscience feel any pain= https://hahachn.wordpress.com/2017/03/25/ni-de-liang-xin-bu-hui-tong-ma/
3. CP = couple
4. Xiao Hua = just an OC but just you know, her name literally means "little flower" to keep up with demon naming thing. also, imagine dedicating your life tending to a garden dedicated to revive your boss's one true love, being a loyal supporter of their love, only for someone else to snatch your boss. i'd crash out too
5. all i can say is that imagine maomao's reaction from apothecary diaries when presented with an ox bezoar. that's how i imagine sy's reaction at the garden. the nerd haha
6.sy and lqg's fight was originally:
sy: eat shit, motherfucker!
he turns around and sees lqg. sy: shit
lqg, shocked: sqq?
also, i apologize for any ooc-ness. though i have the vol. 2 and 3 attached to me while writing this, sometimes things get meh ahhaha
anyway, i hope the next part doesn't get eaten by writer's block.
until next time. please take care of yourselves 🫶
Chapter 8: Extra Chapter Pt 2: leaving me safe and stranded
Notes:
edited and posted this while on the bus so please excuse any typos.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Caught between a boulder and a typhoon, Shen Yuan quietly sheathed Xiu Ya.
Unexpectedly, Liu Qingge laughed.
“Good. You are really good, huh?” He stared at the two of them, eyes bloodshot with anger. “You really have the face to claim to be devoted to Shen Qingqiu. Ha! Luo Binghe, you disgust me.”
Luo Binghe snorted softly. “Oh? Begging shishu to enlighten this shizhi.”
Liu Qingge let out another humorless laugh.
“You dare claim to be innocent now? Shen Qingqiu sacrificed himself for you and you never even gave us the right to honor his death! You’ve dared to use your own shizun in this damn farce of yours, and then you go around and give his sword to someone else? Just because he,” Liu Qingge pointed Cheng Luan at Shen Yuan. “Looks similar to your shizun? Is this how you repay Shen Qingqiu? By forcing someone to pretend to be him? What love? What loyalty?! I should have thrown you to the damn abyss myself!”
Shen Yuan’s mouth fell open at the hatred and vehemence that was pouring out of Liu Qingge in waves.
He bit back the instinctual urge to step in between the two of them because Luo Binghe patted his waist reassuringly.
So he stared at Liu Qingge in awe.
Holy fuck. If he wasn’t the one caught in the middle, he would have cheered Liu Qingge on his speech. Of course Liu Qingge wouldn’t have recognized him, this body was made to throw off even Luo Binghe!
It was only right that his shidi would jump to that conclusion. Imagine a character who looked similar to Character A, using Character’s own things, dressing and acting the way Character A used to do. Now, imagine if you saw the ML hold that character like this. Anyone would know that the ML is using that nobody for a sick roleplay!
If this was like the romance novels he would sometimes stumble into when he was bored, that would make Liu Qingge the secondary love interest. The thought almost made Shen Yuan laugh. No, Liu Qingge exemplified the “ride and die” bro character!
And the way he stood up against the protagonist to defend Shen Yuan! His loyalty made Shen Yuan a little teary-eyed inside.
This, ladies and gentlemen, man was the best shidi a shixiong could ask for!
Shen Yuan owed him enough not to tease him anymore about fountains and roses when he discovered that Shen Yuan was, in fact, Shen Qingqiu.
Luo Binghe’s arms tightened around him and chuckled.
“Does Liu-shishu think that this disciple’s heart is so easily swayed by a beautiful face? Even one with a passing resemblance to shizun?” Luo Binghe’s voice was nearly a croon. “Many have tried to deceive this lord’s heart and were punished thus.”
Shen Yuan hid his face with a fan.
Good merciful gods and buddhas. Luo Binghe was clearly following a BL romance script. Seeing it play out against the one Liu Qingge was using…it certainly made everything sound strange.
“This disciple may be a vile beast but I am not a blind fool who couldn’t recognize the right person right in front of me!” Luo Binghe continued, sneering.
Shen Yuan elbowed him. Sharply. Hard enough for Luo Binghe’s hold to loosen. And hissed, “Binghe!”
Luo Binghe shot him a wounded puppy look but Shen Yuan willed himself to stay strong.
Just because Luo Binghe managed to recognize him even in his original body, it didn’t mean that the protagonist shouldn’t cut anyone else some slack!
“Be nice,” he said with a gentle tap to other’s forehead, and then faced Liu Qingge.
Liu Qingge, however, looked he had been slapped by a boulder. Shen Yuan forcefully threw away any comparisons to their fateful mission in that succubi den.
“Shen - Shen Qingqiu?”
Shen Yuan laughed sheepishly. The cat was out of the bag now. “Shidi.”
Liu Qingge stared at him, dumbfounded, and took a step towards them. Before he could say another word, another voice broke the silence.
“What…” Yang Yixuan groaned.
He was sitting up by the wall and clutching his head.
I totally did not forget about him, Shen Yuan told himself. Fuck, that was intense. I didn’t even notice another audience member!
As if on cue, another voice joined in.
“Well, that was certainly not a part of the scene.”
The three of them looked up on the roof to see Tianlang-jun in all his regal grace, sprawled lazily like the worn roof tiles were his throne. He was eating…melon seeds.
Melon seeds.
He might as well show up with a bottle of soy sauce, ah!
Why must he be so literal?
Shen Yuan mentally coughed blood.
Another figure appeared, handing another bag to Tianlang-jun. Zhuzhi-lang.
Taking the momentary distraction, Liu Qingge turned to Shen Yuan. “Shen Qingqiu, get away from them!”
Shen Yuan mentally slapped himself. “This is all a big misunderstanding. Shidi, Binghe and I already reconciled so there’s no need to fight, alright?”
“You should listen to shizun, Liu-shishu,” was Luo Binghe’s happy reply.
“Why should I? Who knows what you’ved used to compel him to-“
“Aiya, aiya. Peak Master Liu, we demons may not be as honorable as you cultivators,” Tianlang-jun cut in, “but compelling your beloved is below even for a heavenly demon.”
Liu Qingge glowered. Tianlang-jun continued on, unaffected.
“Though this elder does commend Peak Lord Liu on his dashing speech. It really moves one’s heart,” Tianlang-jun dramatically touched his chest.
That speech was literally accusing your son of being a scum, Shen Yuan sighed.
From the corner of his eye, he saw Liu Qingge stand in front of Yang Yixuan. Eyes narrowed as he looked at Tianlang-jun.
Luo Binghe, however, had the look of someone who was fighting a migraine.
“Son of mine, scenes like this usually ends in duels for the hand of the beautiful fairy!” Tianlang-jun called out as if he was a fucking movie director. “Though your delivery of your lines are indeed improving!”
Zhuzhi-lang was nodding along as if his uncle’s nonsense was pure wisdom.
Was he fucking serious?
If Shen Yuan knew that this would be his future, he might as well as have chucked Luo Binghe into the directions of those talent scouts!
But Tianlang-jun wasn’t done. He set his eyes on Shen Yuan and, with a grin, said, “Son-in-law, you have two of the most powerful and peerless men in the world fighting over you. Would you still stay with my son, the demon emperor who forced the world to kneel out of love for you? Or your ever-faithful shidi who spent five years fighting my son to retrieve your body, coming back again and again despite his failures?”
Shen Yuan had never wanted more than for the earth to swallow him. First of all, that damn “Regret of Chunshan” was seriously rotting the older demon’s brain. Second of all, why was he pitting Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge in real life as romantic rivals when there was no competition in Shen Yuan’s eyes?!
“Liu-shidi is just my shidi!” Shen Yuan sputtered. “There’s nothing impure about our relationship!”
Beside him, Luo Binghe started massaging the bridge of his nose and growling something under his breath.
“Shut up and fight me!” Liu Qingge roared, face redder than a cherry.
“Oh, believe me. This elder will be honored to cross swords with the War God of Bai Zhan Peak but your poor disciple seems to be suffering under the Carmine Mist Centipede venom. Any longer and he’ll be permanently paralyzed. Zhuzhi-lang can help you find the cure.”
Liu Qingge reared back and he pulled Yang Yixuan up by the scruff of his robes before slinging the youth on his shoulder like a sack of rice.
“No need,” Liu Qingge said before he shot an expectant look at Shen Yuan. “Shen Qingqiu, come with me.”
Someone let out a dramatic gasp but Shen Yuan barely paid attention to it. He heard Luo Binghe growl. He only shook his head sadly at Liu Qingge and said, “I’m sorry, shidi.”
Something twisted in Liu Qingge’s features. Something pained. Shen Yuan winced internally. Yang Yixuan let out another muffled sound.
“This master appreciates what shidi has done for me but I will be fine,” Shen Yuan hurriedly assured him. “Binghe is good to me and this master is satisfied. Shidi doesn’t need to worry about me. Go and take care of Yang-shizhi.”
It didn’t take a genius to know that Luo Binghe was giving Liu Qingge the mother of all smug looks. Shen Yuan just took hold of his hand, the one with the ring, before he could say anything that will, no doubt, trigger Liu Qingge. He intertwined their fingers together absentmindedly.
Liu Qingge shot Luo Binghe a heated glare full of unspoken loathing as he vowed, “This isn’t over.”
Then he stepped on Cheng Luan and was gone.
Shen Yuan felt himself deflate slowly.
Whew. It was just his first day out of their staycation and the cat was already out of the bag. It would have been funny if that wasn’t the running theme of his life (lives?). Well, at least that saved him from the rest of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect barging into their doors and demanding their return as if he was the kidnapped bride.
Tianlang-jun jumped down from the roof and landed in front of them. Zhuzhi-lang followed shortly.
“To be honest, this elder had expected that the revelation would have been more dramatic,” Tianlang-jun said to him, “Right, Zhi-lang?”
Zhuzhi-lang nodded. “Of course, my lord.
Shen Yuan gave up all pretenses and started rubbing his temples. Luo Binghe, however, was frowning heavily at his father.
“What were you thinking? Taking Yuan-ge out here and then leaving him alone?”
“Binghe, it’s not your father’s fault. I can handle myself.” Shen Yuan patted his arm, shooting an apologetic look at Tianlang-jun.
“Binghe knows that,” Luo Binghe assured him, taking his hand and kissing his knuckles. A part of Shen Yuan cringed at showing PDA in front of the in-laws. “My Yuan-ge is the strongest and the best.”
Shen Yuan turned red and snatched his hand away. He cleared his throat.
“See? There’s no harm done. Son of mine, as tempting as it is, you can’t keep Peak Master Shen within your sight all the time,” Tianlang-jun said, “Believe your father, absence makes the heart grow fonder!”
Luo Binghe’s lips pressed together, a dark look crossed his eyes. “Is that so? Even for a-niang?”
A beat of tense silence.
A look of raw, unadulterated pain filled Tianlang-jun’s dark eyes. His smiled dropped. Even Zhuzhi-lang tensed.
Oh, shit. Code Black! An inverse dragon scale was hit!
The father and son didn’t look away from each other.
“Yes,” Tianlang-jun murmured. “Terribly so. Each day I yearn for her more and more. Yet when I look at you, I see her and it gladdens my heart that you resemble her more than me.”
Luo Binghe stepped back, clutching Shen Yuan’s hand tighter.
“Perhaps our lineage isn’t cursed.” Tianlang-jun smiled, this one felt more genuine. “The son managed to bring back his love when the father couldn’t. Perhaps all is not lost.”
Shen Yuan swallowed and squeezed Luo Binghe’s hand.
“Well,” Tianlang-jun sighed. He threw an arm around Zhuzhi-lang and began steering him out of the alley. He said to them, “There is a new book in town that Zhi-lang and I want to look at. Binghe, keep my son-in-law safe!”
Shen Yuan nodded, bidding farewell to him. A portal was opened back to the palace. Even then, his thoughts couldn’t help but go back to the roller coaster ride in the past hour.
Later that night, after Luo Binghe sent his father (and cousin) an apology dinner, they found themselves in Luo Binghe’s rooms in the Underground Palace. Shen Yuan had spent a few minutes in shock (and awe) at how perfectly Luo Binghe had replicated the bamboo cottage.
The only things that were different were the damned cucumber plushie that was sitting innocuously on the bed and the framed photos from the photo booth on the vanity.
Still, something niggled at Shen Yuan to make him say, "Binghe, you already know that I won’t leave you, right? And no one’s going to take me away, okay?”
He started threading his fingers through Luo Binghe’s hair, nails scratching the base of his skull. Luo Binghe let out a sound, a cross between a purr and a moan of satisfaction. Aha, even though he skipped the papapa, Shen Yuan knew little bits of Luo Binghe’s weaknesses.
“You know who I am and how much of a bitch I can be. Not even Shang Qinghua knows that much about me.”
A lazy spoiled brat, his older brothers would say fondly before secretly sending more money to his bank account and scolding him if he tried to pay for anything in their presence. An ornery critical asshole with no life in the Internet and in the forums. Just Peerless Cucumber to Airplane.
Luo Binghe nuzzled him with a soft whine. “Yuan-ge, Binghe knows that. I know that I’m lucky that Yuan-ge chose this undeserving disciple out of everyone.”
Shen Yuan snorted, tugging his hair in admonishment. Luo Binghe jolted. Shen Yuan patted him in apology.
“What do you mean by everyone? I’m fucking lucky enough to bag you!”
Luo Binghe shook his head. “Yuan-ge, everyone who meets you falls for you.”
Shen Yuan laughed. He laughed so hard that the bed was almost shaking. He tried to muffle it with his hand but each time he looked at the protagonist, it sent him into fits. His lower back twinged sharply but he ignored it.
Him wife beaming everyone?! What was he, some Mary Sue female MC?! Just because this world got re-categorized into the Green JJ’s danmei section, it didn’t mean that Shen Yuan suddenly became the MC with the harem master halo!
He wasn’t a gay man who would pant for every handsome he came across, Luo Binghe was very much his only exemption, so the idea that he would seduce other men was just plain laughable.
Oh god, was this how Binghe felt when Shang Qinghua dropped the “harem master with flowers summing up to six hundred figures”? The poor guy. He meant Binghe, of course.
“Fucking hell, no! Binghe, where the hell did you even get that idea?” He managed to get out once the fits subsided. “This isn’t a BL harem novel and this old man doesn’t have a harem master halo!!”
Luo Binghe sat, the sheets pooling down his waist to cover his lap. Shen Yuan kept his eyes firmly on Luo Binghe’s face and not on that gloriously chiseled abs and pecs, the scar glaring at him even in the dim light filtering through the curtains, because his lower back and thighs were crying for mercy.
Luo Binghe looked at him seriously and started naming “everyone.” Shen Yuan could only stare at him in growing horrified dismay.
“Yue Qingyuan reminds me of my da-ge,” Shen Yuan started slowly, trying not to laugh in disbelief. “Liu Qingge is just my shidi. The others…Binghe, I’ve only interacted with them briefly. You know, treating someone with basic decency doesn’t equate attraction?”
Luo Binghe just nodded as if he was humoring him. There was still a pout on Maiden Luo’s face. “Whatever Yuan-gege says.”
Ah. Classic jealousy. Well, given how the original stallion protagonist was a “jealous and possessive lover,” this Luo Binghe was certainly right on track for once!
They settled back down into the bed. Shen Yuan was just glad that the damned plushie was chucked somewhere he couldn’t see because that would break the fucking afterglow.
After a while, Luo Binghe said, “But if shizun, if Yuan-ge, wants to go back to Cang Qiong Mountain, I won’t stop you.”
Shen Yuan kissed his forehead. “Don’t look so sad. It’s not like I’d leave you behind.”
Luo Binghe kissed him with a cry of his name and shamelessly turned on the puppy eyes.
So sticky. Some things just didn't change.
Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky arrived in their receiving room just after breakfast. Despite all the frippery he was donning on (and wow, that frozen ice demon of his was really turning him into a walking jewelry shop because he literally made clinking sounds when he moved), he looked haggard.
It would never stop being funny to Shen Yuan how Luo Binghe would have the other man report the details of an arc, point out which villain to avoid, and the treasure he had retrieve. Shang Qinghua’s barely masked long suffering and exasperated face was worth the stress Shen Yuan had gone through to fix his fucking plot.
After that, Shang Qinghua took out a missive from his sleeves.
“It’s from Cang Qiong Mountain Sect. They summoned the peak lords for an emergency meeting.”
Ah. So that was why Airplane looked like he had been through the wringer. There was no doubt that his ass got interrogated for keeping Shen Yuan’s renewed subscription to life as a secret. Divided loyalties and all.
Luo Binghe handed the letter to Shen Yuan who opened it. Just as he thought, it was a message, worded politely, that was basically asking for him and Luo Binghe to go back to the sect tomorrow.
“What else happened, shishu?” Luo Binghe asked as he eyed the contents.
“Uh…” Shang Qinghua was grimacing now. “Liu Qingge’s been raging at Yue Qingyuan to let him come here to get you and well, the body. Yue Qingyuan doesn’t want to start a war but he wants to negotiate. For you know, getting you back and if they could bury Shen Qingqiu’s body…”
Ah, yes. The original goods’ body. It was still kept in some frozen crypt. Until now, Shen Yuan hadn’t had the courage to actually ask and see his corpse because that was too morbid and extreme even for him. He had been burying that thought in his mind because he actually hadn’t decided what to do with it.
Luo Binghe, on the other hand, had grown some sort of attachment to it. The kind that you’d have for the remaining spare battery of a phased out collector’s item phone. It was a handy thing to have if you need one in case the other one failed…
Yeah, it was too disturbing when it was still early in the day.
Besides, it wasn’t like they could actually resurrect the original goods, right? The SYSTEM said that the guy got scuttled off into the afterlife the moment Shen Yuan took over. Airplane had told the OG’s story to him once, which resulted to Shen Yuan chasing the other guy around for cutting that out of the fucking story. Luo Binghe, on the other hand, didn’t care for it.
So, yeah. That was another problem for him to solve in the future.
“Fine.” Shen Yuan snapped his fan close. It wasn’t like he could avoid everything forever. After all, like any responsible adults in society, he needed to go and do his work. “We’ll go.”
Luo Binghe dropped a kiss on his forehead and left to make arrangements.
Shang Qinghua went limp the moment the doors closed.
Shen Yuan serenely took a sip of his tea.
“Bro,” Shang Qinghua said, “I have to hand it to you. You really know how to drive everyone crazy.”
Shen Yuan just raised an eyebrow. “The fuck are you on about now?”
“Yesterday, I saw a lot of Bingge’s servants weeping. One of them said that someone enchanted Bingge and fooled him just to take your place. Hell, I didn’t know Xiao Hua could be that mad before. Bro, your hubby’s former harem members are shipping the two of you. Damn, that’s an achievement.”
Shen Yuan just rolled his eyes. Hard. Until he was fucking seeing Jupiter.
“I also heard that there were rumors about it spreading to the borderland town. There was a mini riot in the inn-“
“Shut up, shut up,” Shen Yuan groaned.
Shang Qinghua, however, was giving him a shit-eating grin as he raised his hands in mock surrender. “Hey, don’t shoot the messenger, bro.”
“Whatever,” Shen Yuan said, “like hell do I need to broadcast everything Binghe and I do.”
If this was what celebrities had to undergo then no thanks!
He took out his phone to continue that webnovel he stumbled into last night. Something about a fallen god and a demon (and no, he wasn’t projecting).
“What the hell?!” Shang Qinghua screamed, pointing at his phone. “Why do you fucking have that?!”
Oh. Ohhh.
Shen Yuan grinned. And laughed like a damned 70s villain. He waved his phone, displaying the lit screen and everything. Their photo from that date smiled at Shang Qinghua. The charms dangled (including the Bingpup one he got from the SYSTEM’s inventory). “This? The SYSTEM let me keep it.”
Shang Qinghua’s mouth dropped.
“It has an unlimited Internet connection. The SYSTEM pays for the accounts and subscriptions. Unfortunately, you can’t post anything on social media or contact anyone but guess what? It won’t run out of battery!“
Shang Qinghua whimpered, tears streaming down his cheeks. “How? This is unfair!”
“Well, Airplane bro, that’s what happens when you’re a good boy,” Shen Yuan said. Then he made a show of pulling out a chilled can of Coca-Cola.
“Oh, fuck you! I hope you never get to put your cucumber in my son. Ever!” Shang Qinghua cried, standing and pointing at him with a shaking finger. “How the fuck did you do it?! Come on, help a brother out! I’m literally your best man in your wedding!”
Shen Yuan snorted. Airplane was weeks too late for stopping Shen Yuan's cucumber.
“Wrong. Liu Qingge might be my pick but maybe I’ll tell you if you finally admit that you’re fucking engaged to that genderbent Elsa of yours,” Shen Yuan snarked, not deigning Airplane’s first statements with a response.
But Shang Qinghua ignored him as he curled into a ball in the corner and started arguing with his SYSTEM. Shen Yuan sighed and gave him another can and a bag of potato chips after five minutes of sobbing at him.
Shen Yuan had braced himself for the waterworks.
It must be the fucking water in his peak because everyone was crying. Ning Yingying and Ming Fan were expected. But the stairsweeper?
Well what the hell did he expect, even the famous blackened stallion protagonist turned into a crybaby! He just didn’t expect it to be this…much.
When they arrived at the top of stairs, Shen Yuan only had a minute of admiring the view he missed so much (because wow, he could literally see the pure and clean air filled with qi, and everything was so green) before he was beset by every single disciple in his peak.
Hundreds of eyes stared at him.
Luo Binghe had chosen the perfect replica of his peak master attire, from the shoes to the headpiece. Even his fan matched the aesthetic. Of course he couldn’t do anything about the face but it was easy to shrug on the Shen Qingqiu persona with a blink of an eye.
He saw his two (second and third favorite) disiciples.
Ning Yingying had grown so much. She was still tiny but her face and body matured. But the way she was looking at him, eyes filling with tears and mouth quivering set him back to five years ago.
Children, he thought, grow so much when you take your eye off them.
“Shizun!” Ning Yingying launched herself towards him.
Shen Yuan braced himself as the young lady squeezed his waist and started sobbing into his robes. As if a spell, broke, Ming Fan, taller and broader than he was before, had tears streaming down his scrunched face as he came forward and hugged Shen Yuan’s other side.
Shen Yuan, despite himself, melted.
These sticky children, he thought fondly and patted their heads.
Then:
“Shizun!”
His little ducklings, his little herd of sheep, the children who had grown since he last saw them, all surged forward until Shen Yuan was surrounded by a veritable fountain. All of them crying.
He saw Luo Binghe standing at the back of the group, watching them, face smoothed from any emotion.
He shot him a helpless smile because he knew that Luo Binghe was battling against his jealousy deep inside.
So after five more minutes of sobbing, Shen Yuan started extricating himself. He tutted at his disciples, playfully scolding them to wipe their tears and compose themselves because this wasn’t how his outstanding disciples should act. The few that resisted (Ning Yingying) took a very gentle admonishing tap from his fan.
They took it good naturedly, swallowed the tears and sobs, and composed themselves before they let go.
Finally free and with robes full of snot, Shen Yuan was able to breathe.
Ming Fan was the first one who approached Luo Binghe without fear. He clapped Luo Binghe hard on the shoulder once. Twice. Then said, “Good job, shidi. Thank you for bringing shizun back to us.”
Luo Binghe said nothing when Ming Fan excused himself.
The disciples dispersed as Shen Yuan shooed them off to their duties. He and Luo Binghe made a stop to the bamboo cottage so Shen Yuan could change because he wasn’t about to face the other peak lords mussed and robes soaked with tears and snot. As he fixed himself, he heard Luo Binghe muttering about the state of the cottage.
It was clean and well-maintained. Ning Yingying and Ming Fan did good jobs in keeping it the way it was before.
But of course, his perfectionist househusband god Luo Binghe would find a single, tiny missed spot and declare the whole thing as “not livable” for them. If they stayed any longer, Shen Yuan would find him armed with a broom, brush, rags and pails full of soapy water, and scrubbing the floors and the walls with single-minded focus.
As much as Shen Yuan wanted to linger in his cottage (and oh how it felt fucking good to be back even though this one was lacking the modern amenities like the others Luo Binghe had built), he knew that keeping the peak lords waiting would be rude and would result to someone (Liu Qingge) breaking down his door.
So Shen Yuan swallowed his hesitation and they flew to Qiong Ding Peak. They had barely stepped off Xiu Ya before Qi Qingqi, who was first in line for the greeting committee, walked to them. Her beautiful face was scowling something fierce as she glared at Shen Yuan.
Shen Yuan sighed in his heart at the lecture that was about to come. He barely took one step in front of Luo Binghe before Qi Qingqi was on him.
“Well,” she said, dragging her eyes over him, “look who remembered to come back home.”
Shen Yuan flicked open his fan, giving her a placating smile. “Shimei, this master is happy to see you again.”
Qi Qingqi raised an eyebrow. “Oh? This shimei thought otherwise with how happy Shen-shixiong has been with Luo-shizhi, to the point that you haven’t contacted the sect even weeks after your resurrection. We won't even find out if not for Liu-shidi stumbling upon you!"
Shen Yuan mentally grimaced. When she put it like that…yeah, that was a shitty move on his part. He swallowed his fear of Qi Qingqi’s sharp tongue and faced it like a man. He couldn’t be seen as weak by Luo Binghe!
And Qi Qingqi wasn’t done chewing him out. “Imagine if he hadn’t! Shen Qingqiu, have you even thought about the sect? We mourned you. How about your poor disciples? For years, all they did was cry so much that it’s a wonder Qing Jing wasn’t constantly cloaked in rain clouds! Not to mention Liu-shidi fighting your precious disciple to retrieve your body even though he kept on losing. Even zhangmen-shixiong suffered because of you-“
Her tirade was cut off by the arrival of Yue Qingyuan, Shang Qinghua, and Liu Qingge. Yue Qingyuan was watching him. A hundred of emotions shifted across his face. Shen Yuan, for a moment, wanted to shrink back at his penetrating stare. Well, yes. He looked different from the original goods. He knew Shang Qinghua already told them a good reason why that happened, something about the mushroom body being unpredictable, blah, blah, blah.
Still, it made feel like a squirming worm.
Finally, a look of relief settled on Yue Qingyuan’s face.
Good. The ruse was still on!
“Shen-shidi,” Yue Qingyuan greeted him warmly but his toned turned a little cold when he said, “and Luo-shizhi. It is good to have you back.”
Qi Qingqi scoffed but backed down. Liu Qingge was having another epic stare down with Luo Binghe. Shang Qinghua just gave Shen Yuan a little wave and a subtle thumbs up.
So Shen Yuan pasted a smile and said, "It’s good to be back, zhangmen-shixiong.”
They made their way to the large and ornate hall which served as the peak lords’ meeting place. There was a round table surrounded by the seats denoting the position of each peak lord.
Shen Yuan took his seat, Luo Binghe coming to stand behind him. He listened to the usual niceties before Yue Qingyuan began the meeting.
As the star of the show, the spotlight was given to Shen Yuan.
“One supposes that Shen-shidi will take up his mantle again as the Peak Lord of Qing Jing Peak,” Yue Qingyuan said.
“Yes, this master has been remissed of his duties.”
A nameless peak lord muttered before he was hushed by another. “One can imagine.”
“Shen-shidi,” Yue Qingyuan was now speaking softly. “Shang-shidi has explained to us yesterday how you were revived. He also said that you’ve been awake for weeks.”
Yue Qingyuan looked at him with the same expression his da-ge would give him whenever Shen Yuan didn’t pick up his phone after twenty missed calls and the poor man had to drive to his apartment to see him in person.
Shen Yuan hid behind his fan, wincing.
Fuck, he left his real da-ge in that world but that man still haunted him here! He sent a thousand apologies to the man in his heart.
“We received neither news nor word from you. While your…newfound relationship with Luo-shizhi may have distracted you, surely, that shouldn’t have prevented you from contacting us? Could it be that, deep down inside, that you think we are still unworthy of your trust?”
Oh fuck. Guilt swallowed his heart.
“Or perhaps it had been Luo-shizhi-“
“It’s not like that!” Shen Yuan protested. “Binghe would never keep me away from the sect. I was trying to get used to my new body!”
Well, he couldn’t say that he was getting used to his new body with the protagonist in bed. Or that he was trying to milk all the vacation he could get.
Qi Qingqi’s lips were curled in a sneer as she said, “Getting used to your body? Is that how we’re going to say it these days?”
Shen Yuan bit back his flush. Caught. Fuck.
Yue Qingyuan cleared his throat. “What is done is already done. I trust that Shen-shidi has his reasons. What is important is that Shen-shidi is back here with us.”
The way he said “us” and glanced at Luo Binghe’s direction was almost intentional.
Whew. Close call. At least he didn’t get chewed out like his da-ge would have done to him.
Liu Qingge, however, couldn’t hold it back anymore. “Are we really going to let him in again?”
To Luo Binghe again. Shen Yuan didn’t need to look back to know the smug smile Luo Binghe was giving Liu Qingge. They were literally like two schoolchildren pulling each other’s hair and dragging each other into the mud. Shen Yuan despaired in his heart.
As much as he appreciated Liu Qingge’s overprotectiveness and loyalty, antagonizing Luo Binghe again and again was another thing. Though Shen Yuan understood the other’s grudge. Losing his face as the titular “War God” of Bai Zhan Peak to a disciple (okay, that disciple was the OP protagonist with plot armor) by being beaten again and again for five years would make any hot blooded man rage to death.
Shen Yuan idly fanned himself as he responded, “Shidi, this master has never terminated Binghe’s position as my disciple.”
Liu Qingge “tsked” before crossing his arms.
Around the table, there were mutterings about Luo Binghe’s divided loyalties and duties as a Qing Jing Peak disciple, the Huan Hua Palace Master and now the Demon Emperor. Thinking about it was enough to make Shen Yuan’s head spin. His Binghe was an overachiever’s worst nightmare. However, Shen Yuan had no doubt that the young man was going to balance those things excellently.
At least Luo Binghe didn’t have to think about the harem’s infighting on top of that, though!
Another peak lord suddenly asked, “Well, now that Shen-shixiong is here, in another body, what are we supposed to do with the other one? Supposing, of course, that the body is still around?”
Suddenly, all eyes were on them. On Luo Binghe in particular.
Luo Binghe brushed closer against Shen Yuan’s shoulder.
“It is only proper for us to retrieve Shen-shidi’s original body,” Yue Qingyuan declared.
Another nameless peak lord replied, “Of course, Luo-shizhi already has Shen-shixiong here, alive. Keeping his corpse would be too much, won’t it?”
The peak lord beside him drawled, “This master says that we should bury Shen-shixiong’s body.”
But a third peak lord protested, “Shen-shixiong is still alive, wouldn't it be strange to bury him as if he’s really dead?. This master thinks that we should just let it be in Luo-shizhi’s care.”
Shen Yuan mentally gave that peak lord a thumbs up because why the fuck did it feel like everyone was actually planning his funeral in front of him. No matter how they twist the angle, attending your own funeral was weird!
Shang Qinghua finally spoke, “Well…there’s no harm done if we do that, right?”
He froze at the few glares shot at his direction. Chiefly from Qi Qingqi who was still pissed that he kept Shen Yuan’s revival a secret. Shen Yuan secretly commiserated with him and swore to give him a bucket of KFC chicken later. Look, the guy might be a little shit but Airplane certainly had his moments.
Luo Binghe, however, drew to his full height. Instantly, his qi cloaked the room, a pressure that could have made even gods kneel. Shen Yuan barely felt any fear anymore so he let his fingers brush the protagonist's hand on his chair.
“Respectfully, there is no “we” in this. It is shizun’s body still, so it is his sole decision as to what will be done to his immortal body,” Luo Binghe announced.
The peak lords around them tensed, some were touching their swords. The tension and silence was so thick that he could cut it with Xiu Ya. Shang Qinghua, on the other hand, was sweating buckets.
Stiffly, Shen Yuan hurried to break the tension. “Yes, yes. Is that all?”
The meeting was dismissed shortly. Shen Yuan barely managed to escape with Luo Binghe before he got cornered.
However, before they could make their grand escape to Qing Jing Peak, a heroic figure in white stood in their way, blocking them. Shen Yuan instinctually pulled Luo Binghe behind them as he acknowledged the other man.
“Liu-shidi.”
Liu Qingge stared at Shen Yuan. There was something dark and familiar in his eyes. It almost looked like desperation but Shen Yuan was sure it was the trick of light.
“Shen Qingqiu,” Liu Qingge whispred gravelly after a short bout of staring, “are you really choosing him?”
Shen Yuan balked. This again? At this point, he might as well give Liu Qingge the medal for always putting Shen Yuan’s best interests. That or hand him the best man position. Shang Qinghua would survive as a groomsman.
“Binghe? Of course.”
More of that expression and staring. Shen Yuan was almost tempted to tell him to take a fucking picture.
“Why.”
Oh my god. Is this an interrogation? Again?
Shen Yuan said, “That’s…too forward, shidi.”
“Just tell me why.”
Luo Binghe looked at him then. There was a quiet vulnerability in those eyes, something that made Shen Yuan’s heart ache. He had been so patient, letting Shen Yuan take lead, trusting Shen Yuan to do his thing and only stepping in when needed.
For a moment, Shen Yuan wondered what would have happened if he hadn’t clicked on that title. If he hadn’t been eating that fucking pork bun. If he hadn’t chose to cling to Luo Binghe in spite of everything. And he found the answer unbearable.
To live without Luo Binghe was unimaginable. To let him go would be a regret that would last a thousand lifetimes.
“Because it’s Binghe,” he said and saw that beautiful smile light the other’s face. Shen Yuan couldn’t help but confession tumbling out his mouth. “And it will always be Binghe. This master would never want anyone else beside me.”
Shen Yuan saw Luo Binghe visibly melt, murmuring “shizun”. Those long lashes fluttered, cheeks turned a sweet rosy pink, his damnably soft lips quirked in an even softer smile. Sweet Maiden Luo looked lovesick and lovestruck. If they weren’t in public-
Shen Yuan suddenly raised a hand and caught something in the air. The moment shattered, much to his discontent. When he turned attention to the thing, it turned out to be his fan. One he thought was missing years ago. When he looked up, Liu Qingge’s back was turned and he was already walking away from them.
Shen Yuan shook his head. Someday, this shidi of his would understand. His ring caught the sunlight and it suddenly occurred to him that maybe he should have announced his engagement earlier. Shang Qinghua hadn’t blurted that one out during his interrogation, probably scared shitless about explaining how and why that happened. So. It was up to Shen Yuan to drop that bomb.
Eh. Maybe next time.
Dropping too many bombs at the same time would have caused a riot.
After all, they have all the time in the world.
Notes:
the end.
for real.
why didn’t anyone know about sy’s real identity or name?
a) he’ll get compromised and lbh does NOT want that. also this isn’t just that story.
b) lbh isn’t going to share sy’s real name to everyone especially his rivals. that guy will hoard every bit of shen yuan to himself because the public already got sqq and sqh got cucumber bro. tlj gets a pass
c) the sy’s identity reveal is only for lbh. for sqh: sy, lbh and when the time comes, mbjthanks for being with me until this last chapter! 🫶
Update 7/16/2025: the extras have been edited and lines have been added.
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