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Stay.
The thought echoed in his mind like a ghost.
“I’m not exactly sure how future you being there with hydra you will work out but we’ll figure it out, Buck.” Steve was trying his best to sound neutral, but failing miserably. Bucky could hear that small twinge of excitement bleeding through.
Stay.
“And as for the arm... well I’m sure Shield can work something out with that, too.”
They both laughed. Of course Shield could do something. But how good could 40’s tech really be?
Stay.
“And I’m thinking we don’t tell them. It’s really not a big deal, because we’re going either way... I just think this will be easier. Especially with Sam.”
Stay!
It was a scream in his mind, building up louder and louder. Sam. So much had changed with them. Hell, Steve didn’t even know about it all. If he did would he still be asking so much out of Bucky?
“We can hide out a couple of years, then come back. I’m sure Peggy will still be friends with that girl. You know I’m not saying she’s your only option, but she does love technology” A glance to Bucky’s arm almost made him cringe. Almost. “Plus she’s always been all over you. Maybe a haircut first would help.”
Bucky thought of the time they were in hiding. Sam had come to visit and check in on him for Steve. His surprisingly big hands running through Bucky’s hair to help him put it in a messy bun.
Stay.
“And explaining it all to Peggy might be tough but-“
“I can’t.” Even though the words were barely a whisper they still managed to cut Steve off dead in his tracks.
“Well I can do all the talking, Buck. I always do.” Steve’s smile was weak, realizing what Bucky truly meant. “Oh.”
“I’m sorry I just-“
“Don’t. You don’t ever have to explain to me. I’m doing this for Peggy. You’re doing it for love too.”
The hollow feeling in his stomach felt odd and out of place. Steve had basically given him his blessing, yet Bucky was so filled with nervous energy over making that decision that all he really wanted to do was throw up.
“I guess this is the end of the line then.” He could barely look Steve in the eyes. The hug that engulfed him was more surprising than anything. “I love you, Buck.”
“I love you, too, Stevie.”
———————
Stay. The hardest decision he’s ever had to make in his life. But the best.
“Papa who’s that.” Their daughter looked up at him with big brown eyes. Despite not being related to either of them she radiates pure Sam energy.
“That’s your Uncle Steve and your Auntie Nat.” Bucky stared down at the picture of them together. A strange pang of sadness echoed through him in a way it hadn’t done in years.
“And they were both hero’s.” Sam’s voice rang out from the kitchen. Bucky smiled, knowing Sam always listened in on their conversations. “Are you going to tell her some stories or do I gotta come in there and do it myself?”
Of course Bucky had more than enough stories to fill the rest of the day. But he’d much rather hear Sam’s voice. After a moment of silence he heard a loud sigh from the kitchen followed by the sound of a dish being placed on the counter.
“Alright move over you two. It’s story time.”