Khui Knows All: A T4T Ice Planet Barbarians / Icehome / Ice Planet Clones Romance

by DimensionWest

Summary:

Evan hides out on Not-Hoth after turning in his slaver to the authorities. His plan is to stay on the planet until justice is served, but his finds himself falling for Lucky, the daughter of Tiffany and Salukh. She's the only other person on this planet that seems to understand him, and he's not sure what's more important: love, or freedom.

Notes:

This is a T4T romance (trans for trans for those who don't know) set in the Ice Planet Barbarians / Icehome / Ice Planet Clones universe as written by Ruby Dixon. Evan is an original character, and Lucky is based off of Tiffany and Salukh's original child "Lukti." I am imagining, in this story, what it would be like to be a gender variant person in this universe, both as someone in captivity and someone on a remote planet. I am trying to imagine a more trans expansive universe, as I love Ruby Dixon's series but they are pretty bio-essentialism-ish.

I will be working on this as time goes on. I don't really know if anyone but me will find this interesting, but I want to write some fun queer, transgender, monster romances and this is my start!

A note about me: I am a queer trans man who is writing this. I am trying my best to be sensitive to my characters but I am also just one guy with one experience of gender and sexuality!

Chapter 1: A Harsh Landing

“I understand that I need the khui to survive, but I’m not accepting this fucking worm until I talk to some sort of doctor,” Evan said, as calmly as he could. He was digging his nails into his fist, shivering both from the cold and the fear.

I did not come this far in my transition for some fucking Mpreg ending, Evan thought, a hysterical chuckle coming up his throat.

One of the sa-khui pointed his spear at Evan. “This is not up for conversation. We do not have time to coddle your anxious feelings. Everyone needs a khui, and you are not the exception.” The demon looking alien jabbed his spear forward slightly, indicating Evan should accept the khui offered to him by one of the other bloodied aliens.

“Look, I’ll take the khui once I talk to a doctor of some sort. I have, uh, a special medical condition that the worm could interact with and kill me.” This wasn’t exactly a lie; Evan would kill himself if the khui forced him to resonate.

“We do not have time to find you one of the healers! You will take the khui and you can talk to them after!” The alien was jabbing his spear at Evan again, and some of the other humans looked around frightened. One of the humans that seemed to have already been living here, noticed the alien threatened Evan and jogged over.

“Babe, what’s going on? You’re freaking out the newbies.” The woman turned to Evan with a large smile, and held out her hand.

“Hey, I’m Liz. What’s going on? Are you freaked out about the khui? When they tried to give me one, I tried to run away. It all works out though, and you really do need one.”

Liz smiled confidently at Evan as she pushed down the big alien’s spear. “Raahosh, stop glowering. We’re not going to threaten the nice humans, okay? That didn’t work on me and it’s certainly not going to work on them.”

Evan paused for a moment, evaluating his options. He didn’t know Liz at all, but she seemed nice and he really needed to figure out what to do about the khui.

“Liz, could we talk somewhere privately for a second? I have a medical question I need answered before I can accept the khui. I asked for a healer but apparently there isn’t one around?”

Raahosh started shaking his head no as Liz strolled over to Evan. “Babe, I’m going to just jog over a few feet away and answer Evan’s questions, and you’re going to help the rest of the humans get their cooties without anyone crying okay?”

Raahosh growled and Liz smiled sweetly at him. “I’ll be right over there, and I’ll holler if I need any help, okay?”

Liz started to walk a few feet away from Raahosh and Evan followed behind her. Once they were a safe distance away, Liz turned to face Evan.

“Alright, what’s up? I’m not a healer but I’ve been around this place for quite some time.”

If it weren’t freezing cold, Evan would be sweating. He crossed his arms and rubbed his hands up and down, trying to bring some warmth into his body.

“Uh, I’m not sure how to say this,” Evan started, and Liz smiled again.

“Just spit it out. We don’t have all day and I wanna get home and warm up sooner rather than later.”

“I’m transgender.” Evan said nervously, and Liz blinked a few times.

“Okay, I wasn't expecting that. In which direction?”

“I’m a trans man.”

Liz looked him up and down. “You look like a guy though?”

Evan sighed deeply. “Well, first off, I am a guy. Long story short: I had my genes altered and had some gender affirming surgery when I was an enslaved person. I’m not a clone like these other people. I’m from Earth, and was in stasis until I was woken up to be a glorified personal assistant for a slaver. I snitched on him though in return for my freedom. I was told I could hide out here until they arrested and jailed him. I didn’t know anything about the khui though. I can’t have my gene alteration, well, altered. I don’t want to get pregnant or have my body change back to its… well original form.”

When Evan was done speaking, he realized his eyes were welling up with tears. He was tired, cold, emotionally exhausted, and just wanted to close his eyes and undo everything he had done.

There was a long pause from Liz, who then said “can I give you a hug?”

Evan felt himself nodding instantly. She pulled him to her and he stood stiffly as she rubbed his back.

“That seems like a lot, and I get why you didn’t want the khui. I have good news and I have bad news. Which do you want first?”

Evan pulled away from the hug and clenched his jaw. “Bad news first.”

Liz shook her head. “Trick question. It’s all good news. We actually have, well I don’t know if she’d really consider herself trans, but we have someone who on Earth would be considered transfeminine. Her khui gave her a female puberty though. I’m not sure exactly how much the khui can do, but it should mimic whatever your HRT was doing on Earth.”

“Okay, so there’s nothing bad?” Evan asked.

“I mean the only bad thing is if you want any more gender affirming surgery, it’s going to take some time. Whoever freed you was right, you can hide out here safely because we are far as fuck away from civilization. Nobody is gonna track you down here. The slight catch is that means you won’t be able to get any more gender affirming surgeries for a while. Probably once a year they send a spaceship to check on us, give us some supplies, and there’s a medical bay onsite that can do basically most procedures. I’m not sure if gender affirming surgery is in that medical bay's repertoire though. If it isn’t, I’m sure we could get the ship to bring you to a more advanced medical center, but it’s not happening anytime soon.”

“Okay, I can wait a year. I waited my whole life anyways. What about resonating? Will the khui force me to resonate with someone?”

Liz shook her head again. “The khui is extremely attuned to our bodies. We’ve had several cases of the khui not inducing resonance until the person is ready. And since you’d never want resonance, your khui would never activate it.”

“And you know that for sure?”

Liz sighed. “Look, I get it. I’m just some lady on an alien planet trying to convince you to get a parasite put into your neck. You have no reason to trust me. But I promise you, there are people on this planet who will never resonate because they don’t want to. Some because of trauma from slavery, some because they never want to have kids, and some for reasons I don’t know. But the khui will never force you to resonate.”

“I need a moment to think,” Evan replied, and Liz rubbed his arm again. “Take a few minutes. You can be last to get the cootie if you want.”

Liz started to walk away before Evan called out to her. “Can we keep this conversation between us?”

Liz laughed and said “what conversation?” and walked back to Raahosh.

Evan sat in the cold and wondered for the millionth time if he made the right call. He hadn’t been happy as a slave to C’lart, but he had his needs met. He had food to eat and safety and hadn’t C’lart even gotten him his genes changed and his top surgery? But Evan thought back to Alexandria, and the fear in her eyes when she had been sold away. How she had tried not to cry, keeping up a brave face even as the door closed on her. How C’lart hadn’t cared. How C’lart could have done that to Evan too. And this was the price of that decision, being beyond freezing cold on an alien planet with no toilets. No television, no books, no dessert, all the little things that had made his life easier as a slave. Forced to survive essentially as a caveman, when the most useful skill he had was bookkeeping.

I’ll figure it out, I always do, he thought to himself, and took a deep breath. Time to eat a fucking worm, or whatever he had to do to get this khui inside of himself.

Chapter 2: Lucky Lady

Summary:

In which Evan gets to meet his new roommate, Lucky!

Notes:

Chapter 2 y'all! Thanks for reading, hopefully we'll get to the good stuff soon. It's like eating your vegetables before dessert... I gotta set up the world before we can get to the straight romance!

Evan stood nervously behind Liz as they approached the camp that made up Icehome. He had been following Liz like a baby duck since she had offered him a sliver of kindness, and she had good naturedly teased him about it.

“Evan, babe, I’m gonna step on you if you get any closer to me,” she joked as he got even closer to her. 

“Sorry, sorry, it’s just you’re the only normal one around here,” he replied. 

Liz let out a huge laugh. 

“Raahosh, are you hearing this? Evan said I was the most normal one here. Oh God I can’t wait to tell Harlow this. Sweet, simple Evan, I’m the craziest one on this planet!”

Evan frowned and jogged to keep up with her as she quickly approached the camp.

“Look, how is it so easy for you to move through this snow? Is there a trick to doing it?”

Evan hopped in the indents Liz’s boots had made in the snow; otherwise walking his own way, he got hopelessly bogged down in the snow.

“Nope, no trick, though snowshoes help. You just get used to it. You’ll see!”

I doubt anyone ever gets used to this, but whatever, Evan thought to himself as he panted. 

As Evan paused as he got close to the Icehome he had heard so much about. Liz had given him and the other new humans a choice: Icehome, Croatoan, or the Ancestor’s Land. Icehome was by the sea, and supposedly less cold, though he was finding it hard to believe he would ever warm up again. Croatoan had some sort of ancient plumbing, but apparently during the brutal season it was so cold you couldn’t leave your hut. The Ancestor’s Land was warm at least, but it was underground and Evan couldn’t imagine not having the sky. Honestly all of them were extremely unappealing to him, but he’d learned how to use the toilet in less than ideal situations while enslaved, so that was less of a problem with Icehome. Besides, as he observed Icehome, it looked nice enough. There were many huts along the shoreline, with enough space between them that it seemed to give enough privacy. There were several big fires with people crowded around them, and he spied even more different kinds of aliens. 

It’s a waiting game, he thought to himself, I just need to hold tight until C’lart gets his ass sent to jail and then, and then I’ll hang out at Risda, and be a farmer I guess?

That’s where the plan had gone fuzzy for him. Lord va’Rin had generously offered him a house on Risda, which seemed like the best bet for safety. Slavery had been outlawed in the universe, but it was pretty hard to enforce that, and Evan did not want to get snatched and stolen again. That meant that he was going to sit alone in a small house on a farm planet though. 

At least there’s television, things to read, and proper toilets, he reminded himself, trying to shake off the anxiety of the future. One step at a time. 

Liz started to greet people as she approached the edge of Icehome, and Evan nervously stood behind her. He had been the only human who wanted to go to Icehome, the other humans were too appalled by the lack of toilets. It had just been him, Liz and Raahoosh on the journey back to Icehome, as the three other humans followed a different couple back to Croatoan. The journey had been okay; Evan liked Liz and her strange sense of humor, but Raahoosh was pretty intimidating and reserved. Evan liked seeing him soften though when Liz stood on her tiptoes for a kiss though. 

“...And this is our new friend Evan.” Liz said, and Evan recentered into the conversation to see her had followed her to the center of the village. Aliens and humans alike, in various degrees of leather clothing and knitwear were both smiling and glaring at him. It seems like most of the humans were friendly, extending their hands for a handshake and a huge hello. Their male partners stood behind them protectively, seemingly eyeing Evan up whenever he interacted with someone’s mate.

Jesus Christ, he thought to himself, rolling his eyes when another male alien pulled his partner into his arms after Evan said hello. As if I’m a big threat, all 5’5 of me. 

Evan was introduced to what felt like an endless amount of people, none of whose names he remembered after even a second. Finally Liz led him over to a hut and jingled a wind chime of seashells.

“Okay, pro tip for Icehome– always knock. Always. Knock, or shake the wind chime if the hut has one. Seriously, don’t ignore this rule.”

Evan nodded.

“Evan, seriously. Trust me okay? You do not want to walk in on a resonance couple resonating. I promise.”

“Yeah, okay, got it. You’re all horny weirdos. Message received.”

Liz laughed and jingled the wind chime again.

“Lucky, it’s Liz, are you free for a chat?”

There was no response from the hut, but Liz continued to shake the wind chime and started singing a little song.

“Oh Lucky, Lucky Lady, open your hut to meeeeeeeeee.”

Finally, Evan heard some motion from the inside of the hut. A leather screen was pulled away from the flap of the door, and a sa-khui appeared. On second thought, Evan thought this person was a descendant of one of the original human and sa-khui couples Liz had told him about, like Liz’s children. She was a dark blue, darker than most of the other hybrid people he had seen around. She had no protective plating, and two small horns on her forehead. Her hair was done into twists, and reached her shoulders. 

“What do you want?” she grumbled, and Liz beamed at her. 

“Well Lucky, do you want the good news or the bad news first?”

Lucky glared at Liz, and then her eyes narrowed even more as she took in Evan.

“Let me guess, I’m getting a roommate?”

“Ding ding ding! Always such a smart cookie!”

Lucky sighed deeply, and moved back into her hut while motioning the two of them to come in. Liz entered the hut and Evan took a deep breath before entering as well. 

Time to see what barbaric living arrangements I’m going to get used to, he thought to himself.

Inside Lucky’s hut though, he was pleasantly surprised. It was roomy, even with him and Liz sitting around a fire. The center of the hut has a large fire pit, with the floor being made of stone and mortar. There were little pillows to sit on so no one’s butt would be cold, and what looked like a metal pot was hanging over the firepit. The hut had a tall ceiling so that even Lucky didn’t have to crouch, and there seemed to be a smoke hole in the ceiling so that it didn’t become congested when cooking. The walls had stone shelves, and Evan joyfully observed there seemed to be books, as well as some personal knick knacks. In the corner there was what seemed like a rudimentary bed, piled with furs, knitted blankets, and some other textured material he didn’t recognize. A large woven basket was piled high with leather and knit wear, and Lucky’s boots were carefully placed by the entrance. It was a cozy home, though he wasn’t sure how he was going to share it with her. As he stopped looking around the hut, he realized Liz had been talking to Lucky the whole time.

“.... and he’s not going bunking with you forever. Just until he gets a hut made of his own. It could be worse, he came with three women and so we could have been making four more abodes instead of one. I’ll talk to everyone about it at the next big communal meeting, and you’ll see how soon he gets out of your hair. In the meantime, he does need a place to crash, and you’re the only one…” Liz trailed off.

“Who hasn’t resonated,” Lucky answered flatly.

“Look, it’s not that. Plenty of people haven’t or won’t resonate. It’s you’re the only person who isn’t partnered up or doesn’t have a traumatic backstory that would not allow for a man to be living in your hut. You get it, don’t you?”

Lucky sighed deeply.

“Yeah, I get it. Now what’s this good news?”

Liz perked up, and waved dramatically at Evan. 

“Guess whose job is a bookkeeper!?” 

Both Evan and Lucky looked at Liz dumbly. 

“What’s a bookkeeper?” Lucky asked.

“Why the fuck would you need a bookkeeper?” Evan said at the same time. 

“Well, you’ve been talking about archiving life here on Not-Hoth and Evan can help you do that!”

“Well, Liz, when I was a bookkeeper I mostly worked with electronic recording systems. And I also did things like, tracking shipments and making sure payments got sent. I don’t know if I’m the right fit for this job.” 

Liz rolled her eyes. “Look, Evan, I spent a couple of days with you. I know you’re a good fit for the job. Sure, it’s different to use handmade paper and ink to record, and you’re going to be recording different things. But you have an analytical mind, I saw it clearly while we were walking over here. You asked a million questions about everything and clearly tried to understand it. So many people here just accept things the way they are. Lucky doesn’t do that, and neither do you. Devi had tried to work on this many years ago, but all she cared about was scientific things, like species and fossils and mushrooms. Besides her, no one else really cares. Everything is oral history and while that’s good, it’s better to pool our knowledge and create a formal place to store it so we can all learn better. Lucky’s been working on it for a while, but it’s a slow job with just one person, and frankly it’s lonely. You two are more alike than you think. Trust me.”

Lucky looked at Evan and seemed to eye him over. 

“Evan, was it? What do you think?”

“I don’t know, I’m not going to even be here that long. I’m not sure I’ll even need a hut made for myself.”

Liz laughed. “First things, you’re probably not getting picked up anytime soon. It’s not a quick trip to get to Not-Hoth, and if I had to guess they’re going to pick you up when they do the next medical shipment. A couple of weeks with Lucky, and trust me, you’ll want a hut. Second, didn’t you say you were worried about being bored? Trapped in a hut all day with nothing to do? You didn’t seem interested in hunting, and while there’s plenty of work to go around, I can’t imagine you’d want to do a lot of it. Lastly, not to be a hardass, but we’re a community. If you want us to help support you and protect you, you gotta give it back in return.”

Evan closed his eyes and rubbed his fingers against the side of his head.

“Yeah, okay, let’s give it a go.”

Chapter 3: Tough Talk

Evan fidgeted as Lucky moved around her hut. Liz had left shortly after convincing him to be Lucky’s bookkeeping assistant. She had given him a quick hug on her way out and whispered “give her a shot, okay?” before exiting. Now Lucky and him were in the hut they would be sharing for the foreseeable future. Evan didn’t know what to do, and in that absence of knowledge, chose to do nothing. A well learned behavior of a slave; when not knowing, do nothing. Lucky, meanwhile, was pacing around the hut, periodically picking up objects and moving them around. After a few minutes of this, Lucky seemed to settle. Plopping onto her bed, she signed deeply and closed her eyes.

“Well, let’s make the best of it, why don’t we?” she said, staring up at her ceiling.

“Do you see that book on the shelf? Grab it, a cup of ink, and a pen. We can start making a list now.”

Evan got up and found a large, rudimentary book. Flipping through it, he saw the paper was handmade, sewn together, with a leather front and back to protect it. There was plenty of writing, but a large portion of it was crossed out or written over. Most of the pages were entirely crossed out or scribbled on top of, and frankly, it looked like the book of a madman. Closing the book, Evan located the cup of ink and some feathers that had been made into quills. He sat down again on the pillow and opened the book for it to rest on his lap. As soon as he had touched the pen to the page, Lucky started rattling off words.

“Clothing. Bed. Blanket. Fire starter. Shoes. Snow boots. Cloak. Hat. Scarf. Mittens. Bowls. Cups. Pot. Writing supplies. Waterskin. Bag.”

Evan wrote quick and clean, and by the end of her string of words, had recorded a nice list. As he finished writing, Lucky got up to peer over to look at what he had written. She crouched down next to him, but even at that height she loomed over him. He smelled smoke, spices, and musk; it wasn’t unappealing, it was just new. Working for C’lart had been sterile at best, and filthy at worst. 

Evan held his breath as she judged his writing. 

“Yeah, okay. You write fast, which is good.”

Evan felt a flicker of pleasure in his chest, like a small flame. He didn’t know why he cared if she thought he was good at writing, but he did. 

Probably because I’m stuck living with her, Evan guessed.

Luck stood up from crouching, and started to lace her boots up. Evan stayed sitting, until Lucky snapped at him.

“You coming or what?”

“Oh, sure, yeah okay. Sorry, I didn’t realize I was supposed to come.” 

Lucky rolled her eyes. “Who do you think this is all for?” she replied, not unkindly. 

Even though Evan stood up to go, he protested. “I really don’t need all this stuff. I’m not going to be here super long, just long enough for things to cool down in my situation.”

“And what situation would that be exactly?” Lucky asked, holding open the flap of the hut to let Evan out.

“Long story short, I need to hang out here until some things blow over.”

Lucky stood waiting outside the hut, clearly waiting for him to expand on his sentence. When Evan didn’t divulge any more details, she started off towards a cluster of caves in distance. Evan had to jog to keep up with her, panting puffs of breath in the cold temperature. 

“Look, really, I can just wear this until I get picked up again.” 

Lucky didn’t look back as she replied “and eventually when you need to wash your clothes, what will you wear then? Or when it gets soaked in snow? And would you say you feel particularly warm in your current outfit?” 

To be fair, Evan was cold. He hadn’t realized how cold he was on Not-Hoth; when he had been walking to Icehome, Raahosh had given him a spare cloak, and they were walking so much Evan was sweating the whole trip. He gave his shirt a subtle sniff, and realized it, or maybe he, smelled terrible. 

“Okay, point made. Just give me somebody’s hand-me-down and I can switch between the outfit I came in and whatever you give me.”

Lucky breathed out deeply. 

“What? What’s wrong?” Evan asked.

“Sorry, it’s not your fault. You’re all like this, I should be used to it by now.”

“Who’s ‘you all’?” And like what?”

Lucky finally stopped walking and turned to face Evan.

“Based on my experience with the few refugees that have memories from being slaves, you aren’t treated well in the universe. Flinching when people get close, insisting on taking scraps, acting as if a simple request will get you beat. You seemed less like that, but that’s probably because you’re a male. You’re still insistent you don’t need anything though. Bad news, you do. You’re going to need a lot of community and care here. It’s not like being a slave, I promise. We live communally. We care for each other, we’re one big kind of family. Everyone takes care of each other here. No one is going to care if you need new clothes, or new bowls, or a bed. We have plenty of resources to give you what you need. Now, if you’ll stop arguing with me, we can go into the store room and get some furs and I can make you some clothes.”

And with that, Lucky started walking again into a cave. Evan stood behind her, contemplating what she had said to him. He always assumed he wasn’t like the other enslaved people, scared and afraid. He had rarely experienced any violence, and C’lart treated him more like dumb kid than something to be kicked around. Sure, he knew not to piss C’lart off or any of his associates, but he had been taken care of, for the most part. Yes, sometimes C’lart forgot to get him the protein blocks and he had to ration what was left, until C’lart remembered. And yeah, he knew not to ask for things. The only things he ever asked for was the gene manipulation and top surgery, and it had been that or death. 

And Alexandria, he reminded himself. You asked for her to be spared. 

A painful memory surfaced. Evan, on his hands and knees, begging C’lart not to sell her. Promising everything under the sun, everything he had to offer C’lart. C’lart hadn’t cared, had pretended Evan wasn’t even there.

Evan was shaken out of the memory when Lucky called from inside the cave.

“Come inside, tell me what skins feel the best to you.” 

Shaking his head to clear it, Evan headed inside.

Chapter 4: Tough Talk Part 2

Summary:

Evan adjusts to Icehome, and has another tough talk with Lucky, though now she's on the receiving end.

Notes:

Trying to make progress on this piece! Feeling very insecure, this is my first time writing fanfiction since I was in middle school. Making progress though! I think this might be a shorter story that gets longer nad more developed as I get more comfortable writing. I dunno though, we'll see!

Over the next couple of days, Lucky gave Evan a speedrun of how to live on Not-Hoth. Lucky was a good teacher, if not a bit harsh and blunt. Evan was used to not being coddled though, and after a few days he knew how to make a fire, cook a basic stew, and patch a hole in a piece of clothing. Evan was getting a handle on the large population of Icehome too; Lucky took him on visits to different homes and people to learn skills, and helpfully repeated everyones’ names several times. The people of Icehome were kind and friendly to him, giving him directions or advice easily. Everyone seemed relatively happy living here, one big happy and dysfunctional family.

Except for Lucky. Lucky seemed slightly removed from everyone in Icehome. She didn’t hang out in the communal fires to eat dinner, or the large community hut they had where they sang off-tune songs. She stayed in her hut besides when she was showing Evan around, and even then was quiet and grumpy. 

Evan didn’t mind though. He had dealt with plenty of grumpy people in his life, and he was mostly just thankful Lucky was being kind enough to help assimilate him into the group. 

After Evan felt more settled, he started to wonder when Lucky would initiate the archival work they were supposed to be doing. She had gotten him a notebook and quills on their first excursions to the supplies hut, but hadn’t yet made a venture to interview or record anything.

It was an unusually foggy morning when Evan finally got the courage to broach the subject with Lucky. It was midmorning, and the two of them had just finished breakfast. Lucky was knitting in her bed, a blanket wrapped around her. Evan sat parallel to her on his own bed, tapping his foot nervously.

“Hey Lucky?” Evan asked.

“Yes?” Lucky replied, not looking up from her knitting project. 

“Are we ever gonna… ya know… work on the project we’re supposed to be working on?”

Lucky sighed, and paused her knitting.

“We’re not supposed to be working on anything,” she replied.

“Well, it’s just, Liz said you wanted to do this, and that I was supposed to help you, so I was wondering when we were gonna start doing that.”

“You’re not supposed to help me do anything.”

There was a long pause as Lucky resumed knitting, and Evan was stuck in confusion. 

“Sorry, I don’t really understand. Could you explain this to me differently?” Evan asked.

“Look, Evan, Liz can go fuck herself. Yeah we’re all supposed to work together as a community, but you don’t need to do anything you don’t want to do. If you just want to hang out here until you’re safe to leave, that’s fine. You’re not my assistant, or slave, or anything. You can do whatever you want. I’m not your owner.”

Evan observed Lucky’s facial expression; her eyebrows furrowed, her eyes closed.

“Oh. Did you think I felt guilted into doing the archival project?”

“I don’t think you felt guilted into it, I know you were guilted into it. You clearly weren’t happy about being assigned the task.”

Evan laughed, and Lucky finally looked up at him, clearly confused.

“You are just a big softie deep down inside, aren’t you?” Evan chucked. Lucky frowned and put down her knitting, getting up off the bed to walk outside. As she walked past Evan, he grabbed her leg and held on.

“Woah hold on! I didn’t mean to offend! You just have this sort of gruff exterior but you are so sweet inside! I was just surprised!”

“Let go of my leg,” Lucky snapped, trying to tug out of his grasp.

“Can you just sit down for a second and we can talk this out?”

“No.”

Evan gripped Lucky’s leg tighter. “Well, I guess I’m going to have to hold onto your leg forever then, huh?”

He rested his head against Lucky’s thigh. Her skin was incredibly warm, and soft like velvet. It was a beautiful blue color, and he had the impulse to rub his head against her leg like a cat.

Okay, well you’re not going to do that, because that’s fucking sexual harassment he thought to himself.

Lucky tried gently to extract herself from Evan’s arms, but Evan clung tightly still.

“Lucky, please sit down and talk to me like a grown up, which you are allegedly.”

Lucky stopped struggling, and Evan gently released her leg from his grasp. Lucky plopped down on her bed and glared at Evan. Evan, in return, gave her a winning smile.

“I think you have very sweet intentions. Yeah, frown all you want, but you are a kind person. You don’t want to control me like the slavers did. I can appreciate that! But asking me to contribute to this community isn’t the same thing as slavery. I could not contribute at all and I see that while people might be annoyed, I would receive no harm for it. I actually would like to get some sort of job, or be more helpful, it means a lot to me that everyone accepted me with open arms. Especially you, you’ve been so kind to me. I know you’re not a big mushy person, but I am really lucky, ha, get it? Well I’m lucky I ended up with you as my hut mate.”

The corners of Lucky’s mouth strained as she tried to repress a smile.

Evan continued, saying “I’d like to contribute, and I’d like to work on your archival work. You know everyone here, but I’m a fresh set of eyes. You can explain each process to me as a new person, so you can make sure you’re not missing out on any piece of information. We can even preserve the history of every single story here. We have a chance to not lose anything to time. I think it could be a really cool project, and I want to do it. Will you do it with me?”

Evan held his hand out to Lucky. She grasped it, and Evan saw his five fingers wrapped by four blue fingers. Lucky gently squeezed his hand. 

“Okay, if you’re sure you’re okay with it. We can start tomorrow. I need to think of a good person to start with, and we should talk through the best way to record things.”

Evan beamed at Lucky, and she gave a small, hesitant smile in return.

“Tomorrow it is then,” Evan said. 

Chapter 5: A Domestic Morning

Summary:

Just a brief look at Evan and Lucky's morning before they start their archival work!

Notes:

I want to start writing this more regularly. I want to get into the more romantic aspect of this fanfiction but I get bored by doing the ground work of the introductions to the characters.

It was the morning after Lucky had agreed to start their archival work, and Evan was regretting his decision to push Lucky. 

“Evan?” Lucky asked, and he groaned loudly. 

He pulled the warm fur over his head and took some deep breaths as he heard Lucky moving around the hut. Evan was starting to feel comfortable, maybe for the first time in his life. The hut was warm; Lucky had started a small fire in the morning and the hut had begun to get toasty. He could smell the tea that Lucky was boiling, and he felt relaxed as he heard the quiet sounds of the morning.

It was a sharp comparison to this soft morning to the way he used to wake up. C’lart woke up the slaves was by switching on bright fluorescent lights and blaring an alarm. Often Evan had just barely fallen asleep before the lights were turned on. He had a hard time sleeping in the dorm room, there was so much crying and snoring and sniffling. The worst though was when it was quiet, where there were no slaves to make noise in the night, and Evan worried that he or Alexandria were going to be sold. That there good luck with C'lart would have finally run out.

And then one day it did. Evan, alone in the dorm room. No noise but the sound of his own muffled crying as wept into his hands.

The painful memory consumed him for a second, and just as quickly as it appeared he was pulled out of it by Lucky's presence as she leaned over him.

“It’s time to get up,” she said in a stern voice. 

Evan put a pillow over his head, and he felt the bed sink down a bit as Lucky sat on the edge of it.

“C’mon, we have a big day ahead of us.”

Evan lay perfectly still now, hoping that Lucky would leave him alone.

Maybe if she thinks I’m dead, I can get a few more minutes while she gets Veronica.

The thick, sweet scent of the shrimp tea snuck up through the layers of his blankets. Evan could feel the warmth of the cup close to his face, and he tentatively moved the pillow.

“Is that for me?” Evan asked. He loved Not-Hoth’s shrimp tea; it tasted like chai tea from Earth. He had missed coffee and chai so much when he had been a slave. All he ever had to drink was lukewarm water, for many years.

“Well, it was for you, but maybe I’ll just go ahead…” Lucky trailed off, slowly bringing the cup to her mouth. Evan shot out his hand and grabbed the cup from her grasp. There was a brief moment where his hand was wrapped around Lucky’s, and the cup’s warmth radiated through their layered hands. 

“Okay, okay, here you go. Now it’s time to get going for the day.” Lucky released the mug into Evan’s grasp, and she got off up his bed. Evan placed the mug on the ground for a brief moment while he sat up. He wrapped the blankets around his body, trying to keep in all his body heat. He picked up his mug and groaned, this time with pleasure.

Evan saw Luck pause for a second, and then she resumed her ritual activities of getting ready for the day. He admired how organized Lucky was; she woke up with the sunrise and made her bed every morning. Evan meanwhile slept in as late as possible, usually only having the lukewarm leftovers of the morning meal. His side of the hut was disorganized, his bedding on the floor, and just a pile of supplies. 

Evan drank his tea while he studied Lucky. She collected her twists and tied them back away from her face using a piece of leather. He liked looking at Lucky in these soft moments, where she wasn’t on guard. He had grown fond of her in the couple of weeks they had been living together. Yes, she could be gruff and harsh, but she was incredibly kind and caring. Everyone in Icehome clearly respected and liked her, seeing past her tough exterior to the squishy core. 

Like some of the hybrid sa-khui and human offspring, she had no plating on her body. Her skin was a darker blue than many of the descendants of the sa-khui, and while many of her peers had long straight hair, hers was much curlier. She often kept it in protective styles, and he had talked to her for a few hours while she had redone her twists a few days ago. Evan would smile when Lucky's hair bounced when she made a sudden movement of laughed. More often than not though, she was serious and reserved. She didn’t sit with people in the community hut, or share meals with them. Neither did she work with groups on chores, choosing to do them by herself, usually sitting by the waves or in her hut. Her reserved nature reminded him a little bit of some of the slaves he had lived with; there existed a kind of grief in her that was familiar. 

Evan finished drinking his tea and begrudgingly got out of bed.

“Is there a reason we need to start this at the ass crack of dawn?” he complained, rubbing his eyes exaggeratedly.

“We need to schedule time with people before they get caught up in their lives,” she responded. Evan sighed and dropped the blankets from around his shoulder. He rummaged through his pile of clothing, trying to find something that smelt relatively clean. He caught Lucky smirking as he sniffed a pair of pants.

“Don’t judge me, okay? I need to do the washing soon, I know.”

“If you did it every other day like I do, it wouldn’t pile up like this,” she replied, and Evan rolled his eyes.

“It’s way better to wait until it’s all dirty, and then clean it all in one go,” he replied.

“Ah yes, and that method is clearly working for you right now?”

Evan held his head up high as he found a odorless pair of pants. 

“Yep! Nothing wrong with it! Fresh pair of pants right here!” 

Evan started to pull down his pants before pausing and giving Lucky a pointed look. 

Lucky looked back, confused. 

Evan coughed, and tilted his head.

Lucky looked even more confused.

“I’m changing?” he said, as a way of explanation.

“I can see that?”

“Could you, ya know, give me some privacy?”

“Oh I forget how precious you humans are with your privacy. As if I haven’t seen everyone in this village naked.”

Lucky made a big show of both covering her eyes and turning around.

“I get it, everyone here is a nudist, but I’m not,” Evan said as he pulled up his pants.

“Okay, I’m good.”

Lucky turned around and started to put her boots on while Evan found a shirt to wear. He had learned to wear a knitted tank top under the over shirts. The undershirts were easier to wash and soaked up sweat, while the over shirts stayed cleaned and therefore were re-wearable. He eyed the pile of undershirts there were currently not re-wearable, as they desperately needed to be washed. He kicked them under his bed while he pulled on his shirt.

Evan finally finished getting dressed and quickly went outside to splash some water on his face. As he left the Lucky’s hut and to the edge of the sea, he appreciated the beautiful twin sunrise. Lucky’s hut was near the end of the line of huts; isolated and quiet on the edge. He could see smoke in the distance as he washed up. His hut was being built next to hers, he could even see the stone flooring some of the aliens had started to assemble. After he washed his face he ran some water through his hair to flatten it down. He walked back into the hut and started to lace up his boots, while Lucky gathered the writing materials and put them in a satchel.

“Alright, are you finally ready?” Lucky asked, leaning against the entrance to the hut. 

“Yeah, let’s do this.”

Chapter 6: Evan Gets A Hug

Summary:

Evan and Lucky do their first day of record keeping; Ashtar makes an ass of himself; our strangers are becoming friends

Notes:

hey sorry I didn't update this for *checks calendar* four months! I got a really nice comment a few days ago asking me to update this and it motivated me to get back into writing! This is a short chapter update, but I'm gonna try to recommit to writing this story!

Lucky and Evan spent the early part of the morning working with Veronica, interviewing her about the herbal medicines she used and how to best treat various ailments. Lucky spoke to Veronica, asking her about the medicines and their uses while Evan summarized the information. Evan also left space on each page for later, when Lucky would draw the herbs for reference. 

It was a peaceful morning; Evan leaned against the wall of the healer’s hut while Lucky and Veronica spoke. The hut was warm, and Evan focused on writing everything important down. The time passed easily, and Evan often smiled softly while he listened to Veronica and Lucky talk. They clearly had known each other for years, and each was fond of the other. Veronica seemed a little absent minded, and Lucky tried to redirect the conversation back onto the herbs, instead of resonance gossip. 

After a while, Ashtar came into the hut bringing several cups and a large container of tea. 

“Hello everyone, I come bearing gifts!”

Ashtar poured everyone tea, and sat next to Veronica. Veronica leaned against Ashtar, and he wrapped his arms around her. There was the pleasant, satisfied call of resonance between him, and Evan was once again reminded how nice it must be to have a special, assigned soulmate. 

Once Ashtar had joined the conversation, it drifted away from the record keeping project. He and Veronica spoke about their sons and their drama with resonance; Varukhal had a resonance partner but Katamneas hadn’t been so lucky. Katamneas was upset because he felt he should have resonated before his younger brother, and it was causing tension between the brothers, and therefore the family unit as a whole. The couple didn’t seem particularly anxious about the conflict, mostly amused by the upset between the siblings, as they were always in competition growing up and it had existed into adulthood. 

After Ashtar finished telling a story about his sons competing as kids over finding the biggest fish, he turned to Evan.

“Do you feel the pull of resonance, Evan? Is there anyone here who could potentially be your resonance mate?”

Evan’s face flushed red, and he felt Lucky stiffen next to him. 

“Uh, I’m not going to resonate,” Evan said flatly, and Ashtar let out a booming laugh.

“Oh everyone feels that way! You sound like Katamneas! I’ll tell him but I’ll tell you, it will happen for you too!”

Evan grimaced and looked down at his notebook. Lucky sat up suddenly and held her hand out to pull Evan up. Evan looked up at her in surprise, and saw her face was as deliberately blank. 

“We should be going. Veronica, thank you for your time.” 

Lucky’s hand was still outstretched towards Evan, and he took it into his. Lucky helped pull Evan to his feet, and they strode out of the hut quickly. Evan heard Veronica start scolding Ashtar, but he was too far from the hut to hear what she was saying. 

Lucky continued to lead Evan, hand in hand, away from the hut. She was walking quickly, and Evan had to jog slightly to match her pace. After a while they appeared at the edge of the ocean, and Lucky stopped moving. Evan stood beside her, still holding her hand. He risked a glance at her face, and saw her eyes were slightly watery with tears. Lucky noticed Evan looking at her, and dropped his hand to quickly wipe her eyes. They stood in silence for several moments.

“Ashtar is kind of an idiot,” Evan said gently, and Lucky gave a sad chuckle.

“I hate how everyone is about resonance,” Lucky said, and Evan nodded.

“My parents live in Croatan, and that’s where I grew up. Once I was old enough to resonate, I had to leave. Everyone around me, that’s all they could ever talk about. Who was resonating, who liked who, who was mad at whoever. It sucked. I’m never going to resonate, and everyone knows it, but they pretend something else could happen. It’s stupid.”

Lucky sighed and dropped down to sit on the sand. She patted the ground next to her, and Evan sat down next to her. Lucky took a deep breath and continued to speak.

“I had pleasure mates in the past, but it all ended when people started resonating. Nobody is interested in me because they know I don’t want to resonate. I don’t want to resonate, and I couldn’t even resonate if I did. No one even considers a bond that doesn’t end in resonance. There are plenty of wonderful couples who are together without resonance, and nobody looks down at their relationship. But yet, anyone who has a chance at resonance, that’s all they want.” 

The waves rolled in and out, and the twin suns cast a few warm rays in the sand. Evan considered what Lucky had said thoughtfully, lost in his own world. He hadn’t been raised in a society that had resonance, but he understood why Lucky felt so much grief. Evan had never thought much about relationships; for so much of his life he had been in survival mode, without a chance for romantic connection. He never let himself get attached to the enslaved people C’lart trafficked, trying to keep to himself so as to not get hurt.

Except you did get attached, didn’t you? Maybe not romantically, but you made a bond. A nasty voice in his head replied. You fucked up, and now you’ll never see her again. 

Evan shook his head and tried to get rid of the thought of Alexandria. She was gone now, and there was nothing he could do about it. He had done the best he could, and it wasn’t enough and too late. All he could do now was focus on the present and getting through one day at a time.

“Do you really think you won’t resonate?” Lucky suddenly asked, breaking the silence. Her voice was quiet, unsure, anxious. Evan nodded but realized Lucky was looking straight ahead, so he spoke.

“There’s a lot of reasons why I won’t resonate. I only took the khui because Liz promised me it wouldn’t force me to resonate. I understand why people like the idea of a soulmate bond, but it’s just not in the cards for me. And besides, the rest of the world doesn’t have these kinds of bonds. It’s unique to this planet, and this parasite. Every other kind of person has managed to find love without a stupid worm telling them what to do.”

Lucky got up from sitting down and held her hand out for Evan to help pull him up. Evan let himself be tugged up to her, but was surprised when she pulled him in for a hug. Lucky was much taller than him, and hugging her awkwardly pressed his face into her chest. She held him in his arms for a moment, and Evan slowly brought his arms around her waist. They stood there for some time, gently holding each other. Lucky eventually let go of Evan and stepped back, and both of their faces were a little flushed. Evan cleared his throat, and Lucky looked everywhere but Evan’s face. Eventually their embarrassment passed, and they walked back to their hut together. 

Chapter 7: Oh, Evan

Notes:

Oh Evan... you traumatized baby...

The time passed quickly and slowly in Icehome for Evan. Everyday he and Lucky interviewed various members of Icehome; asking about their origin stories, learning about their various skill sets and tips they had for surviving, generally making a mix mash reference series for the alien community. Evan and Lucky didn’t get to interview and record every day; there was much to do to survive on Not-Hoth, and everything took so much longer than it did with the technology Evan was used to. Something as simple as eating was a multi-step process, from hunting the meat, skinning the animal, creating a fire to cook, cleaning up after yourself. It all was so intensive.

Evan was learning better how to survive, largely because he was recording all the information on how to in the books. He would watch Gail mix herbs together to cook, or Pak disassemble a kill into meat to be smoked and organs to be used for stew. Evan was like a sponge, absorbing it all into his brain. Whenever he wasn’t with Lucky recording information, he was looking over what he had written and trying to practice it for himself. 

It felt good to be doing something with his hands, to see his work become something real. It wasn’t the bookkeeping he had to do with C’lart, treating the enslaved people that came in and out of their station like meat. Instead, he was doing good, he was providing food for the community.

At a certain point, it became his community too. 

Evan grew to know everyone in Icehome. He spent enough time with them, with Lucky, talking to everyone that he knew so much about them. He was teased by the youth about his bad trapping skills, O’jek knew which were Evan’s favorite stews and saved him bowls when he got to dinner later. He felt a sense of familiarity and belonging that he didn’t think he had ever felt in his life before, maybe not even when he was a teen on Earth. 

He felt the most comfortable with Lucky though. Lucky and his relationship reminded him a bit of him and Alexandria, the level of ease he felt. He and Lucky spent almost all their time together, and whenever someone needed to find Lucky they always looked for Evan to find her. The hut belonged to Lucky, but at this point they shared it equally between them. Evan wasn’t sure he wanted his hut to be built, even if it was right next to Lucky’s hut. He felt safe in the hut with her, and her sound breathing helped him fall asleep at night. 

A few cycles of the moons living at Icehome, and Evan was sure he wouldn’t be happier in his own hut. He was pretty sure Lucky liked living with him too, even if she played it close to the chest. Progress hadn’t been made much on his hut, largely because there were many mouths to feed and responsibilities to be dealt with, and Evan wasn’t causing a problem about his lack of hut. Unfortunately, he had to address the elephant in the room one night around the campfire.

Evan, Lucky, I’rec and Flor were all sitting around the fire while a stew simmered. Lucky was interviewing I’rec about the island he came from, and Evan was recording diligently. After some time, Flor sighed loudly, interrupting the conversation.

“I’rec, you’re boring the three of us to death. Finish up your story and let’s go to bed.” 

I’rec laughed loudly, smiling down at his resonance mate.  There was a profound tenderness in his eyes, and that softness was in all the eyes of the mated couples in Icehome. In moments like these, Evan wished for a partner so badly. He wished for a completed other half, like so many of these aliens had on their planet. He didn’t need a resonance match, but a match in general. Dating hadn’t been an option from him growing up, as a closeted transgender teen. Then when he was C’lart’s bookkeeper, he couldn’t get attached to anyone, lest they be sold the next day. He had gotten attached to Alexandria just as a friend, and it had broken his heart when … well when the inevitable had happened.

It’s your fault the cruel voice inside of him said.

Evan shook his head, and focused back on the conversation. Lucky was glaring at I’rec, and I’rec was shrugging his shoulders. When he listened back into the conversation, he heard Lucky scolding I’rec.

“He’s been here six cycles of the moon, and he still has no hut of his own! If he were a part of a resonance couple, everything would have been done to give him a hut! Surely there are a few people who could be spared to build his hut!” 

I’rec rolled his eyes and replied. “Lucky, I appreciate that you don’t want a roommate anymore, but this isn’t a priority. His hut will be built when there is enough time and resources. Be patient.”

Lucky opened her mouth to argue back, but Evan intervened.

“I mean, it’s not urgent for me, right now.”

Lucky looked at him confused, while I’rec smiled happily.

“See! Not a problem!” I’rec loudly declared, and Lucky started arguing again.

“No! He is just saying that because he is afraid he is being a problem! You can’t believe anything he says, he needs his own space. Evan, this is not the time to back down. Tell I’rec how much you hate living with me!”

Now Evan looked at Lucky in confusion. 

“Lucky, I love living with you! Do you not like living with me?”

Flor laughed quietly under her breath and pulled at I’rec to leave. Lucky tilted her head at Evan. 

“I love living with you too! I thought you would hate living with me, in the cramped quarters. I wake up so early, and you always complain that I let the sunlight in when I open the privacy screen.”

Flor and I’rec got up and started walking away, as Evan and Lucky continued to talk.

“I complain because it’s silly, not because I actually hate it. I love living with you, it’s nice to always have someone to talk to. The hut is so warm because of the two of us, too. Besides, what do I need a whole hut to myself for? I’m leaving at some point. There’s no reason to built a hut just for me to leave.”

Lucky flinched, and suddenly her face became as blank and still as a stone.

“You’re leaving?” she asked, staring down at her hands.

Evan swallowed. “I mean, that was the plan. I’m not meant for this planet. I’m supposed to be here until things cool over where I’m from.”

“You said that when you got here, but then you never said anything else about it. I thought… because of how long it had been, and because you never said anything… maybe you weren’t leaving anymore. Maybe something had changed.” 

Evan felt himself still. Something had changed, but he didn’t know how to explain that to Lucky. Yes, he loved this community, and he hadn’t made any attempts to shy away from becoming a part of this home. But he wasn’t meant for Not-Hoth, was he? He was supposed to go to Risda III, and become a farmer? Sure, he hadn’t been excited about that plan, but what were his other options? Stay here forever, on this cold planet?

Lucky and Evan sat quietly, each clearly caught up in their own thinking. Lucky looked at Evan expectantly, and Evan didn’t have anything to say back to her. He had agreed to hide out on this planet until C’lart was in jail, and then he was going to Risda III. The was the plan, and nothing had changed.

Even if it felt like things had changed.

Lucky got up and crushed the sand off her leathers. 

“Fine. You can stay in my hut until you can go back to wherever you’re from. There’s no need to build you a separate hut, I suppose.”

Even though Evan had got what he wanted, to stay roommates with Lucky, he hadn’t wanted it to come from this. He tried to compel himself to say something to Lucky to make it better, to explain to her why he needed to leave. She was standing over him, waiting for him to respond. Instead, like a coward, he said nothing. Lucky turned her back and walked away, and Evan spent many hours staring at the fire, trying to understand what he was feeling.