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Summary:

"I've been thinking. I want kids." Declared Crowley. It was a wet Thursday afternoon.

Aziraphale spat out his tea.

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"I've been thinking. I want kids." Declared Crowley. It was a wet Thursday afternoon.

 

Aziraphale spat out his tea.

 

--

 

"I was thinking about what you said dear, and while I know you're very good with kids, I have a few questions?"

 

"Sure, fire away" said Crowley with an indifferent flick of his hand. His attention was rather focused on airdropping photos of loading screens to passers by.

 

"Well, how many would you like?" inquired Aziraphale.

 

"Eh, six? Good number that" was the frankly blazé answer he received.

 

"Good lord. And... where would we house them? It's not like we've got heaps of space here" muttered the angel, looking around the bookshop.

 

At this, Crowley sat forward. "Oh see I was thinking" "dangerous" "Shut up. Anyway. It's not like we make much use of the attic of the roof so I was thinking we could, you know..." He wiggled his fingers.

 

Aziraphale hummed and nodded. At least there had been some thought gone into this. Now, how to put this politely.

 

"And, ah, how would we. Well. Would we adopt or would it be... natural?"

 

"Oh! I was thinking start off adopting and then a few years down the line we can see how things are going and see if we fancy" at this Crowley paused, blushing, demon yet a prude to the core "-breeding?"

 

"Well you just had to phrase it like that!"

 

--

 

It was the sort of Saturday you'd take your umbrella out with you but keep leaving it everywhere you visited, causing several suspicious glares from shopkeepers upon retrieval.

 

"I thought I should tell you. About the - ahem - breeding. I'd be more than happy to be the one to Make an Effort. I've always fancied myself as quite the caregiver. If that's alright with you of course?"

 

"Sure, sounds great Angel"

 

Well, he'd been expecting a little pushback, or at the very least excitement.

 

--

 

"So, I've started sorting out upstairs but please don't go up there til it's done. Oh, and I've got two kids coming on Wednesday"

 

"But that's tomorrow!" Exclaimed Aziraphale. "How- what- but- is this even legal?"

 

"Alright keep your socks on! Paperwork's barely anything, didn't even have to resort to miracles. So glad you're with me on this Angel" replied Crowley with a peck to his cheek, then he set off up the stairs.

 

"Tomorrow..." Whispered Aziraphale. "I think this is moving too fast."

 

Crowley paused, turned, gulped and said, "well, I'm sure I can let them know. It won't be hard to delay it a few days-" he saw Aziraphale's face "-or weeks! Maybe even months! Please Angel I thought you were happy about this?"

 

"Yes no of course, tomorrow. Don't want to dash their hopes, poor things. Just took my by surprise, give me a minute to get used to the idea. Oh! How old are they? What are their names? Are they related?"

 

Crowley checked his phone. "Daisy, 1 year old, Camilla, 3, doesn't mention they're related so I guess not?"

 

"Oh the poor things, so young! Do you need me to pick anything up for you? I'm afraid I haven't been of any use at all, I didn't realise the time frame was so imminent" offered Aziraphale. Do the papers really go through so quickly? It hadn't even been a week!

 

"Nah, your golden. Just pick out some good bedtime stories from your stacks there. Nearly finished up here anyway. They're due to arrive at 10 tomorrow so make sure you're up and snappy." And with that, Crowley disappeared up the stairs.

 

--

 

When Crowley rushed back in after some last minute errands the following morning, she had her hair in long pigtails and was wearing a deep red tracht. Aziraphale looked down at his own outfit, the champagne suit (beige), camel waistcoat (dark beige) and magnolia shirt (light beige) felt decidedly understated compared to her vibrant dress.

 

"Oh dear, should I change? They're going to think I'm dreadfully boring,"

 

"You look wonderful, Angel," Crowley reassured him "Anyway, I'm not sure they can really see colour? And you'll probably get mucky so I have aprons upstairs. All taken care of."

 

"Oh thank you ever so, -"

 

At this point the door of the bookshop opened, the bell above jangling. Aziraphale gulped and grabbed for Crowley's hand, squeezing tighter than strictly necessary, but he got a gentle pat in response anyway. The people walking in were dressed in dark green overalls and carrying-

 

"Goats," croaked Aziraphale.