Chapter Text
Death. Such a small word for something so big, he thought. You could spell it out in only one breath, but it could haunt you for an entire life. Death. The concept of life really was terrifying if he stopped to contemplate it, however it had been a while since he stopped to think about living.
Dying was warm and weirdly comforting. It felt like finally going home after so many years. His body relaxed as death’s touch reached for him and he couldn’t bring himself to be bothered, just letting it take him entirely.
Satoru didn’t mean to die, against all the thoughts in his own head screaming for peace and quiet, he really wanted to win this fight. Arrogance was always one of his biggest sins, that’s what everyone said anyway. Guess it would suit him, dying again for his own arrogance, for a purpose that wasn’t even his.
He didn’t even feel the killing blow, didn’t even notice what happened. It was not like it caught him out of guard, Satoru was very much aware of his death coming closer and closer at each blow but it happened too fast. Credits given, that bastard was really good.
‘It wasn’t that bad’, until the end he thought Nobara’s words were a lie or some type of comfort to Yuuji but now he found himself agreeing with the young student that went away too soon. Life wasn’t that bad, Satoru could say that much even with his regrets.
Maybe I can find Nobara here. He thought while looking around.
He found himself in an airport that wasn't unfamiliar to him, but it did carry a weird chilling feeling that he didn’t like. To be dead and stuck in an afterlife airport was some type of karma, of that he was sure.
If this was actually afterlife or an illusion of his own dying brain, he couldn’t tell nor did he care. Satoru might as well go along with it to see what would happen, nothing left to lose and very few things to gain at that given moment.
He noticed quickly that he was with his old school uniform, a dark blue that he refused to wear again even after a decade of his graduation. The thought of finding more people wearing the same tone of uniform from his school days came and went quickly. No one from that time would be waiting for him, there was no reason to expect they would.
Overall the entire place looked like a normal airport, with thousands of people crossing his path and going to their destinations. No one could see him and if they could no one cared enough to spare him a glance. He tried to follow some people around, to see if he could find an exit or at least something to do.
It didn’t take long to discover that he couldn’t leave no matter what he did, something always happened to stop him from going out. It was mildly annoying but Satoru didn’t find strength in him to actually be mad about anything, the place was too nice and calming for any heavy feelings like that.
After what felt like three hours walking around, he finally decided to make another impulsive move and ask an attendant how he could actually leave. The place was nice and all but spending an eternity locked there felt too much like hell and he already had enough of that while being alive.
Satoru passed through a line full of waiting people and went directly to the balcony where a very calm and nice lady looked at him with a patient smile, not even telling him off for cutting the line like that.
“Hey! Uh, excuse me– Can you tell me where my destination is? Is there some type of ticket to heaven that I should buy or…”, he did try to be more casual than ever but it was unsettling seeing all the people around him knowing where to go while he was stuck in the same place for hours.
However, the nice lady shook her head. “You are not flying today, sir.”
He frowned, confused. “What– What does that mean?”
She kept the same smile and ignored his question. “Can you please step aside, sir? You are holding the line.”
Well, that didn’t help.
After that, no matter what and how he tried, no one paid attention or talked to him. It was truly like he was a ghost among other ghosts. All of them were dead but only him was being left out. Not only stuck, he was ultimately alone as well. Not that it’s a lot different from my regular life, he added on his mind accompanied with a chuckle.
The day shifted slowly, the big windows of the airport reflected the bright sun until something shifted and the sunset made itself a room in the sky with colorful clouds and a very dramatic orange taking over the scenario.
Satoru found himself quite hypnotized by the view. After some more hours running around he gave up and settled in the front seats by the window. He could see all the airplanes going away, there wasn’t one that arrived at the airport. He should have expected that no one would be able to go back to life, but really, not being able to go as well…
“That’s just boring”, he said to nothingness. No other people in the room but him, all the planes already gone and never returning.
It did remind him of the time he spent in prison. The atmosphere and situation were completely different but the sentiment of boredom was the same. He had no cursed energy as well so it only made the parallels more present in the back of his mind. However he didn’t think that killing himself would work for the airport.
Could a dead person die again? Challenging question.
When night came he finally decided to inspect the place again. Now that there really wasn’t a single soul around, maybe he could finally understand what was his purpose here or what in hell was that place. Worst case scenario he really was just stuck in an airport for all eternity.
He passed through every gate, every badge room, every shop and even the security areas. It wasn’t until he went back to the beginning that he found something. Someone. Between the chairs near the Check-in balcony was a small figure with the same dark tone as his uniform.
For the first time since he arrived at that place, he felt the creeping dread of anxiety, fear and worry wash over him. Satoru remembered the promise he made, just some weeks ago, about saving the same boy in front of him.
“Megumi–” He took a breath, feeling his heart break. Did he fail that badly?
The boy in front of him didn’t look up. His body was curled around the chair he was sitting on, making him look so, so small that it made Satoru remember when Megumi was just a kid. His boy looked defeated, even though there was no trace of wounds on him, Satoru did not settle down his worrying heart. He too looked fine even though he was cut in half just some hours ago.
Megumi wasn’t going to move from his seat, Satoru realized after a few seconds, too weak and fragile to even move. From whatever happened in the living world, his boy was beyond repair.
“Why– Fuck, why are you even here?” Satoru finds himself not being able to control his own dementor, it’s been a long time since he felt genuine fear and the weight of it was too heavy to bear. “Did you– Did you die?”
“I didn’t, not yet.” Megumi’s voice came as a whisper, a very angry and regretful one. “You should've killed me.”
It sounded a little bit like an accusation, but Satoru did not take that to heart. He knew the terrible pain that Megumi was feeling and he feared that there was nothing that he could do to calm his emotions, however he would gladly take the blame if it meant something for Megumi.
He takes a breath after hearing it, though. The confirmation that it was not over. He died and they were still fighting. He died and Megumi could still be saved. It would be difficult, yes, but he trusted his students more than anything in this world. They would be able to do what he couldn’t and more.
He looks over to Megumi again, small and lost and hopeless. Can they recover from it? After the war, would they be able to rise again? He can’t stop thinking that he did something wrong and looking at Megumi being so broken like that is not doing his pessimist thoughts any good.
Regardless, Satoru finds a place to sit next to his student, but never gets too close. For some reason he felt that even if he tried he wouldn’t be able to reach Megumi.
“I think me and you both know I would never be capable of it.” He chuckles without actually finding it funny. Humor was still his way to cope, even in death it seemed.. “The bastard was clever to get you, I should've expected it.”
“I killed Tsumiki.”
Satoru stopped for a second after hearing it. He knew it, Shoko had told him, but the fact still hurt. He stopped himself from thinking about her and her kindness, the wound of it all too fresh and too deep.
“You didn’t.” He said, hoping that it would reach Megumi somehow and remove a little bit of his guilt. If there was anyone to point fingers, it would be himself. “She was gone way before this entire mess, it wasn’t you, Megumi.”
“I can see everything and feel everything.” The boy manages to say, even weaker than before. “This body… This vessel– I’m nothing more than a murderer now, too.”
Satoru looked at him with a mix of empathy and pain. Somewhere in the timeline of events from his life he fucked up pretty badly and everything around him started to fall down and decay. After the incident in Tokyo and Kyoto he did everything in his power to protect what was left, but it wasn’t enough. He wasn’t enough.
“Not to me, you weren’t.” Megumi was so much more than what that fucking bastard was doing. His boy was much more than death and blood.
A long time ago, when Megumi was still a child, he cried. It happened one time and never again, it scared the shit out of Satoru, to see the strongest child he ever met break over an ice cream that fell to the ground.
At the time he held the boy strongly and promised he would always give him anything he wanted, no matter what. Months ago, Megumi asked him to save another boy’s life and Satoru followed his promise to the little kid he raised.
The airport around them was quiet.
“It wasn’t your fault either.” Megumi moved for the first time, turning his head to face him.
“I can argue with this one.” Satoru laughed. It was not funny.
The boy shook his head, even if weak he was determined to make his point through. “You can’t.” He said with a firm tone. “I’m not allowing you to, this is me stating a fact. You tried to do everything to protect us.”
Did I? Did I really? Satoru did not argue, but his mind ran miles.
“Where are we going, Megumi?” He decided to change the subject. Blame and guilt was something he knew that would be deep in his heart no matter where he went.
Megumi avoided his eyes this time, looking conflicted. He always was one to be direct and well spoken even when the situation was delicate, so seeing his hesitancy Satoru couldn’t stop himself from thinking that whatever was coming wouldn’t be good.
“You need to go back.” He didn’t elaborate but Satoru could feel the meaning of the words. “The fight is not over, yet.”
“I died.” And he really wanted that to be true for a second, to be done. But Megumi’s eyes were begging and he would give him whatever he wanted, always.
“I don’t think there is an end for people like us.” The words were heavy and exhausting. It took a second for Satoru to remember that Megumi was only fifteen. “Especially for you.”
Well, that sucks. Satoru thinks only slightly annoyed.
He really was hoping to get on one of those planes and have a vacation for eternity, maybe somewhere hot with beaches and a beautiful view. Away from the destruction that was inhabiting Japan and it’s surroundings. He knew they wouldn’t be done with him even after he was gone, but to go back was… Agonizing.
“And you?”
And then he watched as Megumi returned to his small posture, resigning to his fate. Still a vessel, still a weapon to kill. Yuuji was sentenced even if he could control the king of curses. Satoru had no idea if it was even possible to do it in Megumi’s case, to separate their souls. But if it was him that needed to go back to fight, then the answer was clear.
There was only so much both could do, only so much that they could say. Was there anything to make it better? To help the situation? Satoru wanted to hold him one last time, like he did all those years ago.
“I can’t leave. This fight is not mine.” What was unsaid was left for the night to carry.
“I see.”
If Satoru went back it would be to end everything, he would make sure of it. If he went back it would be to bring the worst in him and hope that it would make them win. Would it be enough this time? If they win, would it make a change?
He stopped thinking, because this was not about him or what he thought. He was needed and so he would do his work.
“Sensei?” Megumi called and it was painful and fragile and Satoru had to close his eyes to support the pressure his heart felt.
“Yes?”
His boy looked at him one last time, he didn’t move and Satoru didn’t either.
“Please, stop it.”
“I will”, he would always give him what he wanted, whatever it was.