Chapter Text
Katniss normally saw one side of Peta when they were in the games. He was kind, always willing to “take the bullet” for her; after that, trying to find ways to keep her sane (which was a very hard job to be honest), and later they tried that for each other.
But time had come, and they stayed together. The night became more bareable with him. Living, breathing, eating, all the things she didnt want to do after Prim's death little by little started to gain some more sense, but everything had started with him arriving to the Victor’s village.
She often saw his figure, golden hair, soft and gentle face, and the hands that had held her so many nights, planting some primroses, and some part of her just knew it was right. They were right, the faking was just the step to get to it. But out of all the things in the universe that were screwed, even though all the pain and suffering the had gone through, they were just right together, like some universal forces that balance each other like.
They started keeping each others company. She hunted and gave him some things to cook with, along all of his baking, though they didn’t really needed money or things out of the endless supply given to them because all of their contributions to Panem’a liberation, it was nice to do things for each other, and be a “couple”.
Some days they didn’t talk, they just worked in sync until bed time, where Peta lied in bed and Katniss fell into his arms, fitting perfectly, trying to scare the nightmares and getting better every time.
The first night he arrived, he moved had moved into the house next to her. They needed their proper time. But Katniss had nightmares, and the screamings were audible from 2 streets away. Peeta had come running to her place and the next night he dare to ask.
-Katniss, where do you want me to sleep?- he asks. She takes a few seconds and gives him an embarassed look.
He misses those nights where he slept to her heat against him at the Capitol. He only had to wake up earlier to leave the bed before biology surprised him with his little friend and not scare her. He never knew how much Katniss really knew about men and their bodies, and he didn’t want to push her then, or now, no matter how he always had felt about her, or how he felt when she laughed at one of his silly jokes, or when he made a good piece of bread and she melted into the flavor.
-Could you… sleep with me?- she didn’t want to look like she was begging, but they both knew he really helped her sleeping.
-Ahhh… of course- he blushed a little out of the choice of words, but quickly he told his brain to understand that she didn’t need him like that, though to his sadness, he had promised himself when coming here he would be only what she needed him to be, even if it not as he so many times dared to dream.
They lie on bed and, for the first time in months, Katniss sleeps with no problem. Not even the meds work like that for her.
Days go by, and when a little of piece is restored in her, something new comes up. Suddenly the hand that rubs her hair feels too hot, too heavy on her skin.
One night, she stares at Peeta sleeping and feels some hunger in her core, as if food and water and suddenly not enough but she wants the same thing she had in the beach.
She thought sleeping next to him was the best narcotic. The hand rubbing her head, the songs he sang to her in her sleep; but something inside her started running eventually. Like a hunger in her core, something within her that wasn’t anymore about food or water.
He wakes up to her staring at his lips like she is starving and he realizes what she is feeling, or at least what he hopes, so he dares to asks.
-Katniss, are you okay?- he asks.
-Yes, it is just that… I… I woke up and I…- she doesn’t know how to put into words what she feels, or how to ask for it. She is too embarrassed, grabs her hair by the ears and tries to look away shy.
They had kissed before, but this would be different, they had no camaras behind them, they had “intimacy”.
He puts his hand in top of the hand that is grabbing her hair makes and then pulls her chin a a little bit to make her look at him.
They share an intense look. She is like a little girl scared of how much she is feeling, and Peeta can see that in her face, which he has learn to read so good with time.
-Do you want…to kiss me?- he whispers still grabbing her chin.
-Yes… If you want to only. You don’t have to if you don’t wan…- how does she dare to even think he would say no? He shuts her with a sudden kiss in the lips and he puts his whole heart into it. He wants to show her how much he cares for her, now and then, and how she can ask whatever she wanted from him, and she would get it.
Katniss melts into it with shyness at first, rediscovering Peeta’s lips after a long time and it felt so safe, like being finally at home after a long time.
The kiss rises a little intensity, and Peeta stops himself, against all his natural impulses.
Katniss is surprised by it, but she has no experience more then faking a relationship to the Capitol.
-Are you okay Katniss?- he asks with the passion burning him slow to death. He really doesn’t want to push it and ruin the moment for her, or whatever thing he felt in his heart they were going to discover together.
-Yes Peeta- she says between breaths. She needs more, whatever this is, she realizes she is craving for Peeta’s skin, to all the known and beyond. She wants to discover him.
That answer is all he needed. He starts touching her neck and her waist, pulling her closer to her, not wanting to let her ever go.
She responds to it putting one hand in his chest and the other one in his neck. She needs more of it, or faster whatever it is.
Peeta gets his hands under her shirt and it starts to bother them, so he takes it off and it leaves Katniss uncover, and to her surprise, she doesn’t care. It is like he has seen all her parts, even before this, that she feels she can trust him with her body and soul.
He rubs her breasts with one hand and the other one holds her neck while leaving a trace of kisses from her mouth, through her neck down to her breast.
-Oh, Peeta…- she moans quietly trying to control herself through all of the new emotions, and she also doesn’t want to scare him and making him stop.
-Do you like it Katniss?- he asks and she nods.
-Tell me Katniss, with words. Do you like what I am doing to you?- she felt surprised by the buldge growing between his legs as a result of his words. It was even more beautiful than he could have ever imagine. To have the life of his life since he was 5 years old, like this, melting in his hands, it was just a dream came true.
-Yes Peeta… I like it- she gasps for air, not knowing where to hold on to. He makes her lie against the bed softly but she can feel the urgency he moves her with. She has no idea what’s next.
He kisses her in the mouth while being on top of her and she can feel something growing even more between her like through Peeta’s pants. She understands he needs some relief and starts using the natural impulse of her hips moved by desire to press against him over and over.
-Katniss…- he whispers with desire trying to control himself. Only if she knew how much he had wished this. Every time he glimpsed at the sweat on her collarbone after coming back from hunting only to have a victorious smile on her face, or when they were asleep and when seeing her face, he couldn’t stop his mind going to all the dirty places a gentleman shouldn’t go to.
-Peeta… I know men need some relief too, and I want to make you feel good, just like you make me- she tells him when facing him and she can see in his face the extasis at her words.
-But Katniss, we have no protection- Peeta says.
-I do- he blushed, but also feels a little jealous at the idea. Why would she need it?
She reads his jealousy and explains.
-They gave me some at the public health center, because I am a woman of age apparently- she explains.
Peeta felt waves of relief at that knowledge.
-For a moment I thought…- he wants to let a little of jealousy out but he doesn’t want to ruin the moment.
-What did you think? That I was with another man?- she gives him daring eyes. Peeta gets scared of her pushing away and regret shows in his face.
Katniss, aware of this, acts out.
-Peeta, you are the only one I think of, since a while ago. I am only yours to touch. - and she grabs his hand and places it in her womanly part, getting rid of her shorts at the same time, where he starts touching and preparing her.
Peeta feels burning at her reassuring words of how she was only his. He thinks of all the things they could do together, all the ways he would make her melt and really make her feel like she was his, to posses, to love, to worship.
He circles her spot and plays with his fingers all this untouched territory.
She wants to scream, but she is holding on, she had no idea what women should be doing in this part. Her life had summon to hunting and surviving. Even she hadn’t thought about Gale like that.
-Do you like it when I touch you here?- he learned to identify where she was more sensible, and kind of stimulate at the rhythm she responded the best.
She has no words for it. She can’t speak. She has only energy to whisper 1 word.
-Please…- she can’t utter any more words.
Peeta is still completely dressed and she is completely naked. She is at his mercy and completely exposed. Like a flower blossoming into the wild for the first time after a life time of being hidden from the sun.