Chapter Text
Liu Qingge would be the first to admit his recklessness.
He had been anxious about his stagnant cultivation progress for the past two years. Going into seclusion in the Lingxi caves had been a rushed decision.
Liu Qingge should have known better. He should have taken the time to think things through. Instead, he chose to act on impulse. And when the Qi deviation hit him, it was too late to react.
Now he had to deal with the consequences.
He had blacked out, and the next thing he knew, Shen Qingqiu was there, one of his hands clutching tightly at Liu Qingge’s arm.
He couldn’t fully comprehend what happened before anger burned in his gut. “Shen Qingqiu! You-” Amid his yelling, Shen Qingqiu staggered forward into Liu Qingge’s chest. It was so sudden that he could do nothing but catch him before he fell to the ground.
His hands, now holding him, started to dampen with something. Liu Qingge shakily raised his right hand, his whole body trembling when he saw red. But he knew. He knew this was his fault.
Bits and pieces of scattered memories in his mind painted an ugly picture, and it became clearer when he saw the blade sticking out from Shen Qingqiu’s back.
Chilled to the core, he tried to push Shen Qingqiu back, but he didn’t let him, clutching him tighter.
“Shen Qingqiu!” Liu Qingge called hotly. He pressed his hand on the back of Shen Qingqiu’s neck, trying to sense the damage. “Shen Qingqiu,” He called again, desperate for an answer.
“Brute,” Shen Qingqiu rasped out. He sounded as if he was choking. “You, ah-”
“Just don’t speak, Shen Qingqiu. I will take you to Qian Cao right away.” Liu Qingge slowly lowered them to the ground to better grasp his shixiong.
“Shidi.” Shen Qingqiu pulled back, and Liu Qingge could finally study his face.
His mouth and chin were covered in blood, his breath ragged and his forehead covered in sweat. Shen Qingqiu’s eyes were hazy, his voice trembling as he whispered, “Don’t be-” He coughed, spilling more blood. “Don’t be foolish, ah, it is too far; I will not make it, Shidi.”
“Then what should I do?! Shixiong! What should I do?!” Liu Qingge’s hand shook as he reached out to touch Shen Qingqiu’s face. Desperately, he held the older man, his breath erratic. “Why did you do this?!”
It was as if he had been gutted. Was he not the one who always assumed that if his shixiong had the chance, he wouldn’t hesitate to leave him for dead?
Wasn’t this the reason for the worsening of the enmity between them?
“Why did you lower your sword?!” If Shen Qingqiu hadn’t faltered, it would be Liu Qingge the one bleeding out, deservedly so.
Doesn’t his shixiong hate him? Why didn’t he-
“Stupid man asking stupid questions.” Shen Qingqiu shushed him. “Sho, shouldn’t you be glad you will not have to deal with me… anymore?”
Liu Qingge felt his heart shatter as Shen Qingqiu spoke, his voice filled with sadness that made Liu Qingge’s eyes sting.
“No!” Liu Qingge pressed his hands on any undamaged part of Shen Qingqiu he could reach, pushing whatever Qi he had left into his meridian. “Jus- just stop talking! You are going to be fine!”
How could he be glad when Shen Qingqiu was bleeding in his arms?!
“Liu-shidi should get out of here…” Sharp coughs wracked the older man, and more blood dripped down his chin.
“Didn’t I tell you to stop talking!”
Liu Qingge knew he was running out of time. He would do anything to save Shen Qingqiu, but he was helpless.
He could only watch as the older man’s life slipped away. He could only regret. He was filled with grief, pain, and despair. He felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest. He was lost, and he wished for a miracle.
A ripple of something stirred in the air around them, so strong that he nearly keeled over with its ferocity, but he held his shixiong tighter in his embrace. Liu Qingge refused to see him come to further harm.
He couldn’t pay attention to what was happening around him because the breath brushing against his ear was now too faint for comfort.
“Shen Qingqiu…” Liu Qingge called out to his shixiong, the name more a desperate plea. The man in his arms stilled, his head dropping onto Liu Qingge’s shoulder.
Liu Qingge felt his heart grow heavy with fear.
“It’s all my fault.” Tears burned his eyes, and he hugged his shixiong closer. Raising a hand to stroke the older man’s hair gently, Liu Qingge whispered in his ear. “This shidi is too stupid. I promise to always listen to you from now on. I will not fight with you anymore. You just wake up.”
He called out to him again and again as his cheeks grew wet and his vision blurred. “Shen Qingqiu! Wake up!”
But no matter how much he called to him, his shixiong didn’t answer. Shen Qingqiu had long since taken his last breath.
The only sound in the dark, lightless cave was his loud, erratic breathing and soft whimpers. He hugged the once arrogant man tightly to him, refusing to let go.
The raw power in the air intensified as time passed, but Liu Qingge couldn’t care less. All his attention was on the slowly cooling body he was holding.
He jolted out of his daze when a bright white light enveloped them. Spiritual energy, though it was like nothing he had felt before.
He could tell it was drawn from the cave walls into their space. Prodding, pushing, and digging against Liu Qingge’s skin, devouring both his consciousness and his mind.
He couldn’t fight against it. He didn’t have the resolve. All he was willing to do at the moment was embrace Shen Qingqiu’s body and pray for anything that could hear his pleas that there was a way to get his shixiong back.
Liu Qingge almost tumbled off the bed he was sleeping on when he launched himself up into a sitting position. “Shen Qingqiu?!” He called out, searching the space around him forlornly.
He quickly paused at the confusing sight of the fancy room around him. He was alone, lying in... wait, is this his old room? The one in the Liu estate?
More than a little disoriented, he raises his hand to clutch at his head but stops once more when he sees that the size of his hand isn’t right. It seemed more fitting for a child than for a warrior.
“What the-?” He pushes away the quilt covering his body and stands up, his heart pounding as he tries to make sense of the situation.
Every muscle in his body seemed to ache, but it didn’t seem like there was any true injury to his physical frame.
Dazedly, he stumbled his way to the water basin next to the bed and almost fell to his knees when he peered at his reflection. Touching his young and childish face with shaky hands, the anxiety and confusion spread through him.
“How…?”
Turning away from the basin, Liu Qingge tugged at his hair. The last thing he can remember was having Shen Qingqiu in his arms, and then something happened-
Odd spiritual energy had thrummed in the walls of the Ling Xi caves. Did it cause his body to revert to a more youthful form? Was he sent back to the Liu estate to recover?
More importantly, what happened to Shen Qingqiu?
Anxious to see his shixiong, he clumsily pulled out a random outer robe from the closet to don. Stumbling his way out of the room, he promptly caught sight of one of the servants.
“Hey, you.” Liu Qingge called out, disoriented.
The boy turned to him, and Liu Qingge felt the world spin. He knew that face. He knew this boy. He was just more familiar with it when it was older, mature, and covered in scars.
“Young master Liu Mingyu, you are awake!” The young child with the same facial features as his retainer, Zhong Jo, approached him.
Liu Qingge squinted at him. It had been so long since someone other than his mother had called him that name that he wasn't sure what to say. But his silence didn’t seem to come off as odd to Zhong Jo.
“You shouldn’t be out of your bed just yet!”
“Why not?” Liu Qingge furrowed his brows.
“Oh, do you not remember what happened?”
Liu Qingge shook his head mutely.
“You passed out during your morning training.” Zhong Jo looked at Liu Qingge with concern. “The lord and lady had been angry when they found out you fainted because of overexertion.”
Right. He remembered this incident; he had been taken off Bai Zhan Peak to attend one of his cousin’s weddings, and because he couldn’t get back to his peak immediately after, he would spend time training, but he ended up overdoing it.
“I see…” Liu Qingge frowned, contemplating for a moment. “Zhang Jo, how old am I turning this year?”
“Ah-? As far as I know, you will turn thirteen in a few months?” The servant suddenly looked nervous. “Young master, are you sure you’re well enough to stand right now?”
“I am fine,” Liu Qingge huffed with annoyance.
“Even so, how about you go to your room before the lady sees you?” Zhang Jo started herding Liu Qingge back toward his chamber.
Liu Qingge didn’t resist. He did feel a little exhausted, and given how things were, he knew it would be best to go back to his room and recoup.
Sitting back on his bed, Liu Qingge rubbed at his forehead in frustration as he wrestled with accepting that his soul somehow jumped back in time.
He would say he sat and thought about what to do next, but that would be a lie, because from the second he woke up, he had one thought in mind.
He must find Shen Qingqiu.
The problem is that if Liu Qingge hasn’t even turned thirteen yet, that means Shen Qingqiu hasn’t joined Cang Qing Mountain. Because his Shixiong joined when Liu Qingge was sixteen, that means he will have to wait four years to reunite with him.
Which is completely impossible!
He must find Shen Qingqiu.
Liu Qingge doesn’t know where to start looking for him. His shixiong could be anywhere!
The knowledge that Shen Qingqiu was out there, alive yet out of reach, made the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach almost boil.
Searching for him using normal methods would be impossible. While Liu Qingge is a good hunter, no hunter could do anything if their prey didn’t leave a trail.
Shen Qingqiu wasn’t one to talk about himself, and Liu Qingge wasn’t one to ask.
He knew Shen Qingqiu was the young master of a wealthy family, but that was where his knowledge of his shixiong’s personal life ended.
Everything else he knew was… rumors.
When Shen Qingqiu first joined Cang Qing Sect, he had so many rumors circulating about him that even Liu Qingge was aware of them merely days after he joined.
After what happened in the Lingxi caves, Liu Qingge is no longer sure what to believe about the man.
Frustratingly enough, he can’t even trust himself, because not even a day ago he believed that, given the chance, Shen Qingqiu would kill him, but then look at how things ended.
He lets out a deep sigh. Liu Qingge drops to the floor, crosses his legs, and prepares to meditate. His inner turmoil had caused his Qi deviation. If he wanted to focus on finding Shen Qingqiu, he first ought to unwind the knots in his heart.
Closing his eyes, he focuses on his breathing, letting his worries and frustrations drift away with each exhale. The ritual's familiarity grounds him, clearing his mind and helping him find inner peace amid the chaos.
Carefully, he studies the frustratingly weak state of his foundation, relearning the old path of his meridians.
As he delves deeper into a higher state of focus, the sounds of the outside world fade, replaced by a serene calm.
Time slows around him, allowing him to reflect on his actions and contemplate the track ahead.
In the stillness, Liu Qingge finds clarity and resolve.
With a final deep breath, he opens his eyes and almost immediately jumps out of his skin when he sees the Liu family’s matriarch, his grandmother, standing over him.
“Oh! You’re finally done.”
Hurriedly, he gets to his feet to greet her. “Grandmother, I didn’t hear you come in.”
It had been quite a while since he last laid eyes on her. His grandmother looked unchanged, as if time had never touched her.
All of his interactions with her over the years had always been brief. Both of them were rarely at the Liu estate at the same time, especially so when he became a Peak Lord.
In a way, the two of them are strangers to each other.
“Hmm? I would be rather surprised if you did, considering the deep state of meditation you were in.” She says with a little chuckle. “You gave Zhang Jo a scare when he found you meditating.”
Oh, that’s right, he used to hate staying still for too long, didn’t he?
Well, if there was one thing his Shizun had taught him, it was how to sit down and meditate in peace. But that had taken the old man a few years to beat it into his skull.
His grandmother turned her back to him. “Come on, you must be quite hungry after not eating all day.”
She stepped out of his chamber and out to the courtyard. He hurried to follow after her, almost bumping into one of the servants scurrying around to place food on the low table at the side of the building.
Liu Qingge sat across from his grandmother, wind chimes softly tinkling in the background.
Liu Qingge grumbled that, yes, he was hungry. Now that he’s back to the foundation-building stage, he will need to start eating regularly again.
He already misses practicing inedia.
He sits across from her, picking up his pair of chopsticks. He notes there is also a plate for her. His grandmother rarely touches food, so she must have something she wants to talk to him about.
A moment of silence passes as his grandmother studies him.
“Your spiritual energy feels different?” Her words hung in the air like a delicate mist, prompting Liu Qingge’s hand to pause halfway to his mouth, his sharp eyes lifting to meet the matriarch’s.
With a slight furrow of his brow, Liu Qingge considered his response carefully.
The matriarch was renowned for her profound cultivation and insight. He shouldn’t be surprised that she found something off about him.
The question was how to answer. Disclosing the truth to her seemed unwise, but he couldn’t bring himself to deceive his grandmother.
Liu Qingge hesitated, his thoughts racing. “I had a vision...”
Visions are normal messages from a higher power or a spiritual realm. Liu Qingge knew they weren’t common in their family, especially not for men.
There were many tales of them. Normally it’s a voice, but it wasn’t uncommon for it to be a dream. And isn’t that what Liu Qingge experienced, in a way?
A long, very detailed dream of how the future is going to be.
One of her eyebrows goes up. “A vision, you say?”
“Mn.”
Another moment passes as she studies him and he slowly eats. “Are you going to tell me about it?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
She huffs, just a little annoyed. “I suppose I can understand that… still, I must ask. Is there anything you want me to help you with?”
At her words, a sudden realization hits him.
She might have a way to find Shen Qingqiu!
The chopsticks slip from his hands, and both of his fists hit the surface of the table. “I- I need to find someone! Grandmother, can you help me?!”
She blinks at his sudden outburst. “Your vision is that you need to find a person?”
“No, Shen- someone is connected to the vision, and I need to find him, but I don’t know how…”
“And you truly need to?”
“Yes.” Liu Qingge stressed the word, desperate for her to agree.
“Visions are normally provided to those of us who are made for greatness but are lacking guidance.” Finally, she looked away from him and down at her plate.
“If finding this individual is what you need to reach an epiphany in your journey, what kind of a grandmother am I not to help?” She said in a firm tone. “I will lend you an artifact that can assist you.”