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Akito huffed as he waited for Toya to come to the Street Sekai. He had been preparing for this confession for over a year, and he was concerned over whether or not Toya would follow through on the meeting spot. He hears Toya approach, and quickly wipes his face of any emotion.
“Toya!” Akito cries out. “Hey!” He smiles nervously.
Toya chuckles. “You’re the one that asked to meet. What do you need?”
Toya felt his heart beat steadily faster in his chest. He had been waiting for a confession for so long, and the mere possibility that it could occur now made his face flush in anticipation. He keeps his face blank, though, to keep his expectations low. Akito exhales sharply, loosening his nerves.
“Listen, Toya. It’s been a great year being able to perform together, but-” Toya’s heart sank.
Was this not the confession he was waiting for, but rather the rejection he had always feared? Before Akito could say anything else, Toya stepped back, face ashen.
“I’m sorry,” Toya said, averting his gaze. “I know what you’re about to say.”
Akito’s eyes widened. “D-does that mean you…?” His face brightened.
“Yes, Akito. I’ll take my leave. I understand your feelings," Toya says frigidly, turning to wipe his face.
Akito’s face falls. “Wait.. You don’t—?”
“Of course I don’t!” Toya explodes, whirling around with thick tears dripping down his face. “I would NEVER! But if YOU feel that way, then I–”
His sobs choke off. He thinks of his father, who had never given him any approval or mentions of love that a father would typically express to their sons, and then feels his heart pang at Akito. Toya thought he might have been able to feel something with Akito, but if this is how it was going to be, he might as well never feel love again. Toya turned away.
“MIKU-DAYO! Hello Akito-kun! How did the confession go?” She bounded in front of him, her hand excitedly grabbing Akito’s shoulders as he trudged down the Sekai, miserably hanging his head down low.
“Oh, Miku.”
Miku’s face falls, realizing Akito’s mood was less than stellar for a boy that should have confessed his feelings to someone he had a crush on.
“Did it not go well?” Miku asks sadly, her autotuned voice drooping. Akito stops, unable to look Miku in the eye. His shoulders tremble, and Miku’s heart aches as the typically confident vocalist began to cry silently.
She was confused, though. When she had a conversation with Toya, briefly scoping out whether Toya was up for a relationship, he seemed perfectly fine with being partners with boys, and had no ill will against Akito. Rather, it seemed Toya himself had a crush on Akito, too, and Miku was almost certain that the confession would go on with no hitches.
She would get to the bottom of this, no matter strenuous it would be. Giving Akito his space, she backs off to go find Toya, who she finds in the Street Sekai diner, his head in his hands. Miku sits across from him, pulling out a chair.
“What’s up?” She tries to be casual, but Toya seems to sink further into his misery. He mumbles in his arms, and Miku leans forward to try to catch his mutterings.
"Come again?"
"I said, it's nothing. Please go away, Miku."
"C'mon, turn that frown upside down! You can't feel better if you bottle up what's making you upset. Please tell me what's wrong?"
There was a moment of contemplation before Toya slowly lifted his head from his hands.
"It's about Akito," he says quietly. "I thought he would... share the same ideas as me, and for a short while I truly believed we had something special. But I guess things aren't always what they seem, and-" his throat closes up and he looks away quickly, hiding his face in his bangs. His next words were watery and trembling, a barely coherent string of consciousness.
"He doesn't like me, Miku. He never did."
She reaches out and gently grasps Toya's hands in hers. "Hey," she says softly. "What gave you that impression? I always thought you and Akito were... you know." He shakes his head, tremors only growing.
"He told me," Toya managed to choke out.
Miku was puzzled. Something wasn't lining up properly between both Toya and Akito's testimonies, as well as with how both individuals were reacting to the falling out. "Could I ask how he said it?"
Toya sniffed, wiping his eyes and laughing wetly. "Akito was nice about it, if you're thinking about confronting him. He tried to let me down gently, talking about how long we performed together, but I knew where he was leading up to. His averted gaze. His usual grin, at the time turned contemplative and worried. He was preluding to a rejection. I didn't want him to face that burden alone. So I helped him finish parting ways with me. Even if he wanted nothing to do with me, I'd still do anything to help him. Even if it hurts."
Toya put his hands in his pockets and kept his head low, ending the conversation there. Miku figured that was enough emotional turmoil for the day, and gave her thanks before quietly stepping outside to think.
She would fix this. She found that it was her duty. And she knew exactly where to start.
Toya stared aimlessly out the window of the subway train, home just a few minutes away. He loved An and Kohane like they were his own sisters, but he was considering resigning from the band once more. He wasn't sure how well he would be able to perform from then on if he was to be in proximity to A-
The train screeches to a halt, calling for the next stop. The bustle of people interrupt his thoughts, and Toya briefly lifts his head at a flash of ginger that's gone in a blur. He frowns, but continues to contemplate at his seat as the cart quickly gets moving again.
It was perhaps the puttering of the wheels against the rails that failed to notify him of the added presence. Possibly the low murmur in the train, the dimming light from the sunset, or the constant reports on when the train would arrive at the next station. Or, as Toya refused to admit, perhaps he was too used to his presence that he wouldn't have noticed him no matter the situation.
Akito sat himself down beside Toya, saying something that's lost to the loud rush of blood in Toya's ears. As he fails to respond, Akito only leans in closer, and suddenly it was just the two of them instead of the twenty-or-so people in the packed car.
Time slowed. Toya failed to keep his attention away, and gray met viridian.
"Toya," said the boy that was closest to his heart. "I have something to tell you," mouthed lips he had longed to kiss since the day they'd met, a voice with the tenor smoother than the sweetest of honey. Toya blinked, and suddenly everything was in motion once again.
It wasn't wise for him to agree to listen. He can only drag you down further, his traitorous mind whispered. But Toya could never say no to Akito. He nods his assent.
Akito, who had sat down with a wrinkle in his brow, immediately relaxed. Toya's mouth began to twitch into a smile, but he quickly stamped it down. He doesn't like you like that anymore. Remember what he said yesterday.
"I think we might have had a misunderstanding," Akito began. "I want to continue where we left off yesterday."
Oh, how quickly Toya's mood constantly shifted. The air turned icy, his eyes narrowing. "I know exactly how you feel, Akito. You don't need to cement what's already been established."
"No, no. You see, it's not like that. Toya, I lo-"
The train bumped, the person on Akito's opposite side accidentally bumping Akito forward. Their heads, which were already rather close together, came dangerously close to hitting, and Toya quickly jerked his head down as Akito shifted upward.
Toya's eyes widened in shock. Akito turned a peculiar shade of pink.
The first thing that slowly filtered in Toya's mind was the softest of sensations brushing against his lip. Without thinking, his tongue darted out and barely brushed against the velvety feeling, tongue meeting teeth as Akito barely parted his lips, surging forward.
The kiss was brief, but it felt like a lifetime as Toya let his eyes flutter shut and simply feel, the thought that, just for a moment, he was wanted pushing him to crave more. Akito parts first, nose a charmingly bright red as he smiles with his teeth, a little laugh bubbling from his chest.
He finishes what he was saying, all smiles, and Toya couldn't believe he was stupid to see otherwise.
"I love you."
"Now arriving. Please prepare your belongings as the train comes to a stop."
He puts his hands to his mouth, unable to say anything more. Toya was certain his face was as red as a tomato, but in the moment there was nothing that could possibly matter more than Akito. Akito, who was always bold and pushing himself constantly to always be the best. Akito, who was kind and found time to listen to anyone's woes, even if he wore an expression of disgruntlement to hide his caring nature. Akito, who was always so irritatingly, agonizingly beautiful, full of passion and spark every time he poured his heart into each song they sang. Akito, who Toya loved so dearly, who loves him.
"You're going to miss your stop," Akito says with a glimmer in his eyes. He's still smiling.
Toya grabs his shirt collar and mashes their faces together once more, eyes welling up with tears that he refused to address. He kissed Akito with a laugh, teeth bumping teeth and barely able to keep his lips on Akito's.
It was a horrible kiss, but Toya wouldn't ask for a better one in any universe.
"I love you too, idiot."
And there was no one else that Toya could ever love more.