Chapter Text
“Where are you guys? Hurry up!”
“What do you mean? Were almost at the quad. Where are you?” Nat answered as he speed-walked alongside James.
“I sent you a message. I'm at the tables near the Business Ad building. Haven’t you seen it yet?” Nunew told Nat while desperately trying to angle his seat.
“Why are you there? Is Zee….”
“Just hurry here Nat. You guys won’t get to eat if you continue blabbering. I already got food.” Nunew gritted his teeth as he spoke. He ended the call and then arranged the food on the table. He frequently looks across the area while also trying to be discreet about it, almost like instinct.
He’s wearing this blue hoodie today.
Nunew jotted down his notes. He let his eyes wander where he sat. This is a bit of a walk from their very own building. He would surely get an earful from Yim and James but decided to let it go. He meant to make it up to them by paying for their snacks.
Nunew glanced at his watch. He still has 45 minutes then Zee will leave for his next class. 15 minutes after that, he and his friends would need to walk back to their building.
He spent the next few moments taking small bites from his sandwich while watching Zee joke around with the people at his table. He noticed Abby’s hand glide at Zee’s back. He also saw her fix Zee’s hair, sweeping his fringe away to move it to the side. He noted the smile that Zee gave her and then his heart ached.
All the swear words that Yim prepared to hurl at Nunew seemed to stop at his throat. How can he say more when he sees the hurt in his friend’s eyes? He almost stopped but then continued to approach the table.
James was starting to whine when he felt Yim nudge his foot, signaling him to stop.
“I’m so hungry, I didn’t get to eat breakfast. Here, James, Nunew bought fries, eat!” Yim said.
Their friend picked on the fries as he tried to understand what was happening, then he heard an overly loud laugh from across the space. He snapped his head up just in time for Nunew to look down at his shoe. A trait that they know all too well.
“Why does he need to be hurting this much?” Yim asked in his head. “Why does Nunew need to be in so much pain? Why can’t it be someone else?”
It would be a question the friends would constantly wonder about. Same as the question the Nunew everyday asks himself.
They’ve been like this since Nunew fell for Zee. If you were to ask the friends, they wouldn't say that “Nunew has a crush” on Zee. They realized it even before the guy involved admitted it to himself. Their friend is “in love” with Zee.
Two years older, Zee meant the world to Nunew. Their friend met him on one of the hikes they had from the club they were all members of. Nunew met Zee there. They all met Zee from the hiking club. If it were just them, they would no longer be hiking. They had too much stuff to do but Nunew pleaded with them. At first, they thought that their friend was just really into hiking. After a while, they realized that it was something else.
Zee was an all-around good guy. Friendly, with top marks, and seemed to be always available to help others. He is easy-going and is fun to be with. Not to mention that he came from a well-off family which he never flaunts.
If there was something that’s a bit off with him is that the guy seems to be into “bad girls”. You know, the obnoxious, loud, slutty, girls. He seems to be a ladies’ man. There hasn’t been a period when he doesn’t seem to have a girlfriend. Not that he played, but there was never a lack of a girl beside him.
Having transferred from a school in the province, Nunew had gotten to know Zee almost instantaneously. During that time, he knew Zee already had a girlfriend. After two weeks of observing him from afar, he found himself with this intense like for the man.
Early on he knew nothing would come out of all of this. The most basic, the man seemed to be as straight as straight can be.
While Nunew isn’t.
So, he has taken to just keeping his feelings to himself. He sure can’t do anything about it, right?
His friends had gotten around to knowing his affections for the man and often tried to understand. Nunew has kept them on the same schedule as Zee. Knowing where he hangs out and where he can see him, if only for a few treasured minutes. Their friend was in stalker mode as they joked. Nunew kept Zee’s schedule better than himself. He knows where he’ll be hanging and who he was with.
For Nunew, it wasn’t rocket science. Zee is a very sociable person. His social media platforms are always updated. All Nunew needed to do was to turn all his notifications on for Zee.
Even if he is head-over-heels for the man, Nunew has always tried to be inconspicuous. An introvert as he is, also didn’t want to be a bother. He didn't want Zee to notice him. After all, even if he desperately wanted it, they couldn’t be together. Which adds more to the pain.
Often at night, when sleep seems to not come even if he wanted, he tries to think of a way out of his situation. He knows he is in too deep. He also knows that this will be going nowhere.
A notif came for Zee’s IG. He eagerly clicked on it and smiled warmly at the picture. It’s Zee with his niece. He often posts about her. Nunew has come to find out while stalking his platforms, that the man loves kids. There were many pictures of him with his niece and of children of unknown friends. He would often note how Zee always seemed to be in his element taking care of children. He remembered that the man also volunteered in shelters and orphanages.
Nunew found that really endearing. And heartbreaking too. On the off chance that Zee might become interested in him too, he can’t ever give Zee children. And as much as he loves the man, his heart can’t make him go through life without what he loves. The idea of Zee with his own kids, Nunew’s heart swelled, and he puffed air out to numb the pain that ached in his being.
He then laughed out loud despite himself. His brain cracks him up sometimes. He’s thinking of giving Zee a child when he knows they can’t even be an item. It sucks being gay! If only the omegaverse was real, he would have had a small fighting chance. Yup! Zee is just a dream. One that won’t ever come true.
He fell asleep wishing that time would go easy on him. He wished to be given a period to ride his feelings out. Maybe if he courses through life just one day at a time, he will eventually wake up not wanting Zee anymore. Then, his first love will be over.